第4章

类别:其他 作者:Eleanor H. Porter字数:20817更新时间:19/01/02 08:15:40
\"AndnowI’mreadytoseemyfriends,\"sheannounced. \"AndIthinkyourfriendswillbereadytoseeyou,\"Bertramassuredher. Andtheywere——atleast,soitappeared.ForatoncethelittlehouseperchedonthehillsidebecametheMeccaformanyoftheHenshaws’friendswhohadknownBillyasWilliam’smerry,eighteen— year—oldnamesake.Therewereothers,too,whomBillyhadmetabroad;andthereweresoft—stepping,sweet—facedoldwomenandanoccasionalwhite—whiskeredoldman——AuntHannah’sfriends——whofoundthattheyoungmistressofHillsidewasacharminghostess. TherewerealsotheHenshaw\"boys,\"andtherewasalwaysCalderwell——atleast,soBertramdeclaredtohimselfsometimes. Bertramcamefrequentlytothelittlehouseonthehill,evenmorefrequentlythanWilliam;butCyrilwasnotseentheresooften.Hecameonceatfirst,itistrue,andfollowedBillyfromroomtoroomassheproudlydisplayedhernewhome.Heshowedpoliteinterestinherview,andaperfunctoryenjoymentoftheteashepreparedforhim.Buthedidnotcomeagainforsometime,andwhenhedidcome,hesatstifflysilent,whilehisbrothersdidmostofthetalking. AstoCalderwell——Calderwellseemedsuddenlytohavelosthisinterestinimpenetrableforestsandunclimbablemountains. NothingmoreintricatethanthelongBeaconStreetboulevard,ormoreinaccessiblethanCoreyHillseemedworthexploring,apparently.AccordingtoCalderwell’sownversionofit,hehad\"settleddown\";hewasgoingto\"besomethingthatwassomething.\" AndhedidspendsundryofhismorninghoursinaBostonlawofficewithponderous,calf—boundvolumesspreadinimposingarrayonthedeskbeforehim.Otherhours——manyhours——hespentwithBilly. Oneday,verysoon,infact,aftershearrivedinBoston,BillyaskedCalderwellabouttheHenshaws. \"Tellmeaboutthem,\"shesaid.\"Tellmewhattheyhavebeendoingalltheseyears.\" \"Tellyouaboutthem!Why,don’tyouknow?\" Sheshookherhead. \"No.Cyrilsaysnothing.Williamlittlemore——aboutthemselves; andyouknowwhatBertramis.Onecanhardlyseparatesensefromnonsensewithhim.\" \"Youdon’tknow,then,howsplendidlyBertramhasdonewithhisart?\" \"No;onlyfromthemostcasualhearsay.Hashedonewellthen?\" \"Finely!Thepublichasbeenhisforyears,andnowthecriticsaretumblingovereachothertodohimhonor.Theyraveabouthis’sensitive,brilliant,nervoustouch,’——whateverthatmaybe;his’marvelouscolorsense’;his’beautyoflineandpose.’Andtheyquarreloverwhetherit’srealismoridealismthatconstituteshischarm.\" \"I’msoglad!Andisitstillthe’FaceofaGirl’?\" \"Yes;onlyhe’sdoingstraightportraiturenowaswell.It’sgottobequitethethingtobe’done’byHenshaw;andthere’smanyafairladythathasgraciouslycommissionedhimtopaintherportrait.He’safinefellow,too——amightyfinefellow.Youmaynotknow,perhaps,butthreeorfouryearsagohewas——well,notwild,but’frolicsome,’hewouldprobablyhavecalledit.Hegotinwithalotoffellowsthat——well,thatweren’tgoodforachapofBertram’stemperament.\" \"Like——Mr.Seaver?\" Calderwellturnedsharply. \"DidYOUknowSeaver?\"hedemandedinobvioussurprise. \"IusedtoSEEhim——withBertram.\" \"Oh!Well,heWASoneofthem,unfortunately.ButBertramshippedhimyearsago.\" Billygaveasuddenradiantsmile——butshechangedthesubjectatonce. \"AndMr.Williamstillcollects,Isuppose,\"sheobserved. \"Jove!Ishouldsayhedid!I’veforgottenthelatest;buthe’safinefellow,too,likeBertram.\" \"And——Mr.Cyril?\" Calderwellfrowned. \"Thatchap’saposerforme,Billy,andnomistake.Ican’tmakehimout!\" \"What’sthematter?\" \"Idon’tknow.ProbablyI’mnot’tunedtohispitch.’BertramtoldmeoncethatCyrilwasverysensitivelystrung,andneverrespondeduntilacertainnotewasstruck.Well,Ihaven’teverfoundthatnote,Ireckon.\" Billylaughed. \"IneverheardBertramsaythat,butIthinkIknowwhathemeans; andhe’sright,too.IbegintorealizenowwhatajanglingdiscordImusthavecreatedwhenItriedtoharmonizewithhimthreeyearsago!Butwhatishedoinginhismusic?\" Theothershruggedhisshoulders. \"Samething.Playsoccasionally,andplayswell,too;buthe’ssoerraticit’sdifficulttogethimtodoit.Everythingmustbejustso,youknow——air,light,piano,andaudience.He’sgotanotherbookout,I’mtold——aprofoundtreatiseonsomebody’ssomethingorother——musical,ofcourse.\" \"Andheusedtowritemusic;doesn’thedothatanymore?\" \"Ibelieveso.Ihearofitoccasionallythroughmusicalfriendsofmine.Theyevenplayittomesometimes.ButIcan’tstandformuchofit——hisstuff——really,Billy.\" \"’Stuff’indeed!Andwhynot?\"AnoddhostilityshowedinBilly’seyes. AgainCalderwellshruggedhisshoulders. \"Don’taskme.Idon’tknow.Butthey’realwaysdeadslow,somberthings,withthewailofalostspiritshriekingthroughthem.\" \"ButIjustlovelostspiritsthatwail,\"avowedBilly,withmorethanashadeofreproachinhervoice. Calderwellstared;thenheshookhishead. \"Notinmine,thankyou;\"heretortedwhimsically.\"Iprefermyspiritsofamoresaneandcheerfulsort.\" Thegirllaughed,butalmostinstantlyshefellsilent. \"I’vebeenwondering,\"shebeganmusingly,afteratime,\"whysomeoneofthosethreemendoesnot——marry.\" \"Youwouldn’twonder——ifyouknewthembetter,\"declaredCalderwell. \"Nowthink.Let’sbeginatthetopoftheStrata——bytheway,Bertram’snameforthatestablishmentismightyclever!First,Cyril:accordingtoBertramCyrilhates’allkindsofwomenandotherconfusion’;andIfancyBertramhitsitaboutright.SothatsettlesCyril.Thenthere’sWilliam——youknowWilliam.AnygirlwouldsayWilliamwasadear;butWilliamisn’taMARRYINGman.Dadsays,\"——Calderwell’svoicesoftenedalittle——\"dadsaysthatWilliamandhisyoungwifewerethemostdevotedcouplethatheeversaw; andthatwhenshediedsheseemedtotakewithherthewholeofWilliam’sheart——thatis,whathadn’tgonewiththebabyafewyearsbefore.Therewasaboy,youknow,thatdied.\" \"Yes,Iknow,\"noddedBilly,quicktearsinhereyes.\"AuntHannahtoldme.