第3章

类别:其他 作者:Eugene Brieux字数:16676更新时间:19/01/02 11:25:24
\"Yes,\"saidthemother,hervoicebreaking,\"sheis,indeed,apoorlittledaughter!\" Asilencefell;forwhatcouldwordsavailinsuchasituation? Hearingthedooropen,MadameDupontstarted,forhernerveswerealla—quiverwiththestrainshehadbeenunder。Aservantcameinandspoketoher,andshesaidtoGeorge,\"Itisthedoctor。 Ifyouneedme,Ishallbeinthenextroom。\" Hersonstoodtrembling,asifhewerewaitingtheapproachofanexecutioner。Theothercameintotheroomwithoutseeinghimandhestoodforaminute,claspingandunclaspinghishands,almostovercomewithemotion。Thenhesaid,\"Good—day,doctor。\"Asthemanstaredathim,surprisedandpuzzled,headded,\"Youdon’trecognizeme?\" Thedoctorlookedagain,moreclosely。Georgewasexpectinghimtobreakoutinrage;butinsteadhisvoicefelllow。\"You!\"heexclaimed。\"Itisyou!\" Atlast,inavoiceofdiscouragementthanofanger,hewenton,\"Yougotmarried,andyouhaveachild!AfterallthatItoldyou!Youareawretch!\" \"Sir,\"criedGeorge,\"letmeexplaintoyou!\" \"Notaword!\"exclaimedtheother。\"Therecanbenoexplanationforwhatyouhavedone。\" Asilencefollowed。Theyoungmandidnotknowwhattosay。 Finally,stretchingouthisarms,hepleaded,\"Youwilltakecareofmylittledaughterallthesame,willyounot?\" Theotherturnedawaywithdisgust。\"Imbecile!\"hesaid。 Georgedidnotheartheword。\"Iwasabletowaitonlysixmonths,\"hemurmured。 Thedoctoransweredinavoiceofcoldself—repression,\"Thatisenough,sir!Allthatdoesnotconcernme。Ihavedonewrongeventoletyouseemyindignation。Ishouldhaveleftyoutojudgeyourself。Ihavenothingtodoherebutwiththepresentandwiththefuture——withtheinfantandwiththenurse。\" \"Sheisn’tindanger?\"criedGeorge。 \"Thenurseisindangerofbeingcontaminated。\" ButGeorgehadnotbeenthinkingaboutthenurse。\"Imeanmychild,\"hesaid。 \"Justatpresentthesymptomsarenotdisturbing。\" Georgewaited;afterawhilehebegan,\"Youweresayingaboutthenurse。WillyouconsentthatIcallmymother?SheknowsbetterthanI。\" \"Asyouwish,\"wasthereply。 Theyoungmanstartedtothedoor,butcameback,interribledistress。\"Ihaveoneprayertoofferyousir;arrangeitsothatmywife——sothatnoonewillknow。IfmywifelearnedthatitisIwhoamthecause——!ItisforherthatIimploreyou! She——sheisn’ttoblame。\" Saidthedoctor:\"Iwilldoeverythinginmypowerthatshemaybekeptignorantofthetruenatureofthedisease。\" \"Oh,howIthankyou!\"murmuredGeorge。\"HowIthankyou!\" \"Donotthankme;itisforher,andnotforyou,thatIwillconsenttolie。\" \"Andmymother?\" \"Yourmotherknowsthetruth。\" \"But——\" \"Iprayyou,sir——wehaveenoughtotalkabout,andveryseriousmatters。\" SoGeorgewenttothedoorandcalledhismother。Sheenteredandgreetedthedoctor,holdingherselferect,andstrivingtokeepthesignsofgriefandterrorfromherface。Shesignedtothedoctortotakeaseat,andthenseatedherselfbyalittletablenearhim。 \"MadameDupont,\"hebegan,\"Ihaveprescribedacourseoftreatmentforthechild。Ihopetobeabletoimproveitscondition,andtopreventanynewdevelopments。Butmydutyandyoursdoesnotstopthere;ifthereisstilltime,itisnecessarytoprotectthehealthofthenurse。\" \"Telluswhatitisnecessarytodo,Doctor?\"saidshe。 \"Thewomanmuststopnursingthechild。\" \"Youmeanwehavetochangethenurse?\" \"Madame,thechildcannolongerbebroughtupatthebreast,eitherbythatnurseorbyanyothernurse。\" \"Butwhy,sir?\" \"Becausethechildwouldgiveherdiseasetothewomanwhogavehermilk。\" \"But,Doctor,ifweputheronthebottle——ourlittleone——shewilldie!\" AndsuddenlyGeorgeburstoutintosobs。\"Oh,mypoorlittledaughter!MyGod,myGod!\" Saidthedoctor,\"Ifthefeedingiswellattendedto,withsterilizedmilk——\" \"Thatcandoverywellforhealthyinfants,\"brokeinMadameDupont。\"Butattheageofthreemonthsonecannottakefromthebreastababylikeours,frailandill。Morethananyothersuchaninfanthasneedofanurse——isthatnottrue?\" \"Yes,\"thedoctoradmitted,\"thatistrue。But——\" \"Inthatcase,betweenthelifeofthechild,andthehealthofthenurse,youunderstandperfectlywellthatmychoiceismade。\" BetweenherwordsthedoctorheardthesobbingofGeorge,whoseheadwasburiedinhisarms。\"Madame,\"hesaid,\"yourloveforthatbabyhasjustcausedyoutouttersomethingferocious!Itisnotforyoutochoose。Itisnotforyoutochoose。Iforbidthenursing。Thehealthofthatwomandoesnotbelongtoyou。\" \"No,\"criedthegrandmother,wildly,\"nordoesthehealthofoutchildbelongtoyou!Ifthereisahopeofsavingit,thathopeisingivingitmorecarethananyotherchild;andyouwouldwishthatIputituponamodeofnourishmentwhichthedoctorscondemn,evenforvigorousinfants!YouexpectthatIwillletmyselfbetakeninlikethat?Iansweryou:sheshallhavethemilkwhichsheneeds,mypoorlittleone!Iftherewasasinglethingthatonecoulddotosaveher——Ishouldbeacriminaltoneglectit!