“Iwasjustsayingthatpeoplearesoliketheirboots，“
saidMissAllan。Mrs。Paleydidnothear。Sherepeateditmoreloudlystill。Mrs。Paleydidnothear。Sherepeateditathirdtime。Mrs。Paleyheard，butshedidnotunderstand。
Shewasapparentlyabouttorepeatitforthefourthtime，whenRachelsuddenlysaidsomethinginarticulate，anddisappeareddownthecorridor。Thismisunderstanding，whichinvolvedacompleteblockinthepassage，seemedtoherunbearable。Shewalkedquicklyandblindlyintheoppositedirection，andfoundherselfattheendofa_cul__de__sac_。Therewasawindow，andatableandachairinthewindow，anduponthetablestoodarustyinkstand，anashtray，anoldcopyofaFrenchnewspaper，andapenwithabrokennib。Rachelsatdown，asiftostudytheFrenchnewspaper，butatearfellontheblurredFrenchprint，raisingasoftblot。
Sheliftedherheadsharply，exclaimingaloud，“It’sintolerable！“
Lookingoutofthewindowwitheyesthatwouldhaveseennothingevenhadtheynotbeendazedbytears，sheindulgedherselfatlastinviolentabuseoftheentireday。Ithadbeenmiserablefromstarttofinish；first，theserviceinthechapel；thenluncheon；
thenEvelyn；thenMissAllan；thenoldMrs。Paleyblockingupthepassage。Alldaylongshehadbeentantalizedandputoff。
Shehadnowreachedoneofthoseeminences，theresultofsomecrisis，fromwhichtheworldisfinallydisplayedinitstrueproportions。
Shedislikedthelookofitimmensely——churches，politicians，misfits，andhugeimpostures——menlikeMr。Dalloway，menlikeMr。Bax，Evelynandherchatter，Mrs。Paleyblockingupthepassage。
Meanwhilethesteadybeatofherownpulserepresentedthehotcurrentoffeelingthatrandownbeneath；beating，struggling，fretting。
Forthetime，herownbodywasthesourceofallthelifeintheworld，whichtriedtoburstforthhere——there——andwasrepressednowbyMr。Bax，nowbyEvelyn，nowbytheimpositionofponderousstupidity，theweightoftheentireworld。Thustormented，shewouldtwistherhandstogether，forallthingswerewrong，allpeoplestupid。
Vaguelyseeingthattherewerepeopledowninthegardenbeneathsherepresentedthemasaimlessmassesofmatter，floatinghitherandthither，withoutaimexcepttoimpedeher。Whatweretheydoing，thoseotherpeopleintheworld？
“Nobodyknows，“shesaid。Theforceofherragewasbeginningtospenditself，andthevisionoftheworldwhichhadbeensovividbecamedim。
“It’sadream，“shemurmured。Sheconsideredtherustyinkstand，thepen，theash-tray，andtheoldFrenchnewspaper。Thesesmallandworthlessobjectsseemedtohertorepresenthumanlives。
“We’reasleepanddreaming，“sherepeated。ButthepossibilitywhichnowsuggesteditselfthatoneoftheshapesmightbetheshapeofTerencerousedherfromhermelancholylethargy。
Shebecameasrestlessasshehadbeenbeforeshesatdown。Shewasnolongerabletoseetheworldasatownlaidoutbeneathher。
Itwascoveredinsteadbyahazeoffeverishredmist。Shehadreturnedtothestateinwhichshehadbeenallday。Thinkingwasnoescape。Physicalmovementwastheonlyrefuge，inandoutofrooms，inandoutofpeople’sminds，seekingsheknewnotwhat。
Thereforesherose，pushedbackthetable，andwentdownstairs。
Shewentoutofthehalldoor，and，turningthecornerofthehotel，foundherselfamongthepeoplewhomshehadseenfromthewindow。
Butowingtothebroadsunshineaftershadedpassages，andtothesubstanceoflivingpeopleafterdreams，thegroupappearedwithstartlingintensity，asthoughthedustysurfacehadbeenpeeledoffeverything，leavingonlytherealityandtheinstant。
Ithadthelookofavisionprintedonthedarkatnight。
Whiteandgreyandpurplefigureswerescatteredonthegreen，roundwickertables，inthemiddletheflameofthetea-urnmadetheairwaverlikeafaultysheetofglass，amassivegreentreestoodoverthemasifitwereamovingforceheldatrest。
