第16章

“Doyoufirstgoinanddressyourself！“ Theelderlyladythenunfastenedthegates；whereuponastunted，oldishmuzhikinaredshirtlimpedintotheyardwithafoam-fleckedsteed，andexclaimed: “Itiscaughtintwoplaces——attheSavelkinclearingandnearthecemetery！“ Immediatelythecompanypressedaroundhimwithgroansandejaculations，andGubinalonecontinuedtoharnesstheponywithswiftanddexteroushands——sayingtomethroughhisteethashedidso，andwithoutlookingatanyone: “ThatishowthosewretchedfolkALWAYSdeferthingsuntiltoolate。“ Thenextpersontopresentherselfattheentrancegateswasabeggar-woman。Screwinguphereyesinafurtivemanner，shedroned: “ForthesakeofLordJe-e-esus！“ “Godwillgiveyoualms！Godwillgiveyoualms！“wasNadezhda’sreplyas，turningpale，sheflungoutherarmsintheoldwoman’sdirection。“Yousee，aterriblethinghashappened——ourtimberlandshavecaughtfire。Youmustcomeagainlater。“ UponthatPeter’sbulkyform(whichhadentirelyfilledthewindowfromwhichithadbeenleaning)，disappearedwithajerk，andinitssteadtherecameintoviewthefigureofawoman。 Saidshecontemptuously: “SeethevisitationwithwhichGodhastriedus，youmenoffaintheartsandindolenthands！“ Thewoman’shairwasgreyatthetemples，andhadrestinguponitasilkencapwhichsokeptchangingcolourinthesunlightastoconveytoone。theimpressionthatherheadwasbonnetedwithsteel，whileinherface，picturesquebutdark(seeminglyblackenedwithsmoke)，theregleamedtwopupil-lessblueeyesofakindwhichIhadneverbeforebeheld。 “Fools，“shecontinued，“howoftenhaveInotpointedouttoyouthenecessityofcuttingawiderspacebetweenthetimberandthecemetery？“ Fromafurrowabovethewoman’ssmallbutprominentnose，apairofheavybrowsextendedtotemplesthatweresilveredover。 Asshespoketherefellastrangesilenceamidwhichsaveforthepony’spawingofthemirenosoundmingledwiththesarcasticreproachesofthedeep，almostmasculinevoice。 “Thatagainisthemother-in-law，“wasmyinwardreflection。 Gubinfinishedtheharnessing——thensaidtoJonahinthetoneofasuperioraddressingaservant: “Goinanddressyourself，youobject！“ Nevertheless，theBirkinsdroveoutoftheyardpreciselyastheywere，whilethepeasantmountedhisbelatheredsteedandfollowedthematatrot；andtheelderlyladydisappearedfromthewindow，leavingitspanesevendarkerandblackerthantheyhadpreviouslybeen。Gubin，slip-sloppingthroughthepuddleswithbarefeet，saidtomewithasharpglanceashemovedtoshuttheentrancegates: “IpresumethatIcannowtakeinhandthelittleaffairofwhichyouknow。“ “Yakov！“atthisjuncturesomeoneshoutedfromthehouse。 Gubinstraightenedhimselfalamilitaire。 “Yes，Iamcoming，“hereplied。 Whereafter，paddingonbaresoles，heascendedthesteps。 Nadezhda，standingattheirtop，turnedawaywithafrownofrepulsionathisapproach，andnoddedandbeckonedtomyself，“WhathasYakovsaidtoyou？“sheinquired“Hehasbeenreproachingme。“ “Reproachingyouforwhat？“ “Forhavingspokentoyou。“ Sheheavedasigh。 “Ah，themischief-maker！“sheexclaimed。“Andwhatisitthathewants？“ Asshepoutedherdispleasureherroundandvacantfacelookedalmostchildlike。 “GoodLord！“sheadded。“WhatDOsuchmenashewant？“ Meanwhiletheheavenswerebecomingoverspreadwithdarkgreyclouds，andpresagingafloodofautumnrain，whilefromthewindownearthestepsthevoiceofPeter’smother-in-lawwasissuinginasteadystream。Atfirst，however，nothingwasdistinguishablesaveasoundlikethehummingofaspindle。 “Itismymotherthatisspeaking，“Nadezhdaexplainedsoftly。 “She’llgiveithim！Yes，SHEwillprotectme！