第8章

类别:其他 作者:Robert Louis Stevenson字数:5653更新时间:18/12/27 09:07:25
makingmysituationdifficultinApia。Abouteleven,theflagswereallhalf-masted;itwasoldCaptainHamilton(Samesonithenativescalledhim)whohadpassedaway。IntheeveningIwalkedroundtotheU。S。Consulate;itwasalovelynightwithafullmoon;andasIgotroundtothehotcornerofMatautuIheardhymnsinfront。Thebalconyofthedeadman’shousewasfullofwomensinging;Mary(thewidow,anative)satonachairbythedoorstep,andIwassetbesideheronabench,andnexttoPaulthecarpenter;asI satdownIhadaglimpseoftheoldcaptain,wholayinasheetonhisowntable。Afterthehymnwasover,anativepastormadeaspeechwhichlastedalongwhile;thelightpouredoutofthedoorandwindows;thegirlsweresittingclusteredatmyfeet;itwaschokinghot。Afterthespeechwasended,Marycarriedmewithin;thecaptain’shandswerefoldedonhisbosom,hisfaceandheadwerecomposed;helookedasifhemightspeakatanymoment;Ihaveneverseenthiskindofwaxworksoexpressormorevenerable;andwhenI wentaway,Iwasconsciousofacertainenvyforthemanwhowasoutofthebattle。Allnightitraninmyhead,andthenextdaywhenwesightedTutuila,andranintothisbeautifulland-lockedlochofPagoPago(whenceIwrite),CaptainHamilton’sfoldedhandsandquietfacesaidagreatdealmoretomethanthescenery。 Iamlivinghereinatrader’shouse;wehaveagoodtable,Sewalldoingthingsinstyle;andIhopetobenefitbythechange,andpossiblygetmorestuffforLetters。Inthemeanwhile,IamseizedquiteMAL-A-PROPOSwithdesiretowriteastory,THEBLOODYWEDDING,foundedonfact-verypossiblytrue,beinganattempttoreadamurdercase-notyetmonthsold,inthisveryplaceandhousewhereInowwrite。Theindiscretioniswhatstopsme;butifIkeeponfeelingasIfeeljustnowitwillhavetobewritten。ThreeStarNettison,KitNettison,FieldtheSailor,thesearethemaincharacters:oldNettison,andthecaptainofthemanofwar,thesecondary。Possiblescenario。ChapterI…… MYDEARCOLVIN,-IgotbackonMondaynight,aftertwenty- threehoursinanopenboat;thekeyswerelost;theConsul(whohadpromisedusabottleofBurgundy)noblybrokeopenhisstore-room,andwegottobedaboutmidnight。NextmorningtheblessedConsulpromisedushorsesforthedaybreak;forgotallaboutit,worthyman;setusoffatlastintheheatoftheday,andbyashortcutwhichcausedinfinitetrouble,andwewerenothometilldinner。Iwasextenuated,andhavehadahighfeversince,orshouldhavebeenwritingbefore。To-dayforthefirsttime,Iriskit。 TuesdayIwasprettybad;Wednesdayhadafevertokillahorse;ThursdayIwasbetter,butstilloutofabilitytodoaughtbutreadawfultrash。Thisisthetimeonemissescivilisation;Iwishedtosendoutforsomepolicenovels; Montepinwouldhaveaboutsuitedmyfrozenbrain。Itisabotherwhenallone’sthoughtturnsonone’sworkinsomesenseorother;couldnoteventhinkyesterday;Itooktoinventingdishesbywayofentertainment。Yesterday,while layasleepintheafternoon,averyluckythinghappened;theChiefJusticecametocall;metoneofouremployesontheroad;andwasshownwhatIhaddonetotheroad。 ’Isthistheroadacrosstheisland?’heasked。 ’Theonlyone,’saidInnes。 ’Andhasonemandoneallthis?’ ’Threetimes,’saidthetrustyInnes。’Ithashadtobemadethreetimes,andwhenMr。Stevensoncame,itwasatracklikewhatyouseebeyond。’ ’Thismustbeputright,’saidtheChiefJustice。 SUNDAY。 Thetruthis,IbrokedownyesterdayalmostassoonasI began,andhavebeensurreptitiouslyfinishingtheentryto- day。ForallthatIwasmuchbetter,ateallthetime,andhadnofever。Thedaywasotherwiseuneventful。Iamreminded;IhadanothervisitoronFriday;andFannyandLloyd,astheyreturnedfromaforestraid,metinourdesert,untroddenroad,firstFatherDidier,KeeperoftheconscienceofMataafa,therisingstar;andnexttheChiefjustice,solestayofLaupepa,thepresentandunsteadystar,andremember,afewdaysbeforewewereclosetothesickbedandentertainedbytheamateurphysicianofTamasese,thelateandsunkenstar。’Thatisthefunofthisplace,’ observedLloyd;’everybodyyoumeetissoimportant。’ Everybodyisalsosogloomy。