PETKOFF（fittingdownandtakingaroll）。GoinandsayI’vecome;andgetmesomefreshcoffee。
NICOLA。It’scoming，sir。（Hegoestothehousedoor。Louka，withfreshcoffee，acleancup，andabrandybottleonhertraymeetshim。）Haveyoutoldthemistress？
LOUKA。Yes：she’scoming。
（Nicolagoesintothehouse。Loukabringsthecoffeetothetable。）
PETKOFF。Well，theServianshaven’trunawaywithyou，havethey？
LOUKA。No，sir。
PETKOFF。That’sright。Haveyoubroughtmesomecognac？
LOUKA（puttingthebottleonthetable）。Here，sir。
PETKOFF。That’sright。（Hepourssomeintohiscoffee。）
（Catherinewhohasatthisearlyhourmadeonlyaveryperfunctorytoilet，andwearsaBulgarianapronoveraoncebrilliant，butnowhalfwornoutreddressinggown，andacoloredhandkerchieftiedoverherthickblackhair，withTurkishslippersonherbarefeet，comesfromthehouse，lookingastonishinglyhandsomeandstatelyunderallthecircumstances。Loukagoesintothehouse。）
CATHERINE。MydearPaul，whatasurpriseforus。（Shestoopsoverthebackofhischairtokisshim。）Havetheybroughtyoufreshcoffee？
PETKOFF。Yes，Louka’sbeenlookingafterme。Thewar’sover。ThetreatywassignedthreedaysagoatBucharest;andthedecreeforourarmytodemobilizewasissuedyesterday。
CATHERINE（springingerect，withflashingeyes）。Thewarover！
Paul：haveyoulettheAustriansforceyoutomakepeace？
PETKOFF（submissively）。Mydear：theydidn’tconsultme。Whatcould_I_do？（Shesitsdownandturnsawayfromhim。）Butofcoursewesawtoitthatthetreatywasanhonorableone。Itdeclarespeace——
CATHERINE（outraged）。Peace！
PETKOFF（appeasingher）。——butnotfriendlyrelations：rememberthat。Theywantedtoputthatin;butIinsistedonitsbeingstruckout。WhatmorecouldIdo？
CATHERINE。YoucouldhaveannexedServiaandmadePrinceAlexanderEmperoroftheBalkans。That’swhatIwouldhavedone。
PETKOFF。Idon’tdoubtitintheleast，mydear。ButIshouldhavehadtosubduethewholeAustrianEmpirefirst;andthatwouldhavekeptmetoolongawayfromyou。Imissedyougreatly。
CATHERINE（relenting）。Ah！（Stretchesherhandaffectionatelyacrossthetabletosqueezehis。）
PETKOFF。Andhowhaveyoubeen，mydear？
CATHERINE。Oh，myusualsorethroats，that’sall。
PETKOFF（withconviction）。Thatcomesfromwashingyourneckeveryday。I’veoftentoldyouso。
CATHERINE。Nonsense，Paul！
PETKOFF（overhiscoffeeandcigaret）。Idon’tbelieveingoingtoofarwiththesemoderncustoms。Allthiswashingcan’tbegoodforthehealth：it’snotnatural。TherewasanEnglishmanatPhillipopoliswhousedtowethimselfalloverwithcoldwatereverymorningwhenhegotup。Disgusting！ItallcomesfromtheEnglish：theirclimatemakesthemsodirtythattheyhavetobeperpetuallywashingthemselves。Lookatmyfather：heneverhadabathinhislife;andhelivedtobeninety-eight，thehealthiestmaninBulgaria。Idon’tmindagoodwashonceaweektokeepupmyposition;butonceadayiscarryingthethingtoaridiculousextreme。
CATHERINE。Youareabarbarianatheartstill，Paul。IhopeyoubehavedyourselfbeforeallthoseRussianofficers。
PETKOFF。Ididmybest。Itookcaretoletthemknowthatwehadalibrary。
CATHERINE。Ah;butyoudidn’ttellthemthatwehaveanelectricbellinit？Ihavehadoneputup。
PETKOFF。What’sanelectricbell？
CATHERINE。Youtouchabutton;somethingtinklesinthekitchen;
andthenNicolacomesup。
PETKOFF。Whynotshoutforhim？
CATHERINE。Civilizedpeoplenevershoutfortheirservants。I’velearntthatwhileyouwereaway。
PETKOFF。Well，I’lltellyousomethingI’velearnt，too。
Civilizedpeopledon’thangouttheirwashingtodrywherevisitorscanseeit;soyou’dbetterhaveallthat（indicatingtheclothesonthebushes）putsomewhereelse。
CATHERINE。Oh，that’sabsurd，Paul：Idon’tbelievereallyrefinedpeoplenoticesuchthings。
（Someoneisheardknockingatthestablegates。）
PETKOFF。There’sSergius。（Shouting。）Hollo，Nicola！
CATHERINE。Oh，don’tshout，Paul：itreallyisn’tnice。
PETKOFF。Bosh！（Heshoutslouderthanbefore。）Nicola！
NICOLA（appearingatthehousedoor）。Yes，sir。
PETKOFF。IfthatisMajorSaranoff，bringhimroundthisway。
（Hepronouncesthenamewiththestressonthesecondsyllable——Sarah-noff。）
NICOLA。Yes，sir。（Hegoesintothestableyard。）
PETKOFF。Youmusttalktohim，mydear，untilRainatakeshimoffourhands。Heboresmylifeoutaboutournotpromotinghim——overmyhead，mindyou。
CATHERINE。HecertainlyoughttobepromotedwhenhemarriesRaina。Besides，thecountryshouldinsistonhavingatleastonenativegeneral。
PETKOFF。Yes，sothathecouldthrowawaywholebrigadesinsteadofregiments。It’snouse，mydear：hehasnottheslightestchanceofpromotionuntilwearequitesurethatthepeacewillbealastingone。
NICOLA（atthegate，announcing）。MajorSergiusSaranoff！（Hegoesintothehouseandreturnspresentlywithathirdchair，whichbeplacesatthetable。Hethenwithdraws。）
（MajorSergiusSaranoff，theoriginaloftheportraitinRaina’sroom，isatall，romanticallyhandsomeman，withthephysicalhardihood，thehighspirit，andthesusceptibleimaginationofanuntamedmountaineerchieftain。Buthisremarkablepersonaldistinctionisofacharacteristicallycivilizedtype。Theridgesofhiseyebrows，curvingwitharam’s-horntwistroundthemarkedprojectionsattheoutercorners，hisjealouslyobservanteye，hisnose，thin，keen，andapprehensiveinspiteofthepugnacioushighbridgeandlargenostril，hisassertivechin，wouldnotbeoutofplaceinaParissalon。Inshort，theclever，imaginativebarbarianhasanacutecriticalfacultywhichhasbeenthrownintointenseactivitybythearrivalofwesterncivilizationintheBalkans;andtheresultispreciselywhattheadventofnineteenth-centurythoughtfirstproducedinEngland：to-wit，Byronism。Byhisbroodingontheperpetualfailure，notonlyofothers，butofhimself，toliveuptohisimaginativeideals，hisconsequentcynicalscornforhumanity，thejejunecredulityastotheabsolutevalidityofhisidealsandtheunworthinessoftheworldindisregardingthem，hiswincingsandmockeriesunderthestingofthepettydisillusionswhicheveryhourspentamongmenbringstohisinfalliblyquickobservation，hehasacquiredthehalftragic，halfironicair，themysteriousmoodiness，thesuggestionofastrangeandterriblehistorythathaslefthimnothingbutundyingremorse，bywhichChildeHaroldfascinatedthegrandmothersofhisEnglishcontemporaries。
AltogetheritisclearthathereornowhereisRaina’sidealhero。Catherineishardlylessenthusiastic，andmuchlessreservedinshewingherenthusiasm。Asheentersfromthestablegate，sheriseseffusivelytogreethim。Petkoffisdistinctlylessdisposedtomakeafussabouthim。）
