\"It’sacomfort，\"saidtheMajor，inhissarcasticway，\"tohaveafellow—soldiertotalktoinsteadofaquill—driver，whoasyetisnotevenapenny—a—liner。Eh，Derrick？Don’tyoufeelinclinedtoregretyourfool’schoicenow？YoumighthavebeenstartingoffforthewarwithLawrencenextweek，ifyouhadn’tchosenwhatyou’repleasedtocallaliterarylife。Literarylife，indeed!Ilittlethoughtasonofminewouldeverhavebeensowantinginspiritastopreferdabblingininktoalifeofaction——tobethescribblerofmerewords，ratherthananofficerofdragoons。\"
ThentomyastonishmentDerricksprangtohisfeetinhotindignation。Ineversawhimlooksohandsome，beforeorsince；forhisangerwasnotthedistorting，devilishangerthattheMajorgavewayto，butrealdownrightwrath。
\"Youspeakcontemptuouslyofmerenovels，\"hesaidinalowvoice，yetmoreclearlythanusual，andasifthewordswerewrungoutofhim。\"Whatrighthaveyoutolookdownononeofthegreatestweaponsoftheday？andwhyisawritertosubmittoscoffsandinsultsandtamelytohearhisprofessionreviled？Ihavechosentowritethemessagethathasbeengivenme，andIdon’tregretthechoice。ShouldIhaveshowngreaterspiritifIhadsoldmyfreedomandrightofjudgmenttobeoneofthenationalkillingmachines？\"
Withthathethrewdownhiscardsandstrodeoutoftheroominawhiteheatofanger。Itwasapityhemadethatlastremark，foritputhiminthewrongandneedlesslyannoyedLawrenceandtheMajor。
Butanangrymanhasnotimetoweighhiswords，and，asIsaid，pooroldDerrickwasveryhuman，andwhenwoundedtoointolerablycouldonoccasionretaliate。
TheMajorutteredanoathandlookedinastonishmentattheretreatingfigure。Derrickwassuchanextraordinarilyquiet，respectful，long—sufferingsonasarule，thatthisoutburstwasstartlingintheextreme。Moreover，itspoiltthegame，andtheoldman，chafedbytheresultofhisownill—nature，andhelplesstobringbackhispartner，wasforcedtobetakehimselftochess。I
lefthimgrumblingawaytoLawrenceaboutthevanityofauthors，andwentoutinthehopeoffindingDerrick。AsIleftthehouseIsawsomeoneturnthecornerintotheCircus，andstartinginpursuit，overtookthetall，darkfigurewhereBennettStreetopensontotheLansdowneHill。
\"I’mgladyouspokeup，oldfellow，\"Isaid，takinghisarm。
Hemodifiedhispacealittle。\"Whyisit，\"heexclaimed，\"thateveryotherprofessioncanbetakenseriously，butthatanovelist’sworkissupposedtobemereplay？GoodGod!don’twesufferenough？
Havewenothardbrainworkanddrudgeryofdeskworkandtediousgatheringofstatisticsandtroublesomesearchintodetails？Havewenotanappallingweightofresponsibilityonus？——andarewenotatthemercyofathousandcapriciouschances？\"
\"Comenow，\"Iexclaimed，\"youknowthatyouareneversohappyaswhenyouarewriting。\"
\"Ofcourse，\"hereplied；\"butthatdoesn’tmakemeresentsuchanattacktheless。Besides，youdon’tknowwhatitistohavetowriteinsuchanatmosphereasours；it’slikeaweightonone’spen。Thislifehereisnotlifeatall——it’sadailydeath，andit’skillingthebooktoo；thelastchaptersarewretched——I’mutterlydissatisfiedwiththem。\"
\"Asforthat，\"Isaidcalmly，\"youarenojudgeatall。Youcannevertelltheworthofyourownwork；thelastbitissplendid。\"
\"Icouldhavedoneitbetter，\"hegroaned。\"Butthereisalwaysaghastlydepressiondraggingonebackhere——andthenthetimeissoshort；justasonegetsintotheswingofitthebreakfastbellrings，andthencomes——\"Hebrokeoff。
Icouldwellsupplytheendofthesentence，however，forIknewthatthencametheslowtortureofatete—a—tetedaywiththeMajor，stingingsarcasms，humiliatingscoldings，vexationsanddifficultiesinnumerable。
Idrewhimtotheleft，havingnomindtogotothetopofthehill。
WeslackenedourpaceagainandwalkedtoandfroalongthebroadlevelpavementofLansdowneCrescent。Wehaditentirelytoourselves——notanothercreaturewasinsight。
\"Icouldbearitall，\"heburstforth，\"ifonlytherewasachanceofseeingFreda。Oh，youarebetteroffthanIam——atleast，youknowtheworst。Yourhopeiskilled，butminelivesonatortured，starvedlife!WouldtoGodIhadneverseenher!\"
CertainlybeforethatnightIhadneverquiterealisedtheirrevocablenessofpoorDerrick’spassion。IhadhalfhopedthattimeandseparationwouldgraduallyeffaceFredaMerrifieldfromhismemory；andIlistenedwithadireforebodingtothefloodofwretchednesswhichhepouredforthaswepacedupanddown，thinkingnowandthenhowlittlepeopleguessedatthetremendouspowershiddenunderhisusuallyquietexterior。
Atlengthhepaused，buthislastheart—brokenwordsseemedtovibrateintheairandtoforcemetospeaksomekindofcomfort。
\"Derrick，\"Isaid，\"comebackwithmetoLondon——giveupthismiserablelife。\"
Ifelthimstartalittle；evidentlynothoughtofyieldinghadcometohimbefore。Wewerepassingthehousethatusedtobelongtothatstrangebook—loverandrecluse，Beckford。Ilookedupattheblankwindows，andthoughtofthatcurious，self—centredlifeinthepast，surroundedbyeveryluxury，abletoindulgeeverywhim；andthenIlookedatmycompanion’spale，torturedface，andthoughtofthelifehehadelectedtoleadinthehopeofsavingonewhomdutyboundhimtohonour。Afterall，whichlifewasthemostworthliving——whichwasthemosttobeadmired？
