第23章

“Veryreadyareyoutoweep，butIshouldlikefirsttoheartheexactcircumstancesofthelad’sdeath。“ Thusinvited，thewomanwipedhereyeswiththesleeveofherbodice，lickedherlips，heavedaprolongedsigh，andfelltoregardingAntipa’sred，hardbittenfacewiththecheerful，unabashedglanceofapersonwhoisundertheinfluenceofliquor。Fromunderherwhitehead-bandtherehadfallenoverhertemplesandherrightcheekafewwispsofgoldenhair；andindeed，asshedrewherselfup，andtossedherheadandbosom，andsmoothedoutandstretchedthecreasesinherbodice，shelookedlessthanheryears。Everyonenowfelltoeyeingherinanattentivesilence，thoughnot，itwouldseem，withoutatouchofenvy。 Abruptly，sternly，theoldmaninquired: “Didtheladevercomplainofill-health？“ “No，never，“Felitzatareplied。“Neveroncedidhespeakofit——neveronce。“ “Andhehadnotbeenbeaten？“ “Oh，howcanyouaskmesuchathing，andespeciallyseeingthat，that——？“ “IdidnotsaybeatenbyYOU。“ “Well，Icannotanswerforanyoneelse，butatleasthadhenomarkonhisbody，seeingthatwhenIliftedthesmockIcouldfindnothingsaveforscratchesonlegsandback。“ Hertonenowhadinitanewring，aringofincreasedassurance，andwhenshehadfinishedsheclosedherbrighteyeslanguidlybeforeheavingasoft，asitwere，voluptuous，and，withal，veryaudiblesigh。 Someoneheremurmured: “SheDIDusetobeathim。“ “What？“ “Atalleventssheusedtolosehertemperwithhim。“ Thisledtotheputtingofafurtherdozenorsoofleadingquestions；whereafterAntipa，forawhile，preservedasuggestivesilence，andthecrowdtooremainedsilent，asthoughithadsuddenlybeenlulledtoslumber。Onlyatlonglast，andwithaclearingofhisthroat，didAntipasay: “Friends，wemustsupposethatGod，ofHisinfiniteMercy，hasvouchsafedtoushereaspecialvisitation，inthat，asallofushaveperceived，aladbereftofwit，thesameradiantladwhomallofushaveknown，hashereabidedintheclosestofcommunionwiththeBlessedDispenseroflifeonearth。“ ThenImovedaway，foruponmyhearttherewaspressingaburdenofunendurablesorrow，andIwasyearning，oh，soterribly，toseeNilushkaoncemore。 ThebackportionofFelitzata’scotstoodalittlesunkenintotheground，sothatthefrontportionhaditscoldwindowpanesandraisedsashtiltedatrifletowardstheremoteheavens。I bentmyhead，andenteredbytheopendoor。NearthethresholdNilushkawaslyingonanarrowchestagainstthewall。Thefoldsofadark-redpillowoffustianundertheheadsetofftoperfectionthepalebluetintofhisround，innocentfaceunderitscoronaofgoldencurls；andthoughtheeyeswereclosed，andthelipspressedtightlytogether，hestillseemedtobesmilinginhisoldquiet，butjoyous，way。Ingeneral，thetall，thinfigureonthemattressofdarkfelt，withitsbarelegs，anditsslenderhandsandwristsfoldedacrossthebreast，remindedmelessofanangelthanofacertainimageoftheHolyChildwithwhichablackenedoldikonhadrenderedmefamiliarfrommyboyhoodupwards。 Everythingamidthepurplegloomwasstill。Eventheflieswereforbearingtobuzz。Onlyfromthestreetwastheregratingthroughtheshadedwindowthestrong，roguishvoiceofFelitzataasittracedthestrange，lugubriousword-pattern: Withmybosompressedtothewarm，greyearth，Tothee，greyearth，tothee，0hmymotherofold，Ibeseechthee，Iwhoamamotherlikethee，Andamotherinpain，toenfoldinthyarmsThismyson，thismydeadson，thismyruby，Thismydropofmyheart’sblood，thismy—— SuddenlyIcaughtsightofAntipastandinginthedoorway。Hewaswipinghiseyeswiththebackofhishand。Presentlyinagruffandunsteadyvoicehesaid: “Itisallveryfineforyoutoweep，goodwoman，butthepresentisnottherightmomenttosingsuchversesasthose——theyweremeant，rather，tobesunginagraveyardatthesideofatomb。Well，tellmeeverythingwithoutreserve。 ImportantisitthatIshouldknowEVERYTHING。“ Whereafter，havingcrossedhimselfwithafalteringhand，hecarefullyscrutinisedthecorpse，andatlastlethiseyeshaltuponthelad’ssweetfeatures。