第4章

类别:其他 作者:Amitav Ghosh字数:19446更新时间:19/01/03 15:23:56
TheunfailingRansomelightedthebinnacle- lampsandglided,allshadowy,uptome。 \"Willyougodownandtrytoeatsomething,sir?\"hesuggested。 Hislowvoicestartledme。Ihadbeenstandinglookingoutovertherail,sayingnothing,feelingnothing,noteventhewearinessofmylimbs,over- comebytheevilspell。 \"Ransome,\"Iaskedabruptly,\"howlonghaveI beenondeck?Iamlosingthenotionoftime。\" \"Twelvedays,sir,\"hesaid,\"andit’sjustafortnightsincewelefttheanchorage。\" Hisequablevoicesoundedmournfulsomehow。 Hewaitedabit,thenadded:\"It’sthefirsttimethatitlooksasifweweretohavesomerain。\" Inoticedthenthebroadshadowonthehorizon,extinguishingthelowstarscompletely,whilethoseoverhead,whenIlookedup,seemedtoshinedownonusthroughaveilofsmoke。 Howitgotthere,howithadcreptupsohigh,I couldn’tsay。Ithadanominousappearance。Theairdidnotstir。AtarenewedinvitationfromRansomeIdidgodownintothecabinto——inhisownwords——\"tryandeatsomething。\"Idon’tknowthatthetrialwasverysuccessful。Isup- poseatthatperiodIdidexistonfoodintheusualway;butthememoryisnowthatinthosedayslifewassustainedoninvincibleanguish,asasortofinfernalstimulantexcitingandconsumingatthesametime。 It’stheonlyperiodofmylifeinwhichIat- temptedtokeepadiary。No,nottheonlyone。 Yearslater,inconditionsofmoralisolation,Ididputdownonpaperthethoughtsandeventsofascoreofdays。Butthiswasthefirsttime。Idon’trememberhowitcameaboutorhowthepocket- bookandthepencilcameintomyhands。It’sin- conceivablethatIshouldhavelookedforthemonpurpose。Isupposetheysavedmefromthecrazytrickoftalkingtomyself。 Strangelyenough,inbothcasesItooktothatsortofthingincircumstancesinwhichIdidnotex- pect,incolloquialphrase,\"tocomeoutofit。\" NeithercouldIexpecttherecordtooutlastme。 Thisshowsthatitwaspurelyapersonalneedforintimatereliefandnotacallofegotism。 HereImustgiveanothersampleofit,afewde- tachedlines,nowlookingveryghostlytomyowneyes,outofthepartscribbledthatveryevening: *** \"Thereissomethinggoingonintheskylikeadecomposition;likeacorruptionoftheair,whichremainsasstillasever。Afterall,mereclouds,whichmayormaynotholdwindorrain。 Strangethatitshouldtroublemeso。Ifeelasifallmysinshadfoundmeout。ButIsupposethetroubleisthattheshipisstilllyingmotionless,notundercommand;andthatIhavenothingtodotokeepmyimaginationfromrunningwildamongstthedisastrousimagesoftheworstthatmaybefallus。What’sgoingtohappen?Probablynothing。 Oranything。Itmaybeafurioussquallcoming,buttendforemost。Andondecktherearefivemenwiththevitalityandthestrength,ofsay,two。 Wemayhavealloursailsblownaway。EverystitchofcanvashasbeenonhersincewebrokegroundatthemouthoftheMei-nam,fifteendaysago……orfifteencenturies。Itseemstomethatallmylifebeforethatmomentousdayisin- finitelyremote,afadingmemoryoflight-heartedyouth,somethingontheothersideofashadow。 Yes,sailsmayverywellbeblownaway。Andthatwouldbelikeadeathsentenceonthemen。Wehaven’tstrengthenoughonboardtobendanothersuit;incrediblethought,butitistrue。Orwemayevengetdismasted。Shipshavebeendismastedinsquallssimplybecausetheyweren’thandledquickenough,andwehavenopowertowhirltheyardsaround。It’slikebeingboundhandandfootpre- paratorytohavingone’sthroatcut。AndwhatappalsmemostofallisthatIshrinkfromgoingondecktofaceit。It’sduetotheship,it’sduetothemenwhoarethereondeck——someofthem,readytoputoutthelastremnantoftheirstrengthatawordfromme。AndIamshrinkingfromit。Fromthemerevision。Myfirstcommand。NowI understandthatstrangesenseofinsecurityinmypast。IalwayssuspectedthatImightbenogood。 Andhereisproofpositive。Iamshirkingit。I amnogood。\" *** Atthatmoment,or,perhaps,themomentafter,IbecameawareofRansomestandinginthecabin。 Somethinginhisexpressionstartledme。IthadameaningwhichIcouldnotmakeout。Iexclaimed: \"Somebody’sdead。\" Itwashisturnthentolookstartled。 \"Dead?NotthatIknowof,sir。Ihavebeenintheforecastleonlytenminutesagoandtherewasnodeadmantherethen。\" \"Youdidgivemeascare,\"Isaid。 Hisvoicewasextremelypleasanttolistento。 HeexplainedthathehadcomedownbelowtocloseMr。Burns’portincaseitshouldcomeontorain。 \"HedidnotknowthatIwasinthecabin,\"headded。 \"Howdoesitlookoutside?\"Iaskedhim。 \"Veryblack,indeed,sir。Thereissomethinginitforcertain。\" \"Inwhatquarter?\" \"Allround,sir。\" Irepeatedidly:\"Allround。Forcertain,\"withmyelbowsonthetable。 Ransomelingeredinthecabinasifhehadsome- thingtodothere,buthesitatedaboutdoingit。I saidsuddenly: \"YouthinkIoughttobeondeck?\" Heansweredatoncebutwithoutanyparticularemphasisoraccent:\"Ido,sir。\" Igottomyfeetbriskly,andhemadewayformetogoout。AsIpassedthroughthelobbyIheardMr。Burns’voicesaying: \"Shutthedoorofmyroom,willyou,steward?\" AndRansome’srathersurprised:\"Certainly,sir。\" Ithoughtthatallmyfeelingshadbeendulledintocompleteindifference。ButIfounditastry- ingasevertobeondeck。Theimpenetrableblack- nessbesettheshipsoclosethatitseemedthatbythrustingone’shandoverthesideonecouldtouchsomeunearthlysubstance。Therewasinitaneffectofinconceivableterrorandofinexpressiblemystery。