第4章

类别:其他 作者:Virginia Woolf字数:5648更新时间:18/12/27 08:07:33
SuddenlyMrs。Chailey,turningfromthesubjectofsheets,dismissingthementirely,clenchedherfistsonthetopofthem,andproclaimed,“Andyoucouldn’taskalivingcreaturetositwhereIsit!“ Mrs。Chaileywasexpectedtositinacabinwhichwaslargeenough,buttooneartheboilers,sothatafterfiveminutesshecouldhearherheart“go,“shecomplained,puttingherhandaboveit,whichwasastateofthingsthatMrs。Vinrace,Rachel’smother,wouldneverhavedreamtofinflicting——Mrs。Vinrace,whokneweverysheetinherhouse,andexpectedofeveryonethebesttheycoulddo,butnomore。 Itwastheeasiestthingintheworldtograntanotherroom,andtheproblemofsheetssimultaneouslyandmiraculouslysolveditself,thespotsandladdersnotbeingpastcureafterall,but—— “Lies!Lies!Lies!“exclaimedthemistressindignantly,assheranupontothedeck。“What’stheuseoftellingmelies?“ Inherangerthatawomanoffiftyshouldbehavelikeachildandcomecringingtoagirlbecauseshewantedtositwhereshehadnotleavetosit,shedidnotthinkoftheparticularcase,and,unpackinghermusic,soonforgotallabouttheoldwomanandhersheets。 Mrs。Chaileyfoldedhersheets,butherexpressiontestifiedtoflatnesswithin。Theworldnolongercaredabouther,andashipwasnotahome。Whenthelampswerelityesterday,andthesailorswenttumblingaboveherhead,shehadcried;shewouldcrythisevening;shewouldcryto-morrow。Itwasnothome。Meanwhileshearrangedherornamentsintheroomwhichshehadwontooeasily。 Theywerestrangeornamentstobringonaseavoyage——chinapugs,tea-setsinminiature,cupsstampedfloridlywiththearmsofthecityofBristol,hair-pinboxescrustedwithshamrock,antelopes’headsincolouredplaster,togetherwithamultitudeoftinyphotographs,representingdownrightworkmenintheirSundaybest,andwomenholdingwhitebabies。Buttherewasoneportraitinagiltframe,forwhichanailwasneeded,andbeforeshesoughtitMrs。Chaileyputonherspectaclesandreadwhatwaswrittenonaslipofpaperattheback: “ThispictureofhermistressisgiventoEmmaChaileybyWilloughbyVinraceingratitudeforthirtyyearsofdevotedservice。“ Tearsobliteratedthewordsandtheheadofthenail。 “SolongasIcandosomethingforyourfamily,“shewassaying,asshehammeredatit,whenavoicecalledmelodiouslyinthepassage: “Mrs。Chailey!Mrs。Chailey!“ Chaileyinstantlytidiedherdress,composedherface,andopenedthedoor。 “I’minafix,“saidMrs。Ambrose,whowasflushedandoutofbreath。 “Youknowwhatgentlemenare。Thechairstoohigh——thetablestoolow——there’ssixinchesbetweenthefloorandthedoor。 WhatIwant’sahammer,anoldquilt,andhaveyousuchathingasakitchentable?Anyhow,betweenus“——shenowflungopenthedoorofherhusband’ssittingroom,andrevealedRidleypacingupanddown,hisforeheadallwrinkled,andthecollarofhiscoatturnedup。 “It’sasthoughthey’dtakenpainstotormentme!“hecried,stoppingdead。“DidIcomeonthisvoyageinordertocatchrheumatismandpneumonia?ReallyonemighthavecreditedVinracewithmoresense。Mydear,“Helenwasonherkneesunderatable,“youareonlymakingyourselfuntidy,andwehadmuchbetterrecognisethefactthatwearecondemnedtosixweeksofunspeakablemisery。 Tocomeatallwastheheightoffolly,butnowthatwearehereI supposethatIcanfaceitlikeaman。Mydiseasesofcoursewillbeincreased——IfeelalreadyworsethanIdidyesterday,butwe’veonlyourselvestothank,andthechildrenhappily——“ “Move!Move!Move!“criedHelen,chasinghimfromcornertocornerwithachairasthoughhewereanerranthen。 “Outoftheway,Ridley,andinhalfanhouryou’llfinditready。“ Sheturnedhimoutoftheroom,andtheycouldhearhimgroaningandswearingashewentalongthepassage。 “Idaresayheisn’tverystrong,“saidMrs。Chailey,lookingatMrs。Ambrosecompassionately,asshehelpedtoshiftandcarry。 “It’sbooks,“sighedHelen,liftinganarmfulofsadvolumesfromthefloortotheshelf。“Greekfrommorningtonight。 IfeverMissRachelmarries,Chailey,praythatshemaymarryamanwhodoesn’tknowhisABC。