Itwillcometowaragain,istheopinionofallthewellinformed-andbeforethattomanybankruptcies;andafterthat,asusual,tofamine。 Here,underthemicroscope,wecanseehistoryatwork。 WEDNESDAY。 Ihavebeenveryneglectful。Areturntowork,perhapspremature,butnecessary,hasusedupallmypossibleenergiesandmademeacquaintedwiththelivingheadache。I justjotdownsomeofthepastnotabilia。YesterdayB。,acarpenter,andK。,my(unsuccessful)whiteman,wereabsentallmorningfromtheirwork;Iwasworkingmyself,whereI heareverysoundwithmorbidcertainty,andIcantestifythatnotahammerfell。UponinquiryIfoundtheyhadpassedthemorningmakingicewithouricemachineandtakingthehorizonwithaspiritlevel!Ihadnosoonerheardthisthan-aviolentheadachesetin;Iamarealemployeroflabournow,andhavemuchoftheshipcaptainwhenaroused;andifI hadaheadache,Ibelieveboththesegentlemenhadachinghearts。Ipromiseyou,thelate-wastothefront;andK。,whowasthemostguilty,yet(inasense)theleastblameable,havingthebrainsandcharacterofacanary-bird,farednonethebetterforB。’srepartees。Ihearthemhardatworkthismorning,sothemenacemaybeblessed。Itwasjustaftermydinner,justbeforetheirs,thatIadministeredmyredoubtabletongue-itisreallyredoubtable-totheseskulkers(PaulusedtotriumphoverMr。J。forweeks。’Iamverysorryforyou,’hewouldsay;’you’regoingtohaveatalkwithMr。Stevensonwhenhecomeshome:youdon’tknowwhatthatis!’)Infact,noneofthemdo,tilltheygetit。 IhaveknownK。,forinstance,formonths;hehasneverheardmecomplain,ortakenotice,unlessitweretopraise;Ihaveusedhimalwaysasmyguest,andthereseemstobesomethinginmyappearancewhichsuggestsendless,ovinelong- suffering!Wesatintheupperverandahallevening,anddiscussedthepriceofironroofing,andthestateofthedraught-horses,withInnes,anewmanwehavetaken,andwhoseemstopromisewell。 Onethingembarrassesme。Nooneeverseemstounderstandmyattitudeaboutthatbook;thestuffsentwasnevermeantforotherthanafirststate;Inevermeantittoappearasabook。KnowingwellthatIhaveneverhadonehourofinspirationsinceitwasbegun,andhaveonlybeatenoutmymetalbybruteforceandpatientrepetition,Ihopedsomedaytogeta’spateofstyle’andburnishit-finemixedmetaphor。IamnowsosickthatIintend,whentheLettersaredoneandsomemorewrittenthatwillbewanted,simplytomakeabookofitbythepruning-knife。 Icannotfightlonger;IamsensibleofhavingdoneworsethanIhoped,worsethanIfeared;allIcandonowistodothebestIcanforthefuture,andclearthebook,likeapieceofbush,withaxeandcutlass。EventoproducetheMS。 ofthiswilloccupyme,atthemostfavourableopinion,tillthemiddleofnextyear;reallyfiveyearswerewanting,whenIcouldhavemadeabook;butIhaveafamily,and-perhapsIcouldnotmakethebookafterall。 MYDEARCOLVIN,-Ibeginagain。Iwasawakethismorningabouthalf-pastfour。Itwasstillnight,butImademyfire,whichisalwaysadelightfulemployment,andreadLockhart’s’Scott’untilthedaybegantopeep。Itwasabeautifulandsoberdawn,adove-coloureddawn,insensiblybrighteningtogold。Iwaslookingatitsomewhileoverthedown-hillprofileofoureasternroad,whenIchancedtoglancenorthward,andsawwithextraordinarypleasurethesealyingoutspread。Itseemedassmoothasglass,andyetI knewthesurfwasroaringallalongthereef,andindeed,ifIhadlistened,Icouldhaveheardit-andsawthewhitesweepofitoutsideMatautu。 Iamoutofconditionstill,andcandonothing,andtoiltobeatmypen,andseesomeinkbehindme。IhavetakenupagainTHEHIGHWOODSOFULUFANUA。Istillthinkthefabletoofantasticandfar-fetched。But,onare-reading,fellinlovewithmyfirstchapter,andforgoodorevilImustfinishit。Itisreallygood,wellfedwithfacts,truetothemanners,and(foronceinmyworks)renderedpleasingbythepresenceofaheroinewhoispretty。MissUmaispretty; afact。Allmyotherwomenhavebeenasuglyassin,andlikeFalconet’shorse(IhavejustbeenreadingtheanecdoteinLockhart),MORTESforbye。 News:Ouroldhouseisnowhalfdemolished;itistoberebuiltonanewsite;nowwelookdownuponandthroughtheopenpostsofitlikeabird-cage,tothewoodsbeyond。