Andshethoughtofherself，`Iwishthecreatureswouldn’tbesoeasilyoffended!’
`You’llgetusedtoitintime，’saidtheCaterpillar；anditputthehookahintoitsmouthandbegansmokingagain。
ThistimeAlicewaitedpatientlyuntilitchosetospeakagain。
InaminuteortwotheCaterpillartookthehookahoutofitsmouthandyawnedonceortwice，andshookitself。Thenitgotdownoffthemushroom，andcrawledawayinthegrass，merelyremarkingasitwent，`Onesidewillmakeyougrowtaller，andtheothersidewillmakeyougrowshorter。’
`OnesideofWHAT？TheothersideofWHAT？’thoughtAlicetoherself。
`Ofthemushroom，’saidtheCaterpillar，justasifshehadaskeditaloud；andinanothermomentitwasoutofsight。
Aliceremainedlookingthoughtfullyatthemushroomforaminute，tryingtomakeoutwhichwerethetwosidesofit；andasitwasperfectlyround，shefoundthisaverydifficultquestion。
However，atlastshestretchedherarmsrounditasfarastheywouldgo，andbrokeoffabitoftheedgewitheachhand。
`Andnowwhichiswhich？’shesaidtoherself，andnibbledalittleoftheright—handbittotrytheeffect：thenextmomentshefeltaviolentblowunderneathherchin：ithadstruckherfoot!
Shewasagooddealfrightenedbythisverysuddenchange，butshefeltthattherewasnotimetobelost，asshewasshrinkingrapidly；soshesettoworkatoncetoeatsomeoftheotherbit。
Herchinwaspressedsocloselyagainstherfoot，thattherewashardlyroomtoopenhermouth；butshediditatlast，andmanagedtoswallowamorselofthelefthandbit。
`Come，myhead’sfreeatlast!’saidAliceinatoneofdelight，whichchangedintoalarminanothermoment，whenshefoundthathershoulderswerenowheretobefound：allshecouldsee，whenshelookeddown，wasanimmenselengthofneck，whichseemedtoriselikeastalkoutofaseaofgreenleavesthatlayfarbelowher。
`WhatCANallthatgreenstuffbe？’saidAlice。`AndwhereHAVEmyshouldersgotto？Andoh，mypoorhands，howisitI
can’tseeyou？’Shewasmovingthemaboutasshespoke，butnoresultseemedtofollow，exceptalittleshakingamongthedistantgreenleaves。
Asthereseemedtobenochanceofgettingherhandsuptoherhead，shetriedtogetherheaddowntothem，andwasdelightedtofindthatherneckwouldbendabouteasilyinanydirection，likeaserpent。Shehadjustsucceededincurvingitdownintoagracefulzigzag，andwasgoingtodiveinamongtheleaves，whichshefoundtobenothingbutthetopsofthetreesunderwhichshehadbeenwandering，whenasharphissmadeherdrawbackinahurry：alargepigeonhadflownintoherface，andwasbeatingherviolentlywithitswings。
`Serpent!’screamedthePigeon。
`I’mNOTaserpent!’saidAliceindignantly。`Letmealone!’
`Serpent，Isayagain!’repeatedthePigeon，butinamoresubduedtone，andaddedwithakindofsob，`I’vetriedeveryway，andnothingseemstosuitthem!’
`Ihaven’ttheleastideawhatyou’retalkingabout，’saidAlice。
`I’vetriedtherootsoftrees，andI’vetriedbanks，andI’vetriedhedges，’thePigeonwenton，withoutattendingtoher；`butthoseserpents!There’snopleasingthem!’
Alicewasmoreandmorepuzzled，butshethoughttherewasnouseinsayinganythingmoretillthePigeonhadfinished。
`Asifitwasn’ttroubleenoughhatchingtheeggs，’saidthePigeon；`butImustbeonthelook—outforserpentsnightandday!Why，Ihaven’thadawinkofsleepthesethreeweeks!’
`I’mverysorryyou’vebeenannoyed，’saidAlice，whowasbeginningtoseeitsmeaning。
`AndjustasI’dtakenthehighesttreeinthewood，’continuedthePigeon，raisingitsvoicetoashriek，`andjustasIwasthinkingIshouldbefreeofthematlast，theymustneedscomewrigglingdownfromthesky!Ugh，Serpent!’
`ButI’mNOTaserpent，Itellyou!’saidAlice。`I’ma——I’ma——’
`Well!WHATareyou？’saidthePigeon。`Icanseeyou’retryingtoinventsomething!’
`I——I’malittlegirl，’saidAlice，ratherdoubtfully，assherememberedthenumberofchangesshehadgonethroughthatday。
`Alikelystoryindeed!’saidthePigeoninatoneofthedeepestcontempt。`I’veseenagoodmanylittlegirlsinmytime，butneverONEwithsuchaneckasthat!No，no!You’reaserpent；andthere’snousedenyingit。Isupposeyou’llbetellingmenextthatyounevertastedanegg!’
`IHAVEtastedeggs，certainly，’saidAlice，whowasaverytruthfulchild；`butlittlegirlseateggsquiteasmuchasserpentsdo，youknow。’
`Idon’tbelieveit，’saidthePigeon；`butiftheydo，whythenthey’reakindofserpent，that’sallIcansay。’
ThiswassuchanewideatoAlice，thatshewasquitesilentforaminuteortwo，whichgavethePigeontheopportunityofadding，`You’relookingforeggs，IknowTHATwellenough；andwhatdoesitmattertomewhetheryou’realittlegirloraserpent？’
`ItmattersagooddealtoME，’saidAlicehastily；`butI’mnotlookingforeggs，asithappens；andifIwas，Ishouldn’twantYOURS：Idon’tlikethemraw。’
`Well，beoff，then!’saidthePigeoninasulkytone，asitsettleddownagainintoitsnest。Alicecroucheddownamongthetreesaswellasshecould，forherneckkeptgettingentangledamongthebranches，andeverynowandthenshehadtostopanduntwistit。Afterawhilesherememberedthatshestillheldthepiecesofmushroominherhands，andshesettoworkverycarefully，nibblingfirstatoneandthenattheother，andgrowingsometimestallerandsometimesshorter，untilshehadsucceededinbringingherselfdowntoherusualheight。
Itwassolongsinceshehadbeenanythingneartherightsize，thatitfeltquitestrangeatfirst；butshegotusedtoitinafewminutes，andbegantalkingtoherself，asusual。`Come，there’shalfmyplandonenow!Howpuzzlingallthesechangesare!I’mneversurewhatI’mgoingtobe，fromoneminutetoanother!However，I’vegotbacktomyrightsize：thenextthingis，togetintothatbeautifulgarden——howISthattobedone，Iwonder？’Asshesaidthis，shecamesuddenlyuponanopenplace，withalittlehouseinitaboutfourfeethigh。
`Whoeverlivesthere，’thoughtAlice，`it’llneverdotocomeuponthemTHISsize：why，Ishouldfrightenthemoutoftheirwits!’Soshebegannibblingattherighthandbitagain，anddidnotventuretogonearthehousetillshehadbroughtherselfdowntonineincheshigh。
CHAPTERVI