Thefewstarsoverheadshedadimlightupontheshipalone,withnogleamsofanykinduponthewater,indetachedshaftspiercinganat- mospherewhichhadturnedtosoot。Itwassome- thingIhadneverseenbefore,givingnohintofthedirectionfromwhichanychangewouldcome,theclosinginofamenacefromallsides。 Therewasstillnomanatthehelm。Theim- mobilityofallthingswasperfect。Iftheairhadturnedblack,thesea,forallIknew,mighthaveturnedsolid。Itwasnogoodlookinginanydi- rection,watchingforanysign,speculatinguponthenearnessofthemoment。Whenthetimecametheblacknesswouldoverwhelmsilentlythebitofstarlightfallingupontheship,andtheendofallthingswouldcomewithoutasigh,stir,ormurmurofanykind,andallourheartswouldceasetobeatlikerun-downclocks。 Itwasimpossibletoshakeoffthatsenseoffinality。Thequietnessthatcameovermewaslikeaforetasteofannihilation。Itgavemeasortofcomfort,asthoughmysoulhadbecomesuddenlyreconciledtoaneternityofblindstillness。 Theseaman’sinstinctalonesurvivedwholeinmymoraldissolution。Idescendedtheladdertothequarter-deck。Thestarlightseemedtodieoutbeforereachingthatspot,butwhenIaskedquietly:\"Areyouthere,men?\"myeyesmadeoutshadowformsstartinguparoundme,veryfew,veryindistinct;andavoicespoke:\"Allhere,sir。\" Anotheramendedanxiously: \"Allthatareanygoodforanything,sir。\" Bothvoiceswereveryquietandunringing;with- outanyspecialcharacterofreadinessordiscour- agement。Verymatter-of-factvoices。 \"Wemusttrytohaulthismainsailcloseup,\"Isaid。 Theshadowsswayedawayfrommewithoutaword。Thosemenweretheghostsofthemselves,andtheirweightonaropecouldbenomorethantheweightofabunchofghosts。Indeed,ifeverasailwashauledupbysheerspiritualstrengthitmusthavebeenthatsail,for,properlyspeaking,therewasnotmuscleenoughforthetaskinthewholeshipletalonethemiserablelotofusondeck。 Ofcourse,Itooktheleadintheworkmyself。 Theywanderedfeeblyaftermefromropetorope,stumblingandpanting。TheytoiledlikeTitans。 Wewerehalf-an-houratitatleast,andallthetimetheblackuniversemadenosound。Whenthelastleech-linewasmadefast,myeyes,accustomedtothedarkness,madeouttheshapesofexhaustedmendroopingovertherails,collapsedonhatches。 Onehungovertheafter-capstan,sobbingforbreath,andIstoodamongstthemlikeatowerofstrength,impervioustodiseaseandfeelingonlythesicknessofmysoul。Iwaitedforsometimefight- ingagainsttheweightofmysins,againstmysenseofunworthiness,andthenIsaid: \"Now,men,we’llgoaftandsquarethemainyard。 That’saboutallwecandofortheship;andfortherestshemusttakeherchance。\" part2-6 ChapterVI ASWEallwentupitoccurredtomethatthereoughttobeamanatthehelm。Iraisedmyvoicenotmuchaboveawhisper,and,noiselessly,anun- complainingspiritinafever-wastedbodyappearedinthelightaft,theheadwithholloweyesillumi- natedagainsttheblacknesswhichhadswallowedupourworld——andtheuniverse。Thebaredfore- armextendedovertheupperspokesseemedtoshinewithalightofitsown。 Imurmuredtothatluminousappearance: \"Keepthehelmrightamidships。\" Itansweredinatoneofpatientsuffering: \"Rightamidships,sir。\" ThenIdescendedtothequarter-deck。Itwasimpossibletotellwhencetheblowwouldcome。Tolookroundtheshipwastolookintoabottomless,blackpit。Theeyelostitselfininconceivabledepths。 Iwantedtoascertainwhethertheropeshadbeenpickedupoffthedeck。Onecouldonlydothatbyfeelingwithone’sfeet。InmycautiousprogressI cameagainstamaninwhomIrecognizedRansome。Hepossessedanunimpairedphysicalsoliditywhichwasmanifesttomeatthecontact。 Hewasleaningagainstthequarter-deckcapstanandkeptsilent。Itwaslikearevelation。HewasthecollapsedfiguresobbingforbreathIhadno- ticedbeforewewentonthepoop。 \"Youhavebeenhelpingwiththemainsail!\"I exclaimedinalowtone。 \"Yes,sir,\"soundedhisquietvoice。 \"Man!Whatwereyouthinkingof?Youmustn’tdothatsortofthing。\" Afterapauseheassented:\"IsupposeI mustn’t。\"Thenafteranothershortsilenceheadded:\"Iamallrightnow,\"quickly,betweenthetell-talegasps。 Icouldneitherhearnorseeanybodyelse;butwhenIspokeup,answeringsadmurmursfilledthequarter-deck,anditsshadowsseemedtoshifthereandthere。Iorderedallthehalyardslaiddownondeckclearforrunning。 \"I’llseetothat,sir,\"volunteeredRansomeinhisnatural,pleasanttone,whichcomfortedoneandarousedone’scompassion,too,somehow。 Thatmanoughttohavebeeninhisbed,resting,andmyplaindutywastosendhimthere。Butperhapshewouldnothaveobeyedme;Ihadnotthestrengthofmindtotry。AllIsaidwas: \"Goaboutitquietly,Ransome。\" ReturningonthepoopIapproachedGambril。 Hisface,setwithhollowshadowsinthelight,lookedawful,finallysilenced。Iaskedhimhowhefelt,buthardlyexpectedananswer。There- fore,Iwasastonishedathiscomparativeloquac- ity。 \"Themshakesleavesmeasweakasakitten,sir,\"hesaid,preservingfinelythatairofuncon- sciousnessastoanythingbuthisbusinessahelms- manshouldneverlose。\"AndbeforeIcanpickupmystrengththattherehotfitcomesalongandknocksmeoveragain。\" Hesighed。Therewasnoreproachinhistone,butthebarewordswereenoughtogivemeahor- riblepangofself-reproach。Itheldmedumbforatime。WhenthetormentingsensationhadpassedoffIasked: \"Doyoufeelstrongenoughtopreventtherud- dertakingchargeifshegetssternwayonher?Itwouldn’tdotogetsomethingsmashedaboutthesteering-gearnow。