Heclaspedhisforeheadinhishands。
“Youtemptme，“hesaid。Thetoneofhisvoicewasterrifying。
Heseemedchokedinfright。Theywerebothtrembling。
Rachelstoodupandwent。Herheadwascold，herkneesshaking，andthephysicalpainoftheemotionwassogreatthatshecouldonlykeepherselfmovingabovethegreatleapsofherheart。
Sheleantupontherailoftheship，andgraduallyceasedtofeel，forachillofbodyandmindcreptoverher。Faroutbetweenthewaveslittleblackandwhitesea-birdswereriding。Risingandfallingwithsmoothandgracefulmovementsinthehollowsofthewavestheyseemedsingularlydetachedandunconcerned。
“You’repeaceful，“shesaid。Shebecamepeacefultoo，atthesametimepossessedwithastrangeexultation。Lifeseemedtoholdinfinitepossibilitiesshehadneverguessedat。Sheleantupontherailandlookedoverthetroubledgreywaters，wherethesunlightwasfitfullyscattereduponthecrestsofthewaves，untilshewascoldandabsolutelycalmagain。Neverthelesssomethingwonderfulhadhappened。
Atdinner，however，shedidnotfeelexalted，butmerelyuncomfortable，asifsheandRichardhadseensomethingtogetherwhichishiddeninordinarylife，sothattheydidnotliketolookateachother。
Richardslidhiseyesoverheruneasilyonce，andneverlookedatheragain。Formalplatitudesweremanufacturedwitheffort，butWilloughbywaskindled。
“BeefforMr。Dalloway！“heshouted。“Comenow——afterthatwalkyou’reatthebeefstage，Dalloway！“
WonderfulmasculinestoriesfollowedaboutBrightandDisraeliandcoalitiongovernments，wonderfulstorieswhichmadethepeopleatthedinner-tableseemfeaturelessandsmall。Afterdinner，sittingalonewithRachelunderthegreatswinginglamp，Helenwasstruckbyherpallor。Itoncemoreoccurredtoherthattherewassomethingstrangeinthegirl’sbehaviour。
“Youlooktired。Areyoutired？“sheasked。
“Nottired，“saidRachel。“Oh，yes，IsupposeIamtired。“
Helenadvisedbed，andshewent，notseeingRichardagain。
Shemusthavebeenverytiredforshefellasleepatonce，butafteranhourortwoofdreamlesssleep，shedreamt。Shedreamtthatshewaswalkingdownalongtunnel，whichgrewsonarrowbydegreesthatshecouldtouchthedampbricksoneitherside。
Atlengththetunnelopenedandbecameavault；shefoundherselftrappedinit，bricksmeetingherwhereversheturned，alonewithalittledeformedmanwhosquattedonthefloorgibbering，withlongnails。Hisfacewaspittedandlikethefaceofananimal。
Thewallbehindhimoozedwithdamp，whichcollectedintodropsandsliddown。Stillandcoldasdeathshelay，notdaringtomove，untilshebroketheagonybytossingherselfacrossthebed，andwokecrying“Oh！“
Lightshowedherthefamiliarthings:herclothes，fallenoffthechair；thewaterjuggleamingwhite；butthehorrordidnotgoatonce。Shefeltherselfpursued，sothatshegotupandactuallylockedherdoor。Avoicemoanedforher；eyesdesiredher。
Allnightlongbarbarianmenharassedtheship；theycamescufflingdownthepassages，andstoppedtosnuffleatherdoor。Shecouldnotsleepagain。
“That’sthetragedyoflife——asIalwayssay！“saidMrs。Dalloway。
“Beginningthingsandhavingtoendthem。Still，I’mnotgoingtolet_this_end，ifyou’rewilling。“Itwasthemorning，theseawascalm，andtheshiponceagainwasanchorednotfarfromanothershore。
Shewasdressedinherlongfurcloak，withtheveilswoundaroundherhead，andoncemoretherichboxesstoodontopofeachothersothatthesceneofafewdaysbackseemedtoberepeated。
“D’yousupposeweshallevermeetinLondon？“saidRidleyironically。
