第1章

类别:其他 作者:Edna Lyall字数:23278更新时间:19/01/02 11:26:20
’Itisonlythroughdeepsympathythatamancanbecomeagreatartist。’——Lewes’sLifeofGoethe。 ’Sympathyisfeelingrelatedtoanobject,whilstsentimentisthesamefeelingseekingitselfalone。’——ArnoldToynbee。 ChapterI。 ’Nothingfillsachild’smindlikealargeoldmansion;betterifun—orpartiallyoccupied;peopledwiththespiritsofdeceasedmembersofthecountyandJusticesoftheQuorum。WouldIwereburiedinthepeopledsolitudeofone,withmyfeelingsatsevenyearsold!’——FromLettersofCharlesLamb。 ToattemptaformalbiographyofDerrickVaughanwouldbeoutofthequestion,eventhoughheandIhavebeenmoreorlessthrowntogethersincewewerebothinthenursery。ButIhaveanoddsortofwishtonotedownroughlyjustafewofmyrecollectionsofhim,andtoshowhowhisfortunesgraduallydeveloped,beingperhapsstimulatedtomaketheattemptbycertainirritatingremarkswhichoneoverhearsnowoftenenoughatclubsorindrawing—rooms,orindeedwhereveronegoes。\"DerrickVaughan,\"saytheseauthoritiesoftheworldofsmall—talk,withthatdelightfulairofomnisciencewhichinvariablycharacterisesthem,\"why,hesimplyleaptintofame。Heisoneofthefavouritesoffortune。LikeByron,hewokeonemorningandfoundhimselffamous。\" Nowthissoundswellenough,butitisalongwayfromthetruth,andI——SydneyWharncliffe,oftheInnerTemple,Barrister—at—law—— desire,whilethepastfewyearsarefreshinmymind,towriteatrueversionofmyfriend’scareer。 Everyoneknowshisface。Hasitnotappearedin’NotedMen,’and—— graduallydeterioratingaccordingtothepriceofthepaperandthequalityoftheengraving——inmanyanotherillustratedjournal?Yetsomehowtheseworksofartdon’tsatisfyme,and,asIwrite,IseebeforemesomethingverydifferentfromthelatestphotographbyMessrs。PaulandReynard。 Iseealarge—featured,broad—browedEnglishface,atrifleheavy— lookingwheninrepose,yetathorough,honest,manlyface,withacomplexionneitherdarknorfair,withbrownhairandmoustache,andwithlighthazeleyesthatlookoutontheworldquietlyenough。 Youmighttalktohimforlonginanordinarywayandneversuspectthathewasagenius;butwhenyouhavehimtoyourself,whensomeconsciousnessofsympathyrouseshim,heallatoncebecomesadifferentbeing。Hisquieteyeskindle,hisfacebecomesfulloflife——youwonderthatyoueverthoughtitheavyorcommonplace。 Thentheworldinterruptsinsomeway,and,justasahermit—crabdrawsdownitsshellwithacomicallyrapidmovement,soDerricksuddenlyretiresintohimself。 Thusmuchforhisouterman。 Fortherest,thereareofcoursetheneatlittleaccountsofhisbirthplace,hisparentage,hiseducation,etc。,etc。,publishedwiththelistofhisworksindueorder,withtheengravingsintheillustratedpapers。Butthesetelluslittleofthereallifeoftheman。 Carlyle,inoneofhisfinestpassages,saysthat’Atruedelineationofthesmallestmanandhissceneofpilgrimagethroughlifeiscapableofinterestingthegreatestmen;thatallmenaretoanunspeakabledegreebrothers,eachman’slifeastrangeemblemofeveryman’s;andthathumanportraitsfaithfullydrawnareofallpicturesthewelcomestonhumanwalls。’AndthoughIdon’tprofesstogiveaportrait,butmerelyasketch,Iwillendeavourtosketchfaithfully,andpossiblyinthefuturemyworkmayfallintothehandsofsomeofthoseworthypeoplewhoimaginethatmyfriendleaptintofameatabound,orofthosecomfortablemortalswhoseemtothinkthatanovelisturnedoutaseasilyaswaterfromatap。 Thereis,however,onethingIcanneverdo:——Iamquiteunabletoputintowordsmyfriend’sintenselystrongfeelingwithregardtothesacrednessofhisprofession。ItseemedtomenotunlikethefeelingofIsaiahwhen,inthevision,hismouthhadbeentouchedwiththecelestialfire。AndIcanonlyhopethatsomethingofthismaybereadbetweenmyveryinadequatelines。 Lookingback,IfancyDerrickmusthavebeenacleverchild。Buthewasnotprecocious,andinsomerespectswasevendecidedlybackward。Icanseehimnow——itismyfirstclearrecollectionofhim——leaningbackinthecornerofmyfather’scarriageaswedrovefromtheNewmarketstationtooursummerhomeatMondisfield。HeandIweresmallboysofeight,andDerrickhadbeeninvitedfortheholidays,whilehistwinbrother——ifIrememberright——indulgedintyphoidfeveratKensington。Hewasshyandsilent,andtheicewasnotbrokenuntilwepassedSilverySteeple。 \"That,\"saidmyfather,\"isaruinedchurch;itwasdestroyedbyCromwellintheCivilWars。\" Inaninstantthesmallquietboysittingbesidemewastransformed。 Hiseyesshone;hesprangforwardandthrusthisheadfaroutofthewindow,gazingattheoldivy—coveredtoweraslongasitremainedinsight。 \"WasCromwellreallyoncethere?\"heaskedwithbreathlessinterest。 \"Sotheysay,\"repliedmyfather,lookingwithanamusedsmileatthefaceofthequestioner,inwhicheagerness,delight,andreverenceweremingled。\"AreyouanadmireroftheLordProtector?\" \"Heismygreatestheroofall,\"saidDerrickfervently。\"Doyouthink——oh,doyouthinkhepossiblycaneverhavecometoMondisfield?\" Myfatherthoughtnot,butsaidtherewasanoldtraditionthattheHallhadbeenattackedbytheRoyalists,andthebridgeoverthemoatdefendedbytheownerofthehouse;buthehadnogreatbeliefinthestory,forwhich,indeed,thereseemednoevidence。 Derrick’seyesduringthisconversationweresomethingwonderfultosee,andlongafter,whenwewerenotactuallyplayingatanything,Iusedoftentonoticethesameexpressionstealingoverhim,andwouldcryout,\"Thereisthemandefendingthebridgeagain;Icanseehiminyoureyes!Tellmewhathappenedtohimnext!\" Then,generallypacingtoandfrointheapplewalk,orsittingastridethebridgeitself,Derrickwouldtellmeoftheadventuresofmyancestor,PaulWharncliffe,whoperformedincrediblefeatsofvalour,andwhowastobothofusamostrealperson。Onwetdayshewrotehisstoryinacopy—book,andwouldhaveworkedatitforhourshadmymotherallowedhim,thoughofthemanualpartoftheworkhehad,andhasalwaysretained,thegreatestdislike。I rememberwellthecomicalendingofthisfirststoryofhis。Heskippedoveranintervaloftenyears,representedonthepagebytenlaboriouslymadestars,anddidforhisherointhefollowinglines: \"Andnow,reader,letuscomeintoMondisfieldchurchyard。Therearethreetombstones。Ononeiswritten,’Mr。PaulWharncliffe。’\" Thestorywasnobetterthantheproductionsofmosteight—year—oldchildren,thewrittenstoryatleast。