第44章

类别:其他 作者:Virginia Woolf字数:5444更新时间:18/12/27 08:07:33
“Thelivesofthesepeople,“shetriedtoexplain,theaimlessness,thewaytheylive。Onegoesfromonetoanother,andit’sallthesame。 Onenevergetswhatonewantsoutofanyofthem。“ HeremotionalstateandherconfusionwouldhavemadeheraneasypreyifHelenhadwishedtoargueorhadwishedtodrawconfidences。 Butinsteadoftalkingshefellintoaprofoundsilenceastheywalkedon。Aimless,trivial,meaningless,ohno——whatshehadseenatteamadeitimpossibleforhertobelievethat。 Thelittlejokes,thechatter,theinanitiesoftheafternoonhadshrivelledupbeforehereyes。Underneaththelikingsandspites,thecomingstogetherandpartings,greatthingswerehappening—— terriblethings,becausetheyweresogreat。Hersenseofsafetywasshaken,asifbeneathtwigsanddeadleavesshehadseenthemovementofasnake。Itseemedtoherthatamoment’srespitewasallowed,amoment’smake-believe,andthenagaintheprofoundandreasonlesslawasserteditself,mouldingthemalltoitsliking,makinganddestroying。 ShelookedatRachelwalkingbesideher,stillcrushingtheleavesinherfingersandabsorbedinherownthoughts。Shewasinlove,andshepitiedherprofoundly。Butsherousedherselffromthesethoughtsandapologised。“I’mverysorry,“shesaid,“butifI’mdull,it’smynature,anditcan’tbehelped。“Ifitwasanaturaldefect,however,shefoundaneasyremedy,forshewentontosaythatshethoughtMr。Flushing’sschemeaverygoodone,onlyneedingalittleconsideration,whichitappearedshehadgivenitbythetimetheyreachedhome。Bythattimetheyhadsettledthatifanythingmorewassaid,theywouldaccepttheinvitation。 WhenconsideredindetailbyMr。FlushingandMrs。Ambrosetheexpeditionprovedneitherdangerousnordifficult。 Theyfoundalsothatitwasnotevenunusual。EveryyearatthisseasonEnglishpeoplemadepartieswhichsteamedashortwayuptheriver,landed,andlookedatthenativevillage,boughtacertainnumberofthingsfromthenatives,andreturnedagainwithoutdamagedonetomindorbody。Whenitwasdiscoveredthatsixpeoplereallywishedthesamethingthearrangementsweresooncarriedout。 SincethetimeofElizabethveryfewpeoplehadseentheriver,andnothinghasbeendonetochangeitsappearancefromwhatitwastotheeyesoftheElizabethanvoyagers。ThetimeofElizabethwasonlydistantfromthepresenttimebyamomentofspacecomparedwiththeageswhichhadpassedsincethewaterhadrunbetweenthosebanks,andthegreenthicketsswarmedthere,andthesmalltreeshadgrowntohugewrinkledtreesinsolitude。 Changingonlywiththechangeofthesunandtheclouds,thewavinggreenmasshadstoodthereforcenturyaftercentury,andthewaterhadrunbetweenitsbanksceaselessly,sometimeswashingawayearthandsometimesthebranchesoftrees,whileinotherpartsoftheworldonetownhadrisenupontheruinsofanothertown,andthemeninthetownshadbecomemoreandmorearticulateandunlikeeachother。Afewmilesofthisriverwerevisiblefromthetopofthemountainwheresomeweeksbeforethepartyfromthehotelhadpicnicked。SusanandArthurhadseenitastheykissedeachother,andTerenceandRachelastheysattalkingaboutRichmond,andEvelynandPerrottastheystrolledabout,imaginingthattheyweregreatcaptainssenttocolonisetheworld。 Theyhadseenthebroadbluemarkacrossthesandwhereitflowedintothesea,andthegreencloudoftreesmassthemselvesaboutitfartherup,andfinallyhideitswatersaltogetherfromsight。 Atintervalsforthefirsttwentymilesorsohouseswerescatteredonthebank;bydegreesthehousesbecamehuts,and,laterstill,therewasneitherhutnorhouse,buttreesandgrass,whichwereseenonlybyhunters,explorers,ormerchants,marchingorsailing,butmakingnosettlement。 ByleavingSantaMarinaearlyinthemorning,drivingtwentymilesandridingeight,theparty,whichwascomposedfinallyofsixEnglishpeople,reachedtheriver-sideasthenightfell。 Theycamecanteringthroughthetrees——Mr。andMrs。Flushing,HelenAmbrose,Rachel,Terence,andSt。John。