PETKOFF。Herealready，Sergius。Gladtoseeyou！
CATHERINE。MydearSergius！（Sheholdsoutbothherhands。）
SERGIUS（kissingthemwithscrupulousgallantry）。Mydearmother，ifImaycallyouso。
PETKOFF（drily）。Mother-in-law，Sergius;mother-in-law！Sitdown，andhavesomecoffee。
SERGIUS。Thankyou，noneforme。（HegetsawayfromthetablewithacertaindistasteforPetkoff’senjoymentofit，andpostshimselfwithconsciousgraceagainsttherailofthestepsleadingtothehouse。）
CATHERINE。Youlooksuperb——splendid。Thecampaignhasimprovedyou。Everybodyhereismadaboutyou。Wewereallwildwithenthusiasmaboutthatmagnificentcavalrycharge。
SERGIUS（withgraveirony）。Madam：itwasthecradleandthegraveofmymilitaryreputation。
CATHERINE。Howso？
SERGIUS。IwonthebattlethewrongwaywhenourworthyRussiangeneralswerelosingittherightway。Thatupsettheirplans，andwoundedtheirself-esteem。Twooftheircolonelsgottheirregimentsdrivenbackonthecorrectprinciplesofscientificwarfare。Twomajor-generalsgotkilledstrictlyaccordingtomilitaryetiquette。Thosetwocolonelsarenowmajor-generals;
andIamstillasimplemajor。
CATHERINE。Youshallnotremainso，Sergius。Thewomenareonyourside;andtheywillseethatjusticeisdoneyou。
SERGIUS。Itistoolate。Ihaveonlywaitedforthepeacetosendinmyresignation。
PETKOFF（droppinghiscupinhisamazement）。Yourresignation！
CATHERINE。Oh，youmustwithdrawit！
SERGIUS（withresolute，measuredemphasis，foldinghisarms）。I
neverwithdraw！
PETKOFF（vexed）。Nowwhocouldhavesupposedyouweregoingtodosuchathing？
SERGIUS（withfire）。Everyonethatknewme。Butenoughofmyselfandmyaffairs。HowisRaina;andwhereisRaina？
RAINA（suddenlycomingroundthecornerofthehouseandstandingatthetopofthestepsinthepath）。Rainaishere。
（Shemakesacharmingpictureastheyallturntolookather。
Shewearsanunderdressofpalegreensilk，drapedwithanoverdressofthinecrucanvasembroideredwithgold。OnherheadshewearsaprettyPhrygiancapofgoldtinsel。Sergius，withanexclamationofpleasure，goesimpulsivelytomeether。Shestretchesoutherhand：hedropschivalrouslyononekneeandkissesit。）
PETKOFF（asidetoCatherine，beamingwithparentalpride）。
Pretty，isn’tit？Shealwaysappearsattherightmoment。
CATHERINE（impatiently）。Yes：shelistensforit。Itisanabominablehabit。
（SergiusleadsRainaforwardwithsplendidgallantry，asifshewereaqueen。Whentheycometothetable，sheturnstohimwithabendofthehead;
hebows;andthustheyseparate，hecomingtohisplace，andshegoingbehindherfather’schair。）
RAINA（stoopingandkissingherfather）。Dearfather！Welcomehome！
PETKOFF（pattinghercheek）。Mylittlepetgirl。（Hekissesher;shegoestothechairleftbyNicolaforSergius，andsitsdown。）
CATHERINE。Andsoyou’renolongerasoldier，Sergius。
SERGIUS。Iamnolongerasoldier。Soldiering，mydearmadam，isthecoward’sartofattackingmercilesslywhenyouarestrong，andkeepingoutofharm’swaywhenyouareweak。Thatisthewholesecretofsuccessfulfighting。Getyourenemyatadisadvantage;andnever，onanyaccount，fighthimonequalterms。Eh，Major！
PETKOFF。Theywouldn’tletusmakeafairstand-upfightofit。
However，Isupposesoldieringhastobeatradelikeanyothertrade。
SERGIUS。Precisely。ButIhavenoambitiontosucceedasatradesman;soIhavetakentheadviceofthatbagmanofacaptainthatsettledtheexchangeofprisonerswithusatPeerot，andgivenitup。
PETKOFF。What，thatSwissfellow？Sergius：I’veoftenthoughtofthatexchangesince。Heover-reachedusaboutthosehorses。
SERGIUS。Ofcourseheover-reachedus。Hisfatherwasahotelandliverystablekeeper;andheowedhisfirststeptohisknowledgeofhorse-dealing。（Withmockenthusiasm。）Ah，hewasasoldier——everyinchasoldier！IfonlyIhadboughtthehorsesformyregimentinsteadoffoolishlyleadingitintodanger，I
shouldhavebeenafield-marshalnow！
CATHERINE。ASwiss？WhatwashedoingintheServianarmy？
PETKOFF。Avolunteerofcourse——keenonpickinguphisprofession。（Chuckling。）Weshouldn’thavebeenabletobeginfightingiftheseforeignershadn’tshewnushowtodoit：weknewnothingaboutit;andneitherdidtheServians。Egad，there’dhavebeennowarwithoutthem。
RAINA。AretheremanySwissofficersintheServianArmy？
PETKOFF。No——allAustrians，justasourofficerswereallRussians。ThiswastheonlySwissIcameacross。I’llnevertrustaSwissagain。Hecheatedus——humbuggedusintogivinghimfiftyablebodiedmenfortwohundredconfoundedwornoutchargers。Theyweren’teveneatable！
SERGIUS。Weweretwochildreninthehandsofthatconsummatesoldier，Major：simplytwoinnocentlittlechildren。
RAINA。Whatwashelike？
CATHERINE。Oh，Raina，whatasillyquestion！
SERGIUS。Hewaslikeacommercialtravellerinuniform。
Bourgeoistohisboots。
PETKOFF（grinning）。Sergius：tellCatherinethatqueerstoryhisfriendtoldusabouthim——howheescapedafterSlivnitza。
Youremember？——abouthisbeinghidbytwowomen。
SERGIUS（withbitterirony）。Oh，yes，quitearomance。HewasservingintheverybatteryIsounprofessionallycharged。Beingathoroughsoldier，heranawayliketherestofthem，withourcavalryathisheels。Toescapetheirattentions，hehadthegoodtastetotakerefugeinthechamberofsomepatrioticyoungBulgarianlady。Theyoungladywasenchantedbyhispersuasivecommercialtraveller’smanners。Sheverymodestlyentertainedhimforanhourorsoandthencalledinhermotherlestherconductshouldappearunmaidenly。Theoldladywasequallyfascinated;andthefugitivewassentonhiswayinthemorning，disguisedinanoldcoatbelongingtothemasterofthehouse，whowasawayatthewar。
RAINA（risingwithmarkedstateliness）。Yourlifeinthecamphasmadeyoucoarse，Sergius。Ididnotthinkyouwouldhaverepeatedsuchastorybeforeme。（Sheturnsawaycoldly。）
CATHERINE（alsorising）。Sheisright，Sergius。Ifsuchwomenexist，weshouldbesparedtheknowledgeofthem。
PETKOFF。Pooh！nonsense！whatdoesitmatter？
SERGIUS（ashamed）。No，Petkoff：Iwaswrong。（ToRaina，withearnesthumility。）Ibegyourpardon。Ihavebehavedabominably。
Forgiveme，Raina。（Shebowsreservedly。）Andyou，too，madam。
（Catherinebowsgraciouslyandsitsdown。Heproceedssolemnly，againaddressingRaina。）TheglimpsesIhavehadoftheseamysideoflifeduringthelastfewmonthshavemademecynical;
butIshouldnothavebroughtmycynicismhere——leastofallintoyourpresence，Raina。I——（Here，turningtotheothers，heisevidentlyabouttobeginalongspeechwhentheMajorinterruptshim。）
