第37章

Mymothercameoutalonetowelcomemeback。Therewerenosecretsbetweenustwo。Itoldherallthathadhappened，justasIhavetoldittoyou。ShekeptsilencetillIhaddone。Andthensheputaquestiontome。 “Whattimewasit，Francis，whenyousawtheWomaninyourDream？“ IhadlookedattheclockwhenIlefttheinn，andIhadnoticedthatthehandspointedtotwentyminutespasttwo。Allowingforthetimeconsumedinspeakingtothelandlord，andingettingonmyclothes，IansweredthatImusthavefirstseentheWomanattwoo’clockinthemorning。Inotherwords，Ihadnotonlyseenheronmybirthday，butatthehourofmybirth。 Mymotherstillkeptsilence。Lostinherownthoughts，shetookmebythehand，andledmeintotheparlor。Herwriting-deskwasonthetablebythefireplace。Sheopenedit，andsignedtometotakeachairbyherside。 “Myson！yourmemoryisabadone，andmineisfastfailingme。 TellmeagainwhattheWomanlookedlike。Iwanthertobeaswellknowntobothofus，yearshence，assheisnow。“ Iobeyed；wonderingwhatstrangefancymightbeworkinginhermind。Ispoke；andshewrotethewordsastheyfellfrommylips: “Lightgrayeyes，withadroopinthelefteyelid。Flaxenhair，withagolden-yellowstreakinit。Whitearms，withadownuponthem。Little，lady’shands，witharosy-redlookaboutthefingernails。“ “Didyounoticehowshewasdressed，Francis？“ “No，mother。“ “Didyounoticetheknife？“ “Yes。Alargeclaspknife，withabuckhornhandle，asgoodasnew。“ Mymotheraddedthedescriptionoftheknife。Alsotheyear，month，dayoftheweek，andhourofthedaywhentheDream-Womanappearedtomeattheinn。Thatdone，shelockedupthepaperinherdesk。 “Notaword，Francis，toyouraunt。Notawordtoanylivingsoul。 KeepyourDreamasecretbetweenyouandme。“ Theweekspassed，andthemonthspassed。Mymotherneverreturnedtothesubjectagain。Asforme，time，whichwearsoutallthings，woreoutmyremembranceoftheDream。Littlebylittle，theimageoftheWomangrewdimmeranddimmer。Littlebylittle，shefadedoutofmymind。 VII Thestoryofthewarningisnowtold。Judgeforyourselfifitwasatruewarningorafalse，whenyouhearwhathappenedtomeonmynextbirthday。 IntheSummertimeoftheyear，theWheelofFortuneturnedtherightwayformeatlast。Iwassmokingmypipeoneday，nearanoldstonequarryattheentrancetoourvillage，whenacarriageaccidenthappened，whichgaveanewturn，asitwere，tomylotinlife。Itwasanaccidentofthecommonestkind——notworthmentioningatanylength。Aladydrivingherself；arunawayhorse； acowardlyman-servantinattendance，frightenedoutofhiswits； andthestonequarrytooneartobeagreeable——thatiswhatIsaw，allinafewmoments，betweentwowhiffsofmypipe。Istoppedthehorseattheedgeofthequarry，andgotmyselfalittlehurtbytheshaftofthechaise。Butthatdidn’tmatter。TheladydeclaredIhadsavedherlife；andherhusband，comingwithhertoourcottagethenextday，tookmeintohisservicethenandthere。 Theladyhappenedtobeofadarkcomplexion；anditmayamuseyoutohearthatmyauntChanceinstantlypitchedonthatcircumstanceasameansofsavingthecreditofthecards。HerewasthepromiseoftheQueenofSpadesperformedtotheveryletter，bymeansof“adarkwoman，“justasmyaunthadtoldme。“Inthetimetocome，Francis，bewareo’pettin’yerainblindedintairpretationonthecairds。Ye’reowerready，Itrow，tomurmurunderdispensationofProavidencethatyecannafathom——liketheEesraelitesofauld。 I’llsaynaemairtoye。Mebbewhenthemony’spoweringintoyerpoakets，ye’llnoforgetyerauntChance，leftlikeasparrowonthehousetop，wiasma’annuiteeo’thrattypundsayear。“ Iremainedinmysituation(attheWest-endofLondon)untiltheSpringoftheNewYear。Aboutthattime，mymaster’shealthfailed。Thedoctorsorderedhimawaytoforeignparts，andtheestablishmentwasbrokenup。