第51章

类别:其他 作者:Virginia Woolf字数:5036更新时间:18/12/27 08:07:33
“Ididn’twanttocomehere,“hesaidatlast,“butIwaspositivelydriventoit……EvelynM。,“hegroaned。 Hesatup,andbegantoexplainwithmocksolemnityhowthedetestablewomanwassetuponmarryinghim。 “Shepursuesmeabouttheplace。Thismorningsheappearedinthesmoking-room。AllIcoulddowastoseizemyhatandfly。 Ididn’twanttocome,butIcouldn’tstayandfaceanothermealwithher。“ “Well,wemustmakethebestofit,“Helenrepliedphilosophically。 Itwasveryhot,andtheywereindifferenttoanyamountofsilence,sothattheylaybackintheirchairswaitingforsomethingtohappen。 Thebellrangforluncheon,buttherewasnosoundofmovementinthehouse。Wasthereanynews?Helenasked;anythinginthepapers? St。Johnshookhishead。Oyes,hehadaletterfromhome,aletterfromhismother,describingthesuicideoftheparlour-maid。ShewascalledSusanJane,andshecameintothekitchenoneafternoon,andsaidthatshewantedcooktokeephermoneyforher;shehadtwentypoundsingold。Thenshewentouttobuyherselfahat。 Shecameinathalf-pastfiveandsaidthatshehadtakenpoison。 Theyhadonlyjusttimetogetherintobedandcalladoctorbeforeshedied。 “Well?“Helenenquired。 “There’llhavetobeaninquest,“saidSt。John。 Whyhadshedoneit?Heshruggedhisshoulders。Whydopeoplekillthemselves?Whydothelowerordersdoanyofthethingstheydodo?Nobodyknows。Theysatinsilence。 “Thebell’srunfifteenminutesandthey’renotdown,“saidHelenatlength。 Whentheyappeared,St。Johnexplainedwhyithadbeennecessaryforhimtocometoluncheon。HeimitatedEvelyn’senthusiastictoneassheconfrontedhiminthesmoking-room。“Shethinkstherecanbenothing_quite_sothrillingasmathematics,soI’velentheralargeworkintwovolumes。It’llbeinterestingtoseewhatshemakesofit。“ Rachelcouldnowaffordtolaughathim。SheremindedhimofGibbon; shehadthefirstvolumesomewherestill;ifhewereundertakingtheeducationofEvelyn,thatsurelywasthetest;orshehadheardthatBurke,upontheAmericanRebellion——Evelynoughttoreadthembothsimultaneously。WhenSt。Johnhaddisposedofherargumentandhadsatisfiedhishunger,heproceededtotellthemthatthehotelwasseethingwithscandals,someofthemostappallingkind,whichhadhappenedintheirabsence;hewasindeedmuchgiventothestudyofhiskind。 “EvelynM。,forexample——butthatwastoldmeinconfidence。“ “Nonsense!“Terenceinterposed。 “You’veheardaboutpoorSinclair,too?“ “Oh,yes,I’veheardaboutSinclair。He’sretiredtohisminewitharevolver。HewritestoEvelyndailythathe’sthinkingofcommittingsuicide。I’veassuredherthathe’sneverbeensohappyinhislife,and,onthewhole,she’sinclinedtoagreewithme。“ “Butthenshe’sentangledherselfwithPerrott,“St。Johncontinued; “andIhavereasontothink,fromsomethingIsawinthepassage,thateverythingisn’tasitshouldbebetweenArthurandSusan。 There’sayoungfemalelatelyarrivedfromManchester。Averygoodthingifitwerebrokenoff,inmyopinion。Theirmarriedlifeissomethingtoohorribletocontemplate。 Oh,andIdistinctlyheardoldMrs。PaleyrappingoutthemostfearfuloathsasIpassedherbedroomdoor。It’ssupposedthatshetortureshermaidinprivate——it’spracticallycertainshedoes。 Onecantellitfromthelookinhereyes。“ “Whenyou’reeightyandthegouttweezesyou,you’llbeswearinglikeatrooper,“Terenceremarked。“You’llbeveryfat,verytesty,verydisagreeable。Can’tyouimaginehim——baldasacoot,withapairofsponge-bagtrousers,alittlespottedtie,andacorporation?“ AfterapauseHirstremarkedthattheworstinfamyhadstilltobetold。HeaddressedhimselftoHelen。 “They’vehoofedouttheprostitute。