PETKOFF。Stuffandnonsense，Sergius。That’squiteenoughfussaboutnothing：asoldier’sdaughtershouldbeabletostandupwithoutflinchingtoalittlestrongconversation。（Herises。）
Come：it’stimeforustogettobusiness。WehavetomakeupourmindshowthosethreeregimentsaretogetbacktoPhillipopolis：——there’snoforageforthemontheSophiaroute。
（Hegoestowardsthehouse。）Comealong。（SergiusisabouttofollowhimwhenCatherinerisesandintervenes。）
CATHERINE。Oh，Paul，can’tyouspareSergiusforafewmoments？
Rainahashardlyseenhimyet。PerhapsIcanhelpyoutosettleabouttheregiments。
SERGIUS（protesting）。Mydearmadam，impossible：you——
CATHERINE（stoppinghimplayfully）。Youstayhere，mydearSergius：there’snohurry。IhaveawordortwotosaytoPaul。
（Sergiusinstantlybowsandstepsback。）Now，dear（takingPetkoff’sarm），comeandseetheelectricbell。
PETKOFF。Oh，verywell，verywell。（Theygointothehousetogetheraffectionately。Sergius，leftalonewithRaina，looksanxiouslyather，fearingthatshemaybestilloffended。Shesmiles，andstretchesoutherarmstohim。）
（ExitR。intohouse，followedbyCatherine。）
SERGIUS（hasteningtoher，butrefrainingfromtouchingherwithoutexpresspermission）。AmIforgiven？
RAINA（placingherhandsonhisshoulderasshelooksupathimwithadmirationandworship）。Myhero！Myking。
SERGIUS。Myqueen！（Hekissesherontheforeheadwithholyawe。）
RAINA。HowIhaveenviedyou，Sergius！Youhavebeenoutintheworld，onthefieldofbattle，abletoproveyourselfthereworthyofanywomanintheworld;whilstIhavehadtositathomeinactive，——dreaming——useless——doingnothingthatcouldgivemetherighttocallmyselfworthyofanyman。
SERGIUS。Dearest，allmydeedshavebeenyours。Youinspiredme。
Ihavegonethroughthewarlikeaknightinatournamentwithhisladylookingonathim！
RAINA。Andyouhaveneverbeenabsentfrommythoughtsforamoment。（Verysolemnly。）Sergius：Ithinkwetwohavefoundthehigherlove。WhenIthinkofyou，IfeelthatIcouldneverdoabasedeed，orthinkanignoblethought。
SERGIUS。Mylady，andmysaint！（Claspingherreverently。）
RAINA（returninghisembrace）。Mylordandmyg——
SERGIUS。Sh——sh！Letmebetheworshipper，dear。Youlittleknowhowunworthyeventhebestmanisofagirl’spurepassion！
RAINA。Itrustyou。Iloveyou。Youwillneverdisappointme，Sergius。（Loukaisheardsingingwithinthehouse。Theyquicklyreleaseeachother。）Hush！Ican’tpretendtotalkindifferentlybeforeher：myheartistoofull。（Loukacomesfromthehousewithhertray。Shegoestothetable，andbeginstoclearit，withherbackturnedtothem。）Iwillgoandgetmyhat;andthenwecangooutuntillunchtime。Wouldn’tyoulikethat？
SERGIUS。Bequick。Ifyouareawayfiveminutes，itwillseemfivehours。（Rainarunstothetopofthestepsandturnstheretoexchangealookwithhimandwavehimakisswithbothhands。
Helooksafterherwithemotionforamoment，thenturnsslowlyaway，hisfaceradiantwiththeexultationofthescenewhichhasjustpassed。Themovementshiftshisfieldofvision，intothecornerofwhichtherenowcomesthetailofLouka’sdoubleapron。Hiseyegleamsatonce。Hetakesastealthylookather，andbeginstotwirlhismoustachenervously，withhislefthandakimboonhiship。Finally，strikingthegroundwithhisheelsinsomethingofacavalryswagger，hestrollsovertotheleftofthetable，oppositeher，andsays）Louka：doyouknowwhatthehigherloveis？
LOUKA（astonished）。No，sir。
SERGIUS。Veryfatiguingthingtokeepupforanylengthoftime，Louka。Onefeelstheneedofsomereliefafterit。
LOUKA（innocently）。Perhapsyouwouldlikesomecoffee，sir？
（Shestretchesherhandacrossthetableforthecoffeepot。）
SERGIUS（takingherhand）。Thankyou，Louka。
LOUKA（pretendingtopull）。Oh，sir，youknowIdidn’tmeanthat。I’msurprisedatyou！
SERGIUS（comingclearofthetableanddrawingherwithhim）。I
amsurprisedatmyself，Louka。WhatwouldSergius，theheroofSlivnitza，sayifhesawmenow？WhatwouldSergius，theapostleofthehigherlove，sayifhesawmenow？WhatwouldthehalfdozenSergiuseswhokeeppoppinginandoutofthishandsomefigureofminesayiftheycaughtushere？（Lettinggoherhandandslippinghisarmdexterouslyroundherwaist。）Doyouconsidermyfigurehandsome，Louka？
LOUKA。Letmego，sir。Ishallbedisgraced。（Shestruggles：heholdsherinexorably。）Oh，willyouletgo？
SERGIUS（lookingstraightintohereyes）。No。
LOUKA。Thenstandbackwherewecan’tbeseen。Haveyounocommonsense？
SERGIUS。Ah，that’sreasonable。（Hetakesherintothestableyardgateway，wheretheyarehiddenfromthehouse。）
LOUKA（complaining）。Imayhavebeenseenfromthewindows：
MissRainaissuretobespyingaboutafteryou。
SERGIUS（stung——lettinghergo）。Takecare，Louka。Imaybeworthlessenoughtobetraythehigherlove;butdonotyouinsultit。
LOUKA（demurely）。Notfortheworld，sir，I’msure。MayIgoonwithmyworkplease，now？
SERGIUS（againputtinghisarmroundher）。Youareaprovokinglittlewitch，Louka。Ifyouwereinlovewithme，wouldyouspyoutofwindowsonme？
LOUKA。Well，yousee，sir，sinceyousayyouarehalfadozendifferentgentlemenallatonce，Ishouldhaveagreatdealtolookafter。
SERGIUS（charmed）。Wittyaswellaspretty。（Hetriestokissher。）
LOUKA（avoidinghim）。No，Idon’twantyourkisses。Gentlefolkareallalike——youmakinglovetomebehindMissRaina’sback，andshedoingthesamebehindyours。
SERGIUS（recoilingastep）。Louka！
LOUKA。Itshewshowlittleyoureallycare！
SERGIUS（droppinghisfamiliarityandspeakingwithfreezingpoliteness）。Ifourconversationistocontinue，Louka，youwillpleaserememberthatagentlemandoesnotdiscusstheconductoftheladyheisengagedtowithhermaid。
LOUKA。It’ssohardtoknowwhatagentlemanconsidersright。I
thoughtfromyourtryingtokissmethatyouhadgivenupbeingsoparticular。
SERGIUS（turningfromherandstrikinghisforeheadasbecomesbackintothegardenfromthegateway）。Devil！devil！
LOUKA。Ha！ha！Iexpectoneofthesixofyouisverylikeme，sir，thoughIamonlyMissRaina’smaid。（Shegoesbacktoherworkatthetable，takingnofurthernoticeofhim。）
SERGIUS（speakingtohimself）。Whichofthesixistherealman？——that’sthequestionthattormentsme。Oneofthemisahero，anotherabuffoon，anotherahumbug，anotherperhapsabitofablackguard。（HepausesandlooksfurtivelyatLouka，asheaddswithdeepbitterness）Andone，atleast，isacoward——jealous，likeallcowards。（Hegoestothetable。）
Louka。
LOUKA。Yes？
SERGIUS。Whoismyrival？
LOUKA。Youshallnevergetthatoutofme，forloveormoney。
SERGIUS。Why？
LOUKA。Nevermindwhy。Besides，youwouldtellthatItoldyou;
andIshouldlosemyplace。