“ Thepreliminarydiscomfortsandharshnesses,whichgenerallymakethefirstdaysofaseavoyagesocheerlessandtryingtothetemper,beingsomehowlivedthrough,thesucceedingdayspassedpleasantlyenough。 Octoberwaswelladvanced,butsteadilyburningwithawarmththatmadetheearlymonthsofthesummerappearveryyoungandcapricious。 Greattractsoftheearthlaynowbeneaththeautumnsun,andthewholeofEngland,fromthebaldmoorstotheCornishrocks,waslitupfromdawntosunset,andshowedinstretchesofyellow,green,andpurple。 Underthatilluminationeventheroofsofthegreattownsglittered。 Inthousandsofsmallgardens,millionsofdark-redflowerswereblooming,untiltheoldladieswhohadtendedthemsocarefullycamedownthepathswiththeirscissors,snippedthroughtheirjuicystalks,andlaidthemuponcoldstoneledgesinthevillagechurch。 Innumerablepartiesofpicnickerscominghomeatsunsetcried,“Wasthereeversuchadayasthis?““It’syou,“theyoungmenwhispered; “Oh,it’syou,“theyoungwomenreplied。Alloldpeopleandmanysickpeopleweredrawn,wereitonlyforafootortwo,intotheopenair,andprognosticatedpleasantthingsaboutthecourseoftheworld。 Asfortheconfidencesandexpressionsoflovethatwereheardnotonlyincornfieldsbutinlamplitrooms,wherethewindowsopenedonthegarden,andmenwithcigarskissedwomenwithgreyhairs,theywerenottobecounted。Somesaidthattheskywasanemblemofthelifetocome。Long-tailedbirdsclatteredandscreamed,andcrossedfromwoodtowood,withgoldeneyesintheirplumage。 Butwhileallthiswentonbyland,veryfewpeoplethoughtaboutthesea。Theytookitforgrantedthattheseawascalm; andtherewasnoneed,asthereisinmanyhouseswhenthecreepertapsonthebedroomwindows,forthecouplestomurmurbeforetheykiss,“Thinkoftheshipsto-night,“or“ThankHeaven,I’mnotthemaninthelighthouse!“Foralltheyimagined,theshipswhentheyvanishedonthesky-linedissolved,likesnowinwater。 Thegrown-upview,indeed,wasnotmuchclearerthantheviewofthelittlecreaturesinbathingdrawerswhoweretrottingintothefoamallalongthecoastsofEngland,andscoopingupbucketsfullofwater。Theysawwhitesailsortuftsofsmokepassacrossthehorizon,andifyouhadsaidthatthesewerewaterspouts,orthepetalsofwhiteseaflowers,theywouldhaveagreed。 Thepeopleinships,however,tookanequallysingularviewofEngland。 Notonlydiditappeartothemtobeanisland,andaverysmallisland,butitwasashrinkingislandinwhichpeoplewereimprisoned。 Onefiguredthemfirstswarmingaboutlikeaimlessants,andalmostpressingeachotherovertheedge;andthen,astheshipwithdrew,onefiguredthemmakingavainclamour,which,beingunheard,eitherceased,orroseintoabrawl。Finally,whentheshipwasoutofsightofland,itbecameplainthatthepeopleofEnglandwerecompletelymute。Thediseaseattackedotherpartsoftheearth; Europeshrank,Asiashrank,AfricaandAmericashrank,untilitseemeddoubtfulwhethertheshipwouldeverrunagainstanyofthosewrinkledlittlerocksagain。But,ontheotherhand,animmensedignityhaddescendeduponher;shewasaninhabitantofthegreatworld,whichhassofewinhabitants,travellingalldayacrossanemptyuniverse,withveilsdrawnbeforeherandbehind。Shewasmorelonelythanthecaravancrossingthedesert;shewasinfinitelymoremysterious,movingbyherownpowerandsustainedbyherownresources。Theseamightgiveherdeathorsomeunexampledjoy,andnonewouldknowofit。 Shewasabridegoingforthtoherhusband,avirginunknownofmen; inhervigorandpurityshemightbelikenedtoallbeautifulthings,forasashipshehadalifeofherown。 Indeediftheyhadnotbeenblessedintheirweather,onebluedaybeingbowledupafteranother,smooth,round,andflawless。 Mrs。Ambrosewouldhavefounditverydull。Asitwas,shehadherembroideryframesetupondeck,withalittletablebyhersideonwhichlayopenablackvolumeofphilosophy。Shechoseathreadfromthevari-colouredtanglethatlayinherlap,andsewedredintothebarkofatree,oryellowintotherivertorrent。 Shewasworkingatagreatdesignofatropicalriverrunningthroughatropicalforest,wherespotteddeerwouldeventuallybrowseuponmassesoffruit,bananas,oranges,andgiantpomegranates,whileatroopofnakednativeswhirleddartsintotheair。 