PigandPepperForaminuteortwoshestoodlookingatthehouse，andwonderingwhattodonext，whensuddenlyafootmaninliverycamerunningoutofthewood——（sheconsideredhimtobeafootmanbecausehewasinlivery：otherwise，judgingbyhisfaceonly，shewouldhavecalledhimafish）——andrappedloudlyatthedoorwithhisknuckles。Itwasopenedbyanotherfootmaninlivery，witharoundface，andlargeeyeslikeafrog；andbothfootmen，Alicenoticed，hadpowderedhairthatcurledallovertheirheads。Shefeltverycurioustoknowwhatitwasallabout，andcreptalittlewayoutofthewoodtolisten。
TheFish—Footmanbeganbyproducingfromunderhisarmagreatletter，nearlyaslargeashimself，andthishehandedovertotheother，saying，inasolemntone，`FortheDuchess。AninvitationfromtheQueentoplaycroquet。’TheFrog—Footmanrepeated，inthesamesolemntone，onlychangingtheorderofthewordsalittle，`FromtheQueen。AninvitationfortheDuchesstoplaycroquet。’
Thentheybothbowedlow，andtheircurlsgotentangledtogether。
Alicelaughedsomuchatthis，thatshehadtorunbackintothewoodforfearoftheirhearingher；andwhenshenextpeepedouttheFish—Footmanwasgone，andtheotherwassittingonthegroundnearthedoor，staringstupidlyupintothesky。
Alicewenttimidlyuptothedoor，andknocked。
`There’snosortofuseinknocking，’saidtheFootman，`andthatfortworeasons。First，becauseI’monthesamesideofthedoorasyouare；secondly，becausethey’remakingsuchanoiseinside，noonecouldpossiblyhearyou。’Andcertainlytherewasamostextraordinarynoisegoingonwithin——aconstanthowlingandsneezing，andeverynowandthenagreatcrash，asifadishorkettlehadbeenbrokentopieces。
`Please，then，’saidAlice，`howamItogetin？’
`Theremightbesomesenseinyourknocking，’theFootmanwentonwithoutattendingtoher，`ifwehadthedoorbetweenus。Forinstance，ifyouwereINSIDE，youmightknock，andIcouldletyouout，youknow。’Hewaslookingupintotheskyallthetimehewasspeaking，andthisAlicethoughtdecidedlyuncivil。`Butperhapshecan’thelpit，’shesaidtoherself；`hiseyesaresoVERYnearlyatthetopofhishead。Butatanyratehemightanswerquestions。——HowamItogetin？’sherepeated，aloud。
`Ishallsithere，’theFootmanremarked，`tilltomorrow——’
Atthismomentthedoorofthehouseopened，andalargeplatecameskimmingout，straightattheFootman’shead：itjustgrazedhisnose，andbroketopiecesagainstoneofthetreesbehindhim。
`——ornextday，maybe，’theFootmancontinuedinthesametone，exactlyasifnothinghadhappened。
`HowamItogetin？’askedAliceagain，inaloudertone。
`AREyoutogetinatall？’saidtheFootman。`That’sthefirstquestion，youknow。’
Itwas，nodoubt：onlyAlicedidnotliketobetoldso。
`It’sreallydreadful，’shemutteredtoherself，`thewayallthecreaturesargue。It’senoughtodriveonecrazy!’
TheFootmanseemedtothinkthisagoodopportunityforrepeatinghisremark，withvariations。`Ishallsithere，’hesaid，`onandoff，fordaysanddays。’
`ButwhatamItodo？’saidAlice。
`Anythingyoulike，’saidtheFootman，andbeganwhistling。
`Oh，there’snouseintalkingtohim，’saidAlicedesperately：
`he’sperfectlyidiotic!’Andsheopenedthedoorandwentin。
Thedoorledrightintoalargekitchen，whichwasfullofsmokefromoneendtotheother：theDuchesswassittingonathree—leggedstoolinthemiddle，nursingababy；thecookwasleaningoverthefire，stirringalargecauldronwhichseemedtobefullofsoup。
`There’scertainlytoomuchpepperinthatsoup!’Alicesaidtoherself，aswellasshecouldforsneezing。
Therewascertainlytoomuchofitintheair。EventheDuchesssneezedoccasionally；andasforthebaby，itwassneezingandhowlingalternatelywithoutamoment’spause。Theonlythingsinthekitchenthatdidnotsneeze，werethecook，andalargecatwhichwassittingonthehearthandgrinningfromeartoear。
`Pleasewouldyoutellme，’saidAlice，alittletimidly，forshewasnotquitesurewhetheritwasgoodmannersforhertospeakfirst，`whyyourcatgrinslikethat？’
`It’saCheshirecat，’saidtheDuchess，`andthat’swhy。Pig!’
ShesaidthelastwordwithsuchsuddenviolencethatAlicequitejumped；butshesawinanothermomentthatitwasaddressedtothebaby，andnottoher，soshetookcourage，andwentonagain：——
`Ididn’tknowthatCheshirecatsalwaysgrinned；infact，I
didn’tknowthatcatsCOULDgrin。’
`Theyallcan，’saidtheDuchess；`andmostof’emdo。’
`Idon’tknowofanythatdo，’Alicesaidverypolitely，feelingquitepleasedtohavegotintoaconversation。
`Youdon’tknowmuch，’saidtheDuchess；`andthat’safact。’
Alicedidnotatalllikethetoneofthisremark，andthoughtitwouldbeaswelltointroducesomeothersubjectofconversation。Whileshewastryingtofixonone，thecooktookthecauldronofsoupoffthefire，andatoncesettoworkthrowingeverythingwithinherreachattheDuchessandthebaby——thefire—ironscamefirst；thenfollowedashowerofsaucepans，plates，anddishes。TheDuchesstooknonoticeofthemevenwhentheyhither；andthebabywashowlingsomuchalready，thatitwasquiteimpossibletosaywhethertheblowshurtitornot。
`Oh，PLEASEmindwhatyou’redoing!’criedAlice，jumpingupanddowninanagonyofterror。`Oh，theregoeshisPRECIOUS
nose’；asanunusuallylargesaucepanflewclosebyit，andverynearlycarrieditoff。
`Ifeverybodymindedtheirownbusiness，’theDuchesssaidinahoarsegrowl，`theworldwouldgoroundadealfasterthanitdoes。’
`WhichwouldNOTbeanadvantage，’saidAlice，whofeltverygladtogetanopportunityofshowingoffalittleofherknowledge。`Justthinkofwhatworkitwouldmakewiththedayandnight!Youseetheearthtakestwenty—fourhourstoturnroundonitsaxis——’
`Talkingofaxes，’saidtheDuchess，`chopoffherhead!’
Aliceglancedratheranxiouslyatthecook，toseeifshemeanttotakethehint；butthecookwasbusilystirringthesoup，andseemednottobelistening，soshewentonagain：`Twenty—fourhours，ITHINK；orisittwelve？I——’
`Oh，don’tbotherME，’saidtheDuchess；`Inevercouldabidefigures!’Andwiththatshebegannursingherchildagain，singingasortoflullabytoitasshedidso，andgivingitaviolentshakeattheendofeveryline：
`Speakroughlytoyourlittleboy，Andbeathimwhenhesneezes：
Heonlydoesittoannoy，Becauseheknowsitteases。’
CHORUS。
（Inwhichthecookandthebabyjoined）：——
`Wow!wow!wow!’
WhiletheDuchesssangthesecondverseofthesong，shekepttossingthebabyviolentlyupanddown，andthepoorlittlethinghowledso，thatAlicecouldhardlyhearthewords：——
`Ispeakseverelytomyboy，Ibeathimwhenhesneezes；
ForhecanthoroughlyenjoyThepepperwhenhepleases!’
CHORUS。
`Wow!wow!wow!’
