第46章

“HadInotbetterconsiderWHYitismylot，andsoforth？Why，damnit，thecausesaremany。Foronething，ifonehasneighbourswhoneitherlivenorseethingsasoneselfdoes，butareuncongenial，whatdoesonedo？Onejustleavesthem，andclearsout——moreespeciallyifonebeneitherapriestnoramagistrate。YetYOUsaythatIhadbetterconsiderwhythisismylot。DoyouthinkthatYOUaretheonlymanabletoconsiderthings，possessedofabrain？“ Andinanaccessoffurythespeakerreplacedhispipe，andsatfrowninginsilence。Vasilieyedhisinterlocutor’sfeaturesasthefirelightplayedreduponthem，and，finally，saidinanundertone: “Yes，itisalwaysso。Wefailtogetonwithourneighbours，yetlackacharterofourown，so，havingnorootstoholdus，justfalltowandering，troublingotherfolk，andearningdislike！“ “Thedislikeofwhom？“grufflyqueriedtheex-soldier。 “Thedislikeofeveryone，asyouyourselfhavesaid！“ Inanswertheex-soldiermerelyemittedacloudofsmokewhichcompletelyconcealedhisform。YetVasili’svoicehadinitanagreeablenote，andwasflexibleandingratiating，whileenunciatingitswordsroundlyanddistinctly。 Amountainowl，oneofthosesplendidbrowncreatureswhichhavethecraftyphysiognomyofacat，andthesharpgreyearsofamouse，madetheforestechowithitsobtrusivecry。AbirdofthisspeciesIonceencounteredamongthedefile’scrags，andasthecreaturesailedovermyheaditstartledmewiththeglassyeyeswhich，asroundasbuttons，seemedtobelitfromwithinwithmenacingfire。Indeed，foramomentortwoIstoodhalf- stupefiedwithterror，forIcouldnotconceivewhatthecreaturewas。 “Whencedidyougetthatsplendidpipe？“nextaskedVasiliasherolledhimselfacigarette。“SurelyitisapipeofoldGermanmake？“ “YouneednotfearthatIstoleit，“theex-soldierrespondedasheremoveditfromhislipsandregardeditproudly。“Itwasgivenmebyawoman。“ Towhich，withawhimsicalwink，headdedasigh。 “Tellmehowithappened，“saidVasilisoftly。Thenheflunguphisarms，andstretchedhimselfwithadespondentcryof: “Ah，thesenightshere！NeveragainmayGodsendmesuchbadones！Trytosleepasonemay，oneneversucceeds。Fareasier，indeed，isittosleepduringthedaytime，providedthatonecanfindashadyspot。DuringsuchnightsIgoalmostmadwiththinking，andmyheartswellsandmurmurs。“ Theex-soldier，whohadlistenedwithmouthagapeandeyebrowsraisedevenhigherthanusual，respondedtothis: “Itisthesamewithme。Ifonecouldonly——Whatdidyousay？“ Thislastwasaddressedtomyself，whohadbeenabouttoremark，“Thesamewithmealso，“butonseeingthepairexchangingastrangeglance(asthoughinvoluntarilytheyhadsurprisedoneanother)，hadleftthewordsunspoken。Mycompanionsthensetthemselvestoamutuallyeagerquestioningwithrespecttotheirrespectiveidentities，pastexperiences，placesoforigin，anddestinations，evenasthoughtheyhadbeentwokinsmenwho，meetingunexpectedly，haddiscoveredforthefirsttimetheirbondofrelationship。 Meanwhiletheblack，fringedboughsofthepinetreeshungstretchedovertheflamesoftheMolokans’fireasthoughtheywouldcatchsomeofthefire’sglowandwarmth，orseizeitaltogether，andputitout。Andwhen，attimes，theirredtonguesprojectedbeyondthecornerofthebarraque，theymadethebuildinglookasthoughithadcaughtalight，andextendedtheirgloweventotherivulet。Constantlythenightwasgrowingdenserandmorestifling；constantlyitseemedtoembracethebodymoreandmorecaressingly，untilonebathedinitasinanocean。 Also，muchasawaveremovesdirtfromtheskin，sothesoftlyvocaldarknessseemedtorefreshandcleansethesoul。Foritisonsuchnightsasthatthatthesouldonsitsfinestraiment，andtrembleslikeabrideattheexpectationofsomethingglorious。 “Yousaythatshehadasquint？“presentlyIheardVasilicontinueinanundertone，andtheex-soldierslowlyreply: “Yes，shehadonefromchildhoodupwards——shehadonefromthedaywhenafallfromacartcausedhertoinjurehereyes。Yet，ifshehadnotalwaysgoneaboutwithoneofhereyesshaded，youwouldneverhaveguessedthefact。Also，shewassoneatandpractical！Andherkindness——well，itwaskindnessasinexhaustibleasthewaterofthatrivuletthere；itwaskindnessofthesortthatwishedwelltoalltheworld，andtoallanimals，andtoeverybeggar，andeventomyself！Soatlasttheregrippedmyheartthethought，’WhyshouldInottryasoldier’sluck？Sheisthemaster’sfavourite——true；yetnonethelesstheattemptshallbemadebyme。’However，thiswayorthat，alwaysthereplywas’No’；alwayssheputoutatmeanelbow，andcutmeshort。“ Vasili，lyingproneuponhisback，twitchedhismoustache，andchewedastalkofgrass。Hiseyeswerefullyopen，andforthesecondtimeIperceivedthatoneofthemwaslargerthantheother。