SERGIUS（holdingouthisrighthandinaffirmation）。No;onthehonorofa——（Hecheckshimself，andhishanddropsnervelessasheconcludes，sardonically）——ofamancapableofbehavingasI
havebeenbehavingforthelastfiveminutes。Whoishe？
LOUKA。Idon’tknow。Ineversawhim。Ionlyheardhisvoicethroughthedoorofherroom。
SERGIUS。Damnation！Howdareyou？
LOUKA（retreating）。Oh，Imeannoharm：you’venorighttotakeupmywordslikethat。Themistressknowsallaboutit。AndI
tellyouthatifthatgentlemanevercomeshereagain，MissRainawillmarryhim，whetherhelikesitornot。Iknowthedifferencebetweenthesortofmanneryouandsheputonbeforeoneanotherandtherealmanner。（Sergiusshiversasifshehadstabbedhim。Then，settinghisfacelikeiron，hestridesgrimlytoher，andgripsherabovetheelbowswithbothbands。）
SERGIUS。Nowlistenyoutome！
LOUKA（wincing）。Notsotight：you’rehurtingme！
SERGIUS。Thatdoesn’tmatter。Youhavestainedmyhonorbymakingmeapartytoyoureavesdropping。Andyouhavebetrayedyourmistress——
LOUKA（writhing）。Please——
SERGIUS。Thatshewsthatyouareanabominablelittleclodofcommonclay，withthesoulofaservant。（Heletshergoasifshewereanuncleanthing，andturnsaway，dustinghishandsofher，tothebenchbythewall，wherehesitsdownwithavertedhead，meditatinggloomily。）
LOUKA（whimperingangrilywithherhandsuphersleeves，feelingherbruisedarms）。Youknowhowtohurtwithyourtongueaswellaswithyourhands。ButIdon’tcare，nowI’vefoundoutthatwhateverclayI’mmadeof，you’remadeofthesame。Asforher，she’saliar;andherfineairsareacheat;andI’mworthsixofher。（Sheshakesthepainoffhardily;tossesherhead;
andsetstoworktoputthethingsonthetray。Helooksdoubtfullyatheronceortwice。Shefinishespackingthetray，andlapstheclothovertheedges，soastocarryallouttogether。Asshestoopstoliftit，herises。）
SERGIUS。Louka！（Shestopsandlooksdefiantlyathimwiththetrayinherhands。）Agentlemanhasnorighttohurtawomanunderanycircumstances。（Withprofoundhumility，uncoveringhisbead。）Ibegyourpardon。
LOUKA。Thatsortofapologymaysatisfyalady。Ofwhatuseisittoaservant？
SERGIUS（thusrudelycrossedinhischivalry，throwsitoffwithabitterlaughandsaysslightingly）。Oh，youwishtobepaidforthehurt？（Heputsonhisshako，andtakessomemoneyfromhispocket。）
LOUKA（hereyesfillingwithtearsinspiteofherself）。No，I
wantmyhurtmadewell。
SERGIUS（soberedbyhertone）。How？
（Sherollsupherleftsleeve;claspsherarmwiththethumbandfingersofherrighthand;andlooksdownatthebruise。Thensheraisesherheadandlooksstraightathim。Finally，withasuperbgestureshepresentsherarmtobekissed。Amazed，helooksather;atthearm;atheragain;
hesitates;andthen，withshudderingintensity，exclaims）
SERGIUS。Never！（andgetsawayasfaraspossiblefromher。）
（Herarmdrops。Withoutaword，andwithunaffecteddignity，shetakeshertray，andisapproachingthehousewhenRainareturnswearingahatandjacketintheheightoftheViennafashionofthepreviousyear，1885。Loukamakeswayproudlyforher，andthengoesintothehouse。）
RAINA。I’mready！What’sthematter？（Gaily。）HaveyoubeenflirtingwithLouka？
SERGIUS（hastily）。No，no。Howcanyouthinksuchathing？
RAINA（ashamedofherself）。Forgiveme，dear：itwasonlyajest。Iamsohappyto-day。
（Hegoesquicklytoher，andkissesherhandremorsefully。Catherinecomesoutandcallstothemfromthetopofthesteps。）
CATHERINE（comingdowntothem）。Iamsorrytodisturbyou，children;butPaulisdistractedoverthosethreeregiments。HedoesnotknowhowtogetthemtoPhillipopolis;andheobjectstoeverysuggestionofmine。Youmustgoandhelphim，Sergius。
Heisinthelibrary。
RAINA（disappointed）。Butwearejustgoingoutforawalk。
SERGIUS。Ishallnotbelong。Waitformejustfiveminutes。（Herunsupthestepstothedoor。）
RAINA（followinghimtothefootofthestepsandlookingupathimwithtimidcoquetry）。Ishallgoroundandwaitinfullviewofthelibrarywindows。Besureyoudrawfather’sattentiontome。Ifyouareamomentlongerthanfiveminutes，Ishallgoinandfetchyou，regimentsornoregiments。
SERGIUS（laughing）。Verywell。（Hegoesin。Rainawatcheshimuntilheisoutofherright。Then，withaperceptiblerelaxationofmanner，shebeginstopaceupanddownaboutthegardeninabrownstudy。）
CATHERINE。ImaginetheirmeetingthatSwissandhearingthewholestory！Theveryfirstthingyourfatheraskedforwastheoldcoatwesenthimoffin。Anicemessyouhavegotusinto！
RAINA（gazingthoughtfullyatthegravelasshewalks）。Thelittlebeast！
CATHERINE。Littlebeast！Whatlittlebeast？
RAINA。Togoandtell！Oh，ifIhadhimhere，I’dstuffhimwithchocolatecreamstillhecouldn’teverspeakagain！
CATHERINE。Don’ttalknonsense。Tellmethetruth，Raina。Howlongwasheinyourroombeforeyoucametome？
RAINA（whiskingroundandrecommencinghermarchintheoppositedirection）。Oh，Iforget。
CATHERINE。Youcannotforget！Didhereallyclimbupafterthesoldiersweregone，orwashetherewhenthatofficersearchedtheroom？
RAINA。No。Yes，Ithinkhemusthavebeentherethen。
CATHERINE。Youthink！Oh，Raina，Raina！Willanythingevermakeyoustraightforward？IfSergiusfindsout，itisalloverbetweenyou。
RAINA（withcoolimpertinence）。Oh，IknowSergiusisyourpet。
Isometimeswishyoucouldmarryhiminsteadofme。Youwouldjustsuithim。Youwouldpethim，andspoilhim，andmotherhimtoperfection。
CATHERINE（openinghereyesverywidelyindeed）。Well，uponmyword！
RAINA（capriciously——halftoherself）。Ialwaysfeelalongingtodoorsaysomethingdreadfultohim——toshockhispropriety——toscandalizethefivesensesoutofhim！（ToCatherineperversely。）Idon’tcarewhetherhefindsoutaboutthechocolatecreamsoldierornot。Ihalfhopehemay。（Sheagainturnsflippantlyawayandstrollsupthepathtothecornerofthehouse。）
CATHERINE。AndwhatshouldIbeabletosaytoyourfather，pray？
RAINA（overhershoulder，fromthetopofthetwosteps）。Oh，poorfather！Asifhecouldhelphimself！（Sheturnsthecornerandpassesoutofsight。）
CATHERINE（lookingafterher，herfingersitching）。Oh，ifyouwereonlytenyearsyounger！（Loukacomesfromthehousewithasalver，whichshecarrieshangingdownbyherside。）Well？
LOUKA。There’sagentlemanjustcalled，madam——aServianofficer——
CATHERINE（flaming）。AServian！Howdarehe——（Checkingherselfbitterly。）Oh，Iforgot。Weareatpeacenow。Isupposeweshallhavethemcallingeverydaytopaytheircompliments。Well，ifheisanofficerwhydon’tyoutellyourmaster？HeisinthelibrarywithMajorSaranoff。Whydoyoucometome？
LOUKA。Butheasksforyou，madam。AndIdon’tthinkheknowswhoyouare：hesaidtheladyofthehouse。Hegavemethislittleticketforyou。（Shetakesacardoutofherbosom;putsitonthesalverandoffersittoCatherine。）