But,curiouslyenough,itprovedtobethegermofthecelebratedromance,’AtStrife,’whichDerrickwroteinafteryears;andhehimselfmaintainsthathispictureoflifeduringtheCivilWarwouldhavebeenmuchlessgraphichadhenotlivedsomuchinthepastduringhisvariousvisitstoMondisfield。 Itwasathissecondvisit,whenwewerenine,thatIrememberhisannouncinghisintentionofbeinganauthorwhenhewasgrownup。 Mymotherstilldelightsintellingthestory。Shewassittingatworkinthesouthparlouroneday,whenIdashedintotheroomcallingout: \"Derrick’sheadisstuckbetweenthebanistersinthegallery;comequick,mother,comequick!\" Sheranupthelittlewindingstaircase,andthere,sureenough,inthemusician’sgallery,waspoorDerrick,hismanuscriptandpenonthefloorandhisheadindurancevile。 \"Yousillyboy!\"saidmymother,alittlefrightenedwhenshefoundthattogettheheadbackwasnoeasymatter,\"Whatmadeyouputitthrough?\" \"YoulooklikeKingCharlesatCarisbrooke,\"Icried,forgettinghowmuchDerrickwouldresentthespeech。 Andbeingreleasedatthatmomenthetookmebytheshouldersandgavemeanangryshakeortwo,ashesaidvehemently,\"I’mnotlikeKingCharles!KingCharleswasaliar。\" Isawmymothersmilealittleassheseparatedus。 \"Come,boys,don’tquarrel,\"shesaid。\"AndDerrickwilltellmethetruth,forindeedIamcurioustoknowwhyhethrusthisheadinsuchaplace。\" \"Iwantedtomakesure,\"saidDerrick,\"whetherPaulWharncliffecouldseeLadyLettice,whenshetookthefalcononherwristbelowinthepassage。Imustn’tsayhesawherifit’simpossible,youknow。Authorshavetobequitetrueinlittlethings,andImeantobeanauthor。\" \"But,\"saidmymother,laughingatthegreatearnestnessofthehazeleyes,\"couldnotyourherolookoverthetopoftherail?\" \"Well,yes,\"saidDerrick。\"Hewouldhavedonethat,butyouseeit’ssodreadfullyhighandIcouldn’tgetup。ButItellyouwhat,Mrs。Wharncliffe,ifitwouldn’tbegivingyouagreatdealoftrouble——I’msorryyouweretroubledtogetmyheadbackagain——butifyouwouldjustlookover,sinceyouaresotall,andI’llrundownandactLadyLettice。\" \"Whycouldn’tPaulgodownstairsandlookattheladyincomfort?\" askedmymother。 Derrickmusedalittle。 \"Hemightlookatherthroughacrackinthedooratthefootofthestairs,perhaps,butthatwouldseemmean,somehow。Itwouldbeapity,too,nottousethegallery;galleriesareuncommon,yousee,andyoucangetcrackeddoorsanywhere。And,youknow,hewasobligedtolookatherwhenshecouldn’tseehim,becausetheirfatherswereondifferentsidesinthewar,anddreadfulenemies。\" Whenschool—dayscame,matterswentonmuchinthesameway;therewasalwaysanabominablyscribbledtalestowedawayinDerrick’sdesk,andheworkedinfinitelyharderthanIdid,becausetherewasalwaysbeforehimthisdeterminationtobeanauthorandtopreparehimselfforthelife。Buthewrotemerelyfromloveofit,andwithnoideaofpublicationuntilthebeginningofourlastyearatOxford,when,havingreachedtheripeageofone—and—twenty,hedeterminedtodelaynolonger,buttoplungeboldlyintohisfirstnovel。 Hewasseldomabletogetmorethansixoreighthoursaweekforit,becausehewasreadingratherhard,sothatthenovelprogressedbutslowly。Finally,tomyastonishment,itcametoadeadstand— still。 IhavenevermadeoutexactlywhatwaswrongwithDerrickthen,thoughIknowthathepassedthroughaterribletimeofdoubtanddespair。IspentpartoftheLongwithhimdownatVentnor,wherehismotherhadbeenorderedforherhealth。ShewasdevotedtoDerrick,andasfarasIcanunderstand,hewasherchiefcomfortinlife。MajorVaughan,thehusband,hadbeenoutinIndiaforyears; theonlydaughterwasmarriedtoarichmanufactureratBirmingham,whohadaconstitutionaldisliketomothers—in—law,andasfaraspossibleeschewedtheircompany;whileLawrence,Derrick’stwinbrother,wasforevergettingintoscrapes,andwasintothebargainthemostunblushinglyselfishfellowIeverhadthepleasureofmeeting。 \"Sydney,\"saidMrs。Vaughantomeoneafternoonwhenwewereinthegarden,\"Derrickseemstomeunlikehimself,thereisadivisionbetweenuswhichIneverfeltbefore。Canyoutellmewhatistroublinghim?\" Shewasnotatallagood—lookingwoman,butshehadaverysweet,wistfulface,andIneverlookedathersadeyeswithoutfeelingreadytogothroughfireandwaterforher。ItriednowtomakelightofDerrick’sdepression。 \"Heisonlygoingthroughwhatweallofusgothrough,\"Isaid,assumingacheerfultone。\"Hehassuddenlydiscoveredthatlifeisagreatriddle,andthatthethingshehasacceptedinblindfaithare,afterall,notsosure。\" Shesighed。 \"Doallgothroughit?\"shesaidthoughtfully。\"Andhowmany,I wonder,getbeyond?\" \"Fewenough,\"Irepliedmoodily。Then,rememberingmyrole,——\"ButDerrickwillgetthrough;hehasathousandthingstohelphimwhichothershavenot,——you,forinstance。AndthenIfancyhehasasortofinsightwhichmostofusarewithout。\" \"Possibly,\"shesaid。\"Asforme,itislittlethatIcandoforhim。Perhapsyouareright,anditistruethatonceinalifeatanyrateweallhavetogointothewildernessalone。\" ThatwasthelastsummerIeversawDerrick’smother;shetookachillthefollowingChristmasanddiedafterafewdays’illness。 ButIhavealwaysthoughtherdeathhelpedDerrickinawaythatherlifemighthavefailedtodo。Foralthoughhenever,Ifancy,quiterecoveredfromtheblow,andtothisdaycannotspeakofherwithouttearsinhiseyes,yetwhenhecamebacktoOxfordheseemedtohavefoundtheanswertotheriddle,andthougholder,sadderandgraverthanbefore,hadquitelosttherestlessdissatisfactionthatforsometimehadcloudedhislife。Inafewmonths,moreover,I noticedafreshsignthathewasoutofthewood。ComingintohisroomsonedayIfoundhimsittinginthecushionedwindow—seat,readingoverandcorrectingsomesheetsofbluefoolscap。 \"Atitagain?\"Iasked。 Henodded。 \"Imeantofinishthefirstvolumehere。FortherestImustbeinLondon。\" \"Why?\"Iasked,alittlecuriousastothisunknownartofnovel— making。 \"Because,\"hereplied,\"onemustbeintheheartofthingstounderstandhowLynwoodwasaffectedbythem。\" \"Lynwood!Ibelieveyouarealwaysthinkingofhim!\"(Lynwoodwastheheroofhisnovel。) \"Well,soIamnearly——soImustbe,ifthebookistobeanygood。\" \"Readmewhatyouhavewritten,\"Isaid,throwingmyselfbackinaricketybuttolerablycomfortablearm—chairwhichDerrickhadinheritedwiththerooms。 Hehesitatedamoment,beingalwaysverydiffidentabouthisownwork;butpresently,havingprovidedmewithacigarandmadeagooddealofunnecessaryworkinarrangingthesheetsofthemanuscript,hebegantoreadaloud,rathernervously,theopeningchaptersofthebooknowsowellknownunderthetitleof’Lynwood’sHeritage。’ Ihadheardnothingofhisforthelastfouryears,andwasamazedatthegiganticstridehehadmadeintheinterval。For,spiteofacertaincrudeness,itseemedtomeamostpowerfulstory;itrushedstraighttothepointwithnowavering,nobeatingaboutthebush; itflungitselfintotheproblemsofthedaywithasortofsublimeaudacity;ittookholdofone;itwhirledonealongwithitsowninherentforce,anddrewforthbothlaughterandtears,forDerrick’spowerofpathoshadalwaysbeenhisstrongestpoint。 Allatoncehestoppedreading。 \"Goon!\"Icriedimpatiently。 \"Thatisall,\"hesaid,gatheringthesheetstogether。 \"Youstoppedinthemiddleofasentence!\"Icriedinexasperation。 \"Yes,\"hesaidquietly,\"forsixmonths。\" \"Youprovokingfellow!why,Iwonder?\" \"BecauseIdidn’tknowtheend。\" \"Goodheavens!Anddoyouknowitnow?\" Helookedmefullintheface,andtherewasanexpressioninhiseyeswhichpuzzledme。 \"IbelieveIdo,\"hesaid;and,gettingup,hecrossedtheroom,putthemanuscriptawayinadrawer,andreturning,satdowninthewindow—seatagain,lookingoutonthenarrow,pavedstreetbelow,andatthegreybuildingsopposite。 IknewverywellthathewouldneveraskmewhatIthoughtofthestory——thatwasnothisway。 \"Derrick!\"Iexclaimed,watchinghisimpassiveface,\"Ibelieveafterallyouareagenius。\" IhardlyknowwhyIsaid\"afterall,\"buttillthatmomentithadneverstruckmethatDerrickwasparticularlygifted。HehadsofargotthroughhisOxfordcareercreditably,butthenhehadworkedhard;histalentswerenotofashowyorder。IhadneverexpectedthathewouldsettheThamesonfire。Evennowitseemedtomethathewastoodreamy,tooquiet,toodevoidofthepushingfacultytosucceedintheworld。 Myremarkmadehimlaughincredulously。 \"Defineagenius,\"hesaid。 ForanswerIpulleddownhisbelovedImperialDictionaryandreadhimthefollowingquotationfromDeQuincey:’Geniusisthatmodeofintellectualpowerwhichmovesinalliancewiththegenialnature,i。e。,withthecapacitiesofpleasureandpain;whereastalenthasnovestigeofsuchanalliance,andisperfectlyindependentofallhumansensibilities。’ \"Letmethink!YoucancertainlyenjoythingsahundredtimesmorethanIcan——andasforsuffering,whyyouwerealwaysagreathandatthat。NowlistentothegreatDr。Johnsonandseeifthecapfits,’Thetruegeniusisamindoflargegeneralpowersaccidentallydeterminedinsomeparticulardirection。’ \"’Largegeneralpowers’!——yes,Ibelieveafterallyouhavethemwith,alas,poorDerrick!onenotableexception——themathematicalfaculty。Youwerealwaysbadatfigures。WewillsticktoDeQuincey’sdefinition,andforheaven’ssake,mydearfellow,dogetLynwoodoutofthatawfulplight!Nowonderyouweredepressedwhenyoulivedallthisagewithsuchasentenceunfinished!\" \"Forthematterofthat,\"saidDerrick,\"hecan’tgetouttilltheendofthebook;butIcanbegintogoonwithhimnow。\" \"AndwhenyouleaveOxford?\" \"ThenImeantosettledowninLondon——towriteleisurely——andpossiblytoreadfortheBar。\" \"Wemightbetogether,\"Isuggested。AndDerricktooktothisidea,beingamanwhodetestedsolitudeandcrowdsaboutequally。Sincehismother’sdeathhehadbeenverymuchaloneintheworld。ToLawrencehewasalwaysloyal,butthetwohadnothingincommon,andthoughfondofhissisterhecouldnotgetonatallwiththemanufacturer,hisbrother—in—law。ButthisprospectoflifetogetherinLondonpleasedhimamazingly;hebegantorecoverhisspiritstoagreatextentandtolookmuchmorelikehimself。 ItmusthavebeenjustashehadtakenhisdegreethathereceivedatelegramtoannouncethatMajorVaughanhadbeeninvalidedhome,andwouldarriveatSouthamptoninthreeweeks’time。Derrickknewverylittleofhisfather,butapparentlyMrs。VaughanhaddoneherbesttokeepupasortofmemoryofhischildishdaysatAldershot,andinthesethepartthathisfatherplayedwasalwayspleasant。Sohelookedforwardtothemeetingnotalittle,whileI,fromthefirst,hadmydoubtsastothefelicityitwaslikelytobringhim。 However,itwasordainedthatbeforetheMajor’sshiparrived,hisson’swholelifeshouldchange。EvenLynwoodwasthrustintothebackground。Asforme,Iwasnowhere。ForDerrick,thequiet,theself—contained,hadfallenpassionatelyinlovewithacertainFredaMerrifield。 ChapterII。 ’Infancy?Whatiftherose—streakofmorningPaleanddepartinapassionoftears? Oncetohavehopedisnomatterforscorning: Loveonce:e’enlove’sdisappointmentendears; Amoment’ssuccesspaysthefailureofyears。’ R。Browning。 Thewonderwouldhavebeenifhehadnotfalleninlovewithher,foramorefascinatinggirlIneversaw。ShehadonlyjustreturnedfromschoolatCompiegne,andwasnotyetout;hercharmingfreshnesswasunsullied;shehadallthesimplicityandstraightforwardnessofunspoilt,unsophisticatedgirlhood。Iwellrememberourfirstsightofher。Wehadbeeninvitedforafortnight’syachtingbyCalverleyofExeter。Hisfather,SirJohnCalverley,hadasailingyacht,andsomeguestshavingdisappointedhimatthelastminute,hegavehissoncarteblancheastowhoheshouldbringtofillthevacantberths。 SowethreetravelleddowntoSouthamptontogetheronehotsummerday,andwererowedouttotheAurora,anuncommonlyneatlittleschoonerwhichlayinthatover—ratedandfrequentlyodoriferousroadstead,SouthamptonWater。However,Iadmitthatonthatevening——thetidebeinghigh——theplacelookedremarkablypretty; thelevelraysofthesettingsunturnedthewatertogold;asoftluminoushazehungoverthetownandtheshipping,andbyastretchofimaginationonemighthavethoughttheviewalmostVenetian。 Derrick’sperfectcontentwasonlymarredbyhisshyness。IknewthathedreadedreachingtheAurora;andsureenough,aswesteppedontotheexquisitelywhitedeckandcaughtsightofthelittlegroupofguests,Isawhimretreatintohiscrab—shellofsilentreserve。SirJohn,whomadeaverypleasanthost,introducedustotheothervisitors——LordProbynandhiswifeandtheirniece,MissFredaMerrifield。LadyProbynwasSirJohn’ssister,andalsothesisterofMissMerrifield’smother;sothatitwasalmostafamilyparty,andbynomeansaformidablegathering。LadyProbynplayedthepartofhostessandchaperonedherprettyniece;butshewasnotintheleastliketheauntoffiction——onthecontrary,shewascomparativelyyounginyearsandalmostcomicallyyounginmind;herniecewasdevotedtoher,andthemomentIsawherIknewthatourcruisecouldnotpossiblybedull。 