第5章

类别:其他 作者:Thomas Hardy字数:3306更新时间:18/12/27 09:08:44
’Whendidyoup-p-partfromhim?’sheasked,hernetherlipstartingoffquiveringsomuchthatitwaslikeatremolo-stopopenedinherspeech。Shelongedtorunawayfromthisdreadfulboreandcryhereyesout。 ’Justnow,intheturnpikeroadyonderthere。’ ’What!hehasactuallygonepastmygates?’ ’Yes。Whenwegottothem——handsomegatestheyare,too,thefinestbitofmodernwrought-ironworkIhaveseen——whenwecametothemwestopped,talkingtherealittlewhile,andthenhewishedmegood- byeandwenton。Thetruthis,he’salittlebitdepressedjustnow,anddoesn’twanttoseeanybody。He’saverygoodfellow,andawarmfriend,butalittleuncertainandgloomysometimes;hethinkstoomuchofthings。Hispoetryisrathertooeroticandpassionate,youknow,forsometastes;andhehasjustcomeinforaterribleslatingfromthe——Reviewthatwaspublishedyesterday;hesawacopyofitatthestationbyaccident。Perhapsyou’vereadit?’ ’No。’ ’Somuchthebetter。O,itisnotworththinkingof;justoneofthosearticleswrittentoorder,topleasethenarrow-mindedsetofsubscribersuponwhomthecirculationdepends。Buthe’supsetbyit。Hesaysitisthemisrepresentationthathurtshimso;that,thoughhecanstandafairattack,hecan’tstandliesthathe’spowerlesstorefuteandstopfromspreading。That’sjustTrewe’sweakpoint。Helivessomuchbyhimselfthatthesethingsaffecthimmuchmorethantheywouldifhewereinthebustleoffashionableorcommerciallife。Sohewouldn’tcomehere,makingtheexcusethatitalllookedsonewandmonied——ifyou’llpardon——’ ’But——hemusthaveknown——therewassympathyhere!Hasheneversaidanythingaboutgettinglettersfromthisaddress?’ ’Yes,yes,hehas,fromJohnIvy——perhapsarelativeofyours,hethought,visitinghereatthetime?’ ’Didhe——likeIvy,didhesay?’ ’Well,Idon’tknowthathetookanygreatinterestinIvy。’ ’Orinhispoems?’ ’Orinhispoems——sofarasIknow,thatis。’ RobertTrewetooknointerestinherhouse,inherpoems,orintheirwriter。Assoonasshecouldgetawayshewentintothenurseryandtriedtoletoffheremotionbyunnecessarilykissingthechildren,tillshehadasuddensenseofdisgustatbeingremindedhowplain-lookingtheywere,liketheirfather。 Theobtuseandsingle-mindedlandscape-painterneveronceperceivedfromherconversationthatitwasonlyTreweshewanted,andnothimself。Hemadethebestofhisvisit,seemingtoenjoythesocietyofElla’shusband,whoalsotookagreatfancytohim,andshowedhimeverywhereabouttheneighbourhood,neitherofthemnoticingElla’smood。 Thepainterhadbeengoneonlyadayortwowhen,whilesittingupstairsaloneonemorning,sheglancedovertheLondonpaperjustarrived,andreadthefollowingparagraph:- ’SUICIDEOFAPOET ’Mr。RobertTrewe,whohasbeenfavourablyknownforsomeyearsasoneofourrisinglyrists,committedsuicideathislodgingsatSolentseaonSaturdayeveninglastbyshootinghimselfintherighttemplewitharevolver。ReadershardlyneedtoberemindedthatMr。 Trewehasrecentlyattractedtheattentionofamuchwiderpublicthanhadhithertoknownhim,byhisnewvolumeofverse,mostlyofanimpassionedkind,entitled“LyricstoaWomanUnknown,“whichhasbeenalreadyfavourablynoticedinthesepagesfortheextraordinarygamutoffeelingittraverses,andwhichhasbeenmadethesubjectofasevere,ifnotferocious,criticisminthe——Review。Itissupposed,thoughnotcertainlyknown,thatthearticlemayhavepartiallyconducedtothesadact,asacopyofthereviewinquestionwasfoundonhiswriting-table;andhehasbeenobservedtobeinasomewhatdepressedstateofmindsincethecritiqueappeared。’ Thencamethereportoftheinquest,atwhichthefollowingletterwasread,ithavingbeenaddressedtoafriendatadistance:- ’DEAR-,——BeforetheselinesreachyourhandsIshallbedeliveredfromtheinconveniencesofseeing,hearing,andknowingmoreofthethingsaroundme。IwillnottroubleyoubygivingmyreasonsforthestepIhavetaken,thoughIcanassureyoutheyweresoundandlogical。PerhapshadIbeenblessedwithamother,orasister,orafemalefriendofanothersorttenderlydevotedtome,Imighthavethoughtitworthwhiletocontinuemypresentexistence。Ihavelongdreamtofsuchanunattainablecreature,asyouknow,andshe,thisundiscoverable,elusiveone,inspiredmylastvolume;theimaginarywomanalone,for,inspiteofwhathasbeensaidinsomequarters,thereisnorealwomanbehindthetitle。Shehascontinuedtothelastunrevealed,unmet,unwon。Ithinkitdesirabletomentionthisinorderthatnoblamemayattachtoanyrealwomanashavingbeenthecauseofmydeceasebycruelorcavaliertreatmentofme。TellmylandladythatIamsorrytohavecausedherthisunpleasantness;butmyoccupancyoftheroomswillsoonbeforgotten。Thereareamplefundsinmynameatthebanktopayallexpenses。R。TREWE。’ Ellasatforawhileasifstunned,thenrushedintotheadjoiningchamberandflungherselfuponherfaceonthebed。 Hergriefanddistractionshookhertopieces;andshelayinthisfrenzyofsorrowformorethananhour。Brokenwordscameeverynowandthenfromherquiveringlips:’O,ifhehadonlyknownofme—— knownofme——me!……O,ifIhadonlyoncemethim——onlyonce;andputmyhanduponhishotforehead——kissedhim——lethimknowhowI lovedhim——thatIwouldhavesufferedshameandscorn,wouldhavelivedanddied,forhim!Perhapsitwouldhavesavedhisdearlife!……Butno——itwasnotallowed!GodisajealousGod;andthathappinesswasnotforhimandme!’ Allpossibilitieswereover;themeetingwasstultified。Yetitwasalmostvisibletoherinherfantasyevennow,thoughitcouldneverbesubstantiated- ’Thehourwhichmighthavebeen,yetmightnotbe,Whichman’sandwoman’sheartconceivedandbore,Yetwhereoflifewasbarren。’ ShewrotetothelandladyatSolentseainthethirdperson,inassubduedastyleasshecouldcommand,enclosingapostalorderforasovereign,andinformingMrs。HooperthatMrs。Marchmillhadseeninthepapersthesadaccountofthepoet’sdeath,andhavingbeen,asMrs。Hooperwasaware,muchinterestedinMr。TreweduringherstayatCoburgHouse,shewouldbeobligedifMrs。Hoopercouldobtainasmallportionofhishairbeforehiscoffinwascloseddown,andsenditherasamemorialofhim,asalsothephotographthatwasintheframe。 Bythereturn-postaletterarrivedcontainingwhathadbeenrequested。Ellaweptovertheportraitandsecureditinherprivatedrawer;thelockofhairshetiedwithwhiteribbonandputinherbosom,whenceshedrewitandkissediteverynowandtheninsomeunobservednook。 ’What’sthematter?’saidherhusband,lookingupfromhisnewspaperononeoftheseoccasions。’Cryingoversomething?Alockofhair? Whoseisit?’ ’He’sdead!’shemurmured。 ’Who?’ ’Idon’twanttotellyou,Will,justnow,unlessyouinsist!’shesaid,asobhangingheavyinhervoice。 ’O,allright。’ ’Doyoumindmyrefusing?Iwilltellyousomeday。’ ’Itdoesn’tmatterintheleast,ofcourse。’ Hewalkedawaywhistlingafewbarsofnotuneinparticular;andwhenhehadgotdowntohisfactoryinthecitythesubjectcameintoMarchmill’sheadagain。 He,too,wasawarethatasuicidehadtakenplacerecentlyatthehousetheyhadoccupiedatSolentsea。Havingseenthevolumeofpoemsinhiswife’shandoflate,andheardfragmentsofthelandlady’sconversationaboutTrewewhentheywerehertenants,heallatoncesaidtohimself;’Whyofcourseit’she!Howthedevildidshegettoknowhim?Whatslyanimalswomenare!’