第27章

类别:其他 作者:Virginia Woolf字数:5158更新时间:18/12/27 08:07:33
“Howsillythepooroldlightslook!“saidEvelynM。inacuriouslysubduedtoneofvoice。“Andourselves;itisn’tbecoming。“ Itwastrue;theuntidyhair,andthegreenandyellowgems,whichhadseemedsofestivehalfanhourago,nowlookedcheapandslovenly。 Thecomplexionsoftheelderladiessufferedterribly,and,asifconsciousthatacoldeyehadbeenturneduponthem,theybegantosaygood-nightandtomaketheirwayuptobed。 Rachel,thoughrobbedofheraudience,hadgoneonplayingtoherself。 FromJohnPeelshepassedtoBach,whowasatthistimethesubjectofherintenseenthusiasm,andonebyonesomeoftheyoungerdancerscameinfromthegardenandsatuponthedesertedgiltchairsroundthepiano,theroombeingnowsoclearthattheyturnedoutthelights。 Astheysatandlistened,theirnerveswerequieted;theheatandsorenessoftheirlips,theresultofincessanttalkingandlaughing,wassmoothedaway。Theysatverystillasiftheysawabuildingwithspacesandcolumnssucceedingeachotherrisingintheemptyspace。 Thentheybegantoseethemselvesandtheirlives,andthewholeofhumanlifeadvancingverynoblyunderthedirectionofthemusic。 Theyfeltthemselvesennobled,andwhenRachelstoppedplayingtheydesirednothingbutsleep。 Susanrose。“Ithinkthishasbeenthehappiestnightofmylife!“ sheexclaimed。“Idoadoremusic,“shesaid,asshethankedRachel。 “Itjustseemstosayallthethingsonecan’tsayoneself。“ Shegaveanervouslittlelaughandlookedfromonetoanotherwithgreatbenignity,asthoughshewouldliketosaysomethingbutcouldnotfindthewordsinwhichtoexpressit。“Everyone’sbeensokind—— soverykind,“shesaid。Thenshetoowenttobed。 Thepartyhavingendedintheveryabruptwayinwhichpartiesdoend,HelenandRachelstoodbythedoorwiththeircloakson,lookingforacarriage。 “Isupposeyourealisethattherearenocarriagesleft?“ saidSt。John,whohadbeenouttolook。“Youmustsleephere。“ “Oh,no,“saidHelen;“weshallwalk。“ “Maywecometoo?“Hewetasked。“Wecan’tgotobed。Imaginelyingamongbolstersandlookingatone’swashstandonamorninglikethis—— Isthatwhereyoulive?“Theyhadbeguntowalkdowntheavenue,andheturnedandpointedatthewhiteandgreenvillaonthehillside,whichseemedtohaveitseyesshut。 “That’snotalightburning,isit?“Helenaskedanxiously。 “It’sthesun,“saidSt。John。Theupperwindowshadeachaspotofgoldonthem。 “Iwasafraiditwasmyhusband,stillreadingGreek,“shesaid。 “Allthistimehe’sbeenediting_Pindar_。“ Theypassedthroughthetownandturnedupthesteeproad,whichwasperfectlyclear,thoughstillunborderedbyshadows。 Partlybecausetheyweretired,andpartlybecausetheearlylightsubduedthem,theyscarcelyspoke,butbreathedinthedeliciousfreshair,whichseemedtobelongtoadifferentstateoflifefromtheairatmidday。Whentheycametothehighyellowwall,wherethelaneturnedofffromtheroad,Helenwasfordismissingthetwoyoungmen。 “You’vecomefarenough,“shesaid。“Gobacktobed。“ Buttheyseemedunwillingtomove。 “Let’ssitdownamoment,“saidHewet。Hespreadhiscoatontheground。“Let’ssitdownandconsider。“Theysatdownandlookedoutoverthebay;itwasverystill,theseawasripplingfaintly,andlinesofgreenandbluewerebeginningtostripeit。Therewerenosailingboatsasyet,butasteamerwasanchoredinthebay,lookingveryghostlyinthemist;itgaveoneunearthlycry,andthenallwassilent。 Racheloccupiedherselfincollectingonegreystoneafteranotherandbuildingthemintoalittlecairn;shediditveryquietlyandcarefully。 “Andsoyou’vechangedyourviewoflife,Rachel?“saidHelen。 Racheladdedanotherstoneandyawned。“Idon’tremember,“shesaid,“Ifeellikeafishatthebottomofthesea。“Sheyawnedagain。 