第22章

类别:其他 作者:Virginia Woolf字数:5160更新时间:18/12/27 08:07:33
Thetwopartieswhowerestrollingaboutandlosingtheirunitynowcametogether,andjoinedeachotherinalongstareovertheyellowandgreenpatchesoftheheatedlandscapebelow。 Thehotairdancedacrossit,makingitimpossibletoseetheroofsofavillageontheplaindistinctly。Evenonthetopofthemountainwhereabreezeplayedlightly,itwasveryhot,andtheheat,thefood,theimmensespace,andperhapssomelesswell-definedcauseproducedacomfortabledrowsinessandasenseofhappyrelaxationinthem。 Theydidnotsaymuch,butfeltnoconstraintinbeingsilent。 “Supposewegoandseewhat’stobeseenoverthere?“saidArthurtoSusan,andthepairwalkedofftogether,theirdeparturecertainlysendingsomethrillofemotionthroughtherest。 “Anoddlot,aren’tthey?“saidArthur。“Ithoughtweshouldneverget’emalltothetop。ButI’mgladwecame,byJove! Iwouldn’thavemissedthisforsomething。“ “Idon’t_like_Mr。Hirst,“saidSusaninconsequently。“Isupposehe’sveryclever,butwhyshouldcleverpeoplebeso——Iexpecthe’sawfullynice,really,“sheadded,instinctivelyqualifyingwhatmighthaveseemedanunkindremark。 “Hirst?Oh,he’soneoftheselearnedchaps,“saidArthurindifferently。 “Hedon’tlookasifheenjoyedit。YoushouldhearhimtalkingtoElliot。It’sasmuchasIcandotofollow’ematall……Iwasnevergoodatmybooks。“ Withthesesentencesandthepausesthatcamebetweenthemtheyreachedalittlehillock,onthetopofwhichgrewseveralslimtrees。 “D’youmindifwesitdownhere?“saidArthur,lookingabouthim。 “It’sjollyintheshade——andtheview——“Theysatdown,andlookedstraightaheadoftheminsilenceforsometime。 “ButIdoenvythosecleverchapssometimes,“Arthurremarked。 “Idon’tsupposetheyever……“Hedidnotfinishhissentence。 “Ican’tseewhyyoushouldenvythem,“saidSusan,withgreatsincerity。 “Oddthingshappentoone,“saidArthur。“Onegoesalongsmoothlyenough,onethingfollowinganother,andit’sallveryjollyandplainsailing,andyouthinkyouknowallaboutit,andsuddenlyonedoesn’tknowwhereoneisabit,andeverythingseemsdifferentfromwhatitusedtoseem。Nowto-day,comingupthatpath,ridingbehindyou,Iseemedtoseeeverythingasif——“hepausedandpluckedapieceofgrassupbytheroots。Hescatteredthelittlelumpsofearthwhichwerestickingtotheroots——“Asifithadakindofmeaning。 You’vemadethedifferencetome,“hejerkedout,“Idon’tseewhyIshouldn’ttellyou。I’vefeltiteversinceIknewyou……It’sbecauseIloveyou。“ EvenwhiletheyhadbeensayingcommonplacethingsSusanhadbeenconsciousoftheexcitementofintimacy,whichseemednotonlytolaybaresomethinginher,butinthetreesandthesky,andtheprogressofhisspeechwhichseemedinevitablewaspositivelypainfultoher,fornohumanbeinghadevercomesoclosetoherbefore。 Shewasstruckmotionlessashisspeechwenton,andherheartgavegreatseparateleapsatthelastwords。Shesatwithherfingerscurledroundastone,lookingstraightinfrontofherdownthemountainovertheplain。Sothen,ithadactuallyhappenedtoher,aproposalofmarriage。 Arthurlookedroundather;hisfacewasoddlytwisted。Shewasdrawingherbreathwithsuchdifficultythatshecouldhardlyanswer。 “Youmighthaveknown。“Heseizedherinhisarms;againandagainandagaintheyclaspedeachother,murmuringinarticulately。 “Well,“sighedArthur,sinkingbackontheground,“that’sthemostwonderfulthingthat’severhappenedtome。“Helookedasifheweretryingtoputthingsseeninadreambesiderealthings。 Therewasalongsilence。 “It’sthemostperfectthingintheworld,“Susanstated,verygentlyandwithgreatconviction。Itwasnolongermerelyaproposalofmarriage,butofmarriagewithArthur,withwhomshewasinlove。 