第3章

类别:其他 作者:Virginia Woolf字数:6024更新时间:18/12/27 08:07:33
foroutatSantaMarinaHelenknew,byexperience,thathewouldworkallday;hisboxes,shesaid,werepackedwithbooks。 “Leaveittome——leaveittome!“saidWilloughby,obviouslyintendingtodomuchmorethansheaskedofhim。ButRidleyandMr。Pepperwereheardfumblingatthedoor。 “Howareyou,Vinrace?“saidRidley,extendingalimphandashecamein,asthoughthemeetingweremelancholytoboth,butonthewholemoresotohim。 Willoughbypreservedhisheartiness,temperedbyrespect。 Forthemomentnothingwassaid。 “Welookedinandsawyoulaughing,“Helenremarked。“Mr。Pepperhadjusttoldaverygoodstory。“ “Pish。Noneofthestoriesweregood,“saidherhusbandpeevishly。 “Stillaseverejudge,Ridley?“enquiredMr。Vinrace。 “Weboredyousothatyouleft,“saidRidley,speakingdirectlytohiswife。 AsthiswasquitetrueHelendidnotattempttodenyit,andhernextremark,“Butdidn’ttheyimproveafterwe’dgone?“ wasunfortunate,forherhusbandansweredwithadroopofhisshoulders,“Ifpossibletheygotworse。“ Thesituationwasnowoneofconsiderablediscomfortforeveryoneconcerned,aswasprovedbyalongintervalofconstraintandsilence。Mr。Pepper,indeed,createdadiversionofakindbyleapingontohisseat,bothfeettuckedunderhim,withtheactionofaspinsterwhodetectsamouse,asthedraughtstruckathisankles。Drawnupthere,suckingathiscigar,withhisarmsencirclinghisknees,helookedliketheimageofBuddha,andfromthiselevationbeganadiscourse,addressedtonobody,fornobodyhadcalledforit,upontheunplumbeddepthsofocean。 HeprofessedhimselfsurprisedtolearnthatalthoughMr。Vinracepossessedtenships,regularlyplyingbetweenLondonandBuenosAires,notoneofthemwasbiddentoinvestigatethegreatwhitemonstersofthelowerwaters。 “No,no,“laughedWilloughby,“themonstersoftheeartharetoomanyforme!“ Rachelwasheardtosigh,“Poorlittlegoats!“ “Ifitweren’tforthegoatsthere’dbenomusic,mydear; musicdependsupongoats,“saidherfatherrathersharply,andMr。Pepperwentontodescribethewhite,hairless,blindmonsterslyingcurledontheridgesofsandatthebottomofthesea,whichwouldexplodeifyoubroughtthemtothesurface,theirsidesburstingasunderandscatteringentrailstothewindswhenreleasedfrompressure,withconsiderabledetailandwithsuchshowofknowledge,thatRidleywasdisgusted,andbeggedhimtostop。 FromallthisHelendrewherownconclusions,whichweregloomyenough。 Pepperwasabore;Rachelwasanunlickedgirl,nodoubtprolificofconfidences,theveryfirstofwhichwouldbe:“Yousee,Idon’tgetonwithmyfather。“Willoughby,asusual,lovedhisbusinessandbuilthisEmpire,andbetweenthemallshewouldbeconsiderablybored。Beingawomanofaction,however,sherose,andsaidthatforherpartshewasgoingtobed。AtthedoorsheglancedbackinstinctivelyatRachel,expectingthatastwoofthesamesextheywouldleavetheroomtogether。Rachelrose,lookedvaguelyintoHelen’sface,andremarkedwithherslightstammer,“I’mgoingouttot-t-triumphinthewind。“ Mrs。Ambrose’sworstsuspicionswereconfirmed;shewentdownthepassagelurchingfromsidetoside,andfendingoffthewallnowwithherrightarm,nowwithherleft;ateachlurchsheexclaimedemphatically,“Damn!“ Uncomfortableasthenight,withitsrockingmovement,andsaltsmells,mayhavebeen,andinonecaseundoubtedlywas,forMr。Pepperhadinsufficientclothesuponhisbed,thebreakfastnextmorningworeakindofbeauty。Thevoyagehadbegun,andhadbegunhappilywithasoftbluesky,andacalmsea。 Thesenseofuntappedresources,thingstosayasyetunsaid,madethehoursignificant,sothatinfutureyearstheentirejourneyperhapswouldberepresentedbythisonescene,withthesoundofsirenshootingintheriverthenightbefore,somehowmixingin。 Thetablewascheerfulwithapplesandbreadandeggs。HelenhandedWilloughbythebutter,andasshedidsocasthereyeonhimandreflected,“Andshemarriedyou,andshewashappy,Isuppose。“ Shewentoffonafamiliartrainofthought,leadingontoallkindsofwell-knownreflections,fromtheoldwonder,whyTheresahadmarriedWilloughby? “Ofcourse,oneseesallthat,“shethought,meaningthatoneseesthatheisbigandburly,andhasagreatboomingvoice,andafistandawillofhisown;“but——“heresheslippedintoafineanalysisofhimwhichisbestrepresentedbyoneword,“sentimental,“bywhichshemeantthathewasneversimpleandhonestabouthisfeelings。 