We’veenoughdifficultiestocopewithasitis。\" Heansweredwithjustashadeofwearinessthathewasstrongenoughtohangon。Hecouldpromisemethatsheshouldn’ttakethewheeloutofhishands。Morehecouldn’tsay。 AtthatmomentRansomeappearedquiteclosetome,steppingoutofthedarknessintovisibilitysuddenly,asifjustcreatedwithhiscomposedfaceandpleasantvoice。 Everyropeondeck,hesaid,waslaiddownclearforrunning,asfarasonecouldmakecertainbyfeeling。Itwasimpossibletoseeanything。 Frenchyhadstationedhimselfforward。Hesaidhehadajumportwoleftinhimyet。 Hereafaintsmilealteredforaninstanttheclear,firmdesignofRansome’slips。Withhisseriousclear,grayeyes,hisserenetemperament—— hewasapricelessmanaltogether。Soulasfirmasthemusclesofhisbody。 Hewastheonlymanonboard(exceptme,butI hadtopreservemylibertyofmovement)whohadasufficiencyofmuscularstrengthtotrustto。ForamomentIthoughtIhadbetteraskhimtotakethewheel。Butthedreadfulknowledgeoftheenemyhehadtocarryabouthimmademehesi- tate。Inmyignoranceofphysiologyitoccurredtomethathemightdiesuddenly,fromexcitement,atacriticalmoment。 Whilethisgruesomefearrestrainedthereadywordsonthetipofmytongue,Ransomesteppedbacktwopacesandvanishedfrommysight。 Atonceanuneasinesspossessedme,asifsomesupporthadbeenwithdrawn。Imovedforward,too,outsidethecircleoflight,intothedarknessthatstoodinfrontofmelikeawall。InonestrideIpenetratedit。Suchmusthavebeenthedark- nessbeforecreation。Ithadclosedbehindme。I knewIwasinvisibletothemanatthehelm。 NeithercouldIseeanything。Hewasalone,Iwasalone,everymanwasalonewherehestood。Andeveryformwasgone,too,spar,sail,fittings,rails; everythingwasblottedoutinthedreadfulsmooth- nessofthatabsolutenight。 Aflashoflightningwouldhavebeenarelief——I meanphysically。Iwouldhaveprayedforitifithadn’tbeenformyshrinkingapprehensionofthethunder。InthetensionofsilenceIwassufferingfromitseemedtomethatthefirstcrashmustturnmeintodust。 Andthunderwas,mostlikely,whatwouldhap- pennext。Stiffalloverandhardlybreathing,Iwaitedwithahorriblystrainedexpectation。 Nothinghappened。Itwasmaddening,butadull,growingacheinthelowerpartofmyfacemademeawarethatIhadbeengrindingmyteethmadlyenough,forGodknowshowlong。 It’sextraordinaryIshouldnothaveheardmy- selfdoingit;butIhadn’t。ByaneffortwhichabsorbedallmyfacultiesImanagedtokeepmyjawstill。Itrequiredmuchattention,andwhilethusengagedIbecamebotheredbycurious,ir- regularsoundsoffainttappingonthedeck。Theycouldbeheardsingle,inpairs,ingroups。WhileIwonderedatthismysteriousdevilry,Ireceivedaslightblowunderthelefteyeandfeltanenor- moustearrundownmycheek。Raindrops。 Enormous。Forerunnersofsomething。 Tap。Tap。Tap…… Iturnedabout,and,addressingGambrelearnestly,entreatedhimto\"hangontothewheel。\" ButIcouldhardlyspeakfromemotion。Thefatalmomenthadcome。Iheldmybreath。Thetap- pinghadstoppedasunexpectedlyasithadbegun,andtherewasarenewedmomentofintolerablesus- pense;somethinglikeanadditionalturnoftherackingscrew。Idon’tsupposeIwouldhaveeverscreamed,butIremembermyconvictionthattherewasnothingelseforitbuttoscream。 Suddenly——howamItoconveyit?Well,sud- denlythedarknessturnedintowater。Thisistheonlysuitablefigure。Aheavyshower,adown- pour,comesalong,makinganoise。Youhearitsapproachonthesea,intheair,too,Iverilybelieve。 Butthiswasdifferent。Withnopreliminarywhisperorrustle,withoutasplash,andevenwith- outtheghostofimpact,Ibecameinstantaneouslysoakedtotheskin。Notaverydifficultmatter,sinceIwaswearingonlymysleepingsuit。Myhairgotfullofwaterinaninstant,waterstreamedonmyskin,itfilledmynose,myears,myeyes。 InafractionofasecondIswallowedquitealotofit。 AstoGambril,hewasfairlychoked。Hecoughedpitifully,thebrokencoughofasickman; andIbeheldhimasoneseesafishinanaquariumbythelightofanelectricbulb,anelusive,phos- phorescentshape。Onlyhedidnotglideaway。 Butsomethingelsehappened。Bothbinnacle- lampswentout。Isupposethewaterforceditselfintothem,thoughIwouldn’thavethoughtthatpossible,fortheyfittedintothecowlperfectly。 Thelastgleamoflightintheuniversehadgone,pursuedbyalowexclamationofdismayfromGambril。Igropedforhimandseizedhisarm。 Howstartlinglywasteditwas。 \"Nevermind,\"Isaid。\"Youdon’twantthelight。Allyouneedtodoistokeepthewind,whenitcomes,atthebackofyourhead。Youunderstand?\" \"Aye,aye,sir……ButIshouldliketohavealight,\"headdednervously。 Allthattimetheshiplayassteadyasarock。 Thenoiseofthewaterpouringoffthesailsandspars,flowingoverthebreakofthepoop,hadstoppedshort。Thepoopscuppersgurgledandsobbedforalittlewhilelonger,andthenperfectsilence,joinedtoperfectimmobility,proclaimedtheyetunbrokenspellofourhelplessness,poisedontheedgeofsomeviolentissue,lurkinginthedark。 Istartedforwardrestlessly。Ididnotneedmysighttopacethepoopofmyill-starredfirstcom- mandwithperfectassurance。Everysquarefootofherdeckswasimpressedindeliblyonmybrain,totheverygrainandknotsoftheplanks。Yet,allofasudden,Ifellcleanoversomething,landingfulllengthonmyhandsandface。 Itwassomethingbigandalive。Notadog—— morelikeasheep,rather。Buttherewerenoanimalsintheship。