MypoorPaulohaslosthisfatherandsucceededtothirtythousandthalers(Ithink);hehadtogodowntotheConsulateyesterdaytosendalegalpaper;gotdrunk,ofcourse,andisstillthismorninginsobemusedaconditionthatourbreakfastsallwentwrong。Lafaeleisabsentatthedeathbedofhisfairspouse;fairshewas,butnotindeed,actingasharlottothewreckersatworkonthewarships,towhichsocietysheprobablyowesherend,havingfallenoffacliff,orbeenthrustoffit-INTERPOCULA。Henryisthesame,ourstand-by。InthistransitionstagehehasbeenlivinginApia;buttheothernighthestayedup,andsatwithusaboutthechimneyinmyroom。Itwasthefirsttimehehadseenafireinahearth;hecouldnotlookatitwithoutsmiles,andwasalwaysanxioustoputonanotherstick。Weentertainedhimwiththefairytalesofcivilisation-theatres,London,blocksinthestreet,Universities,theUnderground,newspapers,etc。,andprojectedoncemorehisvisittoSydney。Ifwecanmanage,itwillbenextChristmas。(IseeitwillbeimpossibleformetoaffordafurtherjourneyTHISwinter。)Wehavespentsincewehavebeenhereabout2500pounds,whichisnotmuchifyouconsiderwehavebuiltonthatthreehouses,oneofthemofsomesize,andaconsiderablestable,madetwomilesofroadsomethreetimes,clearedmanyacresofbush,madesomemilesofpath,plantedquantitiesoffood,andenclosedahorsepaddockandsomeacresofpigrun;but’tisagooddealofmoneyregardedsimplyasmoney。K。isbosh;Ihavenouseforhim;butwemustdowhatwecanwiththefellowmeanwhile;heisgood-humouredandhonest,butinefficient,idlehimself,thecauseofidlenessinothers,grumbling,aself-excuser-allthefaultsinabundle。Heowesusthirtyweeks’service-thewretchedPaulabouthalfasmuch。Henryisalmosttheonlyoneofouremployeswhohasacredit。 Well,amIashamedofmyself?Idonotthinkso。IhavebeenhammeringLetterseversince,andgotthreereadyandafourthabouthalfthrough;allfourwillgobythemail,whichiswhatIwish,forsoIkeepatleastmystart。Daysanddaysofunprofitablestubbinganddigging,andtheresultstillpoorasliterature,left-handed,heavy,unillumined,butIbelievereadableandinterestingasmatter。Ithasbeennojokeofahardtime,andwhenmytaskwasdone,Ihadlittletasteforanythingbutblowingonthepipe。Afewnecessarylettersfilledthebowltooverflowing。 Mymotherhasarrived,young,well,andingoodspirits。Bydesperateexertions,whichhavewhollyflooredFanny,herroomwasreadyforher,andthedining-roomfittoeatin。 Itwasafamousvictory。Lloydnevertoldmeofyourportraittillafewdaysago;fortunately,Ihadnopictureshungyet;andthespaceovermychimneywaitsyourcounterfeitpresentment。Ihavenotoftenheardanythingthatpleasedmemore;yoursevereheadshallfrownuponmeandkeepmetothemark。Butwhyhasitnotcome?HaveyoubeenasforgetfulasLloyd? Miserablecomfortersareyeall!Ireadyouresteemedpagesthismorningbylamplightandtheglimmerofthedawn,andassoonasbreakfastwasover,Imustturntoandtacklethesedespisedlabours!Somecouragewasnecessary,butnotwanting。ThereisonethingatleastbywhichIcanavengemyselfformydrubbing,forononepointyouseemimpenetrablystupid。CanIfindnoformofwordswhichwillatlastconveytoyourintelligencethefactthatTHESE LETTERSWERENEVERMEANT,ANDARENOTNOWMEANT,TOBEOTHER THANAQUARRYOFMATERIALSFROMWHICHTHEBOOKMAYBEDRAWN? Thereseemssomethingincommunicableinthis(tome)simpleidea;IknowLloydfailedtocomprehendit,Idoubtifhehasgraspeditnow;andIdespair,afteralltheseefforts,thatyoushouldeverbeenlightened。Still,obligemebyreadingthatformofwordsoncemore,andseeifalightdoesnotbreak。Youmaybesure,afterthefriendlyfreedomsofyourcriticism(necessaryIamsure,andwholesomeIknow,butuntimelytothepoorlabourerinhislandslip)thatmightylittleofitwillstand。 OurPaulhascomeintoafortune,andwishestogohometotheHieGermanie。Thisisatileonourhead,andifashower,whichisnowfalling,letsup,ImustgodowntoApia,andseeifIcanfindasubstituteofanykind。Thisis,fromanypointofview,disgusting;aboveall,fromthatofwork;for,whatevertheresult,themillhastobekeptturning;apparentlydust,andnotflour,istheproceed。