\"AndMadameDupontbrokeout,withfuriousscorn,\"Thenurse!Thenurse!Weshallknowhowtodoourduty——weshalltakecareofher,repayher。Butourchildbeforeall!Nosir,no!EverythingthatcanbedonetosaveourbabyIshalldo,letitcostwhatitwill。Todowhatyousay——youdon’trealizeit——itwouldbeasifIshouldkillthechild!\"Intheendtheagonizedwomanburstintotears。\"Oh,mypoorlittleangel!Mylittlesavior!\" Georgehadneverceasedsobbingwhilehismotherspoke;attheselastwordshissobsbecameloudcries。Hestruckthefloorwithhisfoot,hetorehishair,asifheweresufferingfromviolentphysicalpain。\"Oh,oh,oh!\"hecried。\"Mylittlechild!Mylittlechild!\"Andthen,inahorrifiedwhispertohimself,\"I amawretch!Acriminal!\" \"Madame,\"saidthedoctor,\"youmustcalmyourself;youmustbothcalmyourselves。Youwillnothelpoutthesituationbylamentations。Youmustlearntotakeitwithcalmness。\" MadameDupontsetherlipstogether,andwithapainfuleffortrecoveredherself—control。\"Youareright,sir,\"shesaid,inalowvoice。\"Iaskyourpardon;butifyouonlyknewwhatthatchildmeanstome!Ilostoneatthatage。Iamanoldwoman,I amawidow——Ihadhardlyhopedtolivelongenoughtobeagrandmother。But,asyousay——wemustbecalm。\"Sheturnedtotheyoungman,\"Calmyourself,myson。Itisapoorwaytoshowourloveforthechild,toabandonourselvestotears。Letustalk,Doctor,andseriously——coldly。ButIdeclaretoyouthatnothingwilleverinducemetoputthechildonthebottle,whenIknowthatitmightkillher。ThatisallIcansay。\" Thedoctorreplied:\"Thisisn’tthefirsttimethatIfindmyselfinthepresentsituation。Madame,Ideclaretoyouthatalways——ALWAYS,youunderstand——personswhohaverejectedmyadvicehavehadreasontorepentitcruelly。\" \"TheonlythingofwhichIshouldrepent——\"begantheother。 \"Yousimplydonotknow,\"interruptedthedoctor,\"whatsuchanurseiscapableof。Youcannotimaginewhatbitterness—— legitimatebitterness,youunderstand——joinedtotherapacity,thecupidity,themischief—makingimpulse——mightinspirethesepeopletodo。ForthemtheBOURGEOISisalwayssomewhatofanenemy;andwhentheyfindthemselvesinpositiontoavengetheirinferiority,theyareferocious。\" \"Butwhatcouldthewomando?\" \"Whatcouldshedo?Shecouldbringlegalproceedingsagainstyou。\" \"Butsheismuchtoostupidtohavethatidea。\" \"Otherswillputitintohermind。\" \"Sheistoopoortopaythepreliminaryexpenses。\" \"Anddoyouproposethentoprofitbyherignoranceandstupidity?Besides,shecouldobtainjudicialassistance。\" \"Why,surely,\"exclaimedMadameDupont,\"suchathingwasneverheardof!Doyoumeanthat?\" \"Iknowadozenprosecutionsofthatsort;andalwayswhentherehasbeencertainty,theparentshavelosttheircase。\" \"Butsurely,Doctor,youmustbemistaken!Notinacaselikeours——notwhenitisaquestionofsavingthelifeofapoorlittleinnocent!\" \"Oftentimesexactlysuchfactshavebeenpresented。\" HereGeorgebrokein。\"Icangiveyouthedatesofthedecisions。\"Herosefromhischair,gladofanopportunitytobeuseful。\"Ihavethebooks,\"hesaid,andtookonefromthecaseandbroughtittothedoctor。 \"Allofthatisnouse——\"interposedthemother。 ButthedoctorsaidtoGeorge,\"Youwillbeabletoconvinceyourself。Theparentshavebeenforcedonceortwicetopaythenursearegularincome,andatothertimestheyhavehadtopayheranindemnity,ofwhichthefigurehasvariedbetweenthreeandeightthousandfrancs。\" MadameDupontwasreadywithareplytothis。\"Neverfear,sir! Ifthereshouldbeasuit,weshouldhaveagoodlawyer。Weshallbeabletopayandchoosethebest——andhewoulddemand,withoutdoubt,whichofthetwo,thenurseorthechild,hasgiventhediseasetotheother。\" Thedoctorwasstaringatherinhorror。\"Doyounotperceivethatwouldbeamonstrousthingtodo?\" \"Oh,Iwouldnothavetosayit,\"wasthereply。\"Thelawyerwouldseetoit——isnotthathisprofession?Mypointisthis: byonemeansoranotherhewouldmakeuswinourcase。\" \"Andthescandalthatwouldresult,\"repliedtheother。\"Haveyouthoughtofthat?\" HereGeorge,whohadbeenlookingoverhislaw—books,brokein。 \"Doctor,permitmetogiveyoualittleinformation。Incasesofthissort,thenamesareneverprinted。\" \"Yes,buttheyarespokenatthehearings。\" \"That’strue。\" \"Andareyoucertainthattherewillnotbeanynewspapertoprintthejudgment?\" \"Whatwon’ttheystoopto,\"exclaimedMadameDupont——\"thosefilthyjournals!\" \"Ah,\"saidtheother,\"andseewhatascandal?Whatashameitwouldbetoyou!\" \"Thedoctorisright,mother,\"exclaimedtheyoungman。 ButMadameDupontwasnotyetconvinced。