Howcouldananimal…… ItwasanaddedandfantastichorrorwhichIcouldnotresist。ThehairofmyheadstirredevenasI pickedmyselfup,awfullyscared;notasamanisscaredwhilehisjudgment,hisreasonstilltrytoresist,butcompletely,boundlessly,and,asitwere,innocentlyscared——likealittlechild。 IcouldseeIt——thatThing!Thedarkness,ofwhichsomuchhadjustturnedintowater,hadthinneddownalittle。ThereItwas!ButIdidnothituponthenotionofMr。Burnsissuingoutofthecompaniononallfourstillheattemptedtostandup,andeventhentheideaofabearcrossedmymindfirst。 HegrowledlikeonewhenIseizedhimroundthebody。Hehadbuttonedhimselfupintoanenor- mouswinterovercoatofsomewoollymaterial,theweightofwhichwastoomuchforhisreducedstate。 Icouldhardlyfeeltheincrediblythinlathofhisbody,lostwithinthethickstuff,buthisgrowlhaddepthandsubstance:Confoundeddumpshipwithacraven,tiptoeingcrowd。Whycouldn’ttheystampandgowithabrace?Wasn’tthereoneGod- forsakenlubberinthelotfittoraiseayellonarope? \"Skulking’snogood,sir,\"heattackedmedirectly。\"Youcan’tslinkpasttheoldmurderousruffian。Itisn’ttheway。Youmustgoforhimboldly——asIdid。Boldnessiswhatyouwant。 Showhimthatyoudon’tcareforanyofhisdamnedtricks。Kickupajollyoldrow。\" \"GoodGod,Mr。Burns,\"Isaidangrily。 \"Whatonearthareyouupto?Whatdoyoumeanbycomingupondeckinthisstate?\" \"Justthat!Boldness。Theonlywaytoscaretheoldbullyingrascal。\" Ipushedhim,stillgrowling,againsttherail。 \"Holdontoit,\"Isaidroughly。Ididnotknowwhattodowithhim。Ilefthiminahurry,togotoGambril,whohadcalledfaintlythathebelievedtherewassomewindaloft。Indeed,myownearshadcaughtafeebleflutterofwetcanvas,highupoverhead,thejingleofaslackchainsheet…… Thesewereeerie,disturbing,alarmingsoundsinthedeadstillnessoftheairaroundme。AlltheinstancesIhadheardoftopmastsbeingwhippedoutofashipwhiletherewasnotwindenoughonherdecktoblowoutamatchrushedintomymemory。 \"Ican’tseetheuppersails,sir,\"declaredGambrilshakily。 \"Don’tmovethehelm。You’llbeallright,\"I saidconfidently。 Thepoorman’snervesweregone。Minewerenotinmuchbettercase。Itwasthemomentofbreakingstrainandwasrelievedbytheabruptsensationoftheshipmovingforwardasifofher- selfundermyfeet。Iheardplainlythesoughingofthewindaloft,thelowcracksoftheuppersparstakingthestrain,longbeforeIcouldfeeltheleastdraughtonmyfaceturnedaft,anxiousandsight- lesslikethefaceofablindman。 Suddenlyalouder-soundingnotefilledourears,thedarknessstartedstreamingagainstourbodies,chillingthemexceedingly。Bothofus,GambrilandI,shiveredviolentlyinourclinging,soakedgarmentsofthincotton。Isaidtohim: \"Youareallrightnow,myman。Allyou’vegottodoistokeepthewindatthebackofyourhead。 Surelyyouareuptothat。Achildcouldsteerthisshipinsmoothwater。\" Hemuttered:\"Aye!Ahealthychild。\"AndI feltashamedofhavingbeenpassedoverbythefeverwhichhadbeenpreyingoneveryman’sstrengthbutmine,inorderthatmyremorsemightbethemorebitter,thefeelingofunworthinessmorepoignant,andthesenseofresponsibilityheaviertobear。 Theshiphadgatheredgreatwayonheralmostatonceonthecalmwater。Ifeltherslippingthroughitwithnoothernoisebutamysteriousrustlealongside。Otherwise,shehadnomotionatall,neitherliftnorroll。Itwasadishearteningsteadinesswhichhadlastedforeighteendaysnow;fornever,neverhadwehadwindenoughinthattimetoraisetheslightestrunofthesea。Thebreezefreshenedsuddenly。IthoughtitwashightimetogetMr。Burnsoffthedeck。Heworriedme。Ilookeduponhimasalunaticwhowouldbeverylikelytostartroamingovertheshipandbreakalimborfalloverboard。 IwastrulygladtofindhehadremainedholdingonwhereIhadlefthim,sensiblyenough。Hewas,however,mutteringtohimselfominously。 Thiswasdiscouraging。Iremarkedinamatter- of-facttone: \"Wehaveneverhadsomuchwindasthissincewelefttheroads。\" \"There’ssomeheartinit,too,\"hegrowledjudiciously。Itwasaremarkofaperfectlysaneseaman。Butheaddedimmediately:\"ItwasabouttimeIshouldcomeondeck。I’vebeennursingmystrengthforthis——justforthis。Doyouseeit,sir?\" IsaidIdid,andproceededtohintthatitwouldbeadvisableforhimtogobelownowandtakearest。 Hisanswerwasanindignant\"Gobelow!NotifIknowit,sir。\" Verycheerful!Hewasahorriblenuisance。Andallatoncehestartedtoargue。Icouldfeelhiscrazyexcitementinthedark。 \"Youdon’tknowhowtogoaboutit,sir。Howcouldyou?Allthiswhisperingandtiptoeingisnogood。Youcan’thopetoslinkpastacunning,wide-awake,evilbrutelikehewas。Youneverheardhimtalk。Enoughtomakeyourhairstandonend。No!No!Hewasn’tmad。HewasnomoremadthanIam。Hewasjustdownrightwicked。Wickedsoastofrightenmostpeople。I willtellyouwhathewas。Hewasnothinglessthanathiefandamurdereratheart。Anddoyouthinkhe’sanydifferentnowbecausehe’sdead? Nothe!Hiscarcassliesahundredfathomunder,buthe’sjustthesame……inlatitude8d20’ north。\" Hesnorteddefiantly。Inotedwithwearyresig- nationthatthebreezehadgotlighterwhileheraved。Hewasatitagain。 \"Ioughttohavethrownthebeggaroutoftheshipovertheraillikeadog。Itwasonlyonac- countofthemen……FancyhavingtoreadtheBurialServiceoverabrutelikethat!……’Ourdepartedbrother’……Icouldhavelaughed。 Thatwaswhathecouldn’tbear。IsupposeIamtheonlymanthateverstooduptolaughathim。 