第36章

类别:其他 作者:Anonymous字数:4009更新时间:18/12/27 09:03:05
“OfmydearSavinien,“criedthegirl,burstingintotears。“Yes,mygoodfriend,“shesaid,sobbing,“avoicetellsmeheisasnobleinheartasheisinrace。Hehasnotonlytoldmethathelovesmealone,buthehasproveditinahundreddelicateways,andbyrestrainingheroicallyhisardentfeelings。LatelywhenhetookthehandIheldouttohim,thateveningwhenMonsieurBongrandproposedtomeahusband,itwasthefirsttime,Isweartoyou,thatIhadevergivenit。Hebeganwithajestwhenheblewmeakissacrossthestreet,butsincethenouraffectionhasneveroutwardlypassed,asyouwellknow,thenarrowestlimits。ButIwilltellyou,——youwhoreadmysoulexceptinthisoneregionwherenonebuttheangelssee,——well,Iwilltellyou,thislovehasbeeninmethesecretspringofmanyseemingmerits;itmademeacceptmypoverty;itsoftenedthebitternessofmyirreparableloss,formymourningismoreperhapsinmyclothesnowthaninmyheart——Oh,wasIwrong?canitbethatlovewasstrongerinmethanmygratitudetomybenefactor,andGodhaspunishedmeforit?Buthowcoulditbeotherwise?IrespectedinmyselfSavinien’sfuturewife;yes,perhapsIwastooproud,perhapsitisthatpridewhichGodhashumbled。Godalone,asyouhaveoftentoldme,shouldbetheendandobjectofallouractions。“ Theabbewasdeeplytouchedashewatchedthetearsrolldownherpallidface。Thehigherhersenseofsecurityhadbeen,thelowershewasnowtofall。 “But,“shesaid,continuing,“ifIreturntomyorphanedcondition,I shallknowhowtotakeupitsfeelings。Afterall,couldIhavetiedamill-stoneroundtheneckofhimIlove?Whatcanhedohere?WhoamI tobindhimtome?Besides,doInotlovehimwithafriendshipsodivinethatIcanbearthelossofmyownhappinessandmyhopes?YouknowIhaveoftenblamedmyselfforlettingmyhopesrestuponagrave,andforknowingtheywerewaitingonthatpooroldlady’sdeath。IfSavinienisrichandhappywithanotherIhaveenoughtopayformyentrancetoaconvent,whereIshallgoatonce。Therecannomorebetwolovesinawoman’sheartthantherecanbetwomastersinheaven,andthelifeofareligiousisattractivetome。“ “HecouldnotlethismothergoalonetoRouvre,“saidtheabbe,gently。 “Donotletustalkofthat,mydeargoodfriend,“sheanswered。“I willwriteto-nightandsethimfree。Iamgladtohavetoclosethewindowsofthisroom,“shecontinued,tellingheroldfriendoftheanonymousletters,butdeclaringthatshewouldnotallowanyinquiriestobemadeastowhoherunknownlovermightbe。 “Why!itwasananonymousletterthatfirsttookMadamedePortendueretoRouvre,“criedtheabbe。“Youareannoyedforsomeobjectbyevilpersons。“ “Howcanthatbe?NeitherSaviniennorIhaveinjuredanyone;andI amnolongeranobstacletotheprosperityofothers。“ “Well,well,mychild,“saidtheabbe,quietly,“letusprofitbythistempest,whichhasscatteredourlittlecircle,toputthelibraryinorder。Thebooksarestillinheaps。BongrandandIwanttogettheminorder;wewishtomakeasearchamongthem。PutyourtrustinGod,andrememberalsothatinourgoodBongrandandinmeyouhavetwodevotedfriends。“ “Thatismuch,verymuch,“shesaid,goingwithhimtothethresholdofthedoor,whereshestretchedouthernecklikeabirdlookingoveritsnest,hopingagainsthopetoseeSavinien。 JustthenMinoretandGoupil,returningfromawalkinthemeadows,stoppedastheypassed,andthecolossusspoketoUrsula。 “Isanythingthematter,cousin;forwearestillcousins,arewenot? Youseemchanged。“ GoupillookedsoardentlyatUrsulathatshewasfrightened,andwentbackintothehousewithoutreplying。 “Sheiscross,“saidMinorettotheabbe。 “MademoiselleMirouetisquiterightnottotalktomenonthethresholdofherdoor,“saidtheabbe;“sheistooyoung——“ “Oh!“saidGoupil。“Iamtoldshedoesn’tlacklovers。“ TheabbebowedhurriedlyandwentasfastashecouldtotheRuedesBourgeois。 “Well,“saidGoupiltoMinoret,“thethingisworking。Didyounoticehowpaleshewas。Withinafortnightshe’llhaveleftthetown——you’llsee。“ “Betterhaveyouforafriendthananenemy,“criedMinoret,frightenedattheatrociousgrinwhichgavetoGoupil’sfacethediabolicalexpressionoftheMephistophelesofJosephBrideau。 “Ishouldthinkso!“returnedGoupil。“Ifshedoesn’tmarrymeI’llmakeherdieofgrief。“ “Doit,myboy,andI’llGIVEyouthemoneytobuyapracticeinParis。Youcanthenmarryarichwoman——“ “PoorUrsula!whatmakesyousobitteragainsther?whathasshedonetoyou?