第37章

类别:其他 作者:H。 G。 Wells字数:3097更新时间:18/12/27 08:56:22
FortwoyearsMissWinchelseacouldnotgotoseeherfriends,inspiteofthereiteratedinvitationsofMrs。Sevenoaks——itbecamefullSevenoaksinthesecondyear。ThenonedayneartheEasterrestshefeltlonelyandwithoutasoultounderstandherintheworld,andhermindranoncemoreonwhatiscalledPlatonicfriendship。Fannywasclearlyhappyandbusyinhernewsphereofdomesticity,butnodoubtHEhadhislonelyhours。DidheeverthinkofthosedaysinRome——gonenowbeyondrecalling?Noonehadunderstoodherashehaddone;nooneinalltheworld。Itwouldbeasortofmelancholypleasuretotalktohimagain,andwhatharmcoulditdo?Whyshouldshedenyherself?Thatnightshewroteasonnet,allbutthelasttwolinesoftheoctave——whichwouldnotcome,andthenextdayshecomposedagracefullittlenotetotellFannyshewascomingdown。 Andsoshesawhimagain。 Evenatthefirstencounteritwasevidenthehadchanged;heseemedstouterandlessnervous,anditspeedilyappearedthathisconversationhadalreadylostmuchofitsolddelicacy。ThereevenseemedajustificationforHelen’sdescriptionofweaknessinhisface——incertainlightsitWASweak。Heseemedbusyandpreoccupiedabouthisaffairs,andalmostundertheimpressionthatMissWinchelseahadcomeforthesakeofFanny。HediscussedhisdinnerwithFannyinanintelligentway。Theyonlyhadonegoodlongtalktogether,andthatcametonothing。HedidnotrefertoRome,andspentsometimeabusingamanwhohadstolenanideahehadhadforatext-book。 ItdidnotseemaverywonderfulideatoMissWinchelsea。ShediscoveredhehadforgottenthenamesofmorethanhalfthepainterswhoseworktheyhadrejoicedoverinFlorence。 Itwasasadlydisappointingweek,andMissWinchelseawasgladwhenitcametoanend。Undervariousexcusessheavoidedvisitingthemagain。Afteratimethevisitor’sroomwasoccupiedbytheirtwolittleboys,andFanny’sinvitationsceased。Theintimacyofherlettershadlongsincefadedaway。 ThemanwiththewhitefaceenteredthecarriageatRugby。Hemovedslowlyinspiteoftheurgencyofhisporter,andevenwhilehewasstillontheplatformInotedhowillheseemed。Hedroppedintothecorneroveragainstmewithasigh,madeanincompleteattempttoarrangehistravellingshawl,andbecamemotionless,withhiseyesstaringvacantly。Presentlyhewasmovedbyasenseofmyobservation,lookedupatme,andputoutaspiritlesshandforhisnewspaper。Thenheglancedagaininmydirection。 Ifeignedtoread。IfearedIhadunwittinglyembarrassedhim,andinamomentIwassurprisedtofindhimspeaking。 “Ibegyourpardon?“saidI。 “Thatbook,“herepeated,pointingaleanfinger,“isaboutdreams。“ “Obviously,“Ianswered,foritwasFortnum-Roscoe’sDreamStates,andthetitlewasonthecover。Hehungsilentforaspaceasifhesoughtwords。“Yes,“hesaidatlast,“buttheytellyounothing。“ Ididnotcatchhismeaningforasecond。 “Theydon’tknow,“headded。 Ilookedalittlemoreattentivelyathisface。 “Therearedreams,“hesaid,“anddreams。“ ThatsortofpropositionIneverdispute。 “Isuppose——“hehesitated。“Doyoueverdream?Imeanvividly。“ “Idreamverylittle,“Ianswered。“IdoubtifIhavethreevividdreamsinayear。“ “Ah!“hesaid,andseemedforamomenttocollecthisthoughts。 “Yourdreamsdon’tmixwithyourmemories?“heaskedabruptly。 “Youdon’tfindyourselfindoubt;didthishappenordiditnot?“ “Hardlyever。Exceptjustforamomentaryhesitationnowandthen。 