第56章

Theraindropsnowwerefallingmoregently，andinfinerlinesandmoretransparentnetwork，sothatonecouldoncemoredescrythegreattrunksoftheblackenedoaks，withthegreenandgoldoftheirleaves。Also，ourownhollowhadgrownlessdark，andtherecouldbediscerneditssmoky，satin-brightwalls。FromthosewallsKalininpickedabitofcharcoalwithfingerandthumb，saying: “Itwasshepherdsthatfiredtheplace。Seewheretheydraggedinhayanddeadleaves！Ashepherd’sfifehereaboutsmustbeatrulygloriousone！“ Lastly，claspinghisheadasthoughhewereabouttofallasleep，hesankhischinbetweenhisknees，andrelapsedintosilence。 Presentlyabrilliant，sinuouslittlerivuletwhichhadlongbeenlavingthebarerootsofourtreebroughtfloatingpastusaredandfawnleaf。 “Howpretty，“Ithought，“thatleafwilllookfromadistancewhenreposingonthesurfaceofthesea！For，likethesunwhenheisinsolitarypossessionoftheheavens，thatleafwillstandoutagainsttheblue，silkyexpanselikealonelyredstar。“ Afterawhilemycompanionbegan，catlike，topurrtohimselfasong。Itsmelody，themelodyof“themoonwithdrewbehindacloud，“wasfamiliarenough，butnotsothewords，whichran: 0hValentina，wondrousmaid，Morecomelythouthane’eraflow’r！ Thenurse’ssondothpineforthee，Andyearntoservetheeeveryhour！ “Whatdoesthatdittymean？“Iinquired。 Kalininstraightenedhimself，gaveawriggletoaformthatwasaslitheasalizard’s，andpassedonehandoverhisface。 “Itisacertaincomposition，“herepliedpresently。“Itisacompositionthatwascomposedbyamilitaryclerkwhoafterwardsdiedofconsumption。Hewasmyfriendhislifelong，andmyonlyfriend，andatrueone，besidesbeingamanoutofthecommon。“ “AndwhowasValentina？“ “Myone-timemistress，“Kalininspokeunwillingly。 “Andhe，theclerk——washeinlovewithher？“ “Ohdearno！“ EvidentlyKalininhadnoparticularwishtodiscussthesubject，forhehuggedhimselftogether，buriedhisfaceinhishands，andmuttered: “Ishouldliketokindleafire，wereitnotthateverythingintheplaceistoodampforthepurpose。“ Thewindshookthetrees，andwhistleddespondently，whilethefine，persistentrainstillwhippedtheearth。 “Ibuthumbleam，andpoor，Norfatedtobeotherwise，“ sangKalininsoftlyas，flinginguphisheadwithanunexpectedmovement，headdedmeaningly: “Yes，itisamournfulsong，asongwhichcouldmovetotears。 Onlytotwopersonshasiteverbeenknown；tomyfriendtheclerkandtomyself。Yes，andtoHER，thoughIneedhardlyaddthatatoncesheforgotit。“ AndKalinin’seyesflashedintoasmileasheadded: “Ithinkthat，asayoungman，youhadbetterlearnforthwithwherethegreatestdangerlurksinlife。Letmetellyouastory。“ Anduponthataveryhumantalefilteredthroughthesilkenmonotonousswishofthedownpour，with，forlistenerstoit，onlytherainandmyself。 “LukianovwasNEVERinlovewithher，“henarrated。“OnlyIwasthat。AllthatLukianovdidinthematterwastowrite，atmyrequest，someverses。Whenshefirstappearedonthescene(I meanValentinaIgnatievna)Iwasjustturnednineteenyearsofage；andtheinstantthatmyeyesfelluponherformIrealisedthatinheralonelaymyfate，andmyheartalmoststoppedbeating，andmyvitalitystretchedouttowardsherasaspeckofdustfliestowardsafire。YetallthisIhadtoconcealasbestImight；withtheresultthatinthecompany’spresenceIfeltlikeasentrydoingguarddutyinthepresenceofhiscommandingofficer。Butatlast，thoughIstrovetopullmyselftogether，tosteadymyselfagainstthefermentthatwasraginginmybreast，somethinghappened。ValentinaIgnatievnawasthenagedabouttwenty-five，andverybeautiful——marvellous，infact！Also，shewasanorphan，sinceherfatherhadbeenkilledbytheChechentzes，andhermotherhaddiedofsmallpoxatSamarkand。AsregardsherkinshipwiththeGeneral，shestoodtohimintherelationofniecebymarriage。Golden-locked，andasskin-fairasenamelledporcelain，shehadeyeslikeemeralds，andafigurewhollysymmetrical，thoughasslimasawafer。Forbedroomshehadalittlecornerapartmentsituatednexttothekitchen(theGeneralpossessedhisownhouse，ofcourse)，while，inaddition，theyallottedherabrightlittleboudoirinwhichshedisposedhercuriosandknickknacks，fromcut-glassbottlesandgobletstoacopperpipeandaglassringmountedoncopper。