Wewalkedon；downbelowusanduponthefartherhillwecouldseethelightsofBath；theplacesobeautifulbydaylookednowlikeafairycity，andtheAbbey，loomingupagainstthemoon—litsky，seemedlikesomegreatgiantkeepingwatchovertheclusteringroofsbelow。Thewell—knownchimesrangoutintothenightandtheclockstruckten。
\"Imustgoback，\"saidDerrick，quietly。\"Myfatherwillwanttogettobed。\"
Icouldn’tsayaword；weturned，passedBeckford’shouseoncemore，walkedbrisklydownthehill，andreachedtheGayStreetlodging—
house。Irememberthestiflingheatoftheroomasweenteredit，anditscontrasttothecool，dark，winter’snightoutside。Icanvividlyrecall，too，theoldMajor’sfaceashelookedupwithasarcasticremark，butwithashadeofanxietyinhisbloodshoteyes。
Hewasleaningbackinagreen—cushionedchair，andhisghastlyyellowcomplexionseemedtomemorenoticeablethanusual——hisscantygreyhairandwhiskers，thelinesofpainsoplainlyvisibleinhisface，impressedmecuriously。IthinkIhadneverbeforerealisedwhatawreckofamanhewas——howutterlydependentonothers。
Lawrence，who，todohimjustice，hadagooddealoftact，andwho，Ibelieve，caredforhisbrotherasmuchashewascapableofcaringforanyonebuthimself，repeatedagoodstorywithwhichhehadbeenenliveningtheMajor，andIdidwhatIcouldtokeepupthetalk。Derrickmeanwhileputawaythechessmen，andlightedtheMajor’scandle。HeevenmanagedtoforceupalaughatLawrence’sstory，and，ashehelpedhisfatheroutoftheroom，IthinkIwastheonlyonewhonoticedthelookoftiredenduranceinhiseyes。
ChapterV。
\"IknowHowfarhighfailureovertopstheboundsOflowsuccesses。OnlysufferingdrawsTheinnerheartofsong，andcanelicitTheperfumesofthesoul。\"
EpicofHades。
Nextweek，Lawrencewentofflikeaherotothewar；andmyfriend——
alsoIthinklikeahero——stayedonatBath，enduringasbesthecouldtheworstformofloneliness；forundoubtedlythereisnolonelinesssofrightfulasconstantcompanionshipwithanuncongenialperson。Hehad，however，oneconsolation：theMajor’shealthsteadilyimproved，underthejointinfluenceoftotalabstinenceandBathwater，and，withtheimprovement，histemperbecamealittlebetter。
ButoneSaturday，whenIhadrundowntoBathwithoutwritingbeforehand，Isuddenlyfoundadifferentstateofthings。InOrangeGroveImetDr。Mackrill，theMajor’smedicalman；heusednowandthentoplaywhistwithusonSaturdaynights，andIstoppedtospeaktohim。
\"Oh!you’vecomedownagain。That’sallright!\"hesaid。\"Yourfriendwantssomeonetocheerhimup。He’sgothisarmbroken。\"
\"Howonearthdidhemanagethat？\"Iasked。
\"Well，that’smorethanIcantellyou，\"saidtheDoctor，withanoddlookinhiseyes，asifheguessedmorethanhewouldputintowords。\"AllthatIcouldgetoutofhimwasthatitwasdoneaccidentally。TheMajorisnotsowell——nowhistforusto—night，I’mafraid。\"
Hepassedon，andImademywaytoGayStreet。Therewasanairofmysteryaboutthequaintoldlandlady；shelookedbrimfulofnewswhensheopenedthedoortome，butshemanagedto’keepherselftoherself，’andshowedmeinupontheMajorandDerrick，rathertriumphantlyIthought。TheMajorlookedterriblyill——worsethanI
hadeverseenhim，andasforDerrick，hehadthestrangestlookofshrinkingandshame—facednessyoueversaw。Hesaidhewasgladtoseeme，butIknewthathelied。Hewouldhavegivenanythingtohavekeptmeaway。
\"Brokenyourarm？\"Iexclaimed，feelingboundtotakesomenoticeofthesling。
\"Yes，\"hereplied；\"metwithanaccidenttoit。Butluckilyit’sonlytheleftone，soitdoesn’thindermemuch!Ihavefinishedsevenchaptersofthelastvolumeof’Lynwood，’andwasjustwantingtoaskyoualegalquestion。\"
Allthistimehiseyesboremyscrutinydefiantly；theyseemedtodaremetosayoneotherwordaboutthebrokenarm。Ididn’tdare——
indeedtothisdayIhavenevermentionedthesubjecttohim。
Butthatevening，whilehewashelpingtheMajortobed，theoldlandladymadesomepretextfortoilinguptothetopofthehouse，whereIsatsmokinginDerrick’sroom。
\"You’llexcusemymakingboldtospeaktoyou，sir，\"shesaid。I
threwdownmynewspaper，and，lookingup，sawthatshewasbubblingoverwithsomestory。
\"Well？\"Isaid，encouragingly。
\"It’saboutMr。Vaughan，sir，Iwantedtospeaktoyou。Ireallydothink，sir，it’snotsafeheshouldbeleftalonewithhisfather，sir，anylonger。Suchdoingsaswehadheretheotherday，sir!
Somehoworother——andnoneofuscan’tthinkhow——theMajorhadmanagedtogetholdofabottleofbrandy。HowhehaditIdon’tknow；butwenoneofussuspectedhim，andintheafternoonhesayshewastoopoorlytogoforadriveortogooutinhischair，andsettlesoffontheparloursofaforanapwhileMr。Vaughangoesoutforawalk。Mr。Vaughanwasoutacoupleofhours。Iheardhimcomeinandgointothesitting—room；thentherecamesoundsofvoices，andascufflingoffeetandmovingofchairs，andIknewsomethingwaswrongandhurrieduptothedoor——andjustthencameacrashlikefire—irons，andIcouldheartheMajora—swearingfearful。NothearingasoundfromMr。Vaughan，Igotscared，sir，andopenedthedoor，andthereIsawtheMajoraleaningupagainstthemantelpieceasdrunkasalord，andhissonseemedtohavegotthebottlefromhim；itwashalfempty，andwhenhesawmehejusthandedittomeandorderedmetotakeitaway。ThenbetweenuswegottheMajortoliedownonthesofaandlefthimthere。WhenwegotoutintothepassageMr。Vaughanheleantagainstthewallforaminute，lookingaswhiteasasheet，andthenInoticedforthefirsttimethathisleftarmwashangingdownathisside。’Lord!