Isupposefewpeopledo。“ “DoesHEsay——“heindicatedthebook。 “Saysithappensattimesandgivestheusualexplanationaboutintensityofimpressionandtheliketoaccountforitsnothappeningasarule。Isupposeyouknowsomethingofthesetheories——“ “Verylittle——exceptthattheyarewrong。“ Hisemaciatedhandplayedwiththestrapofthewindowforatime。 Ipreparedtoresumereading,andthatseemedtoprecipitatehisnextremark。Heleantforwardalmostasthoughhewouldtouchme。 “Isn’ttheresomethingcalledconsecutivedreaming——thatgoesonnightafternight?“ “Ibelievethereis。Therearecasesgiveninmostbooksonmentaltrouble。“ “Mentaltrouble!Yes。Idaresaythereare。It’stherightplaceforthem。ButwhatImean——“Helookedathisbonyknuckles。 “Isthatsortofthingalwaysdreaming?ISitdreaming?Orisitsomethingelse?Mightn’titbesomethingelse?“ Ishouldhavesnubbedhispersistentconversationbutforthedrawnanxietyofhisface。Iremembernowthelookofhisfadedeyesandthelidsred-stained——perhapsyouknowthatlook。 “I’mnotjustarguingaboutamatterofopinion,“hesaid。“Thething’skillingme。“ “Dreams?“ “Ifyoucallthemdreams。Nightafternight。Vivid!——sovivid…… this——“(heindicatedthelandscapethatwentstreamingbythewindow)“seemsunrealincomparison!IcanscarcelyrememberwhoIam,whatbusinessIamon……“ Hepaused。“Evennow——“ “Thedreamisalwaysthesame——doyoumean?“Iasked。 “It’sover。“ “Youmean?“ “Idied。“ “Died?“ “Smashedandkilled,andnow,somuchofmeasthatdreamwas,isdead。Deadforever。IdreamtIwasanotherman,youknow,livinginadifferentpartoftheworldandinadifferenttime。Idreamtthatnightafternight。NightafternightIwokeintothatotherlife。Freshscenesandfreshhappenings——untilIcameuponthelast——“ “Whenyoudied?“ “WhenIdied。“ “Andsincethen——“ “No,“hesaid。“ThankGod!Thatwastheendofthedream……“ ItwasclearIwasinforthisdream。Andafterall,Ihadanhourbeforeme,thelightwasfadingfast,andFortnum-Roscoehasadrearywaywithhim。“Livinginadifferenttime,“Isaid: “doyoumeaninsomedifferentage?“ “Yes。“ “Past?“ “No,tocome——tocome。“ “Theyearthreethousand,forexample?“ “Idon’tknowwhatyearitwas。IdidwhenIwasasleep,whenIwasdreaming,thatis,butnotnow——notnowthatIamawake。There’salotofthingsIhaveforgottensinceIwokeoutofthesedreams,thoughIknewthematthetimewhenIwas——Isupposeitwasdreaming。 Theycalledtheyeardifferentlyfromourwayofcallingtheyear…… WhatDIDtheycallit?“Heputhishandtohisforehead。“No,“saidhe,“Iforget。“ Hesatsmilingweakly。ForamomentIfearedhedidnotmeantotellmehisdream。AsaruleIhatepeoplewhotelltheirdreams,butthisstruckmedifferently。Iprofferedassistanceeven。“Itbegan——“ Isuggested。 “Itwasvividfromthefirst。Iseemedtowakeupinitsuddenly。 Andit’scuriousthatinthesedreamsIamspeakingofIneverrememberedthislifeIamlivingnow。Itseemedasifthedreamlifewasenoughwhileitlasted。Perhaps——ButIwilltellyouhowIfindmyselfwhenIdomybesttorecallitall。Idon’trememberanythingdearlyuntilIfoundmyselfsittinginasortofloggialookingoutoverthesea。Ihadbeendozing,andsuddenlyIwokeup——freshandvivid——notabitdream-like——becausethegirlhadstoppedfanningme。“ “Thegirl?“ “Yes,thegirl。Youmustnotinterruptoryouwillputmeout。“ Hestoppedabruptly。“Youwon’tthinkI’mmad?“hesaid。 “No,“Ianswered;“you’vebeendreaming。Tellmeyourdream。“