`Here!youmaynurseitabit，ifyoulike!’theDuchesssaidtoAlice，flingingthebabyatherasshespoke。`ImustgoandgetreadytoplaycroquetwiththeQueen，’andshehurriedoutoftheroom。Thecookthrewafrying—panafterherasshewentout，butitjustmissedher。
Alicecaughtthebabywithsomedifficulty，asitwasaqueer—
shapedlittlecreature，andheldoutitsarmsandlegsinalldirections，`justlikeastar—fish，’thoughtAlice。Thepoorlittlethingwassnortinglikeasteam—enginewhenshecaughtit，andkeptdoublingitselfupandstraighteningitselfoutagain，sothataltogether，forthefirstminuteortwo，itwasasmuchasshecoulddotoholdit。
Assoonasshehadmadeouttheproperwayofnursingit，（whichwastotwistitupintoasortofknot，andthenkeeptightholdofitsrightearandleftfoot，soastopreventitsundoingitself，）shecarrieditoutintotheopenair。`IFI
don’ttakethischildawaywithme，’thoughtAlice，`they’resuretokillitinadayortwo：wouldn’titbemurdertoleaveitbehind？’Shesaidthelastwordsoutloud，andthelittlethinggruntedinreply（ithadleftoffsneezingbythistime）。`Don’tgrunt，’saidAlice；`that’snotatallaproperwayofexpressingyourself。’
Thebabygruntedagain，andAlicelookedveryanxiouslyintoitsfacetoseewhatwasthematterwithit。TherecouldbenodoubtthatithadaVERYturn—upnose，muchmorelikeasnoutthanarealnose；alsoitseyesweregettingextremelysmallforababy：altogetherAlicedidnotlikethelookofthethingatall。`Butperhapsitwasonlysobbing，’shethought，andlookedintoitseyesagain，toseeiftherewereanytears。
No，therewerenotears。`Ifyou’regoingtoturnintoapig，mydear，’saidAlice，seriously，`I’llhavenothingmoretodowithyou。Mindnow!’Thepoorlittlethingsobbedagain（orgrunted，itwasimpossibletosaywhich），andtheywentonforsomewhileinsilence。
Alicewasjustbeginningtothinktoherself，`Now，whatamI
todowiththiscreaturewhenIgetithome？’whenitgruntedagain，soviolently，thatshelookeddownintoitsfaceinsomealarm。ThistimetherecouldbeNOmistakeaboutit：itwasneithermorenorlessthanapig，andshefeltthatitwouldbequiteabsurdforhertocarryitfurther。
Soshesetthelittlecreaturedown，andfeltquiterelievedtoseeittrotawayquietlyintothewood。`Ifithadgrownup，’
shesaidtoherself，`itwouldhavemadeadreadfullyuglychild：
butitmakesratherahandsomepig，Ithink。’Andshebeganthinkingoverotherchildrensheknew，whomightdoverywellaspigs，andwasjustsayingtoherself，`ifoneonlyknewtherightwaytochangethem——’whenshewasalittlestartledbyseeingtheCheshireCatsittingonaboughofatreeafewyardsoff。
TheCatonlygrinnedwhenitsawAlice。Itlookedgood—
natured，shethought：stillithadVERYlongclawsandagreatmanyteeth，soshefeltthatitoughttobetreatedwithrespect。
`CheshirePuss，’shebegan，rathertimidly，asshedidnotatallknowwhetheritwouldlikethename：however，itonlygrinnedalittlewider。`Come，it’spleasedsofar，’thoughtAlice，andshewenton。`Wouldyoutellme，please，whichwayI
oughttogofromhere？’
`Thatdependsagooddealonwhereyouwanttogetto，’saidtheCat。
`Idon’tmuchcarewhere——’saidAlice。
`Thenitdoesn’tmatterwhichwayyougo，’saidtheCat。
`——solongasIgetSOMEWHERE，’Aliceaddedasanexplanation。
`Oh，you’resuretodothat，’saidtheCat，`ifyouonlywalklongenough。’
Alicefeltthatthiscouldnotbedenied，soshetriedanotherquestion。`Whatsortofpeopleliveabouthere？’
`InTHATdirection，’theCatsaid，wavingitsrightpawround，`livesaHatter：andinTHATdirection，’wavingtheotherpaw，`livesaMarchHare。Visiteitheryoulike：they’rebothmad。’
`ButIdon’twanttogoamongmadpeople，’Aliceremarked。
`Oh，youcan’thelpthat，’saidtheCat：`we’reallmadhere。
I’mmad。You’remad。’
`HowdoyouknowI’mmad？’saidAlice。
`Youmustbe，’saidtheCat，`oryouwouldn’thavecomehere。’
Alicedidn’tthinkthatproveditatall；however，shewenton`Andhowdoyouknowthatyou’remad？’
`Tobeginwith，’saidtheCat，`adog’snotmad。Yougrantthat？’
`Isupposeso，’saidAlice。
`Well，then，’theCatwenton，`yousee，adoggrowlswhenit’sangry，andwagsitstailwhenit’spleased。NowIgrowlwhenI’mpleased，andwagmytailwhenI’mangry。ThereforeI’mmad。’
`Icallitpurring，notgrowling，’saidAlice。
`Callitwhatyoulike，’saidtheCat。`DoyouplaycroquetwiththeQueento—day？’
`Ishouldlikeitverymuch，’saidAlice，`butIhaven’tbeeninvitedyet。’
`You’llseemethere，’saidtheCat，andvanished。
Alicewasnotmuchsurprisedatthis，shewasgettingsousedtoqueerthingshappening。Whileshewaslookingattheplacewhereithadbeen，itsuddenlyappearedagain。
`By—the—bye，whatbecameofthebaby？’saidtheCat。`I’dnearlyforgottentoask。’
`Itturnedintoapig，’Alicequietlysaid，justasifithadcomebackinanaturalway。
`Ithoughtitwould，’saidtheCat，andvanishedagain。
Alicewaitedalittle，halfexpectingtoseeitagain，butitdidnotappear，andafteraminuteortwoshewalkedoninthedirectioninwhichtheMarchHarewassaidtolive。`I’veseenhattersbefore，’shesaidtoherself；`theMarchHarewillbemuchthemostinteresting，andperhapsasthisisMayitwon’tberavingmad——atleastnotsomadasitwasinMarch。’Asshesaidthis，shelookedup，andtherewastheCatagain，sittingonabranchofatree。
`Didyousaypig，orfig？’saidtheCat。
`Isaidpig，’repliedAlice；`andIwishyouwouldn’tkeepappearingandvanishingsosuddenly：youmakeonequitegiddy。’
`Allright，’saidtheCat；andthistimeitvanishedquiteslowly，beginningwiththeendofthetail，andendingwiththegrin，whichremainedsometimeaftertherestofithadgone。
`Well!I’veoftenseenacatwithoutagrin，’thoughtAlice；
`butagrinwithoutacat!It’sthemostcuriousthingIeversawinmylife!’
ShehadnotgonemuchfartherbeforeshecameinsightofthehouseoftheMarchHare：shethoughtitmustbetherighthouse，becausethechimneyswereshapedlikeearsandtheroofwasthatchedwithfur。Itwassolargeahouse，thatshedidnotliketogonearertillshehadnibbledsomemoreofthelefthandbitofmushroom，andraisedherselftoabouttwofeethigh：eventhenshewalkeduptowardsitrathertimidly，sayingtoherself`Supposeitshouldberavingmadafterall!IalmostwishI’dgonetoseetheHatterinstead!’
CHAPTERVII
AMadTea—PartyTherewasatablesetoutunderatreeinfrontofthehouse，andtheMarchHareandtheHatterwerehavingteaatit：aDormousewassittingbetweenthem，fastasleep，andtheothertwowereusingitasacushion，restingtheirelbowsonit，andtalkingoveritshead。`VeryuncomfortablefortheDormouse，’thoughtAlice；
`only，asit’sasleep，Isupposeitdoesn’tmind。’
Thetablewasalargeone，butthethreewereallcrowdedtogetheratonecornerofit：`Noroom!Noroom!’theycriedoutwhentheysawAlicecoming。`There’sPLENTYofroom!’saidAliceindignantly，andshesatdowninalargearm—chairatoneendofthetable。
`Havesomewine，’theMarchHaresaidinanencouragingtone。
Alicelookedallroundthetable，buttherewasnothingonitbuttea。`Idon’tseeanywine，’sheremarked。
`Thereisn’tany，’saidtheMarchHare。
`Thenitwasn’tverycivilofyoutoofferit，’saidAliceangrily。
`Itwasn’tverycivilofyoutositdownwithoutbeinginvited，’saidtheMarchHare。
`Ididn’tknowitwasYOURtable，’saidAlice；`it’slaidforagreatmanymorethanthree。’
`Yourhairwantscutting，’saidtheHatter。HehadbeenlookingatAliceforsometimewithgreatcuriosity，andthiswashisfirstspeech。
`Youshouldlearnnottomakepersonalremarks，’Alicesaidwithsomeseverity；`it’sveryrude。’
TheHatteropenedhiseyesverywideonhearingthis；butallheSAIDwas，`Whyisaravenlikeawriting—desk？’
`Come，weshallhavesomefunnow!’thoughtAlice。`I’mgladthey’vebegunaskingriddles。——IbelieveIcanguessthat，’sheaddedaloud。
`Doyoumeanthatyouthinkyoucanfindouttheanswertoit？’
saidtheMarchHare。
`Exactlyso，’saidAlice。
`Thenyoushouldsaywhatyoumean，’theMarchHarewenton。
`Ido，’Alicehastilyreplied；`atleast——atleastImeanwhatIsay——that’sthesamething，youknow。’
`Notthesamethingabit!’saidtheHatter。`Youmightjustaswellsaythat\"IseewhatIeat\"isthesamethingas\"IeatwhatIsee\"!’
