第46章

类别:其他 作者:Thomas Hardy字数:2895更新时间:18/12/27 09:08:44
Thusuncertainlytheweekpassedon;tillonemorningStockdalesaidtoher:’Ihavehadaletter,Lizzy。ImustcallyouthattillI amgone。’ ’Gone?’saidsheblankly。 ’Yes,’hesaid。’Iamgoingfromthisplace。IfeltitwouldbebetterforusboththatIshouldnotstayafterwhathashappened。 Infact,Icouldn’tstayhere,andlookonyoufromdaytoday,withoutbecomingweakandfalteringinmycourse。Ihavejustheardofanarrangementbywhichtheotherministercanarrivehereinaboutaweek;andletmegoelsewhere。’ Thathehadallthistimecontinuedsofirmlyfixedinhisresolutioncameuponherasagrievoussurprise。’Youneverlovedme!’shesaidbitterly。 ’Imightsaythesame,’hereturned;’butIwillnot。Grantmeonefavour。ComeandhearmylastsermononthedaybeforeIgo。’ Lizzy,whowasachurch-goeronSundaymornings,frequentlyattendedStockdale’schapelintheeveningwiththerestofthedouble- minded;andshepromised。 ItbecameknownthatStockdalewasgoingtoleave,andagoodmanypeopleoutsidehisownsectweresorrytohearit。Theinterveningdaysflewrapidlyaway,andontheeveningoftheSundaywhichprecededthemorningofhisdepartureLizzysatinthechapeltohearhimforthelasttime。Thelittlebuildingwasfulltooverflowing,andhetookupthesubjectwhichallhadexpected,thatofthecontrabandtradesoextensivelypractisedamongthem。Hishearers,inlayinghiswordstotheirownhearts,didnotperceivethattheyweremostparticularlydirectedagainstLizzy,tillthesermonwaxedwarm,andStockdalenearlybrokedownwithemotion。Intruthhisownearnestness,andhersadeyeslookingupathim,weretoomuchfortheyoungman’sequanimity。Hehardlyknewhowheended。HesawLizzy,asthroughamist,turnandgoawaywiththerestofthecongregation;andshortlyafterwardsfollowedherhome。 Sheinvitedhimtosupper,andtheysatdownalone,hermotherhaving,aswasusualwithheronSundaynights,gonetobedearly。 ’Wewillpartfriends,won’twe?’saidLizzy,withforcedgaiety,andneveralludingtothesermon:areticencewhichratherdisappointedhim。 ’Wewill,’hesaid,withaforcedsmileonhispart;andtheysatdown。 Itwasthefirstmealthattheyhadeversharedtogetherintheirlives,andprobablythelastthattheywouldsoshare。Whenitwasover,andtheindifferentconversationcouldnolongerbecontinued,hearoseandtookherhand。’Lizzy,’hesaid,’doyousaywemustpart——doyou?’ ’Youdo,’shesaidsolemnly。’Icansaynomore。’ ’NorI,’saidhe。’Ifthatisyouranswer,good-bye!’ Stockdalebentoverherandkissedher,andsheinvoluntarilyreturnedhiskiss。’Ishallgoearly,’hesaidhurriedly。’Ishallnotseeyouagain。’ Andhedidleaveearly。Hefancied,whensteppingforthintothegreymorninglight,tomountthevanwhichwastocarryhimaway,thathesawafacebetweenthepartedcurtainsofLizzy’swindow,butthelightwasfaint,andthepanesglistenedwithwet;sohecouldnotbesure。Stockdalemountedthevehicle,andwasgone;andonthefollowingSundaythenewministerpreachedinthechapeloftheMoyntonWesleyans。 Oneday,twoyearsaftertheparting,Stockdale,nowsettledinamidlandtown,cameintoNether-Moyntonbycarrierintheoriginalway。Joggingalonginthevanthatafternoonhehadputquestionstothedriver,andtheanswersthathereceivedinterestedtheministerdeeply。Theresultofthemwasthathewentwithouttheleasthesitationtothedoorofhisformerlodging。Itwasaboutsixo’clockintheevening,andthesametimeofyearaswhenhehadleft;now,too,thegroundwasdampandglistening,thewestwasbright,andLizzy’ssnowdropswereraisingtheirheadsintheborderunderthewall。 Lizzymusthavecaughtsightofhimfromthewindow,forbythetimethathereachedthedoorshewasthereholdingitopen:andthen,asifshehadnotsufficientlyconsideredheractofcomingout,shedrewherselfback,sayingwithsomeconstraint,’Mr。Stockdale!’ ’Youknewitwas,’saidStockdale,takingherhand。’IwrotetosayIshouldcall。’ ’Yes,butyoudidnotsaywhen,’sheanswered。 ’Ididnot。Iwasnotquitesurewhenmybusinesswouldleadmetotheseparts。’ ’Youonlycamebecausebusinessbroughtyounear?’ ’Well,thatisthefact;butIhaveoftenthoughtIshouldliketocomeonpurposetoseeyou……Butwhat’sallthisthathashappened?Itoldyouhowitwouldbe,Lizzy,andyouwouldnotlistentome。’ ’Iwouldnot,’shesaidsadly。’ButIhadbeenbroughtuptothatlife;anditwassecondnaturetome。However,itisallovernow。 Theofficershaveblood-moneyfortakingamandeadoralive,andthetradeisgoingtonothing。Wewerehunteddownlikerats。’ ’Owlettisquitegone,Ihear。’ ’Yes。HeisinAmerica。Wehadadreadfulstrugglethatlasttime,whentheytriedtotakehim。Itisaperfectmiraclethathelivedthroughit;anditisawonderthatIwasnotkilled。Iwasshotinthehand。Itwasnotbyaim;theshotwasreallymeantformycousin;butIwasbehind,lookingonasusual,andthebulletcametome。Itbledterribly,butIgothomewithoutfainting;andithealedafteratime。Youknowhowhesuffered?’ ’No,’saidStockdale。’Ionlyheardthathejustescapedwithhislife。’ ’Hewasshotintheback;butaribturnedtheball。Hewasbadlyhurt。Wewouldnotlethimbetook。ThemencarriedhimallnightacrossthemeadstoKingsbere,andhidhiminabarn,dressinghiswoundaswellastheycould,tillhewassofarrecoveredastobeabletogetabout。Hehadgieduphismillforsometime;andatlasthegottoBristol,andtookapassagetoAmerica,andhe’ssettledinWisconsin。’ ’Whatdoyouthinkofsmugglingnow?’saidtheministergravely。 ’Iownthatwewerewrong,’saidshe。’ButIhavesufferedforit。 Iamverypoornow,andmymotherhasbeendeadthesetwelvemonths……Butwon’tyoucomein,Mr。Stockdale?’ Stockdalewentin;anditistobesupposedthattheycametoanunderstanding;forafortnightlatertherewasasaleofLizzy’sfurniture,andafterthataweddingatachapelinaneighbouringtown。 Hetookherawayfromheroldhauntstothehomethathehadmadeforhimselfinhisnativecounty,whereshestudiedherdutiesasaminister’swifewithpraiseworthyassiduity。ItissaidthatinafteryearsshewroteanexcellenttractcalledRenderuntoCaesar; or,TheRepentantVillagers,inwhichherownexperiencewasanonymouslyusedastheintroductorystory。Stockdalegotitprinted,aftermakingsomecorrections,andputtinginafewpowerfulsentencesofhisown;andmanyhundredsofcopiesweredistributedbythecoupleinthecourseoftheirmarriedlife。 End