第41章

“Youhavebeenoh，sogood！“shewhisperssoftly。Asshespeaks，theearthseemstobesinkingundermyfeet。 Thenshetearsherselfaway，glancesaroundthecourtyard，anddartstoacornerwhere，underafence，aclumpofherbageissprouting。 “Gonow，“sheaddsinawhisper。“Yes，go。“ Then，withaconfusedsmile，as，crouchingamongtheherbageasthoughithadbeenasmallcave，sherearrangesherhair，sheadds: “Ithasbefallenso。Ah，me！MayGodgrantuntomeHispardon！“ Astonished，feelingthatImustbedreaming，Igazeatherwithgratitude，forIsenseanextraordinarylightnesstobepresentinmybreast，aradiantvoidthroughwhichjoyous，intangiblewordsandthoughtskeepflyingasswallowswheelacrossthefirmament。 “Amidagreatsorrow，“sheadds，“evenasmalljoybecomesagreatfelicity。“ YetasIglanceatthewoman’sbosom，whereonmoistbeadsarestandinglikedewdropsontheouterearth；asIglanceatthatbosom，whereonthesun’sraysarefindingaroseatereflection，asthoughthebloodwereoozingthroughtheskin，myrapturediesaway，andturnstosorrow，heartache，andtears。Forinmethereisapresentimentthatbeforethelivingjuicewithinthatbosomshallhavebornefruit，itwillhavebecomedriedup。 Presently，inatonealmostofself-excuse，andonewhereinthewordssoundalittlesadly，shecontinues: “Timestherearewhensomethingcomespouringintomysoulwhichmakesmybreastsachewiththepainofit。Whatisthereformetodoatsuchmomentssaverevealmythoughtstothemoon，or，inthedaytime，toariver？OhGodinHeaven！AndafterwardsIfeelasashamedofmyself！……Donotlookatmelikethat。Whystareatmewiththoseeyes，eyessoliketheeyesofachild？“ “YOURface，rather，islikeachild’s，“Iremark。 “What？Isitsostupid？“ “Somethinglikethat。“ Asshefastensupherbodiceshecontinues: “Soonthetimewillbefiveo’clock，whenthebellwillringforMass。ToMassImustgotoday，forIhaveaprayertooffertotheMotherofGod……Shallyoubeleavingheresoon？“ “Yes——assoon，thatistosay，asIhavereceivedbackmypassport。“ “Andforwhatdestination？“ “ForAlatyr。Andyou？“ Shestraightensherattire，andrises。AsshedoessoIperceivethatherhipsarenarrowerthanhershoulders，andthatthroughoutsheiswell-proportionedandsymmetrical。 “I？AsyetIdonotknow。True，IhadthoughtofproceedingtoNaltchik，butnow，perhaps，Ishallnotdoso，forallmyfutureisuncertain。“ Uponthatsheextendstomeapairofstrong，capablearms，andproposeswithablush: “Shallwekissoncemorebeforewepart？“ Sheclaspsmewiththeonearm，andwiththeothermakesthesignofthecross，adding: “Good-bye，dearfriend，andmayChristrequiteyouforallyourwords，forallyoursympathy！“ “Thenshallwetraveltogether？“ Atthewordsshefreesherself，andsaysfirmly，nay，sternly: “Notso。NeverwouldIconsenttosuchaplan。Ofcourse，hadyoubeenamuzhik——butno。Eventhenwhatwouldhavebeentheuseofit，seeingthatlifeistobemeasured，notbyasinglehour，butbyyears？“ And，quietlysmilingmeafarewell，shemovesawaytowardsthehut，whilstI，remainingseated，losemyselfinthoughtsofher。 Willsheeverovertakeherquestinlife？ShallIeverbeholdheragain？ ThebellforearlyMassbegins，thoughforsometimepastthehamlethasbeenastir，andhumminginasedateandnon-festivefashion。 Ienterthehuttofetchmywallet，andfindtheplaceempty。 Evidentlythewholepartyhasleftbythegapinthebroken-downwall。 Irepair，next，totheAtaman’soffice，whereIreceivebackmypassportbeforesettingouttolookformycompanionsinthesquare。 Insimilarfashiontoyesterdaythose“folkfromRussia“arelollingalongsidethechurchyardwall，andalsohaveseatedamongthem，leaninghisbackagainstalog，thefat-jowledyouthfromPenza，withhisbruisedfacelookingevenlargeranduglierthanbefore，forthereasonthathiseyesaresunkenamidpurpleprotuberances。 Presentlytherearrivesanewcomerintheshapeofanoldmanwithagreyheadadornedwithafadedvelvetskull-cap，apointedbeard，alean，witheredframe，prominentcheekbones，ared，porous-looking，cunninglyhookednose，andtheeyesofathief。 Himaflaxen-hairedyouthfromOreljoinswithasimilaryouthinaccosting。 “WhyareYOUtramping？“inquirestheformer。 “AndwhyareYOU？“theoldmanretortsinnasaltonesas，lookingatnoone，heproceedstomendthehandleofabatteredmetalteapotwithapieceofwire。 “Wearetravellinginsearchofwork，andthereforelivingaswehavebeencommandedtolive。“ “ByWHOMcommanded？“ “ByGod。Haveyouforgotten？“ Carelessly，butsuccinctly，theoldmanretorts: “Takeheedlestuponyou，someday，GodvomitallthedustandlitterwhichyouareraisingbytrampingHisearth！“ “How？“criesoneoftheyouths，along-earedstripling。 “WerenotChristandHisApostlesalsotramps？“ “Yes，CHRIST，“istheoldman’smeaningreplyasheraiseshissharpeyestothoseofhisopponent。“Butwhatareyoutalkingof，youfools？Withwhomareyoudaringtocompareyourselves？ TakecarelestIreportyoutotheCossacks！“ Ihavelistenedtomanysucharguments，andalwaysfoundthemdistasteful，evenasIhavedonediscussionsregardingthesoul。 HenceIfeelinclinedtodepart。 Atthismoment，however，Konevmakeshisappearance。Hismienisdejected，andhisbodyperspiring，whilehiseyeskeepblinkingrapidly。 “HasanyoneseenTanka——thatwomanfromRiazan？“heinquires。 “No？Thenthebitchmusthaveboltedduringthenight。Thefactisthat，overnight，someonegavemeadroportwotodrink，ameredram，butenoughtolaymeasfastasleepasabearinwinter- time。Andinthemeantime，shemusthaverunawaywiththatPenzafellow。“ “No，HEishere，“Iremark。 “Oh，heis，ishe？Well，aswhathasthecompanyregistereditself？Asasetofikon-painters，Ishouldthink！“ Againhebeginstolookanxiouslyabouthim。 “Wherecanshehavegotto？“hequeries。 “ToMass，maybe。“ “0Fcourse！Well，Iamgreatlysmittenwithher。Yes，mywordI am！“ Nevertheless，whenMasscomestoanend，and，tothesoundofamerrypealofbells，thewell-dressedlocalCossacksfileoutofchurch，anddistributethemselvesingaudystreamsaboutthehamlet，noTatianamakesherappearance。 “ThensheISgone，“saysKonevruefully。“ButI’llfindheryet！I’LLcomeupwithher！“ ThatthiswillhappenIdonotfeelconfident。NordoIdesirethatitshould。