Whenhegotsickitusedtoscarethat…… brother……Brother……Departed……Soonercallasharkbrother。\" Thebreezehadletgososuddenlythatthewayoftheshipbroughtthewetsailsheavilyagainstthemast。Thespellofdeadlystillnesshadcaughtusupagain。Thereseemedtobenoescape。 \"Hallo!\"exclaimedMr。Burnsinastartledvoice。\"Calmagain!\" Iaddressedhimasthoughhehadbeensane。 \"Thisisthesortofthingwe’vebeenhavingforseventeendays,Mr。Burns,\"Isaidwithintensebitterness。\"Apuff,thenacalm,andinamo- ment,you’llsee,she’llbeswingingonherheelwithherheadawayfromhercoursetothedevilsome- where。\" Hecaughtattheword。\"TheolddodgingDevil,\"hescreamedpiercinglyandburstintosuchaloudlaughasIhadneverheardbefore。Itwasaprovoking,mockingpeal,withahair-raising,screechingover-noteofdefiance。Isteppedback,utterlyconfounded。 Instantlytherewasastironthequarter-deck; murmursofdismay。Adistressedvoicecriedoutinthedarkbelowus:\"Who’sthatgonecrazy,now?\" Perhapstheythoughtitwastheircaptain? Rushisnotthewordthatcouldbeappliedtotheutmostspeedthepoorfellowswereupto;butinanamazingshorttimeeverymanintheshipabletowalkuprighthadfoundhiswayontothatpoop。 Ishoutedtothem:\"It’sthemate。Layholdofhimacoupleofyou……\" Iexpectedthisperformancetoendinaghastlysortoffight。ButMr。Burnscuthisderisivescreechingdeadshortandturneduponthemfiercely,yelling: \"Aha!Dog-goneye!You’vefoundyourtongues——haveye?Ithoughtyouweredumb。 Well,then——laugh!Laugh——Itellyou。Nowthen——alltogether。One,two,three——laugh!\" Amomentofsilenceensued,ofsilencesopro- foundthatyoucouldhaveheardapindroponthedeck。ThenRansome’sunperturbedvoiceutteredpleasantlythewords: \"Ithinkhehasfainted,sir——\"Thelittlemotionlessknotofmenstirred,withlowmurmursofrelief。\"I’vegothimunderthearms。Getholdofhislegs,someone。\" Yes。Itwasarelief。Hewassilencedforatime——foratime。Icouldnothavestoodanotherpealofthatinsanescreeching。Iwassureofit; andjustthenGambril,theaustereGambril,treatedustoanothervocalperformance。Hebegantosingoutforrelief。Hisvoicewailedpitifullyinthedarkness:\"Comeaftsomebody!Ican’tstandthis。Hereshe’llbeoffagaindirectlyandI can’t……\" IdashedaftmyselfmeetingonmywayahardgustofwindwhoseapproachGambril’searhaddetectedfromafarandwhichfilledthesailsonthemaininaseriesofmuffledreportsmingledwiththelowplaintofthespars。IwasjustintimetoseizethewheelwhileFrenchywhohadfollowedmecaughtupthecollapsingGambril。Hehauledhimoutoftheway,admonishedhimtoliestillwherehewas,andthensteppeduptorelieveme,askingcalmly: \"HowamItosteerher,sir?\" \"Deadbeforeitforthepresent。I’llgetyoualightinamoment。\" ButgoingforwardImetRansomebringingupthesparebinnaclelamp。Thatmannoticedeverything,attendedtoeverything,shedcomfortaroundhimashemoved。Ashepassedmehere- markedinasoothingtonethatthestarswerecom- ingout。Theywere。Thebreezewassweepingclearthesootysky,breakingthroughtheindolentsilenceofthesea。 Thebarrierofawfulstillnesswhichhadencom- passedusforsomanydaysasthoughwehadbeenaccursed,wasbroken。Ifeltthat。Iletmyselffallontotheskylightseat。Afaintwhiteridgeoffoam,thin,verythin,brokealongside。Thefirstforages——forages。Icouldhavecheered,ifithadn’tbeenforthesenseofguiltwhichclungtoallmythoughtssecretly。Ransomestoodbeforeme。 \"Whataboutthemate,\"Iaskedanxiously。 \"Stillunconscious?\" \"Well,sir——it’sfunny,\"Ransomewasevidentlypuzzled。\"Hehasn’tspokenaword,andhiseyesareshut。Butitlookstomemorelikesoundsleepthananythingelse。\" Iacceptedthisviewastheleasttroublesomeofany,oratanyrate,leastdisturbing。Deadfaintordeepslumber,Mr。Burnshadtobelefttohim- selfforthepresent。Ransomeremarkedsud- denly: \"Ibelieveyouwantacoat,sir。\" \"IbelieveIdo,\"Isighedout。 ButIdidnotmove。WhatIfeltIwantedwerenewlimbs。Myarmsandlegsseemedutterlyuse- less,fairlywornout。Theydidn’tevenache。ButIstoodupallthesametoputonthecoatwhenRansomebroughtitup。Andwhenhesuggestedthathehadbetternow\"takeGambrilforward,\"I said: \"Allright。I’llhelpyoutogethimdownonthemaindeck。\" IfoundthatIwasquiteabletohelp,too。WeraisedGambrilupbetweenus。Hetriedtohelphimselfalonglikeamanbutallthetimehewasin- quiringpiteously: \"Youwon’tletmegowhenwecometothelad- der?Youwon’tletmegowhenwecometotheladder?\" Thebreezekeptonfresheningandblewtrue,truetoahair。Atdaylightbycarefulmanipula- tionofthehelmwegottheforeyardstorunsquarebythemselves(thewaterkeepingsmooth)andthenwentabouthaulingtheropestight。OfthefourmenIhadwithmeatnight,Icouldseenowonlytwo。Ididn’tinquireastotheothers。Theyhadgivenin。ForatimeonlyIhoped。 Ourvarioustasksforwardoccupiedusforhours,thetwomenwithmemovedsoslowandhadtorestsooften。Oneofthemremarkedthat\"everyblamedthingintheshipfeltaboutahundredtimesheavierthanitsproperweight。\"Thiswastheonlycomplaintuttered。Idon’tknowwhatweshouldhavedonewithoutRansome。Heworkedwithus,silent,too,withalittlesmilefrozenonhislips。FromtimetotimeImurmuredtohim: \"Gosteady\"——\"Takeiteasy,Ransome\"——andre- ceivedaquickglanceinreply。 Whenwehaddoneallwecoulddotomakethingssafe,hedisappearedintohisgalley。Sometimeafterward,goingforwardforalookround,I caughtsightofhimthroughtheopendoor。