AstoMissFreda,whenwefirstcaughtsightofhershewasstandingnearthecompanion,dressedinadaintilymadeyachtingcostumeofbluesergeandwhitebraid,androundherwhitesailorhatsheworethenameoftheyachtstampedonawhiteribbon;inherwaist—bandshehadfastenedtwodeepcrimsonroses,andshelookedatuswithfrank,girlishcuriosity,nodoubtwonderingwhetherweshouldaddtoordetractfromtheenjoymentoftheexpedition。Shewasrathertall,andtherewasanairofstrengthandenergyaboutherwhichwasmostrefreshing。Herskinwassingularlywhite,buttherewasahealthyglowofcolourinhercheeks;whileherlarge,greyeyes,shadedbylonglashes,werefulloflifeandbrightness。Astoherfeatures,theywereperhapsatrifleirregular,andhereldersistersweresupposedtoeclipseheraltogether;buttomymindshewasfarthemosttakingofthethree。 IwasnotintheleastsurprisedthatDerrickshouldfallheadoverearsinlovewithher;shewasexactlythesortofgirlthatwouldinfalliblyattracthim。Herabsenceofshyness;herstraightforward,easywayoftalking;hergenuinegoodheartedness; herdevotiontoanimals——oneofhisownpethobbies——andfinallyherexquisiteplaying,madetheresultaforegoneconclusion。Andthen,moreover,theywereperpetuallytogether。Hewouldhangoverthepianointhesaloonforhourswhilesheplayed,therestofuslazilyenjoyingtheeasychairsandthefreshairondeck;andwheneverwelanded,thesetwoweresureintheendtobejustalittleapartfromtherestofus。 Itwasaneminentlysuccessfulcruise。Wealllikedeachother;theseawascalm,thesunshineconstant,thewindasarulefavourable,andIthinkIneverinasinglefortnightheardsomanygoodstories,orhadsuchagoodtime。Weseemedtogetrightoutoftheworldanditsnarrowrestrictions,awayfromallthatwashollowandbaseanddepressing,onlylandingnowandthenatquaintlittlequietplacesforsomemerryexcursiononshore。Fredawasinthehighestspirits;andastoDerrick,hewasadifferentcreature。 Sheseemedtohavethepowerofdrawinghimoutinamarvellousdegree,andshetookthegreatestinterestinhiswork——asurewaytoeveryauthor’sheart。 Butitwasnottilloneday,whenwelandedatTresco,thatIfeltcertainshegenuinelylovedhim——thereinoneglancethetruthflasheduponme。Iwaswalkingwithoneofthegardenersdownoneofthelongshadypathsofthatlovelylittleisland,withitscuriouslyforeignlook,whenwesuddenlycamefacetofacewithDerrickandFreda。Theyweretalkingearnestly,andIcouldseehergreatgreyeyesastheywereliftedtohis——perhapstheyweremoreexpressivethansheknew——Icannotsay。Theybothstartedalittleasweconfrontedthem,andthecolourdeepenedinFreda’sface。Thegardener,withwhatphotographersusuallyaskfor——’justthefaintbeginningofasmile,’——turnedandgatheredabitofwhiteheathergrowingnear。 \"Theysayitbringsgoodluck,miss,\"heremarked,handingittoFreda。 \"Thankyou,\"shesaid,laughing,\"Ihopeitwillbringittome。Atanyrateitwillremindmeofthisbeautifulisland。Isn’titjustlikeParadise,Mr。Wharncliffe?\" \"FormeitislikeParadisebeforeEvewascreated,\"Ireplied,ratherwickedly。\"Bythebye,areyougoingtokeepallthegoodlucktoyourself?\" \"Idon’tknow,\"shesaidlaughing。\"PerhapsIshall;butyouhaveonlytoaskthegardener,hewillgatheryouanotherpiecedirectly。\" Itookgoodcaretodropbehind,havingnotasteforthethird— fiddlebusiness;butInoticedwhenwewereinthegigoncemore,rowingbacktotheyacht,thatthewhiteheatherhadbeenequallydivided——onehalfwasinthewaist—bandofthebluesergedress,theotherhalfinthebutton—holeofDerrick’sblazer。 Sothefortnightslippedby,andatlengthoneafternoonwefoundourselvesoncemoreinSouthamptonWater;thencamethebustleofpackingandthehurryofdeparture,andthemerrypartydispersed。 DerrickandIsawthemalloffatthestation,for,ashisfather’sshipdidnotarrivetillthefollowingday,ImadeupmymindtostayonwithhimatSouthampton。 \"Youwillcomeandseeusintown,\"saidLadyProbyn,kindly。AndLordProbyninvitedusbothfortheshootingatBlachingtoninSeptember。\"Wewillhavethesamepartyonshore,andseeifwecan’tenjoyourselvesalmostaswell,\"hesaidinhisheartyway; \"thenovelwillgoallthebetterforit,eh,Vaughan?\" Derrickbrightenedvisiblyatthesuggestion。IheardhimtalkingtoFredaallthetimethatSirJohnstoodlaughingandjokingastothecomparativepleasuresofyachtingandshooting。 \"Youwillbetheretoo?\"Derrickasked。 \"Ican’ttell,\"saidFreda,andtherewasashadeofsadnessinhertone。Hervoicewasdeeperthanmostwomen’svoices——arichcontraltowithsomethingstrikingandindividualaboutit。Icouldhearherquiteplainly;butDerrickspokelessdistinctly——healwayshadabadtrickofmumbling。 \"YouseeIamtheyoungest,\"shesaid,\"andIamnotreally’out。’ Perhapsmymotherwillwishoneoftheelderonestogo;butIhalfthinktheyarealreadyengagedforSeptember,soafterallImayhaveachance。\" Inaudibleremarkfrommyfriend。 \"Yes,IcameherebecausemysistersdidnotcaretoleaveLondontilltheendoftheseason,\"repliedtheclearcontralto。\"Ithasbeenaperfectcruise。Ishallrememberitallmylife。\" Afterthat,nothingmorewasaudible;butIimagineDerrickmusthavehazardedamorepersonalquestion,andthatFredahadadmittedthatitwasnotonlytheactualsailingsheshouldremember。AtanyrateherfacewhenIcaughtsightofitagainmademethinkofthegirldescribedinthe’BiglowPapers’: \"’’Twaskin’o’kingdomcometolookOnsechablessedcreatur。 Adogroseblushin’toabrookAin’tmodesternorsweeter。’\" Sothetrainwentoff,andDerrickandIwerelefttoidleaboutSouthamptonandkilltimeasbestwemight。Derrickseemedtowalkthestreetsinasortofdream——hewasperfectlywellawarethathehadmethisfate,andatthattimenothoughtofdifficultiesinthewayhadariseneitherinhismindorinmyown。Wewerebothofusyoungandinexperienced;wewerebothofusinlove,andwehadtheusuallover’snotionthateverythinginheavenandearthispreparedtofavourthecourseofhisparticularpassion。 Irememberthatwesoonfoundthetownintolerable,and,crossingbytheferry,walkedovertoNetleyAbbey,andlaydownidlyintheshadeoftheoldgreywalls。Notabreathofwindstirredthegreatmassesofivywhichwerewreathedabouttheruinedchurch,andtheplacelookedsolovelyinitsdecay,thatwefeltdisposedtojudgethedissolutemonksverylenientlyforhavingbehavedsobadlythattheirchurchandmonasteryhadtobeopenedtothefourwindsofheaven。