第19章

类别:其他 作者:Anonymous字数:4324更新时间:18/12/27 09:03:05
forayounggirlisoftendupedbyoneorotherofthesehallucinations。ThereforeIdonotblameyou。Thesensationsyoufeel,therushofsensibilitywhichhascomefromitshiddensourceuponyourheartanduponyourmind,thehappinesswithwhichyouthinkofSavinien,areallnatural。But,mydarlingchild,societydemands,asourgoodabbehastoldus,thesacrificeofmanynaturalinclinations。 Thedestiniesofmenandwomendiffer。IwasabletochooseUrsulaMirouetformywife;IcouldgotoherandsaythatIlovedher;butayounggirlisfalsetoherselfifsheaskstheloveofthemansheloves。Awomanhasnottherightwhichmenhavetoseektheaccomplishmentofherhopesinopenday。Modestyistoher——abovealltoyou,myUrsula,——theinsurmountablebarrierwhichprotectsthesecretsofherheart。YourhesitationinconfidingtomethesefirstemotionsshowsmeyouwouldsuffercrueltortureratherthanadmittoSavinien——“ “Oh,yes!“shesaid。 “But,mychild,youmustdomore。Youmustrepressthesefeelings;youmustforgetthem。“ “Why?“ “Because,mydarling,youmustloveonlythemanyoumarry;and,evenifMonsieurSaviniendePortenduerelovedyou——“ “Ineverthoughtofit。“ “Butlisten:evenifhelovedyou,evenifhismotheraskedmetogivehimyourhand,IshouldnotconsenttothemarriageuntilIhadsubjectedhimtoalongandthoroughprobation。Hisconducthasbeensuchastomakefamiliesdistrusthimandtoputobstaclesbetweenhimselfandheiresseswhichcannotbeeasilyovercome。“ AsoftsmilecameinplaceoftearsonUrsula’ssweetfaceasshesaid,“Thenpovertyisgoodsometimes。“ Thedoctorcouldfindnoanswertosuchinnocence。 “Whathashedone,godfather?“sheasked。 “Intwoyears,mytreasure,hehasincurredonehundredandtwentythousandfrancsofdebt。HehashadthefollytogethimselflockedupinSaint-Pelagie,thedebtor’sprison;animproprietywhichwillalwaysbe,inthesedays,adiscredittohim。Aspendthriftwhoiswillingtoplungehispoormotherintopovertyanddistressmightcausehiswife,asyourpoorfatherdid,todieofdespair。“ “Don’tyouthinkhewilldobetter?“sheasked。 “Ifhismotherpayshisdebtshewillbepenniless,andIdon’tknowaworsepunishmentthantobeanoblemanwithoutmeans。“ ThisanswermadeUrsulathoughtful;shedriedhertears,andsaid:—— “Ifyoucansavehim,savehim,godfather;thatservicewillgiveyouarighttoadvisehim;youcanremonstrate——“ “Yes,“saidthedoctor,imitatingher,“andthenhecancomehere,andtheoldladywillcomehere,andweshallseethem,and——“ “Iwasthinkingonlyofhim,“saidUrsula,blushing。 “Don’tthinkofhim,mychild;itwouldbefolly,“saidthedoctorgravely。“MadamedePortenduere,whowasaKergarouet,wouldneverconsent,evenifshehadtoliveonthreehundredfrancsayear,tothemarriageofherson,theVicomteSaviniendePortenduere,withwhom?——withUrsulaMirouet,daughterofabandsmaninaregiment,withoutmoney,andwhosefather——alas!Imustnowtellyouall——wasthebastardsonofanorganist,myfather-in-law。“ “Ogodfather!youareright;weareequalonlyinthesightofGod。I willnotthinkofhimagain——exceptinmyprayers,“shesaid,amidthesobswhichthispainfulrevelationexcited。“Givehimwhatyoumeanttogiveme——whatcanapoorgirllikemewant?——ah,inprison,he!——“ “OffertoGodyourdisappointments,andperhapshewillhelpus。“ Therewassilenceforsomeminutes。WhenUrsula,whoatfirstdidnotdaretolookathergodfather,raisedhereyes,herheartwasdeeplymovedtoseethetearswhichwererollingdownhiswitheredcheeks。 Thetearsofoldmenareasterribleasthoseofchildrenarenatural。 “Ohwhatisit?“criedUrsula,flingingherselfathisfeetandkissinghishands。“Areyounotsureofme?“ “I,wholongedtogratifyallyourwishes,itisIwhoamobligedtocausethefirstgreatsorrowofyourlife!“hesaid。“Isufferasmuchasyou。Ineverweptbefore,exceptwhenIlostmychildren——and,Ursula——Yes,“hecriedsuddenly,“Iwilldoallyoudesire!“ Ursulagavehim,throughhertearsalookthatwasvividaslightning。 Shesmiled。 “Letusgointothesalon,darling,“saidthedoctor。“Trytokeepthesecretofallthistoyourself,“headded,leavingheraloneforamomentinhisstudy。 Hefelthimselfsoweakbeforethatheavenlysmilethathefearedhemightsayawordofhopeandthusmisleadher。 MadamedePortenduerewasatthismomentalonewiththeabbeinherfrigidlittlesalononthegroundfloor,havingfinishedtherecitalofhertroublestothegoodpriest,heronlyfriend。Sheheldinherhandsomeletterswhichhehadjustreturnedtoherafterreadingthem;theselettershadbroughthertroublestoaclimax。Seatedonhersofabesideasquaretablecoveredwiththeremainsofadessert,theoldladywaslookingattheabbe,whosatontheothersideofthetable,doubledupinhisarmchairandstrokinghischinwiththegesturecommontovaletsonthestage,mathematicians,andpriests,——asignofprofoundmeditationonaproblemthatwasdifficulttosolve。 