`Youmightjustaswellsay，’addedtheMarchHare，`that\"I
likewhatIget\"isthesamethingas\"IgetwhatIlike\"!’
`Youmightjustaswellsay，’addedtheDormouse，whoseemedtobetalkinginhissleep，`that\"IbreathewhenIsleep\"isthesamethingas\"IsleepwhenIbreathe\"!’
`ItISthesamethingwithyou，’saidtheHatter，andheretheconversationdropped，andthepartysatsilentforaminute，whileAlicethoughtoverallshecouldrememberaboutravensandwriting—desks，whichwasn’tmuch。
TheHatterwasthefirsttobreakthesilence。`Whatdayofthemonthisit？’hesaid，turningtoAlice：hehadtakenhiswatchoutofhispocket，andwaslookingatituneasily，shakingiteverynowandthen，andholdingittohisear。
Aliceconsideredalittle，andthensaid`Thefourth。’
`Twodayswrong!’sighedtheHatter。`Itoldyoubutterwouldn’tsuittheworks!’headdedlookingangrilyattheMarchHare。
`ItwastheBESTbutter，’theMarchHaremeeklyreplied。
`Yes，butsomecrumbsmusthavegotinaswell，’theHattergrumbled：`youshouldn’thaveputitinwiththebread—knife。’
TheMarchHaretookthewatchandlookedatitgloomily：thenhedippeditintohiscupoftea，andlookedatitagain：buthecouldthinkofnothingbettertosaythanhisfirstremark，`ItwastheBESTbutter，youknow。’
Alicehadbeenlookingoverhisshoulderwithsomecuriosity。
`Whatafunnywatch!’sheremarked。`Ittellsthedayofthemonth，anddoesn’ttellwhato’clockitis!’
`Whyshouldit？’mutteredtheHatter。`DoesYOURwatchtellyouwhatyearitis？’
`Ofcoursenot，’Alicerepliedveryreadily：`butthat’sbecauseitstaysthesameyearforsuchalongtimetogether。’
`WhichisjustthecasewithMINE，’saidtheHatter。
Alicefeltdreadfullypuzzled。TheHatter’sremarkseemedtohavenosortofmeaninginit，andyetitwascertainlyEnglish。
`Idon’tquiteunderstandyou，’shesaid，aspolitelyasshecould。
`TheDormouseisasleepagain，’saidtheHatter，andhepouredalittlehotteauponitsnose。
TheDormouseshookitsheadimpatiently，andsaid，withoutopeningitseyes，`Ofcourse，ofcourse；justwhatIwasgoingtoremarkmyself。’
`Haveyouguessedtheriddleyet？’theHattersaid，turningtoAliceagain。
`No，Igiveitup，’Alicereplied：`what’stheanswer？’
`Ihaven’ttheslightestidea，’saidtheHatter。
`NorI，’saidtheMarchHare。
Alicesighedwearily。`Ithinkyoumightdosomethingbetterwiththetime，’shesaid，`thanwasteitinaskingriddlesthathavenoanswers。’
`IfyouknewTimeaswellasIdo，’saidtheHatter，`youwouldn’ttalkaboutwastingIT。It’sHIM。’
`Idon’tknowwhatyoumean，’saidAlice。
`Ofcourseyoudon’t!’theHattersaid，tossinghisheadcontemptuously。`IdaresayyouneverevenspoketoTime!’
`Perhapsnot，’Alicecautiouslyreplied：`butIknowIhavetobeattimewhenIlearnmusic。’
`Ah!thataccountsforit，’saidtheHatter。`Hewon’tstandbeating。Now，ifyouonlykeptongoodtermswithhim，he’ddoalmostanythingyoulikedwiththeclock。Forinstance，supposeitwerenineo’clockinthemorning，justtimetobeginlessons：
you’donlyhavetowhisperahinttoTime，androundgoestheclockinatwinkling!Half—pastone，timefordinner!’
（`Ionlywishitwas，’theMarchHaresaidtoitselfinawhisper。）
`Thatwouldbegrand，certainly，’saidAlicethoughtfully：
`butthen——Ishouldn’tbehungryforit，youknow。’
`Notatfirst，perhaps，’saidtheHatter：`butyoucouldkeepittohalf—pastoneaslongasyouliked。’
`IsthatthewayYOUmanage？’Aliceasked。
TheHattershookhisheadmournfully。`NotI!’hereplied。
`WequarrelledlastMarch——justbeforeHEwentmad，youknow——’
（pointingwithhisteaspoonattheMarchHare，）`——itwasatthegreatconcertgivenbytheQueenofHearts，andIhadtosing\"Twinkle，twinkle，littlebat!