sir，’Icried，’yourarm’sbroken。’Andhewentallatonceasredashehadbeenpalejustbefore，andsaidhehadgotitdoneaccidentally，andbademesaynothingaboutit，andwalkedoffthereandthentothedoctor’s，andhaditset。Butsir，givenamandrunkastheMajorwas，andgivenascuffletogetawaythedrinkthatwaspoisoninghim，andgivenacrashsuchasIheard，andgivenapokera—lyinginthemiddleoftheroomwhereitstandstoreasonnopokercouldgetunlessitwasthrown——why，sir，nosensiblewomanwhocanputtwoandtwotogethercandoubtthatitwasalltheMajor’sdoing。\"
\"Yes，\"Isaid，\"thatisclearenough；butforMr。Vaughan’ssakewemusthushitup；and，asforsafety，why，theMajorishardlystrongenoughtodohimanyworsedamagethanthat。\"
Thegoodoldthingwipedawayatearfromhereyes。ShewasveryfondofDerrick，anditwenttoherheartthatheshouldleadsuchadog’slife。
IsaidwhatIcouldtocomforther，andshewentdownagain，fearfullestheshoulddiscoverherupstairsandguessthatshehadopenedherhearttome。
PoorDerrick!Thatheofallpeopleonearthshouldbemixedupwithsuchapolicecourtstory——withdrunkard，andviolence，andpokersfiguringinit!IlaybackinthecampchairandlookedatHoffman’s’Christ，’andthoughtofalltheextraordinaryproblemsthatoneisforevercomingacrossinlife。AndIwonderedwhetherthepeopleofBathwhosawthetall，impassive—looking，hazel—eyedsonandtheinvalidfatherintheirdailypilgrimagestothePumpRoom，orinchurchonSunday，orintheParkonsunnyafternoonshadtheleastnotionofthetragedythatwasgoingon。Myreflectionswereinterruptedbyhisentrance。HehadforcedupacheerfulnessthatIamsurehedidn’treallyfeel，andseemedafraidoflettingourtalkflagforamoment。Iremember，too，thatforthefirsttimeheofferedtoreadmehisnovel，insteadofasusualwaitingformetoasktohearit。Icanseehimnow，fetchingtheuntidyportfolioandturningoverthepages，adroitlyenough，asthoughanxioustoshowhowimmaterialwasthelossofaleftarm。ThatnightIlistenedtothefirsthalfofthethirdvolumeof’Lynwood’sHeritage，’andcouldn’thelpreflectingthatitsauthorseemedtothriveonmisery；andyethowIgrudgedhimtothisdeadly—livelyplace，andthismonotonous，cooped—uplife。
\"Howdoyoumanagetowriteone—handed？\"Iasked。
Andhesatdowntohisdesk，putaletter—weightontheleft—handcornerofthesheetoffoolscap，andwrotethatcomicalfirstparagraphoftheeighthchapteroverwhichwehavealllaughed。I
supposefewreadersguessedtheauthor’sstateofmindwhenhewroteit。Ilookedoverhisshouldertoseewhathehadwritten，andcouldn’thelplaughingaloud——Iverilybelievethatitwashiswayofturningoffattentionfromhisarm，andleadingmesafelyfromtheregionofawkwardquestions。
\"By—the—by，\"Iexclaimed，\"yourwritingofgarden—partiesremindsme。IwenttooneatCampdenHilltheotherday，andhadthegoodfortunetomeetMissFredaMerrifield。\"
Howhisfacelightedup，poorfellow，andwhatafloodofquestionshepouredout。\"Shelookedverywellandverypretty，\"Ireplied。
\"Iplayedtwosetsoftenniswithher。Sheaskedafteryoudirectlyshesawme，seemingtothinkthatwealwayshuntedincouples。I
toldheryouwerelivinghere，takingcareofaninvalidfather；butjustthenupcametheotherstoarrangethegame。SheandIgotthebestcourts，andaswecrossedovertothemshetoldmeshehadmetyourbrotherseveraltimeslastautumn，whenshehadbeenstayingnearAldershot。Oddthathenevermentionedherhere；butIdon’tsupposeshemademuchimpressiononhim。Sheisnotatallhisstyle。\"
\"Didyouhavemuchmoretalkwithher？\"heasked。
\"No，nothingtobecalledtalk。ShetoldmetheywereleavingLondonnextweek，andshewaslongingtogetbacktothecountrytoherbelovedanimals——rabbits，poultry，anaviary，andallthatkindofthing。Ishouldgatherthattheyhadkeptherratherinthebackgroundthisseason，butIunderstandthattheeldestsisteristobemarriedinthewinter，andthennodoubtMissFredawillbebroughtforward。\"
Heseemedwonderfullycheeredbythisopportunemeeting，andthoughtherewassolittletotellheappearedtobequitecontent。IlefthimonMondayinfairlygoodspirits，anddidnotcomeacrosshimagaintillSeptember，whenhisarmwaswell，andhisnovelfinishedandrevised。Henevermadetwocopiesofhiswork，andIfancythiswasperhapsbecausehespentsoshortatimeeachdayinactualwriting，andlivedsocontinuallyinhiswork；moreover，asIsaidbefore，hedetestedpenmanship。
Thelastpartof’Lynwood’farexceededmyexpectations；perhaps——
yetIdon’treallythinkso——Iviewedittoofavourably。ButIowedthebookadebtofgratitude，sinceitcertainlyhelpedmethroughtheworstpartofmylife。
\"Don’tyoufeelflatnowitisfinished？\"Iasked。
\"IfeltsomiserablethatIhadtoplungeintoanotherstorythreedaysafter，\"hereplied；andthenandtherehegavemethesketchofhissecondnovel，’AtStrife，’andtoldmehowhemeanttoweaveinhischildishfanciesaboutthedefenceofthebridgeintheCivilWars。
\"Andabout’Lynwood？’Areyoucominguptotowntohawkhimround？\"
Iasked。
\"Ican’tdothat，\"hesaid；\"youseeIamtiedhere。No，Imustsendhimoffbyrail，andlethimtakehischance。\"
\"Nosuchthing!\"Icried。\"Ifyoucan’tleaveBathIwilltakehimroundforyou。\"
AndDerrick，whowiththeoddestinconsistencywouldlethisMS。lieaboutanyhowathome，buthatedthethoughtofsendingitoutaloneonitstravels，gladlyacceptedmyoffer。SonextweekIsetoffwiththehugebrownpaperparcel；few，however，willappreciatemygoodnature，fornoonebutanauthororapublisherknowsthefearfulweightofathreevolumenovelinMS。!TomyintensesatisfactionIsoongotridofit，forthefirstgoodfirmtowhichItookitreceiveditwithgreatpoliteness，tobehandedovertotheir’reader’foranopinion；andapparentlythe’reader’s’opinioncoincidedwithmine，foramonthlaterDerrickreceivedanofferforitwithwhichheatonceclosed——notbecauseitwasagoodone，butbecausethefirmwaswellthoughtof，andbecausehewishedtolosenotime，buttohavethebookpublishedatonce。Ihappenedtobetherewhenhisfirst’proofs’arrived。TheMajorhadhadanattackofjaundice，andwasinafiendishhumour。Wehadamiserabletimeofitatdinner，forhebadgeredDerrickalmostpastbearing，andI
