第22章

类别:其他 作者:Thomas Hardy字数:4107更新时间:18/12/27 09:08:44
OneSeptemberevening,fourmonthslater,whenMrs。Barnetwasinperfecthealth,andMrs。Downebutaweakeningmemory,anerrand-boypausedtoresthimselfinfrontofMr。Barnet’soldhouse,depositinghisbasketononeofthewindow-sills。Thestreetwasnotyetlighted,buttherewerelightsinthehouse,andatintervalsaflittingshadowfellupontheblindathiselbow。Wordsalsowereaudiblefromthesameapartment,andtheyseemedtobethoseofpersonsinviolentaltercation。Buttheboycouldnotgathertheirpurport,andhewentonhisway。 TenminutesafterwardsthedoorofBarnet’shouseopened,andatallclosely-veiledladyinatravelling-dresscameoutanddescendedthefreestonesteps。Theservantstoodinthedoorwaywatchingherasshewentwithameasuredtreaddownthestreet。WhenshehadbeenoutofsightforsomeminutesBarnetappearedatthedoorfromwithin。 ’Didyourmistressleavewordwhereshewasgoing?’heasked。 ’No,sir。’ ’Isthecarriageorderedtomeetheranywhere?’ ’No,sir。’ ’Didshetakealatch-key?’ ’No,sir。’ Barnetwentinagain,satdowninhischair,andleanedback。Theninsolitudeandsilencehebroodedoverthebitteremotionsthatfilledhisheart。Itwasforthisthathehadgratuitouslyrestoredhertolife,andmadehisunionwithanotherimpossible!Theeveningdrewon,andnobodycametodisturbhim。Atbedtimehetoldtheservantstoretire,thathewouldsitupforMrs。Barnethimself;andwhentheyweregoneheleanedhisheaduponhishandandmusedforhours。 Theclockstruckone,two;stillhiswifecamenot,and,withimpatienceaddedtodepression,hewentfromroomtoroomtillanotherwearyhourhadpassed。ThiswasnotaltogetheranewexperienceforBarnet;butshehadneverbeforesoprolongedherabsence。Atlasthesatdownagainandfellasleep。 Heawokeatsixo’clocktofindthatshehadnotreturned。Insearchingabouttheroomshediscoveredthatshehadtakenacaseofjewelswhichhadbeenhersbeforehermarriage。Ateightanotewasbroughthim;itwasfromhiswife,inwhichshestatedthatshehadgonebythecoachtothehouseofadistantrelativenearLondon,andexpressedawishthatcertainboxes,articlesofclothing,andsoon,mightbesenttoherforthwith。ThenotewasbroughttohimbyawaiterattheBlack-BullHotel,andhadbeenwrittenbyMrs。 Barnetimmediatelybeforeshetookherplaceinthestage。 Bytheeveningthisorderwascarriedout,andBarnet,withasenseofrelief,walkedoutintothetown。Afairhadbeenheldduringtheday,andthelargeclearmoonwhichroseoverthemostprominenthillflungitslightupontheboothsandstandingsthatstillremainedinthestreet,mixingitsrayscuriouslywiththosefromtheflaringnaphthalamps。Thetownwasfullofcountry-peoplewhohadcomeintoenjoythemselves,andonthisaccountBarnetstrolledthroughthestreetsunobserved。Withacertainrecklessnesshemadefortheharbour-road,andpresentlyfoundhimselfbytheshore,wherehewalkedontillhecametothespotnearwhichhisfriendthekindlyMrs。Downehadlostherlife,andhisownwife’slifehadbeenpreserved。Atremulouspathwayofbrightmoonshinenowstretchedoverthewaterwhichhadengulfedthem,andnotalivingsoulwasnear。 Hereheruminatedontheircharacters,andnextontheyounggirlinwhomhenowtookamoresensitiveinterestthanatthetimewhenhehadbeenfreetomarryher。Nothing,sofarashewasaware,hadeverappearedinhisownconducttoshowthatsuchaninterestexisted。Hehadmadeitapointoftheutmoststrictnesstohinderthatfeelingfrominfluencinginthefaintestdegreehisattitudetowardshiswife;andthiswasmadeallthemoreeasyforhimbythesmalldemandMrs。Barnetmadeuponhisattentions,forwhichsheeverevincedthegreatestcontempt;thusunwittinglygivinghimthesatisfactionofknowingthattheirseveranceowednothingtojealousy,or,indeed,toanypersonalbehaviourofhisatall。Herconcernwasnotwithhimorhisfeelings,asshefrequentlytoldhim;butthatshehad,inamomentofweakness,thrownherselfawayuponacommonburgherwhenshemighthaveaimedat,andpossiblybroughtdown,apeeroftherealm。HerfrequentdepreciationofBarnetinthesetermshadattimesbeensointensethathewassorelytemptedtoretaliateonheregotismbyowningthathelovedatthesamelowlevelonwhichhelived;butprudencehadprevailed,forwhichhewasnowthankful。 Somethingseemedtosoundupontheshinglebehindhimoverandabovetherakingofthewave。Helookedround,andaslightgirlishshapeappearedquiteclosetohim,Hecouldnotseeherfacebecauseitwasinthedirectionofthemoon。 ’Mr。Barnet?’theramblersaid,intimidsurprise。