\"Wewillpreventthewomanfromtakinganysteps;wewillgiveherwhatshedemandsfromus。\" \"Butthen,\"saidtheother,\"youwillgiveyourselvesuptotheriskofblackmail。Iknowafamilywhichhasbeenthusheldupforovertwelveyears。\" \"Ifyouwillpermitme,Doctor,\"saidGeorge,timidly,\"shecouldbemadetosignareceipt。\" \"Forpaymentinfull?\"askedthedoctor,scornfully。 \"Evenso。\" \"Andthen,\"addedhismother,\"shewouldbemorethandelightedtogobacktohercountrywithafullpurse。Shewouldbeabletobuyalittlehouseandabitofground——inthatcountryonedoesn’tneedsomuchinordertolive。\" Atthismomenttherewasatapuponthedoor,andthenurseentered。Shewasacountrywoman,robust,rosy—cheeked,fairlyburstingwithhealth。Whenshespokeonegottheimpressionthathervoicewasmorethanshecouldcontain。Itdidnotbelonginadrawing—room,butundertheopenskyofhercountryhome。 \"Sir,\"shesaid,addressingthedoctor,\"thebabyisawake。\" \"Iwillgoandseeher,\"wasthereply;andthentoMadameDupont,\"Wewilltakeupthisconversationlateron。\" \"Certainly,\"saidthemother。\"Willyouhaveneedofthenurse?\" \"No,Madame,\"thedoctoranswered。 \"Nurse,\"saidthemother,\"sitdownandrest。Waitaminute,I wishtospeaktoyou。\"Asthedoctorwentout,shetookhersontoonesideandwhisperedtohim,\"Iknowthewaytoarrangeeverything。Ifweletherknowwhatisthematter,andifsheaccepts,thedoctorwillhavenothingmoretosay。Isn’tthatso?\" \"Obviously,\"repliedtheson。 \"Iamgoingtopromisethatwewillgivehertwothousandfrancswhenshegoesaway,ifshewillconsenttocontinuenursingthechild。\" \"Twothousandfrancs?\"saidtheother。\"Isthatenough?\" \"Iwillsee,\"wasthereply。\"Ifshehesitates,Iwillgofurther。Letmeattendtoit。\" Georgenoddedhisassent,andMadameDupontreturnedtothenurse。\"Youknow,\"shesaid,\"thatourchildisalittlesick?\" Theotherlookedatherinsurprise。\"Whyno,ma’am!\" \"Yes,\"saidthegrandmother。 \"But,ma’am,Ihavetakenthebestofcareofher;Ihavealwayskeptherproper。\" \"Iamnotsayinganythingtothecontrary,\"saidMadameDupont,\"butthechildissick,thedoctorshavesaidit。\" Thenursewasnottobepersuaded;shethoughttheyweregettingreadytoscoldher。\"Humph,\"shesaid,\"that’safinething——thedoctors!Iftheycouldn’talwaysfindsomethingwrongyou’dsaytheydidn’tknowtheirbusiness。\" \"Butourdoctorisagreatdoctor;andyouhaveseenyourselfthatourchildhassomelittlepimples。\" \"Ah,ma’am,\"saidthenurse,\"that’stheheat——it’snothingbuttheheatofthebloodbreakingout。Youdon’tneedtobotheryourself;Itellyouit’sonlythechild’sblood。It’snotmyfault;Isweartoyouthatshehadnotlackedanything,andthatIhavealwayskeptherproper。\" \"Iamnotreproachingyou——\" \"Whatistheretoreproachmefor?Oh,whatbadluck!She’stiny——thelittleone——she’sabitfeeble;butLordsaveus,she’sacitychild!Andshe’sgettingalongallright,Itellyou。\" \"No,\"persistedMadameDupont,\"Itellyou——shehasgotacoldinherhead,andshehasaneruptionatthebackofthethroat。\" \"Well,\"criedthenurse,angrily,\"ifshehas,it’sbecausethedoctorscratchedherwiththatspoonheputintohermouthwrongendfirst!Acoldinthehead?Yes,that’strue;butifshehascaughtcold,Ican’tsaywhen,Idon’tknowanythingaboutit—— nothing,nothingatall。Ihavealwayskeptherwellcovered; she’salwayshadasmuchasthreecoversonher。Thetruthis,itwaswhenyoucame,thetimebeforelast;youwereallthetimeinsistinguponopeningthewindowsinthehouse!\" \"ButoncemoreItellyou,\"criedMadameDupont,\"wearenotputtinganyblameonyou。\" \"Yes,\"criedthewoman,morevehemently。\"Iknowwhatthatkindoftalkmeans。It’snouse——whenyou’reapoorcountrywoman。\" \"Whatareyouimaginingnow?\"demandedtheother。 \"Oh,that’sallright。It’snousewhenyou’reapoorcountrywoman。\" \"Irepeattoyouoncemore,\"criedMadameDupont,withdifficultycontrollingherimpatience,\"wehavenothingwhatevertoblameyoufor。\" Butthenursebegantoweep。\"IfIhadknownthatanythinglikethiswascomingtome——\" \"Wehavenothingtoblameyoufor,\"declaredtheother。\"Weonlywishtowarnyouthatyoumightpossiblycatchthediseaseofthechild。\" Thewomanpouted。\"Acoldinthehead!\"sheexclaimed。\"Well,ifIcatchit,itwon’tbethefirsttime。Iknowhowtoblowmynose。\" \"Butyoumightalsogetthepimples。\" Atthisthenurseburstintolaughtersoloudthatthebric—a—bracrattled。\"Oh,oh,oh!Dearlady,letmetellyou,weain’tcityfolks,weain’t;wedon’thavesuchsoftskins。 Whatsortoftalkisthat?Pimples——whatdifferencewouldthatmaketopoorfolkslikeus?Wedon’thaveawhitecomplexionliketheladiesofParis。Weareoutalldayinthefields,inthesunandtherain,insteadofrubbingcoldcreamonourmuzzles!Nooffense,ma’am——butIsayifyou’relookingforanexcusetogetridofme,youmustgetabetteronethanthat。