Insteadofbeingaprisonerhereyoumaygoabroadagain，Pyecraft；
youmaytravel——“
Astillhappierideacametome。“Youneedneverfearashipwreck。
Allyouneeddoisjustslipoffsomeorallofyourclothes，takethenecessaryamountofluggageinyourhand，andfloatupintheair——“
Inhisemotionhedroppedthetack-hammerwithinanaceofmyhead。
“ByJove！“hesaid，“Ishallbeabletocomebacktotheclubagain。“
Thethingpulledmeupshort。“ByJove！“Isaidfaintly。“Yes。
Ofcourse——youwill。“
Hedid。Hedoes。Therehesitsbehindmenow，stuffing——asIlive！——
athirdgoofbutteredtea-cake。Andnooneinthewholeworldknows——
excepthishousekeeperandme——thatheweighspracticallynothing；
thatheisamereboringmassofassimilatorymatter，merecloudsinclothing，niente，nefas，themostinconsiderableofmen。TherehesitswatchinguntilIhavedonethiswriting。Then，ifhecan，hewillwaylayme。Hewillcomebillowinguptome……
Hewilltellmeoveragainallaboutit，howitfeels，howitdoesn’tfeel，howhesometimeshopesitispassingoffalittle。
Andalwayssomewhereinthatfat，abundantdiscoursehewillsay，“Thesecret’skeeping，eh？Ifanyoneknewofit——Ishouldbesoashamed……Makesafellowlooksuchafool，youknow。
Crawlingaboutonaceilingandallthat……“
AndnowtoeludePyecraft，occupying，ashedoes，anadmirablestrategicpositionbetweenmeandthedoor。
5。MR。SKELMERSDALEINFAIRYLAND
“There’samaninthatshop，“saidtheDoctor，“whohasbeeninFairyland。“
“Nonsense！“Isaid，andstaredbackattheshop。Itwastheusualvillageshop，post-office，telegraphwireonitsbrow，zincpansandbrushesoutside，boots，shirtings，andpottedmeatsinthewindow。
“Tellmeaboutit，“Isaid，afterapause。
“_I_don’tknow，“saidtheDoctor。“He’sanordinarysortoflout——
Skelmersdaleishisname。ButeverybodyaboutherebelievesitlikeBibletruth。“
Irevertedpresentlytothetopic。
“Iknownothingaboutit，“saidtheDoctor，“andIdon’tWANTtoknow。
Iattendedhimforabrokenfinger——MarriedandSinglecricketmatch——
andthat’swhenIstruckthenonsense。That’sall。ButitshowsyouthesortofstuffIhavetodealwith，anyhow，eh？Nicetogetmodernsanitaryideasintoapeoplelikethis！“
“Very，“Isaidinamildlysympathetictone，andhewentontotellmeaboutthatbusinessoftheBonhamdrain。Thingsofthatkind，Iobserve，areapttoweighonthemindsofMedicalOfficersofHealth。
IwasassympatheticasIknewhow，andwhenhecalledtheBonhampeople“asses，“Isaidtheywere“thunderingasses，“buteventhatdidnotallayhim。
Afterwards，laterinthesummer，anurgentdesiretosecludemyself，whilefinishingmychapteronSpiritualPathology——itwasreally，Ibelieve，stiffertowritethanitistoread——tookmetoBignor。
Ilodgedatafarmhouse，andpresentlyfoundmyselfoutsidethatlittlegeneralshopagain，insearchoftobacco。“Skelmersdale，“
saidItomyselfatthesightofit，andwentin。
Iwasservedbyashort，butshapely，youngman，withafairdownycomplexion，good，smallteeth，blueeyes，andalanguidmanner。
Iscrutinisedhimcuriously。Exceptforatouchofmelancholyinhisexpression，hewasnothingoutofthecommon。Hewasintheshirt-sleevesandtucked-upapronofhistrade，andapencilwasthrustbehindhisinoffensiveear。Athwarthisblackwaistcoatwasagoldchain，fromwhichdangledabentguinea。
“Nothingmoreto-day，sir？“heinquired。Heleantforwardovermybillashespoke。
“AreyouMr。Skelmersdale？“saidI。
“Iam，sir，“hesaid，withoutlookingup。
“IsittruethatyouhavebeeninFairyland？“
Helookedupatmeforamomentwithwrinkledbrows，withanaggrieved，exasperatedface。“OSHUTit！“hesaid，and，afteramomentofhostility，eyetoeye，hewentonaddingupmybill。“Four，sixandahalf，“hesaid，afterapause。“Thankyou，Sir。“
So，unpropitiously，myacquaintancewithMr。Skelmersdalebegan。
Well，Igotfromthattoconfidence——throughaseriesoftoilsomeefforts。IpickedhimupagainintheVillageRoom，whereofanightIwenttoplaybilliardsaftermysupper，andmitigatetheextremeseclusionfrommykindthatwassohelpfultoworkduringtheday。