Forexample,heseldomspokeofthedead,butkeptanniversarieswithsingularpomp。Shesuspectedhimofnamelessatrocitieswithregardtohisdaughter,asindeedshehadalwayssuspectedhimofbullyinghiswife。Naturallyshefelltocomparingherownfortuneswiththefortunesofherfriend,forWilloughby’swifehadbeenperhapstheonewomanHelencalledfriend,andthiscomparisonoftenmadethestapleoftheirtalk。Ridleywasascholar,andWilloughbywasamanofbusiness。RidleywasbringingoutthethirdvolumeofPindarwhenWilloughbywaslaunchinghisfirstship。 TheybuiltanewfactorytheveryyearthecommentaryonAristotle—— wasit?——appearedattheUniversityPress。“AndRachel,“shelookedather,meaning,nodoubt,todecidetheargument,whichwasotherwisetooevenlybalanced,bydeclaringthatRachelwasnotcomparabletoherownchildren。“Shereallymightbesixyearsold,“ wasallshesaid,however,thisjudgmentreferringtothesmoothunmarkedoutlineofthegirl’sface,andnotcondemningherotherwise,forifRachelwereevertothink,feel,laugh,orexpressherself,insteadofdroppingmilkfromaheightasthoughtoseewhatkindofdropsitmade,shemightbeinterestingthoughneverexactlypretty。 Shewaslikehermother,astheimageinapoolonastillsummer’sdayislikethevividflushedfacethathangsoverit。 MeanwhileHelenherselfwasunderexamination,thoughnotfromeitherofhervictims。Mr。Pepperconsideredher;andhismeditations,carriedonwhilehecuthistoastintobarsandneatlybutteredthem,tookhimthroughaconsiderablestretchofautobiography。OneofhispenetratingglancesassuredhimthathewasrightlastnightinjudgingthatHelenwasbeautiful。Blandlyhepassedherthejam。 Shewastalkingnonsense,butnotworsenonsensethanpeopleusuallydotalkatbreakfast,thecerebralcirculation,asheknewtohiscost,beingapttogivetroubleatthathour。Hewentonsaying“No“toher,onprinciple,forheneveryieldedtoawomanonaccountofhersex。 Andhere,droppinghiseyestohisplate,hebecameautobiographical。 Hehadnotmarriedhimselfforthesufficientreasonthathehadnevermetawomanwhocommandedhisrespect。CondemnedtopassthesusceptibleyearsofyouthinarailwaystationinBombay,hehadseenonlycolouredwomen,militarywomen,officialwomen; andhisidealwasawomanwhocouldreadGreek,ifnotPersian,wasirreproachablyfairintheface,andabletounderstandthesmallthingsheletfallwhileundressing。Asitwashehadcontractedhabitsofwhichhewasnotintheleastashamed。 Certainoddminuteseverydaywenttolearningthingsbyheart; henevertookaticketwithoutnotingthenumber;hedevotedJanuarytoPetronius,FebruarytoCatullus,MarchtotheEtruscanvasesperhaps;anyhowhehaddonegoodworkinIndia,andtherewasnothingtoregretinhislifeexceptthefundamentaldefectswhichnowisemanregrets,whenthepresentisstillhis。 Soconcludinghelookedupsuddenlyandsmiled。Rachelcaughthiseye。 “Andnowyou’vechewedsomethingthirty-seventimes,Isuppose?“ shethought,butsaidpolitelyaloud,“Areyourlegstroublingyouto-day,Mr。Pepper?“ “Myshoulderblades?“heasked,shiftingthempainfully。 “BeautyhasnoeffectuponuricacidthatI’mawareof,“hesighed,contemplatingtheroundpaneopposite,throughwhichtheskyandseashowedblue。Atthesametimehetookalittleparchmentvolumefromhispocketandlaiditonthetable。Asitwasclearthatheinvitedcomment,Helenaskedhimthenameofit。Shegotthename; butshegotalsoadisquisitionuponthepropermethodofmakingroads。 BeginningwiththeGreeks,whohad,hesaid,manydifficultiestocontendwith,hecontinuedwiththeRomans,passedtoEnglandandtherightmethod,whichspeedilybecamethewrongmethod,andwoundupwithsuchafuryofdenunciationdirectedagainsttheroad-makersofthepresentdayingeneral,andtheroad-makersofRichmondParkinparticular,whereMr。Pepperhadthehabitofcyclingeverymorningbeforebreakfast,thatthespoonsfairlyjingledagainstthecoffeecups,andtheinsidesofatleastfourrollsmountedinaheapbesideMr。Pepper’splate。 “Pebbles!“heconcluded,viciouslydroppinganotherbreadpelletupontheheap。“TheroadsofEnglandaremendedwithpebbles! ’Withthefirstheavyrainfall,’I’vetold’em,’yourroadwillbeaswamp。’Againandagainmywordshaveprovedtrue。 Butd’yousupposetheylistentomewhenItell’emso,whenI pointouttheconsequences,theconsequencestothepublicpurse,whenIrecommend’emtoreadCoryphaeus?No,Mrs。