thinkthepooroldfellowmindeditmorewhentherewasathirdpersonpresent。Somehowthroughallhemanagedtokeephisextraordinarycapacityforreverencingmereage——eventhisdegradedanddetestableoldageoftheMajor’s。Ioftenthoughtthatinthishewaslikemyownancestor，HugoWharncliffe，whosedeferenceandrespectfulnessandpatiencehadnotdescendedtome，whileunfortunatelytheeffectsofhisphysicalinfirmitieshad。I
sometimesusedtoreflectbitterlyenoughonthetruthofHerbertSpencer’steachingastoheredity，soclearlyshowninmyowncase。
Intheyear1683，throughtheabominablecrueltyandharshnessofhisbrotherRandolph，thisHugoWharncliffe，mygreat—great—great—
great—greatgrandfather，wasimmuredinNewgate，andhisconstitutionwastherebysomuchimpairedandenfeebledthat，twohundredyearsafter，myconstitutionispayingthepenalty，andmywholelifeistherebychangedandthwarted。HencethischildlessRandolphisaffectingthecourseofseverallivesinthe19thcenturytotheirgrievoushurt。
Butrevenonsanosmoutons——thatistosay，toourlionandlamb——
theoldbruteofaMajorandhislong—sufferingson。
Whilethetablewasbeingcleared，theMajortookfortywinksonthesofa，andwetwobeataretreat，litupourpipesinthepassage，andwerejustturningoutwhenthepostman’sdoubleknockcame，butnoshowersoflettersinthebox。Derrickthrewopenthedoor，andthemanhandedhimafat，stumpy—lookingrollinapinkwrapper。
\"Isay!\"heexclaimed，\"PROOFS!\"
And，inhothaste，hebegantearingawaythepinkpaper，tilloutcametheclean，foldedbitsofprintingandthedirtyanddishevelledbluefoolscap，thelookofwhichIknewsowell。Itisanoddfeeling，thatfirstseeingone’sselfinprint，andIcouldguess，eventhen，whatathrillshotthroughDerrickasheturnedoverthepages。Buthewouldnottakethemintothesitting—room，nodoubtdreadinganotherdiatribeagainsthisprofession；andwesolemnlyplayedeuchre，andpatientlyenduredtheMajor’switheringsarcasmstillteno’clocksoundedourhappyrelease。
However，tomakealongstoryshort，amonthlater——thatis，attheendofNovember——’Lynwood’sHeritage’waspublishedinthreevolumeswithmaroonclothandgiltlettering。Derrickhaddistributedamonghisfriendsthepublishers’announcementofthedayofpublication；
andwhenitwasoutIbesiegedthelibrariesforit，alwaysexpressingsurpriseifIdidnotfinditintheirlists。Thenbeganthetimeofreviews。AsIhadexpected，theywereextremelyfavourable，withtheexceptionoftheHerald，theStroller，andtheHour，whichmadeitratherhotforhim，thelatterinparticularpitchingintohisviewsandassuringitsreadersthatthebookwas’dangerous，’anditsauthorabelieverin——variousthingespeciallyrepugnanttoDerrick，atithappened。
Iwaswithhimwhenhereadthesereviews。OvertheclevernessofthesatiricalattackintheWeeklyHeraldhelaughedheartily，thoughthelaughwasagainsthimself；andastothecriticwhowroteintheStrolleritwasapparenttoallwhoknew’Lynwood’thathehadnotreadmuchofthebook；butoverthisreviewintheHourhewasgenuinelyangry——ithurthimpersonally，and，asitafterwardsturnedout，playednosmallpartinthestoryofhislife。Thegoodreviews，however，weremany，andtheirrecommendationofthebookhearty；theyallprophesiedthatitwouldbeagreatsuccess。Yet，spiteofthis，’Lynwood’sHeritage’didn’tsell。Wasit，asIhadfeared，thatDerrickwastoodevoidofthepushingfacultyevertomakeasuccessfulwriter？Orwasitthathewashandicappedbybeingdownintheprovincesplayingkeepertothatabominableoldbear？Anyhow，thebookwaswellreceived，readwithenthusiasmbyanextremelysmallcircle，andthenitdroppeddowntothebottomamongthemassofoverlookedliterature，anditscareerseemedtobeover。IcanrecallthelookinDerrick’sfacewhenonedayheglancedthroughthenewMudieandSmithlistsandfound’Lynwood’sHeritage’nolongerdown。IhadbeentryingtocheerhimupaboutthebookandquotingallthefavourableremarksIhadheardaboutit。Butunluckilythiswasdamningevidenceagainstmyoptimistview。
Hesighedheavilyandputdownthelists。
\"It’snousetodeceiveone’sself，\"hesaid，drearily，\"’Lynwood’
hasfailed。\"
Somethinginthedeepdepressionoflookandtonegavemeamomentaryinsightintotheauthor’sheart。Hethought，Iknow，oftheagonyofmindthisbookhadcosthim；ofthoselongmonthsofwaitingandtheirdeadlystruggle，ofthehopeswhichhadmadeallhepassedthroughseemsowellworthwhile；andthebitternessofthedisappointmentwasnodoubtintensifiedbytheknowledgethattheMajorwouldrejoiceoverit。
WewalkedthatafternoonalongtheBradfordValley，aroadwhichDerrickwasspeciallyfondof。Helovedthethickly—woodedhills，andtheglimpsesoftheAvon，which，flankedbythecanalandtherailway，runsparallelwiththehighroad；healwaysadmired，too，acertainlittlevillagewithgreystonecottageswhichlayinthisdirection，andlikedtolookatthesiteoftheoldhallneartheroad：nothingremainedofitbutthetallgatepostsandrustyirongateslookingstrangelydrearyanddeserted，andwithinonecouldsee，betweensomedarkyewtrees，anoldterracewalkwithstonestepsandbalustrades——themostghostly—lookingplaceyoucanconceive。
\"Iknowyou’llputthisintoabooksomeday，\"Isaid，laughing。
\"Yes，\"hesaid，\"itisalreadybeginningtosimmerinmybrain。\"
Apparentlyhisdeepdisappointmentastohisfirstventurehadinnowayaffectedhisperfectlyclearconsciousnessthat，comewhatwould，hehadtowrite。
AswewalkedbacktoBathhetoldmehis’RuinedHall’storyasfarasithadyetevolveditselfinhisbrain，andwewerestilldiscussingitwheninMilsomStreetwemetaboycryingeveningpapers，anddetailsofthelastgreatbattleatSaspatarasHill。
Derrickbrokeoffhastily，everythingbutanxietyforLawrencedrivenfromhismind。
ChapterVI。
\"Saynot，OSoul，thouartdefeated，Becausethouartdistressed；
Ifthouofbetterthingartcheated，Thoucanstnotbeofbest。\"
T。T。Lynch。
\"Goodheavens，Sydney!\"heexclaimedingreatexcitementandwithhiswholefaceaglowwithpleasure，\"lookhere!\"
