第34章

类别:其他 作者:Eleanor H。 Porter字数:5360更新时间:18/12/27 14:59:51
Bertramwasnotquitehimselfthatnight。Billyadmittedthem。Shehadplainlybeenwatchingandwaiting。Arkwrightneverforgotthelookonherfaceashereyesmethis。Therewasacuriousmixtureofterror,hurtpride,relief,andshame,overtoppedbyafierceloyaltywhichalmostseemedtosayaloudthewords:Don’tyoudaretoblamehim!’ Arkwright’sheartachedwithsympathyandadmirationattheproudlycourageouswayinwhichBillycarriedoffthenextfewpainfulminutes。Evenwhenhebadehergoodnightalittlelater,onlyhereyessaidthankyou。’Herlipsweredumb。 ArkwrightoftenwenthomewithBertramafterthat。Notthatitwasalwaysnecessary—— farfromit。Sometime,indeed,elapsedbeforehehadquitethesameexcuseagainforhispresence。 ButhehadfoundthatoccasionallyhecouldgetBertramhomeearlierbyadroitsuggestionsofonekindoranother;andmoreandmorefrequentlyhewassucceedingingettinghimhomeforagameofchess。 Bertramlikedchess,andwasafineplayer。 Sincebreakinghisarmhehadturnedtogameswiththefeverisheagernessofonewholooksforsomethingabsorbingtofillanunrestfulmind。 ItwasSeaver’sskillinchessthathadatfirstattractedBertramtothemanlongago;butBertramcouldbeathimeasily——tooeasilyformuchpleasureinitnow。Sotheydidnotplaychessoftenthesedays。Bertramhadfoundthat,inspiteofhisinjury,hecouldstilltakepartinothergames,andsomeofthem,ifnotsointricateaschess,wereatleastmoreapttotakehismindoffhimself,especiallyiftherewereabitofmoneyuptoaddzestandinterest。 Asithappened,however,BertramlearnedonedaythatArkwrightcouldplaychess——andplaywell,too,ashediscoveredaftertheirfirstgametogether。ThisfactcontributednotalittletosuchsuccessasArkwrightwashavinginhiseffortstoweanBertramfromhisundesirablecompanions;forBertramsoonfoundoutthatArkwrightwasmorethanamatchforhimself,andtheoccasionalgameshedidsucceedinwinningonlywhettedhisappetiteformore。 Manyaneveningnow,therefore,wasspentbythetwomeninBertram’sden,withBillyanxiouslyhoveringnear,hereyeslonginglywatchingeitherherhusband’sabsorbedfaceortheprettylittleredandwhiteivoryfigures,whichseemedtopossesssowonderfulapowertoholdhisattention。Inspiteofherjoyatthechessmen’sefficacyinkeepingBertramathome,however,shewasalmostjealousofthem。 Mr。Arkwright,couldn’tyoushow_me_howtoplay,sometime?’shesaidwistfully,oneevening,whenthemomentaryabsenceofBertramhadleftthetwoalonetogether。IusedtowatchBertramandMarieplayyearsago;butIneverknewhowtoplaymyself。NotthatI canseewherethefunisinjustsittingstaringatachessboardforhalfanhouratatime,though! ButBertramlikesit,andsoI——Iwanttolearntostarewithhim。Willyouteachme?’ Ishouldbegladto,’smiledArkwright。 Thenwillyoucome,maybe,sometimeswhenBertramisatthedoctor’s?HegoeseveryTuesdayandFridayatthreeo’clockfortreatment。 I’dratheryoucamethenfortworeasons: first,becauseIdon’twantBertramtoknowI’mlearning,tillIcanplay_some_;and,secondly,because——becauseIdon’twanttotakeyouaway——fromhim。’ Thelastwordswerespokenverylow,andwereaccompaniedbyapainfulblush。ItwasthefirsttimeBillyhadeverhintedtoArkwright,inwords,thatsheunderstoodwhathewastryingtodo。 I’llcomenextTuesday,’promisedArkwright,withacheerfullyunobservantair。ThenBertramcamein,bringingthebookofChessProblems,forwhichhehadgoneup-stairs。 Promptlyatthreeo’clockTuesdayafternoonArkwrightappearedattheStrata,andforthenexthourBillydidherbesttolearnthenamesandthemovesoftheprettylittleivorymen。 Butattheendofthehourshewasalmostreadytogiveupindespair。 Ifthereweren’tsomanykinds,andiftheydidn’tallinsistondoingsomethingdifferent,itwouldn’tbesobad,’shesighed。