Thislittlesalon,lightedbytwowindowsonthestreetandfinishedwithawainscotpaintedgray,wassodampthatthelowerpanelsshowedthegeometricalcracksofrottenwoodwhenthepaintnolongerbindsit。Thered-tiledfloor,polishedbytheoldlady’soneservant,required,forcomfort’ssake,beforeeachseatsmallroundmatsofbrownstraw,ononeofwhichtheabbewasnowrestinghisfeet。Theolddamaskcurtainsoflightgreenwithgreenflowersweredrawn,andtheoutsideblindshadbeenclosed。Twowaxcandleslightedthetable,leavingtherestoftheroominsemi-obscurity。IsitnecessarytosaythatbetweenthetwowindowswasafinepastelbyLatourrepresentingthefamousAdmiraldePortenduere,therivaloftheSuffren,Guichen,KergarouetandSimeusenavalheroes?OnthepaneledwalloppositetothefireplacewereportraitsoftheVicomtedePortenduereandofthemotheroftheoldlady,aKergarouet-Ploegat。Savinien’sgreat-unclewasthereforetheVice-admiraldeKergarouet,andhiscousinwastheComtedePortenduere,grandsonoftheadmiral,——bothofthemveryrich。 TheVice-admiraldeKergarouetlivedinParisandtheComtedePortenduereatthechateauofthatnameinDauphine。Thecountrepresentedtheelderbranch,andSavinienwastheonlyscionoftheyounger。Thecount,whowasoverfortyyearsofageandmarriedtoarichwife,hadthreechildren。Hisfortune,increasedbyvariouslegacies,amounted,itwassaid,tosixtythousandfrancsayear。AsdeputyfromIserehepassedhiswintersinParis,wherehehadboughtthehoteldePortenduerewiththeindemnitiesheobtainedundertheVillelelaw。Thevice-admiralhadrecentlymarriedhisniecebymarriage,forthesolepurposeofsecuringhismoneytoher。 Thefaultsoftheyoungviscountwerethereforelikelytocosthimthefavoroftwopowerfulprotectors。IfSavinienhadenteredthenavy,youngandhandsomeashewas,withafamousname,andbackedbytheinfluenceofanadmiralandadeputy,hemight,attwenty-threeyearsofage,beenalieutenant;buthismother,unwillingthatheronlysonshouldgointoeithernavalormilitaryservice,hadkepthimatNemoursunderthetutelageofoneoftheAbbeChaperon’sassistants,hopingthatshecouldkeephimnearheruntilherdeath。Shemeanttomarryhimtoademoiselled’Aiglemontwithafortuneoftwelvethousandfrancsayear;towhosehandthenameofPortenduereandthefarmatBordieresenabledhimtopretend。Thisnarrowbutjudiciousplan,whichwouldhavecarriedthefamilytoasecondgeneration,wasalreadybalkedbyevents。Thed’Aiglemontswereruined,andoneofthedaughters,Helene,haddisappeared,andthemysteryofherdisappearancewasneversolved。 Thewearinessofalifewithoutatmosphere,withoutprospects,withoutaction,withoutothernourishmentthantheloveofasonforhismother,soworkeduponSavinienthathebursthischains,gentleastheywere,andsworethathewouldneverliveintheprovinces—— comprehending,ratherlate,thathisfuturefatewasnottobeintheRuedesBourgeois。Attwenty-oneyearsofagehelefthismother’shousetomakeacquaintancewithhisrelations,andtryhisluckinParis。ThecontrastbetweenlifeinParisandlifeinNemourswaslikelytobefataltoayoungmanoftwenty-one,free,withnoonetosayhimnay,naturallyeagerforpleasure,andforwhomhisnameandhisconnectionsopenedthedoorsofallthesalons。Quiteconvincedthathismotherhadthesavingsofmanyyearsinherstrong-box,SaviniensoonspentthesixthousandfrancswhichshehadgivenhimtoseeParis。Thatsumdidnotdefrayhisexpensesforsixmonths,andhesoonoweddoublethatsumtohishotel,histailor,hisbootmaker,tothemanfromwhomhehiredhiscarriagesandhorses,toajeweler,—— inshort,toallthosetradersandshopkeeperswhocontributetotheluxuryofyoungmen。 Hehadonlyjustsucceededinmakinghimselfknown,andhadscarcelylearnedhowtoconverse,howtopresenthimselfinasalon,howtowearhiswaistcoatsandchoosethemandtoorderhiscoatsandtiehiscravat,beforehefoundhimselfindebtforoverthirtythousandfrancs,whilestillseekingtherightphrasesinwhichtodeclarehisloveforthesisteroftheMarquisdeRonquerolles,theelegantMadamedeSerizy,whoseyouthhadbeenatitsclimaxduringtheEmpire。 “Howisthatyouallmanage?“askedSavinienoneday,attheendofagaybreakfastwithaknotofyoungdandies,withwhomhewasintimateastheyoungmenofthepresentdayareintimatewitheachother,allaimingforthesamethingandallclaiminganimpossibleequality。 “YouwerenoricherthanIandyetyougetalongwithoutanxiety;youcontrivetomaintainyourselves,whileasformeImakenothingbutdebts。“ “Weallbeganthatway,“answeredRastignac,laughing,andthelaughwasechoedbyLuciendeRubempre,MaximedeTrailles,EmileBlondet,andothersofthefashionableyoungmenoftheday。