Inthesilencethatfollowed,holdinghishandtightlyinhers,sheprayedtoGodthatshemightmakehimagoodwife。 “AndwhatwillMr。Perrottsay?“sheaskedattheendofit。 “Dearoldfellow,“saidArthurwho,nowthatthefirstshockwasover,wasrelaxingintoanenormoussenseofpleasureandcontentment。 “Wemustbeverynicetohim,Susan。“ HetoldherhowhardPerrott’slifehadbeen,andhowabsurdlydevotedhewastoArthurhimself。Hewentontotellherabouthismother,awidowlady,ofstrongcharacter。InreturnSusansketchedtheportraitsofherownfamily——Edithinparticular,heryoungestsister,whomshelovedbetterthananyoneelse,“exceptyou,Arthur……Arthur,“shecontinued,“whatwasitthatyoufirstlikedmefor?“ “Itwasabuckleyouworeonenightatsea,“saidArthur,afterdueconsideration。“Iremembernoticing——it’sanabsurdthingtonotice!——thatyoudidn’ttakepeas,becauseIdon’teither。“ Fromthistheywentontocomparetheirmoreserioustastes,orratherSusanascertainedwhatArthurcaredabout,andprofessedherselfveryfondofthesamething。TheywouldliveinLondon,perhapshaveacottageinthecountrynearSusan’sfamily,fortheywouldfinditstrangewithoutheratfirst。Hermind,stunnedtobeginwith,nowflewtothevariouschangesthatherengagementwouldmake—— howdelightfulitwouldbetojointheranksofthemarriedwomen—— nolongertohangontogroupsofgirlsmuchyoungerthanherself—— toescapethelongsolitudeofanoldmaid’slife。Nowandthenheramazinggoodfortuneovercameher,andsheturnedtoArthurwithanexclamationoflove。 Theylayineachother’sarmsandhadnonotionthattheywereobserved。 Yettwofiguressuddenlyappearedamongthetreesabovethem。 “Here’sshade,“beganHewet,whenRachelsuddenlystoppeddead。 Theysawamanandwomanlyingonthegroundbeneaththem,rollingslightlythiswayandthatastheembracetightenedandslackened。 Themanthensatuprightandthewoman,whonowappearedtobeSusanWarrington,laybackupontheground,withhereyesshutandanabsorbedlookuponherface,asthoughshewerenotaltogetherconscious。 Norcouldyoutellfromherexpressionwhethershewashappy,orhadsufferedsomething。WhenArthuragainturnedtoher,buttingherasalambbuttsaewe,HewetandRachelretreatedwithoutaword。 Hewetfeltuncomfortablyshy。 “Idon’tlikethat,“saidRachelafteramoment。 “Icanremembernotlikingiteither,“saidHewet。“Icanremember——“ buthechangedhismindandcontinuedinanordinarytoneofvoice,“Well,wemaytakeitforgrantedthatthey’reengaged。D’youthinkhe’lleverfly,orwillsheputastoptothat?“ ButRachelwasstillagitated;shecouldnotgetawayfromthesighttheyhadjustseen。InsteadofansweringHewetshepersisted。 “Love’sanoddthing,isn’tit,makingone’sheartbeat。“ “It’ssoenormouslyimportant,yousee,“Hewetreplied。 “Theirlivesarenowchangedforever。“ “Anditmakesonesorryforthemtoo,“Rachelcontinued,asthoughsheweretracingthecourseofherfeelings。“Idon’tknoweitherofthem,butIcouldalmostburstintotears。That’ssilly,isn’tit?“ “Justbecausethey’reinlove,“saidHewet。“Yes,“headdedafteramoment’sconsideration,“there’ssomethinghorriblypatheticaboutit,Iagree。“ Andnow,astheyhadwalkedsomewayfromthegroveoftrees,andhadcometoaroundedhollowverytemptingtotheback,theyproceededtositdown,andtheimpressionoftheloverslostsomeofitsforce,thoughacertainintensityofvision,whichwasprobablytheresultofthesight,remainedwiththem。 Asadayuponwhichanyemotionhasbeenrepressedisdifferentfromotherdays,sothisdaywasnowdifferent,merelybecausetheyhadseenotherpeopleatacrisisoftheirlives。 “Agreatencampmentoftentstheymightbe,“saidHewet,lookinginfrontofhimatthemountains。“Isn’titlikeawater-colourtoo—— youknowthewaywater-coloursdryinridgesallacrossthepaper—— I’vebeenwonderingwhattheylookedlike。