Afterall,whenisachurchsobeautifulaswhenithasthegreengrassforitsfloorandtheskyforitsroof? IcouldshowyoutheveryspotneartheEastwindowwhereDerricktoldmethewholetruth,andwherewetalkedoverFreda’sperfectionsandtheprobabilityoffrequentmeetingsinLondon。Hehadlistenedsooftenandsopatientlytomyaffairs,thatitseemedanoddreversaltohavetoplaytheconfidant;andifnowandthenmythoughtswanderedofftothecomingmonthatMondisfield,andpicturedvioleteyeswhilehetalkedofgrey,itwasnotfromanylackofsympathywithmyfriend。 Derrickwasnotofaself—tormentingnature,andthoughIknewhewasamazedatthethoughtthatsuchagirlasFredacouldpossiblycareforhim,yethebelievedmostimplicitlythatthiswonderfulthinghadcometopass;and,rememberingherfaceaswehadlastseenit,andthelookinhereyesatTresco,I,too,hadnotashadowofadoubtthatshereallylovedhim。Shewasnottheleastbitofaflirt,andsocietyhadnothadachanceyetofmouldingherintotheordinarygirlofthenineteenthcentury。 PerhapsitwasthesuddenandunexpectedchangeofthenextdaythatmakesmerememberDerrick’sfacesodistinctlyashelaybackonthesmoothturfthatafternooninNetleyAbbey。Asitlookedthen,fullofyouthandhope,fullofthatdreamofcloudlesslove,Ineversawitagain。 ChapterIII。 \"Religioninhimneverdied,butbecameahabit——ahabitofenduringhardness,andcleavingtothesteadfastperformanceofdutyinthefaceofthestrongestallurementstothepleasanterandeasiercourse。\" LifeofCharlesLamb,byA。Ainger。 Derrickwasingoodspiritsthenextday。HetalkedmuchofMajorVaughan,wonderedwhetherthevoyagehomehadrestoredhishealth,discussedtheprobablelengthofhisleave,andspeculatedastothenatureofhisillness;thetelegramhadofcoursegivennodetails。 \"Therehasnotbeenevenaphotographforthelastfiveyears,\"heremarked,aswewalkeddowntothequaytogether。\"YetIthinkI shouldknowhimanywhere,ifitisonlybyhisheight。Heusedtolooksowellonhorseback。IrememberasachildseeinghiminashamfightchargingupCaesar’sCamp。\" \"Howoldwereyouwhenhewentout?\" \"Oh,quiteasmallboy,\"repliedDerrick。\"ItwasjustbeforeI firststayedwithyou。However,hehashadaregularsuccessionofphotographssentouttohim,andwillknowmeeasilyenough。\" PoorDerrick!Ican’tthinkofthatdayevennowwithoutakindofmentalshiver。Wewatchedthegreatsteamerasitglideduptothequay,andDerrickscannedthecrowdeddeckwitheagereyes,butcouldnowhereseethetall,soldierlyfigurethathadlingeredsolonginhismemory。Hestoodwithhishandrestingontherailofthegangway,andwhenpresentlyitwasraisedtothesideofthesteamer,hestillkepthisposition,sothathecouldinstantlycatchsightofhisfatherashepasseddown。Istoodclosebehindhim,andwatchedthemotleyprocessionofpassengers;mostofthemhadthedullcolourlessskinwhichbespeakslongresidenceinIndia,andaparticularlyyellowandpeevish—lookingoldmanwasgrumblingloudlyasheslowlymadehiswaydownthegangway。 \"Themostdisgracefulscene!\"heremarked。\"Thefellowwasasdrunkashecouldbe。\" \"Whowasit?\"askedhiscompanion。 \"Why,MajorVaughan,tobesure。Theonlywonderisthathehasn’tdrunkhimselftodeathbythistime——beenatityearsenough!\" Derrickturned,asthoughtoshelterhimselffromthecuriouseyesofthetravellers;buteverywherethequaywascrowded。Itseemedtomenotunlikethelifethatlaybeforehim,withthisnewshamewhichcouldnotbehid,andIshallneverforgetthelookofmiseryinhisface。 \"Mostlikelyagreatexaggerationofthatspitefuloldfogey’s,\"I said。\"Neverbelieveanythingthatyouhear,isasoundaxiom。Hadyounotbettertrytogetonboard?\" \"Yes;andforheaven’ssakecomewithme,Wharncliffe!\"hesaid。 \"Itcan’tbetrue!Itis,asyousay,thatman’sspite,orelsethereissomeoneelseofthenameonboard。Thatmustbeit—— someoneelseofthename。\" Idon’tknowwhetherhemanagedtodeceivehimself。Wemadeourwayonboard,andhespoketooneofthestewards,whoconductedustothesaloon。Iknewfromtheexpressionoftheman’sfacethatthewordswehadoverheardwerebuttootrue;itwasamereglancethathegaveus,yetifhehadsaidaloud,\"Theybelongtothatolddrunkard!ThankheavenI’mnotintheirshoes!\"Icouldnothavebetterunderstoodwhatwasinhismind。 Therewerethreepersonsonlyinthegreatsaloon:anofficer’sservant,whoseappearancedidnotpleaseme;afinelookingoldmanwithgreyhairandwhiskers,andarough—hewnhonestface,apparentlytheship’sdoctor;andatallgrizzledmaninwhomIatoncesawasortofhorriblelikenesstoDerrick——horriblebecausethisfacewaswickedanddegraded,andbecauseitsownerwasdrunk—— noisilydrunk。Derrickpausedforaminute,lookingathisfather; then,deadlypale,heturnedtotheolddoctor。\"IamMajorVaughan’sson,\"hesaid。 Thedoctorgraspedhishand,andtherewassomethingintheoldman’skindly,chivalrousmannerwhichbroughtasortoflightintothegloom。 \"Iamverygladtoseeyou!\"heexclaimed。\"IstheMajor’sluggageready?\"heinquiredturningtotheservant。Then,asthemanrepliedintheaffirmative,\"Howwoulditbe,Mr。Vaughan,ifyourfather’smanjustsawthethingsintoacab?andthenI’llcomeonshorewithyouandseemypatientsafelysettledin。\" Derrickacquiesced,andthedoctorturnedtotheMajor,whowasleaningupagainstoneofthepillarsofthesaloonandshoutingout\"’TwasinTrafalgarBay,\"inawaywhich,underothercircumstances,wouldhavebeenhighlycomic。Thedoctorinterruptedhim,aswithmuchfeelinghesanghow: \"EnglanddeclaredthateverymanThatdayhaddonehisduty。\" \"Look,Major,\"hesaid;\"hereisyoursoncometomeetyou。\" \"Gladtoseeyou,myboy,\"saidtheMajor,reelingforwardandrunningallhiswordstogether。\"How’syourmother?IsthisLawrence?Gladtoseebothofyou!Why,you’r’slike’stwopeas! NotLawrence,doyousay?Confoundit,doctor,howtheshiprollsto—day!\" Andtheoldwretchstaggeredandwouldhavefallen,hadnotDerricksupportedhimandlandedhimsafelyononeofthefixedottomans。 \"Yes,yes,you’rethesonforme,\"hewenton,withablandsmile,whichmadehisfaceallthemorehideous。\"You’renotsoroughandclumsyasthatconfoundedJohnThomas,whosehandsarelikebrickbats。I’mamerewreck,asyousee;it’stheaccursedclimate! Butyourmotherwillsoonnursemeintohealthagain;shewasalwaysagoodnurse,poorsoul!itwasherbestpoint。Whatwithyouandyourmother,Ishallsoonbemyselfagain。\" Herethedoctorinterposed,andDerrickmadedesperatelyforaportholeandgulpeddownmouthfulsoffreshair:buthewasnotallowedmuchofarespite,fortheservantreturnedtosaythathehadprocuredacab,andtheMajorcalledloudlyforhisson’sarm。 \"I’llnothaveyou,\"hesaid,pushingtheservantviolentlyaway。 \"Come,Derrick,helpme!youareworthtwoofthatblockhead。\" AndDerrickcamequicklyforward,hisfacestillverypale,butwithadignityaboutitwhichIhadneverbeforeseen;and,givinghisarmtohisdrunkenfather,hepilotedhimacrossthesaloon,throughthestaringranksofstewards,officials,andtardypassengersoutside,downthegangway,andoverthecrowdedquaytothecab。I knewthateachderisiveglanceofthespectatorswastohimlikeasword—thrust,andlongedtothrottletheMajor,whoseemedtoenjoyhimselfamazinglyonterrafirma,andsangatthetopofhisvoiceaswedrovethroughthestreetsofSouthampton。Theolddoctorkeptupacheeryflowofsmall—talkwithme,thinking,nodoubt,thatthiswouldbeakindnesstoDerrick:andatlastthatpurgatorialdriveended,andsomehowDerrickandthedoctorbetweenthemgottheMajorsafelyintohisroomatRadley’sHotel。 Wehadorderedlunchinaprivatesitting—room,thinkingthattheMajorwouldpreferittothecoffee—room;but,asitturnedout,hewasinnostatetoappear。Theylefthimasleep,andtheship’sdoctorsatintheseatthathadbeenpreparedforhispatient,andmadethemealastolerabletousbothasitcouldbe。Hewasanodd,old—fashionedfellow,butastrueagentlemanaseverbreathed。 \"Now,\"hesaid,whenlunchwasover,\"youandImusthaveatalktogether,Mr。Vaughan,andIwillhelpyoutounderstandyourfather’scase。\" Imadeamovementtogo,butsatdownagainatDerrick’srequest。I think,pooroldfellow,hedreadedbeingalone,andknowingthatI hadseenhisfatherattheworst,thoughtImightaswellhearallparticulars。 \"MajorVaughan,\"continuedthedoctor,\"hasnowbeenundermycareforsomeweeks,andIhadsomecommunicationwiththeregimentalsurgeonabouthiscasebeforehesailed。Heissufferingfromanenlargedliver,andthediseasehasbeenbroughtonbyhisunfortunatehabitofover—indulgenceinstimulants。\"Icouldalmosthavesmiled,soverygentlyandconsideratelydidthegoodoldmanveilinlongwordstheshamefulfact。\"Itisahabitsadlyprevalentamongourfellow—countrymeninIndia;theclimateaggravatesthemischief,andverymanylivesareinthiswayruined。 Thenyourfatherwasalsounfortunateenoughtocontractrheumatismwhenhewascampingoutinthejunglelastyear,andthisisincreasingonhimverymuch,sothathislifeisalmostintolerabletohim,andhenaturallyfliesforrelieftohisgreatestenemy,drink。Atallcosts,however,youmustkeephimfromstimulants; theywillonlyintensifythediseaseandthesufferings,infacttheyarepoisontoamaninsuchastate。Don’tthinkIamabigotinthesematters;butIsaythatforamaninsuchaconditionasthis,thereisnothingforitbuttotalabstinence,andatallcostsyourfathermustbeguardedfromthepossibilityofprocuringanysortofintoxicatingdrink。ThroughoutthevoyageIhavedonemybesttoshieldhim,butitwasadifficultmatter。Hisservant,too,isnottrustworthy,andshouldbedismissedifpossible。\" \"Hadhespokenatallofhisplans?\"askedDerrick,andhisvoicesoundedstrangelyunlikeitself。 \"HeaskedmewhatplaceinEnglandhehadbettersettledownin,\" saidthedoctor,\"andIstronglyrecommendedhimtotryBath。Thisseemedtopleasehim,andifheiswellenoughhehadbettergothereto—morrow。Hementionedyourmotherthismorning;nodoubtshewillknowhowtomanagehim。\" \"Mymotherdiedsixmonthsago,\"saidDerrick,pushingbackhischairandbeginningtopacetheroom。Thedoctormadekindlyapologies。 \"Perhapsyouhaveasister,whocouldgotohim?\" \"No,\"repliedDerrick。\"Myonlysisterismarried,andherhusbandwouldneverallowit。\" \"Oracousinoranaunt?\"suggestedtheoldman,naivelyunconsciousthatthewordssoundedlikeaquotation。 IsawtheghostofasmileflitoverDerrick’sharassedfaceasheshookhishead。 \"IsuggestedthatheshouldgointosomeHomefor——casesofthekind,\"resumedthedoctor,\"orplacehimselfunderthechargeofsomemedicalman;however,hewon’thearofsuchathing。Butifheislefttohimself——well,itisallupwithhim。Hewilldrinkhimselftodeathinafewmonths。\" \"Heshallnotbeleftalone,\"saidDerrick;\"Iwilllivewithhim。 DoyouthinkIshoulddo?ItseemstobeHobson’schoice。\" Ilookedupinamazement——forherewasDerrickcalmlygivinghimselfuptoalifethatmustcrusheveryplanforthefuturehehadmade。 Didmenmakesuchachoiceasthatwhiletheytooktwoorthreeturnsinaroom?Didtheyspeaksocomposedlyafterastrugglethatmusthavebeensobitter?Thinkingitovernow,Ifeelsureitwashisextraordinarygiftofinsightandhisclearjudgmentwhichmadehimbehaveinthisway。Heinstantlyperceivedandpromptlyacted; theworstofthesufferingcamelongafter。 \"Why,ofcourseyouaretheverybestpersonintheworldforhim,\" saidthedoctor。\"Hehastakenafancytoyou,andevidentlyyouhaveacertaininfluencewithhim。Ifanyonecansavehimitwillbeyou。\" ButthethoughtofallowingDerricktobesacrificedtothatoldbruteofaMajorwasmorethanIcouldbearcalmly。 \"Amoremadschemewasneverproposed,\"Icried。\"Why,doctor,itwillbeutterruintomyfriend’scareer;hewillloseyearsthatnoonecanevermakeup。Andbesides,heisunfitforsuchastrain,hewillneverstandit。\" MyheartfelthotasIthoughtofDerrick,withhishighly—strung,sensitivenature,hisrefinement,hisgentleness,inconstantcompanionshipwithsuchamanasMajorVaughan。 \"Mydearsir,\"saidtheolddoctor,withagleaminhiseye,\"I understandyourfeelingwellenough。Butdependuponit,yourfriendhasmadetherightchoice,andthereisnodoubtthathe’llbestrongenoughtodohisduty。\" ThewordremindedmeoftheMajor’ssong,andmyvoicewasabominablysarcasticintoneasIsaidtoDerrick,\"Younolongerconsiderwritingyourdutythen?\" \"Yes,\"hesaid,\"butitmuststandsecondtothis。Don’tbevexed,Sydney;ourplansareknockedonthehead,butitisnotsobadasyoumakeout。Ihaveatanyrateenoughtoliveon,andcanaffordtowait。\" Therewasnomoretobesaid,andthenextdayIsawthatstrangetriosetoutontheirroadtoBath。TheMajorlookingmorewickedwhensoberthanhehaddonewhendrunk;theolddoctorkindlyandconsiderateasever;andDerrick,withanairofresolutionaboutthatEnglishfaceofhisandadauntlessexpressioninhiseyeswhichimpressedmecuriously。 Thesequiet,reservedfellowsarealwaysgivingoneoddsurprises。 Hehadastonishedmebythevigouranddepthofthefirstvolumeof’Lynwood’sHeritage。’Heastonishedmenowbyanewphaseinhisowncharacter。ApparentlyhewhohadalwaysbeencontenttofollowwhereIled,andtowatchliferatherthantotakeanactiveshareinit,nowintendedtostrikeoutaverydecidedlineofhisown。 