第39章

Ididallamancoulddotoreclaimher。Quiteuseless！ShehadneverreallyreturnedtheloveIfeltforher:Ihadnoinfluence； Icoulddonothing。Mymother，hearingofthislastworsetrouble，resolvedtotrywhatherinfluencecoulddo。Illasshewas，I foundheronedaydressedtogoout。 “Iamnotlongforthisworld，Francis，“shesaid。“Ishallnotfeeleasyonmydeathbed，unlessIhavedonemybesttothelasttomakeyouhappy。Imeantoputmyownfearsandmyownfeelingsoutofthequestion，andgowithyoutoyourwife，andtrywhatIcandotoreclaimher。Takemehomewithyou，Francis。LetmedoallIcantohelpmyson，beforeitistoolate。“ HowcouldIdisobeyher？Wetooktherailwaytothetown:itwasonlyhalfanhour’sride。Byoneo’clockintheafternoonwereachedmyhouse。Itwasourdinnerhour，andAliciawasinthekitchen。Iwasabletotakemymotherquietlyintotheparlorandthentopreparemywifeforthevisit。Shehaddrunkbutlittleatthatearlyhour；and，luckily，thedevilinherwastamedforthetime。 Shefollowedmeintotheparlor，andthemeetingpassedoffbetterthanIhadventuredtoforecast；withthisonedrawback，thatmymother——thoughshetriedhardtocontrolherself——shrankfromlookingmywifeinthefacewhenshespoketoher。ItwasarelieftomewhenAliciabegantopreparethetablefordinner。 Shelaidthecloth，broughtinthebreadtray，andcutsomeslicesforusfromtheloaf。Thenshereturnedtothekitchen。Atthatmoment，whileIwasstillanxiouslywatchingmymother，IwasstartledbyseeingthesameghastlychangepassoverherfacewhichhadaltereditinthemorningwhenAliciaandshefirstmet。 BeforeIcouldsayaword，shestartedupwithalookofhorror。 “Takemeback！——home，homeagain，Francis！Comewithme，andnevergobackmore！“ Iwasafraidtoaskforanexplanation；Icouldonlysignhertobesilent，andhelpherquicklytothedoor。Aswepassedthebreadtrayonthetable，shestoppedandpointedtoit。 “Didyouseewhatyourwifecutyourbreadwith？“sheasked。 “No，mother；Iwasnotnoticing。Whatwasit？“ “Look！“ Ididlook。Anewclaspknife，withabuckhornhandle，laywiththeloafinthebreadtray。Istretchedoutmyhandtopossessmyselfofit。Atthesamemoment，therewasanoiseinthekitchen，andmymothercaughtmebythearm。 “TheknifeoftheDream！Francis，I’mfaintwithfear——takemeawaybeforeshecomesback！“ Icouldn’tspeaktocomfortoreventoanswerher。SuperiorasI wastosuperstition，thediscoveryoftheknifestaggeredme。Insilence，Ihelpedmymotheroutofthehouse；andtookherhome。 Iheldoutmyhandtosaygood-by。Shetriedtostopme。 “Don’tgoback，Francis！don’tgoback！“ “Imustgettheknife，mother。Imustgobackbythenexttrain。“ Iheldtothatresolution。BythenexttrainIwentback。 Mywifehad，ofcourse，discoveredoursecretdeparturefromthehouse。Shehadbeendrinking。Shewasinafuryofpassion。Thedinnerinthekitchenwasflungunderthegrate；theclothwasofftheparlortable。Wherewastheknife？ Iwasfoolishenoughtoaskforit。Sherefusedtogiveittome。 Inthecourseofthedisputebetweenuswhichfollowed，I discoveredthattherewasahorriblestoryattachedtotheknife。 Ithadbeenusedinamurder——yearssince——andhadbeensoskillfullyhiddenthattheauthoritieshadbeenunabletoproduceitatthetrial。Byhelpofsomeofherdisreputablefriends，mywifehadbeenabletopurchasethisrelicofabygonecrime。Herpervertednaturesetsomehorridunacknowledgedvalueontheknife。 Seeingtherewasnohopeofgettingitbyfairmeans，Ideterminedtosearchforit，laterintheday，insecret。Thesearchwasunsuccessful。Nightcameon，andIleftthehousetowalkaboutthestreets。YouwillunderstandwhatabrokenmanIwasbythistime，whenItellyouIwasafraidtosleepinthesameroomwithher！ Threeweekspassed。Stillsherefusedtogiveuptheknife；andstillthatfearofsleepinginthesameroomwithherpossessedme。 Iwalkedaboutatnight，ordozedintheparlor，orsatwatchingbymymother’sbedside。Beforetheendofthefirstweekinthenewmonth，theworstmisfortuneofallbefellme——mymotherdied。Itwantedthenbutashorttimetomybirthday。Shehadlongedtolivetillthatday。Iwaspresentatherdeath。Herlastwordsinthisworldwereaddressedtome。“Don’tgoback，myson——don’tgoback！“ Iwasobligedtogoback，ifitwasonlytowatchmywife。Inthelastdaysofmymother’sillnessshehadspitefullyaddedastingtomygriefbydeclaringshewouldassertherrighttoattendthefuneral。