Noneofthesepeoplepossessedanypowertofrightenherouthereinthedawn,andshefeltperfectlyfamiliarevenwithMr。Hirst。 “Mybrain,onthecontrary,“saidHirst,“isinaconditionofabnormalactivity。“Hesatinhisfavouritepositionwithhisarmsbindinghislegstogetherandhischinrestingonthetopofhisknees。“Iseethrougheverything——absolutelyeverything。 Lifehasnomoremysteriesforme。“Hespokewithconviction,butdidnotappeartowishforananswer。Nearthoughtheysat,andfamiliarthoughtheyfelt,theyseemedmereshadowstoeachother。 “Andallthosepeopledowntheregoingtosleep,“Hewetbegandreamily,“thinkingsuchdifferentthings,——MissWarrington,Isuppose,isnowonherknees;theElliotsarealittlestartled,it’snotoften_they_getoutofbreath,andtheywanttogettosleepasquicklyaspossible;thenthere’sthepoorleanyoungmanwhodancedallnightwithEvelyn;he’sputtinghisflowerinwaterandaskinghimself,’Isthislove?’——andpooroldPerrott,Idaresay,can’tgettosleepatall,andisreadinghisfavouriteGreekbooktoconsolehimself—— andtheothers——no,Hirst,“hewoundup,“Idon’tfinditsimpleatall。“ “Ihaveakey,“saidHirstcryptically。Hischinwasstilluponhiskneesandhiseyesfixedinfrontofhim。 Asilencefollowed。ThenHelenroseandbadethemgood-night。 “But,“shesaid,“rememberthatyou’vegottocomeandseeus。“ Theywavedgood-nightandparted,butthetwoyoungmendidnotgobacktothehotel;theywentforawalk,duringwhichtheyscarcelyspoke,andnevermentionedthenamesofthetwowomen,whowere,toaconsiderableextent,thesubjectoftheirthoughts。 Theydidnotwishtosharetheirimpressions。Theyreturnedtothehotelintimeforbreakfast。 Thereweremanyroomsinthevilla,butoneroomwhichpossessedacharacterofitsownbecausethedoorwasalwaysshut,andnosoundofmusicorlaughterissuedfromit。Everyoneinthehousewasvaguelyconsciousthatsomethingwentonbehindthatdoor,andwithoutintheleastknowingwhatitwas,wereinfluencedintheirownthoughtsbytheknowledgethatifthepasseditthedoorwouldbeshut,andiftheymadeanoiseMr。Ambroseinsidewouldbedisturbed。Certainactsthereforepossessedmerit,andotherswerebad,sothatlifebecamemoreharmoniousandlessdisconnectedthanitwouldhavebeenhadMr。Ambrosegivenupediting_Pindar_,andtakentoanomadexistence,inandoutofeveryroominthehouse。 Asitwas,everyonewasconsciousthatbyobservingcertainrules,suchaspunctualityandquiet,bycookingwell,andperformingothersmallduties,oneodeafteranotherwassatisfactorilyrestoredtotheworld,andtheysharedthecontinuityofthescholar’slife。 Unfortunately,asageputsonebarrierbetweenhumanbeings,andlearninganother,andsexathird,Mr。Ambroseinhisstudywassomethousandmilesdistantfromthenearesthumanbeing,whointhishouseholdwasinevitablyawoman。Hesathourafterhouramongwhite-leavedbooks,alonelikeanidolinanemptychurch,stillexceptforthepassageofhishandfromonesideofthesheettoanother,silentsaveforanoccasionalchoke,whichdrovehimtoextendhispipeamomentintheair。Asheworkedhiswayfurtherandfurtherintotheheartofthepoet,hischairbecamemoreandmoredeeplyencircledbybooks,whichlayopenonthefloor,andcouldonlybecrossedbyacarefulprocessofstepping,sodelicatethathisvisitorsgenerallystoppedandaddressedhimfromtheoutskirts。 Onthemorningafterthedance,however,Rachelcameintoheruncle’sroomandhailedhimtwice,“UncleRidley,“beforehepaidheranyattention。 Atlengthhelookedoverhisspectacles。 “Well?“heasked。 “Iwantabook,“shereplied。“Gibbon’s_History__of__the_ _Roman__Empire_。MayIhaveit?“ Shewatchedthelinesonheruncle’sfacegraduallyrearrangethemselvesatherquestion。Ithadbeensmoothasamaskbeforeshespoke。 “Pleasesaythatagain,“saidheruncle,eitherbecausehehadnotheardorbecausehehadnotunderstood。 Sherepeatedthesamewordsandreddenedslightlyasshedidso。 “Gibbon!Whatonearthd’youwanthimfor?“heenquired。 “Somebodyadvisedmetoreadit,“Rachelstammered。 “ButIdon’ttravelaboutwithamiscellaneouscollectionofeighteenth-centuryhistorians!“heruncleexclaimed。 “Gibbon!Tenbigvolumesatleast。“ Rachelsaidthatshewassorrytointerrupt,andwasturningtogo。 “Stop!“criedheruncle。Heputdownhispipe,placedhisbookononeside,androseandledherslowlyroundtheroom,holdingherbythearm。 “Plato,“hesaid,layingonefingeronthefirstofarowofsmalldarkbooks,“andJorrocksnextdoor,whichiswrong。Sophocles,Swift。 Youdon’tcareforGermancommentators,Ipresume。French,then。 YoureadFrench?YoushouldreadBalzac。ThenwecometoWordsworthandColeridge,Pope,Johnson,Addison,Wordsworth,Shelley,Keats。 Onethingleadstoanother。WhyisMarlowehere?Mrs。Chailey,Ipresume。Butwhat’stheuseofreadingifyoudon’treadGreek? Afterall,ifyoureadGreek,youneedneverreadanythingelse,purewasteoftime——purewasteoftime,“thusspeakinghalftohimself,withquickmovementsofhishands;theyhadcomeroundagaintothecircleofbooksonthefloor,andtheirprogresswasstopped。 “Well,“hedemanded,“whichshallitbe?“ “Balzac,“saidRachel,“orhaveyouthe_Speech__on__the_ _American__Revolution_,UncleRidley?“ “_The__Speech__on__the__American__Revolution_?“heasked。 Helookedatherverykeenlyagain。“Anotheryoungmanatthedance?“ “No。ThatwasMr。Dalloway,“sheconfessed。 “GoodLord!“heflungbackhisheadinrecollectionofMr。Dalloway。 Shechoseforherselfavolumeatrandom,submittedittoheruncle,who,seeingthatitwas_La__Cousine__bette_,badeherthrowitawayifshefoundittoohorrible,andwasabouttoleavehimwhenhedemandedwhethershehadenjoyedherdance? Hethenwantedtoknowwhatpeopledidatdances,seeingthathehadonlybeentoonethirty-fiveyearsago,whennothinghadseemedtohimmoremeaninglessandidiotic。Didtheyenjoyturningroundandroundtothescreechofafiddle?Didtheytalk,andsayprettythings,andifso,whydidn’ttheydoit,underreasonableconditions? Asforhimself——hesighedandpointedatthesignsofindustrylyingallabouthim,which,inspiteofhissigh,filledhisfacewithsuchsatisfactionthathisniecethoughtgoodtoleave。 Onbestowingakissshewasallowedtogo,butnotuntilshehadboundherselftolearnatanyratetheGreekalphabet,andtoreturnherFrenchnovelwhendonewith,uponwhichsomethingmoresuitablewouldbefoundforher。 Astheroomsinwhichpeopleliveareapttogiveoffsomethingofthesameshockastheirfaceswhenseenforthefirsttime,Rachelwalkedveryslowlydownstairs,lostinwonderatheruncle,andhisbooks,andhisneglectofdances,andhisqueer,utterlyinexplicable,butapparentlysatisfactoryviewoflife,whenhereyewascaughtbyanotewithhernameonitlyinginthehall。 Theaddresswaswritteninasmallstronghandunknowntoher,andthenote,whichhadnobeginning,ran:—— IsendthefirstvolumeofGibbonasIpromised。PersonallyIfindlittletobesaidforthemoderns,butI’mgoingtosendyouWedekindwhenI’vedonehim。Donne?HaveyoureadWebsterandallthatset? Ienvyyoureadingthemforthefirsttime。Completelyexhaustedafterlastnight。Andyou? TheflourishofinitialswhichshetooktobeSt。J。A。H。,wounduptheletter。ShewasverymuchflatteredthatMr。Hirstshouldhaverememberedher,andfulfilledhispromisesoquickly。 Therewasstillanhourtoluncheon,andwithGibboninonehand,andBalzacintheothershestrolledoutofthegateanddownthelittlepathofbeatenmudbetweentheolivetreesontheslopeofthehill。Itwastoohotforclimbinghills,butalongthevalleythereweretreesandagrasspathrunningbytheriverbed。