ChapterIV。 \"BothGoetheandSchillerwereprofoundlyconvincedthatArtwasnoluxuryofleisure,nomereamusementtocharmtheidle,orrelaxthecareworn;butamightyinfluence,seriousinitsaimsalthoughpleasureableinitsmeans;asisterofReligion,bywhoseaidthegreatworld—schemewaswroughtintoreality。\" Lewes’sLifeofGoethe。 Manisaselfishbeing,andIamaparticularlyfinespecimenoftheraceasfarasthatcharacteristicgoes。IfIhadhadadozendrunkenparentsIshouldneverhavedancedattendanceononeofthem;yetinmysecretsoulIadmiredDerrickforthelinehehadtaken,forwemostlydoadmirewhatisunlikeourselvesandreallynoble,thoughitisthefashiontoseemtotallyindifferenttoeverythinginheavenandearth。ButallthesameIfeltannoyedaboutthewholebusiness,andwasgladtoforgetitinmyownaffairsatMondisfield。 Weekspassedby。Ilivedthroughamidsummerdreamofhappiness,andahardawaking。That,however,hasnothingtodowithDerrick’sstory,andmaybepassedover。InOctoberIsettleddowninMontagueStreet,Bloomsbury,andbegantoreadfortheBar,inaboutasdisagreeableaframeofmindascanbeconceived。OnemorningI foundonmybreakfasttablealetterinDerrick’shandwriting。Likemostmen,wehardlyevercorresponded——whatwomensayintheeternalletterstheysendtoeachotherIcan’tconceive——butitstruckmethatunderthecircumstancesIoughttohavesenthimalinetoaskhowhewasgettingon,andmyconscienceprickedmeasIrememberedthatIhadhardlythoughtofhimsinceweparted,beingabsorbedinmyownmatters。Theletterwasnotverylong,butwhenonereadbetweenthelinesitsomehowtoldagooddeal。Ihaveitlyingbyme,andthisisacopyofit: \"DearSydney,——DolikeagoodfellowgotoNorthAudleyStreetforme,tothehousewhichIdescribedtoyouastheonewhereLynwoodlodged,andtellmewhathewouldseebesidesthechurchfromhiswindow——ifshops,whatkind?AlsoifanyglimpseofOxfordStreetwouldbevisible。Thenifyou’lladdtoyourfavoursbygettingmeasecond—handcopyofLaveleye’s’SocialismeContemporain,’Ishouldbeforevergrateful。Wearesettledinhereallright。Bathisempty,butIpeopleitasfarasIcanwiththefolkoutof’Evelina’and’Persuasion。’HowdidyougetonatBlachington?andwhichoftheMissesMerrifieldwentintheend?Don’tbotheraboutthecommissions。Anytimewilldo。 \"Everyours,\"DerrickVaughan。\" Pooroldfellow!allthespiritseemedknockedoutofhim。TherewasnotonewordabouttheMajor,andwhocouldsaywhatwretchednesswasveiledinthatcurtphrase,\"wearesettledinallright\"?Allright!itwasallaswrongasitcouldbe!MybloodbegantoboilatthethoughtofDerrick,withhisgreatpowers——hiswonderfulgift——coopedupinaplacewherethestudyoflifewassolimitedandsodull。ThentherewashishungerfornewsofFreda,andhissilenceastowhathadkepthimawayfromBlachington,andaboutallasortofproudhumilitywhichpreventedhimfromsayingmuchthatIshouldhaveexpectedhimtosayunderthecircumstances。 ItwasSaturday,andmytimewasmyown。Iwentout,gothisbookforhim;interviewedNorthAudleyStreet;spentabadfiveminutesincompanywiththatvillain’Bradshaw,’whoisresponsibleforsomuchofthebrainandeyediseaseofthenineteenthcentury,andfinallyleftPaddingtonintheFlyingDutchman,whichlandedmeatBathearlyintheafternoon。Ileftmyportmanteauatthestation,andwalkedthroughthecitytillIreachedGayStreet。LikemostofthestreetsofBath,itwasbroad,andhadoneitherhanddull,well—built,darkgrey,eminentlyrespectable,unutterablydreary— lookinghouses。Irang,andthedoorwasopenedtomebyamostquaintoldwoman,evidentlythelandlady。Anodourofcurrypervadedthepassage,andbecamemoreoppressiveasthedoorofthesitting—roomwasopened,andIwasusheredinupontheMajorandhisson,whohadjustfinishedlunch。 \"Hullo!\"criedDerrick,springingup,hisfacefullofdelightwhichtouchedme,whileatthesametimeitfilledmewithenvy。 EventheMajorthoughtfittogivemeaheartywelcome。 \"Gladtoseeyouagain,\"hesaidpleasantlyenough。\"It’sarelieftohaveafreshfacetolookat。Wehavearoomwhichisquiteatyourdisposal,andIhopeyou’llstaywithus。Broughtyourportmanteau,eh?\" \"Itisatthestation,\"Ireplied。 \"Seethatitissentfor,\"hesaidtoDerrick;\"andshowMr。 Wharncliffeallthatistobeseeninthiscursedholeofaplace。\" Then,turningagaintome,\"Haveyoulunched?Verywell,then,don’twastethisfineafternooninaninvalid’sroom,butbeoffandenjoyyourself。\" Socordialwastheoldman,thatIshouldhavethoughthimalreadyareformedcharacter,hadInotfoundthathekepttheroughsideofhistongueforhomeuse。Derrickplacedanovelandasmallhandbellwithinhisreach,andwewerejustgoing,whenwewerecheckedbyavolleyofoathsfromtheMajor;thenabookcameflyingacrosstheroom,wellaimedatDerrick’shead。Hesteppedaside,andletitfallwithacrashonthesideboard。 \"WhatdoyoumeanbygivingmethesecondvolumewhenyouknowIaminthethird?\"fumedtheinvalid。 Heapologisedquietly,fetchedthethirdvolume,straightenedthedisorderedleavesofthediscardedsecond,andwiththeairofonewellaccustomedtosuchlittledomesticscenes,tookuphishatandcameoutwithme。 \"HowlongdoyouintendtogoonplayingDavidtotheMajor’sSaul?\" Iasked,marvellingatthewayinwhichheenduredthehumoursofhisfather。 \"AslongasIhavethechance,\"hereplied。\"Isay,areyousureyouwon’tmindstayingwithus?Itcan’tbeaverycomfortablehouseholdforanoutsider。\" \"Muchbetterthanforaninsider,toallappearance,\"Ireplied。 \"I’monlytoodelightedtostay。Andnow,oldfellow,tellmethehonesttruth——youdidn’t,youknow,inyourletter——howhaveyoubeengettingon?\" Derricklaunchedintoanaccountofhisfather’sailments。 \"Oh,hangtheMajor!Idon’tcareabouthim,Iwanttoknowaboutyou,\"Icried。 \"Aboutme?\"saidDerrickdoubtfully。\"Oh,I’mrightenough。\" \"Whatdoyoudowithyourself?Howonearthdoyoukilltime?\"I asked。\"Come,givemeafull,true,andparticularaccountofitall。\" \"Wehavetriedthreeotherservants,\"saidDerrick;\"buttheplandoesn’tanswer。Theyeitherwon’tstandit,orelsetheyarebribedintosmugglingbrandyintothehouse。IfindIcandomostthingsformyfather,andinthemorninghehasanattendantfromthehospitalwhoistrustworthy,andwhodoeswhatisnecessaryforhim。 Attenwebreakfasttogether,thentherearethemorningpapers,whichhelikestohavereadtohim。AfterthatIgoroundtothePumpRoomwithhim——oddcontrastnowtowhatitmusthavebeenwhenBathwastherage。