BetweenthestitchesshelookedtoonesideandreadasentenceabouttheRealityofMatter,ortheNatureofGood。Roundhermeninbluejerseyskneltandscrubbedtheboards,orleantovertherailsandwhistled,andnotfaroffMr。Peppersatcuttinguprootswithapenknife。Therestwereoccupiedinotherpartsoftheship: RidleyathisGreek——hehadneverfoundquartersmoretohisliking; Willoughbyathisdocuments,forheusedavoyagetoworkofarrearsofbusiness;andRachel——Helen,betweenhersentencesofphilosophy,wonderedsometimeswhatRachel_did_dowithherself?Shemeantvaguelytogoandsee。Theyhadscarcelyspokentwowordstoeachothersincethatfirstevening;theywerepolitewhentheymet,buttherehadbeennoconfidenceofanykind。Rachelseemedtogetonverywellwithherfather——muchbetter,Helenthought,thansheoughtto——andwasasreadytoletHelenaloneasHelenwastoletheralone。 AtthatmomentRachelwassittinginherroomdoingabsolutelynothing。 Whentheshipwasfullthisapartmentboresomemagnificenttitleandwastheresortofelderlysea-sickladieswholeftthedecktotheiryoungsters。Byvirtueofthepiano,andamessofbooksonthefloor,Rachelconsidereditherroom,andthereshewouldsitforhoursplayingverydifficultmusic,readingalittleGerman,oralittleEnglishwhenthemoodtookher,anddoing——asatthismoment—— absolutelynothing。 Thewayshehadbeeneducated,joinedtoafinenaturalindolence,wasofcoursepartlythereasonofit,forshehadbeeneducatedasthemajorityofwell-to-dogirlsinthelastpartofthenineteenthcenturywereeducated。Kindlydoctorsandgentleoldprofessorshadtaughthertherudimentsofabouttendifferentbranchesofknowledge,buttheywouldassoonhaveforcedhertogothroughonepieceofdrudgerythoroughlyastheywouldhavetoldherthatherhandsweredirty。 Theonehourorthetwohoursweeklypassedverypleasantly,partlyowingtotheotherpupils,partlytothefactthatthewindowlookeduponthebackofashop,wherefiguresappearedagainsttheredwindowsinwinter,partlytotheaccidentsthatareboundtohappenwhenmorethantwopeopleareinthesameroomtogether。 Buttherewasnosubjectintheworldwhichsheknewaccurately。 Hermindwasinthestateofanintelligentman’sinthebeginningofthereignofQueenElizabeth;shewouldbelievepracticallyanythingshewastold,inventreasonsforanythingshesaid。 Theshapeoftheearth,thehistoryoftheworld,howtrainsworked,ormoneywasinvested,whatlawswereinforce,whichpeoplewantedwhat,andwhytheywantedit,themostelementaryideaofasysteminmodernlife——noneofthishadbeenimpartedtoherbyanyofherprofessorsormistresses。Butthissystemofeducationhadonegreatadvantage。Itdidnotteachanything,butitputnoobstacleinthewayofanyrealtalentthatthepupilmightchancetohave。 Rachel,beingmusical,wasallowedtolearnnothingbutmusic; shebecameafanaticaboutmusic。Alltheenergiesthatmighthavegoneintolanguages,science,orliterature,thatmighthavemadeherfriends,orshownhertheworld,pouredstraightintomusic。 Findingherteachersinadequate,shehadpracticallytaughtherself。 Attheageoftwenty-foursheknewasmuchaboutmusicasmostpeopledowhentheyarethirty;andcouldplayaswellasnatureallowedherto,which,asbecamedailymoreobvious,wasareallygenerousallowance。Ifthisonedefinitegiftwassurroundedbydreamsandideasofthemostextravagantandfoolishdescription,noonewasanythewiser。 Hereducationbeingthusordinary,hercircumstanceswerenomoreoutofthecommon。Shewasanonlychildandhadneverbeenbulliedandlaughedatbybrothersandsisters。Hermotherhavingdiedwhenshewaseleven,twoaunts,thesistersofherfather,broughtherup,andtheylivedforthesakeoftheairinacomfortablehouseinRichmond。Shewasofcoursebroughtupwithexcessivecare,whichasachildwasforherhealth;asagirlandayoungwomanwasforwhatitseemsalmostcrudetocallhermorals。 Untilquitelatelyshehadbeencompletelyignorantthatforwomensuchthingsexisted。Shegropedforknowledgeinoldbooks,andfounditinrepulsivechunks,butshedidnotnaturallycareforbooksandthusnevertroubledherheadaboutthecensorshipwhichwasexercisedfirstbyheraunts,laterbyherfather。