Thetiredlittlehorsesthenstoppedautomatically,andtheEnglishdismounted。 Mrs。Flushingstrodetotheriver-bankinhighspirits。Thedayhadbeenlongandhot,butshehadenjoyedthespeedandtheopenair; shehadleftthehotelwhichshehated,andshefoundthecompanytoherliking。Theriverwasswirlingpastinthedarkness; theycouldjustdistinguishthesmoothmovingsurfaceofthewater,andtheairwasfullofthesoundofit。Theystoodinanemptyspaceinthemidstofgreattree-trunks,andouttherealittlegreenlightmovingslightlyupanddownshowedthemwherethesteamerlayinwhichtheyweretoembark。 Whentheyallstooduponitsdecktheyfoundthatitwasaverysmallboatwhichthrobbedgentlybeneaththemforafewminutes,andthenshovedsmoothlythroughthewater。Theyseemedtobedrivingintotheheartofthenight,forthetreesclosedinfrontofthem,andtheycouldhearallroundthemtherustlingofleaves。Thegreatdarknesshadtheusualeffectoftakingawayalldesireforcommunicationbymakingtheirwordssoundthinandsmall;and,afterwalkingroundthedeckthreeorfourtimes,theyclusteredtogether,yawningdeeply,andlookingatthesamespotofdeepgloomonthebanks。Murmuringverylowintherhythmicaltoneofoneoppressedbytheair,Mrs。Flushingbegantowonderwheretheyweretosleep,fortheycouldnotsleepdownstairs,theycouldnotsleepinadogholesmellingofoil,theycouldnotsleepondeck,theycouldnotsleep——Sheyawnedprofoundly。ItwasasHelenhadforeseen;thequestionofnakednesshadrisenalready,althoughtheywerehalfasleep,andalmostinvisibletoeachother。 WithSt。John’shelpshestretchedanawning,andpersuadedMrs。Flushingthatshecouldtakeoffherclothesbehindthis,andthatnoonewouldnoticeifbychancesomepartofherwhichhadbeenconcealedforforty-fiveyearswaslaidbaretothehumaneye。 Mattresseswerethrowndown,rugsprovided,andthethreewomenlayneareachotherinthesoftopenair。 Thegentlemen,havingsmokedacertainnumberofcigarettes,droppedtheglowingendsintotheriver,andlookedforatimeattherippleswrinklingtheblackwaterbeneaththem,undressedtoo,andlaydownattheotherendoftheboat。Theywereverytired,andcurtainedfromeachotherbythedarkness。Thelightfromonelanternfelluponafewropes,afewplanksofthedeck,andtherailoftheboat,butbeyondthattherewasunbrokendarkness,nolightreachedtheirfaces,orthetreeswhichweremassedonthesidesoftheriver。 SoonWilfridFlushingslept,andHirstslept。Hewetalonelayawakelookingstraightupintothesky。Thegentlemotionandtheblackshapesthatweredrawnceaselesslyacrosshiseyeshadtheeffectofmakingitimpossibleforhimtothink。Rachel’spresencesonearhimlulledthoughtasleep。Beingsonearhim,onlyafewpacesoffattheotherendoftheboat,shemadeitasimpossibleforhimtothinkaboutherasitwouldhavebeenimpossibletoseeherifshehadstoodquiteclosetohim,herforeheadagainsthisforehead。 Insomestrangewaytheboatbecameidentifiedwithhimself,andjustasitwouldhavebeenuselessforhimtogetupandsteertheboat,sowasituselessforhimtostruggleanylongerwiththeirresistibleforceofhisownfeelings。Hewasdrawnonandonawayfromallheknew,slippingoverbarriersandpastlandmarksintounknownwatersastheboatglidedoverthesmoothsurfaceoftheriver。 Inprofoundpeace,envelopedindeeperunconsciousnessthanhadbeenhisformanynights,helayondeckwatchingthetree-topschangetheirpositionslightlyagainstthesky,andarchthemselves,andsinkandtowerhuge,untilhepassedfromseeingthemintodreamswherehelaybeneaththeshadowofthevasttrees,lookingupintothesky。 Whentheywokenextmorningtheyhadgoneaconsiderablewayuptheriver;ontherightwasahighyellowbankofsandtuftedwithtrees,ontheleftaswampquiveringwithlongreedsandtallbamboosonthetopofwhich,swayingslightly,perchedvividgreenandyellowbirds。Themorningwashotandstill。Afterbreakfasttheydrewchairstogetherandsatinanirregularsemicircleinthebow。 Anawningabovetheirheadsprotectedthemfromtheheatofthesun,andthebreezewhichtheboatmadeairedthemsoftly。