Ambrose,youwillformnojustopinionofthestupidityofmankinduntilyouhavesatuponaBoroughCouncil!“Thelittlemanfixedherwithaglanceofferociousenergy。 “Ihavehadservants,“saidMrs。Ambrose,concentratinghergaze。 “AtthismomentIhaveanurse。She’sagoodwomanastheygo,butshe’sdeterminedtomakemychildrenpray。Sofar,owingtogreatcareonmypart,theythinkofGodasakindofwalrus; butnowthatmyback’sturned——Ridley,“shedemanded,swingingrounduponherhusband,“whatshallwedoifwefindthemsayingtheLord’sPrayerwhenwegethomeagain?“ Ridleymadethesoundwhichisrepresentedby“Tush。“ButWilloughby,whosediscomfortashelistenedwasmanifestedbyaslightmovementrockingofhisbody,saidawkwardly,“Oh,surely,Helen,alittlereligionhurtsnobody。“ “Iwouldrathermychildrentoldlies,“shereplied,andwhileWilloughbywasreflectingthathissister-in-lawwasevenmoreeccentricthanheremembered,pushedherchairbackandsweptupstairs。 Inasecondtheyheardhercallingback,“Oh,look!We’reoutatsea!“ Theyfollowedherontothedeck。Allthesmokeandthehouseshaddisappeared,andtheshipwasoutinawidespaceofseaveryfreshandclearthoughpaleintheearlylight。TheyhadleftLondonsittingonitsmud。Averythinlineofshadowtaperedonthehorizon,scarcelythickenoughtostandtheburdenofParis,whichneverthelessresteduponit。Theywerefreeofroads,freeofmankind,andthesameexhilarationattheirfreedomranthroughthemall。Theshipwasmakingherwaysteadilythroughsmallwaveswhichslappedherandthenfizzledlikeeffervescingwater,leavingalittleborderofbubblesandfoamoneitherside。 ThecolourlessOctoberskyabovewasthinlycloudedasifbythetrailofwood-firesmoke,andtheairwaswonderfullysaltandbrisk。 Indeeditwastoocoldtostandstill。Mrs。Ambrosedrewherarmwithinherhusband’s,andastheymovedoffitcouldbeseenfromthewayinwhichherslopingcheekturneduptohisthatshehadsomethingprivatetocommunicate。TheywentafewpacesandRachelsawthemkiss。 Downshelookedintothedepthofthesea。Whileitwasslightlydisturbedonthesurfacebythepassageofthe_Euphrosyne_,beneathitwasgreenanddim,anditgrewdimmeranddimmeruntilthesandatthebottomwasonlyapaleblur。Onecouldscarcelyseetheblackribsofwreckedships,orthespiraltowersmadebytheburrowingsofgreateels,orthesmoothgreen-sidedmonsterswhocamebyflickeringthiswayandthat—— “And,Rachel,ifanyonewantsme,I’mbusytillone,“saidherfather,enforcinghiswordsasheoftendid,whenhespoketohisdaughter,byasmartblowupontheshoulder。 “Untilone,“herepeated。“Andyou’llfindyourselfsomeemployment,eh?Scales,French,alittleGerman,eh?There’sMr。PepperwhoknowsmoreaboutseparableverbsthananymaninEurope,eh?“andhewentofflaughing。Rachellaughed,too,asindeedshehadlaughedeversinceshecouldremember,withoutthinkingitfunny,butbecausesheadmiredherfather。 Butjustasshewasturningwithaviewperhapstofindingsomeemployment,shewasinterceptedbyawomanwhowassobroadandsothickthattobeinterceptedbyherwasinevitable。 Thediscreettentativewayinwhichshemoved,togetherwithhersoberblackdress,showedthatshebelongedtothelowerorders; neverthelessshetookuparock-likeposition,lookingabouthertoseethatnogentrywerenearbeforeshedeliveredhermessage,whichhadreferencetothestateofthesheets,andwasoftheutmostgravity。 “Howeverwe’retogetthroughthisvoyage,MissRachel,Ireallycan’ttell,“shebeganwithashakeofherhead。“There’sonlyjustsheetsenoughtogoround,andthemaster’shasarottenplaceyoucouldputyourfingersthrough。Andthecounterpanes。Didyounoticethecounterpanes?Ithoughttomyselfapoorpersonwouldhavebeenashamedofthem。TheoneIgaveMr。Pepperwashardlyfittocoveradog……No,MissRachel,theycould_not_bemended; they’reonlyfitfordustsheets。Why,ifonesewedone’sfingertothebone,onewouldhaveone’sworkundonethenexttimetheywenttothelaundry。“ Hervoiceinitsindignationwaveredasiftearswerenear。 Therewasnothingforitbuttodescendandinspectalargepileoflinenheapeduponatable。Mrs。Chaileyhandledthesheetsasifshekneweachbyname,character,andconstitution。Somehadyellowstains,othershadplaceswherethethreadsmadelongladders; buttotheordinaryeyetheylookedmuchassheetsusuallydolook,verychill,white,cold,andirreproachablyclean。