\" \"Well,thatcountsoutWilliam,then,\"saidCalderwell,withanairoffinality. \"ButhowaboutBertram?Youhaven’tsettledBertram,\"laughedBilly,archly. \"Bertram!\"Calderwell’seyeswidened.\"Billy,canyouimagineBertram’smakingloveinrealearnesttoagirl?\" \"Why,I——don’t——know;maybe!\"Billytippedherheadfromsidetosideasifshewereviewingapicturesetupforherinspection. \"Well,Ican’t.Inthefirstplace,nogirlwouldthinkhewasserious;orifbyanychanceshedid,she’dsoondiscoverthatitwastheturnofherheadorthetiltofherchinthatheadmired—— TOPAINT.Nowisn’tthatso?\" Billylaughed,butshedidnotanswer. \"Itis,andyouknowit,\"declaredCalderwell.\"Andthatsettleshim.Nowyoucansee,perhaps,whynoneofthesemen——willmarry.\" ItwasalongminutebeforeBillyspoke. \"Notabitofit.Idon’tseeitatall,\"shedeclaredwithroguishmerriment.\"Moreover,Ithinkthatsomeday,someoneofthem——willmarry,SirDoubtful!\" Calderwellthrewaquickglanceintohereyes.Evidentlysomethinghesawtheresentaswiftshadowtohisown.Hewaitedamoment,thenaskedabruptly: \"Billy,WON’Tyoumarryme?\" Billyfrowned,thoughhereyesstilllaughed. \"Hugh,Itoldyounottoaskmethatagain,\"shedemurred. \"AndItoldyounottoaskimpossibilitiesofme,\"heretortedimperturbably.\"Billy,won’tyou,now——seriously?\" \"Seriously,no,Hugh.Pleasedon’tletusgoalloverthatagainwhenwe’vedoneitsomanytimes.\" \"No,let’sdon’t,\"agreedtheman,cheerfully.\"Andwedon’thaveto,either,ifyou’llonlysay’yes,’nowrightaway,withoutanymorefuss.\" Billysighedimpatiently. \"Hugh,won’tyouunderstandthatI’mserious?\"shecried;thensheturnedsuddenly,withapeculiarflashinhereyes. \"Hugh,Idon’tbelieveBertramhimselfcouldmakeloveanymorenonsensicallythanyoucan!\" Calderwelllaughed,buthefrowned,too;andagainhethrewintoBilly’sfacethatkeenlyquestioningglance.Hesaidsomething——alightsomething——thatbroughtthelaughtoBilly’slipsinspiteofherself;buthewasstillfrowningwhenheleftthehousesomeminuteslater,andtheshadowwasnotgonefromhiseyes. CHAPTERXXIII BERTRAMDOESSOMEQUESTIONING Billy’stimewaswelloccupied.Thereweresomany,manythingsshewishedtodo,andsofew,fewhoursinwhichtodothem.Firsttherewashermusic.ShemadearrangementsatoncetostudywithoneofBoston’sbestpianoteachers,andshealsomadeplanstocontinueherFrenchandGerman.Shejoinedamusicalclub,aliteraryclub,andamorestrictlysocialclub;andtonumerouschurchcharitiesandphilanthropicenterprisesshelentmorethanhername,givingfreelyofbothtimeandmoney. Fridayafternoons,ofcourse,weretobeheldsacredtotheSymphonyconcerts;andoncertainWednesdaymorningstherewastobeaseriesofrecitals,inwhichshewasgreatlyinterested. ForSocietywithacapitalS,Billycaredlittle;butforsociabilitywithasmalls,shecaredmuch;andverywidesheopenedherdoorstoherfriends,lavishinguponthemawealthofhospitality.Nordidtheyallcomeincarriagesorautomobiles—— thesefriends.Acertainpale—facedlittlewidowoverattheSouthEndknewjusthowgoodMissNeilson’steatastedonacrispOctoberafternoonandMarieHawthorn,afrailyoungwomanwhogavemusiclessons,knewjusthowrestfulwasMissNeilson’scouchafterawearydayoflongwalksandfretfulpupils. \"Buthowintheworlddoyoudiscoverthemall——theseforlornspecimensofhumanity?\"queriedBertramoneevening,whenhehadfoundBillyentertainingafreckled—facedmessenger—boywithaplateoficecreamandabigsquareofcake. \"Anywhere——everywhere,\"smiledBilly. \"Well,thislastcandidateforyourfavor,whohasjustgone——who’she?\" \"Idon’tknow,beyondthathisnameis’Tom,’andthathelikesicecream.\" \"Andyouneversawhimbefore?\" \"Never.\" \"Humph!Onewouldn’tthinkit,toseehischarmingairofnonchalantaccustomedness.\" \"Oh,butitdoesn’ttakemuchtomakealittlefellowlikethatfeelathome,\"laughedBilly. \"Andareyouinthehabitoffeedingeveryonewhocomestoyourhouse,onicecreamandchocolatecake?Ithoughtthatstonedoorstepofyourswaslookingalittleworn.\" \"Notabitofit,\"retortedBilly.\"ThislittlechapcamewithamessagejustasIwasfinishingdinner.Theicecreamwasparticularlygoodto—night,anditoccurredtomethathemightlikeataste;soIgaveittohim.\" Bertramraisedhiseyebrowsquizzically. \"Verykind,ofcourse;but——whyicecream?\"hequestioned.\"I thoughtitwasroastbeefandboiledpotatoesthatwassupposedtobehandedouttogaunt—eyedhunger.\" \"Itis,\"noddedBilly,\"andthat’swhyIthinksometimesthey’dlikeicecreamandchocolatefrosting.Besides,togivesugarplumsonedoesn’thavetounwindyardsofredtape,orworryabout’pauperizingthepoor.’Togiveredflannelsandatonofcoal,onemustbeproperlycircumspectandconsultrecordsandcitymissionaries,ofcourse;andthat’swhyit’ssuchareliefsometimesjusttohandoverasimplelittlesugarplumandseethemsmile.\" ForaminuteBertramwassilent,thenheaskedabruptly: \"Billy,whydidyouleavetheStrata?\" Billywastakenquitebysurprise.Apinkflushspreadtoherforehead,andhertonguestumbledatfirstoverherreply. \"Why,I——itseemed——you——why,IlefttogotoHampdenFalls,tobesure.Don’tyouremember?\"shefinishedgaily. \"Oh,yes,IrememberTHAT,\"concededBertramwithdisdainfulemphasis.\"ButwhydidyougotoHampdenFalls?\" \"Why,it——itwastheonlyplacetogo——thatis,IWANTEDtogothere,\"shecorrectedhastily.\"Didn’tAuntHannahtellyouthatI——Iwashomesicktogetbackthere?\" \"Oh,yes,AuntHannahSAIDthat,\"observedtheman;\"butwasn’tthathomesicknessalittle——sudden?\" Billyblushedpinkagain. \"Why,maybe;but——well,homesicknessisalwaysmoreorlesssudden; isn’tit?\"sheparried. Bertramlaughed,buthiseyesgrewsuddenlyalmosttender. \"Seehere,Billy,youcan’tbluffworthacent,\"hedeclared.\"Youaremuchtoorefreshinglyfrankforthat.Somethingwasthetrouble.Nowwhatwasit?Won’tyoutellme,please?\" Billypouted.Shehesitatedandgazedanywherebutintothechallengingeyesbeforeher.Thenverysuddenlyshelookedstraightintothem. \"Verywell,thereWASareasonformyleaving,\"sheconfessedalittlebreathlessly.