HowIwonderwhatyou’reat!\"
Youknowthesong，perhaps？’
`I’veheardsomethinglikeit，’saidAlice。
`Itgoeson，youknow，’theHattercontinued，`inthisway：——
\"Upabovetheworldyoufly，Likeatea—trayinthesky。
Twinkle，twinkle——\"’
HeretheDormouseshookitself，andbegansinginginitssleep`Twinkle，twinkle，twinkle，twinkle——’andwentonsolongthattheyhadtopinchittomakeitstop。
`Well，I’dhardlyfinishedthefirstverse，’saidtheHatter，`whentheQueenjumpedupandbawledout，\"He’smurderingthetime!Offwithhishead!\"’
`Howdreadfullysavage!’exclaimedAlice。
`Andeversincethat，’theHatterwentoninamournfultone，`hewon’tdoathingIask!It’salwayssixo’clocknow。’
AbrightideacameintoAlice’shead。`Isthatthereasonsomanytea—thingsareputouthere？’sheasked。
`Yes，that’sit，’saidtheHatterwithasigh：`it’salwaystea—time，andwe’venotimetowashthethingsbetweenwhiles。’
`Thenyoukeepmovinground，Isuppose？’saidAlice。
`Exactlyso，’saidtheHatter：`asthethingsgetusedup。’
`Butwhathappenswhenyoucometothebeginningagain？’Aliceventuredtoask。
`Supposewechangethesubject，’theMarchHareinterrupted，yawning。`I’mgettingtiredofthis。Ivotetheyoungladytellsusastory。’
`I’mafraidIdon’tknowone，’saidAlice，ratheralarmedattheproposal。
`ThentheDormouseshall!’theybothcried。`Wakeup，Dormouse!’Andtheypincheditonbothsidesatonce。
TheDormouseslowlyopenedhiseyes。`Iwasn’tasleep，’hesaidinahoarse，feeblevoice：`Iheardeverywordyoufellowsweresaying。’
`Tellusastory!’saidtheMarchHare。
`Yes，pleasedo!’pleadedAlice。
`Andbequickaboutit，’addedtheHatter，`oryou’llbeasleepagainbeforeit’sdone。’
`Onceuponatimetherewerethreelittlesisters，’theDormousebeganinagreathurry；`andtheirnameswereElsie，Lacie，andTillie；andtheylivedatthebottomofawell——’
`Whatdidtheyliveon？’saidAlice，whoalwaystookagreatinterestinquestionsofeatinganddrinking。
`Theylivedontreacle，’saidtheDormouse，afterthinkingaminuteortwo。
`Theycouldn’thavedonethat，youknow，’Alicegentlyremarked；`they’dhavebeenill。’
`Sotheywere，’saidtheDormouse；`VERYill。’
Alicetriedtofancytoherselfwhatsuchanextraordinarywaysoflivingwouldbelike，butitpuzzledhertoomuch，soshewenton：`Butwhydidtheyliveatthebottomofawell？’
`Takesomemoretea，’theMarchHaresaidtoAlice，veryearnestly。
`I’vehadnothingyet，’Alicerepliedinanoffendedtone，`soIcan’ttakemore。’
`Youmeanyoucan’ttakeLESS，’saidtheHatter：`it’sveryeasytotakeMOREthannothing。’
`NobodyaskedYOURopinion，’saidAlice。
`Who’smakingpersonalremarksnow？’theHatteraskedtriumphantly。
Alicedidnotquiteknowwhattosaytothis：soshehelpedherselftosometeaandbread—and—butter，andthenturnedtotheDormouse，andrepeatedherquestion。`Whydidtheyliveatthebottomofawell？’
TheDormouseagaintookaminuteortwotothinkaboutit，andthensaid，`Itwasatreacle—well。’
`There’snosuchthing!’Alicewasbeginningveryangrily，buttheHatterandtheMarchHarewent`Sh!sh!’andtheDormousesulkilyremarked，`Ifyoucan’tbecivil，you’dbetterfinishthestoryforyourself。’
`No，pleasegoon!’Alicesaidveryhumbly；`Iwon’tinterruptagain。IdaresaytheremaybeONE。’
`One，indeed!’saidtheDormouseindignantly。However，heconsentedtogoon。`Andsothesethreelittlesisters——theywerelearningtodraw，youknow——’
`Whatdidtheydraw？’saidAlice，quiteforgettingherpromise。
`Treacle，’saidtheDormouse，withoutconsideringatallthistime。
`Iwantacleancup，’interruptedtheHatter：`let’sallmoveoneplaceon。’
Hemovedonashespoke，andtheDormousefollowedhim：theMarchHaremovedintotheDormouse’splace，andAliceratherunwillinglytooktheplaceoftheMarchHare。TheHatterwastheonlyonewhogotanyadvantagefromthechange：andAlicewasagooddealworseoffthanbefore，astheMarchHarehadjustupsetthemilk—jugintohisplate。
AlicedidnotwishtooffendtheDormouseagain，soshebeganverycautiously：`ButIdon’tunderstand。Wheredidtheydrawthetreaclefrom？’
`Youcandrawwateroutofawater—well，’saidtheHatter；`soIshouldthinkyoucoulddrawtreacleoutofatreacle—well——eh，stupid？’
`ButtheywereINthewell，’AlicesaidtotheDormouse，notchoosingtonoticethislastremark。
`Ofcoursetheywere’，saidtheDormouse；`——wellin。’
ThisanswersoconfusedpoorAlice，thatshelettheDormousegoonforsometimewithoutinterruptingit。
`Theywerelearningtodraw，’theDormousewenton，yawningandrubbingitseyes，foritwasgettingverysleepy；`andtheydrewallmannerofthings——everythingthatbeginswithanM——’
`WhywithanM？’saidAlice。
`Whynot？’saidtheMarchHare。
Alicewassilent。
TheDormousehadcloseditseyesbythistime，andwasgoingoffintoadoze；but，onbeingpinchedbytheHatter，itwokeupagainwithalittleshriek，andwenton：`——thatbeginswithanM，suchasmouse—traps，andthemoon，andmemory，andmuchness——
youknowyousaythingsare\"muchofamuchness\"——didyoueverseesuchathingasadrawingofamuchness？’
`Really，nowyouaskme，’saidAlice，verymuchconfused，`I
don’tthink——’
`Thenyoushouldn’ttalk，’saidtheHatter。
ThispieceofrudenesswasmorethanAlicecouldbear：shegotupingreatdisgust，andwalkedoff；theDormousefellasleepinstantly，andneitheroftheotherstooktheleastnoticeofhergoing，thoughshelookedbackonceortwice，halfhopingthattheywouldcallafterher：thelasttimeshesawthem，theyweretryingtoputtheDormouseintotheteapot。
`AtanyrateI’llnevergoTHEREagain!’saidAliceasshepickedherwaythroughthewood。`It’sthestupidesttea—partyI
everwasatinallmylife!’
Justasshesaidthis，shenoticedthatoneofthetreeshadadoorleadingrightintoit。`That’sverycurious!’shethought。
`Buteverything’scurioustoday。IthinkImayaswellgoinatonce。’
Andinshewent。
Oncemoreshefoundherselfinthelonghall，andclosetothelittleglasstable。`Now，I’llmanagebetterthistime，’
shesaidtoherself，andbeganbytakingthelittlegoldenkey，andunlockingthedoorthatledintothegarden。Thenshewenttoworknibblingatthemushroom（shehadkeptapieceofitinherpocket）tillshewasaboutafoothigh：thenshewalkeddownthelittlepassage：andTHEN——shefoundherselfatlastinthebeautifulgarden，amongthebrightflower—bedsandthecoolfountains。
CHAPTERVIII
TheQueen’sCroquet—GroundAlargerose—treestoodneartheentranceofthegarden：therosesgrowingonitwerewhite，buttherewerethreegardenersatit，busilypaintingthemred。Alicethoughtthisaverycuriousthing，andshewentnearertowatchthem，andjustasshecameuptothemsheheardoneofthemsay，`Lookoutnow，Five!Don’tgosplashingpaintovermelikethat!’
`Icouldn’thelpit，’saidFive，inasulkytone；`Sevenjoggedmyelbow。’
OnwhichSevenlookedupandsaid，`That’sright，Five!Alwayslaytheblameonothers!’
`YOU’Dbetternottalk!’saidFive。`IheardtheQueensayonlyyesterdayyoudeservedtobebeheaded!’
`Whatfor？’saidtheonewhohadspokenfirst。
`That’snoneofYOURbusiness，Two!’saidSeven。
`Yes，itIShisbusiness!’saidFive，`andI’lltellhim——itwasforbringingthecooktulip—rootsinsteadofonions。’
Sevenflungdownhisbrush，andhadjustbegun`Well，ofalltheunjustthings——’whenhiseyechancedtofalluponAlice，asshestoodwatchingthem，andhecheckedhimselfsuddenly：theotherslookedroundalso，andallofthembowedlow。
`Wouldyoutellme，’saidAlice，alittletimidly，`whyyouarepaintingthoseroses？’
FiveandSevensaidnothing，butlookedatTwo。Twobeganinalowvoice，`Whythefactis，yousee，Miss，thishereoughttohavebeenaREDrose—tree，andweputawhiteoneinbymistake；
andiftheQueenwastofinditout，weshouldallhaveourheadscutoff，youknow。Soyousee，Miss，we’redoingourbest，aforeshecomes，to——’AtthismomentFive，whohadbeenanxiouslylookingacrossthegarden，calledout`TheQueen!TheQueen!’
