第54章

类别:其他 作者:Owen Wister字数:5302更新时间:18/12/26 17:11:26
TheVirginianunlockedtheroominthehotelwherehekeptstoredhistent,hisblankets,hispack-saddles,andhismanyaccoutrementsforthebridaljourneyinthemountains。Outofthewindowhesawthemountainsblueinshadow,butsomecottonwoodsdistantintheflatbetweenwerestillbrightgreeninthesun。 Fromamonghispossessionshetookquicklyapistol,wipingandloadingit。Thenfromitsholsterheremovedthepistolwhichhehadtriedandmadesureofinthemorning。This,accordingtohiswontwhengoingintoarisk,heshovedbetweenhistrousersandhisshirtinfront。Theuntriedweaponheplacedintheholster,lettingithangvisiblyathiship。Heglancedoutofthewindowagain,andsawthemountainsofthesamedeepblue。Butthecottonwoodswerenolongerinthesunlight。Theshadowhadcomepastthem,nearerthetown;forfifteenofthefortyminutesweregone。“Thebishopiswrong,“hesaid。“Thereisnosenseintellingher。“Andheturnedtothedoor,justasshecametoitherself。 “Oh!“shecriedoutatonce,andrushedtohim。 Hesworeasheheldherclose。“Thefools!“hesaid。“Thefools!“ “Ithasbeensofrightfulwaitingforyou,“saidshe,leaningherheadagainsthim。 “Whohadtotellyouthis?“hedemanded。 “Idon’tknow。Somebodyjustcameandsaidit。 “Thisismeanluck,“hemurmured,pattingher。“Thisismeanluck。“ Shewenton:“Iwantedtorunoutandfindyou;butIdidn’t!I didn’t!Istayedquietinmyroomtilltheysaidyouhadcomeback。“ “Itismeanluck。Mightymean,“herepeated。 “Howcouldyoubesolong?“sheasked。“Nevermind,I’vegotyounow。Itisover。“ Angerandsorrowfilledhim。“Imighthaveknownsomefoolwouldtellyou,“hesaid。 “It’sallover。Nevermind。“Herarmstightenedtheirholdofhim。Thenshelethimgo。“Whatshallwedo?“shesaid。“Whatnow?“ “Now?“heanswered。“Nothingnow。“ Shelookedathimwithoutunderstanding。 “Iknowitisaheapworseforyou,“hepursued,speakingslowly。 “Iknewitwouldbe。“ “Butitisover!“sheexclaimedagain。 Hedidnotunderstandhernow。Hekissedher。“Didyouthinkitwasover?“hesaidsimply。“Thereissomewaitingstillbeforeus。Iwishyoudidnothavetowaitalone。Butitwillnotbelong。“Hewaslookingdown,anddid;notseethehappinessgrowchilleduponherface,andthenfadeintobewilderedfear。“Ididmybest,hewenton。“IthinkIdid。IknowItried。Ilethimsaytomebeforethemallwhatnomanhaseversaid,oreverwillagain。Ikeptthinkinghardofyou——withallmymight,orI reckonI’dhavekilledhimrightthere。AndIgavehimashowtochangehismind。Igaveittohimtwice。IspokeasquietasIamspeakingtoyounow。Buthestoodtoit。AndIexpectheknowshewenttoofarinthehearingofotherstogobackonhisthreat。 Hewillhavetogoontothefinishnow。“ “Thefinish?“sheechoed,almostvoiceless。 “Yes,“heansweredverygently。 Herdilatedeveswerefixeduponhim。“But——“shecouldscarceformutterance,“butyou?“ “Ihavegotmyselfready,“hesaid。“Didyouthink——why,whatdidyouthink?“ Sherecoiledastep。“Whatareyougoing——“Sheputhertwohandstoherhead。“Oh,God!“shealmostshrieked,“youaregoing——“Hemadeastep,andwouldhaveputhisarmroundher,butshebackedagainstthewall,staringspeechlessathim。 “Iamnotgoingtolethimshootme,“hesaidquietly。 “Youmean——youmean——butyoucancomeaway!“shecried。“It’snottoolateyet。Youcantakeyourselfoutofhisreach。Everybodyknowsthatyouarebrave。Whatishetoyou?Youcanleavehiminthisplace。I’llgowithyouanywhere。Toanyhouse,tothemountains,toanywhereaway。We’llleavethishorribleplacetogetherand——and——oh,won’tyoulistentome?“Shestretchedherhandstohim。“Won’tyoulisten?“ Hetookherhands。“Imuststayhere。“ Herhandsclungtohis。“No,no,no。There’ssomethingelse。 There’ssomethingbetterthansheddingbloodincoldblood。Onlythinkwhatitmeans!Onlythinkofhavingtoremembersuchathing!Why,it’swhattheyhangpeoplefor!It’smurder!