第10章

类别:其他 作者:Eleanor H。 Porter字数:5237更新时间:18/12/27 14:59:51
ItwasBilly’sturntochange。Alltheangermeltedawaybeforethedismayedtendernessinthosedeareyesandthegrievedhurtinthatdearvoice。 Well,you——you——I——’Billybegantocry。 Itwasallrightthen,ofcourse,forthenextminuteshewascryingonBertram’sbig,broadshoulder;andinthemidstofbrokenwords,kisses,gentlepats,andinarticulatecroonings,theBig,BadQuarrel,thathadbeenallreadytomaterialize,fadedquiteawayintonothingness。 Ididn’thavesuchanawfullygoodtime,anyhow,avowedBertram,whenspeechbecamerational。I’dratherhavebeenhomewithyou。’ Nonsense!’blinkedBilly,valiantly。Ofcourseyouhadagoodtime;anditwasperfectlyrightyoushouldhaveit,too!AndI——Ihopeyou’llhaveitagain。’ Isha’n’t,’emphasizedBertram,promptly,——notandleaveyou!’ Billyregardedhimwithadoringeyes。 I’lltellyou;we’llhave’emcomehere,’sheproposedgayly。 Surewewill,’agreedBertram。 Yes;surewewill,’echoedBilly,withacontentedsigh。Then,alittlebreathlessly,sheadded:Anyhow,I’llknow——whereyouare。 Iwon’tthinkyou’re——dead!’ You——blessed——little-goose!’scoldedBertram,punctuatingeachwordwithakiss。 Billydrewalongsigh。 IfthisisaquarrelI’mgoingtohavethemoften,’sheannouncedplacidly。 Billy!’Theyounghusbandwasplainlyaghast。 Well,Iam——becauseIlikethemaking-up,dimpledBilly,withamischievoustwinkleasshebrokefromhisclaspandskippedaheadupthestairway。 Thenextmorning,undertheuncompromisingchallengeofabrightsun,Billybegantobeuneasilysuspiciousthatshehadbeenjustabitunreasonableandexactingthenightbefore。Tomakemattersworseshechancedtorunacrossanewspapercriticismofanewbookbearingtheominoustitle:WhentheHoneymoonWanesATalktoYoungWives。’ Suchatitle,ofcourse,attractedhersupersensitiveattentionatonce;and,withacuriouslyfaintfeeling,shepickedupthepaperandbegantoread。 Asthemostofthecriticismwastakenupwithquotationsfromthebook,itwassuchsentencesasthesethatmetherstartledeyes: Perhapsthefirsttestcomeswhentheyoungwifeawakestotherealizationthatwhileherhusbandlovesherverymuch,hecanstillmakeplanswithhisoldfriendswhichdonotincludeherself……Theniswhenthefoolishwifeletsherhusbandseehowhurtsheisthathecanwanttobewithanyonebutherself……Theniswhenthehusband——usedallhislifetoindependence,perhaps——beginstochafeunderthesenewbondsthatholdhimsofast……Nomanlikestobeheldupattheendofathreatenedsceneandmadetogiveanaccountofhimself……Beforeawomanhaslearnedtocultivateacomfortableindifferencetoherhusband’scomingsandgoings,sheisapttobetyrannicalandexacting。’ `Comfortableindifference,’indeed!’stormedBillytoherself。AsifIevercouldbecomfortablyindifferenttoanythingBertramdid!’ Shedroppedthepaper;buttherewerestillotherquotationsfromthebookthere,sheknew; andinamomentshewasbackatthetablereadingthem。 Noman,howeverfondlyheloveshiswife,likestofeelthatsheiseverlastinglypeeringintotherecessesofhismind,andweighinghiseveryacttofindoutifhedoesordoesnotloveherto- dayaswellashedidyesterdayatthistime…… Then,whenspontaneityisdead,sheisthechiefmourneratitsfuneral……AfewcouplesneverleavetheGardenofEden。Theygrowoldhandinhand。Theyaretheoneswhobearandforbear; whohavelearnedtoadjustthemselvestotheintimaterelationshipoflivingtogether…… Acertainamountofliberty,bothofactionandthought,mustbeallowedoneachside……Thefamilyshutinuponitselfgrowssonarrowthatallinterestintheoutsideworldislost……Notwopeopleareeverfittedtofilleachother’slivesentirely。Theyoughtnottotrytodoit。 Iftheydotry,theprocessisbelittlingtoeach,andtheresult,ifitissuccessful,isnothinglessthanatragedy;foritcouldnotmeanthehighestideals,northetruestdevotion……Brushingupagainstotherinterestsandotherpersonalitiesisgoodforbothhusbandandwife。