andthethreegardenersinstantlythrewthemselvesflatupontheirfaces。Therewasasoundofmanyfootsteps，andAlicelookedround，eagertoseetheQueen。
Firstcametensoldierscarryingclubs；thesewereallshapedlikethethreegardeners，oblongandflat，withtheirhandsandfeetatthecorners：nextthetencourtiers；thesewereornamentedalloverwithdiamonds，andwalkedtwoandtwo，asthesoldiersdid。Afterthesecametheroyalchildren；thereweretenofthem，andthelittledearscamejumpingmerrilyalonghandinhand，incouples：theywereallornamentedwithhearts。Nextcametheguests，mostlyKingsandQueens，andamongthemAlicerecognisedtheWhiteRabbit：itwastalkinginahurriednervousmanner，smilingateverythingthatwassaid，andwentbywithoutnoticingher。ThenfollowedtheKnaveofHearts，carryingtheKing’scrownonacrimsonvelvetcushion；and，lastofallthisgrandprocession，cameTHEKINGANDQUEENOFHEARTS。
Alicewasratherdoubtfulwhethersheoughtnottoliedownonherfacelikethethreegardeners，butshecouldnotremembereverhavingheardofsucharuleatprocessions；`andbesides，whatwouldbetheuseofaprocession，’thoughtshe，`ifpeoplehadalltoliedownupontheirfaces，sothattheycouldn’tseeit？’
Soshestoodstillwhereshewas，andwaited。
WhentheprocessioncameoppositetoAlice，theyallstoppedandlookedather，andtheQueensaidseverely`Whoisthis？’
ShesaidittotheKnaveofHearts，whoonlybowedandsmiledinreply。
`Idiot!’saidtheQueen，tossingherheadimpatiently；and，turningtoAlice，shewenton，`What’syourname，child？’
`MynameisAlice，sopleaseyourMajesty，’saidAliceverypolitely；butsheadded，toherself，`Why，they’reonlyapackofcards，afterall。Ineedn’tbeafraidofthem!’
`AndwhoareTHESE？’saidtheQueen，pointingtothethreegardenerswhowerelyingroundtherosetree；for，yousee，astheywerelyingontheirfaces，andthepatternontheirbackswasthesameastherestofthepack，shecouldnottellwhethertheyweregardeners，orsoldiers，orcourtiers，orthreeofherownchildren。
`HowshouldIknow？’saidAlice，surprisedatherowncourage。
`It’snobusinessofMINE。’
TheQueenturnedcrimsonwithfury，and，afterglaringatherforamomentlikeawildbeast，screamed`Offwithherhead!
Off——’
`Nonsense!’saidAlice，veryloudlyanddecidedly，andtheQueenwassilent。
TheKinglaidhishanduponherarm，andtimidlysaid`Consider，mydear：sheisonlyachild!’
TheQueenturnedangrilyawayfromhim，andsaidtotheKnave`Turnthemover!’
TheKnavedidso，verycarefully，withonefoot。
`Getup!’saidtheQueen，inashrill，loudvoice，andthethreegardenersinstantlyjumpedup，andbeganbowingtotheKing，theQueen，theroyalchildren，andeverybodyelse。
`Leaveoffthat!’screamedtheQueen。`Youmakemegiddy。’
Andthen，turningtotherose—tree，shewenton，`WhatHAVEyoubeendoinghere？’
`MayitpleaseyourMajesty，’saidTwo，inaveryhumbletone，goingdownononekneeashespoke，`weweretrying——’
`Isee!’saidtheQueen，whohadmeanwhilebeenexaminingtheroses。`Offwiththeirheads!’andtheprocessionmovedon，threeofthesoldiersremainingbehindtoexecutetheunfortunategardeners，whorantoAliceforprotection。
`Youshan’tbebeheaded!’saidAlice，andsheputthemintoalargeflower—potthatstoodnear。Thethreesoldierswanderedaboutforaminuteortwo，lookingforthem，andthenquietlymarchedoffaftertheothers。
`Aretheirheadsoff？’shoutedtheQueen。
`Theirheadsaregone，ifitpleaseyourMajesty!’thesoldiersshoutedinreply。
`That’sright!’shoutedtheQueen。`Canyouplaycroquet？’
Thesoldiersweresilent，andlookedatAlice，asthequestionwasevidentlymeantforher。
`Yes!’shoutedAlice。
`Comeon，then!’roaredtheQueen，andAlicejoinedtheprocession，wonderingverymuchwhatwouldhappennext。
`It’s——it’saveryfineday!’saidatimidvoiceatherside。
ShewaswalkingbytheWhiteRabbit，whowaspeepinganxiouslyintoherface。
`Very，’saidAlice：`——where’stheDuchess？’
`Hush!Hush!’saidtheRabbitinalow，hurriedtone。Helookedanxiouslyoverhisshoulderashespoke，andthenraisedhimselfupontiptoe，puthismouthclosetoherear，andwhispered`She’sundersentenceofexecution。’
`Whatfor？’saidAlice。
`Didyousay\"Whatapity!\"？’theRabbitasked。
`No，Ididn’t，’saidAlice：`Idon’tthinkit’satallapity。
Isaid\"Whatfor？\"’
`SheboxedtheQueen’sears——’theRabbitbegan。Alicegavealittlescreamoflaughter。`Oh，hush!’theRabbitwhisperedinafrightenedtone。`TheQueenwillhearyou!Yousee，shecameratherlate，andtheQueensaid——’
`Gettoyourplaces!’shoutedtheQueeninavoiceofthunder，andpeoplebeganrunningaboutinalldirections，tumblingupagainsteachother；however，theygotsettleddowninaminuteortwo，andthegamebegan。Alicethoughtshehadneverseensuchacuriouscroquet—groundinherlife；itwasallridgesandfurrows；theballswerelivehedgehogs，themalletsliveflamingoes，andthesoldiershadtodoublethemselvesupandtostandontheirhandsandfeet，tomakethearches。
ThechiefdifficultyAlicefoundatfirstwasinmanagingherflamingo：shesucceededingettingitsbodytuckedaway，comfortablyenough，underherarm，withitslegshangingdown，butgenerally，justasshehadgotitsnecknicelystraightenedout，andwasgoingtogivethehedgehogablowwithitshead，itWOULDtwistitselfroundandlookupinherface，withsuchapuzzledexpressionthatshecouldnothelpburstingoutlaughing：
andwhenshehadgotitsheaddown，andwasgoingtobeginagain，itwasveryprovokingtofindthatthehedgehoghadunrolleditself，andwasintheactofcrawlingaway：besidesallthis，therewasgenerallyaridgeorfurrowinthewaywherevershewantedtosendthehedgehogto，and，asthedoubled—upsoldierswerealwaysgettingupandwalkingofftootherpartsoftheground，Alicesooncametotheconclusionthatitwasaverydifficultgameindeed。
Theplayersallplayedatoncewithoutwaitingforturns，quarrellingallthewhile，andfightingforthehedgehogs；andinaveryshorttimetheQueenwasinafuriouspassion，andwentstampingabout，andshouting`Offwithhishead!’or`Offwithherhead!’aboutonceinaminute。
Alicebegantofeelveryuneasy：tobesure，shehadnotasyethadanydisputewiththeQueen，butsheknewthatitmighthappenanyminute，`andthen，’thoughtshe，`whatwouldbecomeofme？They’redreadfullyfondofbeheadingpeoplehere；thegreatwonderis，thatthere’sanyoneleftalive!’
Shewaslookingaboutforsomewayofescape，andwonderingwhethershecouldgetawaywithoutbeingseen，whenshenoticedacuriousappearanceintheair：itpuzzledherverymuchatfirst，but，afterwatchingitaminuteortwo，shemadeitouttobeagrin，andshesaidtoherself`It’stheCheshireCat：nowI
shallhavesomebodytotalkto。’
`Howareyougettingon？’saidtheCat，assoonastherewasmouthenoughforittospeakwith。
Alicewaitedtilltheeyesappeared，andthennodded。`It’snousespeakingtoit，’shethought，`tillitsearshavecome，oratleastoneofthem。’Inanotherminutethewholeheadappeared，andthenAliceputdownherflamingo，andbegananaccountofthegame，feelingverygladshehadsomeonetolistentoher。TheCatseemedtothinkthattherewasenoughofitnowinsight，andnomoreofitappeared。
`Idon’tthinktheyplayatallfairly，’Alicebegan，inratheracomplainingtone，`andtheyallquarrelsodreadfullyonecan’thearoneselfspeak——andtheydon’tseemtohaveanyrulesinparticular；atleast，ifthereare，nobodyattendstothem——andyou’venoideahowconfusingitisallthethingsbeingalive；
forinstance，there’sthearchI’vegottogothroughnextwalkingaboutattheotherendoftheground——andIshouldhavecroquetedtheQueen’shedgehogjustnow，onlyitranawaywhenitsawminecoming!’