Hesatuprightonthelockerinfrontofthestove,withhisheadleaningbackagainstthebulkhead。Hiseyeswereclosed;hiscapablehandsheldopenthefrontofhisthincottonshirtbaringtragicallyhispowerfulchest,whichheavedinpainfulandlabouredgasps。Hedidn’thearme。 IretreatedquietlyandwentstraightontothepooptorelieveFrenchy,whobythattimewasbe- ginningtolookverysick。Hegavemethecoursewithgreatformalityandtriedtogooffwithajauntystep,butreeledwidelytwicebeforegettingoutofmysight。 AndthenIremainedallaloneaft,steeringmyship,whichranbeforethewindwithabuoyantliftnowandthen,andevenrollingalittle。PresentlyRansomeappearedbeforemewithatray。Thesightoffoodmademeravenousallatonce。HetookthewheelwhileIsatdownoftheaftergratingtoeatmybreakfast。 \"Thisbreezeseemstohavedoneforourcrowd,\" hemurmured。\"Itjustlaidthemlow——allhands。\" \"Yes,\"Isaid。\"IsupposeyouandIaretheonlytwofitmenintheship。\" \"Frenchysaysthere’sstillajumpleftinhim。I don’tknow。Itcan’tbemuch,\"continuedRan- somewithhiswistfulsmile。Goodlittlemanthat。 Butsuppose,sir,thatthiswindfliesroundwhenweareclosetotheland——whatarewegoingtodowithher?\" \"Ifthewindshiftsroundheavilyafterwecloseinwiththelandshewilleitherrunashoreorgetdismastedorboth。Wewon’tbeabletodoany- thingwithher。She’srunningawaywithusnow。 Allwecandoistosteerher。She’sashipwithoutacrew。\" \"Yes。Alllaidlow,\"repeatedRansomequietly。 \"Idogivethemalook-inforwardeverynowandthen,butit’spreciouslittleIcandoforthem。\" \"I,andtheship,andeveryoneonboardofher,areverymuchindebtedtoyou,Ransome,\"Isaidwarmly。 Hemadeasthoughhehadnotheardme,andsteeredinsilencetillIwasreadytorelievehim。Hesurrenderedthewheel,pickedupthetray,andforapartingshotinformedmethatMr。Burnswasawakeandseemedtohaveamindtocomeupondeck。 \"Idon’tknowhowtopreventhim,sir。Ican’tverywellstopdownbelowallthetime。\" Itwasclearthathecouldn’t。AndsureenoughMr。Burnscameondeckdragginghimselfpainfullyaftinhisenormousovercoat。Ibeheldhimwithanaturaldread。TohavehimaroundandravingaboutthewilesofadeadmanwhileIhadtosteerawildlyrushingshipfullofdyingmenwasaratherdreadfulprospect。 Buthisfirstremarkswerequitesensibleinmean- ingandtone。Apparentlyhehadnorecollectionofthenightscene。Andifhehadhedidn’tbetrayhimselfonce。Neitherdidhetalkverymuch。Hesatontheskylightlookingdesperatelyillatfirst,butthatstrongbreeze,beforewhichthelastrem- nantofmycrewhadwilteddown,seemedtoblowafreshstockofvigourintohisframewitheverygust。 Onecouldalmostseetheprocess。 BywayofsanitytestIalludedonpurposetothelatecaptain。IwasdelightedtofindthatMr。 Burnsdidnotdisplayundueinterestinthesub- ject。Heranovertheoldtaleofthatsavageruffian’siniquitieswithacertainvindictivegustoandthenconcludedunexpectedly: \"Idobelieve,sir,thathisbrainbegantogoayearormorebeforehedied。\" Awonderfulrecovery。Icouldhardlyspareitasmuchadmirationasitdeserved,forIhadtogiveallmymindtothesteering。 Incomparisonwiththehopelesslanguouroftheprecedingdaysthiswasdizzyspeed。Tworidgesoffoamstreamedfromtheship’sbows;thewindsanginastrenuousnotewhichunderothercir- cumstanceswouldhaveexpressedtomeallthejoyoflife。Wheneverthehauled-upmainsailstartedtryingtoslatandbangitselftopiecesinitsgear,Mr。Burnswouldlookatmeapprehensively。 \"Whatwouldyouhavemetodo,Mr。Burns? Wecanneitherfurlitnorsetit。Ionlywishtheoldthingwouldthrashitselftopiecesandbedonewithit。Thatbeastlyracketconfusesme。\" Mr。Burnswrunghishands,andcriedoutsud- denly: \"Howwillyougettheshipintoharbour,sir,withoutmentohandleher?\" AndIcouldn’ttellhim。 Well——itdidgetdoneaboutfortyhoursafter- ward。BytheexorcisingvirtueofMr。Burns’ awfullaugh,themaliciousspectrehadbeenlaid,theevilspellbroken,thecurseremoved。WewerenowinthehandsofakindandenergeticProvi- dence。Itwasrushinguson…… Ishallneverforgetthelastnight,dark,windy,andstarry。Isteered。Mr。Burns,afterhavingobtainedfrommeasolemnpromisetogivehimakickifanythinghappened,wentfranklytosleeponthedeckclosetothebinnacle。Convalescentsneedsleep。Ransome,hisbackproppedagainstthemizzen-mastandablanketoverhislegs,re- mainedperfectlystill,butIdon’tsupposeheclosedhiseyesforamoment。Thatembodimentofjauntiness,Frenchy,stillunderthedelusionthattherewasa\"jump\"leftinhim,hadinsistedonjoiningus;butmindfulofdiscipline,hadlaidhim- selfdownasfarontheforepartofthepoopashecouldget,alongsidethebucket-rack。 AndIsteered,tootiredforanxiety,tootiredforconnectedthought。Ihadmomentsofgrimex- ultationandthenmyheartwouldsinkawfullyatthethoughtofthatforecastleattheotherendofthedarkdeck,fulloffever-strickenmen——someofthemdying。Bymyfault。Butnevermind。 Remorsemustwait。Ihadtosteer。 Inthesmallhoursthebreezeweakened,thenfailedaltogether。Aboutfiveitreturned,gentleenough,enablingustoheadfortheroadstead。 DaybreakfoundMr。Burnssittingwedgedupwithcoilsofropeonthestern-grating,andfromthedepthsofhisovercoatsteeringtheshipwithverywhitebonyhands;whileRansomeandIrushedalongthedeckslettinggoallthesheetsandhal- liardsbytherun。Wedashednextupontotheforecastlehead。