Buthowcanyoubeexpectedtorememberwhichgoesdiagonal,andwhichcrisscross,andwhichcan’tgobutonesquare,andwhichcanskip’wayacrosstheboard,’speciallywhenthatlittlepawn-thingcangostraightahead_two_squaressometimes,andthenextminuteonlyone(exceptwhenittakesthings,andthenitgoescrookedonesquare) andwhenthattiresomelittlehorsetriestogoallwaysatonce,andcanjump’roundandhurdleover_anybody’s_head,eventheking’s——howcanyouexpectfolkstoremember?But,then,Bertramremembers,’sheadded,resolutely,soI guessIcan。’ Wheneverpossible,afterthat,ArkwrightcameonTuesdaysandFridays,and,inspiteofherdoubts,Billydidverysoonbegintoremember。’ SpurredbyhergreatdesiretoplaywithBertramandsurprisehim,Billysparednopainstolearnwellherlessons。Evenamongthebaby’sbooksandplaythingsthesedaysmightbefoundaManualofChess,’forBillypursuedherstudyatallhours;andsomenightsevenherdreamswereofruined,castleswherekingsandqueensandbishopsdisportedthemselves,withpawnsforservants,andwhereaweirdknightonhorsebackusedthecastle’shighesttowerforahurdle,landingalwaysahundredyardstoonesideofwherehewouldbeexpectedtocomedown。 Itwasnotlong,ofcourse,beforeBillycouldplayagameofchess,afterafashion,butsheknewjustenoughtorealizethatsheactuallyknewnothing;andsheknew,too,thatuntilshecouldplayareallygoodgame,hermoveswouldnotholdBertram’sattentionforoneminute。 Notatpresent,therefore,wasshewillingBertramshouldknowwhatshewasattemptingtodo。 BillyhadnotyetlearnedwhatthegreatsurgeonhadsaidtoBertram。Sheknewonlythathisarmwasnobetter,andthathenevervoluntarilyspokeofhispainting。Overhernowseemedtobehangingavaguehorror。Somethingwasthematter。Sheknewthat。Butwhatitwasshecouldnotfathom。SherealizedthatArkwrightwastryingtohelp,andhergratitude,thoughsilent,knewnobounds。NoteventoAuntHannahorUncleWilliamcouldshespeakofthisthingthatwastroublingher。Thatthey,too,understood,inameasure,sherealized。Butstillshesaidnoword。Billywaswearingaproudlittleairofaloofnessthesedaysthatwasheart- breakingtothosewhosawitandreaditarightforwhatitwas:loyaltytoBertram,nomatterwhathappened。AndsoBillyporedoverherchessboardfeverishly,tirelessly,havingeverbeforeherlongingeyesthedeartimewhenBertram,acrossthetablefromher,shouldsithappilystaringforhalfanhouratamoveshehadmade。 WhateverBilly’schess-playingwastosignify,however,inherownlife,itwasdestinedtoplayapartinthelivesoftwofriendsofhersthatwasmostunexpected。 DuringBilly’sveryfirstlesson,asitchanced,AliceGreggorycalledandfoundBillyandArkwrightsoabsorbedintheirgamethattheydidnotatfirsthearElizaspeakhername。 ThequickcolorthatflewtoArkwright’sfaceatsightofherselfwasconstruedatoncebyAliceasembarrassmentonhispartatbeingfoundtte--ttewithBertramHenshaw’swife。Andshedidnotlikeit。Shewasnotpleasedthathewasthere。Shewaslesspleasedthatheblushedforbeingthere。 ItsohappenedthatAlicefoundhimthereagainseveraltimes。Alicegaveapianolessonattwoo’clockeveryTuesdayandFridayafternoontoalittleBeaconStreetneighborofBilly’s,andshehadfallenintothehabitofsteppingintoseeBillyforafewminutesafterward,whichbroughtherthereatalittlepastthree,justafterthechesslessonwaswellstarted。 If,thefirsttimethatAliceGreggoryfoundArkwrightoppositeBillyatthechess-table,shewassurprisedanddispleased,thesecondandthirdtimesshewasmuchmoreso。Whenitfinallycametoheronedaywithsickeningillumination,thatalwaysthette--tteswereduringBertram’shouratthedoctor’s,shewasappalled。 Whatcoulditmean?HadArkwrightgivenuphisfight?WasheplayingfalsetohimselfandtoBertrambytryingthus,onthesly,towintheloveofhisfriend’swife?Wasthisman,whomshehadsoadmiredforhisbravestand,andtowhomallunaskedshehadgivenherheart’sbestlove(morethepityofit!)——wasthisidolofherstoshowfeetofclay,afterall?Shecouldnotbelieveit。