Icontrivedtoplaywithhimandafterwardstotalkwithhim。IfoundtheonesubjecttoavoidwasFairyland。Oneverythingelsehewasopenandamiableinacommonplacesortofway，butonthathehadbeenworried——itwasamanifesttaboo。OnlyonceintheroomdidIheartheslightestallusiontohisexperienceinhispresence，andthatwasbyacross-grainedfarmhandwhowaslosingtohim。
Skelmersdalehadrunabreakintodoublefigures，which，bytheBignorstandards，wasuncommonlygoodplay。“Steadyon！“saidhisadversary。
“Noneofyourfairyflukes！“
Skelmersdalestaredathimforamoment，cueinhand，thenflungitdownandwalkedoutoftheroom。
“Whycan’tyouleave’imalone？“saidarespectableelderwhohadbeenenjoyingthegame，andinthegeneralmurmurofdisapprovalthegrinofsatisfiedwitfadedfromtheploughboy’sface。
Iscentedmyopportunity。“What’sthisjoke，“saidI，“aboutFairyland？“
“’Tain’tnojokeaboutFairyland，nottoyoungSkelmersdale，“saidtherespectableelder，drinking。Alittlemanwithrosycheekswasmorecommunicative。“TheyDOsay，sir，“hesaid，“thattheytookhimintoAldingtonKnollan’kep’himthereamatterofthreeweeks。“
Andwiththatthegatheringwaswellunderweigh。Onceonesheephadstarted，otherswerereadyenoughtofollow，andinalittletimeIhadatleasttheexterioraspectoftheSkelmersdaleaffair。
Formerly，beforehecametoBignor，hehadbeeninthatverysimilarlittleshopatAldingtonCorner，andtherewhateveritwasdidhappenhadtakenplace。ThestorywasclearthathehadstayedoutlateonenightontheKnollandvanishedforthreeweeksfromthesightofmen，andhadreturnedwith“hiscuffsascleanaswhenhestarted，“
andhispocketsfullofdustandashes。Hereturnedinastateofmoodywretchednessthatonlyslowlypassedaway，andformanydayshewouldgivenoaccountofwhereitwashehadbeen。ThegirlhewasengagedtoatClaptonHilltriedtogetitoutofhim，andthrewhimoverpartlybecauseherefused，andpartlybecause，asshesaid，hefairlygaveherthe“’ump。“Andthenwhen，sometimeafter，heletouttosomeonecarelesslythathehadbeeninFairylandandwantedtogoback，andwhenthethingspreadandthesimplebadinageofthecountrysidecameintoplay，hethrewuphissituationabruptly，andcametoBignortogetoutofthefuss。ButastowhathadhappenedinFairylandnoneofthesepeopleknew。TherethegatheringintheVillageRoomwenttopieceslikeapackatfault。Onesaidthis，andanothersaidthat。
Theirairindealingwiththismarvelwasostensiblycriticalandsceptical，butIcouldseeaconsiderableamountofbeliefshowingthroughtheirguardedqualifications。Itookalineofintelligentinterest，tingedwithareasonabledoubtofthewholestory。
“IfFairyland’sinsideAldingtonKnoll，“Isaid，“whydon’tyoudigitout？“
“That’swhatIsays，“saidtheyoungploughboy。
“There’sa-manyhavetriedtodigonAldingtonKnoll，“saidtherespectableelder，solemnly，“onetimeandanother。Butthere’snoneasgoesaboutto-daytotellwhattheygotbydigging。“
Theunanimityofvaguebeliefthatsurroundedmewasratherimpressive；
IfelttheremustsurelybeSOMETHINGattherootofsomuchconviction，andthealreadyprettykeencuriosityIfeltabouttherealfactsofthecasewasdistinctlywhetted。Iftheserealfactsweretobegotfromanyone，theyweretobegotfromSkelmersdalehimself；
andIsetmyself，therefore，stillmoreassiduouslytoeffacethefirstbadimpressionIhadmadeandwinhisconfidencetothepitchofvoluntaryspeech。InthatendeavourIhadasocialadvantage。
Beingapersonofaffabilityandnoapparentemployment，andwearingtweedsandknickerbockers，IwasnaturallyclassedasanartistinBignor，andintheremarkablecodeofsocialprecedenceprevalentinBignoranartistranksconsiderablyhigherthanagrocer’sassistant。
Skelmersdale，liketoomanyofhisclass，issomethingofasnob；