Thisring，whenturned，usedtoemitshowersofglitteringsparks，thoughshewasinnowayafraidofthem，butwouldsingasshemadethemdance: “Notformethespringwilldawn！ NotformetheBugwillspate！ Notformelove’ssmilewillwait！ Notforme，ah，notforme！ “Constantlywouldshewarblethis。 “Also，oncesheflashedanappealatmewithhereyes，andsaid: “’Alexei，pleasenevertouchanythinginmyroom，formythingsaretoofragile。’ “Sureenough，inHERpresenceANYTHINGmighthavefallenfrommyhands！ “Meanwhilehersongabout’Notforme’usedtomakemefeelsorryforher。’Notforyou？’Iusedtosaytomyself。’OughtnotEVERYTHINGtobeforyou？’Andthisreflectionwouldcausemyhearttoyearnandstretchtowardsher。Next，Iboughtaguitar，aninstrumentwhichIcouldnotplay，andtookitforinstructiontoLukianov，theclerkoftheDivisionalStaff，whichhaditsheadquartersinourstreet。InpassingImaysaythatLukianovwasalittleJewishconvertwithdarkhair，sallowfeatures，andgimlet-sharpeyes，butbeyondallthingsafellowwithbrains，andonewhocouldplaytheguitarunforgettably。 “Oncehesaid:’Inlifeallthingsareattainable——nothingneedweloseforwantoftrying。Forwhencedoeseverythingcome？Fromtheplainestofmankind。AmanmaynotbeBORNintherankofageneral，butatleasthemayattaintothatposition。Also，thebeginningandendingofallthingsiswoman。Allthatsherequiresforhercaptivationispoetry。Hence，letmewriteyousomeverses，thatyoumaytenderthemtoherasanoffering。’ “These，mindyou，werethewordsofamaninwhomtheheartwasabsolutelysingle，absolutelydispassionate。“ UntilthenKalininhadtoldhisstoryswiftly，withanimation； butthereafterheseemed，asitwere，tobecomeextinguished。 Afterapauseofafewsecondshecontinued——continuedinslower，toallappearancesmoreunwilling，accents—— “AtthetimeIbelievedwhatLukianovsaid，butsubsequentlyI cametoseethatthingswerenotaltogetherashehadrepresented——thatwomanismerelyadelusion，andpoetrymerelyfiddle-faddle；andthatamancannotescapehisfate，andthat，thoughgoodinwar，boldnessis，inpeaceaffairs，butnakedeffrontery。Inthis，brother，liesthechief，thefundamentallawoflife。Fortheworldcontainscertainpeopleofhighstation，andcertainpeopleoflow；andsolongasthesetwocategoriesretaintheirrespectivepositions，allgoeswell；butassoonaseveramanseekstopassfromtheuppercategorytotheinferiorcategory，orfromtheinferiortotheupper，thefatfallsintothefire，andthatmanfindshimselfstuckmidway，stuckneitherherenorthere，andboundtoabidetherefortheremainderofhislife，fortheremainderofhislife……Alwayskeeptoyourownposition，tothepositionassignedyoubyfate……WilltherainNEVERcease，thinkyou？“ Bythistime，asamatteroffact，theraindrops。werefallinglessheavilyanddenselythanhitherto，andthewetcloudswerebeginningtorevealbrightpatchesinthemoisture-soakedfirmament，asevidencethatthesunwasstillinexistence。 “Continue，“Isaid。 Kalininlaughed。 “Thenyoufindthestoryaninterestingone，“heremarked。 Presentlyheresumed: “AsIhavesaid，ItrustedLukianovimplicitly，andbeggedofhimtowritetheverses。Andwritethemhedid——hewrotethemtheverynextday。True，atthisdistanceoftimeIhaveforgottenthewordsintheirentirety，butatleastIrememberthatthereoccurredinthemaphrasetotheeffectthat’fordaysandweekshaveyoureyesbeenconsumingmyheartinthefireoflove，sopityme，Ipray。’Ithenproceededtocopyoutthepoem，andtremblinglytoleaveitonhertable。 “Thenextmorning，whenIwastidyingherboudoir，shemadeanunexpectedentry，and，cladinaloose，reddressing-gown，andholdingacigarettebetweenherlips，saidtomewithakindlysmileassheproducedmypreciouspaperofverses: “’Alexei，didYOUwritethese？’ “’Yes，’wasmyreply。’AndforChrist’ssakepardonmeforthesame。’ “’Whatapitythatsuchafancyshouldhaveenteredyourhead！ For，yousee，Iamengagedalready——myuncleisintendingtomarrymetoDoctorKliachka，andIampowerlessinthematter。’