Hetoldhernotonlywhathadhappened，butwhathehadthoughtandfelt，andsketchedforherportraitswhichfascinatedherofwhatothermenandwomenmightbesupposedtobethinkingandfeeling，sothatshebecameveryanxioustogobacktoEngland，whichwasfullofpeople，whereshecouldmerelystandinthestreetsandlookatthem。
Accordingtohim，too，therewasanorder，apatternwhichmadelifereasonable，orifthatwordwasfoolish，madeitofdeepinterestanyhow，forsometimesitseemedpossibletounderstandwhythingshappenedastheydid。Norwerepeoplesosolitaryanduncommunicativeasshebelieved。Sheshouldlookforvanity——
forvanitywasacommonquality——firstinherself，andtheninHelen，inRidley，inSt。John，theyallhadtheirshareofit——
andshewouldfinditintenpeopleoutofeverytwelveshemet；
andoncelinkedtogetherbyonesuchtieshewouldfindthemnotseparateandformidable，butpracticallyindistinguishable，andshewouldcometolovethemwhenshefoundthattheywerelikeherself。
Ifshedeniedthis，shemustdefendherbeliefthathumanbeingswereasvariousasthebeastsattheZoo，whichhadstripesandmanes，andhornsandhumps；andso，wrestlingovertheentirelistoftheiracquaintances，anddivergingintoanecdoteandtheoryandspeculation，theycametoknoweachother。
Thehourspassedquickly，andseemedtothemfulltoleaking-point。
Afteranight’ssolitudetheywerealwaysreadytobeginagain。
ThevirtueswhichMrs。Ambrosehadoncebelievedtoexistinfreetalkbetweenmenandwomendidintruthexistforbothofthem，althoughnotquiteinthemeasuresheprescribed。
Farmorethanuponthenatureofsextheydweltuponthenatureofpoetry，butitwastruethattalkwhichhadnoboundariesdeepenedandenlargedthestrangelysmallbrightviewofagirl。
Inreturnforwhathecouldtellhershebroughthimsuchcuriosityandsensitivenessofperception，thathewasledtodoubtwhetheranygiftbestowedbymuchreadingandlivingwasquitetheequalofthatforpleasureandpain。Whatwouldexperiencegiveherafterall，exceptakindofridiculousformalbalance，likethatofadrilleddoginthestreet？Helookedatherfaceandwonderedhowitwouldlookintwentyyears’time，whentheeyeshaddulled，andtheforeheadworethoselittlepersistentwrinkleswhichseemtoshowthatthemiddle-agedarefacingsomethinghardwhichtheyoungdonotsee？Whatwouldthehardthingbeforthem，hewondered？ThenhisthoughtsturnedtotheirlifeinEngland。
ThethoughtofEnglandwasdelightful，fortogethertheywouldseetheoldthingsfreshly；itwouldbeEnglandinJune，andtherewouldbeJunenightsinthecountry；andthenightingalessinginginthelanes，intowhichtheycouldstealwhentheroomgrewhot；andtherewouldbeEnglishmeadowsgleamingwithwaterandsetwithstolidcows，andcloudsdippinglowandtrailingacrossthegreenhills。
Ashesatintheroomwithher，hewishedveryoftentobebackagaininthethickoflife，doingthingswithRachel。
Hecrossedtothewindowandexclaimed，“Lord，howgooditistothinkoflanes，muddylanes，withbramblesandnettles，youknow，andrealgrassfields，andfarmyardswithpigsandcows，andmenwalkingbesidecartswithpitchforks——there’snothingtocomparewiththathere——lookatthestonyredearth，andthebrightbluesea，andtheglaringwhitehouses——howtiredonegetsofit！Andtheair，withoutastainorawrinkle。I’dgiveanythingforaseamist。“
Rachel，too，hadbeenthinkingoftheEnglishcountry:theflatlandrollingawaytothesea，andthewoodsandthelongstraightroads，whereonecanwalkformileswithoutseeinganyone，andthegreatchurchtowersandthecurioushousesclusteredinthevalleys，andthebirds，andthedusk，andtherainfallingagainstthewindows。
“ButLondon，London’stheplace，“Terencecontinued。Theylookedtogetheratthecarpet，asthoughLondonitselfweretobeseentherelyingonthefloor，withallitsspiresandpinnaclesprickingthroughthesmoke。
“Onthewhole，whatIshouldlikebestatthismoment，“
Terencepondered，“wouldbetofindmyselfwalkingdownKingsway，bythosebigplacards，youknow，andturningintotheStrand。
PerhapsImightgoandlookoverWaterlooBridgeforamoment。
ThenI’dgoalongtheStrandpasttheshopswithallthenewbooksinthem，andthroughthelittlearchwayintotheTemple。
