第20章

类别:其他 作者:Virginia Woolf字数:5331更新时间:18/12/27 08:07:33
Themorningwashot,andtheexerciseofreadinglefthermindcontractingandexpandinglikethemain-springofaclock,andthesmallnoisesofmidday,whichonecanascribetonodefinitecause,inaregularrhythm。Itwasallveryreal,verybig,veryimpersonal,andafteramomentortwoshebegantoraiseherfirstfingerandtoletitfallonthearmofherchairsoastobringbacktoherselfsomeconsciousnessofherownexistence。 Shewasnextovercomebytheunspeakablequeernessofthefactthatsheshouldbesittinginanarm-chair,inthemorning,inthemiddleoftheworld。Whowerethepeoplemovinginthehouse—— movingthingsfromoneplacetoanother?Andlife,whatwasthat? Itwasonlyalightpassingoverthesurfaceandvanishing,asintimeshewouldvanish,thoughthefurnitureintheroomwouldremain。Herdissolutionbecamesocompletethatshecouldnotraiseherfingeranymore,andsatperfectlystill,listeningandlookingalwaysatthesamespot。Itbecamestrangerandstranger。Shewasovercomewithawethatthingsshouldexistatall……Sheforgotthatshehadanyfingerstoraise……Thethingsthatexistedweresoimmenseandsodesolate……Shecontinuedtobeconsciousofthesevastmassesofsubstanceforalongstretchoftime,theclockstilltickinginthemidstoftheuniversalsilence。 “Comein,“shesaidmechanically,forastringinherbrainseemedtobepulledbyapersistentknockingatthedoor。Withgreatslownessthedooropenedandatallhumanbeingcametowardsher,holdingoutherarmandsaying: “WhatamItosaytothis?“ TheutterabsurdityofawomancomingintoaroomwithapieceofpaperinherhandamazedRachel。 “Idon’tknowwhattoanswer,orwhoTerenceHewetis,“Helencontinued,inthetonelessvoiceofaghost。SheputapaperbeforeRachelonwhichwerewrittentheincrediblewords: DEARMRS。AMBROSE——IamgettingupapicnicfornextFriday,whenweproposetostartateleven-thirtyiftheweatherisfine,andtomaketheascentofMonteRosa。Itwilltakesometime,buttheviewshouldbemagnificent。ItwouldgivemegreatpleasureifyouandMissVinracewouldconsenttobeoftheparty—— Yourssincerely,TERENCEHEWET Rachelreadthewordsaloudtomakeherselfbelieveinthem。 ForthesamereasonsheputherhandonHelen’sshoulder。 “Books——books——books,“saidHelen,inherabsent-mindedway。 “Morenewbooks——Iwonderwhatyoufindinthem……“ ForthesecondtimeRachelreadtheletter,buttoherself。 Thistime,insteadofseemingvagueasghosts,eachwordwasastonishinglyprominent;theycameoutasthetopsofmountainscomethroughamist。_Friday_——_eleven-thirty_——_Miss__Vinrace_。 Thebloodbegantoruninherveins;shefelthereyesbrighten。 “Wemustgo,“shesaid,rathersurprisingHelenbyherdecision。 “Wemustcertainlygo“——suchwasthereliefoffindingthatthingsstillhappened,andindeedtheyappearedthebrighterforthemistsurroundingthem。 “MonteRosa——that’sthemountainoverthere,isn’tit?“saidHelen; “butHewet——who’she?OneoftheyoungmenRidleymet,Isuppose。 ShallIsayyes,then?Itmaybedreadfullydull。“ Shetooktheletterbackandwent,forthemessengerwaswaitingforheranswer。 ThepartywhichhadbeensuggestedafewnightsagoinMr。Hirst’sbedroomhadtakenshapeandwasthesourceofgreatsatisfactiontoMr。Hewet,whohadseldomusedhispracticalabilities,andwaspleasedtofindthemequaltothestrain。Hisinvitationshadbeenuniversallyaccepted,whichwasthemoreencouragingastheyhadbeenissuedagainstHirst’sadvicetopeoplewhowereverydull,notatallsuitedtoeachother,andsurenottocome。 “Undoubtedly,“hesaid,ashetwirledanduntwirledanotesignedHelenAmbrose,“thegiftsneededtomakeagreatcommanderhavebeenabsurdlyoverrated。Abouthalftheintellectualeffortwhichisneededtoreviewabookofmodernpoetryhasenabledmetogettogethersevenoreightpeople,ofoppositesexes,atthesamespotatthesamehouronthesameday。