CATHERINE（reading）。\"CaptainBluntschli！\"That’saGermanname。
LOUKA。Swiss，madam，Ithink。
CATHERINE（withaboundthatmakesLoukajumpback）。Swiss！
Whatishelike？
LOUKA（timidly）。Hehasabigcarpetbag，madam。
CATHERINE。Oh，Heavens，he’scometoreturnthecoat！Sendhimaway——saywe’renotathome——askhimtoleavehisaddressandI’llwritetohim——Oh，stop：thatwillneverdo。Wait！（Shethrowsherselfintoachairtothinkitout。Loukawaits。）ThemasterandMajorSaranoffarebusyinthelibrary，aren’tthey？
LOUKA。Yes，madam。
CATHERINE（decisively）。Bringthegentlemanouthereatonce。
（Imperatively。）Andbeverypolitetohim。Don’tdelay。Here（impatientlysnatchingthesalverfromher）：leavethathere;
andgostraightbacktohim。
LOUKA。Yes，madam。（Going。）
CATHERINE。Louka！
LOUKA（stopping）。Yes，madam。
CATHERINE。Isthelibrarydoorshut？
LOUKA。Ithinkso，madam。
CATHERINE。Ifnot，shutitasyoupassthrough。
LOUKA。Yes，madam。（Going。）
CATHERINE。Stop！（Loukastops。）Hewillhavetogooutthatway（indicatingthegateofthestableyard）。TellNicolatobringhisbaghereafterhim。Don’tforget。
LOUKA（surprised）。Hisbag？
CATHERINE。Yes，here，assoonaspossible。（Vehemently。）Bequick！（Loukarunsintothehouse。Catherinesnatchesherapronoffandthrowsitbehindabush。Shethentakesupthesalverandusesitasamirror，withtheresultthatthehandkerchieftiedroundherheadfollowstheapron。Atouchtoherhairandashaketoherdressinggownmakesherpresentable。）Oh，how——how——howcanamanbesuchafool！Suchamomenttoselect！
（Loukaappearsatthedoorofthehouse，announcing\"CaptainBluntschli;\"andstandingasideatthetopofthestepstolethimpassbeforeshegoesinagain。HeisthemanoftheadventureinRaina’sroom。Heisnowclean，wellbrushed，smartlyuniformed，andoutoftrouble，butstillunmistakablythesameman。ThemomentLouka’sbackisturned，Catherineswoopsonhimwithhurried，urgent，coaxingappeal。）CaptainBluntschli，Iamverygladtoseeyou;butyoumustleavethishouseatonce。（Heraiseshiseyebrows。）Myhusbandhasjustreturned，withmyfutureson-in-law;andtheyknownothing。Iftheydid，theconsequenceswouldbeterrible。Youareaforeigner：youdonotfeelournationalanimositiesaswedo。WestillhatetheServians：theonlyeffectofthepeaceonmyhusbandistomakehimfeellikealionbaulkedofhisprey。Ifhediscoveredoursecret，hewouldneverforgiveme;andmydaughter’slifewouldhardlybesafe。Willyou，likethechivalrousgentlemanandsoldieryouare，leaveatoncebeforehefindsyouhere？
BLUNTSCHLI（disappointed，butphilosophical）。Atonce，graciouslady。Ionlycametothankyouandreturnthecoatyoulentme。
IfyouwillallowmetotakeitoutofmybagandleaveitwithyourservantasIpassout，Ineeddetainyounofurther。（Heturnstogointothehouse。）
CATHERINE（catchinghimbythesleeve）。Oh，youmustnotthinkofgoingbackthatway。（Coaxinghimacrosstothestablegates。）Thisistheshortestwayout。Manythanks。Sogladtohavebeenofservicetoyou。Good-bye。
BLUNTSCHLI。Butmybag？
CATHERINE。Itwillbesenton。Youwillleavemeyouraddress。
BLUNTSCHLI。True。Allowme。（Hetakesouthiscard-case，andstopstowritehisaddress，keepingCatherineinanagonyofimpatience。Ashehandsherthecard，Petkoff，hatless，rushesfromthehouseinaflusterofhospitality，followedbySergius。）
PETKOFF（ashehurriesdownthesteps）。MydearCaptainBluntschli——
CATHERINE。OhHeavens！（Shesinksontheseatagainstthewall。）
PETKOFF（toopreoccupiedtonoticeherasheshakesBluntschli’shandheartily）。ThosestupidpeopleofminethoughtIwasouthere，insteadofinthe——haw！——library。（Hecannotmentionthelibrarywithoutbetrayinghowproudheisofit。）I
sawyouthroughthewindow。Iwaswonderingwhyyoudidn’tcomein。Saranoffiswithme：yourememberhim，don’tyou？
SERGIUS（salutinghumorously，andthenofferinghishandwithgreatcharmofmanner）。Welcome，ourfriendtheenemy！
PETKOFF。Nolongertheenemy，happily。（Ratheranxiously。）I
hopeyou’vecomeasafriend，andnotonbusiness。
CATHERINE。Oh，quiteasafriend，Paul。IwasjustaskingCaptainBluntschlitostaytolunch;buthedeclareshemustgoatonce。
SERCIUS（sardonically）。Impossible，Bluntschli。Wewantyouherebadly。WehavetosendonthreecavalryregimentstoPhillipopolis;andwedon’tintheleastknowhowtodoit。
BLUNTSCHLI（suddenlyattentiveandbusiness-like）。
Phillipopolis！Theforageisthetrouble，eh？
PETKOFF（eagerly）。Yes，that’sit。（ToSergius。）Heseesthewholethingatonce。
BLUNTSCHLI。IthinkIcanshewyouhowtomanagethat。
SERGIUS。Invaluableman！Comealong！（ToweringoverBluntschli，heputshishandonhisshoulderandtakeshimtothesteps，Petkofffollowing。AsBluntschliputshisfootonthefirststep，Rainacomesoutofthehouse。）
RAINA（completelylosingherpresenceofmind）。Oh，thechocolatecreamsoldier！
（Bluntschlistandsrigid。Sergius，amazed，looksatRaina，thenatPetkoff，wholooksbackathimandthenathiswife。）
CATHERINE（withcommandingpresenceofmind）。MydearRaina，don’tyouseethatwehaveaguesthere——CaptainBluntschli，oneofournewServianfriends？
（Rainabows;Bluntschlibows。）
RAINA。Howsillyofme！（Shecomesdownintothecentreofthegroup，betweenBluntschliandPetkoff）Imadeabeautifulornamentthismorningfortheicepudding;andthatstupidNicolahasjustputdownapileofplatesonitandspoiledit。
（ToBluntschli，winningly。）Ihopeyoudidn’tthinkthatyouwerethechocolatecreamsoldier，CaptainBluntschli。
BLUNTSCHLI（laughing）。IassureyouIdid。（Stealingawhimsicalglanceather。）Yourexplanationwasarelief。
PETKOFF（suspiciously，toRaina）。Andsincewhen，pray，haveyoutakentocooking？
CATHERINE。Oh，whilstyouwereaway。Itisherlatestfancy。
PETKOFF（testily）。AndhasNicolatakentodrinking？Heusedtobecarefulenough。FirstheshewsCaptainBluntschlioutherewhenheknewquitewellIwasinthe——hum！——library;andthenhegoesdownstairsandbreaksRaina’schocolatesoldier。Hemust——（AtthismomentNicolaappearsatthetopofthestepsR。，withacarpetbag。Hedescends;placesitrespectfullybeforeBluntschli;andwaitsforfurtherorders。Generalamazement。
Nicola，unconsciousoftheeffectheisproducing，looksperfectlysatisfiedwithhimself。WhenPetkoffrecovershispowerofspeech，hebreaksoutathimwith）Areyoumad，Nicola？
NICOLA（takenaback）。Sir？
PETKOFF。Whathaveyoubroughtthatfor？
NICOLA。Mylady’sorders，sir。Loukatoldmethat——
CATHERINE（interruptinghim）。Myorders！WhyshouldIorderyoutobringCaptainBluntschli’sluggageouthere？Whatareyouthinkingof，Nicola？