Thentoeachothertheybringthebestofwhattheyhavefound,andeachtotheothercontinuestobenewandinteresting……Theyoungwife,however,isapttobejealousofeverythingthatturnsherhusband’sattentionforonemomentawayfromherself。Sheisjealousofhisthoughts,hiswords,hisfriends,evenhisbusiness……Butthewifewhohaslearnedtobetheclingingvinewhenherhusbandwisheshertocling,andtobethesturdyoakwhenclingingvineswouldbetiresome,hassolvedatremendousproblem。’ AtthispointBillydroppedthepaper。Sheflungitdown,indeed,abitangrily。Therewerestillafewmorewordsinthecriticism,mostlythecritic’sownopinionofthebook;butBillydidnotcareforthis。Shehadreadquiteenough—— boomuch,infact。Allthatsortoftalkmightbeverywell,evennecessary,perhaps(shetoldherself),forordinaryhusbandsandwives!butforherandBertram—— Thenvividlybeforeherrosethoseinitialquotedwords: Perhapsthefirsttestcomeswhentheyoungwifeawakestotherealizationthatwhileherhusbandlovesherverymuch,hecanstillmakeplanswithhisoldfriendswhichdonotincludeherself。’ Billyfrowned,andputherfingertoherlips。 Wasthatthen,lastnight,atest’?Hadshebeentyrannicalandexacting’?Wassheeverlastinglypeeringintotherecesses’ofBertram’smindandweighinghiseveryact’? WasBertramalreadybeginningtochafe’ underthesenewbondsthatheldhim? No,no,neverthat!Shecouldnotbelievethat。 Butwhatifheshouldsometimebegintochafe? Whatiftheytwoshould,indaystocome,degenerateintojusttheordinary,everydaymarriedfolk,whomshesawabouthereverywhere,andforwhomjustsuchhorridbooksasthismustbewritten?Itwasunbelievable,unthinkable。Andyet,thatmanhadsaid—— WithadespairingsighBillypickedupthepaperoncemoreandreadcarefullyeverywordagain。 Whenshehadfinishedshestoodsoberlythoughtful,hereyesoutofthewindow。 Afterall,itwasnothingbutthesameoldstory。 Shewasexacting。Shedidwantherhusband’severythought。She_gloried_inpeeringintoeverylastrecessofhismindifshehadhalfachance。 Shewasjealousofhiswork。Shehadalmosthatedhispainting——attimes。Shehadheldhimupwithathreatenedsceneonlythenightbeforeanddemandedthatheshouldgiveanaccountofhimself。Shehad,verylikely,beentheclingingvinewhensheshouldhavebeenthesturdyoak。 Verywell,then。(Billyliftedherheadandthrewbackhershoulders。)Heshouldhavenofurthercauseforcomplaint。Shewouldbeanoak。Shewouldcultivatethatcomfortableindifferencetohiscomingsandgoings。Shewouldbrushupagainstotherinterestsandpersonalitiessoastobenew’andinteresting’toherhusband。Shewouldnotbetyrannical,exacting,orjealous。Shewouldnotthreatenscenes,norpeerintorecesses。Whateverhappened,shewouldnotletBertrambegintochafeagainstthosebonds! Havingarrivedatthisheroicand(toher) eminentlysatisfactorystateofmind,Billyturnedfromthewindowandfelltoworkonapieceofmanuscriptmusic。 `Brushupagainstotherinterests,’’sheadmonishedherselfsternly,asshereachedforherpen。 Theoreticallyitwasbeautiful;butpractically—— Billybeganatoncetobethatoak。NotanhouraftershehadfirstseenthefatefulnoticeofWhentheHoneymoonWanes,’Bertram’sringsoundedatthedoordown-stairs。 Bertramalwayslethimselfinwithhislatchkey; but,fromthefirstofBilly’sbeingthere,hehadgivenapeculiarringatthebellwhichwouldbringhiswifeflyingtowelcomehimifshewereanywhereinthehouse。To-day,whenthebellsounded,Billysprangasusualtoherfeet,withajoyousThere’sBertram!’Butthenextmomentshefellback。 Tut,tut,BillyNeilsonHenshaw!Learntocultivateacomfortableindifferencetoyourhusband’scomingsandgoings,’shewhisperedfiercely。Thenshesatdownandfelltoworkagain。 