第19章

Andthenwhentheyhaddiscussedallthis，whenthefatherhadtoldalltothechild，shecouldnotbelessconfidingthanhehadbeen；andasJohnBold’snamewasmentionedbetweenthem，sheownedhowwellshehadlearnedtolovehim——’hadlovedhimonce，’shesaid，’butshewouldnot，couldnotdosonow——no，evenhadhertrothbeenplightedtohim，shewouldhavetakenitbackagain——hadshesworntolovehimashiswife，shewouldhavediscardedhim，andnotfeltherselfforsworn，whenheprovedhimselftheenemyofherfather。’ ButthewardendeclaredthatBoldwasnoenemyofhis，andencouragedherlove；andgentlyrebuked，ashekissedher，thesternresolveshehadmadetocasthimoff；andthenhespoketoherofhappierdayswhentheirtrialswouldallbeover；anddeclaredthatheryoungheartshouldnotbetornasundertopleaseeitherpriestorprelate，deanorarchdeacon。 No，notifallOxfordweretoconvocatetogether，andagreeastothenecessityofthesacrifice。 Andsotheygreatlycomfortedeachother——andinwhatsorrowwillnotsuchmutualconfidencegiveconsolation！—— andwithalastexpressionoftenderlovetheyparted，andwentcomparativelyhappytotheirrooms。 IphigeniaWhenEleanorlaidherheadonherpillowthatnight，hermindwasanxiouslyintentonsomeplanbywhichshemightextricateherfatherfromhismisery；and，inherwarm-heartedenthusiasm，self-sacrificewasdecidedonasthemeanstobeadopted。WasnotsogoodanAgamemnonworthyofanIphigenia？ShewouldherselfpersonallyimploreJohnBoldtodesistfromhisundertaking；shewouldexplaintohimherfather’ssorrows，thecruelmiseryofhisposition； shewouldtellhimhowherfatherwoulddieifhewerethusdraggedbeforethepublicandexposedtosuchunmeritedignominy；shewouldappealtohisoldfriendship，tohisgenerosity，tohismanliness，tohismercy；ifneedwere，shewouldkneeltohimforthefavourshewouldask；butbeforeshedidthistheideaoflovemustbebanished。Theremustbenobargaininthematter。Tohismercy，tohisgenerosity，shecouldappeal；butasapuremaiden，hithertoevenunsolicited，shecouldnotappealtohislove，norundersuchcircumstancescouldsheallowhimtodoso。Ofcourse，whensoprovokedhewoulddeclarehispassion；thatwastobeexpected；therehadbeenenoughbetweenthemtomakesuchafactsure；butitwasequallycertainthathemustberejected。Shecouldnotbeunderstoodassaying，MakemyfatherfreeandIamthereward。Therewouldbenosacrificeinthat——notsohadJephthah’sdaughtersavedherfather—— notsocouldsheshowtothatkindest，dearestofparentshowmuchshewasabletobearforhisgood。No；tooneresolvemustherwholesoulbebound；andsoresolving，shefeltthatshecouldmakehergreatrequesttoBoldwithasmuchself- assuredconfidenceasshecouldhavedonetohisgrandfather。 AndnowIownIhavefearsformyheroine；notastotheupshotofhermission——notintheleastastothat；astothefullsuccessofhergenerousscheme，andtheultimateresultofsuchaproject，nooneconversantwithhumannatureandnovelscanhaveadoubt；butastotheamountofsympathyshemayreceivefromthoseofherownsex。Girlsbelowtwentyandoldladiesabovesixtywilldoherjustice；forinthefemaleheartthesoftspringsofsweetromancereopenaftermanyyears，andagaingushoutwithwaterspureasinearlierdays，andgreatlyrefreshthepaththatleadsdownwardstothegrave。ButIfearthatthemajorityofthosebetweenthesetwoeraswillnotapproveofEleanor’splan。Ifearthatunmarriedladiesofthirty-fivewilldeclarethattherecanbenoprobabilityofsoabsurdaprojectbeingcarriedthrough；thatyoungwomenontheirkneesbeforetheirloversaresuretogetkissed，andthattheywouldnotputthemselvesinsuchapositiondidtheynotexpectit； thatEleanorisgoingtoBoldonlybecausecircumstancespreventBoldfromcomingtoher；thatsheiscertainlyalittlefool，oralittleschemer，butthatinallprobabilitysheisthinkingagooddealmoreaboutherselfthanherfather。 Dearladies，youarerightastoyourappreciationofthecircumstances，butverywrongastoMissHarding’scharacter。 MissHardingwasmuchyoungerthanyouare，andcouldnot，therefore，know，asyoumaydo，towhatdangerssuchanencountermightexposeher。Shemaygetkissed；Ithinkitveryprobablethatshewill；butIgivemysolemnwordandpositiveassurance，thattheremotestideaofsuchacatastropheneveroccurredtoherasshemadethegreatresolvenowalludedto。 Andthensheslept；andthensheroserefreshed；andmetherfatherwithherkindestembraceandmostlovingsmiles； andonthewholetheirbreakfastwasbynomeanssotristeashadbeentheirdinnerthedaybefore；andthen，makingsomeexcusetoherfatherforsosoonleavinghim，shestartedonthecommencementofheroperations。 SheknewthatJohnBoldwasinLondon，andthat，therefore，thesceneitselfcouldnotbeenactedtoday；butshealsoknewthathewassoontobehome，probablyonthenextday，anditwasnecessarythatsomelittleplanformeetinghimshouldbeconcertedwithhissisterMary。