\" \"Excuse!\"exclaimedtheother。\"Whatintheworlddoyoumean?\" \"Oh,Iknow!\"saidthenurse,noddingherhead。 \"Butspeak!\" \"It’snouse,whenyou’reonlyapoorcountrywoman。\" \"Idon’tunderstandyou!IsweartoyouthatIdon’tunderstandyou!\" \"Well,\"sneeredtheother,\"Iunderstand。\" \"Butthen——explainyourself。\" \"No,Idon’twanttosayit。\" \"Butyoumust;Iwishit。\" \"Well——\" \"Goahead。\" \"I’monlyapoorcountrywoman,butIamnomorestupidthantheothers,forallthat。Iknowperfectlywellwhatyourtricksmean。Mr。Georgeherehasbeengrumblingbecauseyoupromisedmethirtyfrancsmoreamonth,ifIcametoParis。\"Andthen,turningupontheother,shewenton——\"But,sir,isn’titonlynatural?Don’tIhavetoputmyownchildawaysomewhereselse? Andthen,canmyhusbandliveonhisappetite?We’renothingbutpoorcountrypeople,weare。\" \"Youaremakingamistake,nurse,\"brokeinGeorge。\"Itisnothingatallofthatsort;motherisquiteright。Iamsofarfromwantingtoreproachyou,that,onthecontrary,Ithinkshehadnotpromisedenough,andIwanttomakeyou,formypart,anotherpromise。Whenyougoaway,whenbabyisoldenoughtobeweaned,bywayofthankingyou,wewishtogiveyou——\" MadameDupontbrokein,hurriedly,\"Wewishtogiveyou,——overandaboveyourwages,youunderstand——wewishtogiveyoufivehundredfrancs,andperhapsathousand,ifthelittleoneisaltogetheringoodhealth。Youunderstand?\" Thenursestaredather,stupefied。\"Youwillgivemefivehundredfrancs——formyself?\"Shesoughttocomprehendthewords。 \"Butthatwasnotagreed,youdon’thavetodothatatall。\" \"No,\"admittedMadameDupont。 \"Butthen,\"whisperedthenurse,halftoherself,\"that’snotnatural。\" \"Yes,\"theotherhurriedon,\"itisbecausethebabywillhaveneedofextracare。Youwillhavetotakemoretrouble;youwillhavetogiveitmedicines;yourtaskwillbealittlemoredelicate,alittlemoredifficult。\" \"Oh,yes;thenit’ssothatIwillbesuretotakecareofher? Iunderstand。\" \"Thenit’sagreed?\"exclaimedMadameDupont,withrelief。 \"Yesma’am,\"saidthenurse。 \"Andyouwon’tcomelaterontomakereproachestous?Weunderstandoneanotherclearly?Wehavewarnedyouthatthechildissickandthatyoucouldcatchthedisease。Becauseofthat,becauseofthespecialneedofcarewhichshehas,wepromiseyoufivehundredfrancsattheendofthenursing。 That’sallright,isit? \"But,mylady,\"criedthenurse,allhercupidityawakened,\"youspokejustnowofathousandfrancs。\" \"Verywell,then,athousandfrancs。\" Georgepassedbehindthenurseandgothismotherbythearm,drawinghertooneside。\"Itwouldbeamistake,\"hewhispered,\"ifwedidnotmakehersignanagreementtoallthat。\" Hismotherturnedtothenurse。\"Inorderthattheremaybenomisunderstandingaboutthesum——youseehowitis,IhadforgottenalreadythatIhadspokenofathousandfrancs——wewilldrawupalittlepaper,andyou,onyourpart,willwriteoneforus。\" \"Verygood,ma’am,\"saidthenurse,delightedwiththeideaofsoimportantatransaction。\"Why,it’sjustasyoudowhenyourentahouse!\" \"Herecomesthedoctor,\"saidtheother。\"Come,nurse,itisagreed?\" \"Yes,ma’am,\"wastheanswer。Butallthesame,asshewentoutshehesitatedandlookedsharplyfirstatthedoctor,andthenatGeorgeandhismother。Shesuspectedthatsomethingwaswrong,andshemeanttofindoutifshecould。 ThedoctorseatedhimselfinGeorge’sofficechair,asiftowriteaprescription。\"Thechild’sconditionremainsthesame,\" hesaid;\"nothingdisturbing。\" \"Doctor,\"saidMadameDupont,gravely,\"fromnowon,youwillbeabletodevoteyourattentiontothebabyandthenursewithoutanyscruple。Duringyourabsencewehavearrangedmattersnicely。Thenursehasbeeninformedaboutthesituation,andshedoesnotmind。Shehasagreedtoacceptanindemnity,andtheamounthasbeenstated。\" Butthedoctordidnottakethesetidingsastheotherhadhopedhemight。Hereplied:\"Themaladywhichthenursewillalmostinevitablycontractinfeedingthechildistoograveinitsconsequences。Suchconsequencesmightgoasfarascompletehelplessness,evenasfarasdeath。SoIsaythattheindemnity,whateveritmightbe,wouldnotpaythedamage。\" \"But,\"exclaimedtheother,\"sheacceptsit!Sheismistressofherself,andshehastheright——\" \"Iamnotatallcertainthatshehastherighttosellherownhealth。AndIamcertainthatshehasnottherighttosellthehealthofherhusbandandherchildren。Ifshebecomesinfected,itisnearlycertainthatshewillcommunicatethediseasetothem;thehealthandthelifeofthechildrenshemighthavelateronwouldbegreatlycompromised。Suchthingsshecannotpossiblysell。Come,madame,youmustseethatabargainofthissortisn’tpossible。Iftheevilhasnotbeendone,youmustdoeverythingtoavoidit。