HepointedtoafewlinesinthepaperwhichmentionedtheheroicconductofLieutenantL。Vaughan，whoattheriskofhislifehadrescuedabrotherofficerwhensurroundedbytheenemyandcompletelydisabled。LieutenantVaughanhadmanagedtomountthewoundedmanonhisownhorseandhadmiraculouslyescapedhimselfwithnothingworsethanasword—thrustintheleftarm。
WewenthomeintriumphtotheMajor，andDerrickreadthewholeaccountaloud。Withallhisdetestationofwar，hewasneverthelessgreatlystirredbythedescriptionofthegallantdefenceoftheattackedposition——andforatimewewereallatone，andcouldtalkofnothingbutLawrence’sheroism，andVictoriaCrosses，andtheprospectsofpeace。However，alltoosoon，theMajor’sfiendishtemperreturned，andhebegantousetheeventofthedayasaweaponagainstDerrick，continuallytauntinghimwiththecontrastbetweenhisstay—at—homelifeofscribblingandLawrence’slifeofheroicadventure。Icouldnevermakeoutwhetherhewantedtogoadhissonintoleavinghim，inorderthathemightdrinkhimselftodeathinpeace，orwhetherhemerelyindulgedinhisnaturalloveoftormenting，valuingDerrick’sdevotionasconducivetohisowncomfort，andknowingthathardwordswouldnotdrivehimfromwhathedeemedtobehisduty。Iratherinclinetothelatterview，buttheoldMajorwasalwaysanenigmatome；norcanItothisdaymakeouthisraison—d’etre，exceptonthetheorythatthetrainingofanovelistrequiredacourseofslowtorture，andthattheoldmanwassentintotheworldtobeasortofthorninthefleshofDerrick。
Whatwiththedisappointmentabouthisfirstbook，andthedifficultyofwritinghissecond，thefiercecravingforFreda’spresence，thestrugglenottoallowhisadmirationforLawrence’sbraverytobecomepoisonedbyenvyundertheinfluenceoftheMajor’sincessantattacks，Derrickhadjustthenahardtimeofit。
Henevercomplained，butInoticedagreatchangeinhim；hismelancholyincreased，hisflashesofhumourandmerrimentbecamefewerandfewer——Ibegantobeafraidthathewouldbreakdown。
\"ForGod’ssake!\"IexclaimedoneeveningwhenleftalonewiththeDoctorafteraneveningofwhist，\"doordertheMajortoLondon。
Derrickhasbeenmewedupherewithhimfornearlytwoyears，andI
don’tthinkhecanstanditmuchlonger。\"
SotheDoctorkindlycontrivedtoadvisetheMajortoconsultawell—knownLondonphysician，andtospendafortnightintown，furthersuggestingthatamonthatBenRhyddingmightbeenjoyablebeforesettlingdownatBathagainforthewinter。LuckilytheMajortooktotheidea，andjustasLawrencereturnedfromthewarDerrickandhisfatherarrivedintown。Thechangeseemedlikelytoworkwell，andIwasablenowandthentoreleasemyfriendandplaycribbagewiththeoldmanforanhourortwowhileDerricktoreaboutLondon，interviewedhispublisher，maderesearchesintoseventeenthcenturydocumentsattheBritishMuseum，andsomehowmanagedinhisrapidwaytoacquirethoseglimpsesoflifeandcharacterwhichheafterwardsturnedtosuchgoodaccount。Allwasgristthatcametohismill，andatfirstthemeresightofhisoldhome，London，seemedtorevivehim。OfcourseattheveryfirstopportunityhecalledattheProbyns’，andwebothofushadaninvitationtogothereonthefollowingWednesdaytoseethemarchpastofthetroopsandtolunch。Derrickwasnearlybesidehimselfattheprospect，forheknewthatheshouldcertainlymeetFredaatlast，andthemingledpainandblissofbeingactuallyinthesameplacewithher，yetascompletelyseparatedasifseasrolledbetweenthem，wasbeginningtotryhimterribly。
MeantimeLawrencehadturnedupagain，greatlyimprovedineverywaybyallthathehadlivedthrough，butrathertooreadytofallinwithhisfather’stonetowardsDerrick。Therelationsbetweenthetwobrothers——alwaysalittlepeculiar——becamemoreandmoredifficult，andtheMajorseemedtoenjoypittingthemagainsteachother。
Atlengththedayofthereviewarrived。Derrickwasnotlookingwell，hiseyeswereheavywithsleeplessness，andtheMajorhadbeenunusuallyexasperatingatbreakfastthatmorning，sothathestartedwithajaded，worn—outfeelingthatwouldnotwhollyyieldeventotheexcitementofthislong—expectedmeetingwithFreda。Whenhefoundhimselfinthegreatdrawing—roomatLordProbyn’shouse，amidabuzzoftalkandacrowdofstrangefaces，hewasseizedwithoneofthosesuddenattacksofshynesstowhichhewasalwaysliable。
Infact，hehadbeensolongalonewiththeoldMajorthatthisplungeintosocietywastoogreatareaction，andtheverythinghehadlongedforbecameatorturetohim。
FredawasattheotherendoftheroomtalkingtoKeithCollins，thewell—knownmemberforCodrington，whosecuriousbutattractivefacewasknowntoalltheworldthroughthecaricaturesofitin’Punch。’
IknewthatshesawDerrick，andthatheinstantlyperceivedher，andthatamiserablesenseofseparation，ofdistance，ofhopelessnessoverwhelmedhimashelooked。Afterall，itwasnaturalenough。FortwoyearshehadthoughtofFredanightandday；inhisunutterablydrearylifehermemoryhadbeenhisrefreshment，hissolace，hiscompanion。Nowhewassuddenlybroughtfacetoface，notwiththeFredaofhisdreams，butwithafashionable，beautifullydressed，much—soughtgirl，andhefeltthatagulflaybetweenthem；itwasthegulfofexperience。Freda’slifeinsociety，thewhirlofgaiety，theexcitementandsuccesswhichshehadbeenenjoyingthroughouttheseason，andhismiserablemonotonyofcompanionshipwithhisinvalidfather，ofhardworkandwearydisappointment，hadbrokendownthebondofunionthathadonceexistedbetweenthem。Fromeithersidetheylookedateachother——Fredawithawonderingperplexity，Derrickwithadullgrindingpainathisheart。
Ofcoursetheyspoketoeachother；butIfancythemerestplatitudespassedbetweenthem。Somehowtheyhadlosttouch，andacrowdedLondondrawing—roomwashardlytheplacetoregainit。
\"Soyournovelisreallyout，\"Iheardhersaytohiminthatdeep，clearvoiceofhers。\"Ilikethedesignonthecover。\"
\"Oh，haveyoureadthebook？\"saidDerrick，colouring。
\"Well，no，\"shesaidtruthfully。\"Iwantedtoreadit，butmyfatherwouldn’tletme——heisveryparticularaboutwhatweread。\"
ThatfrankbutnotveryhappilywordedanswerwaslikeastabtopoorDerrick。Hehadgiventotheworldthenabookthatwasnotfitforhertoread!This’Lynwood，’whichhadbeenwrittenwithhisownheart’sblood，wascountedadangerous，poisonousthing，fromwhichshemustbeguarded!
