第5章

P。S。——WhichthissameinterferingIntootherfolks’wayIdespise； YetifitsobeIwashearingThatit’sjustemptypocketsasliesBetwixtyouandJoseph，itfollersThat，havingnofamilyclaims，Here’smypile，whichit’ssixhundreddollars，AsisYOURS，withrespects，TRUTHFULJAMES。 \"THERETURNOFBELISARIUS\" （MUDFLAT，1860） Soyou’rebackfromyourtravels，oldfellow，Andyouleftbutatwelvemonthago； You’vehobnobbedwithLouisNapoleon，Eugenie，andkissedthePope’stoe。 ByJove，itisperfectlystunning，Astounding，——andallthat，youknow； Yes，thingsareaboutasyouleftthemInMudFlatatwelvemonthago。 Theboys！——they’reallright，——Oh！DickAshley，He’sburiedsomewhereinthesnow； HewaslostontheSummitlastwinter，AndBobhasahardrowtohoe。 Youknowthathe’sgottheconsumption？ Youdidn’t！Well，come，that’sago； IcertainlywroteyouatBaden，—— Dearme！thatwassixmonthsago。 Igotallyouroutlandishletters，AllstampedbysomeforeignP。O。 IhandedmyselftoMissMaryThatsketchofafamouschateau。 TomSaundersislivingat’Frisco，—— Theysaythathecutsquiteashow。 Youdidn’tmeetEuchre-deckBillyAnywhereonyourroadtoCairo？ Soyouthoughtoftherustyoldcabin，Thepines，andthevalleybelow，AndheardtheNorthForkoftheYubaAsyoustoodonthebanksofthePo？ ’Twasjustlikeyourromance，oldfellow； ButnowthereisstandingarowOfstoresonthesiteofthecabinThatyoulivedinatwelvemonthago。 Butit’sjollytoseeyou，oldfellow，—— Tothinkit’satwelvemonthago！ AndyouhaveseenLouisNapoleon，AndlooklikeaJohnnyCrapaud。 Comein。YouwillsurelyseeMary，—— Youknowwearemarried。What，no？ Oh，ay！IforgottherewassomethingBetweenyouatwelvemonthago。 FURTHERLANGUAGEFROMTRUTHFULJAMES （NYE’SFORD，STANISLAUS，1870） DoIsleep？doIdream？ DoIwonderanddoubt？ Arethingswhattheyseem？ Orisvisionsabout？ Isourcivilizationafailure？ OristheCaucasianplayedout？ Whichexpressionsarestrong； YetwouldfeeblyimplySomeaccountofawrong—— Nottocallitalie—— AswasworkedoffonWilliam，mypardner，AndthesamebeingW。Nye。 HecamedowntotheFordOntheverysamedayOfthatlotterydrawedBythosesharpsattheBay； Andhesaystome，\"Truthful，howgoesit？\" Ireplied，\"Itisfar，farfromgay； \"ForthecamphasgonewildOnthislotterygame，Andhasevenbeguiled’InjinDick’bythesame。\" ThensaidNyetome，\"Injinsispizen： Butwhatishisnumber，eh，James？\" Ireplied，\"7，2，9，8，4，ishishand；\" Whenhestarted，anddrewOutalist，whichhescanned； ThenhesoftlywentforhisrevolverWithlanguageIcannotcommand。 ThenIsaid，\"WilliamNye！\" Butheturneduponme，AndthelookinhiseyeWasquitepainfultosee； Andhesays，\"Youmistake；thispoorInjinIprotectsfromsuchsharpsasYOUbe！\" Iwasshockedandwithdrew； ButIgrievetorelate，WhenhenextmetmyviewInjinDickwashismate； Andthetwoaroundtownwasa-lyingInafrightfullydissolutestate。 WhichthewardancetheyhadRoundatreeattheBendWasasightthatwassad； AnditseemedthattheendWouldnotjustifytheproceedings，AsIquietremarkedtoafriend。 ForthatInjinhefledThenextdaytohisband； AndwefoundWilliamspreadVerylooseonthestrand，Withapeaceful-likesmileonhisfeatures，Andadollargreenbackinhishand； Whichthesame，whenrolledout，Weobserved，withsurprise，Waswhathe，nodoubt，Thoughtthenumberandprize—— Themfiguresinredinthecorner，Whichthenumberofnotesspecifies。 Wasitguile，oradream？ IsitNyethatIdoubt？ Arethingswhattheyseem？ Orisvisionsabout？ Isourcivilizationafailure？ OristheCaucasianplayedout？ AFTERTHEACCIDENT （MOUTHOFTHESHAFT） WhatIwantismyhusband，sir，—— Andifyou’reaman，sir，You’llgivemeananswer，—— WhereismyJoe？ Penrhyn，sir，Joe，—— Caernarvonshire。 SixmonthsagoSincewecamehere—— Eh？——Ah，youknow！ Well，IamquietAndstill，ButImuststandhere，Andwill！ Please，I’llbestrong，Ifyou’lljustletmewaitInsideo’thatgateTillthenewscomesalong。 \"Negligence！\"—— Thatwasthecause！—— Butchery！ Aretherenolaws，—— Lawstoprotectsuchaswe？ Well，then！ Iwon’traisemyvoice。 There，men！ Iwon’tmakenonoise，Onlyyoujustletmebe。 Four，onlyfour——didhesay—— Saved！andtheotherones？——Eh？ Whydotheycall？ WhyaretheyallLookingandcomingthisway？ What’sthat？——amessage？ I’lltakeit。 Iknowhiswife，sir，I’llbreakit。 \"Foreman！\" Ay，ay！ \"Outbyandby，—— Justsavedhislife。 SaytohiswifeSoonhe’llbefree。\" WillI？——Godblessyou！ It’sme！ THEGHOSTTHATJIMSAW Why，astothat，saidtheengineer，Ghostsain’tthingsweareapttofear； Spiritsdon’tfoolwithleversmuch，Andthrottle-valvesdon’ttaketosuch； AndasforJim，WhathappenedtohimWasonehalffact，andt’otherhalfwhim！ Runningonenightontheline，hesawAhouse——asplainasthemorallaw—— Justbythemoonlitbank，andthenceCameadrunkenmanwithnomoresenseThantodropontherailFlatasaflail，AsJimdrovebywiththemidnightmail。 Downwentthepatents——steamreversed。 Toolate！fortherecamea\"thud。\"JimcursedAsthefireman，thereinthecabwithhim，KinderstaredinthefaceofJim，Andsays，\"Whatnow？\" SaysJim，\"Whatnow！ I’vejustrunoveraman，——that’show！\" ThefiremanstaredatJim。TheyranBack，buttheyneverfoundhousenorman，—— Naryashadowwithinamile。 Jimturnedpale，buthetriedtosmile，ThenonhetoreTenmileormore，Inquickertimethanhe’dmadeafore。 Wouldyoubelieveit！theverynextnightUprosethathouseinthemoonlightwhite，Outcomesthechapanddropsasbefore，Downgoesthebrakeandtherestencore； Andso，infact，EachnightthatactOccurred，tillfolkssworeJimwascracked。 Humph！letmesee；it’sayearnow，’most，ThatImetJim，East，andsays，\"How’syourghost？\" \"Gone，\"saysJim；\"andmore，it’splainThatghostdon’ttroublemeagain。 IthoughtIshookThatghostwhenItookAplaceonanEasternline，——butlook！ \"WhatshouldImeet，thefirsttripout，Buttheveryhousewetalkedabout，Andtheselfsameman！’Well，’saysI，’IguessIt’stimetostopthis’yerfoolishness。’ SoIcrammedonsteam，WhentherecameascreamFrommyfireman，thatjestbrokemydream： \"’You’vekilledsomebody！’SaysI，’Notmuch！ I’vebeentharoften，andtharain’tnosuch，AndnowI’llproveit！’Backweran，And——darnmyskin！——buttharWASamanOntherail，dead，Smashedinthehead！—— NowIcallthatmeanness！\"That’sallJimsaid。 \"SEVENTY-NINE\" （MR。INTERVIEWERINTERVIEWED） Knowmenexttimewhenyouseeme，won’tyou，oldsmarty？ Oh，ImeanYOU，oldfigger-head，——justthesameparty！ Takeoutyourpensivil，d——nyou；sharpenit，do！ Anycomplaintstomake？Lotsof’em——oneof’em’sYOU。 You！whoareYOU，anyhow，goin’roundinthatsneakin’way？ Neverinjailbefore，wasyou，oldblatherskite，say？ Lookatit；don’titlookpooty？Oh，grin，andbed——dtoyou，do！ ButifIhadyouthissideo’thatgratin，’I’djustmakeitlivelyforyou。 HowdidIgetinhere？Wellwhat’udyougivetoknow？ ’Twasn’tbysneakin’roundwhereIhadn’tnocalltogo； ’Twasn’tbyhangin’rounda-spyin’unfortnetmen。 Grin！butI’llstopyourjawifeveryoudothatagen。 Whydon’tyousaysuthin，blastyou？Speakyourmindifyoudare。 Ain’tIabadlot，sonny？