NICOLA（afteramoment’sbewilderment，pickingupthebagasheaddressesBluntschliwiththeveryperfectionofservilediscretion）。Ibegyourpardon，sir，Iamsure。（ToCatherine。）
Myfault，madam！Ihopeyou’lloverlookit！（Hebows，andisgoingtothestepswiththebag，whenPetkoffaddresseshimangrily。）
PETKOFF。You’dbettergoandslamthatbag，too，downonMissRaina’sicepudding！（ThisistoomuchforNicola。ThebagdropsfromhishandsonPetkoff’scorns，elicitingaroarofanguishfromhim。）Begone，youbutter-fingereddonkey。
NICOLA（snatchingupthebag，andescapingintothehouse）。
Yes，sir。
CATHERINE。Oh，nevermind，Paul，don’tbeangry！
PETKOFF（muttering）。Scoundrel。He’sgotoutofhandwhileI
wasaway。I’llteachhim。（Recollectinghisguest。）Oh，well，nevermind。Come，Bluntschli，letshavenomorenonsenseaboutyouhavingtogoaway。Youknowverywellyou’renotgoingbacktoSwitzerlandyet。Untilyoudogobackyou’llstaywithus。
RAINA。Oh，do，CaptainBluntschli。
PETKOFF（toCatherine）。Now，Catherine，it’sofyouthathe’safraid。Presshimandhe’llstay。
CATHERINE。OfcourseIshallbeonlytoodelightedif（appealingly）CaptainBluntschlireallywishestostay。Heknowsmywishes。
BLUNTSCHLI（inhisdriestmilitarymanner）。Iamatmadame’sorders。
SERGIUS（cordially）。Thatsettlesit！
PETKOFF（heartily）。Ofcourse！
RAINA。Yousee，youmuststay！
BLUNTSCHLI（smiling）。Well，IfImust，Imust！
（GestureofdespairfromCatherine。）
ACTIII
Inthelibraryafterlunch。Itisnotmuchofalibrary，itsliteraryequipmentconsistingofasinglefixedshelfstockedwitholdpaper-coverednovels，brokenbacked，coffeestained，tornandthumbed，andacoupleoflittlehangingshelveswithafewgiftbooksonthem，therestofthewallspacebeingoccupiedbytrophiesofwarandthechase。Butitisamostcomfortablesitting-room。Arowofthreelargewindowsinthefrontofthehouseshewamountainpanorama，whichisjustnowseeninoneofitssoftestaspectsinthemellowingafternoonlight。Inthelefthandcorner，asquareearthenwarestove，aperfecttowerofcoloredpottery，risesnearlytotheceilingandguaranteesplentyofwarmth。Theottomaninthemiddleisacircularbankofdecoratedcushions，andthewindowseatsarewellupholstereddivans。LittleTurkishtables，oneofthemwithanelaboratehookahonit，andascreentomatchthem，completethehandsomeeffectofthefurnishing。Thereisoneobject，however，whichishopelesslyoutofkeepingwithitssurroundings。
Thisisasmallkitchentable，muchtheworseforwear，fittedasawritingtablewithanoldcanisterfullofpens，aneggcupfilledwithink，andadeplorablescrapofseverelyusedpinkblottingpaper。
Atthesideofthistable，whichstandsontheright，Bluntschliishardatwork，withacoupleofmapsbeforehim，writingorders。AttheheadofitsitsSergius，whoisalsosupposedtobeatwork，butwhoisactuallygnawingthefeatherofapen，andcontemplatingBluntschli’squick，sure，businesslikeprogresswithamixtureofenviousirritationathisownincapacity，andawestruckwonderatanabilitywhichseemstohimalmostmiraculous，thoughitsprosaiccharacterforbidshimtoesteemit。Themajoriscomfortablyestablishedontheottoman，withanewspaperinhishandandthetubeofthehookahwithinhisreach。Catherinesitsatthestove，withherbacktothem，embroidering。Raina，recliningonthedivanunderthelefthandwindow，isgazinginadaydreamoutattheBalkanlandscape，withaneglectednovelinherlap。
Thedoorisontheleft。Thebuttonoftheelectricbellisbetweenthedoorandthefireplace。
PETKOFF（lookingupfromhispapertowatchhowtheyaregettingonatthetable）。AreyousureIcan’thelpyouinanyway，Bluntschli？
BLUNTSCHLI（withoutinterruptinghiswritingorlookingup）。
Quitesure，thankyou。SaranoffandIwillmanageit。
SERGIUS（grimly）。Yes：we’llmanageit。Hefindsoutwhattodo;drawsuptheorders;andIsign’em。Divisionoflabour，Major。（Bluntschlipasseshimapaper。）Anotherone？Thankyou。
（Heplantsthepaperssquarelybeforehim;setshischaircarefullyparalleltothem;andsignswiththeairofamanresolutelyperformingadifficultanddangerousfeat。）Thishandismoreaccustomedtotheswordthantothepen。
PETKOFF。It’sverygoodofyou，Bluntschli，itisindeed，toletyourselfbeputuponinthisway。NowareyouquitesureIcandonothing？
CATHERINE（inalow，warningtone）。Youcanstopinterrupting，Paul。
PETKOFF（startingandlookingroundather）。Eh？Oh！Quiteright，mylove，quiteright。（Hetakeshisnewspaperup，butletsitdropagain。）Ah，youhaven’tbeencampaigning，Catherine：youdon’tknowhowpleasantitisforustosithere，afteragoodlunch，withnothingtodobutenjoyourselves。
There’sonlyonethingIwanttomakemethoroughlycomfortable。
CATHERINE。Whatisthat？
PETKOFF。Myoldcoat。I’mnotathomeinthisone：IfeelasifIwereonparade。
CATHERINE。MydearPaul，howabsurdyouareaboutthatoldcoat！
Itmustbehangingintheblueclosetwhereyouleftit。
PETKOFF。MydearCatherine，ItellyouI’velookedthere。AmI
tobelievemyowneyesornot？（Catherinequietlyrisesandpressesthebuttonoftheelectricbellbythefireplace。）Whatareyoushewingoffthatbellfor？（Shelooksathimmajestically，andsilentlyresumesherchairandherneedlework。）Mydear：ifyouthinktheobstinacyofyoursexcanmakeacoatoutoftwoolddressinggownsofRaina’s，yourwaterproof，andmymackintosh，you’remistaken。That’sexactlywhattheblueclosetcontainsatpresent。（Nicolapresentshimself。）
CATHERINE（unmovedbyPetkoff’ssally）。Nicola：gototheblueclosetandbringyourmaster’soldcoathere——thebraidedoneheusuallywearsinthehouse。
NICOLA。Yes，madam。（Nicolagoesout。）
PETKOFF。Catherine。
CATHERINE。Yes，Paul？
PETKOFF。IbetyouanypieceofjewelleryyouliketoorderfromSophiaagainstaweek’shousekeepingmoney，thatthecoatisn’tthere。
CATHERINE。Done，Paul。
PETKOFF（excitedbytheprospectofagamble）。Come：here’sanopportunityforsomesport。Who’llbetonit？Bluntschli：I’llgiveyousixtoone。
BLUNTSCHLI（imperturbably）。Itwouldberobbingyou，Major。
Madameissuretoberight。（Withoutlookingup，hepassesanotherbatchofpaperstoSergius。）
SERCIUS（alsoexcited）。Bravo，Switzerland！Major：IbetmybestchargeragainstanArabmareforRainathatNicolafindsthecoatinthebluecloset。
PETKOFF（eagerly）。Yourbestchar——
CATHERINE（hastilyinterruptinghim）。Don’tbefoolish，Paul。
AnArabianmarewillcostyou50，000levas。
RAINA（suddenlycomingoutofherpicturesquerevery）。Really，mother，ifyouaregoingtotakethejewellery，Idon’tseewhyyoushouldgrudgememyArab。