`HowdoyouliketheQueen？’saidtheCatinalowvoice。
`Notatall，’saidAlice：`she’ssoextremely——’JustthenshenoticedthattheQueenwasclosebehindher，listening：soshewenton，`——likelytowin，thatit’shardlyworthwhilefinishingthegame。’
TheQueensmiledandpassedon。
`WhoAREyoutalkingto？’saidtheKing，goinguptoAlice，andlookingattheCat’sheadwithgreatcuriosity。
`It’safriendofmine——aCheshireCat，’saidAlice：`allowmetointroduceit。’
`Idon’tlikethelookofitatall，’saidtheKing：
`however，itmaykissmyhandifitlikes。’
`I’drathernot，’theCatremarked。
`Don’tbeimpertinent，’saidtheKing，`anddon’tlookatmelikethat!’HegotbehindAliceashespoke。
`Acatmaylookataking，’saidAlice。`I’vereadthatinsomebook，butIdon’trememberwhere。’
`Well，itmustberemoved，’saidtheKingverydecidedly，andhecalledtheQueen，whowaspassingatthemoment，`Mydear!I
wishyouwouldhavethiscatremoved!’
TheQueenhadonlyonewayofsettlingalldifficulties，greatorsmall。`Offwithhishead!’shesaid，withoutevenlookinground。
`I’llfetchtheexecutionermyself，’saidtheKingeagerly，andhehurriedoff。
Alicethoughtshemightaswellgoback，andseehowthegamewasgoingon，assheheardtheQueen’svoiceinthedistance，screamingwithpassion。Shehadalreadyheardhersentencethreeoftheplayerstobeexecutedforhavingmissedtheirturns，andshedidnotlikethelookofthingsatall，asthegamewasinsuchconfusionthatsheneverknewwhetheritwasherturnornot。Soshewentinsearchofherhedgehog。
Thehedgehogwasengagedinafightwithanotherhedgehog，whichseemedtoAliceanexcellentopportunityforcroquetingoneofthemwiththeother：theonlydifficultywas，thatherflamingowasgoneacrosstotheothersideofthegarden，whereAlicecouldseeittryinginahelplesssortofwaytoflyupintoatree。
Bythetimeshehadcaughttheflamingoandbroughtitback，thefightwasover，andboththehedgehogswereoutofsight：
`butitdoesn’tmattermuch，’thoughtAlice，`asallthearchesaregonefromthissideoftheground。’Soshetuckeditawayunderherarm，thatitmightnotescapeagain，andwentbackforalittlemoreconversationwithherfriend。
WhenshegotbacktotheCheshireCat，shewassurprisedtofindquitealargecrowdcollectedroundit：therewasadisputegoingonbetweentheexecutioner，theKing，andtheQueen，whowerealltalkingatonce，whilealltherestwerequitesilent，andlookedveryuncomfortable。
ThemomentAliceappeared，shewasappealedtobyallthreetosettlethequestion，andtheyrepeatedtheirargumentstoher，though，astheyallspokeatonce，shefounditveryhardindeedtomakeoutexactlywhattheysaid。
Theexecutioner’sargumentwas，thatyoucouldn’tcutoffaheadunlesstherewasabodytocutitofffrom：thathehadneverhadtodosuchathingbefore，andhewasn’tgoingtobeginatHIStimeoflife。
TheKing’sargumentwas，thatanythingthathadaheadcouldbebeheaded，andthatyouweren’ttotalknonsense。
TheQueen’sargumentwas，thatifsomethingwasn’tdoneaboutitinlessthannotimeshe’dhaveeverybodyexecuted，allround。
（Itwasthislastremarkthathadmadethewholepartylooksograveandanxious。）
Alicecouldthinkofnothingelsetosaybut`ItbelongstotheDuchess：you’dbetteraskHERaboutit。’
`She’sinprison，’theQueensaidtotheexecutioner：`fetchherhere。’Andtheexecutionerwentofflikeanarrow。
TheCat’sheadbeganfadingawaythemomenthewasgone，and，bythetimehehadcomebackwiththeDutchess，ithadentirelydisappeared；sotheKingandtheexecutionerranwildlyupanddownlookingforit，whiletherestofthepartywentbacktothegame。
CHAPTERIX
TheMockTurtle’sStory`Youcan’tthinkhowgladIamtoseeyouagain，youdearoldthing!’saidtheDuchess，asshetuckedherarmaffectionatelyintoAlice’s，andtheywalkedofftogether。
Alicewasverygladtofindherinsuchapleasanttemper，andthoughttoherselfthatperhapsitwasonlythepepperthathadmadehersosavagewhentheymetinthekitchen。
`WhenI’MaDuchess，’shesaidtoherself，（notinaveryhopefultonethough），`Iwon’thaveanypepperinmykitchenAT
ALL。Soupdoesverywellwithout——Maybeit’salwayspepperthatmakespeoplehot—tempered，’shewenton，verymuchpleasedathavingfoundoutanewkindofrule，`andvinegarthatmakesthemsour——andcamomilethatmakesthembitter——and——andbarley—sugarandsuchthingsthatmakechildrensweet—tempered。Ionlywishpeopleknewthat：thentheywouldn’tbesostingyaboutit，youknow——’
ShehadquiteforgottentheDuchessbythistime，andwasalittlestartledwhensheheardhervoiceclosetoherear。
`You’rethinkingaboutsomething，mydear，andthatmakesyouforgettotalk。Ican’ttellyoujustnowwhatthemoralofthatis，butIshallrememberitinabit。’
`Perhapsithasn’tone，’Aliceventuredtoremark。
`Tut，tut，child!’saidtheDuchess。`Everything’sgotamoral，ifonlyyoucanfindit。’AndshesqueezedherselfupclosertoAlice’ssideasshespoke。
Alicedidnotmuchlikekeepingsoclosetoher：first，becausetheDuchesswasVERYugly；andsecondly，becauseshewasexactlytherightheighttorestherchinuponAlice’sshoulder，anditwasanuncomfortablysharpchin。However，shedidnotliketoberude，sosheboreitaswellasshecould。
`Thegame’sgoingonratherbetternow，’shesaid，bywayofkeepinguptheconversationalittle。
`’Tisso，’saidtheDuchess：`andthemoralofthatis——\"Oh，’tislove，’tislove，thatmakestheworldgoround!\"’
`Somebodysaid，’Alicewhispered，`thatit’sdonebyeverybodymindingtheirownbusiness!’
`Ah，well!Itmeansmuchthesamething，’saidtheDuchess，digginghersharplittlechinintoAlice’sshoulderassheadded，`andthemoralofTHATis——\"Takecareofthesense，andthesoundswilltakecareofthemselves。\"’
`Howfondsheisoffindingmoralsinthings!’Alicethoughttoherself。
`Idaresayyou’rewonderingwhyIdon’tputmyarmroundyourwaist，’theDuchesssaidafterapause：`thereasonis，thatI’mdoubtfulaboutthetemperofyourflamingo。ShallItrytheexperiment？’
`HEmightbite，’Alicecautiouslyreplied，notfeelingatallanxioustohavetheexperimenttried。
`Verytrue，’saidtheDuchess：`flamingoesandmustardbothbite。Andthemoralofthatis——\"Birdsofafeatherflocktogether。\"’
`Onlymustardisn’tabird，’Aliceremarked。
`Right，asusual，’saidtheDuchess：`whataclearwayyouhaveofputtingthings!’