\" \"Sir,\"protestedthemother,wildly,\"youdonotdefendourinterests!\" \"Madame,\"wasthereply,\"Idefendthosewhoareweakest。\" \"Ifwehadcalledinourownphysician,whoknowsus,\"sheprotested,\"hewouldhavetakensideswithus。\" Thedoctorrose,withaseverelookonhisface。\"Idoubtit,\" hesaid,\"butthereisstilltimetocallhim。\" Georgebrokeinwithacryofdistress。\"Sir,Iimploreyou!\" Andthemotherinturncried。\"Don’tabandonus,sir!Yououghttomakeallowances!Ifyouknewwhatthatchildistome!I tellyouitseemstomeasifIhadwaitedforhercominginordertodie。Havepityuponus!Havepityuponher!Youspeakoftheweakest——itisnotshewhoistheweakest?Youhaveseenher,youhaveseenthatpoorlittlebaby,soemaciated!Youhaveseenwhataheapofsufferingsheisalready;andcannotthatinspireinyouanysympathy?Iprayyou,sir——Iprayyou!\" \"Ipityher,\"saidthedoctor,\"Iwouldliketosaveher——andI willdoeverythingforher。Butdonotaskmetosacrificetoafeebleinfant,withanuncertainandprobablyunhappylife,thehealthofasoundandrobustwoman。Itisuselessforustocontinuesuchadiscussionasthat。\" WhereuponMadameDupontleapedupinsuddenfrenzy。\"VeryWell!\" sheexclaimed。\"Iwillnotfollowyourcounsels,Iwillnotlistentoyou!\" Saidthedoctorinasolemnvoice:\"Thereisalreadysomeoneherewhoregretsthathedidnotlistentome。\" \"Yes,\"moanedGeorge,\"tomymisfortune,tothemisfortuneofallofus。\" ButMadameDupontwasquitebesideherself。\"Verywell!\"shecried。\"Ifitisafault,ifitisacrime,ifIshallhavetosufferremorseforitinthislife,andallthepunishmentsinthelifetocome——Iacceptitallformyselfalone!Myselfalone,Itakethatresponsibility!Itisfrightfullyheavy,butIacceptit。IamprofoundlyaChristiansir;Ibelieveineternaldamnation;buttosavemylittlechildIconsenttolosemysoulforever。Yes,mymindismadeup——Iwilldoeverythingtosavethatlife!LetGodjudgeme;andifhecondemnsme,somuchtheworseforme!\" Thedoctoranswered:\"ThatresponsibilityisonewhichIcannotletyoutake,foritwillbenecessarythatIshouldacceptmypart,andIrefuseit。\" \"Whatwillyoudo?\" \"Ishallwarnthenurse。Ishallinformherexactly,completely——somethingwhichyouhavenotdone,Ifeelsure。\" \"What?\"criedMadameDupont,wildly。\"You,adoctor,calledintoafamilywhichgivesyouitsentireconfidence,whichhandsovertoyouitsmostterriblesecrets,itsmosthorriblemiseries——youwouldbetraythem?\" \"Itisnotabetrayal,\"repliedtheman,sternly。\"Itissomethingwhichthelawcommands;andevenifthelawweresilent,Iwouldnotpermitafamilyofworthypeopletogoastraysofarastocommitacrime。EitherIgiveupthecase,oryouhavethenursingofthechildstopped。\" \"Youthreaten!Youthreaten!\"criedthewoman,almostfrantic。 \"Youabusethepowerwhichyourknowledgegivesyou!Youknowthatitisyouwhoseattentionweneedbythatlittlecradle;youknowthatwebelieveinyou,andyouthreatentoabandonus! Yourabandonmentmeansthedeathofthechild,perhaps!AndifI listentoyou,ifwestopthenursingofthechild——thatalsomeansherdeath!\" Sheflungupherhandslikeamadcreature。\"Andyetthereisnoothermeans!Ah,myGod!Whydoyounotletitbepossibleformetosacrificemyself?Iwouldwishnothingmorethantobeabletodoit——ifonlyyoumighttakemyoldbody,myoldflesh,myoldbones——ifonlyImightserveforsomething!HowquicklywouldIconsentthatitshouldinfectme——thisatrociousmalady! HowIwouldoffermyselftoit——withwhatjoys,withwhatdelights——howeverdisgusting,howeverfrightfulitmightbe,howevermuchtobedreaded!Yes,Iwouldtakeitwithoutfear,withoutregret,ifmypooroldemptybreastsmightstillgivetothechildthemilkwhichwouldpreserveitslife!\" Shestopped;andGeorgesprangsuddenlyfromhisseat,andfledtoherandflunghimselfdownuponhiskneesbeforeher,minglinghissobsandtearswithhers。 Thedoctorroseandmovedabouttheroom,unableanylongertocontrolhisdistress。\"Oh,thepoorpeople!\"hemurmuredtohimself。\"Thepoor,poorpeople!\" Thestormpassed,andMadameDupont,whowasawomanofstrongcharacter,gotherselftogether。Facingthedoctoragain,shesaid,\"Come,sir,telluswhatwehavetodo。\" \"Youmuststopthenursing,andkeepthewomanhereasadrynurse,inorderthatshemaynotgoawaytocarrythediseaseelsewhere。Donotexaggeratetoyourselfthedangerwhichwillresulttothechild。Iam,intruth,extremelymovedbyyoursuffering,andIwilldoeverything——Iswearittoyou——thatyourbabymayrecoverasquicklyaspossibleitsperfecthealth。I hopetosucceed,andthatsoon。AndnowImustleaveyouuntiltomorrow。\" \"Thankyou,Doctor,thankyou,\"saidMadameDupont,faintly。 Theyoungmanroseandaccompaniedthedoctortothedoor。Hecouldnotbringhimselftospeak,butstoodhanginghisheaduntiltheotherwasgone。