Andyet—— Sickatheart,butimbuedwiththedeterminationofarighteouscause,AliceGreggoryresolved,forBilly’ssake,towatchandwait。Ifnecessarysheshouldspeaktosomeone——thoughtowhomshedidnotknow。Billy’shappinessshouldnotbeputinjeopardyifshecouldhelpit。 Indeed,no! Astheweekspassed,Alicecametobemoreandmoreuneasy,distressed,andgrieved。OfBillyshecouldbelievenoevil;butofArkwrightshewasbeginningtothinkshecouldbelieveeverythingthatwasdishonorableanddespicable。 Andtobelievethatofthemanshestillloved—— nowonderthatAlicedidnotlooknoractlikeherselfthesedays。 Incensedatherselfbecauseshedidlovehim,angryathimbecauseheseemedtobeprovinghimselfsounworthyofthatlove,andgenuinelyfrightenedatwhatshethoughtwasthefast- approachingwreckofallhappinessforherdearfriend,Billy,Alicedidnotknowwhichwaytoturn。Atthefirstshehadtoldherselfconfidentlythatshewouldspeaktosomebody。’But,astimepassed,shesawtheimpracticabilityofthatidea。Speaktosomebody,indeed!Towhom? When?Where?Whatshouldshesay?Wherewasherrighttosayanything?Shewasnotdealingwithaparcelofnaughtychildrenwhohadpilferedthecakejar!Shewasdealingwithgrownmenandwomen,who,presumedly,knewtheirownaffairs,andwho,certainly,wouldresentanyinterferencefromher。Ontheotherhand,couldshestandcalmlybyandseeBertramlosehiswife,Arkwrighthishonor,Billyherhappiness,andherselfherfaithinhumannature,allbecausetodootherwisewouldbetomeddleinotherpeople’sbusiness?Apparentlyshecould,andshould。Atleastthatseemedtobetherlewhichshewasexpectedtoplay。 ItwaswhenAlicehadreachedthisunhappyframeofmindthatArkwrighthimselfunexpectedlyopenedthedoorforher。 ThetwowerealonetogetherinBertramHenshaw’sden。ItwasTuesdayafternoon。AlicehadcalledtofindBillyandArkwrightdeepintheirusualgameofchess。ThenamatterofdomesticaffairshadtakenBillyfromtheroom。 I’mafraidI’llhavetobegonetenminutes,ormore,’shehadsaid,assherosefromthetablereluctantly。ButyoumightbeshowingAlicethemoves,Mr。Arkwright,’shehadadded,withalaugh,asshedisappeared。 ShallIteachyouthemoves?’hehadsmiled,whentheywerealonetogether。 Alice’sreplyhadbeensoindignantlyshortandsharpthatArkwright,afteramoment’spause,hadsaid,withawhimsicalsmilethatyetcarriedatouchofsadness: Iamforcedtosurmisefromyouranswerthatyouthinkitis_you_whoshouldbeteaching_me_moves。Atallevents,Iseemtohavebeenmakingsomemoveslatelythathavenotsuitedyou,judgingbyyouractions。HaveIoffendedyouinanyway,Alice?’ Thegirlturnedwithaquickliftingofherhead。 Aliceknewthatifeversheweretospeak,itmustbenow。Neveragaincouldshehopeforsuchanopportunityasthis。Suddenlythrowingcircumspectcautionquiteaside,shedeterminedthatshewouldspeak。SpringingtoherfeetshecrossedtheroomandseatedherselfinBilly’schairatthechess-table。 Me!Offendme!’sheexclaimed,inalowvoice。AsifIweretheoneyouwereoffending!’ Why,_Alice!_’murmuredtheman,inobviousstupefaction。 Aliceraisedherhand,palmoutward。 Nowdon’t,_please_don’tpretendyoudon’tknow,’shebegged,almostpiteously。Pleasedon’taddthattoalltherest。Oh,Iunderstand,ofcourse,it’snoneofmyaffairs,andIwasn’tgoingtospeak,’shechoked;but,to-day,whenyougavemethischance,Ihadto。AtfirstI couldn’tbelieveit,’sheplungedon,plainlyhurryingagainstBilly’sreturn。Afterallyou’dtoldmeofhowyoumeanttofightit——yourtigerskin。AndIthoughtitmerely_happened_ thatyouwereherealonewithherthosedaysI came。Then,whenIfoundouttheywere_always_ thedaysMr。Henshawwasawayatthedoctor’s,Ihadtobelieve。’ Shestoppedforbreath。Arkwright,who,uptothismomenthadshownthathewascompletelymystifiedastowhatshewastalkingabout,suddenlyflushedapainfulred。Hewasobviouslyabouttospeak,butshepreventedhimwithaquickgesture。