“askedtheclerkinsurprise。 “Sheannoysme,“saidMinoret,gruffly。 “Well,waittillMondayandyoushallseehowI’llraspher,“saidGoupil,studyingtheexpressionofthelatepostmaster’sface。 ThenextdayLaBougivalcarriedthefollowinglettertoSavinien。 “Idon’tknowwhatthedearchildhaswrittentoyou,“shesaid,“butsheisalmostdeadthismorning。“ Who,readingthislettertoherlover,couldfailtounderstandthesufferingsthepoorgirlhadgonethroughduringthenight。 MydearSavinien,——YourmotherwishesyoutomarryMademoiselleduRouvre,andperhapssheisright。Youareplacedbetweenalifethatisalmostpoverty-strickenandalifeofopulence;betweenthebetrothedofyourheartandawifeinconformitywiththedemandsoftheworld;betweenobediencetoyourmotherandthefulfilmentofyourownchoice——forIstillbelievethatyouhavechosenme。Savinien,ifyouhavenowtomakeyourdecisionIwishyoutodosoinabsolutefreedom;Igiveyoubackthepromiseyoumadetoyourself——nottome——inamomentwhichcanneverfadefrommymemory,foritwas,likeotherdaysthathavesucceededit,ofangelicpurityandsweetness。Thatmemorywillsufficemeformylife。Ifyoushouldpersistinyourpledgetome,adarkandterribleideawouldhenceforthtroublemyhappiness。Inthemidstofourprivations——whichwehavehithertoacceptedsogayly——youmightreflect,toolate,thatlifewouldhavebeentoyouabetterthinghadyounowconformedtothelawsoftheworld。Ifyouwereamantoexpressthatthought,itwouldbetomethesentenceofanagonizingdeath;ifyoudidnotexpressit,Ishouldwatchsuspiciouslyeveryclouduponyourbrow。 DearSavinien,Ihavepreferredyoutoallelseonearth。Iwasrighttodoso,formygodfather,thoughjealousofyou,usedtosaytome,“Lovehim,mychild;youwillcertainlybelongtoeachotheroneofthesedays。“WhenIwenttoParisIlovedyouhopelessly,andthefeelingcontentedme。IdonotknowifIcannowreturntoit,butIshalltry。Whatarewe,afterall,atthismoment?Brotherandsister。Letusstayso。Marrythathappygirlwhocanhavethejoyofgivingtoyournamethelustreitoughttohave,andwhichyourmotherthinksIshoulddiminish。Youwillnothearofmeagain。Theworldwillapproveofyou;Ishallneverblameyou——butIshallloveyouever。Adieu,then! “Wait,“criedtheyoungman。SigningtoLaBougivaltositdown,hescratchedoffhastilythefollowingreply:—— MydearUrsula,——Yourlettercutsmetotheheart,inasmuchasyouhaveneedlesslyfeltsuchpain;andalsobecauseourhearts,forthefirsttime,havefailedtounderstandeachother。Ifyouarenotmywifenow,itissolelybecauseIcannotmarrywithoutmymother’sconsent。Dear,eightthousandfrancsayearandaprettycottageontheLoing,why,that’safortune,isitnot?YouknowwecalculatedthatifwekeptLaBougivalwecouldlaybyhalfourincomeeveryyear。Youallowedmethatevening,inyouruncle’sgarden,toconsideryoumine;youcannotnowofyourselfbreakthosetieswhicharecommontobothofus——Ursula,needItellyouthatIyesterdayinformedMonsieurduRouvrethatevenifI werefreeIcouldnotreceiveafortunefromayoungpersonwhomI didnotknow?Mymotherrefusestoseeyouagain;Imustthereforelosethehappinessofourevenings;butsurelyyouwillnotdeprivemeofthebriefmomentsIcanspendatyourwindow?Thisevening,then——Nothingcanseparateus。 “Takethistoher,myoldwoman;shemustnotbeunhappyonemomentlonger。“ Thatafternoonatfouro’clock,returningfromthewalkwhichhealwaystookexpresslytopassbeforeUrsula’shouse,Savinienfoundhismistresswaitingforhim,herfacealittlepallidfromthesesuddenchangesandexcitements。 “ItseemstomethatuntilnowIhaveneverknownwhatthepleasureofseeingyouis,“shesaidtohim。 “Youoncesaidtome,“repliedSavinien,smiling,——“forIrememberallyourwords,——’Lovelivesbypatience;wewillwait!’Dear,youhaveseparatedlovefromfaith。Ah!thisshallbetheendofourquarrels; wewillneverhaveanother。YouhaveclaimedtolovemebetterthanI loveyou,but——didIeverdoubtyou?“hesaid,offeringherabouquetofwild-flowersarrangedtoexpresshisthoughts。 “Youhaveneverhadanyreasontodoubtme,“shereplied;“and,besides,youdon’tknowall,“sheadded,inatroubledvoice。 Ursulahadrefusedtoreceivelettersbythepost。Butthatafternoon,withoutbeingableeventoguessatthenatureofthetrick,shehadfound,afewmomentsbeforeSavinien’sarrival,alettertossedonhersofawhichcontainedthewords:“Tremble!arejectedlovercanbecomeatiger。“