or,presentlyagain,“Ineverhadsuchanidea!“Andhermindopenedwithdelighttothesenewthingswhichcamefromtheman’smindsosimpleanddirect。ToBrowningtheydidcomeback,buttheVirginian,thoughinterested,conceivedadislikeforhim。
“Heisasmarty,“saidhe,onceortwice。
“Nowhereissomething,“saidMolly。“Ihaveneverknownwhattothink。“
“Oh,Heavens!“murmuredthesickman,smiling。“Isitshort?“
“Veryshort。Nowpleaseattend。“Andshereadhimtwelvelinesaboutaloverwhorowedtoabeachinthedusk,crossedafield,tappedatapane,andwasadmitted。
“Thatisthebestyet,“saidtheVirginian。“There’sonlyonethingyu’canthinkaboutthat。“
“Butwait,“saidthegirl,swiftly。“Hereishowtheyparted:——
“Roundthecapeofasuddencamethesea,Andthesunlookedoverthemountain’srim——
Andstraightwasapathofgoldforhim,Andtheneedofaworldofmenforme。“
“Thatisvery,verytrue,“murmuredtheVirginian,droppinghiseyesfromthegirl’sintentones。
“Hadtheyquarrelled?“sheinquired。
“Oh,no!“
“But——“
“Ireckonhelovedherverymuch。“
“Thenyou’resuretheyhadn’tquarrelled?“
“Deadsure,ma’am。Hewouldcomebackaftehhehadplayedsomemoreofthegame。“
“Thegame?“
“Life,ma’am。Whateverhewasa-doin’intheworldofmen。That’sabed-rockpiece,ma’am!“
“Well,Idon’tseewhyyouthinkit’ssomuchbetterthansomeoftheothers。“
“Icouldsca’celyexplain,“answeredtheman。“Butthatwriterdoesknowsomething。“
“Iamgladtheyhadn’tquarrelled,“saidMolly,thoughtfully。Andshebegantolikehavingheropinionsrefuted。
Hisbandages,becomingalittleirksome,hadtobeshifted,andthisturnedtheirdiscoursefromliteraturetoWyoming;andMollyinquired,hadheeverbeenshotbefore?Onlyonce,hetoldher。
“Ihavebeenluckyinhavingfewfusses,“saidhe。“Ihatethem。
Ifamanhastobekilled——“
“Younever——“brokeinMolly。Shehadstartedbackalittle。
“Well,“sheaddedhastilydon’ttellmeif——“
“Ishouldn’twonderifIgotoneofthoseIndians,“hesaidquietly。“ButIwasn’twaitin’tosee!ButIcamemightyneardoingforawhitemanthatday。Hehadbeenhurtin’ahawss。
“Hurting?“saidMolly。
“Injurin。’Iwillnottellyu’aboutthat。Itwouldhurtyu’tohearsuchthings。Buthawsses——don’ttheydependonus?Ain’ttheysomethin’likechildren?Ididnotlayupthemanverybad。
Hewasabletotravel’mostrightaway。Why,you’dhavewantedtokillhimyourself!“
SotheVirginiantalked,norknewwhathewasdoingtothegirl。
NorwassheawareofwhatshewasreceivingfromhimasheunwittinglyspokehimselfouttoherintheseBrowningmeetingstheyhealeachday。ButMrs。Taylorgrewpleased。Thekindlydamewouldsometimescrosstheroadtoseeifshewereneeded,andstealawayagainafterapeepatthewindow。There,inside,amongtherestoredhometreasures,satthetwo:therosyalertgirl,sweetasshetalkedorreadtohim;andhe,thegrave,half-weakgiantamonghiswraps,watchingher。
Ofherdelayedhomevisitheneveragainspoke,eithertoherortoMrs。Taylor;andMollyveeredasidefromanytrendoftalksheforesawwasleadingtowardthatsubject。Butinthosehourswhennovisitorscame,andhewasbyhimselfinthequiet,hewouldlieoftensombrelycontemplatingthegirl’sroom,herlittledaintyknickknacks,herhomephotographs,allthedelicatemanifestationsofwhatshecamefromandwhatshewas。Strengthwasflowingbackintohimeachday,andJudgeHenry’slatestmessengerhadbroughthimclothesandmailfromSunkCreekandmanyinquiriesofkindness,andreturnedtakingthenewsofthecow-puncher’simprovement,andhowsoonhewouldbepermittedthefreshair。HenceMollyfoundhimwaitinginaflannelshirtofhighlybecomingshade,andwithasilkhandkerchiefknottedroundhisthroat;andhetoldheritwasgoodtofeelrespectableagain。