Buttheturninmyluckstillheldgood。WhenIleftmyplace，Ileftit——thankstothegenerosityofmykindmaster——withayearlyallowancegrantedtome，inremembranceofthedaywhenIhadsavedmymistress’slife。Forthefuture，Icouldgobacktoserviceornot，asIpleased；mylittleincomewasenoughtosupportmymotherandmyself。 MymasterandmistressleftEnglandtowardtheendofFebruary。 CertainmattersofbusinesstodoforthemdetainedmeinLondonuntilthelastdayofthemonth。Iwasonlyabletoleaveforourvillagebytheeveningtrain，tokeepmybirthdaywithmymotherasusual。ItwasbedtimewhenIgottothecottage；andIwassorrytofindthatshewasfarfromwell。Tomakemattersworse，shehadfinishedherbottleofmedicineonthepreviousday，andhadomittedtogetitreplenished，asthedoctorhadstrictlydirected。 Hedispensedhisownmedicines，andIofferedtogoandknockhimup。Sherefusedtoletmedothis；and，aftergivingmemysupper，sentmeawaytomybed。 Ifellasleepforalittle，andwokeagain。Mymother’sbed- chamberwasnexttomine。IheardmyauntChance’sheavyfootstepsgoingtoandfrointheroom，and，suspectingsomethingwrong，knockedatthedoor。Mymother’spainshadreturneduponher； therewasaseriousnecessityforrelievinghersufferingsasspeedilyaspossible，Iputonmyclothes，andranoff，withthemedicinebottleinmyhand，totheotherendofthevillage，wherethedoctorlived。ThechurchclockchimedthequartertotwoonmybirthdayjustasIreachedhishouse。Oneringofthenightbellbroughthimtohisbedroomwindowtospeaktome。Hetoldmetowait，andhewouldletmeinatthesurgerydoor。Inoticed，whileIwaswaiting，thatthenightwaswonderfullyfairandwarmforthetimeofyear。Theoldstonequarrywherethecarriageaccidenthadhappenedwaswithinview。Themoonintheclearheavenslititupalmostasbrightasday。 Inaminuteortwothedoctorletmeintothesurgery。Iclosedthedoor，noticingthathehadlefthisroomverylightlyclad。Hekindlypardonedmymother’sneglectofhisdirections，andsettoworkatonceatcompoundingthemedicine。Wewerebothintentonthebottle；hefillingit，andIholdingthelight——whenweheardthesurgerydoorsuddenlyopenedfromthestreet。 VIII Whocouldpossiblybeupandaboutinourquietvillageatthesecondhourofthemorning？ Thepersonwhoopenedthedoorappearedwithinrangeofthelightofthecandle。Tocompleteouramazement，thepersonprovedtobeawoman！Shewalkeduptothecounter，andstandingsidebysidewithme，liftedherveil。Atthemomentwhensheshowedherface，Iheardthechurchclockstriketwo。Shewasastrangertome，andastrangertothedoctor。Shewasalso，beyondallcomparison，themostbeautifulwomanIhaveeverseeninmylife。 “Isawthelightunderthedoor，“shesaid。“Iwantsomemedicine。“ Shespokequitecomposedly，asiftherewasnothingatallextraordinaryinherbeingoutinthevillageattwointhemorning，andfollowingmeintothesurgerytoaskformedicine！ Thedoctorstaredatherasifhesuspectedhisowneyesofdeceivinghim。“Whoareyou？“beasked。“Howdoyoucometobewanderingaboutatthistimeinthemorning？“ Shepaidnoheedtohisquestions。Sheonlytoldhimcoollywhatshewanted。“Ihavegotabadtoothache。Iwantabottleoflaudanum。“ Thedoctorrecoveredhimselfwhensheaskedforthelaudanum。Hewasonhisownground，youknow，whenitcametoamatteroflaudanum；andhespoketohersmartlyenoughthistime。 “Oh，youhavegotthetoothache，haveyou？Letmelookatthetooth。“ Sheshookherbead，andlaidatwo-shillingpieceonthecounter。 “Iwon’ttroubleyoutolookatthetooth，“shesaid。“Thereisthemoney。Letmehavethelaudanum，ifyouplease。“ Thedoctorputthetwo-shillingpiecebackagaininherhand。“I don’tselllaudanumtostrangers，“heanswered。