Theperspirationoflabourandsheernervousnesssimplypouredoffourheadsaswetoiledtogettheanchorscock-billed。IdarednotlookatRansomeasweworkedsidebyside。 Weexchangedcurtwords;IcouldhearhimpantingclosetomeandIavoidedturningmyeyeshiswayforfearofseeinghimfalldownandexpireintheactofputtingforthhisstrength——forwhat?In- deedforsomedistinctideal。 Theconsummateseamaninhimwasaroused。 Heneedednodirections。Heknewwhattodo。 Everyeffort,everymovementwasanactofcon- sistentheroism。Itwasnotformetolookatamanthusinspired。 AtlastallwasreadyandIheardhimsay: \"Hadn’tIbettergodownandopenthecompressorsnow,sir?\" \"Yes。Do,\"Isaid。 AndeventhenIdidnotglancehisway。Afteratimehisvoicecameupfromthemaindeck。 \"Whenyoulike,sir。Allclearonthewindlasshere。\" ImadeasigntoMr。Burnstoputthehelmdownandletbothanchorsgooneafteranother,leavingtheshiptotakeasmuchcableasshewanted。Shetookthebestpartofthembothbe- foreshebroughtup。Theloosesailscomingabackceasedtheirmaddeningracketabovemyhead。A perfectstillnessreignedintheship。AndwhileI stoodforwardfeelingalittlegiddyinthatsuddenpeace,Icaughtfaintlyamoanortwoandthein- coherentmutteringsofthesickintheforecastle。 Aswehadasignalformedicalassistanceflyingonthemizzenitisafactthatbeforetheshipwasfairlyatrestthreesteamlaunchesfromvariousmen-of-warwerealongside;andatleastfivenavalsurgeonshadclamberedonboard。Theystoodinaknotgazingupanddowntheemptymaindeck,thenlookedaloft——wherenotamancouldbeseen,either。 Iwenttowardthem——asolitaryfigure,inablueandgraystripedsleepingsuitandapipe-clayedcorkhelmetonitshead。Theirdisgustwasextreme。 Theyhadexpectedsurgicalcases。Eachonehadbroughthiscarvingtoolswithhim。Buttheysoongotovertheirlittledisappointment。Inlessthanfiveminutesoneofthesteamlauncheswasrushingshorewardtoorderabigboatandsomehospitalpeoplefortheremovalofthecrew。Thebigsteampinnacewentofftohershiptobringoverafewbluejacketstofurlmysailsforme。 Oneofthesurgeonshadremainedonboard。Hecameoutoftheforecastlelookingimpenetrable,andnoticedmyinquiringgaze。 \"There’snobodydeadinthere,ifthat’swhatyouwanttoknow,\"hesaiddeliberately。Thenaddedinatoneofwonder:\"Thewholecrew!\" \"Andverybad?\" \"Andverybad,\"herepeated。Hiseyeswereroamingallovertheship。\"Heavens!What’sthat?\" \"That,\"Isaid,glancingaft,\"isMr。Burns,mychiefofficer。\" Mr。Burnswithhismoribundheadnoddingonthestalkofhisleanneckwasasightforanyonetoexclaimat。Thesurgeonasked: \"Ishegoingtothehospital,too?\" \"Oh,no,\"Isaidjocosely。\"Mr。Burnscan’tgoonshoretillthemainmastgoes。Iamveryproudofhim。He’smyonlyconvalescent。\" \"Youlook——\"beganthedoctorstaringatme。 ButIinterruptedhimangrily: \"Iamnotill。\" \"No……Youlookqueer。\" \"Well,yousee,Ihavebeenseventeendaysondeck。\" \"Seventeen!……Butyoumusthaveslept。\" \"IsupposeImusthave。Idon’tknow。ButI’mcertainthatIdidn’tsleepforthelastfortyhours。\" \"Phew!……YouwillbegoingashorepresentlyIsuppose?\" \"AssoonaseverIcan。There’snoendofbusinesswaitingformethere。\" Thesurgeonreleasedmyhand,whichhehadtakenwhilewetalked,pulledouthispocket-book,wroteinitrapidly,toreoutthepageandofferedittome。 \"Istronglyadviseyoutogetthisprescriptionmadeupforyourselfashore。UnlessIammuchmistakenyouwillneeditthisevening。\" \"Whatisit,then?\"Iaskedwithsuspicion。 \"Sleepingdraught,\"answeredthesurgeoncurtly;andmovingwithanairofinteresttowardMr。Burnsheengagedhiminconversation。 AsIwentbelowtodresstogoashore,Ransomefollowedme。Hebeggedmypardon;hewished,too,tobesentashoreandpaidoff。 Ilookedathiminsurprise。Hewaswaitingformyanswerwithanairofanxiety。 \"Youdon’tmeantoleavetheship!\"Icriedout。 \"Idoreally,sir。Iwanttogoandbequietsome- where。Anywhere。Thehospitalwilldo。\" \"But,Ransome,\"Isaid。\"Ihatetheideaofpartingwithyou。\" \"Imustgo,\"hebrokein。\"Ihavearight!\"……Hegaspedandalookofalmostsavagede- terminationpassedoverhisface。Foraninstanthewasanotherbeing。AndIsawundertheworthandthecomelinessofthemanthehumblerealityofthings。Lifewasaboontohim——thisprecarioushardlife,andhewasthoroughlyalarmedabouthimself。 \"OfcourseIshallpayyouoffifyouwishit,\"I hastenedtosay。\"OnlyImustaskyoutoremainonboardtillthisafternoon。Ican’tleaveMr。 Burnsabsolutelybyhimselfintheshipforhours。\" Hesoftenedatonceandassuredmewithasmileandinhisnaturalpleasantvoicethatheunder- stoodthatverywell。 WhenIreturnedondeckeverythingwasreadyfortheremovalofthemen。Itwasthelastordealofthatepisodewhichhadbeenmaturingandtem- peringmycharacter——thoughIdidnotknowit。 Itwasawful。Theypassedundermyeyesoneafteranother——eachofthemanembodiedreproachofthebitterestkind,tillIfeltasortofrevoltwakeupinme。PoorFrenchyhadgonesuddenlyunder。 Hewascarriedpastmeinsensible,hiscomicfacehorriblyflushedandasifswollen,breathingstertorously。HelookedmorelikeMr。Punchthanever;adisgracefullyintoxicatedMr。Punch。 TheaustereGambril,onthecontrary,hadim- provedtemporarily。Heinsistedonwalkingonhisownfeettotherail——ofcoursewithassistanceoneachsideofhim。Buthegavewaytoasuddenpanicatthemomentofbeingswungoverthesideandbegantowailpitifully: \"Don’tletthemdropme,sir。