OnenightwhilewewereawaythatoldnumskullThornburywasdodderingaboutthepassagesverylate。 (Nobodyseemstohaveaskedhimwhat_he_wasupto。)HesawtheSignoraLolaMendoza,asshecallsherself,crossthepassageinhernightgown。HecommunicatedhissuspicionsnextmorningtoElliot,withtheresultthatRodriguezwenttothewomanandgavehertwenty-fourhoursinwhichtoclearoutoftheplace。 Nooneseemstohaveenquiredintothetruthofthestory,ortohaveaskedThornburyandElliotwhatbusinessitwasoftheirs; theyhaditentirelytheirownway。IproposethatweshouldallsignaRoundRobin,gotoRodriguezinabody,andinsistuponafullenquiry。Something’sgottobedone,don’tyouagree?“ Hewetremarkedthattherecouldbenodoubtastothelady’sprofession。 “Still,“headded,“it’sagreatshame,poorwoman;onlyIdon’tseewhat’stobedone——“ “Iquiteagreewithyou,St。John,“Helenburstout。“It’smonstrous。 ThehypocriticalsmugnessoftheEnglishmakesmybloodboil。 Amanwho’smadeafortuneintradeasMr。Thornburyhasisboundtobetwiceasbadasanyprostitute。“ SherespectedSt。John’smorality,whichshetookfarmoreseriouslythananyoneelsedid,andnowenteredintoadiscussionwithhimastothestepsthatweretobetakentoenforcetheirpeculiarviewofwhatwasright。Theargumentledtosomeprofoundlygloomystatementsofageneralnature。Whowerethey,afterall—— whatauthorityhadthey——whatpoweragainstthemassofsuperstitionandignorance?ItwastheEnglish,ofcourse;theremustbesomethingwrongintheEnglishblood。DirectlyyoumetanEnglishperson,ofthemiddleclasses,youwereconsciousofanindefinablesensationofloathing;directlyyousawthebrowncrescentofhousesaboveDover,thesamethingcameoveryou。ButunfortunatelySt。Johnadded,youcouldn’ttrusttheseforeigners—— Theywereinterruptedbysoundsofstrifeatthefurtherendofthetable。Rachelappealedtoheraunt。 “TerencesayswemustgototeawithMrs。Thornburybecauseshe’sbeensokind,butIdon’tseeit;infact,I’dratherhavemyrighthandsawninpieces——justimagine!theeyesofallthosewomen!“ “Fiddlesticks,Rachel,“Terencereplied。“Whowantstolookatyou? You’reconsumedwithvanity!You’reamonsterofconceit! Surely,Helen,yououghttohavetaughtherbythistimethatshe’sapersonofnoconceivableimportancewhatever——notbeautiful,orwelldressed,orconspicuousforeleganceorintellect,ordeportment。Amoreordinarysightthanyouare,“heconcluded,“exceptforthetearacrossyourdresshasneverbeenseen。 However,stayathomeifyouwantto。I’mgoing。“ Sheappealedagaintoheraunt。Itwasn’tthebeinglookedat,sheexplained,butthethingspeopleweresuretosay。Thewomeninparticular。 Shelikedwomen,butwhereemotionwasconcernedtheywereasfliesonalumpofsugar。Theywouldbecertaintoaskherquestions。 EvelynM。wouldsay:“Areyouinlove?Isitnicebeinginlove?“ AndMrs。Thornbury——hereyeswouldgoupanddown,upanddown—— sheshudderedatthethoughtofit。Indeed,theretirementoftheirlifesincetheirengagementhadmadehersosensitive,thatshewasnotexaggeratinghercase。 ShefoundanallyinHelen,whoproceededtoexpoundherviewsofthehumanrace,assheregardedwithcomplacencythepyramidofvariegatedfruitsinthecentreofthetable。Itwasn’tthattheywerecruel,ormeanttohurt,orevenstupidexactly; butshehadalwaysfoundthattheordinarypersonhadsolittleemotioninhisownlifethatthescentofitinthelivesofotherswaslikethescentofbloodinthenostrilsofabloodhound。 Warmingtothetheme,shecontinued: “Directlyanythinghappens——itmaybeamarriage,orabirth,oradeath——onthewholetheypreferittobeadeath——everyonewantstoseeyou。Theyinsistuponseeingyou。