Thenhecametohismother。Hesoughttoembraceher,butsherepelledhim——withoutviolence,butfirmly。 Hersonsteppedbackandputhishandsoverhisface。\"Forgiveme!\"hesaid,inabrokenvoice。\"Arewenotunhappyenough,withouthatingeachother?\" Hismotheranswered:\"Godhaspunishedyouforyourdebauchbystrikingatyourchild。\" But,grief—strickenastheyoungmanwas,hecouldnotbelievethat。\"Impossible!\"hesaid。\"ThereisnotevenamansufficientlywickedorunjusttocommittheactwhichyouattributetoyourGod!\" \"Yes,\"saidhismother,sadly,\"youbelieveinnothing。\" \"IbelieveinnosuchGodasthat,\"heanswered。 Asilencefollowed。Whenitwasbroken,itwasbytheentranceofthenurse。Shehadopenedthedooroftheroomandhadbeenstandingthereforsomemoments,unheeded。Finallyshesteppedforward。\"Madame,\"shesaid,\"Ihavethoughtitover;Iwouldrathergobacktomyhomeatonce,andhaveonlythefivehundredfrancs。\" MadameDupontstaredatherinconsternation。\"Whatisthatyouaresaying?Youwanttoreturntoyourhome?\" \"Yes,ma’am,\"wastheanswer。 \"But,\"criedGeorge,\"onlytenminutesagoyouwerenotthinkingofit。\" \"Whathashappenedsincethen?\"demandedMadameDupont。 \"Ihavethoughtitover。\" \"Thoughtitover?\" \"Well,Iamgettinglonesomeformylittleoneandformyhusband。\" \"Inthelasttenminutes?\"exclaimedGeorge。 \"Theremustbesomethingelse,\"hismotheradded。\"Evidentlytheremustbesomethingelse。\" \"No!\"insistedthenurse。 \"ButIsayyes!\" \"Well,I’mafraidtheairofParismightnotbegoodforme。\" \"Youhadbetterwaitandtryit。\" \"Iwouldrathergobackatoncetomyhome。\" \"Come,now,\"criedMadameDupont,\"telluswhy?\" \"Ihavetoldyou。Ihavethoughtitover。\" \"Thoughtwhatover?\" \"Well,Ihavethought。\" \"Oh,\"criedthemother,\"whatastupidreply!’Ihavethoughtitover!Ihavethoughtitover!’ThoughtWHATover,Iwanttoknow!\" \"Well,everything。\" \"Don’tyouknowhowtotelluswhat?\" \"Itellyou,everything。\" \"Why,\"exclaimedMadameDupont,\"youareanimbecile!\" Georgesteppedbetweenhismotherandthenurse。\"Letmetalktoher,\"hesaid。 Thewomancamebacktoheroldformula:\"Iknowthatwe’reonlypoorcountrypeople。\" \"Listentome,nurse,\"saidtheyoungman。\"Onlyalittlewhileagoyouwereafraidthatwewouldsendyouaway。Youweresatisfiedwiththewageswhichmymotherhadfixed。Inadditiontothosewageswehadpromisedyouagoodsumwhenyoureturnedtoyourhome。Nowyoutellusthatyouwanttogoaway。Yousee?Allatonce。Theremustbesomereason;letusunderstandit。Theremustcertainlybeareason。Hasanybodydoneanythingtoyou?\" \"No,sir,\"saidthewoman,droppinghereyes。 \"Well,then?\" \"Ihavethoughtitover。\" Georgeburstout,\"Don’tgoonrepeatingalwaysthesamething—— ’Ihavethoughtitover!’That’snottellingusanything。\" Controllinghimself,headded,gently,\"Come,tellmewhyyouwanttogoaway?\" Therewasasilence。\"Well?\"hedemanded。 \"Itellyou,Ihavethought——\" Georgeexclaimedindespair,\"It’sasifoneweretalkingtoablockofwood!\" Hismothertookuptheconversationagain。\"Youmustrealize,youhavenottherighttogoaway。\" Thewomananswered,\"IWANTtogo。\" \"ButIwillnotletyouleaveus。\" \"No,\"interruptedGeorgeangrily,\"lethergo;wecannotfastenherhere。\" \"Verywell,then,\"criedtheexasperatedmother,\"sinceyouwanttogo,go!ButIhavecertainlytherighttosaytoyouthatyouareasstupidastheanimalsonyourfarm!\" \"Idon’tsaythatIamnot,\"answeredthewoman。 \"Iwillnotpayyouthemonthwhichhasjustbegun,andyouwillpayyourrailroadfareforyourself。\" Theotherdrewbackwithalookofanger。\"Oho!\"shecried。 \"We’llseeaboutthat!\" \"Yes,we’llseeaboutit!\"criedGeorge。\"Andyouwillgetoutofhereatonce。Takeyourselfoff——Iwillhavenomoretodowithyou。Goodevening。\" \"No,George,\"protestedhismother,\"don’tlosecontrolofyourself。\"Andthen,withagreateffortatcalmness,\"Thatcannotbeserious,nurse!Answerme。\" \"Iwouldrathergooffrightawaytomyhome,andonlyhavemyfivehundredfrancs。\" \"WHAT?\"criedGeorge,inconsternation。 \"What’sthatyouaretellingme?\"exclaimedMadameDupont。 \"Fivehundredfrancs?\"repeatedherson。 \"Whatfivehundredfrancs?\"echoedthemother。 \"Thefivehundredfrancsyoupromisedme,\"saidthenurse。 \"Wehavepromisedyoufivehundredfrancs?WE?\" \"Yes。\" \"Whenthechildshouldbeweaned,andifweshouldbesatisfiedwithyou!Thatwasourpromise。\" \"No。YousaidyouwouldgivethemtomewhenIwasleaving。NowIamleaving,andIwantthem。\" MadameDupontdrewherselfup,haughtily。\"Inthefirstplace,\" shesaid,\"kindlyobligemebyspeakingtomeinanothertone;doyouunderstand?\" Thewomananswered,\"Youhavenothingtodobutgivememymoney,andIwillsaynothingmore。