Don’tletthemdropme,sir!\"WhileIkeptonshoutingtohiminmostsoothingaccents:\"Allright,Gambril。 Theywon’t!Theywon’t!\" Itwasnodoubtveryridiculous。Theblue- jacketsonourdeckweregrinningquietly,whileevenRansomehimself(muchtotheforeinlendingahand)hadtoenlargehiswistfulsmileforafleet- ingmoment。 Ileftfortheshoreinthesteampinnace,andonlookingbackbeheldMr。Burnsactuallystandingupbythetaffrail,stillinhisenormouswoollyover- coat。Thebrightsunlightbroughtouthisweird- nessamazingly。Helookedlikeafrightfulandelaboratescarecrowsetuponthepoopofadeath- strickenship,setuptokeeptheseabirdsfromthecorpses。 Ourstoryhadgotaboutalreadyintownandeverybodyonshorewasmostkind。TheMarineOfficeletmeofftheportdues,andastherehap- penedtobeashipwreckedcrewstayingintheHomeIhadnodifficultyinobtainingasmanymenasIwanted。ButwhenIinquiredifIcouldseeCaptainEllisforamomentIwastoldinaccentsofpityformyignorancethatourdeputy-NeptunehadretiredandgonehomeonapensionaboutthreeweeksafterIlefttheport。SoIsupposethatmyappointmentwasthelastact,outsidethedailyroutine,ofhisofficiallife。 ItisstrangehowoncomingashoreIwasstruckbythespringystep,thelivelyeyes,thestrongvitalityofeveryoneImet。Itimpressedmeenormously。AndamongstthoseImettherewasCaptainGiles,ofcourse。ItwouldhavebeenveryextraordinaryifIhadnotmethim。Aprolongedstrollinthebusinesspartofthetownwastheregularemploymentofallhismorningswhenhewasashore。 Icaughttheglitterofthegoldwatch-chainacrosshischesteversofaraway。Heradiatedbenevolence。 \"WhatisitIhear?\"hequeriedwitha\"kinduncle\"smile,aftershakinghands。\"Twenty-onedaysfromBangkok?\" \"Isthisallyou’veheard?\"Isaid。\"Youmustcometotiffinwithme。Iwantyoutoknowex- actlywhatyouhaveletmeinfor。\" Hehesitatedforalmostaminute。 \"Well——Iwill,\"hesaidcondescendinglyatlast。 Weturnedintothehotel。Ifoundtomysur- prisethatIcouldeatquitealot。Thenovertheclearedtable-clothIunfoldedtoCaptainGilesthehistoryofthesetwentydaysinallitsprofessionalandemotionalaspects,whilehesmokedpatientlythebigcigarIhadgivenhim。 Thenheobservedsagely: \"Youmustfeeljollywelltiredbythistime。\" \"No,\"Isaid。\"Nottired。ButI’lltellyou,CaptainGiles,howIfeel。Ifeelold。AndImustbe。Allofyouonshorelooktomejustalotofskittishyoungstersthathaveneverknownacareintheworld。\" Hedidn’tsmile。Helookedinsufferablyex- emplary。Hedeclared: \"Thatwillpass。Butyoudolookolder——it’safact。\" \"Aha!\"Isaid。 \"No!No!Thetruthisthatonemustnotmaketoomuchofanythinginlife,goodorbad。\" \"Liveathalf-speed,\"Imurmuredperversely。 \"Noteverybodycandothat。\" \"You’llbegladenoughpresentlyifyoucankeepgoingevenatthatrate,\"heretortedwithhisairofconsciousvirtue。\"Andthere’sanotherthing:amanshouldstanduptohisbadluck,tohismis- takes,tohisconscienceandallthatsortofthing。 Why——whatelsewouldyouhavetofightagainst。\" Ikeptsilent。Idon’tknowwhathesawinmyfacebutheaskedabruptly: \"Why——youaren’tfaint-hearted?\" \"Godonlyknows,CaptainGiles,\"wasmysin- cereanswer。 \"That’sallright,\"hesaidcalmly。\"Youwilllearnsoonhownottobefaint-hearted。Amanhasgottolearneverything——andthat’swhatsomanyofthemyoungstersdon’tunderstand。\" \"Well,Iamnolongerayoungster。\" \"No,\"heconceded。\"Areyouleavingsoon?\" \"Iamgoingonboarddirectly,\"Isaid。\"Ishallpickuponeofmyanchorsandheaveintohalf- cableontheotherdirectlymynewcrewcomesonboardandIshallbeoffatdaylightto-morrow!\" \"Youwill,\"gruntedCaptainGilesapprovingly。 \"that’stheway。You’lldo。\" \"Whatdidyouthink?ThatIwouldwanttotakeaweekashoreforarest?\"Isaid,irritatedbyhistone。\"There’snorestformetillshe’soutintheIndianOceanandnotmuchofiteventhen。\" Hepuffedathiscigarmoodily,asiftransformed。 \"Yes。That’swhatitamountsto,\"hesaidinamusingtone。ItwasasifaponderouscurtainhadrolledupdisclosinganunexpectedCaptainGiles。 Butitwasonlyforamoment,justthetimetolethimadd,\"Preciouslittlerestinlifeforanybody。 Betternotthinkofit。\" Werose,leftthehotel,andpartedfromeachotherinthestreetwithawarmhandshake,justashebegantointerestmeforthefirsttimeinourintercourse。 ThefirstthingIsawwhenIgotbacktotheshipwasRansomeonthequarter-decksittingquietlyonhisneatlylashedsea-chest。 IbeckonedhimtofollowmeintothesaloonwhereIsatdowntowritealetterofrecommenda- tionforhimtoamanIknewonshore。 WhenfinishedIpusheditacrossthetable。\"Itmaybeofsomegoodtoyouwhenyouleavethehospital。\" Hetookit,putitinhispocket。Hiseyeswerelookingawayfromme——nowhere。Hisfacewasanxiouslyset。 \"Howareyoufeelingnow?\"Iasked。 \"Idon’tfeelbadnow,sir,\"heansweredstiffly。 \"ButIamafraidofitscomingon……\"Thewistfulsmilecamebackonhislipsforamo- ment。\"I——Iaminabluefunkaboutmyheart,sir。\" Iapproachedhimwithextendedhand。Hiseyesnotlookingatmehadastrainedexpres- sion。Hewaslikeamanlisteningforawarningcall。 \"Won’tyoushakehands,Ransome?\"Isaidgently。 Heexclaimed,flushedupduskyred,gavemyhandahardwrench——andnextmoment,leftaloneinthecabin,Ilistenedtohimgoingupthecom- panionstairscautiously,stepbystep,inmortalfearofstartingintosuddenangerourcommonenemyitwashishardfatetocarryconsciouslywithinhisfaithfulbreast。