\"I——didn’twantto——botheryouanymore——allofyou.\" \"Botherus!\" \"No.Ifoundout.Youcouldn’tpaint;Mr.Cyrilcouldn’tplayorwrite;and——andeverythingwasdifferentbecauseIwasthere.ButIdidn’tblameyou——no,no!\"sheassuredhimhastily.\"ItwasonlythatI——foundout.\" \"AndmayIaskHOWyouobtainedthismostextraordinaryinformation?\" demandedBertram,savagely. Billyshookherhead.Herroundlittlechinlookedsuddenlysquareanddetermined. \"Youmayask,butIshallnottell,\"shedeclaredfirmly. IfBertramhadknownBillyjustalittlebetterhewouldhaveletthematterdropthere;buthedidnotknowBilly,soheasked: \"WasitanythingIdid——orsaid?\" Thegirldidnotanswer. \"Billy,wasit?\"Bertram’svoiceshowedterrornow. Billylaughedunexpectedly. \"DoyouthinkI’mgoingtosay’no’toaseriesofquestions,andthengivethewholethingawaybymysilencewhenyoucometotherightone?\"shedemandedmerrily.\"No,sir!\" \"Well,anyhow,itwasn’tI,then,\"sighedthemaninrelief;\"foryoujustobservedthatyouwerenotgoingtosay’notoaseriesofquestions’——andthatwasthefirstone.SoI’vefoundoutthatmuch,anyhow,\"heconcludedtriumphantly. Thegirleyedhimforamomentinsilence;thensheshookherhead. \"I’mnotgoingtobecaughtthatway,either,\"shesmiled.\"Youknow——justwhatyoudidinthefirstplaceaboutit:nothing.\" Themanstirredrestlesslyandpondered.Afteralongpauseheadoptednewtactics.Withasearchingstudyofherfacetonotetheslightestchange,heenumerated: \"WasitCyril,then?Will?AuntHannah?Kate?Itcouldn’thavebeenPete,orDongLing!\" Billystillsmiledinscrutably.AtnonamehadBertramdetectedsomuchastheflickerofaneyelid;andwithaglancehalf—admiring,half—chagrined,hefellbackintohischair. \"I’llgiveitup.You’vewon,\"heacknowledged.\"But,Billy,\"—— hismannerchangedsuddenly——\"IwonderifyouknowjustwhataholeyouleftintheStratawhenyouwentaway.\" \"ButIcouldn’thave——inthewholeStrata,\"objectedBilly.\"I occupiedonlyonestratum,andastratumdoesn’tgoupanddown,youknow,onlyacross;andminewasthesecondfloor.\" Bertramgaveaslowshakeofhishead. \"Iknow;butyourswasafreakformation,\"hemaintainedgravely. \"ItDIDgoupanddown.Honestly,Billy,wedidcare——lots.WillandIwereinconsolable,andevenCyrilplayeddirgesforaweek.\" \"Didhe?\"gurgledBilly,withsuddenjoyousness.\"I’msoglad!\" \"Thankyou,\"murmuredBertram,disapprovingly.\"Wehadn’tconsidereditasubjectforexultation.\" \"What?Oh,Ididn’tmeanthat!Thatis——\"shestoppedhelplessly. \"Oh,nevermindabouttryingtoexplain,\"interposedBertram.\"I fancytheremedywouldbeworsethanthedisease,inthiscase.\" \"Nonsense!IonlymeantthatIliketobemissed——sometimes,\" retortedBilly,alittlenettled. \"Andyourejoicethentohavememope,Cyrilplaydirges,andWillwandermournfullyaboutthehousewithSpunkieinhisarms!YoushouldhaveseenWilliam.Ifhisforlornnessdidnotbringtearstoyoureyes,thegraceofthepinkbowthatloppedbehindSpunkie’sleftearwouldsurelyhavebroughtacopiousflow.\" Billylaughed,buthereyesgrewtender. \"DidUncleWilliamdo——that?\"sheasked. \"Hedid——andhedidmore.Petetoldmeafteratimethatyouhadnotleftonethinginthehouse,anywhere;butoneday,overbehindWilliam’smosttreasuredLowestoft,Ifoundasmallshellhairpin,andaflatbrownsilkbuttonthatIrecognizedascomingfromoneofyourdresses.\" \"Oh!\"saidBilly,softly.\"DearUncleWilliam——andhowgoodhewastome!\" CHAPTERXXIV CYRIL,THEENIGMA PerhapsitwasbecauseBillysawsolittleofCyrilthatitwasCyrilwhomshewishedparticularlytosee.William,Bertram,Calderwell——allherotherfriendscamefrequentlytothelittlehouseonthehill,Billytoldherself;onlyCyrilheldaloof——anditwasCyrilthatshewanted. Billysaidthatitwashismusic;thatshewantedtohearhimplay,andthatshewantedhimtohearher.Shefeltgrievedandchagrined.Notoncesinceshehadcomehadheseemedinterested—— reallyinterestedinhermusic.Hehadaskedher,itistrue,inaperfunctorywaywhatshehaddone,andwhoherteachershadbeen. Butallthewhileshewasansweringshehadfeltthathewasnotlistening;thathedidnotcare.Andshecaredsomuch!Sheknewnowthatallherpractisingthroughthelonghardmonthsofstudy,hadbeenforCyril.Everyscalehadbeensmoothedforhisears,andeveryphrasehadbeeninterpretedwithhisapprobationinview. Acrossthewidewasteofwatershisfacehadshonelikeastarofpromise,beckoningheronandontoheightsunknownAndnowshewashereinBoston,butshecouldnotevenplaythescale,norinterpretthephrasefortheeartowhichtheyhadbeensolaboriouslyattuned;andCyril’sface,intheflesh,wasnobeckoningstarofpromise,butwasathingascoldandrelentlessaswasthewasteofwatersacrosswhichithadshoneinthepast. Billydidnotunderstandit.Sheknew,itistrue,ofCyril’sreputedaversiontowomeningeneralandtonoise;butshewasneitherwomeningeneralnornoise,shetoldherselfindignantly. Shewasonlythelittlemaid,grownthreeyearsolder,whohadsatathisfeetandadoringlylistenedtoallthathehadbeenpleasedtosayintheolddaysatthetopoftheStrata.Andhehadbeenkindthen——verykind,Billydeclaredstoutly.Hehadbeenpatientandinterested,too,andhehadseemednotonlywilling,butgladtoteachher,whilenow—— SometimesBillythoughtshewouldaskhimcandidlywhatwasthematter.Butitwasalwaystheold,frankBillythatthoughtthis; theimpulsiveBilly,thathadgoneuptoCyril’sroomsyearsbeforeandcheerfullyannouncedthatshehadcometogetacquainted.Itwasneverthesensible,circumspectBillythatAuntHannahhadforthreeyearsbeenshapingandcoaxingintobeing.ButeventhisBillyfrownedrebelliously,anddeclaredthatsometimesomethingshouldbesaidthatwouldatleastgivehimachancetoexplain. InalltheweekssinceBilly’spurchaseofHillside,Cyrilhadbeenthereonlytwice,anditwasnearlyThanksgivingnow.Billyhadseenhimonceortwice,also,attheBeaconStreethouse,whensheandAuntHannahhaddinedthere;butonalltheseoccasionshehadbeeneitherthecoldlyreservedguestorthepainfullypunctilioushost.Neverhadhebeenintheleastapproachable. \"HetreatsmeexactlyashetreatedpoorlittleSpunkthatfirstnight,\"Billydeclaredhotlytoherself. OnlyoncesinceshecamehadBillyheardCyrilplay,andthatwaswhenshehadsharedtheprivilegewithhundredsofothersatapublicconcert.Shehadsatthenentranced,withhereyesontheclean—cuthandsomeprofileofthemanwhoplayedwithsosureaskillandpower,yetwithoutanotebeforehim.Afterwardshehadmethimfacetoface,andhadtriedtotellhimhowmovedshewas; butinheragitation,andbecauseofastrangeshynessthathadsuddenlycometoher,shehadendedonlyinstammeringoutsomeflippantbanalitythathadbroughttohisfacemerelyaboredsmileofacknowledgment. Twiceshehadaskedhimtoplayforher;buteachtimehehadbeggedtobeexcused,courteously,butdecidedly. \"It’snousetotease,\"Bertramhadinterposedonce,withanairywaveofhishands.\"Thislionalwaysdidrefusetoroartoorder. Ifyoureallymusthearhim,you’llhavetoslipup—stairsandcampoutsidehisdoor,waitingpatientlyforsuchcrumbsasmayfallfromhistable.\" \"Aren’tyourmetaphorsalittlemixed?\"questionedCyrilirritably. \"Yes,sir,\"acknowledgedBertramwithunruffledtemper.\"butI don’tmindifBillydoesn’t.Ionlymeanthertounderstandthatshe’dhavetodoassheusedtodo——listenoutsideyourdoor.\" Billy’scheeksreddened. \"ButthatiswhatIsha’n’tdo,\"sheretortedwithspirit.\"And,moreover,Istillhavehopesthatsomedayhe’llplaytome.\" \"Maybe,\"concededBertram,doubtfully;\"ifthestoolandthepianoandthepedalsandtheweatherandhisfingersandyourearsandmywatcharealljustright——thenhe’llplay.\" \"Nonsense!\"scowledCyril.\"I’llplay,ofcourse,someday.ButI’drathernottoday.\"Andtherethematterhadended.SincethenBillyhadnotaskedhimtoplay. CHAPTERXXV THEOLDROOM——ANDBILLY ThanksgivingwastobeagreatdayintheHenshawfamily.TheHenshawbrothersweretoentertain.BillyandAuntHannahhadbeeninvitedtodinner;andsojoyouslyhospitablewasWilliam’sinvitationthatitwouldhaveincludedthenewkittenandthecanaryifBillywouldhaveconsentedtobringthem. OncemorePetesweptandgarnishedthehouse,andoncemoreDongLingspoileduncountedsquaresofchocolatetryingtomakethebafflingfudge.BertramsaidthattheentireStratawasa—quiver. NotbutthatBillyandAuntHannahhadvisitedtherebefore,butthatthiswasdifferent.Theyweretocomeatnoonthistime. Thisvisitwasnottobeatantalizinglittlepieceofstiffnessanhourandahalflong.Itwastobeasatisfying,whole—souledmatterofhalfaday’scomradeship,almostlikeoldtimes.Sooncemoretherosesgracedtherooms,andaflaringpinkbowadornedSpunkie’sfatneck;andoncemoreBertramplacedhislatest\"FaceofaGirl\"inthebestpossiblelight.Therewasstilladifference,however,forthistimeCyrildidnotbringanymusicdowntothepiano,nordisplayanywhereacopyofhisnewestbook. Thedinnerwastobeatthreeo’clock,butbyspecialinvitationtheguestsweretoarriveattwelve;andpromptlyattheappointedhourtheycame. \"There,thisissomethinglike,\"exultedBertram,whentheladies,divestedoftheirwraps,toastedtheirfeetbeforetheopenfireinhisden. \"Indeeditis,fornowI’vetimetoseeeverything——everythingyou’vedonesinceI’vebeengone,\"criedBilly,gazingeagerlyabouther. \"Hm—m;well,THATwasn’twhatImeant,\"shruggedBertram. \"Ofcoursenot;butit’swhatImeant,\"retortedBilly.\"Andthereareotherthings,too.Iexpecttherearehalfadozennew’OldBlues’andblackbasaltsthatIwanttosee;eh,UncleWilliam?\" shefinished,smilingintotheeyesofthemanwhohadbeengazingatherwithdotingprideforthelastfiveminutes. \"Ho!Willisn’tonteapotsnow,\"quothBertram,beforehisbrotherhadachancetoreply.\"Youmightdangletheoldest’OldBlue’ thateverwasbeforehimnow,andhe’dpayscantattentionifhehappenedatthesametimetogethiseyesonsomeoldpewterchainwithagreenstoneinit.\" Billylaughed;butatthelookofgenuinedistressthatcameintoWilliam’sface,shesoberedatonce. \"Don’tyoulethimteaseyou,UncleWilliam,\"shesaidquickly. \"I’msurepewterchainswithgreenstonesinthemsoundjustawfullyinteresting,andIwanttoseethemrightawaynow.Come,\" shefinished,springingtoherfeet,\"takemeup—stairs,please,andshowthemtome.\" Williamshookhisheadandsaid,\"No,no!\"protestingthatwhathehadwerescarcelyworthherattention;butevenwhilehetalkedherosetohisfeetandadvancedhalfeagerly,halfreluctantly,towardthedoor. \"Nonsense,\"saidBilly,fondly,asshelaidherhandonhisarm. \"Iknowtheyareverymuchworthseeing.Come!\"Andsheledthewayfromtheroom.\"Oh,oh!\"sheexclaimedafewmomentslater,asshestoodbeforeasmallcabinetinoneofWilliam’srooms.\"Oh,oh,howpretty!\" \"Doyoulikethem?Ithoughtyouwould,\"triumphedWilliam,quickjoydrivingawaytheanxiousfearinhiseyes.\"Yousee,I——I thoughtofyouwhenIgotthem——everyoneofthem.Ithoughtyou’dlikethem.ButIhaven’tverymany,yet,ofcourse.Thisisthelatestone.\"Andhetenderlyliftedfromitsblackvelvetmatacurioussilvernecklacemadeofsmall,flat,chain—linkeddisks,heavilychased,andsetatregularintervalswithastrange,blue— greenstone. Billyhungaboveitenraptured. \"Oh,whatabeauty!Andthis,Isuppose,isBertram’s’pewterchain’!’Pewter,’indeed!\"shescoffed.\"Tellme,UncleWilliam,wheredidyougetit?\" AnduncleWilliamtold,happily,thirstily,drinkinginBilly’sevidentinterestwithdelight.Therewere,too,aquaintly—setringandacat’s—eyebrooch;andtoeachbelongedastorywhichWilliamwasequallygladtotell.Therewereothertreasures,also:buckles,rings,brooches,andnecklaces,someofdullgold,someofequallydullsilver;butallofodddesignandcuriousworkmanship,studdedhereandtherewithbitsofred,green,yellow,blue,andflame—coloredstones.VerylearnedlythenfromWilliam’slipsfellthenewvocabularythathadcometohimwithhislatesttreasures:chrysoprase,carnelian,girasol,onyx,plasma,sardonyx,lapislazuli,tourmaline,chrysolite,hyacinth,andcarbuncle. \"Theyarelovely,perfectlylovely!