第30章

Oppositethewharftherewasstuckinthewidegableofatwo-storiedbuildingalanternwhich，flickering，diffusedbutadull，anaemiclightfromitsdirtypanes，whileoverthelongstripofthebrokensignboardofthebuildingtherecouldbeseenstraggling，andexecutedinlargeyellowletters，thewords，“Tavernand-“Nomoreofthelegendthanthiswasvisible。 Lanternswerehangingintwoorthreeotherspotsinthedrowsylittletown；andwherevertheirmurkystainsoflighthungsuspendedintheairtherestoodoutinreliefamedleyofgables，drab-tintedtrees，andfalsewindowsinwhitepaint，onwallsofadullslatecolour。 SomehowIfoundcontemplationofthescenedepressing。 Meanwhilethevesselcontinuedtoemitsteamassherockedtoandfrowithacreakingofwood，aslap-slappingofwater，andascrubbingofhersidesagainstthewharf。Atlengthsomeoneejaculatedsurlily: “Fool，youmustbeasleep！Thewinch，yousay？Why，thewinchisatthestern，damnyou！“ “Offagain，thanktheLord！“addedtheraspingvoicealreadyheardfrombehindthebales，whiletoitanequallyfamiliarvoicerejoinedwithayawn: “It’stimeweWEREoff！“ Saidahoarsevoice: “Lookhere，youngfellow。Whatwasitheshouted？“ Hastilyandinarticulately，withagreatdealofsmackingofthelipsandstuttering，someonereplied: “Heshouted:’Kinsmen，donotkillme！Havesomemercy，forChrist’ssake，andIwillmakeovertoyoueverything——yes，everythingintoyourgoodhandsforever！Onlyletmegoaway，andexpiatemysins，andsavemysoulthroughprayer。Aye，I willgoonapilgrimage，andremainhiddenmylifelong，totheveryend。Nevershallyouhearofmeagain，norseeme。’ThenUnclePetercaughthimablowonthehead，andhisbloodsplashedoutuponme。AshefellI——well，Iranaway，andmadeforthetavern，whereIknockedatthedoorandshouted: ’Sister，theyhavekilledourfather！’Uponthat，sheputherheadoutofthewindow，butonlysaid:’Thatmerelymeansthattherascalismakinganexcuseforvodka。’……Aye，aterribletimeitwas——wasthatnight！AndhowfrightenedIfelt！Atfirst，Imadeforthegarret，butpresentlythoughttomyself:’No； theywouldsoonfindmethere，andputmetoanendaswell，forIamtheheirdirect，andshouldbethefirsttosucceedtotheproperty。’SoIcrawledontotheroof，andtherelayhiddenbehindthechimney-stack，holdingonwitharmsandlegs，whileunabletospeakforsheerterror。“ “Whatwereyouafraidof？“abrusquevoiceinterrupted。 “WhatwasIafraidof？“ “Atallevents，youjoinedyouruncleinkillingyourfather，didn’tyou？“ “Insuchanhouronehasnottimetothink——onejustkillsamanbecauseonecan’thelponeself，orbecauseitseemssoeasytokill。“ “True，“thehoarservoicecommentedindullandponderousaccents。“Whenoncebloodhasflowedthefactleadstomoreblood，andifamanhasstartedouttokill，hecaresnothingforanyreason——hefindsgoodenoughthereasonwhichcomesfirsttohishand。“ “Butifthisyoungfellowisspeakingthetruth，hehadaBUSINESSreason——though，properlyspeaking，evenpropertyoughtnottoprovokequarrels。“ “Similarlyoneoughtnottokilljustwhenonechooses。Folkwhocommitsuchcrimesshouldhavejusticemetedouttothem。“ “Yes，butitisdifficultalwaystoobtainsuchjustice。Forinstance，thisyoungfellowseemstohavespentoverayearinprisonfornothing。“ “’Fornothing’？Why，didhenotenticehisfatherintothehut，andthenshutthedooruponhim，andthrowacoatoverhishead？Hehassaidsohimself。’Fornothing，’indeed！“ Uponthistherapidstreamofsobbed，disconnectedwords，whichI hadheardbeforefromsomespeakerpouredforthanew。