They’vegotnothingtosay;theydon’tcarearapforyou;butyou’vegottogotolunchortoteaortodinner,andifyoudon’tyou’redamned。 It’sthesmellofblood,“shecontinued;“Idon’tblame’em;onlytheyshan’thavemindifIknowit!“ Shelookedaboutherasifshehadcalledupalegionofhumanbeings,allhostileandalldisagreeable,whoencircledthetable,withmouthsgapingforblood,andmadeitappearalittleislandofneutralcountryinthemidstoftheenemy’scountry。 Herwordsrousedherhusband,whohadbeenmutteringrhythmicallytohimself,surveyinghisguestsandhisfoodandhiswifewitheyesthatwerenowmelancholyandnowfierce,accordingtothefortunesoftheladyinhisballad。HecutHelenshortwithaprotest。 Hehatedeventhesemblanceofcynicisminwomen。“Nonsense,nonsense,“ heremarkedabruptly。 TerenceandRachelglancedateachotheracrossthetable,whichmeantthatwhentheyweremarriedtheywouldnotbehavelikethat。 TheentranceofRidleyintotheconversationhadastrangeeffect。 Itbecameatoncemoreformalandmorepolite。Itwouldhavebeenimpossibletotalkquiteeasilyofanythingthatcameintotheirheads,andtosaythewordprostituteassimplyasanyotherword。 Thetalknowturneduponliteratureandpolitics,andRidleytoldstoriesofthedistinguishedpeoplehehadknowninhisyouth。 Suchtalkwasofthenatureofanart,andthepersonalitiesandinformalitiesoftheyoungweresilenced。Astheyrosetogo,Helenstoppedforamoment,leaningherelbowsonthetable。 “You’veallbeensittinghere,“shesaid,“foralmostanhour,andyouhaven’tnoticedmyfigs,ormyflowers,orthewaythelightcomesthrough,oranything。Ihaven’tbeenlistening,becauseI’vebeenlookingatyou。Youlookedverybeautiful; Iwishyou’dgoonsittingforever。“ Sheledthewaytothedrawing-room,whereshetookupherembroidery,andbeganagaintodissuadeTerencefromwalkingdowntothehotelinthisheat。Butthemoreshedissuaded,themorehewasdeterminedtogo。Hebecameirritatedandobstinate。 Thereweremomentswhentheyalmostdislikedeachother。 Hewantedotherpeople;hewantedRachel,toseethemwithhim。 HesuspectedthatMrs。Ambrosewouldnowtrytodissuadeherfromgoing。Hewasannoyedbyallthisspaceandshadeandbeauty,andHirst,recumbent,droopingamagazinefromhiswrist。 “I’mgoing,“herepeated。“Rachelneedn’tcomeunlessshewantsto。“ “Ifyougo,Hewet,Iwishyou’dmakeenquiriesabouttheprostitute,“ saidHirst。“Lookhere,“headded,“I’llwalkhalfthewaywithyou。“ Greatlytotheirsurpriseheraisedhimself,lookedathiswatch,andremarkedthat,asitwasnowhalfanhoursinceluncheon,thegastricjuiceshadhadsufficienttimetosecrete;hewastryingasystem,heexplained,whichinvolvedshortspellsofexerciseinterspacedbylongerintervalsofrest。 “Ishallbebackatfour,“heremarkedtoHelen,“whenIshallliedownonthesofaandrelaxallmymusclescompletely。“ “Soyou’regoing,Rachel?“Helenasked。“Youwon’tstaywithme?“ Shesmiled,butshemighthavebeensad。 Wasshesad,orwasshereallylaughing?Rachelcouldnottell,andshefeltforthemomentveryuncomfortablebetweenHelenandTerence。 Thensheturnedaway,sayingmerelythatshewouldgowithTerence,onconditionthathedidallthetalking。 Anarrowborderofshadowranalongtheroad,whichwasbroadenoughfortwo,butnotbroadenoughforthree。St。Johnthereforedroppedalittlebehindthepair,andthedistancebetweenthemincreasedbydegrees。Walkingwithaviewtodigestion,andwithoneeyeuponhiswatch,helookedfromtimetotimeatthepairinfrontofhim。Theyseemedtobesohappy,sointimate,althoughtheywerewalkingsidebysidemuchasotherpeoplewalk。 Theyturnedslightlytowardeachothernowandthen,andsaidsomethingwhichhethoughtmustbesomethingveryprivate。