Ialwayslikethequietaftertheuproar。Youhearyourownfootstepssuddenlyquiteloud。TheTemple’sverypleasant。IthinkIshouldgoandseeifIcouldfinddearoldHodgkin——themanwhowritesbooksaboutVanEyck，youknow。WhenIleftEnglandhewasverysadabouthistamemagpie。Hesuspectedthatamanhadpoisonedit。
AndthenRusselllivesonthenextstaircase。Ithinkyou’dlikehim。He’sapassionforHandel。Well，Rachel，“heconcluded，dismissingthevisionofLondon，“weshallbedoingthattogetherinsixweeks’time，andit’llbethemiddleofJunethen——andJuneinLondon——myGod！howpleasantitallis！“
“Andwe’recertaintohaveittoo，“shesaid。“Itisn’tasifwewereexpectingagreatdeal——onlytowalkaboutandlookatthings。“
“Onlyathousandayearandperfectfreedom，“hereplied。
“HowmanypeopleinLondond’youthinkhavethat？“
“Andnowyou’vespoiltit，“shecomplained。“Nowwe’vegottothinkofthehorrors。“Shelookedgrudginglyatthenovelwhichhadoncecausedherperhapsanhour’sdiscomfort，sothatshehadneveropeneditagain，butkeptitonhertable，andlookedatitoccasionally，assomemedievalmonkkeptaskull，oracrucifixtoremindhimofthefrailtyofthebody。
“Isittrue，Terence，“shedemanded，“thatwomendiewithbugscrawlingacrosstheirfaces？“
“Ithinkit’sveryprobable，“hesaid。“Butyoumustadmit，Rachel，thatwesoseldomthinkofanythingbutourselvesthatanoccasionaltwingeisreallyratherpleasant。“
Accusinghimofanaffectionofcynicismwhichwasjustasbadassentimentalityitself，sheleftherpositionbyhissideandkneltuponthewindowsill，twistingthecurtaintasselsbetweenherfingers。
Avaguesenseofdissatisfactionfilledher。
“What’ssodetestableinthiscountry，“sheexclaimed，“istheblue——
alwaysblueskyandbluesea。It’slikeacurtain——allthethingsonewantsareontheothersideofthat。Iwanttoknowwhat’sgoingonbehindit。Ihatethesedivisions，don’tyou，Terence？Onepersonallinthedarkaboutanotherperson。NowIlikedtheDalloways，“
shecontinued，“andthey’regone。Ishallneverseethemagain。
Justbygoingonashipwecutourselvesoffentirelyfromtherestoftheworld。IwanttoseeEnglandthere——Londonthere——allsortsofpeople——whyshouldn’tone？whyshouldonebeshutupallbyoneselfinaroom？“
Whileshespokethushalftoherselfandwithincreasingvagueness，becausehereyewascaughtbyashipthathadjustcomeintothebay，shedidnotseethatTerencehadceasedtostarecontentedlyinfrontofhim，andwaslookingatherkeenlyandwithdissatisfaction。
Sheseemedtobeabletocutherselfadriftfromhim，andtopassawaytounknownplaceswhereshehadnoneedofhim。Thethoughtrousedhisjealousy。
“Isometimesthinkyou’renotinlovewithmeandneverwillbe，“
hesaidenergetically。Shestartedandturnedroundathiswords。
“Idon’tsatisfyyouinthewayyousatisfyme，“hecontinued。
“There’ssomethingIcan’tgetholdofinyou。Youdon’twantmeasIwantyou——you’realwayswantingsomethingelse。“
Hebeganpacingupanddowntheroom。
“PerhapsIasktoomuch，“hewenton。“Perhapsitisn’treallypossibletohavewhatIwant。Menandwomenaretoodifferent。
Youcan’tunderstand——youdon’tunderstand——“
Hecameuptowhereshestoodlookingathiminsilence。
Itseemedtohernowthatwhathewassayingwasperfectlytrue，andthatshewantedmanymorethingsthantheloveofonehumanbeing——
thesea，thesky。Sheturnedagainthelookedatthedistantblue，whichwassosmoothandserenewheretheskymetthesea；shecouldnotpossiblywantonlyonehumanbeing。
“Orisitonlythisdamnableengagement？“hecontinued。“Let’sbemarriedhere，beforewegoback——orisittoogreatarisk？
Arewesurewewanttomarryeachother？“
Theybeganpacingupanddowntheroom，butalthoughtheycameveryneareachotherintheirpacing，theytookcarenottotoucheachother。Thehopelessnessoftheirpositionovercamethemboth。
Theywereimpotent；theycouldneverloveeachothersufficientlytoovercomeallthesebarriers，andtheycouldneverbesatisfiedwithless。Realisingthiswithintolerablekeennessshestoppedinfrontofhimandexclaimed:
“Let’sbreakitoff，then。“
Thewordsdidmoretounitethemthananyamountofargument。
Asiftheystoodontheedgeofaprecipicetheyclungtogether。