Shehadcometoreadtohimfortheallottedtime;andshethrewaroundhisshouldersthescarletandblackNavajoblanket,stripedwithitssplendidzigzagsofbarbarity。Thushehalfsat,halfleaned,languidbutatease。Inhislaplayoneofthelettersbroughtoverbythemessenger:andthoughshewasmidwayinabookthatengagedhisfullattention——DAVIDCOPPERFELD——hissilenceandabsentlookthismorningstoppedher,andsheaccusedhimofnotattending。
“No,“headmitted;“Iamthinkingofsomethingelse。“
Shelookedathimwiththatapprehensionwhichheknew。
“Ithadtocome,“saidhe。“Andto-dayIseemythoughtsstraighterthanI’vebeenuptomanagingsince——sincemyhardgotclear。AndnowImustsaythesethoughts——ifIcan,ifIcan!“Hestopped。Hiseyeswereintentuponher;onehandwasgrippingthearmofhischair。
“Youpromised——“trembledMolly。
“Ipromisedyoushouldloveme,“hesternlyinterrupted。
“Promisedthattomyself。Ihavebrokenthatword。“
SheshutDAVIDCOPPERHEADmechanically,andgrewwhite。
“Yourletterhascometomehyeh,“hecontinued,gentleagain。
“My——“Shehadforgottenit。
“Theletteryouwrotetotellmegood-by。Youwroteitalittlewhileago——notamonthyet,butit’sawayandawaylonggoneforme。“
“Ihaveneverletyouknow——“beganMolly。
“Thedoctor,“heinterruptedoncemore,butverygentlynow,“hegaveawdehsImustbekeptquiet。Ireckonyu’thoughttellin’memight——“
“Forgiveme!“criedthegirl。“IndeedIoughttohavetoldyousooner!IndeedIhadnoexcuse!“
“Why,shouldyu’tellmeifyu’preferrednot?Youhadwritten。
Andyouspeak“(heliftedtheletter)“ofneverbeingabletorepaykindness;butyouhaveturnedthetables。Icanneverrepayyoubyanything!byanything!SoIhadfiguredIwouldjustjogbacktoSunkCreekandletyougetaway,ifyoudidnotwanttosaythatkindofgood-by。ForIsawtheboxes。Mrs。Tayloristooniceawomantoknowthetrickoflyin’,andshecouldnotdeceiveme。Ihaveknowedyu’weregoingawayforgoodeversinceIsawthoseboxes。Butnowhyehcomesyourletter,anditseemsnowaybutImustspeak。Ihavethoughtadeal,lyin’inthisroom。And——to-day——IcansaywhatIhavethought。Icouldnotmakeyouhappy。“Hestopped,butshedidnotanswer。Hisvoicehadgrownsofterthanwhispering,butyetwasnotawhisper。Fromitsquietsyllablessheturnedaway,blindedwithsuddentears。
“Once,Ithoughtlovemustsurelybeenough,“hecontinued。“AndIthoughtifIcouldmakeyouloveme,youcouldlearnmetobeless——less-moreyourkind。AndIthinkIcouldgiveyouaprettygoodsortoflove。Butthatdon’thelpthelittlemeanpeskythingsofdaybydaythatmakeroughnessorsmoothnessforfolkstiedtogethersoawfulclose。Mrs。Taylorhyeh——shedon’tknowanythingbetterthanTaylordoes。Shedon’twantanythinghecan’tgiveher。Herfriendswilldoforhimandhisforher。AndwhenIdreamedofyouinmyhome——“heclosedhiseyesanddrewalongbreath。Atlasthelookedatheragain。“Thisisnocountryforalady。Willyu’forgetandforgivethebotheringIhavedone?“
“Oh!“criedMolly。“Oh!“Andsheputherhandstohereyes。Shehadrisenandstoodwithherfacecovered。
“Isurelyhadtotellyouthisallout,didn’tI?“saidthecow-puncher,faintly,inhischair。“Oh!“saidMollyagain“Ihaveputitclearhowitis,“hepursued。“IoughttohaveseenfromthestartIwasnotthesorttokeepyouhappy。“
“But,“saidMolly——“butI——youought——pleasetrytokeepmehappy!“Andsinkingbyhischair,shehidherfaceonhisknees。
Speechless,liebentdownandfoldedherround,puttinghishandsonthehairthathadbeenalwayshisdelight。Presentlyhewhispered:-“Youhavebeatme;howcanIfightthis?“