Theex-soldier，seatednearVasili’sshoulder，stirredthefirewithabitofcharredstick，andsentsparksofgoldflyingtojointhemidgeswhichwereglidingtoandfroovertheblaze。 Everandanonnight-mothssubsidedintotheflameswithaplop，crackled，andbecamechangedintolumpsofblack。Formyownpart，Iconstructedacouchonapileofpineboughs，andtherelaydown。AndasIlistenedtotheex-soldier’sfamiliarstory，I recalledpersonswhomIhadononeandanotheroccasionremembered，andspeecheswhichononeandanotheroccasionhadmadeanimpressionuponme。 “Butatlast，“theex-soldiercontinued，“Itookheartofgrace，andcaughtherinabarn。Pressingherintoacorner，I said:’Nowletitbeyesorno。Of，courseitshallbeasyouwish，butrememberthatIamasoldierwithasmallstockofpatience。’Uponthatshebegantostruggleandexclaim:’Whatdoyouwant？Whatdoyouwant？’until，burstingintotearslikeagirl，shesaidthroughhersobs:’Donottouchme。Iamnotthesortofwomanforyou。Besides，Iloveanother——notourmaster，butanother，aworkman，aformerlodgerofours。Beforehedepartedhesaidtome:“WaitformeuntilIhavefoundyouanicehome，andreturnedtofetchyou“；andthoughitisseventeenyearssinceIheardspeechorwhisperofhim，andmaybehehassinceforgottenme，orfalleninlovewithsomeoneelse，orcometogrief，orbeenmurdered，you，whoareamap，willunderstandthatImustbidealittlewhilelonger。’True，thisoffendedme(forinwhatrespectwasIanyworsethantheotherman？)；yetalsoIfeltsorryforher，andgrievedthatIshouldhavewrongedherbythinkingherfrivolous，whenallthetimetherehadbeenTHISatherheart。Idrewback，therefore——Icouldnotlayafingeruponher，thoughshewasinmypower。AndatlastIsaid:’Good-bye！Iamgoingaway。’’Go，’shereplied。 ’Yes，gofortheloveofChrist！’……Wherefore，onthefollowingeveningIsettledaccountswithourmaster，andatdawnofaSundaymorningpackedmywallet，tookwithmethispipe，anddeparted。’Yes，takethepipe，PaulIvanovitch，’shesaidbeforemydeparture。’Perhapsitwillservetokeepyouinremembranceofme——youwhomhenceforthIshallregardasabrother，andwhomI thank。’……AsIwalkedawayIwasverynightotears，sokeenwasthepaininmyheart。Aye，keenitwasindeed！“ “Youdidright，“Vasiliremarkedsoftlyafterapause。 “Thingsmustalwayssobefall。Alwaysmustitbeacaseeitherof’Yes？’’Yes，’andoffolkcomingtogether，orof’No’’No，’ andoffolkparting。Andinvariablytheonepersoninthecasegrievestheother。Whyshouldthatbe？“ Emittingacloudofgreysmoke，theex-soldierrepliedthoughtfully: “Yes，IknowIdidright；butthatrightwasdoneonlyatagreatcost。“ “Andalwaysthattooisthecase，“Vasiliagreed。Thenheadded: “Generallysuchfortunefallstothelotofpeoplewhohavetenderconsciences。Hewhovalueshimselfalsovalueshisfellows；but，unfortunatelyamanalltooseldomvaluesevenhimself。“ “Towhomareyoureferring？Toyouandmyself？“ “ToourRussianfolkingeneral。“ “ThenyoucannothaveverymuchrespectforRussia。“Theex- soldier’stonehadtakenonacuriousnote。Heseemedtobefeelingbothastonishedatandgrievedforhiscompanion。 Theother，however，didnotreply；andafterafewmomentstheex-soldiersoftlyconcluded: “Sonowyouhaveheardmystory。“ Bythistimethecarpentershadceasedsingingaroundthebarraque，andlettheirfirediedownuntilquiveringonthewalloftheedificetherewasonlyafiery-redpatch，apatchbarelysufficienttorendervisibletheshadowsoftherocks；whilebesidethefiretherewasseatedonlyatallfigurewithablackbeardwhichhad，graspedinitshands，aheavycudgel，and，lyingnearitsrightfoot，anaxe。Thefigurewasthatofawatchmansetbythecarpenterstokeepaneyeuponourselves，theappointedwatchmen；thoughthefactinnowayoffendedus。 Overthedefile，inaraggedstripofsky，thereweregleamingstars，whiletherivuletwasbubblingandpurling，andfromtheobscurityoftheforesttherekeptcomingtoourears，nowthecautious，rustlingtreadofsomenightanimal，andnowthemournfulcryofanowl，untilallnatureseemedtobeinstinctwithasecretvitalitythesweetbreathofwhichkeptmovingthehearttohungerinsatiablyforthebeautiful。 Also，asIlaylisteningtothevoiceoftheex-soldier，avoicereminiscentofadistanttambourine，andtoVasili’spensivequestions，Iconceivedalikingforthemen，andbegantodetectthatintheirrelationstherewasdawningsomethinggoodandhuman。Atthesametime，theeffectofsomeofVasili’sdictaonRussiawastoarouseinmemingledfeelingswhichimpelledmeatoncetoarguewithhimandtoinducehimtospeakatgreaterlength，withmoreclarity，onthesubjectofourmutualfatherland。HencealwaysIhavelovedthatnightforthevisionswhichitbroughttome——visionswhichstillcomebacktomelikeadear，familiartale。