Somehow，I guessedthatitcamefromthemaninthedirtyboots，asoncemoreherecountedthestoryofthemurder。 “Idonotwishtojustifymyself，“hesaid。“Isaymerelythat，inasmuchasIwaspromisedareprieveatthetrial，Itoldeverything，andwasthereforeallowedtogofree，whilemyuncleandmybrotherweresentencedtopenalservitude。“ “ButyouKNEWthattheyhadagreedtokillhim？“ “Well，itismyideathatatfirsttheyintendedonlytogivehimagoodfright。Neverdidmyfatherrecognisemeashisson——alwayshecalledmeaJesuit。“ Thegrufferofthetwovoicespulledupthespeaker。 “Tothink，“itsaid，“thatyoucanactuallytalkaboutitall！“ “Whyshouldn’tI？Myfatherbroughttearstotheeyesofmanyaninnocentperson。“ “Afigforpeople’stears！Ifourcausesoftearswereoneandalltobemurdered，whatwouldthestateofthingsbecome？Shedtears，butneverblood；forbloodisnotyourstoshed。Andevenifyoushouldbelieveyourownbloodtobeyourown，knowthatitisnotso，thatyourblooddoesnotbelongtoyou，buttoSomeoneElse。“ “Thepointinquestionwasmyfather’sproperty。Itallshowshowamanmayliveawhile，andearnhisliving，andthensuddenlygoamiss，andlosehiswits，andevenconceiveagrudgeagainsthisownfather……NowImustgetsomesleep。“ Behindthebalesallgrewquiet。PresentlyIrosetopeerinthatdirection。Thepassengerinthebuffpea-jacketwassittinghuddledupagainstacoilofrope，withhishandsthrustintohissleeves，andhischinrestinguponhisarms。Asthemoonwasshiningstraightintohisface，Icouldseethatthelatterwasaslividasthatofacorpse，andhaditsbrowsdrawndownoveritsnarrow，insignificanteyes。 Besidehim，andclosetomyhead，therewaslyingstretchedonthetopofthecoilofropeabroad-shoulderedpeasantinashortsmockandapairofpatchedbootsofwhitefelt。Theringletsofthewearer’scurlybeardwerethrustupwards，andhishandsclaspedbehindhishead，andwithox-likeeyeshestaredatthezenithwhereafewstarswereshining，andthemoonwasbeginningtosink。 Atlength，inatrumpet-likevoice(thoughheseemedtodohisbesttosoftenit)thepeasantasked: “Youruncleisonthatbarge，Isuppose？“ “Heis。Andsoismybrother。“ “Yetyouarehere！Howstrange！“ Thedarkbarge，towedagainstthesteamer’sblue-silverwashoffoam，wascleavingitlikeaplough，whileunderthemoonthelightsofthebargeshowedwhite，andthehullandtheprisoners’cagestoodraisedhighoutofthewaterastoourrighttheblack，indentatedbankglidedpastinsinuousconvolutions。 Fromthewhole，soft，liquescentfluidscene，theimpressionwhichIderivedwasmelancholy。 Itevokedinmyspiritasenseofinstability，alackofrestfulness。 “Whyareyoutravelling？“ “BecauseIwishtohaveawordwithhim。“ “Withyouruncle？“ “Yes。“ “Abouttheproperty？“ “Whatelse？“ “Thenlookhere，myyoungfellow。Dropitall——bothyouruncleandtheproperty，andbetakeyourselftoamonastery，andthereliveandpray。Forifyouhaveshedblood，andespeciallyifyouhaveshedthebloodofakinsman，youwillstandforeverestrangedfromall，while，moreover，bloodshedisadangerousthing——itmayatanytimecomebackuponyou。“ “Buttheproperty？“theyoungfellowaskedwithaliftofhishead。 “Letitgo，“thepeasantvouchsafedasheclosedhiseyes。 Ontheyoungerman’sfacethedowntwitchedasthoughawindhadstirredit。Heyawned，andlookedabouthimforamoment。Then，descryingmyself，hecriedinatoneofresentment: “Whatareyoulookingat？Andwhydoyoukeepfollowingmeabout？“ Herethebigpeasantopenedhiseyes，and，withaglancefirstattheman，andthenatmyself，growled: “Lessnoisethere，youmitten-face！“