Theyknewthattheycouldnotseparate；painfulandterribleitmightbe，buttheywerejoinedforever。Theylapsedintosilence，andafteratimecrepttogetherinsilence。Merelytobesoclosesoothedthem，andsittingsidebysidethedivisionsdisappeared，anditseemedasiftheworldwereoncemoresolidandentire，andasif，insomestrangeway，theyhadgrownlargerandstronger。
Itwaslongbeforetheymoved，andwhentheymoveditwaswithgreatreluctance。Theystoodtogetherinfrontofthelooking-glass，andwithabrushtriedtomakethemselveslookasiftheyhadbeenfeelingnothingallthemorning，neitherpainnorhappiness。
Butitchilledthemtoseethemselvesintheglass，forinsteadofbeingvastandindivisibletheywerereallyverysmallandseparate，thesizeoftheglassleavingalargespaceforthereflectionofotherthings。
Butnobrushwasabletoeffacecompletelytheexpressionofhappiness，sothatMrs。Ambrosecouldnottreatthemwhentheycamedownstairsasiftheyhadspentthemorninginawaythatcouldbediscussednaturally。
Thisbeingso，shejoinedintheworld’sconspiracytoconsiderthemforthetimeincapacitatedfromthebusinessoflife，struckbytheirintensityoffeelingintoenmityagainstlife，andalmostsucceededindismissingthemfromherthoughts。
Shereflectedthatshehaddoneallthatitwasnecessarytodoinpracticalmatters。Shehadwrittenagreatmanyletters，andhadobtainedWilloughby’sconsent。ShehaddweltsooftenuponMr。Hewet’sprospects，hisprofession，hisbirth，appearance，andtemperament，thatshehadalmostforgottenwhathewasreallylike。Whensherefreshedherselfbyalookathim，sheusedtowonderagainwhathewaslike，andthen，concludingthattheywerehappyatanyrate，thoughtnomoreaboutit。
Shemightmoreprofitablyconsiderwhatwouldhappeninthreeyears’
time，orwhatmighthavehappenedifRachelhadbeenlefttoexploretheworldunderherfather’sguidance。Theresult，shewashonestenoughtoown，mighthavebeenbetter——whoknows？
ShedidnotdisguisefromherselfthatTerencehadfaults。Shewasinclinedtothinkhimtooeasyandtolerant，justashewasinclinedtothinkherperhapsatriflehard——no，itwasratherthatshewasuncompromising。InsomewaysshefoundSt。Johnpreferable；
butthen，ofcourse，hewouldneverhavesuitedRachel。
HerfriendshipwithSt。Johnwasestablished，foralthoughshefluctuatedbetweenirritationandinterestinawaythatdidcredittothecandourofherdisposition，shelikedhiscompanyonthewhole。
Hetookheroutsidethislittleworldofloveandemotion。
Hehadagraspoffacts。Supposing，forinstance，thatEnglandmadeasuddenmovetowardssomeunknownportonthecoastofMorocco，St。Johnknewwhatwasatthebackofit，andtohearhimengagedwithherhusbandinargumentaboutfinanceandthebalanceofpower，gaveheranoddsenseofstability。Sherespectedtheirargumentswithoutalwayslisteningtothem，muchassherespectedasolidbrickwall，oroneofthoseimmensemunicipalbuildingswhich，althoughtheycomposethegreaterpartofourcities，havebeenbuiltdayafterdayandyearafteryearbyunknownhands。Shelikedtositandlisten，andevenfeltalittleelatedwhentheengagedcouple，aftershowingtheirprofoundlackofinterest，slippedfromtheroom，andwereseenpullingflowerstopiecesinthegarden。Itwasnotthatshewasjealousofthem，butshedidundoubtedlyenvythemtheirgreatunknownfuturethatlaybeforethem。Slippingfromonesuchthoughttoanother，shewasatthedining-roomwithfruitinherhands。Sometimesshestoppedtostraightenacandlestoopingwiththeheat，ordisturbedsometoorigidarrangementofthechairs。
ShehadreasontosuspectthatChaileyhadbeenbalancingherselfonthetopofaladderwithawetdusterduringtheirabsence，andtheroomhadneverbeenquitelikeitselfsince。Returningfromthedining-roomforthethirdtime，sheperceivedthatoneofthearm-chairswasnowoccupiedbySt。John。Helaybackinit，withhiseyeshalfshut，looking，ashealwaysdid，curiouslybuttonedupinaneatgreysuitandfencedagainsttheexuberanceofaforeignclimatewhichmightatanymomentproceedtotakelibertieswithhim。
Hereyesrestedonhimgentlyandthenpassedonoverhishead。
Finallyshetookthechairopposite。