\"breathedBilly,whenthelastchainhadslippedthroughherfingersintoWilliam’shand.\"I thinktheyaretheverynicestthingsyouevercollected.\" \"SodoI,\"agreedtheman,emphatically.\"Andtheyare——different,too.\" \"Theyare,\"saidBilly,\"very——different.\"Butshewasnotlookingatthejewelry:hereyeswereonasmallshellhairpinandabrownsilkbuttonhalfhiddenbehindaLowestoftteapot. Onthewaydown—stairsWilliamstoppedamomentatBilly’soldrooms. \"Iwishyouwereherenow,\"hesaidwistfully.\"They’reallreadyforyou——theserooms.\" \"Oh,butwhydon’tyouusethem?——suchprettyrooms!\"criedBilly,quickly. Williamgaveagestureofdissent. \"Wehavenouseforthem;besides,theybelongtoyouandAuntHannah.Youleftyourimprintlongago,mydear——weshouldnotfeelathomeinthem.\" \"Oh,butyoushould!Youmustn’tfeellikethat!\"objectedBilly,hurriedlycrossingtheroomtothewindowtohideasuddennervousnessthathadassailedher.\"Andhere’smypiano,too,andopen!\"shefinishedgaily,droppingherselfuponthepianostoolanddashingintoabrilliantmazourka. Billy,likeCyril,hadawayofworkingoffhermoodsatherfingertips;andto—daythetrippingnotesandcrashingchordstoldofanervousexcitementthatwasnotalljoy.FromthedoorwayWilliamwatchedherflyingfingerswithfondpride,anditwasveryreluctantlythatheaccededtoPete’srequesttogodown—stairsforamomenttosettleavexedquestionconcerningthetabledecorations. Billy,leftalone,stillplayed,butwithadifference.Thetrippingnotesslowedintoaweirdmelodythatroseandfellandlostitselfintheexquisiteharmonythathadbeenbornofthecrashingchords.Billywasimprovisingnow,andintohermusichadcreptsomethingofherold—timelongingwhenshehadcometothathousealonely,orphangirl,insearchofahome.Onandonsheplayed;thenwithadiscordantnote,shesuddenlyrosefromthepiano.ShewasthinkingofKate,andwonderingif,hadKatenot\"managed\"thelittleroomwouldstillbehome. SoswiftlydidBillycrosstothedoorthatthemanonthestairsoutsidehadnottimetogetquiteoutofsight.Billydidnotseehisface,however;shesawonlyapairofgray—trouseredlegsdisappearingaroundthecurveofthelandingabove.Shethoughtnothingofituntillaterwhendinnerwasannounced,andCyrilcamedown—stairs;thenshesawthathe,andheonly,thatafternoonworetrousersofthatparticularshadeofgray. Thedinnerwasagreatsuccess.Eventhechocolatefudgeinthelittlecutglassbonbondisheswasperfect;anditwasaquestionwhetherPeteorDongLingtriedthehardertoplease. Afterdinnerthefamilygatheredinthedrawing—roomandchattedpleasantly.Bertramdisplayedhisprettiestandnewestpictures,andBillyplayedandsung——bright,tunefullittlethingsthatsheknewAuntHannahandUncleWilliamliked.IfCyrilwaspleasedordispleased,hedidnotshowit——butBillyhadceasedtoplayforCyril’sears.Shetoldherselfthatshedidnotcare;butshedidwonder:wasthatCyrilonthestairs,andifso——whatwashedoingthere? CHAPTERXXVI \"MUSICHATHCHARMS\" TwodaysafterThanksgivingCyrilcalledatHillside. \"I’vecometohearyouplay,\"heannouncedabruptly. Billy’sheartsungwithinher——buthertemperrose.Didhethinkthenthathehadbuttobeckonandshewouldcome——andatthislateday,sheaskedherself.Aloudshesaid: \"Play?Butthisis’sosudden’!Besides,youhaveheardme.\" Themanmadeadisdainfulgesture. \"Notthat.Imeanplay——reallyplay.Billy,whyhaven’tyouplayedtomebefore?\" Billy’schinroseperceptibly. \"Whyhaven’tyouaskedme?\"sheparried. ToBilly’ssurprisethemanansweredthiswithcalmdirectness. \"BecauseCalderwellsaidthatyouwereadandyplayer,andIdon’tcarefordandyplayers.\" Billylaughednow. \"AndhowdoyouknowI’mnotadandyplayer,SirImpertinent?\"shedemanded. \"BecauseI’veheardyou——whenyouweren’t.\" \"Thankyou,\"murmuredBilly. Cyrilshruggedhisshoulders. \"Oh,youknowverywellwhatImean,\"hedefended.\"I’veheardyou;that’sall.\" \"When?\" \"Thatdoesn’tsignify.\" Billywassilentforamoment,hereyesgravelystudyinghisface. Thensheasked: \"Wereyoulong——onthatstairway?\" \"Eh?What?Oh!\"Cyril’sforeheadgrewsuddenlypink.\"Well?\"hefinishedalittleaggressively. \"Oh,nothing,\"smiledthegirl.\"Ofcoursepeoplewholiveinglasshousesmustnotthrowstones.\" \"Verywellthen,Ididlisten,\"acknowledgedtheman,testily.\"I likedwhatyouwereplaying.Ihoped,down—stairslater,thatyou’dplayitagain;butyoudidn’t.Icameto—daytohearit.\" AgainBilly’sheartsungwithinher——butagainhertemperrose,too. \"Idon’tthinkIfeellikeit,\"shesaidsweetly,withashakeofherhead.\"Notto—day.\" ForabriefmomentCyrilstaredfrowningly;thenhisfacelightedwithhisraresmile. \"I’mfairlycheckmated,\"hesaid,risingtohisfeetandgoingstraighttothepiano. Forlongminutesheplayed,modulatingfromoneenchantingcompositiontoanother,andfinishingwiththeone\"allchordswithbigbassnotes\"thatmarchedonandon——theoneBillyhadsatlongagoonthestairstohear. \"There!Nowwillyouplayforme?\"heasked,risingtohisfeet,andturningreproachfuleyesuponher. Billy,too,rosetoherfeet.Herfacewasflushedandhereyeswereshining.Herlipsquiveredwithemotion.Aswasalwaysthecase,Cyril’smusichadcarriedherquiteoutofherself. \"Oh,thankyou,thankyou,\"shesighed.\"Youdon’tknow——youcan’tknowhowbeautifulitallis——tome!\" \"Thankyou.Thensurelynowyou’llplaytome,\"hereturned. AlookofrealdistresscametoBilly’sface. \"ButIcan’t——notwhatyouheardtheotherday,\"shecriedremorsefully.\"Yousee,Iwas——onlyimprovising.\" Cyrilturnedquickly. \"Onlyimprovising!Billy,didyoueverwriteitdown——anyofyourimprovising?\" AnembarrassedredflewtoBilly’sface. \"Not——notthatamountedto——well,thatis,some——alittle,\"shestammered. \"Letmeseeit.\" \"No,no,Icouldn’t——notYOU!\" AgaintheraresmilelightedCyril’seyes. \"Billy,letmeseethatpaper——please.