“You’llhaveforgottenallaboutmebythetimeyoustepoutthere。“
Hepointedtotheshoreofthelittlebay，wheretheycouldnowseetheseparatetreeswithmovingbranches。
“Howhorridyouare！“shelaughed。“Rachel’scomingtoseemeanyhow——
theinstantyougetback，“shesaid，pressingRachel’sarm。
“Now——you’venoexcuse！“
Withasilverpencilshewrotehernameandaddressontheflyleafof_Persuasion_，andgavethebooktoRachel。Sailorswereshoulderingtheluggage，andpeoplewerebeginningtocongregate。
TherewereCaptainCobbold，Mr。Grice，Willoughby，Helen，andanobscuregratefulmaninabluejersey。
“Oh，it’stime，“saidClarissa。“Well，good-bye。I_do_likeyou，“
shemurmuredasshekissedRachel。PeopleinthewaymadeitunnecessaryforRichardtoshakeRachelbythehand；hemanagedtolookatherverystifflyforasecondbeforehefollowedhiswifedowntheship’sside。
Theboatseparatingfromthevesselmadeofftowardstheland，andforsomeminutesHelen，Ridley，andRachelleantovertherail，watching。OnceMrs。Dallowayturnedandwaved；
buttheboatsteadilygrewsmallerandsmalleruntilitceasedtoriseandfall，andnothingcouldbeseensavetworesolutebacks。
“Well，that’sover，“saidRidleyafteralongsilence。“Weshallneversee_them_again，“headded，turningtogotohisbooks。
Afeelingofemptinessandmelancholycameoverthem；theyknewintheirheartsthatitwasover，andthattheyhadpartedforever，andtheknowledgefilledthemwithfargreaterdepressionthanthelengthoftheiracquaintanceseemedtojustify。EvenastheboatpulledawaytheycouldfeelothersightsandsoundsbeginningtotaketheplaceoftheDalloways，andthefeelingwassounpleasantthattheytriedtoresistit。Forso，too，wouldtheybeforgotten。
InmuchthesamewayasMrs。Chaileydownstairswassweepingthewitheredrose-leavesoffthedressing-table，soHelenwasanxioustomakethingsstraightagainafterthevisitorshadgone。
Rachel’sobviouslanguorandlistlessnessmadeheraneasyprey，andindeedHelenhaddevisedakindoftrap。Thatsomethinghadhappenedshenowfeltprettycertain；moreover，shehadcometothinkthattheyhadbeenstrangerslongenough；shewishedtoknowwhatthegirlwaslike，partlyofcoursebecauseRachelshowednodispositiontobeknown。So，astheyturnedfromtherail，shesaid:
“Comeandtalktomeinsteadofpractising，“andledthewaytotheshelteredsidewherethedeck-chairswerestretchedinthesun。
Rachelfollowedherindifferently。HermindwasabsorbedbyRichard；
bytheextremestrangenessofwhathadhappened，andbyathousandfeelingsofwhichshehadnotbeenconsciousbefore。
ShemadescarcelyanyattempttolistentowhatHelenwassaying，asHelenindulgedincommonplacestobeginwith。WhileMrs。Ambrosearrangedherembroidery，suckedhersilk，andthreadedherneedle，shelaybackgazingatthehorizon。
“Didyoulikethosepeople？“Helenaskedhercasually。
“Yes，“sherepliedblankly。
“Youtalkedtohim，didn’tyou？“
Shesaidnothingforaminute。
“Hekissedme，“shesaidwithoutanychangeoftone。
Helenstarted，lookedather，butcouldnotmakeoutwhatshefelt。
“M-m-m’yes，“shesaid，afterapause。“Ithoughthewasthatkindofman。“
“Whatkindofman？“saidRachel。
“Pompousandsentimental。“
“Ilikehim，“saidRachel。
“Soyoureallydidn’tmind？“
ForthefirsttimesinceHelenhadknownherRachel’seyeslitupbrightly。
“Ididmind，“shesaidvehemently。“Idreamt。Icouldn’tsleep。“
“Tellmewhathappened，“saidHelen。ShehadtokeepherlipsfromtwitchingasshelistenedtoRachel’sstory。Itwaspouredoutabruptlywithgreatseriousnessandnosenseofhumour。