Fredamusthaveseenthatshehadhurthim，forshetriedhardtoretrieveherwords。
\"Itwastantalisingtohaveitactuallyinthehouse，wasn’tit？I
haveagrudgeagainsttheHour，foritwasthereviewinthatwhichsetmyfatheragainstit。\"Thenratheranxioustoleavethedifficultsubject——\"Andhasyourbrotherquiterecoveredfromhiswound？\"
IthinkshewasalittlevexedthatDerrickdidnotshowmoreanimationinhisrepliesaboutLawrence’sadventuresduringthewar；
thelessherespondedthemoreenthusiasticshebecame，andIamperfectlysurethatinherheartshewasthinking：
\"Heisjealousofhisbrother’sfame——Iamdisappointedinhim。Hehasgrowndull，andabsent，andstupid，andheisdreadfullywantinginsmall—talk。Ifearthathislifedownintheprovincesisturninghimintoabear。\"
Shebroughttheconversationbacktohisbook；buttherewasalittletouchofscorninhervoice，asifshethoughttoherself，\"I
supposeheisoneofthosepeoplewhocanonlytalkononesubject——
hisowndoings。\"Hermannerwasalmostbrusque。
\"Yournovelhashadagreatsuccess，hasitnot？\"sheasked。
Heinstantlyperceivedherthought，andrepliedwithatouchofdignityandaproudsmile：
\"Onthecontrary，ithasbeenagreatfailure；onlythreehundredandninecopieshavebeensold。\"
\"Iwonderatthat，\"saidFreda，\"foronesooftenheardittalkedof。\"
Hepromptlychangedthetopic，andbegantospeakofthemarchpast。
\"IwanttoseeLordStarcross，\"headded。\"Ihavenoideawhataheroislike。\"
JustthenLadyProbyncameup，followedbyanelderlyharpyinspectaclesandfalse，much—frizzedfringe。
\"Mrs。Carsteenwishestobeintroducedtoyou，Mr。Vaughan；sheisagreatadmirerofyourwritings。\"
AndpoorDerrick，whowasthenquiteunusedtothespecies，hadtostandandreceiveafloodofthemostfulsomeflattery，deliveredinastridentvoice，andtobearthecriticalandprolongedstareofthespectacledeyes。Norwouldtheharpyeasilyreleaseherprey。
Shekepthimmuchagainsthiswill，andIsawhimlookingwistfullynowandthentowardsFreda。
\"Itamusesme，\"Isaidtoher，\"thatDerrickVaughanshouldbesoanxioustoseeLordStarcross。ItremindsmeofCharlesLamb’sanxietytoseeKosciusko，’for，’saidhe，’Ihaveneverseenahero；
Iwonderhowtheylook，’whileallthetimehehimselfwaslivingalifeofheroicself—sacrifice。\"
\"Mr。Vaughan，Ishouldthink，needonlylookathisownbrother，\"
saidFreda，missingthedriftofmyspeech。
IlongedtotellherwhatitwaspossibletotellofDerrick’slife，butatthatmomentSirRichardMerrifieldintroducedtohisdaughteragirlinahugehatandgreatfloppingsleeves，MissIsaacson，whosepictureattheGrosvenorhadbeensomuchtalkedof。Nowthelittleartistknewnooneintheroom，andFredasawfittobeextremelyfriendlytoher。Shewasintroducedtome，andIdidmybesttotalktoherandsetFredaatlibertyassoonastheharpyhadreleasedDerrick；butmyendeavourswerefrustrated，forMissIsaacson，havinglookedmewellover，decidedthatIwasnotatallintense，butamerecommonplace，slightlycynicalworldling，andhavingexchangedafewlukewarmremarkswithme，shereturnedtoFreda，andstucktoherlikeaburfortherestofthetime。
Westoodoutonthebalconytoseethetroopsgoby。Itwasafinesight，andweallbecamehighlyenthusiastic。Fredaenjoyedthemerepageantlikeachild，andwasdelightedwiththehorses。ShelookednowmoreliketheFredaoftheyacht，andIwishedthatDerrickcouldbenearher；but，asill—luckwouldhaveit，hewasatsomedistance，hemmedinbyanimpassablebarrierofeagerspectators。
LawrenceVaughanrodepast，lookingwonderfullywellinhisuniform。
Hewasridingaspiritedbay，whichtookFreda’sfancyamazingly，thoughshereservedherchiefenthusiasmforLordStarcrossandhissteed。Itwasnotuntilallwasover，andwehadreturnedtothedrawing—room，thatDerrickmanagedtogetthetalkwithFredaforwhichIknewhewaslonging，andthentheywerefated，apparently，todisagree。Iwasstandingnearandoverheardthecloseoftheirtalk。
\"IdobelieveyoumustbeamemberofthePeaceSociety!\"saidFredaimpatiently。\"OrperhapsyouhaveturnedQuaker。ButIwanttointroduceyoutomygod—father，Mr。Fleming；youknowitwashissonwhomyourbrothersaved。\"
AndIheardDerrickbeingintroducedasthebrotheroftheheroofSaspatarasHill；andthenextdayhereceivedacardforoneofMrs。
Fleming’sreceptions，Lawrencehavingpreviouslybeeninvitedtodinethereonthesamenight。
WhathappenedatthatpartyIneverexactlyunderstood。AllIcouldgatherwasthatLawrencehadbeentremendouslyfeted，thatFredahadbeenpresent，andthatpooroldDerrickwasasmiserableashecouldbewhenInextsawhim。Puttingtwoandtwotogether，Iguessedthathehadbeentantalisedbyameresightofher，possiblytorturedbywatchingmorefavouredmenenjoyinglongtete—a—tetes；
buthewouldsaylittleornothingaboutit，andwhen，soonafter，heandtheMajorleftLondon，Ifearedthatthefortnighthaddonemyfriendharminsteadofgood。
ChapterVII。
\"Theninthathourrejoice，sinceonlythusCanthyproudheartgrowwhollypiteous。
ThusonlytotheworldthyspeechcanflowChargedwiththesadauthorityofwoe。
SincenomannurturedintheshadecansingToatruenoteonepsalmofconquering；
WarriorsmustchantitwhomourowneyesseeRedfromthebattleandmorebruisedthanwe，Menwhohavebornetheworst，haveknownthewhole，Havefeltthelastabeyanceofthesoul。\"