Mrs。Flushingwasalreadydottingandstripinghercanvas,herheadjerkingthiswayandthatwiththeactionofabirdnervouslypickingupgrain; theothershadbooksorpiecesofpaperorembroideryontheirknees,atwhichtheylookedfitfullyandagainlookedattheriverahead。 AtonepointHewetreadpartofapoemaloud,butthenumberofmovingthingsentirelyvanquishedhiswords。Heceasedtoread,andnoonespoke。Theymovedonundertheshelterofthetrees。 Therewasnowacoveyofredbirdsfeedingononeofthelittleisletstotheleft,oragainablue-greenparrotflewshriekingfromtreetotree。Astheymovedonthecountrygrewwilderandwilder。 Thetreesandtheundergrowthseemedtobestranglingeachothernearthegroundinamultitudinouswrestle;whilehereandthereasplendidtreetoweredhighabovetheswarm,shakingitsthingreenumbrellaslightlyintheupperair。Hewetlookedathisbooksagain。 Themorningwaspeacefulasthenighthadbeen,onlyitwasverystrangebecausehecouldseeitwaslight,andhecouldseeRachelandhearhervoiceandbeneartoher。Hefeltasifhewerewaiting,asifsomehowhewerestationaryamongthingsthatpassedoverhimandaroundhim,voices,people’sbodies,birds,onlyRacheltoowaswaitingwithhim。Helookedathersometimesasifshemustknowthattheywerewaitingtogether,andbeingdrawnontogether,withoutbeingabletoofferanyresistance。Againhereadfromhisbook: Whoeveryouareholdingmenowinyourhand,Withoutonethingallwillbeuseless。 Abirdgaveawildlaugh,amonkeychuckledamaliciousquestion,and,asfirefadesinthehotsunshine,hiswordsflickeredandwentout。 Bydegreesastherivernarrowed,andthehighsandbanksfelltolevelgroundthicklygrownwithtrees,thesoundsoftheforestcouldbeheard。Itechoedlikeahall。Thereweresuddencries; andthenlongspacesofsilence,suchasthereareinacathedralwhenaboy’svoicehasceasedandtheechoofitstillseemstohauntabouttheremoteplacesoftheroof。OnceMr。Flushingroseandspoketoasailor,andevenannouncedthatsometimeafterluncheonthesteamerwouldstop,andtheycouldwalkalittlewaythroughtheforest。 “Therearetracksallthroughthetreesthere,“heexplained。 “We’renodistancefromcivilisationyet。“ Hescrutinisedhiswife’spainting。Toopolitetopraiseitopenly,hecontentedhimselfwithcuttingoffonehalfofthepicturewithonehand,andgivingaflourishintheairwiththeother。 “God!“Hirstexclaimed,staringstraightahead。“Don’tyouthinkit’samazinglybeautiful?“ “Beautiful?“Helenenquired。Itseemedastrangelittleword,andHirstandherselfbothsosmallthatsheforgottoanswerhim。 Hewetfeltthathemustspeak。 “That’swheretheElizabethansgottheirstyle,“hemused,staringintotheprofusionofleavesandblossomsandprodigiousfruits。 “Shakespeare?IhateShakespeare!“Mrs。Flushingexclaimed; andWilfridreturnedadmiringly,“Ibelieveyou’retheonlypersonwhodarestosaythat,Alice。“ButMrs。Flushingwentonpainting。 Shedidnotappeartoattachmuchvaluetoherhusband’scompliment,andpaintedsteadily,sometimesmutteringahalf-audiblewordorgroan。 Themorningwasnowveryhot。 “LookatHirst!“Mr。Flushingwhispered。Hissheetofpaperhadslippedontothedeck,hisheadlayback,andhedrewalongsnoringbreath。 TerencepickedupthesheetofpaperandspreaditoutbeforeRachel。 ItwasacontinuationofthepoemonGodwhichhehadbeguninthechapel,anditwassoindecentthatRacheldidnotunderstandhalfofitalthoughshesawthatitwasindecent。 HewetbegantofillinwordswhereHirsthadleftspaces,buthesoonceased;hispencilrolledondeck。Graduallytheyapproachednearerandnearertothebankontheright-handside,sothatthelightwhichcoveredthembecamedefinitelygreen,fallingthroughashadeofgreenleaves,andMrs。Flushingsetasidehersketchandstaredaheadofherinsilence。Hirstwokeup; theywerethencalledtoluncheon,andwhiletheyateit,thesteamercametoastandstillalittlewayoutfromthebank。 Theboatwhichwastowedbehindthemwasbroughttotheside,andtheladieswerehelpedintoit。