Assheapproached，shecouldhearEvelyn’svoicerepeatingmonotonously，“Herethen——here——gooddoggie，comehere“；foramomentnothingseemedtohappen；itallstoodstill，andthensherealisedthatoneofthefigureswasHelenAmbrose；andthedustagainbegantosettle。
Thegroupindeedhadcometogetherinamiscellaneousway；
onetea-tablejoiningtoanothertea-table，anddeck-chairsservingtoconnecttwogroups。ButevenatadistanceitcouldbeseenthatMrs。Flushing，uprightandimperious，dominatedtheparty。
ShewastalkingvehementlytoHelenacrossthetable。
“Tendaysundercanvas，“shewassaying。“Nocomforts。Ifyouwantcomforts，don’tcome。ButImaytellyou，ifyoudon’tcomeyou’llregretitallyourlife。Yousayyes？“
AtthismomentMrs。FlushingcaughtsightofRachel。
“Ah，there’syourniece。She’spromised。You’recoming，aren’tyou？“
Havingadoptedtheplan，shepursueditwiththeenergyofachild。
Racheltookherpartwitheagerness。
“OfcourseI’mcoming。Soareyou，Helen。AndMr。Peppertoo。“
Asshesatsherealisedthatshewassurroundedbypeoplesheknew，butthatTerencewasnotamongthem。Fromvariousanglespeoplebegansayingwhattheythoughtoftheproposedexpedition。
Accordingtosomeitwouldbehot，butthenightswouldbecold；
accordingtoothers，thedifficultieswouldlieratheringettingaboat，andinspeakingthelanguage。Mrs。Flushingdisposedofallobjections，whetherduetomanorduetonature，byannouncingthatherhusbandwouldsettleallthat。
MeanwhileMr。FlushingquietlyexplainedtoHelenthattheexpeditionwasreallyasimplematter；ittookfivedaysattheoutside；
andtheplace——anativevillage——wascertainlywellworthseeingbeforeshereturnedtoEngland。Helenmurmuredambiguously，anddidnotcommitherselftooneanswerratherthantoanother。
Thetea-party，however，includedtoomanydifferentkindsofpeopleforgeneralconversationtoflourish；andfromRachel’spointofviewpossessedthegreatadvantagethatitwasquiteunnecessaryforhertotalk。OverthereSusanandArthurwereexplainingtoMrs。Paleythatanexpeditionhadbeenproposed；andMrs。Paleyhavinggraspedthefact，gavetheadviceofanoldtravellerthattheyshouldtakenicecannedvegetables，furcloaks，andinsectpowder。
SheleantovertoMrs。Flushingandwhisperedsomethingwhichfromthetwinkleinhereyesprobablyhadreferencetobugs。
ThenHelenwasreciting“TollfortheBrave“toSt。JohnHirst，inorderapparentlytowinasixpencewhichlayuponthetable；
whileMr。HughlingElliotimposedsilenceuponhissectionoftheaudiencebyhisfascinatinganecdoteofLordCurzonandtheundergraduate’sbicycle。Mrs。ThornburywastryingtorememberthenameofamanwhomighthavebeenanotherGaribaldi，andhadwrittenabookwhichtheyoughttoread；andMr。Thornburyrecollectedthathehadapairofbinocularsatanybody’sservice。
MissAllanmeanwhilemurmuredwiththecuriousintimacywhichaspinsteroftenachieveswithdogs，tothefox-terrierwhichEvelynhadatlastinducedtocomeovertothem。Littleparticlesofdustorblossomfellontheplatesnowandthenwhenthebranchessighedabove。
Rachelseemedtoseeandhearalittleofeverything，muchasariverfeelsthetwigsthatfallintoitandseestheskyabove，buthereyesweretoovagueforEvelyn’sliking。Shecameacross，andsatonthegroundatRachel’sfeet。
“Well？“sheaskedsuddenly。“Whatareyouthinkingabout？“
“MissWarrington，“Rachelrepliedrashly，becauseshehadtosaysomething。ShedidindeedseeSusanmurmuringtoMrs。Elliot，whileArthurstaredatherwithcompleteconfidenceinhisownlove。
BothRachelandEvelynthenbegantolistentowhatSusanwassaying。
“There’stheorderingandthedogsandthegarden，andthechildrencomingtobetaught，“hervoiceproceededrhythmicallyasifcheckingthelist，“andmytennis，andthevillage，andletterstowriteforfather，andathousandlittlethingsthatdon’tsoundmuch；