F。W。H。Myers。
AboutthebeginningofAugust，IrejoinedhimatBenRhydding。TheplacesuitedtheMajoradmirably，andhisvariousbathstookupsogreatapartofeachday，thatDerrickhadmoretimetohimselfthanusual，and’AtStrife’gotonrapidly。Hemuchenjoyed，too，thebeautifulcountryround，whilethehotelitself，withitshugegatheringofallsortsandconditionsofpeople，affordedhimendlessstudiesofcharacter。TheMajorbreakfastedinhisownroom，and，beingsomuchengrossedwithhisbaths，didnotgenerallyappeartilltwelve。DerrickandIbreakfastedinthegreatdining—
hall；andonemorning，whenthemealwasover，we，asusual，strolledintothedrawing—roomtoseeiftherewereanylettersawaitingus。
\"Oneforyou，\"Iremarked，handinghimathickenvelope。
\"FromLawrence!\"heexclaimed。
\"Well，don’treaditinhere；theDoctorwillbecomingtoreadprayers。Comeoutinthegarden，\"Isaid。
Wewentoutintothebeautifulgrounds，andhetoreopentheenvelopeandbegantoreadhisletteraswewalked。AllatonceI
feltthearmwhichwaslinkedinminegiveaquick，involuntarymovement，and，lookingup，sawthatDerrickhadturneddeadlypale。
\"What’sup？\"Isaid。Buthereadonwithoutreplying；and，whenI
pausedandsatdownonashelteredrusticseat，heunconsciouslyfollowedmyexample，lookingmorelikeasleep—walkerthanamaninthepossessionofallhisfaculties。Atlasthefinishedtheletter，andlookedupinadazed，miserableway，lettinghiseyeswanderoverthefir—treesandthefragrantshrubsandtheflowersbythepath。
\"Dearoldfellow，whatisthematter？\"Iasked。
Thewordsseemedtorousehim。
Adreadfullookpassedoverhisface——thelookofonestrickentotheheart。Buthisvoicewasperfectlycalm，andfullofaghastlyself—control。
\"Fredawillbemysister—in—law，\"hesaid，ratherasifstatingthefacttohimselfthanansweringmyquestion。
\"Impossible!\"Isaid。\"Whatdoyoumean？Howcould——\"
Asiftosilencemehethrusttheletterintomyhand。Itranasfollows：
\"DearDerrick，——ForthelastfewdaysIhavebeendownintheFlemings’placeinDerbyshire，andfortunehasfavouredme，fortheMerrifieldsareheretoo。Nowprepareyourselfforasurprise。
Breakthenewstothegovernor，andsendmeyourheartiestcongratulationsbyreturnofpost。IamengagedtoFredaMerrifield，andamthehappiestfellowintheworld。Theyareawfullyfastidioussortofpeople，andIdonotbelieveSirRichardwouldhaveconsentedtosuchamatchhaditnotbeenforthatluckyimpulsewhichmademerescueDickFleming。Ithasallbeenarrangedveryquickly，asthesethingsshouldbe，butwehaveseenagooddealofeachother——firstatAldershottheyearbeforelast，andjustlatelyintown，andnowthesefourdaysdownhere——anddaysinacountryhouseareequaltoweekselsewhere。Ienclosealettertomyfather——giveittohimatasuitablemoment——but，afterall，he’ssuretoapproveofadaughter—in—lawwithsuchadowryasMissMerrifieldislikelytohave。
\"Yoursaffly。，\"LawrenceVaughan。\"
Igavehimbacktheletterwithoutaword。Indeadsilencewemovedon，tookaturningwhichledtoalittlenarrowgate，andpassedoutofthegroundstothewildmoorlandcountrybeyond。
Afterall，Fredawasinnowaytoblame。AsameregirlshehadallowedDerricktoseethatshecaredforhim；thencircumstanceshadentirelyseparatedthem；shesawmoreoftheworld，metLawrence，wasperhapsfirstattractedtohimbyhisverylikenesstoDerrick，andfinallyfellinlovewiththeherooftheseason，whomeveryonedelightedtohonour。NorcouldoneblameLawrence，whohadnonotionthathehadsupplantedhisbrother。AlltheblamelaywiththeMajor’sslaverytodrink，forifonlyhehadremainedoutinIndiaIfeelsurethatmatterswouldhavegonequitedifferently。
WetrampedonoverheatherandlingandspringyturftillwereachedtheoldruinknownastheHuntingTower；thenDerrickseemedtoawaketotherecollectionofpresentthings。Helookedathiswatch。
\"Imustgobacktomyfather，\"hesaid，forthefirsttimebreakingthesilence。
\"Youshalldonosuchthing!\"Icried。\"StayouthereandIwillseetotheMajor，andgivehimthelettertooifyoulike。\"
Hecaughtatthesuggestion，andashethankedmeIthinkthereweretearsinhiseyes。SoItooktheletterandsetoffforBenRhydding，leavinghimtogetwhatreliefhecouldfromsolitude，space，andabsolutequiet。OnceIjustglancedback，andsomehowthescenehasalwayslingeredinmymemory——thegreatstretchofdesolatemoor，thedullcrimsonoftheheather，theloweringgreyclouds，theHuntingTowerapatchofdeepergloomagainstthegloomysky，andDerrick’sfigureprostrate，ontheturf，thefacehidden，thehandsgraspingatthesprigsofheathergrowingnear。
TheMajorwasjustreadytobehelpedintothegardenwhenIreachedthehotel。WesatdownintheverysameplacewhereDerrickhadreadthenews，and，whenIjudgeditpolitic，Isuddenlyrememberedwithapologiestheletterthathadbeenentrustedtome。Theoldmanreceiveditwithsatisfaction，forhewasfondofLawrenceandproudofhim，andthenewsoftheengagementpleasedhimgreatly。
Hewasstilldiscussingitwhen，twohourslater，Derrickreturned。
\"Here’sgoodnews!\"saidtheMajor，glancingupashissonapproached。\"TrustLawrencetofallonhisfeet!Hetellsmethegirlwillhaveathousandayear。Youknowher，don’tyou？What’sshelike？\"
\"Ihavemether，\"repliedDerrick，withforcedcomposure。\"Sheisverycharming。\"
