第16章

“’HaveyouneverheardoftheLeagueoftheRed-headedMen？’heasked，withhiseyesopen。 “’Never。’ “’Why，Iwonderatthat，foryouareeligibleyourselfforoneofthevacancies。’ “’Andwhataretheyworth？’Iasked。 “’Oh，merelyacoupleofhundredayear，buttheworkisslight，anditneednotinterfereverymuchwithone’sotheroccupations。’ “Well，youcaneasilythinkthatthatmademeprickupmyears，forthebusinesshasnotbeenovergoodforsomeyears，andanextracoupleofhundredwouldhavebeenveryhandy。 “’Tellmeallaboutit，’saidI。 “’Well，’saidhe，showingmetheadvertisement，’youcanseeforyourselfthattheLeaguehasavacancy，andthereistheaddresswhereyoushouldapplyforparticulars。AsfarasIcanmakeout，theLeaguewasfoundedbyanAmericanmillionaire，EzekiahHopkins，whowasverypeculiarinhisways。Hewashimselfred-headed，andhehadagreatsympathyforallred-headedmen；so，whenhedied，itwasfoundthathehadlefthisenormousfortuneinthehandsoftrustees，withinstructionstoapplytheinteresttotheprovidingofeasyberthstomenwhosehairisofthatcolor。FromallIhearitissplendidpay，andverylittletodo。’ “’But，’saidI，’therewouldbemillionsofred-headedmenwhowouldapply。’ “’Notsomanyasyoumightthink，’heanswered。’YouseeitisreallyconfinedtoLondoners，andtogrownmen。ThisAmericanhadstartedfromLondonwhenhewasyoung，andhewantedtodotheoldtownagoodturn。Then，again，Ihavehearditisofnouseyourapplyingifyourhairislightred，ordarkred，oranythingbutreal，bright，blazing，fieryred。Now，ifyoucaredtoapply，Mr。 Wilson，youwouldjustwalkin；butperhapsitwouldhardlybeworthyourwhiletoputyourselfoutofthewayforthesakeofafewhundredpounds。’ “Nowitisafact，gentlemen，asyoumayseeforyourselves，thatmyhairisofaveryfullandrichtint，sothatitseemedtomethat，iftherewastobeanycompetitioninthematter，IstoodasgoodachanceasanymanthatIhadevermet。VincentSpauldingseemedtoknowsomuchaboutitthatIthoughthemightproveuseful，soIjustorderedhimtoputuptheshuttersfortheday，andtocomerightawaywithme。Hewasverywillingtohaveaholiday，soweshutthebusinessup，andstartedofffortheaddressthatwasgivenusintheadvertisement。 “Ineverhopetoseesuchasightasthatagain，Mr。Holmes。Fromnorth，south，east，andwesteverymanwhohadashadeofredinhishairhadtrampedintotheCitytoanswertheadvertisement。 FleetStreetwaschokedwithred-headedfolk，andPope’sCourtlookedlikeacoster’sorangebarrow。Ishouldnothavethoughtthereweresomanyinthewholecountryaswerebroughttogetherbythatsingleadvertisement。Everyshadeofcolortheywere——straw，lemon，orange，brick，Irishsetter，liver，clay；but，asSpauldingsaid，therewerenotmanywhohadtherealvividflame-coloredtint。WhenIsawhowmanywerewaiting，Iwouldhavegivenitupindespair；butSpauldingwouldnothearofit。HowhediditI couldnotimagine，buthepushedandpulledandbutteduntilhegotmethroughthecrowd，andrightuptothestepswhichledtotheoffice。Therewasadoublestreamuponthestair，somegoingupinhope，andsomecomingbackdejected；butwewedgedinaswellaswecould，andsoonfoundourselvesintheoffice。“ “Yourexperiencehasbeenamostentertainingone，“remarkedHolmes，ashisclientpausedandrefreshedhismemorywithahugepinchofsnuff。“Praycontinueyourveryinterestingstatement。“ “Therewasnothingintheofficebutacoupleofwoodenchairsandadealtable，behindwhichsatasmallman，withaheadthatwasevenredderthanmine。Hesaidafewwordstoeachcandidateashecameup，andthenhealwaysmanagedtofindsomefaultinthemwhichwoulddisqualifythem。