Whatelseisgeneralship,Hirst?WhatmoredidWellingtondoonthefieldofWaterloo?It’slikecountingthenumberofpebblesofapath,tediousbutnotdifficult。“ Hewassittinginhisbedroom,onelegoverthearmofthechair,andHirstwaswritingaletteropposite。Hirstwasquicktopointoutthatallthedifficultiesremained。 “Forinstance,herearetwowomenyou’veneverseen。Supposeoneofthemsuffersfrommountain-sickness,asmysisterdoes,andtheother——“ “Oh,thewomenareforyou,“Hewetinterrupted。“Iaskedthemsolelyforyourbenefit。Whatyouwant,Hirst,youknow,isthesocietyofyoungwomenofyourownage。Youdon’tknowhowtogetonwithwomen,whichisagreatdefect,consideringthathalftheworldconsistsofwomen。“ Hirstgroanedthathewasquiteawareofthat。 ButHewet’scomplacencywasalittlechilledashewalkedwithHirsttotheplacewhereageneralmeetinghadbeenappointed。 Hewonderedwhyonearthhehadaskedthesepeople,andwhatonereallyexpectedtogetfrombunchinghumanbeingsuptogether。 “Cows,“hereflected,“drawtogetherinafield;shipsinacalm; andwe’rejustthesamewhenwe’venothingelsetodo。Butwhydowedoit?——isittopreventourselvesfromseeingtothebottomofthings“ (hestoppedbyastreamandbeganstirringitwithhiswalking-stickandcloudingthewaterwithmud),“makingcitiesandmountainsandwholeuniversesoutofnothing,ordowereallyloveeachother,ordowe,ontheotherhand,liveinastateofperpetualuncertainty,knowingnothing,leapingfrommomenttomomentasfromworldtoworld?—— whichis,onthewhole,theview_I_inclineto。“ Hejumpedoverthestream;Hirstwentroundandjoinedhim,remarkingthathehadlongceasedtolookforthereasonofanyhumanaction。 Halfamilefurther,theycametoagroupofplanetreesandthesalmon-pinkfarmhousestandingbythestreamwhichhadbeenchosenasmeeting-place。Itwasashadyspot,lyingconvenientlyjustwherethehillsprungoutfromtheflat。Betweenthethinstemsoftheplanetreestheyoungmencouldseelittleknotsofdonkeyspasturing,andatallwomanrubbingthenoseofoneofthem,whileanotherwomanwaskneelingbythestreamlappingwateroutofherpalms。 Astheyenteredtheshadyplace,Helenlookedupandthenheldoutherhand。 “Imustintroducemyself,“shesaid。“IamMrs。Ambrose。“ Havingshakenhands,shesaid,“That’smyniece。“ Rachelapproachedawkwardly。Sheheldoutherhand,butwithdrewit。 “It’sallwet,“shesaid。 Scarcelyhadtheyspoken,whenthefirstcarriagedrewup。 Thedonkeyswerequicklyjerkedintoattention,andthesecondcarriagearrived。Bydegreesthegrovefilledwithpeople—— theElliots,theThornburys,Mr。VenningandSusan,MissAllan,EvelynMurgatroyd,andMr。Perrott。Mr。Hirstactedthepartofhoarseenergeticsheep-dog。BymeansofafewwordsofcausticLatinhehadtheanimalsmarshalled,andbyincliningasharpshoulderheliftedtheladies。“WhatHewetfailstounderstand,“heremarked,“isthatwemustbreakthebackoftheascentbeforemidday。“ Hewasassistingayounglady,bynameEvelynMurgatroyd,ashespoke。 Sheroselightasabubbletoherseat。Withafeatherdroopingfromabroad-brimmedhat,inwhitefromtoptotoe,shelookedlikeagallantladyofthetimeofCharlestheFirstleadingroyalisttroopsintoaction。 “Ridewithme,“shecommanded;and,assoonasHirsthadswunghimselfacrossamule,thetwostarted,leadingthecavalcade。 “You’renottocallmeMissMurgatroyd。Ihateit,“shesaid。 “Myname’sEvelyn。What’syours?“ “St。John,“hesaid。 “Ilikethat,“saidEvelyn。“Andwhat’syourfriend’sname?“ “HisinitialsbeingR。S。T。,wecallhimMonk,“saidHirst。 “Oh,you’realltooclever,“shesaid。“Whichway?“Pickmeabranch。 Let’scanter。“ Shegaveherdonkeyasharpcutwithaswitchandstartedforward。 ThefullandromanticcareerofEvelynMurgatroydisbesthitoffbyherownwords,“CallmeEvelynandI’llcallyouSt。John。“ Shesaidthatonveryslightprovocation——hersurnamewasenough—— butalthoughagreatmanyyoungmenhadansweredheralreadywithconsiderablespiritshewentonsayingitandmakingchoiceofnone。