\"Lawrencehasallhiswitsabouthim，\"growledtheMajor。\"Whereasyou——\"（severaloathsinterjected）。\"Itwillbealongwhilebeforeanygirlwithadowrywilllookatyou!Whatwomenlikeisaboldmanofaction；whattheydespise，meredabblersinpenandink，writersofpoisonoussensationaltalessuchasyours!I’mquotingyourownreviewers，soyouneedn’tcontradictme!\"
Ofcoursenoonehaddreamtofcontradicting；itwouldhavebeentheworstpossiblepolicy。
\"ShallIhelpyouin？\"saidDerrick。\"Itisjustdinnertime。\"
AndasIwalkedbesidethemtothehotel，listeningtotheMajor’sfloodofirritatingwords，andglancingnowandthenatDerrick’sgrave，resoluteface，whichsuccessfullymaskedsuchbittersuffering，Icouldn’thelpreflectingthatherewascourageinfinitelymoredeservingoftheVictoriaCrossthanLawrence’simpulsiverescue。Verypatientlyhesatthroughthelongdinner。I
doubtifanybutanacuteobservercouldhavetoldthathewasintrouble；and，luckily，theworldingeneralobserveshardlyatall。
HeenduredtheMajortillitwastimeforhimtotakeaTurkishbath，andthenhavingtwohours’freedom，climbedwithmeuptherock—coveredhillatthebackofthehotel。Hewasverysilent。
ButIrememberthat，aswewatchedthesungodown——aglowingcrimsonball，halfveiledingreymist——hesaidabruptly，\"IfLawrencemakesherhappyIcanbearit。AndofcourseIalwaysknewthatIwasnotworthyofher。\"
Derrick’sroomwasalarge，gaunt，ghostlyplaceinoneofthetowersofthehotel，andinonecornerofitwasawindingstairleadingtotheroof。WhenIwentinnextmorningIfoundhimwritingawayathisnoveljustasusual，butwhenIlookedathimitseemedtomethatthenighthadagedhimfearfully。Asarule，hetookinterruptionsasamatterofcourse，andwithperfectsweetnessoftemper；butto—dayheseemedunabletodraghimselfbacktotheouterworld。Hewaswritingatadesperatepacetoo，andfrownedwhenIspoketohim。Itookupthesheetoffoolscapwhichhehadjustfinishedandglancedatthenumberofthepage——evidentlyhehadwrittenanimmensequantitysincethepreviousday。
\"Youwillknockyourselfupifyougoonatthisrate!\"Iexclaimed。
\"Nonsense!\"hesaidsharply。\"Youknowitnevertiresme。\"
Yet，allthesame，hepassedhishandverywearilyoverhisforehead，andstretchedhimselfwiththeairofonewhohadbeeninacrampingpositionformanyhours。
\"Youhavebrokenyourvow!\"Icried。\"Youhavebeenwritingatnight。\"
\"No，\"hesaid；\"itwasmorningwhenIbegan——threeo’clock。Anditpaysbettertogetupandwritethantolieawakethinking。\"
Judgingbythespeedwithwhichthenovelgrewinthenextfewweeks，IcouldtellthatDerrick’snightswereoftheworst。
Hebegan，too，tolookverythinandhaggard，andImorethanoncenoticedthatcurious’sleep—walking’expressioninhiseyes；heseemedtomejustlikeamanwhohasreceivedhisdeath—blow，yetstilllingers——halfalive，halfdead。Ihadanoddfeelingthatitwashisnovelwhichkepthimgoing，andIbegantowonderwhatwouldhappenwhenitwasfinished。
Amonthlater，whenImethimagainatBath，hehadwrittenthelastchapterof’AtStrife，’andwereaditoverthesitting—roomfireonSaturdayevening。Iwasverymuchstruckwiththebook；itseemedtomeagreatadvanceon’Lynwood’sHeritage，’andthepartwhichhehadwrittensincethatdayatBenRhyddingwasfullofanindescribablepower，asifthelifeofwhichhehadbeenrobbedhadflowedintohiswork。Whenhehaddone，hetieduptheMS。inhisusualprosaicfashion，justasifithadbeenabundleofclothes，andputitonasidetable。
ItwasarrangedthatIshouldtakeittoDavison——thepublisherof’Lynwood’sHeritage’——onMonday，andseewhatofferhewouldmakeforit。JustatthattimeIfeltsosorryforDerrickthatifhehadaskedmetohawkroundfiftynovelsIwouldhavedoneit。
Sundaymorningprovedwetanddismal；asaruletheMajor，whowasfondofmusic，attendedserviceattheAbbey，buttheweatherforcedhimnowtostayathome。Imyselfwasatthattimenochurch—goer，butDerrickwould，Iverilybelieve，assoonhavefastedaweekashavegivenupaSundaymorningservice；andhavingnomindtobelefttotheMajor’scompany，andasortofwishtobenearmyfriend，Iwentwithhim。IbelieveitisnotcorrecttoadmireBathAbbey，butforallthat’thelanternofthewest’hasalwaysseemedtomeagrandplace；asforDerrick，hehadahorrorofa’dimreligiouslight，’andalwaysstuckupforhishugewindows，andI
believehelovedtheAbbeywithallhisheart。Indeed，takingitonlyfromasensuouspointofview，Icouldquiteimaginewhatareliefhefoundhisweeklyattendancehere；bycontrastwithhishometheplacewasHeavenitself。
Aswewalkedback，Iaskedaquestionthathadlongbeeninmymind：
\"HaveyouseenanythingofLawrence？\"
\"HesawusacrossLondononourwayfromBenRhydding，\"saidDerrick，steadily。\"Fredacamewithhim，andmyfatherwasdelightedwithher。\"
Iwonderedhowtheyhadgotthroughthemeeting，butofcoursemycuriosityhadtogounsatisfied。OfonethingImightbecertain，namely，thatDerrickhadgonethroughwithitlikeaTrojan，thathehadsmiledandcongratulatedinhisquietway，andhaddonethebesttoeffacehimselfandthinkonlyofFreda。Butaseveryoneknows：
\"Facejoy’sacostlymasktowear，’TisboughtwithpangslongnourishedAndroundedtodespair；\"
andhelookednowevenmorewornandoldthanhehaddoneatBenRhyddinginthefirstdaysofhistrouble。