Gettingavacancydidnotseemtobesuchaveryeasymatterafterall。However，whenourturncame，thelittlemanwasmuchmorefavorabletomethantoanyoftheothers，andheclosedthedoorasweentered，sothathemighthaveaprivatewordwithus。 “’ThisisMr。JabezWilson，’saidmyassistant，’andheiswillingtofillavacancyintheLeague。’ “’Andheisadmirablysuitedforit，’theotheranswered。’Hehaseveryrequirement。IcannotrecallwhenIhaveseenanythingsofine。’Hetookastepbackward，cockedhisheadononeside，andgazedatmyhairuntilIfeltquitebashful。Thensuddenlyheplungedforward，wrungmyhand，andcongratulatedmewarmlyonmysuccess。 “’Itwouldbeinjusticetohesitate，’saidhe。’Youwill，however，Iamsure，excusemefortakinganobviousprecaution。’Withthatheseizedmyhairinbothhishands，andtuggeduntilIyelledwiththepain。’Thereiswaterinyoureyes，’saidhe，ashereleasedme。’Iperceivethatallisasitshouldbe。Butwehavetobecareful，forwehavetwicebeendeceivedbywigsandoncebypaint。 Icouldtellyoutalesofcobbler’swaxwhichwoulddisgustyouwithhumannature。’Hesteppedovertothewindowandshoutedthroughitatthetopofhisvoicethatthevacancywasfilled。A groanofdisappointmentcameupfrombelow，andthefolkalltroopedawayindifferentdirections，untiltherewasnotaredheadtobeseenexceptmyownandthatofthemanager。 “’Myname，’saidhe，’isMr。DuncanRoss，andIammyselfoneofthepensionersuponthefundleftbyournoblebenefactor。Areyouamarriedman，Mr。Wilson？Haveyouafamily？’ “IansweredthatIhadnot。 “Hisfacefellimmediately。 “’Dearme！’hesaid，gravely，’thatisveryseriousindeed！Iamsorrytohearyousaythat。Thefundwas，ofcourse，forthepropagationandspreadoftheredheadsaswellasfortheirmaintenance。Itisexceedinglyunfortunatethatyoushouldbeabachelor。’ “Myfacelengthenedatthis，Mr。Holmes，forIthoughtthatIwasnottohavethevacancyafterall；but，afterthinkingitoverforafewminutes，hesaidthatitwouldbeallright。 “’Inthecaseofanother，’saidhe，’theobjectionmightbefatal，butwemuststretchapointinfavorofamanwithsuchaheadofhairasyours。Whenshallyoubeabletoenteruponyournewduties？’ “’Well，itisalittleawkward，forIhaveabusinessalready，’ saidI。 “’Oh，nevermindaboutthat，Mr。Wilson！’saidVincentSpaulding。 ’Ishallbeabletolookafterthatforyou。’ “’Whatwouldbethehours？’Iasked。 “’Tentotwo。’ “Nowapawnbroker’sbusinessismostlydoneofanevening，Mr。 Holmes，especiallyThursdayandFridayevenings，whichisjustbeforepayday；soitwouldsuitmeverywelltoearnalittleinthemornings。Besides，Iknewthatmyassistantwasagoodman，andthathewouldseetoanythingthatturnedup。 “’Thatwouldsuitmeverywell，’saidI。’Andthepay？’ “’Isfourpoundsaweek。’ “’Andthework？’ “’Ispurelynominal。’ “’Whatdoyoucallpurelynominal？’ “’Well，youhavetobeintheoffice，oratleastinthebuilding，thewholetime。Ifyouleave，youforfeityourwholepositionforever。Thewillisveryclearuponthatpoint。Youdon’tcomplywiththeconditionsifyoubudgefromtheofficeduringthattime。’ “’It’sonlyfourhoursaday，andIshouldnotthinkofleaving，’ saidI。 “’Noexcusewillavail，’saidMr。DuncanRoss，’neithersickness，norbusiness，noranythingelse。Thereyoumuststay，oryouloseyourbillet。’ “’Andthework？’ “’Istocopyoutthe“EncyclopaediaBritannica。“Thereisthefirstvolumeofitinthatpress。Youmustfindyourownink，pens，andblottingpaper，butweprovidethistableandchair。 Willyoubereadyto-morrow？’ “’Certainly，’Ianswered。 “’Then，good-by，Mr。