“Ifyouareinanydistressofbodyormind，thatisanothermatter。Ishallbegladtohelpyou。“ Sheputthemoneybackinherpocket。“YOUcan’thelpme，“shesaid，asquietlyasever。“Goodmorning。“ Withthat，sheopenedthesurgerydoortogooutagainintothestreet。Sofar，Ihadnotspokenawordonmyside。Ihadstoodwiththecandleinmyhand(notknowingIwasholdingit)——withmyeyesfixedonher，withmymindfixedonherlikeamanbewitched。 Herlooksbetrayed，evenmoreplainlythanherwords，herresolution，inonewayoranother，todestroyherself。Whensheopenedthedoor，inmyalarmatwhatmighthappenIfoundtheuseofmytongue。 “Stop！“Icriedout。“Waitforme。Iwanttospeaktoyoubeforeyougoaway。“Sheliftedhereyeswithalookofcarelesssurpriseandamockingsmileonherlips。 “WhatcanYOUhavetosaytome？“Shestopped，andlaughedtoherself。“Whynot？“shesaid。“Ihavegotnothingtodo，andnowheretogo。“Sheturnedbackastep，andnoddedtome。“You’reastrangeman——IthinkI’llhumoryou——I’llwaitoutside。“Thedoorofthesurgeryclosedonher。Shewasgone。 Iamashamedtoownwhathappenednext。TheonlyexcuseformeisthatIwasreallyandtrulyamanbewitched。Iturnedmeroundtofollowherout，withoutoncethinkingofmymother。Thedoctorstoppedme。 “Don’tforgetthemedicine，“hesaid。“Andifyouwilltakemyadvice，don’ttroubleyourselfaboutthatwoman。Rouseuptheconstable。It’shisbusinesstolookafterher——notyours。“ Iheldoutmyhandforthemedicineinsilence:IwasafraidI shouldfailinrespectifItrustedmyselftoanswerhim。Hemusthaveseen，asIsaw，thatshewantedthelaudanumtopoisonherself。Hehad，tomymind，takenaveryheartlessviewofthematter。Ijustthankedhimwhenhegavemethemedicine——andwentout。 Shewaswaitingformeasshehadpromised；walkingslowlytoandfro——atall，graceful，solitaryfigureinthebrightmoonbeams。 Theyshedoverherfaircomplexion，herbrightgoldenhair，herlargegrayeyes，justthelightthatsuitedthembest。Shelookedhardlymortalwhenshefirstturnedtospeaktome。 “Well？“shesaid。“Andwhatdoyouwant？“ Inspiteofmypride，ormyshyness，ormybettersense——whicheveritmightbe——allmyheartwentouttoherinamoment。Icaughtholdofherbythehands，andownedwhatwasinmythoughts，asfreelyasifIhadknownherforhalfalifetime。 “Youmeantodestroyyourself，“Isaid。“AndImeantopreventyoufromdoingit。IfIfollowyouaboutallnight，I’llpreventyoufromdoingit。“ Shelaughed。“Yousawyourselfthathewouldn’tsellmethelaudanum。DoyoureallycarewhetherIliveordie？“Shesqueezedmyhandsgentlyassheputthequestion:hereyessearchedminewithalanguid，lingeringlookinthemthatranthroughmelikefire。Myvoicediedawayonmylips；Icouldn’tanswerher。 Sheunderstood，withoutmyanswering。“Youhavegivenmeafancyforliving，byspeakingkindlytome，“shesaid。“Kindnesshasawonderfuleffectonwomen，anddogs，andotherdomesticanimals。 Itisonlymenwhoaresuperiortokindness。Makeyourmindeasy—— IpromisetotakeasmuchcareofmyselfasifIwasthehappiestwomanliving！Don’tletmekeepyouhere，outofyourbed。Whichwayareyougoing？“ MiserablewretchthatIwas，Ihadforgottenmymother——withthemedicineinmyhand！“Iamgoinghome，“Isaid。“Whereareyoustaying？Attheinn？“ Shelaughedherbitterlaugh，andpointedtothestonequarry。 “ThereisMYinnforto-night，“shesaid。“WhenIgottiredofwalkingabout，Irestedthere。“ Wewalkedontogether，onmywayhome。Itookthelibertyofaskingherifshehadanyfriends。 “IthoughtIhadonefriendleft，“shesaid，“oryouwouldneverhavemetmeinthisplace。ItturnsoutIwaswrong。Myfriend’sdoorwasclosedinmyfacesomehourssince；myfriend’sservantsthreatenedmewiththepolice。Ihadnowhereelsetogo，aftertryingmyluckinyourneighborhood；andnothingleftbutmytwo-