“ YetIscarcelyheardNadezhda’swords，sogreatlywasIfeelingstruckwiththequietforcefulness，theabsoluteassurance，ofwhatwasbeingsaidwithinthewindow。 “Enough，enough！“saidthevoice。“Onlythroughlackofoccupationhaveyoujoinedthecompanyoftherighteous。“ UponthisImadeamovetoapproachclosertothewindow； whereuponNadezhdawhispered: “Whitherareyougoing？Youmustnotlisten。“ WhileshewasyetspeakingIheardcomefromthewindow: “Similarlyyourrevoltagainstmankindhascomeofidleness，oflackofaninterestinlife。Toyoutheworldhasbeenwearisome，so，whiledevisingthisrevoltasaresource，youhaveexcuseditonthegroundofserviceofGodandloveofequity，whileinrealityconstitutingyourselfthedevil’sworkman。“ HereNadezhdapluckedatmysleeve，andtriedtopullmeaway，butIremarked: “IMUSTlearnwhatGubinhasgottosayinanswer。“ ThismadeNadezhdasmile，andthenwhisperwithaconfidingglanceatmyface: “Yousee，Ihavemadeafullconfessiontoher。Iwentandsaidtoher:’Mamenka，Ihavehadamisfortune。’Andheronlyreplyasshestrokedmyhairwas，’Ah，littlefool！’Thusyouseethatshepitiesme。AndwhatmakeshercarethelessthatI shouldstrayinthatdirectionisthatsheyearnsformetobearherachild，agrandchild，asanheirtoherproperty。“ Next，Gubinwasheardsayingwithintheroom: “WhensoeveranoffenceisdoneagainstthelawI……“ Atonceastreamofimpressivewordsfromtheotherdrownedhisutterance: “Anoffenceisnotalwaysanoffenceofmoment，sincesometimesapersonoutgrowsthelaw，andfindsittoorestrictive。Noonepersonoughttoberatedagainstanother。Forwhomaloneoughtwetofear？OnlytheGodinwhosesightallofushaveerred！“ Andthoughintheelderlylady’svoicetherewaswearinessanddistaste，thewordswerespokenslowlyandincisively。UponthisGubintriedtomurmursomethingoranother，butagainhisutterancefailedtoedgeitswayintohisinterlocutor’smeasuredperiods: “Nogreatachievementisit，“shesaid，“tocondemnafellowcreature。Foralwaysitiseasytositinjudgmentuponourfellows。Andevenifafellowcreaturebeallowedtopursueanevilcourseunchecked，hisoffencemayyetproveproductiveofgood。RememberhowineverycasetheSaintsreachedGod。Yethowtrulysanctified，bythetimethattheydidsoreachHim，werethey？Letthiseverbeborneinmind，forweareover-apttocondemnandpunish！“ “Informerdays，NataliaVassilievna，youtookawayfrommemysubstance，youtookmyall。Also，letmerecounttoyouhowwefellintodisagreement。“ “No；thereisnoneedforthat。“ “Thereafter，Iceasedtobeabletobearthecontemplationofmyself；Iceasedtoconsidermyselfasofanyvalue。“ “Letthepastremainthepast。Thatwhichmustbeisnottobeavoided。“ “Throughyou，Isay，Ilostmypeaceofmind。“ Nadezhdanudgedme，andwhisperedwithgaymalice: “Thatisprobablytrue，fortheysaythatoncehewasoneofherlovers。“ Thensherecollectedherselfand，clappingherhandstoherface，criedthroughherfingers: “OhgoodLord！WhathaveIsaid？No，no，youmustnotbelievethesetales。Theyareonlyslanders，forsheisthebestofwomen。“ “Whenevilhasbeendone，“continuedthequietvoicewithinthewindow，“itcanneverbesetrightbyrecountingittoothers。 Heuponwhomaburdenhasbeenlaidshouldtrytobearit。And，shouldhefailtobearit，thefactwillmeanthattheburdenhasbeenbeyondhisstrength。“ “ItwasthroughyouthatIlosteverything。Itwasyouthatstrippedmebare。“ “ButtothatwhichyoulostIaddedmovement。Nothinginlifeiseverlost；itmerelypassesfromonehandtoanother——fromtheunskilledhandtotheexperienced——sothateventhebonepickedofadogmayultimatelybecomeofvalue。“ “Yes，abone——thatiswhatIam。“