（NicolacomerbackwiththecoatandbringsittoPetkoff，whocanhardlybelievehiseyes。）
CATHERINE。Wherewasit，Nicola？
NICOLA。Hanginginthebluecloset，madam。
PETKOFF。Well，Iamd——
CATHERINE（stoppinghim）。Paul！
PETKOFF。Icouldhaveswornitwasn’tthere。Ageisbeginningtotellonme。I’mgettinghallucinations。（ToNicola。）Here：helpmetochange。Excuseme，Bluntschli。（Hebeginschangingcoats，Nicolaactingasvalet。）Remember：Ididn’ttakethatbetofyours，Sergius。You’dbettergiveRainathatArabsteedyourself，sinceyou’verousedherexpectations。Eh，Raina？（Helooksroundather;butsheisagainraptinthelandscape。Withalittlegushofpaternalaffectionandpride，hepointsherouttothemandsays）She’sdreaming，asusual。
SERGIUS。Assuredlysheshallnotbetheloser。
PETKOFF。Somuchthebetterforher。Ishan’tcomeoffsocheap，Iexpect。（Thechangeisnowcomplete。Nicolagoesoutwiththediscardedcoat。）Ah，nowIfeelathomeatlast。（Hesitsdownandtakeshisnewspaperwithagruntofrelief。）
BLUNTSCHLI（toSergius，handingapaper）。That’sthelastorder。
PETKOFF（jumpingup）。What！finished？
BLUNTSCHLI。Finished。（PetkoffgoesbesideSergius;lookscuriouslyoverhisleftshoulderashesigns;andsayswithchildlikeenvy）Haven’tyouanythingformetosign？
BLUNTSCHLI。Notnecessary。Hissignaturewilldo。
PETKOFF。Ah，well，Ithinkwe’vedoneathunderinggoodday’swork。（Hegoesawayfromthetable。）CanIdoanythingmore？
BLUNTSCHLI。Youhadbetterbothseethefellowsthataretotakethese。（ToSergius。）Packthemoffatonce;andshewthemthatI’vemarkedontheordersthetimetheyshouldhandtheminby。
Tellthemthatiftheystoptodrinkortellstories——ifthey’refiveminuteslate，they’llhavetheskintakenofftheirbacks。
SERGIUS（risingindignantly）。I’llsayso。Andifoneofthemismanenoughtospitinmyfaceforinsultinghim，I’llbuyhisdischargeandgivehimapension。（Hestridesout，hishumanitydeeplyoutraged。）
BLUNTSCHLI（confidentially）。Justseethathetalkstothemproperly，Major，willyou？
PETKOFF（officiously）。Quiteright，Bluntschli，quiteright。
I’llseetoit。（Hegoestothedoorimportantly，buthesitatesonthethreshold。）Bythebye，Catherine，youmayaswellcome，too。They’llbefarmorefrightenedofyouthanofme。
CATHERINE（puttingdownherembroidery）。IdaresayIhadbetter。Youwillonlysplutteratthem。（Shegoesout，Petkoffholdingthedoorforherandfollowingher。）
BLUNTSCHLI。Whatacountry！Theymakecannonsoutofcherrytrees;andtheofficerssendfortheirwivestokeepdiscipline！
（Hebeginstofoldanddocketthepapers。Raina，whohasrisenfromthedivan，strollsdowntheroomwithherhandsclaspedbehindher，andlooksmischievouslyathim。）
RAINA。Youlookeversomuchnicerthanwhenwelastmet。（Helooksup，surprised。）Whathaveyoudonetoyourself？
BLUNTSCHLI。Washed;brushed;goodnight’ssleepandbreakfast。
That’sall。
RAINA。Didyougetbacksafelythatmorning？
BLUNTSCHLI。Quite，thanks。
RAINA。WeretheyangrywithyouforrunningawayfromSergius’scharge？
BLUNTSCHLI。No，theywereglad;becausethey’dalljustrunawaythemselves。
RAINA（goingtothetable，andleaningoverittowardshim）。Itmusthavemadealovelystoryforthem——allthataboutmeandmyroom。
BLUNTSCHLI。Capitalstory。ButIonlytoldittooneofthem——aparticularfriend。
RAINA。Onwhosediscretionyoucouldabsolutelyrely？
BLUNTSCHLI。Absolutely。
RAINA。Hm！HetolditalltomyfatherandSergiusthedayyouexchangedtheprisoners。（Sheturnsawayandstrollscarelesslyacrosstotheothersideoftheroom。）
BLUNTSCHLI（deeplyconcernedandhalfincredulous）。No！youdon’tmeanthat，doyou？
RAINA（turning，withsuddenearnestness）。Idoindeed。Buttheydon’tknowthatitwasinthishousethatyouhid。IfSergiusknew，hewouldchallengeyouandkillyouinaduel。
BLUNTSCHLI。Blessme！thendon’ttellhim。
RAINA（fullofreproachforhislevity）。Canyourealizewhatitistometodeceivehim？IwanttobequiteperfectwithSergius——nomeanness，nosmallness，nodeceit。Myrelationtohimistheonereallybeautifulandnoblepartofmylife。I
hopeyoucanunderstandthat。
BLUNTSCHLI（sceptically）。Youmeanthatyouwouldn’tlikehimtofindoutthatthestoryabouttheicepuddingwasa——a——a——Youknow。
RAINA（wincing）。Ah，don’ttalkofitinthatflippantway。I
lied：Iknowit。ButIdidittosaveyourlife。Hewouldhavekilledyou。ThatwasthesecondtimeIeverutteredafalsehood。
（Bluntschlirisesquicklyandlooksdoubtfullyandsomewhatseverelyather。）Doyourememberthefirsttime？
BLUNTSCHLI。I！No。WasIpresent？
RAINA。Yes;andItoldtheofficerwhowassearchingforyouthatyouwerenotpresent。
BLUNTSCHLI。True。Ishouldhaverememberedit。
RAINA（greatlyencouraged）。Ah，itisnaturalthatyoushouldforgetitfirst。Itcostyounothing：itcostmealie！——alie！！
（Shesitsdownontheottoman，lookingstraightbeforeherwithherhandsclaspedonherknee。Bluntschli，quitetouched，goestotheottomanwithaparticularlyreassuringandconsiderateair，andsitsdownbesideher。）
BLUNTSCHLI。Mydearyounglady，don’tletthisworryyou。
Remember：I’masoldier。Nowwhatarethetwothingsthathappentoasoldiersooftenthathecomestothinknothingofthem？
Oneishearingpeopletelllies（Rainarecoils）：theotherisgettinghislifesavedinallsortsofwaysbyallsortsofpeople。
RAINA（risinginindignantprotest）。Andsohebecomesacreatureincapableoffaithandofgratitude。
BLUNTSCHLI（makingawryface）。Doyoulikegratitude？Idon’t。
Ifpityisakintolove，gratitudeisakintotheotherthing。
RAINA。Gratitude！（Turningonhim。）Ifyouareincapableofgratitudeyouareincapableofanynoblesentiment。Evenanimalsaregrateful。Oh，Iseenowexactlywhatyouthinkofme！Youwerenotsurprisedtohearmelie。ToyouitwassomethingI
probablydideveryday——everyhour。Thatishowmenthinkofwomen。（Shewalksuptheroommelodramatically。）
BLUNTSCHLI（dubiously）。There’sreasonineverything。Yousaidyou’dtoldonlytwoliesinyourwholelife。Dearyounglady：
isn’tthatratherashortallowance？I’mquiteastraightforwardmanmyself;butitwouldn’tlastmeawholemorning。
RAINA（staringhaughtilyathim）。Doyouknow，sir，thatyouareinsultingme？
BLUNTSCHLI。Ican’thelpit。Whenyougetintothatnobleattitudeandspeakinthatthrillingvoice，Iadmireyou;butI
finditimpossibletobelieveasinglewordyousay。
RAINA（superbly）。CaptainBluntschli！
BLUNTSCHLI（unmoved）。Yes？
RAINA（comingalittletowardshim，asifshecouldnotbelievehersenses）。Doyoumeanwhatyousaidjustnow？Doyouknowwhatyousaidjustnow？
BLUNTSCHLI。Ido。
