第39章

“Thendon’trunafterme。Awomanwhorunsafteraman，andplaysthewhorewithhim，is——“ “Lessnoise，please——lessnoise，Ibegofyou，orweshallbeheard，andIshallbeputtoshame！“ “Doesn’titputyoutoshametobeofferingyourselftomelikethis？“ Asilenceensues，savethattheyoungfellowgoesonsnortingandfidgeting，andtheraindropscontinuetofallwiththesamereluctance，thesameindolence，asever。Thenoncemorethewoman’svoiceisheardthroughthepattering。 “Perhaps，“saysthevoice，“youhaveguessedthatIamseekingahusband？Yes，IAMseekingone——agood，steadymuzhik。“ “ButIamNOTagood，steadymuzhik。“ “Fie，fie！“ “What？“hesniggers。“Ahusbandforyou？Theimpudenceofyou！ A’husband’！Goalong！“ “Listentome。Iamtiredoftramping。“ “Thengohome。“ Thistimethereensuesalongpause。Thenthewomansaysverysoftly: “Ihaveneitherhomenorkindred。“ “Alie！“ejaculatestheyoungfellow。 “No，byGoditisnotalie！TheMotherofGodforgetmeifitis。“ IntheselastwordsIcandetectthenoteoftears。Bythistimethesituationhasbecomeintolerable，forIamyearningtoriseandkicktheyoungfellowoutofthehut，andthentohavealongandearnesttalkwithhiscompanion。“OhthatIcouldtakehertomyarms，“Ireflect，“andcherishherasIwouldapoorlostchild！“ Afterawhilethesoundsofanewstrugglebetweenthepairareheard。 “Don’tputmeofflikethat！“growlstheyoungfellow。 “Anddon’tyoumakeanyattemptuponme！Iamnotthesortofwomantobeforced。“ Thenextmomenttherearisesacryofpainandastonishment。 “Whatwasthatfor？Whatwasthatfor？“thewomanwails。 WithanansweringexclamationIspringtomyfeet，formyfeelingshavebecomethoseofawildbeast。 Atonceeverythinggrowsquietagain，savethatsomeone，crawlsoverthefloorand，inleavingthehut，jarsthelatchofthecrazy，single-hingedportal。 “Itwasnotmyfault，“grumblestheyoungfellow。“Itallcameofthatstinkingwomanofferingherselftome。Besides，theplaceisfullofbugs，andIcannotsleep。“ “Beast！“pantssomeoneinthevicinity。 “Holdyourtongue，bitch！“isthefellow’sretort。 Bynowtherainhasceased，andsuchairasfiltersthroughthewindowseemsincreasedlystifling。Momentarilythehushgrowsdeeper，untilthebreastfeelsfilledwithasenseofoppression，andthefaceandeyesasthoughtheyweregluedoverwithaweb。 EvenwhenIstepintotheyardIfindtheplacetobelikeacellaronasummer’sday，whentheveryicehasmeltedinthedarkretreat，andthelatter’sblackcavityischargedwithhot，viscoushumidity。 Somewherenearmeawomanisgulpingoutsobs。ForamomentortwoIlisten；thenIapproachher，andcomeuponherseatedinacornerwithherheadinherhands，andherbodyrockingtoandfroasthoughsheweredoingmeobeisance。 YetIfeelangry，somehow，andremainstandingbeforeherwithoutspeaking——untilatlengthIask: “Areyoumad？“ “Goaway，“is，afterapause，heronlyreply。 “Iheardallthatyousaidtothatyoungfellow。“ “Oh，didyou？Thenwhatbusinessisitofyours？Areyoumybrother？“ Yetshespeaksthewordsabsent-mindedlyratherthanangrily。 Aroundusthedim，blurredwallsarepeeringinourdirectionwithsightlesseyes，whileinthevicinityabullockisdrawingdeepbreaths。 Iseatmyselfbyherside。 “Shouldyouremainmuchlongerinthatposition，“Iremark，“youwillhaveaheadache。“ Therefollowsnoreply。 “AmIdisturbingyou？“Icontinue。 “Ohno；notatall。“And，loweringherhands，shelooksatme。 “Whencedoyoucome？“ “FromNizhniNovgorod。“ “Oh，fromalongwayoff！“ “Doyoucareforthatyoungfellow？“ Notforamomentortwodoessheanswer；andwhenshedoessosheanswersasthoughthewordshavebeenrehearsed。 “Notparticularly。Itisthatheisastrongyoungfellowwhohaslosthisway，andistoomuchofafool(asyoutoomusthaveseen)tofinditagain。SoIamverysorryforhim。Agoodmuzhikoughttobewellplaced。“ Onthebellofthechurchtherestrikesthehouroftwo。Withoutinterruptingherself，thewomancrossesherbreastateachstroke。 “Always，“shecontinues，“IfeelsorrywhenIseeafineyoungfellowgoingtothedogs。IfIwereable，Iwouldtakeallsuchyoungmen，andrestorethemtotherightroad。“ “ThenyouarenotsorryFORYOURSELF？“ “Notformyself？Ohyes，formyselfaswell。“ “Thenwhyflauntyourselfbeforethisbooby，asyouhavebeendoing？“ “BecauseImightreformhim。Doyounotthinkso？Ah，youdonotknowme。“ Asighescapesher。 “Hehityou，Ithink？“Iventure。 “No，hedidnot。Andinanycaseyouarenottotouchhim。“ “Yetyoucriedout？“ Suddenlysheleanstowardsme，andsays: “Yes，hedidstrikeme——hestruckmeonthebreast，andwouldhaveoverpoweredmehaditnotbeenthatIcannot，Iwillnot，dothingsheartlessly，likeacat。Oh，thebrutesthatmencanbe！“ Heretheconversationundergoesaninterruptionthroughthefactthatsomeonehascomeouttothehutdoor，andiswhistlingsoftly，asforadog。 “Thereheis！“whispersthewoman。 “ThenhadInotbestsendhimabouthisbusiness？“ “No，no！“sheexclaims，catchingatmyknees。“Noneedisthereforthat，noneedisthereforthat！“ Thenwithalowmoansheadds: “OhLord，howIpityourfolkandtheirlives！OhGodourFather！“ Hershouldersheave，andpresentlysheburstsintotears，withawhisper，betweenthepitifulsobs，of: “How，onsuchanightasthis，oneremembersallthatonehaseverseen，andthefolkthateveronehasknown！Andoh，howwearisome，wearisomeitallis！AndhowIshouldliketocrythroughouttheworld——Buttocrywhat？Iknownot——Ihavenomessagetodeliver。“ ThatfeelingIcanunderstandaswellasshe，foralltoooftenhasitseemedtocrushmysoulwithvoicelesslonging。 Then，asIstrokeherbowedheadandquiveringshoulder，Iaskherwhosheis；andpresently，ongrowingalittlecalmer，shetellsmethehistoryofherlife。 Sheis，itappears，thedaughterofacarpenterandbee-keeper。 Onhermother’sdeath，thismanmarriedayoungwoman，andallowedher，asstepmother，topersuadehimtoplacethenarrator，Tatiana，inaconvent，whereshe(Tatiana)livedfromtheageofninetilladolescence，and，meanwhile，wastaughtherletters，andalsoacertainamountofmanuallabour；until，later，herfathermarriedherofftoafriendofhis，awell-to- doex-soldier，whowasactingasforesterontheconvent’sestate。 Asthewomanrelatesthis，IfeelvexedthatIcannotseeherface——onlyadim，roundbluramidwhichthereloomswhatappearstobeapairofclosedeyes。Also，socompleteisthestillness，thatshecannarrateherstoryinabarelyaudiblewhisper；andI