“ Hedroppedherhands。“Don’tcallitthatname,“hesaidsternly。 “Whentherewasthechoice!“sheexclaimed,halftoherself,likeapersonstunnedandspeakingtotheair。“Togetreadyforitwhenyouhavethechoice!“ “Hedidthechoosing,“answeredtheVirginian。“Listentome。Areyoulistening?“heasked,forhergazewasdull。 Shenodded。 “Iworkhyeh。Ibelonghyeh。It’smylife。IffolkscametothinkIwasacoward——“ “Whowouldthinkyouwereacoward?“ “Everybody。Myfriendswouldbesorryandashamed,andmyenemieswouldwalkaroundsayingtheyhadalwayssaidso。Icouldnotholdupmyheadagainamongenemiesorfriends。“ “Whenitwasexplained——“ “There’dbenothingtoexplain。There’djustbethefact。“Hewasnearlyangry。 “Thereisahighercouragethanfearofoutsideopinion,“saidtheNewEnglandgirl。 HerSouthernloverlookedather。“Cert’nlythereis。That’swhatI’mshowingingoingagainstyours。 “Butifyouknowthatyouarebrave,andifIknowthatyouarebrave,oh,mydear,mydear!whatdifferencedoestheworldmake? Howmuchhighercouragetogoyourowncourse——“ “Iamgoin’myowncourse,“hebrokein。“Can’tyu’seehowitmustbeaboutaman?It’snotfortheirbenefit,friendsorenemies,thatIhavegotthisthingtodo。IfanymanhappenedtosayIwasathiefandIheardaboutit,wouldIlethimgoonspreadin’suchathingofme?Don’tIowemyownhonestysomethingbetterthanthat?WouldIsitdowninacornerrubbin’ myhonestyandwhisperin’toit,’There!there!Iknowyouain’tathief“?No,seh;notalittlebit!Whatmensayaboutmynatureisnotjustmerelyanoutsidething。ForthefactthatIlet’emkeeponsayin’itisaproofIdon’tvaluemynatureenoughtoshielditfromtheirslanderandgivethemtheirpunishment。Andthat’sbeingapoorsortofajay。“ Shehadgrownverywhite。 “Can’tyu’seehowitmustbeaboutaman?“herepeated。 “Icannot,“sheanswered,inavoicethatscarcelyseemedherown。“IfIoughtto,Icannot。Toshedbloodincoldblood。WhenIheardaboutthatlastfall,——aboutthekillingofthosecattlethieves,——Ikeptsayingtomyself:’Hehadtodoit。Itwasapublicduty。’AndlyingsleeplessIgotusedtoWyomingbeingdifferentfromVermont。Butthis——“shegaveashudder——“whenI thinkofto-morrow,ofyouandme,andof——Ifyoudothis,therecanbenoto-morrowforyouandme。“ Atthesewordshealsoturnedwhite。 “Doyoumean——“heasked,andcouldgonofarther。 Norcouldsheanswerhim,butturnedherheadaway。 “Thiswouldbetheend?“heasked。 Herheadfaintlymovedtosignifyyes。 Hestoodstill,hishandshakingalittle。“Willyoulookatmeandsaythat?“hemurmuredatlength。Shedidnotmove。“Canyoudoit?“hesaid。 Hissweetnessmadeherturn,butcouldnotpierceherfrozenresolve。Shegazedathimacrossthegreatdistanceofherdespair。 “Thenitisreallyso?“hesaid。 Herlipstriedtoformwords,butfailed。 Helookedoutofthewindow,andsawnothingbutshadow。Theblueofthemountainswasnowbecomeadeeppurple。Suddenlyhishandclosedhard。 “Good-by,then,“hesaid。 Atthatwordshewasathisfeet,clutchinghim。“Formysake,“ shebeggedhim。“Formysake。“ Atremblepassedthroughhisframe。Shefelthislegsshakeassheheldthem,and,lookingup,shesawthathiseyeswereclosedwithmisery。Thenheopenedthem,andintheirsteadylookshereadheranswer。Heunclaspedherhandsfromholdinghim,andraisedhertoherfeet。 “Ihavenorighttokissyouanymore,“hesaid。Andthen,beforehisdesirecouldbreakhimdownfromthis,hewasgone,andshewasalone。 Shedidnotfall,ortotter,butstoodmotionless。Andnext——itseemedamomentanditseemedeternity——sheheardinthedistanceashot,andthentwoshots。Outofthewindowshesawpeoplebeginningtorun。Atthatsheturnedandfledtoherroom,andflungherselffacedownwarduponthefloor。 Trampashaddepartedintosolitudefromthesaloon,leavingbehindhimhisULTIMATUM。Hisloudandpublicthreatwastownknowledgealready,wouldverylikelybecountyknowledgeto-night。