InspiteofallthatIcoulddoorsay，sheheldtoherword。Onthedayappointedfortheburialsheforcedherself，inflamedandshamelesswithdrink，intomypresence，andsworeshewouldwalkinthefuneralprocessiontomymother’sgrave。 Thislastinsult——afterallIhadgonethroughalready——wasmorethanIcouldendure。Itmaddenedme。Trytomakeallowancesforamanbesidehimself。Istruckher。 Theinstanttheblowwasdealt，Irepentedit。Shecroucheddown，silent，inacorneroftheroom，andeyedmesteadily。Itwasalookthatcooledmyhotbloodinaninstant。Therewasnotimenowtothinkofmakingatonement。Icouldonlyrisktheworst，andmakesureofhertillthefuneralwasover。Ilockedherintoherbedroom。 WhenIcameback，afterlayingmymotherinthegrave，Ifoundhersittingbythebedside，verymuchalteredinlookandbearing，withabundleonherlap。Shefacedmequietly；shespokewithacuriousstillnessinhervoice——strangelyandunnaturallycomposedinlookandmanner。 “Nomanhaseverstruckmeyet，“shesaid。“Myhusbandshallhavenosecondopportunity。Setthedooropen，andletmego。“ Shepassedme，andlefttheroom。Isawherwalkawayupthestreet。Wasshegoneforgood？ AllthatnightIwatchedandwaited。Nofootstepcamenearthehouse。Thenextnight，overcomewithfatigue，Ilaydownonthebedinmyclothes，withthedoorlocked，thekeyonthetable，andthecandleburning。Myslumberwasnotdisturbed。Thethirdnight，thefourth，thefifth，thesixth，passed，andnothinghappened。Ilaydownontheseventhnight，stillsuspiciousofsomethinghappening；stillinmyclothes；stillwiththedoorlocked，thekeyonthetable，andthecandleburning。 Myrestwasdisturbed。Iawoketwice，withoutanysensationofuneasiness。Thethirdtime，thathorridshiveringofthenightatthelonelyinn，thatawfulsinkingpainattheheart，camebackagain，androusedmeinaninstant。Myeyesturnedtotheleft- handsideofthebed。Andtherestood，lookingatme—— TheDreamWomanagain？No！Mywife。Thelivingwoman，withthefaceoftheDream——intheattitudeoftheDream——thefairarmup； theknifeclaspedinthedelicatewhitehand。 Ispranguponherontheinstant；butnotquicklyenoughtostopherfromhidingtheknife。Withoutawordfromme，withoutacryfromher，Ipinionedherinachair。WithonehandIfeltuphersleeve；andthere，wheretheDreamWomanhadhiddentheknife，mywifehadhiddenit——theknifewiththebuckhornhandle，thatlookedlikenew。 WhatIfeltwhenImadethatdiscoveryIcouldnotrealizeatthetime，andIcan’tdescribenow。Itookonesteadylookatherwiththeknifeinmyhand。“Youmeanttokillme？“Isaid。 “Yes，“sheanswered；“Imeanttokillyou。“Shecrossedherarmsoverherbosom，andstaredmecoollyintheface。“Ishalldoityet，“shesaid。“Withthatknife。“ Idon’tknowwhatpossessedme——IsweartoyouIamnocoward；andyetIactedlikeacoward。Thehorrorsgotholdofme。Icouldn’tlookather——Icouldn’tspeaktoher。Ilefther(withtheknifeinmyhand)，andwentoutintothenight。 Therewasableakwindabroad，andthesmellofrainwasintheair。ThechurchclockschimedthequarterasIwalkedbeyondthelasthouseinthetown。IaskedthefirstpolicemanImetwhathourthatwas，ofwhichthequarterpasthadjuststruck。 Themanlookedathiswatch，andanswered，“Twoo’clock。“Twointhemorning。Whatdayofthemonthwasthisdaythathadjustbegun？Ireckoneditupfromthedateofmymother’sfuneral。Thehorridparallelbetweenthedreamandtherealitywascomplete——itwasmybirthday！ HadIescapedthemortalperilwhichthedreamforetold？orhadI onlyreceivedasecondwarning？AsthatdoubtcrossedmymindI stoppedonmywayoutofthetown。Theairhadrevivedme——Ifeltinsomedegreelikemyownselfagain。Afteralittlethinking，I begantoseeplainlythemistakeIhadmadeinleavingmywifefreetogowhereshelikedandtodoasshepleased。 Iturnedinstantly，andmademywaybacktothehouse。Itwasstilldark。Ihadleftthecandleburninginthebedchamber。WhenIlookeduptothewindowoftheroomnow，therewasnolightinit。Iadvancedtothehousedoor。Ongoingaway，Irememberedtohaveclosedit；ontryingitnow，Ifounditopen。 Iwaitedoutside，neverlosingsightofthehousetilldaylight。 ThenIventuredindoors——listened，andheardnothing——lookedintothekitchen，scullery，parlor，andfoundnothing——wentupatlastintothebedroom。Itwasempty。 Apicklocklayonthefloor，whichtoldmehowshehadgainedentranceinthenight。AndthatwastheonetraceIcouldfindoftheDreamWoman。