Sheanswerednothing。TheNavajo’sscarletandblackfoldsfelloverboth。Notwithwords,notevenwithmeetingeyes,didthetwoplighttheirtrothinthisfirstnewhour。Sotheyremainedlong,thefairheadnestinginthegreatarms,andtheblackheadlaidagainstit,whileoverthesilentroompresidedthelittleGrandmotherStarkinherframe,rosy,blue,andflaxen,notquitefamiliar,notquitesmiling。
Foralongwhileaftershehadlefthim,helaystill,stretchedinhischair。Hiseyeswerefixedsteadilyupontheopenwindowandthesunshineoutside。Therehewatchedthemovementoftheleavesuponthegreencottonwoods。Whathadshesaidtohimwhenshewent?Shehadsaid,“NowIknowhowunhappyIhavebeen。“
Thesesweetwordsherepeatedtohimselfoverandover,fearinginsomewaythathemightlosethem。Theyalmostslippedfromhimattimes;butwithajumpofhismindhecaughtthemagainandheldthem,——andthen-“I’mnotallstrongyet,“hemurmured。“I
musthavebeenverysick。“And,weakfromhisbulletwoundandfever,heclosedhiseyeswithoutknowingit。Therewerethecottonwoodsagain,waving,waving;andhefeltthecool,pleasantairfromthewindow。Hesawthelightdraughtstirtheashesinthegreatstonefireplace。“Ihavebeenasleep,“hesaid。“Butshewascert’nlyhereherself。Oh,yes。Surely。Shealwayshastogoawayeverydaybecausethedoctorsays——why,shewasreadin’!“
hebrokeoff,aloud。“DAVIDCOPPERFIELD。“Thereitwasonthefloor。“Aha!nailedyouanyway!“hesaid。“ButhowscaredIamofmyself!——You’reafool。Ofcourseit’sso。Nofeverbusinesscouldmakeyu’feellikethis。“
Hiseyedweltawhileonthefireplace,nextonthedeerhorns,andnextittravelledtowardtheshelfwhereherbookswere;butitstoppedbeforereachingthem。
“BettersayoffthenamesbeforeIlook,“saidhe。“I’vehadaheapo’misreadingvisions。And——andsupposin’——ifthiswasjustmysicknessfoolingmesomemore——I’dwanttodie。Iwoulddie!
Nowwe’llsee。IfCOPPERFIELDisonthefloor“(helookedstealthilytobesurethatitwas),“thenshewasreadin’tomewheneverythinghappened,andthenthereshouldbeaholeinthebookrow,top,left。Top,left,“herepeated,andwarilybroughthisglancetotheplace。“Proved!“hecried。“It’sallso!“
HenownoticedtheminiatureofGrandmotherStark。“Youareawfullikeher,“hewhispered。“You’recert’nlyawfullikeher。MayI
kissyoutoo,ma’am?“
Then,tottering,herosefromhissick-chair。TheNavajoblanketfellfromhisshoulders,andgradually,experimentally,hestoodupright。
Helpinghimselfwithhishandslowlyalongthewalloftheroom,androundtotheoppositewallwithmanyapause,hereachedthepicture,andverygentlytouchedtheforeheadoftheancestraldamewithhislips。“Ipromisetomakeyourlittlegirlhappy,hewhispered。
Healmostfellinstoopingtotheportrait,butcaughthimselfandstoodcarefullyquiet,trembling,andspeakingtohimself。
“Whereisyourstrength?“hedemanded。“Ireckonitisjoythathasunsteadiedyourlaigs。“
Thedooropened。Itwasshe,comebackwithhisdinner。
“MyHeavens!“shesaid;andsettingthetraydown,sherushedtohim。Shehelpedhimbacktohischair,andcoveredhimagain。Hehadsufferednohurt,butsheclungtohim;andpresentlyhemovedandlethimselfkissherwithfullerpassion。
“Iwillbegood,“hewhispered。
“Youmust,“shesaid。“Youlookedsopale!“
“Youarespeakin’lowlikeme,“heanswered。“Butwehavenodreamwecanwakefrom。“
Hadshesurrenderedonthisdaytohercowpuncher,herwildman?
Wassheforeverwhollyhis?HadtheVirginian’sfiresomeltedherheartthatnoriftinitremained?Soshewouldhavethoughtifanythoughthadcometoher。Butinhisarmsto-day,thoughtwaslostinsomethingmoredivine。