`It’samineral，ITHINK，’saidAlice。
`Ofcourseitis，’saidtheDuchess，whoseemedreadytoagreetoeverythingthatAlicesaid；`there’salargemustard—minenearhere。Andthemoralofthatis——\"Themorethereisofmine，thelessthereisofyours。\"’
`Oh，Iknow!’exclaimedAlice，whohadnotattendedtothislastremark，`it’savegetable。Itdoesn’tlooklikeone，butitis。’
`Iquiteagreewithyou，’saidtheDuchess；`andthemoralofthatis——\"Bewhatyouwouldseemtobe\"——orifyou’dlikeitputmoresimply——\"Neverimagineyourselfnottobeotherwisethanwhatitmightappeartoothersthatwhatyouwereormighthavebeenwasnototherwisethanwhatyouhadbeenwouldhaveappearedtothemtobeotherwise。\"’
`IthinkIshouldunderstandthatbetter，’Alicesaidverypolitely，`ifIhaditwrittendown：butIcan’tquitefollowitasyousayit。’
`That’snothingtowhatIcouldsayifIchose，’theDuchessreplied，inapleasedtone。
`Praydon’ttroubleyourselftosayitanylongerthanthat，’
saidAlice。
`Oh，don’ttalkabouttrouble!’saidtheDuchess。`ImakeyouapresentofeverythingI’vesaidasyet。’
`Acheapsortofpresent!’thoughtAlice。`I’mgladtheydon’tgivebirthdaypresentslikethat!’Butshedidnotventuretosayitoutloud。
`Thinkingagain？’theDuchessasked，withanotherdigofhersharplittlechin。
`I’vearighttothink，’saidAlicesharply，forshewasbeginningtofeelalittleworried。
`Justaboutasmuchright，’saidtheDuchess，`aspigshavetofly；
andthem——’
Buthere，toAlice’sgreatsurprise，theDuchess’svoicediedaway，eveninthemiddleofherfavouriteword`moral，’andthearmthatwaslinkedintohersbegantotremble。Alicelookedup，andtherestoodtheQueeninfrontofthem，withherarmsfolded，frowninglikeathunderstorm。
`Afineday，yourMajesty!’theDuchessbeganinalow，weakvoice。
`Now，Igiveyoufairwarning，’shoutedtheQueen，stampingonthegroundasshespoke；`eitheryouoryourheadmustbeoff，andthatinabouthalfnotime!Takeyourchoice!’
TheDuchesstookherchoice，andwasgoneinamoment。
`Let’sgoonwiththegame，’theQueensaidtoAlice；andAlicewastoomuchfrightenedtosayaword，butslowlyfollowedherbacktothecroquet—ground。
TheotherguestshadtakenadvantageoftheQueen’sabsence，andwererestingintheshade：however，themomenttheysawher，theyhurriedbacktothegame，theQueenmerelyremarkingthatamoment’sdelaywouldcostthemtheirlives。
AllthetimetheywereplayingtheQueenneverleftoffquarrellingwiththeotherplayers，andshouting`Offwithhishead!’or`Offwithherhead!’Thosewhomshesentencedweretakenintocustodybythesoldiers，whoofcoursehadtoleaveoffbeingarchestodothis，sothatbytheendofhalfanhourorsotherewerenoarchesleft，andalltheplayers，excepttheKing，theQueen，andAlice，wereincustodyandundersentenceofexecution。
ThentheQueenleftoff，quiteoutofbreath，andsaidtoAlice，`HaveyouseentheMockTurtleyet？’
`No，’saidAlice。`Idon’tevenknowwhataMockTurtleis。’
`It’sthethingMockTurtleSoupismadefrom，’saidtheQueen。
`Ineversawone，orheardofone，’saidAlice。
`Comeon，then，’saidtheQueen，`andheshalltellyouhishistory，’
Astheywalkedofftogether，AliceheardtheKingsayinalowvoice，tothecompanygenerally，`Youareallpardoned。’`Come，THAT’Sagoodthing!’shesaidtoherself，forshehadfeltquiteunhappyatthenumberofexecutionstheQueenhadordered。
TheyverysooncameuponaGryphon，lyingfastasleepinthesun。（IFyoudon’tknowwhataGryphonis，lookatthepicture。）
`Up，lazything!’saidtheQueen，`andtakethisyoungladytoseetheMockTurtle，andtohearhishistory。ImustgobackandseeaftersomeexecutionsIhaveordered’；andshewalkedoff，leavingAlicealonewiththeGryphon。Alicedidnotquitelikethelookofthecreature，butonthewholeshethoughtitwouldbequiteassafetostaywithitastogoafterthatsavageQueen：soshewaited。
TheGryphonsatupandrubbeditseyes：thenitwatchedtheQueentillshewasoutofsight：thenitchuckled。`Whatfun!’
saidtheGryphon，halftoitself，halftoAlice。
`WhatISthefun？’saidAlice。
`Why，SHE，’saidtheGryphon。`It’sallherfancy，that：theyneverexecutesnobody，youknow。Comeon!’
`Everybodysays\"comeon!\"here，’thoughtAlice，asshewentslowlyafterit：`Ineverwassoorderedaboutinallmylife，never!’
TheyhadnotgonefarbeforetheysawtheMockTurtleinthedistance，sittingsadandlonelyonalittleledgeofrock，and，astheycamenearer，Alicecouldhearhimsighingasifhisheartwouldbreak。Shepitiedhimdeeply。`Whatishissorrow？’sheaskedtheGryphon，andtheGryphonanswered，verynearlyinthesamewordsasbefore，`It’sallhisfancy，that：hehasn’tgotnosorrow，youknow。Comeon!’
SotheywentuptotheMockTurtle，wholookedatthemwithlargeeyesfulloftears，butsaidnothing。
`Thishereyounglady，’saidtheGryphon，`shewantsfortoknowyourhistory，shedo。’
`I’lltellither，’saidtheMockTurtleinadeep，hollowtone：`sitdown，bothofyou，anddon’tspeakawordtillI’vefinished。’
Sotheysatdown，andnobodyspokeforsomeminutes。Alicethoughttoherself，`Idon’tseehowhecanEVENfinish，ifhedoesn’tbegin。’Butshewaitedpatiently。
`Once，’saidtheMockTurtleatlast，withadeepsigh，`IwasarealTurtle。’
Thesewordswerefollowedbyaverylongsilence，brokenonlybyanoccasionalexclamationof`Hjckrrh!’fromtheGryphon，andtheconstantheavysobbingoftheMockTurtle。Alicewasverynearlygettingupandsaying，`Thankyou，sir，foryourinterestingstory，’butshecouldnothelpthinkingthereMUSTbemoretocome，soshesatstillandsaidnothing。
`Whenwewerelittle，’theMockTurtlewentonatlast，morecalmly，thoughstillsobbingalittlenowandthen，`wewenttoschoolinthesea。ThemasterwasanoldTurtle——weusedtocallhimTortoise——’
`WhydidyoucallhimTortoise，ifhewasn’tone？’Aliceasked。
`WecalledhimTortoisebecausehetaughtus，’saidtheMockTurtleangrily：`reallyyouareverydull!’
`Yououghttobeashamedofyourselfforaskingsuchasimplequestion，’addedtheGryphon；andthentheybothsatsilentandlookedatpoorAlice，whofeltreadytosinkintotheearth。AtlasttheGryphonsaidtotheMockTurtle，`Driveon，oldfellow!
Don’tbealldayaboutit!’andhewentoninthesewords：
`Yes，wewenttoschoolinthesea，thoughyoumayn’tbelieveit——’
`IneversaidIdidn’t!’interruptedAlice。
`Youdid，’saidtheMockTurtle。
`Holdyourtongue!’addedtheGryphon，beforeAlicecouldspeakagain。TheMockTurtlewenton。
`Wehadthebestofeducations——infact，wewenttoschooleveryday——’
`I’VEbeentoaday—school，too，’saidAlice；`youneedn’tbesoproudasallthat。’
`Withextras？’askedtheMockTurtlealittleanxiously。
`Yes，’saidAlice，`welearnedFrenchandmusic。’
`Andwashing？’saidtheMockTurtle。