\" Veryslowlythegirlturnedtowardthemusiccabinet.Shehesitated,glancedoncemoreappealinglyintoCyril’sface,thenwithnervoushasteopenedthelittlemahoganydoorandtookfromoneoftheshelvesasheetofmanuscriptmusic.But,likeashychildwithherfirstcopybook,sheheldithalfbehindherbackasshecametowardthepiano. \"Thankyou,\"saidCyrilashereachedfaroutforthemusic.Thenextmomentheseatedhimselfagainatthepiano. Twiceheplayedthelittlesongthroughcarefully,slowly. \"Now,singit,\"hedirected. Falteringly,inaveryfaintvoice,andwithverymanybreathstakenwheretheyshouldnothavebeentaken,Billyobeyed. \"Whenwewanttoshowoffyoursong,Billy,wewon’taskyoutosingit,\"observedtheman,dryly,whenshehadfinished. Billylaughedanddimpledintoablush. \"WhenIwanttoshowoffmysongIsha’n’tbesingingittoyouforthefirsttime,\"shepouted. Cyrildidnotanswer.Hewasplayingoverandovercertainharmoniesinthemusicbeforehim. \"Hm—m;Iseeyou’vestudiedyourcounterpointtosomepurpose,\"hevouchsafed,finally;then:\"Wheredidyougetthewords?\" Thegirlhesitated.Theflushhaddeepenedonherface. \"Well,I——\"shestoppedandgaveanembarrassedlaugh.\"I’mlikethesmallboywhomadethetoys.’Igotthemalloutofmyownhead,andthere’swoodenoughtomakeanother.’\" \"Hm—m;indeed!\"gruntedtheman.\"Well,haveyoumadeanyothers?\" \"One——ortwo,maybe.\" \"Letmeseethem,please.\" \"Ithink——we’vehadenough——fortoday,\"shefaltered. \"Ihaven’t.Besides,ifIcouldhaveacouplemoretogowiththis,itwouldmakeaveryprettylittlegroupofsongs.\" \"’Togowiththis’!Whatdoyoumean?\" \"Tothepublishers,ofcourse.\" \"ThePUBLISHERS!\" \"Certainly.Didyouthinkyouweregoingtokeepthesesongstoyourself?\" \"Buttheyaren’tworthit!Theycan’tbe——goodenough!\" UnbelievingjoywasinBilly’svoice. \"No?Well,we’llletothersdecidethat,\"observedCyril,withashrug.\"Allis,ifyou’vegotanymorewood——likethis——Iadviseyoutomakeituprightaway.\" \"ButIhavealready!\"criedthegirl,excitedly.\"TherearelotsoflittlethingsthatI’ve——thatis,thereare——some,\"shecorrectedhastily,atthelookthatsprangintoCyril’seyes. \"Oh,thereare,\"laughedCyril.\"Well,we’llseewhat——\"Buthedidnotsee.Hedidnotevenfinishhissentence;forBilly’smaid,Rosa,appearedjustthenwithacard. \"ShowMr.Calderwellinhere,\"saidBilly.Cyrilsaidnothing—— aloud;whichwaswell.Histhoughts,justthen,werebetterleftunspoken. CHAPTERXXVII MARIE,WHOLONGSTOMAKEPUDDINGS WonderfuldayscamethentoBilly.Foursongs,itseemed,hadbeenpronouncedbycompetentcriticsdecidedly\"worthit\"——unmistakably\"goodenough\";andtheyweretobebroughtoutassoonaspossible. \"Ofcourseyouunderstand,\"explainedCyril,\"thatthere’sno’hit’ expected.Thankheaventheyaren’tthatsort!Andthere’snogreatmoneyinit,either.You’dhavetowriteamasterpiecelike’She’smyJu—JuBaby’orsomesuchgemtogetthe’hit’andthemoney.Butthesongsarefine,andthey’lltakewithculturedhearers.We’llgetthemintroducedbygoodsingers,ofcourse,andthey’llbefavoritessoonfortheconcertstage,andforparlors.\" BillysawagooddealofCyrilnow.Alreadyshewasatworkrewritingandpolishingsomeofherhalf—completedmelodies,andCyrilwashelpingher,byhisinterestaswellasbyhiscriticism. Hewas,infact,atthehouseveryfrequently——toofrequently,indeed,tosuiteitherBertramorCalderwell.EvenWilliamfrownedsometimeswhenhiscozychatswithBillywereinterruptedbyCyril’sappearingwitharollofnewmusicforherto\"try\";thoughWilliamtoldhimselfthatheoughttobethankfuliftherewasanythingthatcouldmakeCyrilmorecompanionable,lessreservedandmorose.AndCyrilWASdifferent——therewasnodisputingthat. Calderwellsaidthathehadcome\"outofhisshell\";andBertramtoldBillythatshemusthave\"foundhisnoteandstruckitgoodandhard.\" Billywasveryhappy.Tothelittlemusicteacher,MarieHawthorn,shetalkedmorefreely,perhaps,thanshedidtoanyoneelse. \"It’ssowonderful,Marie——sowonderfullywonderful,\"shesaidoneday,\"tosithereinmyownroomandsingalittlesongthatcomesfromsomewhere,anywhere,outoftheskyitself.Thenbyandby,thatlittlesongwillflyaway,away,overlandandsea;andsomedayitwilltouchsomebody’sheartjustasithastouchedmine. Oh,Marie,isitnotwonderful?\" \"Itis,dear——anditisnot.Yoursongscouldnothelpreachingsomebody’sheart.There’snothingwonderfulinthat.\" \"Sweetflatterer!\" \"ButImeanit.Theyarebeautiful;andsois——Mr.Henshaw’smusic.\" \"Yes,itis,\"murmuredBilly,abstractedly. Therewasalongpause,thenMarieaskedwithshyhesitation: \"Doyouthink,MissBilly——thathewouldcare?Ilistenedyesterdaywhenhewasplayingtoyou.Iwasuphereinyourroom,butwhenIheardthemusicI——Iwentout,onthestairsandsatdown.Wasitvery——badofme?\" Billylaughedhappily. \"Ifitwas,hecan’tsayanything,\"shereassuredher.\"He’sdonethesamethinghimself——andsohaveI.\" \"HEhasdoneit!\" \"Yes.ItwasathishomelastThanksgiving.Itwasthenthathefoundout——aboutmyimprovising.\" \"Oh—h!\"Marie’seyeswerewistful.\"Andhecaressomuchnowforyourmusic!\" \"Doeshe?Doyouthinkhedoes?\"demandedBilly. \"Iknowhedoes——andfortheonewhomakesit,too.\" \"Nonsense!\"laughedBilly,withpinkercheeks.\"It’sthemusic,notthemusician,thatpleaseshim.Mr.Cyrildoesn’tlikewomen.\" \"Hedoesn’tlikewomen!\" \"No.Butdon’tlooksoshocked,mydear.EveryonewhoknowsMr. Cyrilknowsthat.\" \"ButIdon’tthink——Ibelieveit,\"demurredMarie,gazingstraightintoBilly’seyes.\"I’msureIdon’tbelieveit.\" Underthelittlemusicteacher’ssteadygazeBillyflushedagain. Thelaughshegavewasanembarrassedone,butthroughitvibratedapleasedring. \"Nonsense!\"sheexclaimed,springingtoherfeetandmovingrestlesslyabouttheroom.WiththenextbreathshehadchangedthesubjecttoonefarremovedfromMr.Cyrilandhislikesanddislikes. SometimelaterBillyplayed,anditwasthenthatMariedrewalongsigh. \"Howbeautifulitmustbetoplay——likethat,\"shebreathed. \"Asifyou,amusicteacher,couldnotplay!