“ Hiseyesbecamedreamy,asthoughhewerematchingthings,andremindedRachelintheircolourofthegreenfleshofasnail。 Shesatbesidehimlookingatthemountainstoo。Whenitbecamepainfultolookanylonger,thegreatsizeoftheviewseemingtoenlargehereyesbeyondtheirnaturallimit,shelookedattheground; itpleasedhertoscrutinisethisinchofthesoilofSouthAmericasominutelythatshenoticedeverygrainofearthandmadeitintoaworldwhereshewasendowedwiththesupremepower。 Shebentabladeofgrass,andsetaninsectontheutmosttasselofit,andwonderediftheinsectrealisedhisstrangeadventure,andthoughthowstrangeitwasthatsheshouldhavebentthattasselratherthananyotherofthemilliontassels。 “You’venevertoldmeyouname,“saidHewetsuddenly。 “MissSomebodyVinrace……Iliketoknowpeople’sChristiannames。“ “Rachel,“shereplied。 “Rachel,“herepeated。“IhaveanauntcalledRachel,whoputthelifeofFatherDamienintoverse。Sheisareligiousfanatic—— theresultofthewayshewasbroughtup,downinNorthamptonshire,neverseeingasoul。Haveyouanyaunts?“ “Ilivewiththem,“saidRachel。 “AndIwonderwhatthey’redoingnow?“Hewetenquired。 “Theyareprobablybuyingwool,“Racheldetermined。Shetriedtodescribethem。“Theyaresmall,ratherpalewomen,“shebegan,“veryclean。WeliveinRichmond。Theyhaveanolddog,too,whowillonlyeatthemarrowoutofbones……Theyarealwaysgoingtochurch。Theytidytheirdrawersagooddeal。“ Buthereshewasovercomebythedifficultyofdescribingpeople。 “It’simpossibletobelievethatit’sallgoingonstill!“ sheexclaimed。 Thesunwasbehindthemandtwolongshadowssuddenlylayuponthegroundinfrontofthem,onewavingbecauseitwasmadebyaskirt,andtheotherstationary,becausethrownbyapairoflegsintrousers。 “Youlookverycomfortable!“saidHelen’svoiceabovethem。 “Hirst,“saidHewet,pointingatthescissorlikeshadow;hethenrolledroundtolookupatthem。 “There’sroomforusallhere,“hesaid。 WhenHirsthadseatedhimselfcomfortably,hesaid: “Didyoucongratulatetheyoungcouple?“ Itappearedthat,comingtothesamespotafewminutesafterHewetandRachel,HelenandHirsthadseenpreciselythesamething。 “No,wedidn’tcongratulatethem,“saidHewet。“Theyseemedveryhappy。“ “Well,“saidHirst,pursinguphislips,“solongasIneedn’tmarryeitherofthem——“ “Wewereverymuchmoved,“saidHewet。 “Ithoughtyouwouldbe,“saidHirst。“Whichwasit,Monk? Thethoughtoftheimmortalpassions,orthethoughtofnew-bornmalestokeeptheRomanCatholicsout?Iassureyou,“hesaidtoHelen,“he’scapableofbeingmovedbyeither。“ Rachelwasagooddealstungbyhisbanter,whichshefelttobedirectedequallyagainstthemboth,butshecouldthinkofnorepartee。 “NothingmovesHirst,“Hewetlaughed;hedidnotseemtobestungatall。“Unlessitwereatransfinitenumberfallinginlovewithafiniteone——Isupposesuchthingsdohappen,eveninmathematics。“ “Onthecontrary,“saidHirstwithatouchofannoyance,“Iconsidermyselfapersonofverystrongpassions。“ Itwasclearfromthewayhespokethathemeantitseriously; hespokeofcourseforthebenefitoftheladies。 “Bytheway,Hirst,“saidHewet,afterapause,“Ihaveaterribleconfessiontomake。Yourbook——thepoemsofWordsworth,whichifyourememberItookoffyourtablejustaswewerestarting,andcertainlyputinmypockethere——“ “Islost,“Hirstfinishedforhim。 “Iconsiderthatthereisstillachance,“Heweturged,slappinghimselftorightandleft,“thatIneverdidtakeitafterall。“ “No,“saidHirst。“Itishere。“Hepointedtohisbreast。 “ThankGod,“Hewetexclaimed。“IneednolongerfeelasthoughI’dmurderedachild!“ “Ishouldthinkyouwerealwayslosingthings,“Helenremarked,lookingathimmeditatively。