ThevoicewasthevoiceofLucySavile。 ’Yes,’saidBarnet。’HowcanIrepayyouforthispleasure?’ ’Ionlycamebecausethenightwassoclear。Iamnowonmywayhome。’ ’Iamgladwehavemet。Iwanttoknowifyouwillletmedosomethingforyou,togivemeanoccupation,asanidleman?IamsureIoughttohelpyou,forIknowyouarealmostwithoutfriends。’ Shehesitated。’Whyshouldyoutellmethat?’shesaid。 ’Inthehopethatyouwillbefrankwithme。’ ’Iamnotaltogetherwithoutfriendshere。ButIamgoingtomakealittlechangeinmylife——togooutasateacheroffreehanddrawingandpracticalperspective,ofcourseImeanonacomparativelyhumblescale,becauseIhavenotbeenspeciallyeducatedforthatprofession。ButIamsureIshalllikeitmuch。’ ’Youhaveanopening?’ ’Ihavenotexactlygotit,butIhaveadvertisedforone。’ ’Lucy,youmustletmehelpyou!’ ’Notatall。’ ’Youneednotthinkitwouldcompromiseyou,orthatIamindifferenttodelicacy。Ibearinmindhowwestand。Itisveryunlikelythatyouwillsucceedasteacheroftheclassyoumention,soletmedosomethingofadifferentkindforyou。Saywhatyouwouldlike,anditshallbedone。’ ’No;ifIcan’tbeadrawing-mistressorgoverness,orsomethingofthatsort,IshallgotoIndiaandjoinmybrother。’ ’IwishIcouldgoabroad,anywhere,everywherewithyou,Lucy,andleavethisplaceanditsassociationsforever!’ Sheplayedwiththeendofherbonnet-string,andhastilyturnedaside。’Don’tevertouchuponthatkindoftopicagain,’shesaid,withaquickseveritynotfreefromanger。’Itsimplymakesitimpossibleformetoseeyou,muchlessreceiveanyguidancefromyou。No,thankyou,Mr。Barnet;youcandonothingformeatpresent;andasIsupposemyuncertaintywillendinmyleavingforIndia,Ifearyouneverwill。IfeverIthinkyouCANdoanything,Iwilltakethetroubletoaskyou。Tillthen,good-bye。’ Thetoneofherlatterwordswasequivocal,andwhileheremainedindoubtwhetheragentleironywasorwasnotinwroughtwiththeirsound,shesweptlightlyroundandlefthimalone。Hesawherformgetsmallerandsmalleralongthedampbeltofsea-sandbetweenebbandflood;andwhenshehadvanishedroundthecliffintotheharbour-road,hehimselffollowedinthesamedirection。 ThatherhopesfromanadvertisementshouldbethesinglethreadwhichheldLucySavileinEnglandwastoomuchforBarnet。OnreachingthetownhewentstraighttotheresidenceofDowne,nowawidowerwithfourchildren。Theyoungmotherlessbroodhadbeensenttobedaboutaquarterofanhourearlier,andwhenBarnetenteredhefoundDownesittingalone。ItwasthesameroomasthatfromwhichthefamilyhadbeenlookingoutforDowneatthebeginningoftheyear,whenDownehadslippedintothegutterandhiswifehadbeensoenviablytendertowardshim。Theoldneatnesshadgonefromthehouse;articleslayinplaceswhichcouldshownoreasonfortheirpresence,asifmomentarilydepositedtheresomemonthsago,andforgotteneversince;therewerenoflowers;thingswerejumbledtogetheronthefurniturewhichshouldhavebeenincupboards;andtheplaceingeneralhadthatstagnant,unrenovatedairwhichusuallypervadesthemaimedhomeofthewidower。 Downesoonrenewedhiscustomaryfull-wordedlamentoverhiswife,andevenwhenhehadworkedhimselfuptotears,wentonvolubly,asifalistenerwerealuxurytobeenjoyedwheneverhecouldbecaught。 ’Shewasatreasurebeyondcompare,Mr。Barnet!Ishallneverseesuchanother。Nobodynowtonurseme——nobodytoconsolemeinthosedailytroubles,youknow,Barnet,whichmakeconsolationsonecessarytoanaturelikemine。Itwouldbeunbecomingtorepine,forherspirit’shomewaselsewhere——thetenderlightinhereyesalwaysshowedit;butitisalongdrearytimethatIhavebeforeme,andnobodyelsecaneverfillthevoidleftinmyheartbyherloss——nobody——nobody!’AndDownewipedhiseyesagain。 ’Shewasagoodwomaninthehighestsense,’gravelyansweredBarnet,who,thoughDowne’swordsdrewgenuinecompassionfromhisheart,couldnothelpfeelingthatatenderreticencewouldhavebeenafinertributetoMrs。Downe’sreallysterlingvirtuesthansuchasecond-classlamentasthis。 ’Ihavesomethingtoshowyou,’Downeresumed,producingfromadrawerasheetofpaperonwhichwasanelaboratedesignforacanopiedtomb。’Thishasbeensentmebythearchitect,butitisnotexactlywhatIwant。’ ’YouhavegotJonestodoit,Isee,themanwhoiscarryingoutmyhouse,’saidBarnet,asheglancedatthesignaturetothedrawing。 ’Yes,butitisnotquitewhatIwant。Iwantsomethingmorestriking——morelikeatombIhaveseeninSt。Paul’sCathedral。 Nothinglesswilldojusticetomyfeelings,andhowfarshortofthemthatwillfall!’