\"laughedBilly. \"Notlikethat,dear.Youknowitisnotlikethat.\" Billyfrowned. \"Butyouaresoaccurate,Marie,andyoucanreadatsightsorapidly!\" \"Oh,yes,likealittlemachine,Iknow!\"scornedtheusuallygentleMarie,bitterly.\"Don’ttheyhaveathingofmetalthataddsfigureslikemagic?Well,I’mlikethat.IseegandIplayg;IseedandIplayd;IseefandIplayf;andafterI’veseenenoughg’sandd’sandf’sandplayedthemall,thethingisdone. I’veplayed.\" \"Why,Marie!Marie,mydear!\"Thesecondexclamationwasverytender,forMariewascrying. \"There!IknewIshouldsomedayhaveitout——allout,\"sobbedMarie.\"Ifeltitcoming.\" \"Thenperhapsyou’ll——you’llfeelbetternow,\"stammeredBilly. Shetriedtosaymore——otherwordsthatwouldhavebeenarealcomfort;buthertonguerefusedtospeakthem.Sheknewsowell,sowoefullywell,howverywoodenandmechanicalthelittlemusicteacher’splayingalwayshadbeen.ButthatMarieshouldrealizeitherselflikethis——thetragedyofitmadeBilly’sheartache. AtMarie’snextwords,however,Billycaughtherbreathinsurprise. \"Butyouseeitwasn’tmusic——itwasn’tevermusicthatIwanted—— todo,\"sheconfessed. \"Itwasn’tmusic!Butwhat——Idon’tunderstand,\"murmuredBilly. \"No,Isupposenot,\"sighedtheother.\"Youplaysobeautifullyyourself.\" \"ButIthoughtyoulovedmusic.\" \"Ido.Iloveitdearly——inothers.ButIcan’t——Idon’twanttomakeitmyself.\" \"Butwhatdoyouwanttodo?\" Marielaughedsuddenly. \"Doyouknow,mydear,IhavehalfamindtotellyouwhatIdoliketodo——justtomakeyoustare.\" \"Well?\"Billy’seyeswerewidewithinterest. \"Ilikebestofanythingto——darnstockingsandmakepuddings.\" \"Marie!\" \"Rankheresy,isn’tit?\"smiledMarie,tearfully.\"ButIdo,truly.Ilovetoweavethethreadsevenlyinandout,andseeabigholeclose.AsforthepuddingsIdon’tmeanthecommonbread— and—butterkind,buttheonesthathavewhitesofeggsandfruit,andprettyquiveryjelliesallrubyandamberlights,youknow.\" \"Youdearlittlepieceofdomesticity,\"laughedBilly.\"Thenwhyintheworlddon’tyoudothesethings?\" \"Ican’t,inmyownkitchen;Ican’taffordakitchentodothemin.AndIjustcouldn’tdothem——rightalong——inotherpeople’skitchens.\" \"Butwhydoyou——play?\" \"Iwasbroughtuptoit.Youknowwehadmoneyonce,lotsofit,\" sighedMarie,asifsheweredeploringamisfortune.\"Andmotherwasdeterminedtohavememusical.Eventhen,asalittletot,I likedpudding—making,andaftermymud—piedaysIwasalwaysbeggingmothertoletmegodownintothekitchen,tocook.Butshewouldn’tallowit,ever.Sheengagedthemostexpensivemastersandsetmepractising,alwayspractising.Isimplyhadtolearnmusic;andIlearneditliketheaddingmachine.Thenafterward,whenfatherdied,andthenmother,andthemoneyflewaway,why,ofcourseIhadtodosomething,sonaturallyIturnedtothemusic.ItwasallIcoulddo.But——well,youknowhowitis,dear.Iteach,andteachwell,perhaps,sofarasthemechanicalpartgoes;butasfortherest——Iamalwayslongingforacozycornerwithabasketofstockingstomend,orakitchenwherethereisapuddingwaitingtobemade.\" \"Youpoordear!\"criedBilly.\"I’veapairofstockingsnowthatneedsattention,andI’vebeenjustlongingforoneofyour’quiveryjelliesallrubyandamberlights’eversinceyoumentionedthem.But——well,isthereanythingIcoulddotohelp?\" \"Nothing,thankyou,\"sighedMarie,risingwearilytoherfeet,andcoveringhereyeswithherhandforamoment.\"Myheadachesshockingly,butI’vegottogothisminuteandinstructlittleJennieKnowlshowtoplaythewonderfulscaleofGwithablackkeyinit.Besides,youdohelpme,youhavehelpedme,youarealwayshelpingme,dear,\"sheaddedremorsefully;\"andit’swickedofmetomakethatshadowcometoyoureyes.Pleasedon’tthinkofit,orofme,anymore.\"Andwithachokinglittlesobshehurriedfromtheroom,followedbytheamazed,questioning,sorrowfuleyesofBilly. CHAPTERXXVIII \"I’MGOINGTOWIN\" NearlyallofBilly’sfriendsknewthatBertramHenshawwasinlovewithBillyNeilsonbeforeBillyherselfknewit.Notthattheyregardeditasanythingserious——\"it’sonlyBertram\"wasstillsaidofhimonalmostalloccasions.ButtoBertramhimselfitwasveryserious. TheworldtoBertram,indeed,hadcometoassumeavastlydifferentaspectfromwhatithaddisplayedintimespast.Heretoforeithadbeenaplaythingwhichlikeajuggler’stinselballmightbetossedfromhandtohandatwill.Nowitwasnoplaything——noglitteringbauble.Itwassomethingbigandseriousandsplendid——becauseBillylivedinit;somethingthatdemandedallhispowerstodo,andbe——becauseBillywaswatching;somethingthatmightbeaHadesoftormentoranElysiumofbliss——accordingtowhetherBillysaid\"no\"or\"yes.\" SinceThanksgivingBertramhadknownthatitwaslove——thisconsumingfirewithinhim;andsinceThanksgivinghehadknown,too,thatitwasjealousy——thisfiercehatredofCalderwell.Hewasashamedofthehatred.Hetoldhimselfthatitwasunmanly,unkind,andunreasonable;andhevowedthathewouldovercomeit. Attimesheevenfanciedthathehadovercomeit;butalwaysthesightofCalderwellinBilly’slittledrawing—roomorofeventheman’scardonBilly’ssilvertraywasenoughtoshowhimthathehadnot. Therewereothers,too,whoannoyedBertramnotalittle,foremostofthesebeinghisownbrothers.StillhewasnotreallyworriedaboutWilliamandCyril,hetoldhimself.Williamhedidnotconsidertobeamarryingman;andCyril——everyoneknewthatCyrilwasawoman—hater.HewasdoubtlessattractednowonlybyBilly’smusic.TherewasnorealrivalrytobefearedfromWilliamandCyril.ButtherewasalwaysCalderwell,andCalderwellwasserious.Bertramdecided,therefore,aftersomeweeksoffeverishunrest,thattheonlyroadtopeacelaythroughafrankavowalofhisfeelings,andadirectappealtoBillytogivehimthegreatboonofherlove. Justhere,however,Bertrammetwithanunexpecteddifficulty.Hecouldnotfindwordswithwhichtomakehisavowalortopresenthisappeal.Hewassurprisedandannoyed.Neverbeforehadhebeenatalossforwords——merewords.Anditwasnotthathelackedopportunity.Hewalked,drove,andtalkedwithBilly,andalwaysshewascompanionable,attentivetowhathehadtosay. Neverwasshecoldorreserved.Neverdidshefailtogreethimwithacheerysmile. Bertramconcluded,indeed,afteratime,thatshewastoocompanionable,toocheery.Hewishedshewouldhesitate,stammer,blush;bealittleshy.Hewishedthatshewoulddisplaysurprise,annoyance,even——anythingbutthateternalairofcomradeship.Andthen,oneafternoonintheearlytwilightofaJanuaryday,hefreedhismind,quiteunexpectedly. \"Billy,IwishyouWOULDN’Tbeso——sofriendly!