Riderswouldtakeitwiththemtoentertaindistantcabinsuptheriveranddowntheriver;andbydarkthestagewouldgosouthwiththenewsofit——andthenewsofitsoutcome。 Foreverythingwouldbeoverbydark。Afterfiveyears,herewastheendcoming——comingbeforedark。Trampashadgotupthismorningwithnosuchthought。Itseemedverystrangetolookbackuponthemorning;itlaysodistant,soirrevocable。Andhethoughtofhowhehadeatenhisbreakfast。Howwouldheeathissupper?Forsupperwouldcomeafterward。Somepeoplewereeatingtheirsnow,withnothinglikethisbeforethem。Hisheartachedandgrewcoldtothinkofthem,easyandcomfortablewithplatesandcupsofcoffee。 Helookedatthemountains,andsawthesunabovetheirridges,andtheshadowcomingfromtheirfeet。Andthereclosebehindhimwasthemorninghecouldnevergobackto。Hecouldseeitclearly;histhoughtsreachedoutlikearmstotouchitoncemore,andbeinitagain。Thenightthatwascominghecouldnotsee,andhiseyesandhisthoughtsshrankfromit。Hehadgivenhisenemyuntilsundown。Hecouldnottracethepathwhichhadledhimtothis。Herememberedtheirfirstmeeting——fiveyearsback,inMedicineBow,andthewordswhichatoncebeganhishate。No,itwasbeforeanywords;itwastheencounteroftheireyes。Foroutoftheeyesofeverystrangerlookseitherafriendoranenemy,waitingtobeknown。Buthowhadfiveyearsofhatecometoplayhimsuchatrick,suddenly,today?Sincelastautumnhehadmeantsometimetogetevenwiththismanwhoseemedtostandateveryturnofhiscrookedness,androbhimofhisspoils。Buthowhadhecometochoosesuchawayofgettingevenasthis,facetoface?Heknewmanybetterways;andnowhisownrashproclamationhadtrappedhim。Hiswordswerelikedoorsshuttinghimintoperformhisthreattotheletter,withwitnessesathandtoseethathedidso。 Trampaslookedatthesunandtheshadowagain。Hehadtillsundown。Theheartinsidehimwasturningitroundinthisoppositeway:itwastoHIMSELFthatinhisragehehadgiventhislesseningmarginofgrace。Buthedarednotleavetowninalltheworld’ssightafteralltheworldhadheardhim。Evenhisfriendswouldfallfromhimaftersuchanact。Couldhe——thethoughtactuallycametohim——couldhestrikebeforethetimeset?Butthethoughtwasuseless。Evenifhisfriendscouldharborhimaftersuchadeed,hisenemieswouldfindhim,andhislifewouldbeforfeittoacertainty。Hisowntrapwasclosinguponhim。 Hecameuponthemainstreet,andsawsomedistanceofftheVirginianstandingintalkwiththebishop。Heslunkbetweentwohouses,andcursedbothofthem。Thesighthadbeengoodforhim,bringingsomewarmthofragebacktohisdesperateheart。Andhewentintoaplaceanddranksomewhiskey。 “Inyourshoes,“saidthebarkeeper,“I’dbeafraidtotakesomuch。“ ButthenervesofTrampaswerealmostbeyondthereachofintoxication,andheswallowedsomemore,andwentoutagain。 Presentlyhefellinwithsomeofhisbrothersincattlestealing,andwalkedalongwiththemforalittle。 “Well,itwillnotbelongnow,“theysaidtohim。Andhehadneverheardwordssodesolate。 “No,“hemadeouttosay;“soonnow。“Theircheerfulnessseemedunearthlytohim,andhisheartalmostbrokebeneathit。 “We’llhaveonetoyoursuccess,“theysuggested。 Sowiththemherepairedtoanotherplace;andthesightofamanleaningagainstthebarmadehimstartsothattheynoticedhim。 Thenhesawthatthemanwasastrangerwhomhehadneverlaideyesontillnow。 “ItlookedlikeShorty,“hesaid,andcouldhavebittenhistongueoff。 “ShortyisquietupintheTetons,“saidafriend。“Youdon’twanttobethinkingabouthim。Here’show!“ Thentheyclappedhimonthebackandheleftthem。Hethoughtofhisenemyandhishate,beatinghisragelikeafailinghorse,andtreadingthecourageofhisdrink。AcrossaspacehesawWiggin,walkingwithMcLeanandScipio。Theywerewatchingthetowntoseethathisfriendsmadenofoulplay。 “We’regivingyouaclearfield,“saidWiggin。