第39章

类别:其他 作者:H。 G。 Wells字数:3640更新时间:18/12/27 08:56:22
“Theairwasfullofmusic,fullofharmoniousscents,fulloftherhythmofbeautifulmotions。Thousandsofbeautifulpeopleswarmedaboutthehall,crowdedthegalleries,satinamyriadrecesses;theyweredressedinsplendidcoloursandcrownedwithflowers;thousandsdancedaboutthegreatcirclebeneaththewhiteimagesoftheancientgods,andgloriousprocessionsofyouthsandmaidenscameandwent。Wetwodanced,notthedrearymonotoniesofyourdays——ofthistime,Imean——butdancesthatwerebeautiful,intoxicating。AndevennowIcanseemyladydancing—— dancingjoyously。Shedanced,youknow,withaseriousface;shedancedwithaseriousdignity,andyetshewassmilingatmeandcaressingme——smilingandcaressingwithhereyes。 “Themusicwasdifferent,“hemurmured。“Itwent——Icannotdescribeit;butitwasinfinitelyricherandmorevariedthananymusicthathasevercometomeawake。 “Andthen——itwaswhenwehaddonedancing——amancametospeaktome。Hewasalean,resoluteman,verysoberlycladforthatplace,andalreadyIhadmarkedhisfacewatchingmeinthebreakfastinghall,andafterwardsaswewentalongthepassageIhadavoidedhiseye。Butnow,aswesatinalittlealcove,smilingatthepleasureofallthepeoplewhowenttoandfroacrosstheshiningfloor,hecameandtouchedme,andspoketomesothatIwasforcedtolisten。 Andheaskedthathemightspeaktomeforalittletimeapart。 “’No,’Isaid。’Ihavenosecretsfromthislady。Whatdoyouwanttotellme?’ “Hesaiditwasatrivialmatter,oratleastadrymatter,foraladytohear。 “’Perhapsformetohear,’saidI。 “Heglancedather,asthoughalmosthewouldappealtoher。ThenheaskedmesuddenlyifIhadheardofagreatandavengingdeclarationthatEveshamhadmade。Now,Eveshamhadalwaysbeforebeenthemannexttomyselfintheleadershipofthatgreatpartyinthenorth。 Hewasaforcible,hardandtactlessman,andonlyIhadbeenabletocontrolandsoftenhim。Itwasonhisaccountevenmorethanmyown,Ithink,thattheothershadbeensodismayedatmyretreat。 SothisquestionaboutwhathehaddonereawakenedmyoldinterestinthelifeIhadputasidejustforamoment。 “’Ihavetakennoheedofanynewsformanydays,’Isaid。’WhathasEveshambeensaying?’ “Andwiththatthemanbegan,nothingloath,andImustconfessevenIwasstruckbyEvesham’srecklessfollyinthewildandthreateningwordshehadused。AndthismessengertheyhadsenttomenotonlytoldmeofEvesham’sspeech,butwentontoaskcounselandtopointoutwhatneedtheyhadofme。Whilehetalked,myladysatalittleforwardandwatchedhisfaceandmine。 “Myoldhabitsofschemingandorganisingreassertedthemselves。 Icouldevenseemyselfsuddenlyreturningtothenorth,andallthedramaticeffectofit。Allthatthismansaidwitnessedtothedisorderofthepartyindeed,butnottoitsdamage。IshouldgobackstrongerthanIhadcome。AndthenIthoughtofmylady。 Yousee——howcanItellyou?Therewerecertainpeculiaritiesofourrelationship——asthingsareIneednottellyouaboutthat——whichwouldrenderherpresencewithmeimpossible。Ishouldhavehadtoleaveher;indeed,Ishouldhavehadtorenounceherclearlyandopenly,ifIwastodoallthatIcoulddointhenorth。AndthemanknewTHAT,evenashetalkedtoherandme,knewitaswellasshedid,thatmystepstodutywere——first,separation,thenabandonment。Atthetouchofthatthoughtmydreamofareturnwasshattered。Iturnedonthemansuddenly,ashewasimagininghiseloquencewasgaininggroundwithme。 “’WhathaveItodowiththesethingsnow?’Isaid。’Ihavedonewiththem。DoyouthinkIamcoquettingwithyourpeopleincominghere?’ “’No,’hesaid;’but——’ “’Whycannotyouleavemealone?Ihavedonewiththesethings。 Ihaveceasedtobeanythingbutaprivateman。’ “’Yes,’heanswered。’Buthaveyouthought?——thistalkofwar,theserecklesschallenges,thesewildaggressions——’ “Istoodup。 “’No,’Icried。’Iwon’thearyou。Itookcountofallthosethings,Iweighedthem——andIhavecomeaway。’ “Heseemedtoconsiderthepossibilityofpersistence。Helookedfrommetowheretheladysatregardingus。 “’War,’hesaid,asifhewerespeakingtohimself,andthenturnedslowlyfrommeandwalkedaway。Istood,caughtinthewhirlofthoughtshisappealhadsetgoing。 “Iheardmylady’svoice。 “’Dear,’shesaid;’butiftheyhaveneedofyou——’ “Shedidnotfinishhersentence,sheletitrestthere。Iturnedtohersweetface,andthebalanceofmymoodswayedandreeled。 “’Theywantmeonlytodothethingtheydarenotdothemselves,’I said。’IftheydistrustEveshamtheymustsettlewithhimthemselves。’ “Shelookedatmedoubtfully。 “’Butwar——’shesaid。 “IsawadoubtonherfacethatIhadseenbefore,adoubtofherselfandme,thefirstshadowofthediscoverythat,seenstronglyandcompletely,mustdriveusapartforever。 “Now,Iwasanoldermindthanhers,andIcouldswayhertothisbelieforthat。 “’Mydearone,’Isaid,’youmustnottroubleoverthesethings。 Therewillbenowar。Certainlytherewillbenowar。Theageofwarsispast。Trustmetoknowthejusticeofthiscase。Theyhavenorightuponme,dearest,andnoonehasarightuponme。 Ihavebeenfreetochoosemylife,andIhavechosenthis。’ “’ButWAR——’shesaid。 “Isatdownbesideher。Iputanarmbehindherandtookherhandinmine。Isetmyselftodrivethatdoubtaway——Isetmyselftofillhermindwithpleasantthingsagain。Iliedtoher,andinlyingtoherIliedalsotomyself。Andshewasonlytooreadytobelieveme,onlytooreadytoforget。 “Verysoontheshadowhadgoneagain,andwewerehasteningtoourbathing-placeintheGrottadelBovoMarino,whereitwasourcustomtobatheeveryday。Weswamandsplashedoneanother,andinthatbuoyantwaterIseemedtobecomesomethinglighterandstrongerthanaman。Andatlastwecameoutdrippingandrejoicingandracedamongtherocks。AndthenIputonadrybathing-dress,andwesattobaskinthesun,andpresentlyInodded,restingmyheadagainstherknee,andsheputherhanduponmyhairandstrokeditsoftlyandIdozed。Andbehold!asitwerewiththesnappingofthestringofaviolin,Iwasawakening,andIwasinmyownbedinLiverpool,inthelifeofto-day。 “OnlyforatimeIcouldnotbelievethatallthesevividmomentshadbeennomorethanthesubstanceofadream。 “Intruth,Icouldnotbelieveitadreamforallthesoberingrealityofthingsaboutme。Ibathedanddressedasitwerebyhabit,andasIshavedIarguedwhyIofallmenshouldleavethewomanIlovedtogobacktofantasticpoliticsinthehardandstrenuousnorth。EvenifEveshamdidforcetheworldbacktowar,whatwasthattome?Iwasaman,withtheheartofaman,andwhyshouldIfeeltheresponsibilityofadeityforthewaytheworldmightgo? “YouknowthatisnotquitethewayIthinkaboutaffairs,aboutmyrealaffairs。Iamasolicitor,youknow,withapointofview。 “Thevisionwassoreal,youmustunderstand,soutterlyunlikeadreamthatIkeptperpetuallyrecallinglittleirrelevantdetails; eventheornamentofabook-coverthatlayonmywife’ssewing-machineinthebreakfast-roomrecalledwiththeutmostvividnessthegiltlinethatranabouttheseatinthealcovewhereIhadtalkedwiththemessengerfrommydesertedparty。Haveyoueverheardofadreamthathadaqualitylikethat?“ “Like——?“ “Sothatafterwardsyourememberedlittledetailsyouhadforgotten。“ Ithought。Ihadnevernoticedthepointbefore,buthewasright。 “Never,“Isaid。“Thatiswhatyouneverseemtodowithdreams。“ “No,“heanswered。“ButthatisjustwhatIdid。Iamasolicitor,youmustunderstand,inLiverpool,andIcouldnothelpwonderingwhattheclientsandbusinesspeopleIfoundmyselftalkingtoinmyofficewouldthinkifItoldthemsuddenlyIwasinlovewithagirlwhowouldbebornacoupleofhundredyearsorsohence,andworriedaboutthepoliticsofmygreat-great-great-grandchildren。 Iwaschieflybusythatdaynegotiatinganinety-nine-yearbuildinglease。Itwasaprivatebuilderinahurry,andwewantedtotiehimineverypossibleway。Ihadaninterviewwithhim,andheshowedacertainwantoftemperthatsentmetobedstillirritated。ThatnightIhadnodream。NordidIdreamthenextnight,atleast,toremember。 “Somethingofthatintenserealityofconvictionvanished。IbegantofeelsureitWASadream。Andthenitcameagain。