Whenshegotuptothehouse，shewent，asusual，intothemorningsitting-room，andwasstartledbyperceiving，byastick，agreatcoat，andsundryparcelswhichwerelyingabout，thatBoldmustalreadyhavereturned。 ’Johnhascomebacksosuddenly，’saidMary，comingintotheroom；’hehasbeentravellingallnight。’ ’ThenI’llcomeupagainsomeothertime，’saidEleanor，abouttobeataretreatinhersuddendismay。 ’He’soutnow，andwillbeforthenexttwohours，’saidtheother；’he’swiththathorridFinney；heonlycametoseehim，andhereturnsbythemailtraintonight。’ Returnsbythemailtraintonight，thoughtEleanortoherself，asshestrovetoscrewuphercourage——awayagaintonight——thenitmustbenowornever；andsheagainsatdown，havingrisentogo。 Shewishedtheordealcouldhavebeenpostponed:shehadfullymadeuphermindtodothedeed，butshehadnotmadeuphermindtodoitthisveryday；andnowshefeltillatease，astray，andindifficulty。 ’Mary，’shebegan，’Imustseeyourbrotherbeforehegoesback。’ ’Ohyes，ofcourse，’saidtheother；’Iknowhe’llbedelightedtoseeyou’；andshetriedtotreatitasamatterofcourse，butshewasnotthelesssurprised；forMaryandEleanorhaddailytalkedoverJohnBoldandhisconduct，andhislove，andMarywouldinsistoncallingEleanorhersister，andwouldscoldherfornotcallingBoldbyhisChristianname；andEleanorwouldhalfconfessherlove，butlikeamodestmaidenwouldprotestagainstsuchfamiliaritiesevenwiththenameofherlover；andsotheytalkedhourafterhour，andMaryBold，whowasmuchtheelder，lookedforwardwithhappyconfidencetothedaywhenEleanorwouldnotbeashamedtocallherhersister。 Shewas，however，fullysurethatjustatpresentEleanorwouldbemuchmorelikelytoavoidherbrotherthantoseekhim。 ’Mary，Imustseeyourbrother，now，today，andbegfromhimagreatfavour’；andshespokewithasolemnair，notatallusualtoher；andthenshewenton，andopenedtoherfriendallherplan，herwell-weighedschemeforsavingherfatherfromasorrowwhichwould，shesaid，ifitlasted，bringhimtohisgrave。’But，Mary，’shecontinued，’youmustnow，youknow，ceaseanyjokingaboutmeandMrBold；youmustnowsaynomoreaboutthat；Iamnotashamedtobegthisfavourfromyourbrother，butwhenIhavedoneso，therecanneverbeanythingfurtherbetweenus’；andthisshesaidwithastaidandsolemnair，quiteworthyofJephthah’sdaughterorofIphigeniaeither。 ItwasquiteclearthatMaryBolddidnotfollowtheargument。 ThatEleanorHardingshouldappeal，onbehalfofherfather，toBold’sbetterfeelingsseemedtoMaryquitenatural；itseemedquitenaturalthatheshouldrelent，overcomebysuchfilialtears，andbysomuchbeauty；but，toherthinking，itwasatanyrateequallynatural，thathavingrelented，Johnshouldputhisarmroundhismistress’swaist，andsay:’Nowhavingsettledthat，letusbemanandwife，andallwillendhappily！’Whyhisgoodnatureshouldnotberewarded，whensuchrewardwouldoperatetothedisadvantageofnone，Mary，whohadmoresensethanromance，couldnotunderstand； andshesaidasmuch。 Eleanor，however，wasfirm，andmadequiteaneloquentspeechtosupportherownviewofthequestion:shecouldnotcondescend，shesaid，toasksuchafavouronanyothertermsthanthoseproposed。Marymight，perhaps，thinkherhigh- flown，butshehadherownideas，andshecouldnotsubmittosacrificeherself-respect。 ’ButIamsureyoulovehim——don’tyou？’pleadedMary； ’andIamsurehelovesyoubetterthananythingintheworld。’ Eleanorwasgoingtomakeanotherspeech，butatearcametoeacheye，andshecouldnot；soshepretendedtoblowhernose，andwalkedtothewindow，andmadealittleinwardcallonherowncourage，andfindingherselfsomewhatsustained，saidsententiously:’Mary，thisisnonsense。’ ’Butyoudolovehim，’saidMary，whohadfollowedherfriendtothewindow，andnowspokewithherarmsclosewoundroundtheother’swaist。’Youdolovehimwithallyourheart——youknowyoudo；Idefyyoutodenyit。’ ’I——’commencedEleanor，turningsharplyroundtorefutethecharge；buttheintendedfalsehoodstuckinherthroat，andnevercametoutterance。Shecouldnotdenyherlove，soshetookplentifullytotears，andleantuponherfriend’sbosomandsobbedthere，andprotestedthat，loveornolove，itwouldmakenodifferenceinherresolve，andcalledMary，athousandtimes，themostcruelofgirls，andsworehertosecrecybyahundredoaths，andendedbydeclaringthatthegirlwhocouldbetrayherfriend’slove，eventoabrother，wouldbeasblackatraitorasasoldierinagarrisonwhoshouldopenthecitygatestotheenemy。Whiletheywereyetdiscussingthematter，Boldreturned，andEleanorwasforcedintosuddenaction:shehadeithertoaccomplishorabandonherplan；andhavingslippedintoherfriend’sbedroom，asthegentlemanclosedthehalldoor，shewashedthemarksoftearsfromhereyes，andresolvedwithinherselftogothroughwithit。’TellhimIamhere，’saidshe，’andcomingin；andmind，whateveryoudo，don’tleaveus。’SoMaryinformedherbrother，withasomewhatsombreair，thatMissHardingwasinthenextroom，andwascomingtospeaktohim。