Butherdonkeystumbledtoajog-trot,andshehadtorideinadvancealone,forthepathwhenitbegantoascendoneofthespinesofthehillbecamenarrowandscatteredwithstones。 Thecavalcadewoundonlikeajointedcaterpillar,tuftedwiththewhiteparasolsoftheladies,andthepanamahatsofthegentlemen。 Atonepointwherethegroundrosesharply,EvelynM。jumpedoff,threwherreinstothenativeboy,andadjuredSt。JohnHirsttodismounttoo。Theirexamplewasfollowedbythosewhofelttheneedofstretching。 “Idon’tseeanyneedtogetoff,“saidMissAllantoMrs。Elliotjustbehindher,“consideringthedifficultyIhadgettingon。“ “Theselittledonkeysstandanything,_n’est-ce__pas_?“ Mrs。Elliotaddressedtheguide,whoobliginglybowedhishead。 “Flowers,“saidHelen,stoopingtopickthelovelylittlebrightflowerswhichgrewseparatelyhereandthere。“Youpinchtheirleavesandthentheysmell,“shesaid,layingoneonMissAllan’sknee。 “Haven’twemetbefore?“askedMissAllan,lookingather。 “Iwastakingitforgranted,“Helenlaughed,forintheconfusionofmeetingtheyhadnotbeenintroduced。 “Howsensible!“chirpedMrs。Elliot。“That’sjustwhatonewouldalwayslike——onlyunfortunatelyit’snotpossible。““Notpossible?“ saidHelen。“Everything’spossible。Whoknowswhatmayn’thappenbeforenight-fall?“shecontinued,mockingthepoorlady’stimidity,whodependedimplicitlyupononethingfollowinganotherthatthemereglimpseofaworldwheredinnercouldbedisregarded,orthetablemovedoneinchfromitsaccustomedplace,filledherwithfearsforherownstability。 Higherandhighertheywent,becomingseparatedfromtheworld。 Theworld,whentheyturnedtolookback,flatteneditselfout,andwasmarkedwithsquaresofthingreenandgrey。 “Townsareverysmall,“Rachelremarked,obscuringthewholeofSantaMarinaanditssuburbswithonehand。Theseafilledinalltheanglesofthecoastsmoothly,breakinginawhitefrill,andhereandthereshipsweresetfirmlyintheblue。Theseawasstainedwithpurpleandgreenblots,andtherewasaglitteringlineupontherimwhereitmetthesky。Theairwasveryclearandsilentsaveforthesharpnoiseofgrasshoppersandthehumofbees,whichsoundedloudintheearastheyshotpastandvanished。 Thepartyhaltedandsatforatimeinaquarryonthehillside。 “Amazinglyclear,“exclaimedSt。John,identifyingonecleftinthelandafteranother。 EvelynM。satbesidehim,proppingherchinonherhand。 Shesurveyedtheviewwithacertainlookoftriumph。 “D’youthinkGaribaldiwaseveruphere?“sheaskedMr。Hirst。 Oh,ifshehadbeenhisbride!If,insteadofapicnicparty,thiswasapartyofpatriots,andshe,red-shirtedliketherest,hadlainamonggrimmen,flatontheturf,aiminghergunatthewhiteturretsbeneaththem,screeninghereyestopiercethroughthesmoke! Sothinking,herfootstirredrestlessly,andsheexclaimed: “Idon’tcallthis_life_,doyou?“ “Whatdoyoucalllife?“saidSt。John。 “Fighting——revolution,“shesaid,stillgazingatthedoomedcity。 “Youonlycareforbooks,Iknow。“ “You’requitewrong,“saidSt。John。 “Explain,“sheurged,fortherewerenogunstobeaimedatbodies,andsheturnedtoanotherkindofwarfare。 “WhatdoIcarefor?People,“hesaid。 “Well,I_am_surprised!“sheexclaimed。“Youlooksoawfullyserious。 Dolet’sbefriendsandtelleachotherwhatwe’relike。Ihatebeingcautious,don’tyou?“ ButSt。Johnwasdecidedlycautious,asshecouldseebythesuddenconstrictionofhislips,andhadnointentionofrevealinghissoultoayounglady。“Theassiseatingmyhat,“heremarked,andstretchedoutforitinsteadofansweringher。EvelynblushedveryslightlyandthenturnedwithsomeimpetuosityuponMr。Perrott,andwhentheymountedagainitwasMr。Perrottwholiftedhertoherseat。 “Whenonehaslaidtheeggsoneeatstheomelette,“saidHughlingElliot,exquisitelyinFrench,ahinttotherestofthemthatitwastimetorideonagain。