butIneverhaveamomenttomyself，andwhenIgottobed，I’msosleepyI’moffbeforemyheadtouchesthepillow。BesidesI
liketobeagreatdealwithmyAunts——I’magreatbore，aren’tI，AuntEmma？“(shesmiledatoldMrs。Paley，whowithheadslightlydroopedwasregardingthecakewithspeculativeaffection)，“andfatherhastobeverycarefulaboutchillsinwinterwhichmeansagreatdealofrunningabout，becausehewon’tlookafterhimself，anymorethanyouwill，Arthur！Soitallmountsup！“
Hervoicemountedtoo，inamildecstasyofsatisfactionwithherlifeandherownnature。RachelsuddenlytookaviolentdisliketoSusan，ignoringallthatwaskindly，modest，andevenpatheticabouther。
Sheappearedinsincereandcruel；shesawhergrownstoutandprolific，thekindblueeyesnowshallowandwatery，thebloomofthecheekscongealedtoanetworkofdryredcanals。
Helenturnedtoher。“Didyougotochurch？“sheasked。
Shehadwonhersixpenceandseemedmakingreadytogo。
“Yes，“saidRachel。“Forthelasttime，“sheadded。
Inpreparingtoputonhergloves，Helendroppedone。
“You’renotgoing？“Evelynasked，takingholdofonegloveasiftokeepthem。
“It’shightimewewent，“saidHelen。“Don’tyouseehowsilenteveryone’sgetting——？“
Asilencehadfallenuponthemall，causedpartlybyoneoftheaccidentsoftalk，andpartlybecausetheysawsomeoneapproaching。
Helencouldnotseewhoitwas，butkeepinghereyesfixeduponRachelobservedsomethingwhichmadehersaytoherself，“Soit’sHewet。“
Shedrewonhergloveswithacurioussenseofthesignificanceofthemoment。Thensherose，forMrs。FlushinghadseenHewettoo，andwasdemandinginformationaboutriversandboatswhichshowedthatthewholeconversationwouldnowcomeoveragain。
Rachelfollowedher，andtheywalkedinsilencedowntheavenue。
InspiteofwhatHelenhadseenandunderstood，thefeelingthatwasuppermostinhermindwasnowcuriouslyperverse；ifshewentonthisexpedition，shewouldnotbeabletohaveabath，theeffortappearedtohertobegreatanddisagreeable。
“It’ssounpleasant，beingcoopedupwithpeopleonehardlyknows，“
sheremarked。“Peoplewhomindbeingseennaked。“
“Youdon’tmeantogo？“Rachelasked。
TheintensitywithwhichthiswasspokenirritatedMrs。Ambrose。
“Idon’tmeantogo，andIdon’tmeannottogo，“shereplied。
Shebecamemoreandmorecasualandindifferent。
“Afterall，Idaresaywe’veseenallthereistobeseen；
andthere’sthebotherofgettingthere，andwhatevertheymaysayit’sboundtobevilelyuncomfortable。“
ForsometimeRachelmadenoreply；buteverysentenceHelenspokeincreasedherbitterness。Atlastshebrokeout——
“ThankGod，Helen，I’mnotlikeyou！Isometimesthinkyoudon’tthinkorfeelorcaretodoanythingbutexist！You’relikeMr。Hirst。
Youseethatthingsarebad，andyouprideyourselfonsayingso。
It’swhatyoucallbeinghonest；asamatteroffactit’sbeinglazy，beingdull，beingnothing。Youdon’thelp；youputanendtothings。“
Helensmiledasifsheratherenjoyedtheattack。
“Well？“sheenquired。
“Itseemstomebad——that’sall，“Rachelreplied。
“Quitelikely，“saidHelen。
AtanyothertimeRachelwouldprobablyhavebeensilencedbyherAunt’scandour；butthisafternoonshewasnotinthemoodtobesilencedbyanyone。Aquarrelwouldbewelcome。
“You’reonlyhalfalive，“shecontinued。
“IsthatbecauseIdidn’tacceptMr。Flushing’sinvitation？“
Helenasked，“ordoyoualwaysthinkthat？“
AtthemomentitappearedtoRachelthatshehadalwaysseenthesamefaultsinHelen，fromtheveryfirstnightonboardthe_Euphrosyne_，inspiteofherbeauty，inspiteofhermagnanimityandtheirlove。
“Oh，it’sonlywhat’sthematterwitheveryone！“sheexclaimed。
“Noonefeels——noonedoesanythingbuthurt。Itellyou，Helen，theworld’sbad。It’sanagony，living，wanting——“
Hereshetoreahandfulofleavesfromabushandcrushedthemtocontrolherself。