\" Georgewentalmostbesidehimselfwithrageatthis。\"Oh,it’slikethat?\"heshouted。\"Verywell;I’llshowyou!\"Andhesprangtothedoorandopenedit。 Butthenurseneverbudged。\"Givememyfivehundredfrancs!\" shesaid。 Georgeseizedherbythearmandshovedhertowardthedoor。 \"Youclearoutofhere,doyouunderstandme?Andasquicklyasyoucan!\" Thewomanshookherarmloose,andsneeredintohisface。\"Comenow,you——youcantalktomealittlemorepolitely,eh?\" \"Willyougo?\"shoutedGeorge,completelybesidehimself。\"Willyougo,ormustIgooutandlookforapoliceman?\" \"Apoliceman!\"demandedthewoman。\"Forwhat?\" \"Toputyououtside!Youarebehavingyourselflikeathief。\" \"Athief?I?Whatdoyoumean?\" \"Imeanthatyouaredemandingmoneywhichdoesn’tbelongtoyou。\" \"Morethanthat,\"brokeinMadameDupont,\"youaredestroyingthatpoorlittlebaby!Youareawickedwoman!\" \"Iwillputyououtmyself!\"shoutedGeorge,andseizedherbythearmagain。 \"Oh,it’slikethat,isit?\"retortedthenurse。\"ThenyoureallywantmetotellyouwhyIamgoingaway?\" \"Yes,tellme!\"criedhe。 Hismotheradded,\"Yes,yes!\" ShewouldhavespokendifferentlyhadshechancedtolookbehindherandseenHenriette,whoatthatmomentappearedinthedoorway。Shehadbeenabouttogoout,whenherattentionhadbeencaughtbytheloudvoices。Shestoodnow,amazed,claspingherhandstogether,whilethenurse,shakingherfistfirstatMadameDupontandthenatherson,criedloudly,\"Verywell!I’mgoingawaybecauseIdon’twanttocatchafilthydiseasehere!\" \"HUSH!\"criedMadameDupont,andsprangtowardher,herhandsclenchedasifshewouldchokeher。 \"Besilent!\"criedGeorge,wildwithterror。 Butthewomanrushedonwithoutdroppinghervoice,\"Oh,youneednotbetroublingyourselvesforfearanyoneshouldoverhear!Alltheworldknowsit!Yourotherservantswerelisteningwithmeatyourdoor!Theyheardeverywordyourdoctorsaid!\" \"Shutup!\"screamedGeorge。 Hermotherseizedthewomanfiercelybythearm。\"Holdyourtongue!\"shehissed。 Butagaintheothershookherselfloose。Shewaspowerful,andnowherragewasnottobecontrolled。Shewavedherhandsintheair,shouting,\"Letmebe,letmebe!Iknowallaboutyourbrat——thatyouwillneverbeabletoraiseit——thatit’srottenbecauseit’sfatherhasafilthydiseasehegotfromawomanofthestreet!\" Shegotnofarther。ShewasinterruptedbyafrenziedshriekfromHenriette。Thethreeturned,horrified,justintimetoseeherfallforwarduponthefloor,convulsed。 \"MyGod!\"criedGeorge。Hesprangtowardher,andtriedtolifther,butsheshrankfromhim,repellinghimwithagestureofdisgust,ofhatred,ofthemostprofoundterror。\"Don’ttouchme!\"shescreamed,likeamaniac。\"Don’ttouchme!\" CHAPTERV ItwasinvainthatMadameDupontsoughttocontrolherdaughter— in—law。Henriettewasbesideherself,frantic,shecouldnotbebroughttolistentoanyone。Sherushedintotheotherroom,andwhentheolderwomanfollowedher,shriekedouttobeleftalone。Afterwards,shefledtoherownroomandbarredherselfin,andGeorgeandhismotherwaiteddistractedlyforhoursuntilsheshouldgivesomesign。 Wouldshekillherself,perhaps?MadameDuponthoveredonguardaboutthedoorofthenurseryforfearthatthemotherinherfitofinsanitymightattemptsomeharmtoherchild。 Thenursehadslunkawayabashedwhenshesawtheconsequencesofheroutburst。Bythetimeshehadgotherbelongingspacked,shehadrecoveredherassurance。Shewantedherfivehundred;alsoshewantedherwagesandherrailroadfarehome。Shewantedthematonce,andshewouldnotleaveuntilshegotthem。Georgeandhismother,inthemidstofalltheiranguishofmind,hadtogothroughadisgustingscenewiththiscoarseandangrywoman。 Theyhadnosuchsumofmoneyinthehouse,andthenurserefusedtoacceptacheck。Sheknewnothingaboutacheck。Itwassomuchpaper,andmightbesometrickthattheywereplayingonher。Shekeptrepeatingheroldformula,\"Iamnothingbutapoorcountrywoman。\"Norwouldshebecontentedwiththepromisethatshewouldreceivethemoneythenextday。Sheseemedtobeafraidthatifsheleftthehouseshewouldbesurrenderingherclaim。SoatlastthedistractedGeorgetosallyforthandobtainthecashfromsometradesmenintheneighborhood。 Thewomantookherdeparture。Theymadehersignareceiptinfullforallclaimsandtheystrovetopersuadethemselvesthatthismadethemsafe;butintheirheartstheyhadnorealconvictionofsafety。Whatwasthewoman’ssignature,orherpledgedword,againstthecupidityofherhusbandandrelatives。 Alwaysshewouldhavethedreadfulsecrettoholdoverthem,andsotheywouldliveundertheshadowofpossibleblackmail。 LaterinthedayHenriettesentforhermother—in—law。Shewaswhite,hereyeswereswollenwithweeping,andshespokeinavoicechokedwithsobs。Shewishedtoreturnatoncetoherfather’shome,andtotakelittleGervaisewithher。