\"heexclaimedinavoicethatwasalmostsharp. Billylaughedatfirst,butthenextmomentashameddistressdrovethemerrimentquiteoutofherface. \"YoumeanthatIpresumeon——onourfriendship?\"shestammered. \"ThatyoufearthatIwillagain——shadowyourfootsteps?\"ItwasthefirsttimesincethememorablenightitselfthatBillyhadeverinBertram’spresencereferredtoheryoungguardianshipofhiswelfare.Sherealizednow,suddenly,thatshehadjustbeengivingthemanbeforehersomevery\"sisterlyadvice,\"andthethoughtsentaconfusedredtohercheeks. Bertramturnedquickly. \"Billy,thatwasthedearestandloveliestthingagirleverdid—— onlyIwastoogreatachumptoappreciateit!\"finishedBertraminavoicethatwasnotquitesteady. \"Thankyou,\"smiledthegirl,withaslowshakeofherheadandarelievedlookinhereyes;\"butI’mafraidIcan’tquiteagreetothat.\"Thenextmomentshehaddemandedmischievously:\"Why,then,pray,thisunflatteringobjectiontomy——friendlinessnow?\" \"BecauseIdon’twantyouforafriend,orasister,oranythingelsethat’srelated,\"stormedBertram,withsuddenvehemence.\"I don’twantyouforanythingbut——awife!Billy,WON’Tyoumarryme?\" AgainBillylaughed——laugheduntilshesawthepainedangerleaptothegrayeyesbeforeher;thenshebecamegraveatonce. \"Bertram,forgiveme.Ididn’tthinkyoucould——youcan’tbe—— serious!\" \"ButIam.\" Billyshookherhead. \"Butyoudon’tloveme——notME,Bertram.It’sonlytheturnofmyheador——orthetiltofmychinthatyoulove——topaint,\"sheprotested,unconsciouslyechoingthewordsCalderwellhadsaidtoherweeksbefore.\"I’monlyanother’FaceofaGirl.’\" \"You’retheonly’Faceofagirl’tomenow,Billy,\"declaredtheman,withdisarmingtenderness. \"No,no,notthat,\"demurredBilly,indistress.\"Youdon’tmeanit.Youonlythinkyoudo.Itcouldn’tbethat.Itcan’tbe!\" \"Butitis,dear.IthinkIhavelovedyoueversincethatnightlongagowhenIsawyourdear,startledfaceappealingtomefrombeyondSeaver’shatefulsmile.And,Billy,IneverwentoncewithSeaveragain——anywhere.Didyouknowthat?\" \"No;but——I’mglad——soglad!\" \"AndI’mglad,too.Soyousee,Imusthavelovedyouthen,thoughunconsciously,perhaps;andIloveyounow.\" \"No,no,pleasedon’tsaythat.Itcan’tbe——itreallycan’tbe. I——Idon’tloveyou——thatway,Bertram.\" Themanpaledalittle. \"Billy——forgivemeforasking,butit’ssomuchtome——isitthatthereis——someoneelse?\"Hisvoiceshook. \"No,no,indeed!Thereisnoone.\" \"It’snot——Calderwell?\" Billy’sforeheadgrewpink.Shelaughednervous1y. \"No,no,never!\" \"Butthereareothers,somanyothers!\" \"Nonsense,Bertram;there’snoone——noone,Iassureyou!\" \"It’snotWilliam,ofcourse,norCyril.Cyrilhateswomen.\" AdeeperflushcametoBilly’sface.Herchinrosealittle;andanodddefianceflashedfromhereyes.Butalmostinstantlyitwasgone,andaslowsmilehadcometoherlips. \"Yes,Iknow.Everyone——saysthatCyrilhateswomen,\"sheobserveddemurely. \"Then,Billy,Isha’n’tgiveup!\"vowedBertram,softly.\"SometimeyouWILLloveme!\" \"No,no,Icouldn’t.Thatis,I’mnotgoingto——tomarry,\" stammeredBilly. \"Notgoingtomarry!\" \"No.There’smymusic——youknowhowIlovethat,andhowmuchitistome.Idon’tthinkthere’lleverbeaman——thatI’lllovebetter.\" Bertramliftedhishead.Veryslowlyherosetillhissplendidsixfeetofclean—limbedstrengthandmanlybeautytoweredawayabovethelowchairinwhichBillysat.Hismouthshowednewlinesaboutthecorners,andhiseyeslookeddownverytenderlyatthegirlbesidehim;buthisvoice,whenhespoke,hadalightwhimsicalitythatdeceivedevenBilly’sears. \"Andsoit’smusic——acold,senselessthingofspiderymarksoncleanwhitepaper——thatismyonlyrival,\"hecried.\"ThenI’llwarnyou,Billy,I’llwarnyou.I’mgoingtowin!\"Andwiththathewasgone. CHAPTERXXIX \"I’MNOTGOINGTOMARRY\" BillydidnotknowwhethertobemoreamazedoramusedatBertram’sproposalofmarriage.Shewasvexed;shewasverysureofthat. TomarryBertram?Absurd!Thenshereflectedthat,afterall,itwasonlyBertram,soshecalmedherself. Still,itwasannoying.ShelikedBertram,shehadalwayslikedhim.Hewasaniceboy,andamostcongenialcompanion.Heneverboredher,asdidsomeothers;andhewasalwaysthoughtfulofcushionsandfootstoolsandcupsofteawhenonewastired.Hewas,infact,anidealfriend,justthesortshewanted;anditwassuchapitythathemustspoilitallnowwiththissillysentimentality!Andofcoursehehadspoileditall.Therewasnogoingbacknowtotheiroldfriendliness.Hewouldbemoroseorsillybyturns,accordingtowhethershefrownedorsmiled;orelsehewouldtakehimselfoffinatragicsortofwaythatwasverydisturbing.Hehadsaid,tobesure,thathewould\"win.\"Win,indeed!AsifshecouldmarryBertram!Whenshemarried,herchoicewouldfalluponaman,notaboy;abig,grave,earnestmantowhomtheworldmeantsomething;amanwholovedmusic,ofcourse;amanwhowouldsingleheroutfromalltheworld,andshowtoher,andtoheronly,thedepthandtendernessofhislove;amanwho——butshewasnotgoingtomarry,anyway,rememberedBilly,suddenly.Andwiththatshebegantocry.Thewholethingwasso\"tiresome,\"shedeclared,andso\"absurd.\" BillyratherdreadedhernextmeetingwithBertram.Shefeared—— sheknewnotwhat.But,asitturnedout,sheneednothavefearedanything,forhemethertranquilly,cheerfully,asusual;andhedidnothingandsaidnothingthathemightnothavedoneandsaidbeforethattwilightchattookplace.