JabezWilson，andletmecongratulateyouoncemoreontheimportantpositionwhichyouhavebeenfortunateenoughtogain。’Hebowedmeoutoftheroom，andIwenthomewithmyassistanthardlyknowingwhattosayordo，Iwassopleasedatmyowngoodfortune。 “Well，Ithoughtoverthematterallday，andbyeveningIwasinlowspiritsagain；forIhadquitepersuadedmyselfthatthewholeaffairmustbesomegreathoaxorfraud，thoughwhatitsobjectmightbeIcouldnotimagine。Itseemedaltogetherpastbeliefthatanyonecouldmakesuchawill，orthattheywouldpaysuchasumfordoinganythingsosimpleascopyingoutthe’EncyclopaediaBritannica。’VincentSpauldingdidwhathecouldtocheermeup，butbybedtimeIhadreasonedmyselfoutofthewholething。 However，inthemorningIdeterminedtohavealookatitanyhow，soIboughtapennybottleofink，andwithaquillpenandsevensheetsoffoolscappaperIstartedoffforPope’sCourt。 “Well，tomysurpriseanddelighteverythingwasasrightaspossible。Thetablewassetoutreadyforme，andMr。DuncanRosswastheretoseethatIgotfairlytowork。HestartedmeoffupontheletterA，andthenheleftme；buthewoulddropinfromtimetotimetoseethatallwasrightwithme。Attwoo’clockhebademegood-day，complimentedmeupontheamountthatIhadwritten，andlockedthedooroftheofficeafterme。 “Thiswentondayafterday，Mr。Holmes，andonSaturdaythemanagercameinandplankeddownfourgoldensovereignsformyweek’swork。Itwasthesamenextweek，andthesametheweekafter。EverymorningIwasthereatten，andeveryafternoonI leftattwo。BydegreesMr。DuncanRosstooktocominginonlyonceofamorning，andthen，afteratime，hedidnotcomeinatall。Still，ofcourse。Ineverdaredtoleavetheroomforaninstant，forIwasnotsurewhenhemightcome，andthebilletwassuchagoodone，andsuitedmesowell，thatIwouldnotriskthelossofit。 “Eightweekspassedawaylikethis，andIhadwrittenaboutAbbots，andArchery，andArmor，andArchitecture，andAttica，andhopedwithdiligencethatImightgetontotheBsbeforeverylong。Itcostmesomethinginfoolscap，andIhadprettynearlyfilledashelfwithmywritings。Andthensuddenlythewholebusinesscametoanend。“ “Toanend？“ “Yes，sir。Andnolaterthanthismorning。Iwenttomyworkasusualatteno’clock，butthedoorwasshutandlocked，withalittlesquareofcardboardhammeredontothemiddleofthepanelwithatack。Hereitis，andyoucanreadforyourself。“ Heheldupapieceofwhitecardboard，aboutthesizeofasheetofnotepaper。Itreadinthisfashion: “THERED-HEADEDLEAGUEISDISSOLVED。 Oct。9，1890。“ SherlockHolmesandIsurveyedthiscurtannouncementandtheruefulfacebehindit，untilthecomicalsideoftheaffairsocompletelyovertoppedeveryconsiderationthatwebothburstoutintoaroaroflaughter。 “Icannotseethatthereisanythingveryfunny，“criedourclient，flushinguptotherootsofhisflaminghead。“Ifyoucandonothingbetterthanlaughatme，Icangoelsewhere。“ “No，no，“criedHolmes，shovinghimbackintothechairfromwhichhehadhalfrisen。“Ireallywouldn’tmissyourcasefortheworld。Itismostrefreshinglyunusual。Butthereis，ifyouwillexcusemysayingso，somethingjustalittlefunnyaboutit。Praywhatstepsdidyoutakewhenyoufoundthecarduponthedoor？“ “Iwasstaggered，sir。Ididnotknowwhattodo。ThenIcalledattheofficesround，butnoneofthemseemedtoknowanythingaboutit。Finally，Iwenttothelandlord，whoisanaccountantlivingonthegroundfloor，andIaskedhimifhecouldtellmewhathadbecomeoftheRed-headedLeague。Hesaidthathehadneverheardofanysuchbody。ThenIaskedhimwhoMr。DuncanRosswas。Heansweredthatthenamewasnewtohim。