Amomentlatersheheardherhusband’svoicetalkingtosomeone——Pete,shesurmised。Here? Yousayshe’shere?’ThensheheardBertram’squicksteponthestairs。Thenextminute,veryquietly,hecametoherdoor。 Ho!’heejaculatedgayly,assherosetoreceivehiskiss。IthoughtI’dfindyouasleep,whenyoudidn’thearmyring。’ Billyreddenedalittle。 Oh,no,Iwasn’tasleep。’ Butyoudidn’thear——’Bertramstoppedabruptly,anoddlookinhiseyes。Maybeyoudidhearit,though,’hecorrected。 Billycoloredmoreconfusedly。ThefactthatshelookedsodistresseddidnottendtoclearBertram’sface。 Why,ofcourse,Billy,Ididn’tmeantoinsistonyourcomingtomeetme,’hebeganalittlestiffly;butBillyinterruptedhim。 Why,Bertram,Ijustlovetogotomeetyou,’ shemaintainedindignantly。Then,rememberingjustintime,sheamended:Thatis,Ididlovetomeetyou,until——’Withasuddenrealizationthatshecertainlyhadnothelpedmattersany,shecametoanembarrassedpause。 ApuzzledfrownshowedonBertram’sface。 Youdidlovetomeetmeuntil——’herepeatedafterher;thenhisfacechanged。Billy,youaren’t——you_can’t_belayinguplastnightagainstme!’hereproachedheralittleirritably。 Lastnight?Why,ofcoursenot,’retortedBilly,inapanicatthebarementionofthetest’which——accordingtoWhentheHoneymoonWanes’——wasattherootofallhermisery。 AlreadyshethoughtshedetectedinBertram’svoicesignsthathewasbeginningtochafeagainstthosebonds。’Itisamatterof—— oftheutmostindifferencetomewhattimeyoucomehomeatnight,mydear,’shefinishedairily,asshesatdowntoherworkagain。 Bertramstared;thenhefrowned,turnedonhisheelandlefttheroom。Bertram,whoknewnothingoftheTalktoYoungWives’inthenewspaperatBilly’sfeet,wassurprised,puzzled,andjustabitangry。 Billy,leftalone,jabbedherpenwithsuchforceagainstherpaperthatthenoteshewasmakingbecameanunsightlyblot。 Well,ifthisiswhatthatmancallsbeing`comfortablyindifferent,’I’dhatetotrythe_un_comfortablekind,’shemutteredwithemphasis。 CHAPTERIX THEDINNERBILLYTRIEDTOGET NotwithstandingwhatBillywasdisposedtoregardasthenon-successofherfirstattempttoprofitbytheTalktoYoungWives;’shestillfranticallytriedtoavertthewaningofherhoneymoon。 Assiduouslyshecultivatedtheprescribedindifference,’andwithatleastapparententhusiasmshesoughtthemuch-to-be-desiredoutsideinterests。’Thatis,shedidallthiswhenshethoughtofitwhensomethingremindedheroftheswordofdestructionhangingoverherhappiness。Atothertimes,whenshewasjustbeinghappywithoutquestion,shewasheroldselfimpulsive,affectionate,andaltogetheradorable。 Naturally,underthesecircumstances,herconductwassomewhaterratic。Forthreedays,perhaps,shewouldflytothedooratherhusband’sring,andhanguponhiseverymovement。Then,forthenextthree,shewouldbeaveritablewill-o’- the-wispforelusiveness,caring,apparently,notonewhitwhetherherhusbandcameorwentuntilpoorBertram,athiswit’send,scourgedhimselfwithamercilesscatechismastowhathehaddonetovexher。Then,perhaps,justwhenhehadnervedhimselfalmosttothepointofaskingherwhatwasthetrouble,therewouldcomeanotherchange,bringingbacktohimtheoldBilly,joyous,winsome,anddevoted,plainlycaringnothingforanybodyoranythingbuthimself。Scarcely,however,wouldhebecomesurethatitwashisBillybackagainbeforeshewasoffoncemore,quitebeyondhisreach,singingwithArkwrightandAliceGreggory,playingwithTommyDunn,plungingintosomecluborchurchwork——anythingbutbeingwithhim。 ThatallthiswaspuzzlinganddisquietingtoBertram,Billynotoncesuspected。Billy,sofarasshewasconcerned,wasbutcultivatingacomfortableindifference,brushingupagainstoutsideinterests,andbeinganoak。 Decemberpassed,andJanuarycame,bringingMissMargueriteWinthroptoherBostonhome。