MadameDupontcriedoutinhorroratthisproposition,andarguedandpleadedandwept——butalltonopurpose。Thegirlwasimmovable。 Shewouldnotstayunderherhusband’sroof,andshewouldtakeherchildwithher。Itwasherright,andnoonecouldrefuseher。 Theinfanthadbeencryingforhours,butthatmadenodifference。Henrietteinsistedthatacabshouldbecalledatonce。 SoshewentbacktothehomeofMonsieurLochesandtoldhimthehideousstory。Neverbeforeinherlifehadshediscussedsuchsubjectswithanyone,butnowinheragitationshetoldherfatherall。AsGeorgehaddeclaredtothedoctor,MonsieurLocheswasapersonofviolenttemper;atthisrevelation,atthesightofhisdaughter’sagony,hewasalmostbesidehimself。Hisfaceturnedpurple,theveinsstoodoutonhisforehead;atremblingseizedhim。HedeclaredthathewouldkillGeorge—— therewasnothingelsetodo。Suchascoundrelshouldnotbepermittedtolive。 TheeffortwhichHenriettehadtomaketorestrainhimhadacalmingeffectuponherself。Bitterandindignantasshewas,shedidnotwantGeorgetobekilled。Sheclungtoherfather,beseechinghimtopromiseherthathewouldnotdosuchathing; andallthatdayandeveningshewatchedhim,unwillingtolethimoutofhersight。 Therewasamatterwhichclaimedherimmediateattention,andwhichhelpedtowithdrawthemfromthecontemplationoftheirownsufferings。Theinfantmustbefedandcaredfor——theunhappyvictimofotherpeople’ssins,whoselifewasnowimperiled。A drynursemustbefoundatonce,anursecompetenttotakeeveryprecautionandgivethechildeverychance。Thisnursemustbeinformedofthenatureofthetrouble——anothermatterwhichrequiredagreatdealofanxiousthought。 ThateveningcameMadameDupont,tormentedbyanxietyaboutthechild’swelfare,andbeseechingpermissiontohelptakecareofit。Itwasimpossibletorefusesucharequest。Henriettecouldnotenduretoseeher,butthepoorgrandmotherwouldcomeandsitforhoursinthenursery,watchingthechildandthenurse,insilentagony。 Thiscontinuedfordays,whilepoorGeorgewanderedaboutathome,sufferingsuchtormentofmindascanhardlybeimagined。 Truly,inthesedayshepaidforhissins;hepaidathousand— foldinagonizedandimpotentregret。Helookedbackuponthecourseofhislife,andtracedonebyonetheactswhichhadledhimandthosehelovedintothisnightmareoftorment。Hewouldhavebeenwillingtogivehislifeifhecouldhaveundonethoseacts。Butavengingnatureofferedhimnosucheasydeliveranceasthat。WeshudderaswereadthegrimwordsoftheJehovahoftheancientHebrews;andyetnotallthelearningofmoderntimeshasavailedtodeliverusfromthecrueldecree,thatthesinsofthefathersshallbevisiteduponthechildren。 Georgewrotenotestohiswife,imploringherforgiveness。Hepouredoutallhisagonyandshametoher,begginghertoseehimjustonce,togivehimachancetopleadhisdefense。Itwasnotmuchofadefense,tobesure;itwasonlythathehaddonenoworsethantheothersdid——onlythathewasawretchedvictimofignorance。Buthelovedher,hehadproventhathelovedher,andhepleadedthatforthesakeoftheirchildshewouldforgivehim。 Whenallthisavailednothing,hewenttoseethedoctor,whoseadvicehehadsoshamefullyneglected。Hebesoughtthismantointercedeforhim——whichthedoctor,ofcourse,refusedtodo。 Itwasanextra—medicalmatter,hesaid,andGeorgewasabsurdtoexpecthimtomeddleinit。 But,asamatteroffact,thedoctorhadalreadybeeninterceding——hehadgonefartherinpleadingGeorge’scausethanhewaswillingtohaveGeorgeknow。ForMonsieurLocheshadpaidhimavisit——hispurposebeingtoaskthedoctortocontinueattendanceupontheinfant,andalsotogiveHenrietteacertificatewhichshecoulduseinhersuitforadivorcefromherhusband。 Soinevitablytherehadbeenadiscussionofthewholequestionbetweenthetwomen。Thedoctorhadgrantedthefirstrequest,butrefusedthesecond。Inthefirstplace,hesaid,therewasaruleofprofessionalsecrecywhichwouldpreventhim。Andwhenthefather—in—lawrequestedtoknowiftheruleofprofessionalsecrecycompelledhimtoprotectacriminalagainsthonestpeople,thedoctoransweredthatevenifhisethicspermittedit,hewouldstillrefusetherequest。\"Iwouldreproachmyselfforever,\"hesaid,\"ifIhadaidedyoutoobtainsuchadivorce。\" \"Then,\"criedtheoldman,vehemently,\"becauseyouprofesssuchandsuchtheories,becausetheexerciseofyourprofessionmakesyoutheconstantwitnessofsuchmiseries——thereforeitisnecessarythatmydaughtershouldcontinuetobearthatman’snameallherlife!\" Thedoctoranswered,gently,\"Sir,Iunderstandandrespectyourgrief。Butbelieveme,youarenotinastateofmindtodecideaboutthesemattersnow。\" \"Youaremistaken,\"declaredtheother,controllinghimselfwithaneffort。\"Ihavebeenthinkingaboutnothingelsefordays。I havediscusseditwithmydaughter,andsheagreeswithme。