Thenhemutteredsadly: “Howextraordinarilyhehasgrown！Yes，deathhasindeedenlargedhim！Ah，well，sobeit！SoonItooshallhavetobestretchingmyselfout。Ohthatitwerenow！“ Thenwithcautiousmovementsofhisdeformedfingershestraightenedthefoldsofthelad’ssmock，anddrewitoverthelegs。Whereafterhepressedhisflushedlipstothehemofthegarment。 SaidItohimatthatmoment: “Whatisitthatyouhavebeenwantingofhim？Whyisitthatyouhavebeentryingtoteachhimstrangewords？“ Straighteninghimself，andglancingatmewithdimeyes，Antiparepeated: “WhatisitthatIhavebeenwantingofhim？“Totherepetitionheaddedwithmanifestsincerity，thoughalsowithaself-depreciatorymovementofthehead: “Totellthetruth，IscarcelyknowWHATitisthatIhavebeenwantingofhim。ByGodIdonot。Yet，asonespeakingthetruthinthepresenceofdeath，IsaythatneverduringmylonglifetimehadIsodesiredaughtelse……Yes，Ihavewaitedandwaitedforfortunetorevealittome；andeverhasfortuneremainedmuteandtongueless。Foolishwasitofmetohaveexpectedotherwise，tohaveexpected，forinstance，thatsomedaytheremightoccursomethingmarvellous，somethingunlooked-for。“ Withashortlaugh，heindicatedthecorpsewithhiseyes，andcontinuedmorefirmly: “Yes，bootlesswasittohaveexpectedanythingfromsuchasourceasthat。Never，despiteone’swishes，wasanythingpossibleofacquisitionthence……Thisisusuallythecase。 Felitzata，asacleverwomanindeed(albeitonecoldofheart)，wasforhavinghersonaccountedaGod’sfool，andtherebygainingsomeprovisionagainstheroldage。“ “Butyouyourselfwerethepersonwhosuggestedthat？Youyourselfwishedit？“ “I？“ Presently。thrustinghishandsuphissleeves，headdeddullyandbrokenly: “Yes，IDIDwishit。Whynot，indeed，seeingthatatleastitwouldhavebroughtcomforttothepoorpeopleofthisplace？ SometimesIfeelverysorryforthemwiththeirbitter，troublouslives——liveswhichmaybethelivesofroguesandvillains，yetareliveswhichhaveproducedamongstusapravednik，“[A“justperson，“ahumanbeingwithoutsin]。 Alltheeveningskywasnowaflame。Upontheeartherefellthemournfullament: Whensnowhasveiledtheearthinwhite，Thesnowyplainthewildwolvestread。 TheywailforthecheeringwarmthofspringAsIbewailthebairnthat’sdead。 Vologonovlistenedforamoment。Thenhesaidfirmly: “Thesearemereaccessesofimpulsewhichcomeuponher。Andthatisonlywhatmightbeexpected。Evenasinsongorinvicethereisnoholdingher，soremorse，whenithasfasteneduponsuchawoman’sheart，willknownobounds。Imaytellyouthatononeoccasiontwoyoungmerchantstookher，strippedherstarknaked，anddroveherintheircarriagedownZhitnaiaStreet，withthemselvessittingontheseatsofthevehicle，andFelitzatastandinguprightbetweenthem——yes，inastateofnudity！Thereaftertheybeatheralmosttodeath。“ AsIsteppedoutintothedark，narrowvestibule，Antipa，whowasfollowingme，muttered: “Suchalamentasherscouldcomeonlyofgenuinegrief。“ WefoundFelitzatainfrontofthehut，withherbackcoveringthewindow。There，withhandspressedtoherbosom，andherskirtallawry，shewasstrainingherdishevelledheadtowardstheheavens，whiletheeveningbreeze，stirringherfineauburnhair，scattereditpromiscuouslyoverherflushed，sharply-definedfeaturesandwildlyprotrudingeyes。Abizarre，pitiable，andextraordinaryfiguredidshecutasshewailedinathroatyvoicewhichconstantlygatheredstrength: 0hwindsofice，windscruelandrude，Pressonmyhearttillitsthrobbingsfail！ Arrestthecurrentofmyblood！ Turnthesehotmeltingtearstohail！ Beforehertherewaspostedaknotofwomen，compassionatecontemplatorsofthesinger’sdistracted，grief-wroughtfeatures。Throughtheravine’sdarkopeningIcouldseethesunsinkingbelowthesuburbbeforeplungingintothemarshyforestandhavinghisdiskpiercedbysharp，blacktipsofpinetrees。 Alreadyeverythingaroundhimwasred。Already，seemingly，hehadbeenwounded，andwasbleedingtodeath。