RAINA（gasping）。I！I！！！（Shepointstoherselfincredulously，meaning\"I，RainaPetkoff，telllies！\"Hemeetshergazeunflinchingly。Shesuddenlysitsdownbesidehim，andadds，withacompletechangeofmannerfromtheheroictothefamiliar）Howdidyoufindmeout？
BLUNTSCHLI（promptly）。Instinct，dearyounglady。Instinct，andexperienceoftheworld。
RAINA（wonderingly）。Doyouknow，youarethefirstmanIevermetwhodidnottakemeseriously？
BLUNTSCHLI。Youmean，don’tyou，thatIamthefirstmanthathasevertakenyouquiteseriously？
RAINA。Yes，IsupposeIdomeanthat。（Cosily，quiteathereasewithhim。）Howstrangeitistobetalkedtoinsuchaway！Youknow，I’vealwaysgoneonlikethat——Imeanthenobleattitudeandthethrillingvoice。IdiditwhenIwasatinychildtomynurse。Shebelievedinit。Idoitbeforemyparents。Theybelieveinit。IdoitbeforeSergius。Hebelievesinit。
BLUNTSCHLI。Yes：he’salittleinthatlinehimself，isn’the？
RAINA（startled）。Doyouthinkso？
BLUNTSCHLI。YouknowhimbetterthanIdo。
RAINA。Iwonder——Iwonderishe？IfIthoughtthat——！
（Discouraged。）Ah，well，whatdoesitmatter？Isuppose，nowthatyou’vefoundmeout，youdespiseme。
BLUNTSCHLI（warmly，rising）。No，mydearyounglady，no，no，noathousandtimes。It’spartofyouryouth——partofyourcharm。
I’mlikealltherestofthem——thenurse——yourparents——Sergius：I’myourinfatuatedadmirer。
RAINA（pleased）。Really？
BLUNTSCHLI（slappinghisbreastsmartlywithhishand，Germanfashion）。HandaufsHerz！Reallyandtruly。
RAINA（veryhappy）。Butwhatdidyouthinkofmeforgivingyoumyportrait？
BLUNTSCHLI（astonished）。Yourportrait！Younevergavemeyourportrait。
RAINA（quickly）。Doyoumeantosayyounevergotit？
BLUNTSCHLI。No。（Hesitsdownbesideher，withrenewedinterest，andsays，withsomecomplacency。）Whendidyousendittome？
RAINA（indignantly）。Ididnotsendittoyou。（Sheturnsherheadaway，andadds，reluctantly。）Itwasinthepocketofthatcoat。
BLUNTSCHLI（pursinghislipsandroundinghiseyes）。Oh-o-oh！I
neverfoundit。Itmustbetherestill。
RAINA（springingup）。Therestill！——formyfathertofindthefirsttimeheputshishandinhispocket！Oh，howcouldyoubesostupid？
BLUNTSCHLI（risingalso）。Itdoesn’tmatter：it’sonlyaphotograph：howcanhetellwhoitwasintendedfor？Tellhimheputittherehimself。
RAINA（impatiently）。Yes，thatissoclever——soclever！WhatshallIdo？
BLUNTSCHLI。Ah，Isee。Youwrotesomethingonit。Thatwasrash！
RAINA（annoyedalmosttotears）。Oh，tohavedonesuchathingforyou，whocarenomore——excepttolaughatme——oh！Areyousurenobodyhastouchedit？
BLUNTSCHLI。Well，Ican’tbequitesure。YouseeIcouldn’tcarryitaboutwithmeallthetime：onecan’ttakemuchluggageonactiveservice。
RAINA。Whatdidyoudowithit？
BLUNTSCHLI。WhenIgotthroughtoPeerotIhadtoputitinsafekeepingsomehow。Ithoughtoftherailwaycloakroom;butthat’sthesurestplacetogetlootedinmodernwarfare。SoIpawnedit。
RAINA。Pawnedit！！！
BLUNTSCHLI。Iknowitdoesn’tsoundnice;butitwasmuchthesafestplan。Iredeemeditthedaybeforeyesterday。Heavenonlyknowswhetherthepawnbrokerclearedoutthepocketsornot。
RAINA（furious——throwingthewordsrightintohisface）。Youhavealow，shopkeepingmind。Youthinkofthingsthatwouldnevercomeintoagentleman’shead。
BLUNTSCHLI（phlegmatically）。That’stheSwissnationalcharacter，dearlady。
RAINA。Oh，IwishIhadnevermetyou。（Sheflouncesawayandsitsatthewindowfuming。）
（Loukacomesinwithaheapoflettersandtelegramsonhersalver，andcrosses，withherbold，freegait，tothetable。Herleftsleeveisloopeduptotheshoulderwithabrooch，shewinghernakedarm，withabroadgiltbraceletcoveringthebruise。）
LOUKA（toBluntschli）。Foryou。（Sheemptiesthesalverrecklesslyonthetable。）Themessengeriswaiting。（SheisdeterminednottobeciviltoaServian，evenifshemustbringhimhisletters。）
BLUNTSCHLI（toRaina）。Willyouexcuseme：thelastpostaldeliverythatreachedmewasthreeweeksago。Thesearethesubsequentaccumulations。Fourtelegrams——aweekold。（Heopensone。）Oho！Badnews！
RAINA（risingandadvancingalittleremorsefully）。Badnews？
BLUNTSCHLI。Myfather’sdead。（Helooksatthetelegramwithhislipspursed，musingontheunexpectedchangeinhisarrangements。）
RAINA。Oh，howverysad！
BLUNTSCHLI。Yes：Ishallhavetostartforhomeinanhour。Hehasleftalotofbighotelsbehindhimtobelookedafter。
（Takesupaheavyletterinalongblueenvelope。）Here’sawhackingletterfromthefamilysolicitor。（Hepullsouttheenclosuresandglancesoverthem。）GreatHeavens！Seventy！Twohundred！（Inacrescendoofdismay。）Fourhundred！Fourthousand！！Ninethousandsixhundred！！！WhatonearthshallIdowiththemall？
RAINA（timidly）。Ninethousandhotels？
BLUNTSCHLI。Hotels！Nonsense。Ifyouonlyknew！——oh，it’stooridiculous！Excuseme：Imustgivemyfellowordersaboutstarting。（Heleavestheroomhastily，withthedocumentsinhishand。）
LOUKA（tauntingly）。Hehasnotmuchheart，thatSwiss，thoughheissofondoftheServians。Hehasnotawordofgriefforhispoorfather。
RAINA（bitterly）。Grief！——amanwhohasbeendoingnothingbutkillingpeopleforyears！Whatdoeshecare？Whatdoesanysoldiercare？（Shegoestothedoor，evidentlyrestraininghertearswithdifficulty。）
LOUKA。MajorSaranoffhasbeenfighting，too;andhehasplentyofheartleft。（Raina，atthedoor，lookshaughtilyatherandgoesout。）Aha！Ithoughtyouwouldn’tgetmuchfeelingoutofyoursoldier。（SheisfollowingRainawhenNicolaenterswithanarmfuloflogsforthefire。）
NICOLA（grinningamorouslyather）。I’vebeentryingalltheafternoontogetaminutealonewithyou，mygirl。（Hiscountenancechangesashenoticesherarm。）Why，whatfashionisthatofwearingyoursleeve，child？
LOUKA（proudly）。Myownfashion。
NICOLA。Indeed！Ifthemistresscatchesyou，she’lltalktoyou。
（Hethrowsthelogsdownontheottoman，andsitscomfortablybesidethem。）
LOUKA。Isthatanyreasonwhyyoushouldtakeitonyourselftotalktome？
NICOLA。Come：don’tbesocontrarywithme。I’vesomegoodnewsforyou。（Hetakesoutsomepapermoney。Louka，withaneagergleaminhereyes，comesclosetolookatit。）See，atwentylevabill！Sergiusgavemethatoutofpureswagger。Afoolandhismoneyaresoonparted。There’stenlevasmore。TheSwissgavemethatforbackingupthemistress’sandRaina’sliesabouthim。He’snofool，heisn’t。YoushouldhaveheardoldCatherinedownstairsaspoliteasyoupleasetome，tellingmenottomindtheMajorbeingalittleimpatient;fortheyknewwhatagoodservantIwas——aftermakingafoolandaliarofmebeforethemall！Thetwentywillgotooursavings;andyoushallhavethetentospendifyou’llonlytalktomesoastoremindmeI’mahumanbeing。Igettiredofbeingaservantoccasionally。