“Wetalkedaboutpolitics。Hetoldmewhathehaddoneforthepoorsomewhere。Iaskedhimallsortsofquestions。Hetoldmeabouthisownlife。Thedaybeforeyesterday，afterthestorm，hecameintoseeme。Ithappenedthen，quitesuddenly。
Hekissedme。Idon’tknowwhy。“Asshespokeshegrewflushed。
“Iwasagooddealexcited，“shecontinued。“ButIdidn’tmindtillafterwards；when——“shepaused，andsawthefigureofthebloatedlittlemanagain——“Ibecameterrified。“
Fromthelookinhereyesitwasevidentshewasagainterrified。
Helenwasreallyatalosswhattosay。FromthelittlesheknewofRachel’supbringingshesupposedthatshehadbeenkeptentirelyignorantastotherelationsofmenwithwomen。Withashynesswhichshefeltwithwomenandnotwithmenshedidnotliketoexplainsimplywhattheseare。Thereforeshetooktheothercourseandbelittledthewholeaffair。
“Oh，well，“shesaid，“Hewasasillycreature，andifIwereyou，I’dthinknomoreaboutit。“
“No，“saidRachel，sittingboltupright，“Ishan’tdothat。
IshallthinkaboutitalldayandallnightuntilIfindoutexactlywhatitdoesmean。“
“Don’tyoueverread？“Helenaskedtentatively。
“_Cowper’s__Letters_——thatkindofthing。FathergetsthemformeormyAunts。“
Helencouldhardlyrestrainherselffromsayingoutloudwhatshethoughtofamanwhobroughtuphisdaughtersothatattheageoftwenty-fourshescarcelyknewthatmendesiredwomenandwasterrifiedbyakiss。ShehadgoodreasontofearthatRachelhadmadeherselfincrediblyridiculous。
“Youdon’tknowmanymen？“sheasked。
“Mr。Pepper，“saidRachelironically。
“Sonoone’severwantedtomarryyou？“
“No，“sheansweredingenuously。
Helenreflectedthatas，fromwhatshehadsaid，Rachelcertainlywouldthinkthesethingsout，itmightbeaswelltohelpher。
“Yououghtn’ttobefrightened，“shesaid。“It’sthemostnaturalthingintheworld。Menwillwanttokissyou，justasthey’llwanttomarryyou。Thepityistogetthingsoutofproportion。
It’slikenoticingthenoisespeoplemakewhentheyeat，ormenspitting；or，inshort，anysmallthingthatgetsonone’snerves。“
Rachelseemedtobeinattentivetotheseremarks。
“Tellme，“shesaidsuddenly，“whatarethosewomeninPiccadilly？“
“InPicadilly？Theyareprostituted，“saidHelen。
“It_is_terrifying——it_is_disgusting，“Rachelasserted，asifsheincludedHeleninthehatred。
“Itis，“saidHelen。“But——“
“Ididlikehim，“Rachelmused，asifspeakingtoherself。
“Iwantedtotalktohim；Iwantedtoknowwhathe’ddone。
ThewomeninLancashire——“
ItseemedtoherassherecalledtheirtalkthattherewassomethinglovableaboutRichard，goodintheirattemptedfriendship，andstrangelypiteousinthewaytheyhadparted。
ThesofteningofhermoodwasapparenttoHelen。
“Yousee，“shesaid，“youmusttakethingsastheyare；andifyouwantfriendshipwithmenyoumustrunrisks。Personally，“shecontinued，breakingintoasmile，“Ithinkit’sworthit；Idon’tmindbeingkissed；I’mratherjealous，Ibelieve，thatMr。Dallowaykissedyouanddidn’tkissme。Though，“sheadded，“heboredmeconsiderably。“
ButRacheldidnotreturnthesmileordismissthewholeaffair，asHelenmeantherto。Hermindwasworkingveryquickly，inconsistentlyandpainfully。Helen’swordsheweddowngreatblockswhichhadstoodtherealways，andthelightwhichcameinwascold。
Aftersittingforatimewithfixedeyes，sheburstout:
“Sothat’swhyIcan’twalkalone！“
Bythisnewlightshesawherlifeforthefirsttimeacreepinghedged-inthing，drivencautiouslybetweenhighwalls，hereturnedaside，thereplungedindarkness，madedullandcrippledforever——herlifethatwastheonlychanceshehad