Thenwehavelunch。Intheafternoon,ifheiswellenough,wedrive;ifnothesleeps,andIgetawalk。LateronanoldIndianfriendofhiswillsometimesdropin;ifnothelikestobereadtountildinner。Afterdinnerweplaychess——heisafirst—rateplayer。AttenIhelphimtobed;fromeleventotwelveIsmokeandstudySocialismandalltherestofitthatLynwoodisatpresentflounderingin。\" \"Whydon’tyouwrite,then?\" \"Itriedit,butitdidn’tanswer。Icouldn’tsleepafterit,andwas,infact,tootired;seemsabsurdtobetiredaftersuchadayasthat,butsomehowittakesitoutofonemorethanthehardestreading;Idon’tknowwhy。\" \"Why,\"Isaidangrily,\"it’sbecauseitisworktowhichyouarequiteunsuited——workforathick—skinned,hard—hearted,uncultivatedandwell—paidattendant,notforthenovelistwhoistobethechieflightofourgeneration。\" Helaughedatthisestimateofhispowers。 \"Novelists,likeothercattle,havetoobeytheirowner,\"hesaidlightly。 IthoughtforamomentthathemeanttheMajor,andwasbreakingintoanangryremonstrance,whenIsawthathemeantsomethingquitedifferent。Itwasalwayshisstrongestpoint,thisextraordinaryconsciousnessofright,thisunwaveringbeliefthathehadtodoandthereforecoulddocertainthings。Withoutthis,Iknowthatheneverwrotealine,andinmyheartIbelievethiswasthecauseofhissuccess。 \"Thenyouarenotwritingatall?\"Iasked。 \"Yes,Iwritegenerallyforacoupleofhoursbeforebreakfast,\"hesaid。 Andthateveningwesatbyhisgasstoveandhereadmethenextfourchaptersof’Lynwood。’Hehadratheradismallodging—housebedroom,withfadedwall—paperandaprosaicsnuff—colouredcarpet。 Onaricketytableinthewindowwashisdesk,andaportfoliofullofbluefoolscap,buthehaddonewhathecouldtomaketheplacehabitable;hisOxfordpictureswereonthewalls——Hoffman’s’ChristspeakingtotheWomantakeninAdultery,’hangingoverthemantelpiece——ithadalwaysbeenafavouriteofhis。Irememberthat,ashereadthedescriptionofLynwoodandhiswife,IkeptlookingfromhimtotheChristinthepicturetillIcouldalmosthavefanciedthateachfaceborethesameexpression。HadthisstrangemonotonouslifewiththatoldbruteofaMajorbroughthimsomenewperceptionofthosewords,\"NeitherdoIcondemnthee\"? Butwhenhestoppedreading,I,truetomycharacter,forgothisaffairsinmyown,aswesattalkingfarintothenight——talkingofthatlucklessmonthatMondisfield,ofalltheproblemsithadopenedup,andofmywretchedness。 \"YouwereintownallSeptember?\"heasked;\"yougaveupBlachington?\" \"Yes,\"Ireplied。\"WhatdidIcareforcountryhousesinsuchamoodasthat。\" Heacquiesced,andIwentontalkingofmygrievances,anditwasnottillIwasinthetrainonmywaybacktoLondonthatI rememberedhowalookofdisappointmenthadpassedoverhisfacejustatthemoment。EvidentlyhehadcountedonlearningsomethingaboutFredafromme,andI——well,Ihadcleanforgottenbothherexistenceandhispassionatelove。 Something,probablyself—interest,thedesireformyfriend’scompany,andsoforth,tookmedowntoBathprettyfrequentlyinthosedays;luckilytheMajorhadasortoflikingforme,andwasalwayspoliteenough;anddearoldDerrick——well,Ibelievemyvisitsreallyhelpedtobrightenhimup。Atanyratehesaidhecouldn’thavebornehislifewithoutthem,andforasceptical,dismal,cynicalfellowlikemetohearthatwassomehowflattering。 Themereforceofcontrastdidmegood。IusedtocomebackontheMondaywonderingthatDerrickdidn’tcuthisthroat,andrealisingthat,afterall,itwassomethingtobeafreeagent,andtohavecomfortableroomsinMontagueStreet,withnooldbearofadrunkardtodisturbmypeace。Andthenasortofadmirationsprangupinmyheart,andthecynicismbredofmelancholybroodingsoversolitarypipeswaslessrampantthanusual。 Itwas,Ithink,earlyinthenewyearthatImetLawrenceVaughaninBath。HewasnotstayingatGayStreet,soIcouldstillhavethevacantroomnexttoDerrick’s。LawrenceputupattheYorkHouseHotel。 \"Foryouknow,\"heinformedme,\"Ireallycan’tstandthegovernorformorethananhourortwoatatime。\" \"Derrickmanagestodoit,\"Isaid。 \"Oh,Derrick,yes,\"hereplied,\"it’shismetier,andheiswellaccustomedtothelife。Besides,youknow,heissuchadreamy,quietsortoffellow;helivesallthetimeinaworldofhisowncreation,andbearsthediscomfortsofthisworldwithgreatphilosophy。Actuallyhehasturnedteetotaller!Itwouldkillmeinaweek。\" Imakeapointofneverarguingwithafellowlikethat,butIthinkIhadavindictivelonging,asIlookedathim,toshuthimupwiththeMajorforamonth,andseewhatwouldhappen。 Thesetwinbrotherswerecuriouslyalikeinfaceandcuriouslyunlikeinnature。Somuchforthegreatscienceofphysiognomy!Itoftenseemedtomethattheywerethecomplementofeachother。Forinstance,Derrickinsocietywasextremelysilent,Lawrencewasarattlingtalker;Derrick,whenalonewithyou,wouldnowandthenrevealunsuspecteddepthsofthoughtandexpression;Lawrence,whenalonewithyou,veryfrequentlyshowedhimselftobeacad。Theeldertwinwasmodestanddiffident,theyoungerinclinedtobrag; theonehadastrongtendencytomelancholy,theotherwasblestorcursedwiththesortoftemperamentwhichhasbeensaidtoaccompany\"ahardheartandagooddigestion。\" Iwasnotsurprisedtofindthatthesonwhocouldnottoleratethegovernor’spresenceformorethananhourortwo,wasaprimefavouritewiththeoldman;thatwasjustthewayoftheworld。Ofcourse,theMajorwasaspoliteaspossibletohim;DerrickgotthekicksandLawrencethehalf—pence。 Intheeveningsweplayedwhist,Lawrencecominginafterdinner,\"For,youknow,\"heexplainedtome,\"Ireallycouldn’tgetthroughamealwithnothingbutthoseinfernalmineralwaterstowashitdown。\" AndhereImustownthatatmyfirstvisitIhadsailedratherclosetothewind;forwhentheMajor,liketheHatterin’Alice,’pressedmetotakewine,I——notseeingany——hadansweredthatIdidnottakeit;mentallyaddingthewords,\"inyourhouse,youbrute!\" Thetwobrotherswerefondofeachotherafterafashion。ButDerrickwashuman,andhadhisfaultsliketherestofus;andIamprettysurehedidnotmuchenjoythesightofhisfather’sfoolishandunreasonabledevotiontoLawrence。Ifyoucometothinkofit,hewouldhavebeenafull—fledgedangelifnojealouspang,noreflectionthatitwasratherroughonhim,hadcrossedhismind,whenhesawhisyoungerbrothertreatedwitheverymarkofrespectandliking,andknewthatLawrencewouldneverstirafingerreallytohelpthepoorfractiousinvalid。Unluckilytheyhappenedonenighttogetonthesubjectofprofessions。