Sayit，andcallitsquare。 Hain’tgotnotongue，hey，hevye？Oh，guard！here’salittleswellAcussin’andswearin’andyellin’，andbribin’menottotell。 There！Ithoughtthat’udfetchye！Andyouwanttoknowmyname？ \"Seventy-nine\"theycallme，butthatistheirlittlegame； ForI’mwerryhighlyconnected，asagent，sir，canunderstand，Andmyfamilyholdtheirheadsupwiththeveryfurstintheland。 For’twasall，sir，aput-upjobonaporeyoungmanlikeme； Andthejurywasbribedapuppos，andatfursttheycouldn’tagree； AndIsedtothejudge，sezI，——Oh，grin！it’sallright，myson！ Butyou’reawerrylivelyyoungpup，andyouain’ttobeplayedupon！ Wot’sthatyougot？——tobacco？I’mcussedbutIthought’twasatract。 Thankye！Achapt’otherday——now，lookee，thisisafact—— Slingsmeatractontheevilso’keepin’badcompany，Asifallthesaintswashowlin’tostayherealongo’we。 No，Ihain’tnocomplaints。Stop，yes；doyouseethatchap，—— Himstandin’overthere，a-hidin’hiseyesinhiscap？ Well，thatman’sstumickisweak，andhecan’tstandthepris’nfare； Forthecoffeeisjusthalfbeans，andthesugaritain’tnowhere。 Perhapsit’shisbringin’up；buthe’ssickenin’daybyday，Andhedoesn’ttakenofood，andI’mseein’himwasteaway。 Anditisn’tthethingtosee；for，whateverhe’sbeenanddone，Starvationisn’ttheplanashe’stobesavedupon。 Forhecannotroughitlikeme；andhehasn’tthestamps，Iguess，Tobuyhimhisextrygruboutsideo’thepris’nmess。 Andperhapsifagentlikeyou，withwhomI’vebeensorterfree，Would——thankyou！But，say！lookhere！Oh，blastit！don’tgiveittoME！ Don’tyougiveittome；now，don’tye，don’tye，DON’T！ Youthinkit’saput-upjob；soI’llthankye，sir，ifyouwon’t。 Buthandhimthestampsyourself：why，heisn’tevenmypal； And，ifit’sacomforttoyou，why，Idon’tintendthatheshall。 THESTAGE-DRIVER’SSTORY Itwasthestage-driver’sstory，ashestoodwithhisbacktothewheelers，Quietlyfleckinghiswhip，andturninghisquidoftobacco； Whileonthedustyroad，andblentwiththeraysofthemoonlight，Wesawthelongcurlofhislashandthejuiceoftobaccodescending。 \"Danger！Sir，Ibelieveyou，——indeed，Imaysay，onthatsubject，Youyourexistencemightputtothehazardandturnofawager。 Ihaveseendanger？Oh，no！notme，sir，indeed，Iassureyou： ’Twasonlythemanwiththedogthatissittingaloneinyonwagon。 \"ItwastheGeigerGrade，amileandahalffromthesummit： Blackasyourhatwasthenight，andneverastarintheheavens。 Thunderingdownthegrade，thegravelandstoneswesentflyingOvertheprecipiceside，——athousandfeetplumbtothebottom。 \"Half-waydownthegradeIfelt，sir，athrillingandcreaking，Thenalurchtooneside，aswehungonthebankofthecanyon； Then，lookinguptheroad，Isaw，inthedistancebehindme，Theoffhindwheelofthecoach，justloosedfromitsaxle，andfollowing。 \"OneglancealoneIgave，thengatheredtogethermyribbons，Shouted，andflungthem，outspread，onthestrainingnecksofmycattle； Screamedatthetopofmyvoice，andlashedtheairinmyfrenzy，WhiledowntheGeigerGrade，onTHREEwheels，thevehiclethundered。 \"Speedwasouronlychance，whenagaincametheominousrattle： Crack，andanotherwheelslippedaway，andwaslostinthedarkness。 TWOonlynowwereleft；yetsuchwasourfearfulmomentum，Upright，erect，andsustainedonTWOwheels，thevehiclethundered。 \"Assomehugeboulder，unloosedfromitsrockyshelfonthemountain，Drivesbeforeitthehareandthetimoroussquirrel，farleaping，SodowntheGeigerGraderushedthePioneercoach，andbeforeitLeapedthewildhorses，andshriekedinadvanceofthedangerimpending。 \"Buttobebriefinmytale。Again，erewecametothelevel，Slippedfromitsaxleawheel；sothat，tobeplaininmystatement，Amatteroftwelvehundredyardsormore，asthedistancemaybe，WetraveleduponONEwheel，untilwedroveuptothestation。 \"Then，sir，wesankinaheap；but，pickingmyselffromtheruins，Iheardanoiseupthegrade；andlooking，IsawinthedistanceThethreewheelsfollowingstill，likemoonsonthehorizonwhirling，Till，circling，theygracefullysankontheroadatthesideofthestation。 \"Thisismystory，sir；atrifle，indeed，Iassureyou。 Muchmore，perchance，mightbesaid——butIholdhimofallmenmostlightlyWhoswervesfromthetruthinhistale。No，thankyou——Well，sinceyouAREpressing，PerhapsIdon’tcareifIdo：youmaygivemethesame，Jim，——nosugar。\" AQUESTIONOFPRIVILEGE REPORTEDBYTRUTHFULJAMES ItwasAndrewJacksonSutterwho，despisingMr。Cutterforremarksheheardhimutterindebateuponthefloor，Swunghimupintotheskylight，inthepeaceful，pensivetwilight，andthenkeerlesslyproceeded，makin’noaccountwhatWEdid—— Towipeupwithhispersoncasualdustuponthefloor。 Nowasquarefightneverfretsme，norunpleasantnessupsetsme，butthesimplethingthatgetsme——nowthejobisdoneandgone，Andwe’vecomehomefreeandmerryfromthepeacefulcemetery，leavin’CuttertherewithSutter——thatmebbeejustastutterOnthepartofMr。Cuttercausedthelosswedeeplymourn。 Somebashfulhesitation，justlikespellin’punctooation——mighthaveworkedanaggravationontoSutter’smournfulmind，Forthewitnessesallvaryeztowotwassaidandnaryagalootwilltoothishornexceptthewayheisinclined。 ButtheyallallowthatSutterhadbegunakindofmutter，whenuproseMr。Cutterwithasickeningkindofease，Andproceededthentowadeintothesubjectthenprevadin’：\"IsProfanitydegradin’？\"inwordslikeuntothese： \"Onlikethepreviousspeaker，Mr。SutterofYreka，hewasbutahumbleseeker——andnotlikehim——acuss\"—— ItwasherethatMr。SuttersoftlyreachedforMr。Cutter，whenthelatterwithastuttersaid：\"ac-customedtodiscuss。\" ThenSutterherosegrimly，andsortersmilin’dimlybowedontotheChairmanprimly——（justlikeCutterezcouldbe！） Drawled\"heguessedhemustfall——back——as——Mr。Cutterownedthepack——as——hejusthadplayedthe——Jack——as——\"（hereCutter’sgunwentcrack！asMr。Suttergaspedandended）\"everymancansee！\" ButWilliamHenryPryor——justinrangeofSutter’sfire——hereevincedawilddesiretodosomebodyharm，AndinthegeneralscrimmagenoonethoughtifSutter’s\"image\"wasamisplacedpunctooation——liketheholeinPryor’sarm。 Forweallwaltzedintogether，nevercarin’toaskwhetheritwasSutterorwasCutterwewoztryin’toabate。 Butwecouldn’thelpperceivin’，whenwetooktoinkstandheavin’，thattheprocesswasrelievin’tothesharpnessofdebate，Sowe’vecomehomefreeandmerryfromthepeacefulcemetery，andI makenocommentaryonthesesimplechildishgames； Thingsisvariousandhuman——andthemanain’tbornofwomanwhoisfreetointermeddlewithhispal’sintentsandaims。 THETHOUGHT-READEROFANGELS REPORTEDBYTRUTHFULJAMES WehevtumbledezdustOrezwormsoftheyearth； Wotwelookedforhezbust！ Weareobjectsofmirth！ Theyhaveplayedus——oldPardsoftheriver！——theyhevplayedusforallwewasworth！ WasiteuchreordrawCutusoffinourbloom？ Wasitfaro，whoselawIsuncertainezdoom？ Oraninnocent\"Jackpot\"that——opened——wastousezthejawsofthetomb？ Itwasnary！ItkemWithsomesharpsfromtheStates。 Ezfolkssez，\"AllthingskemTothefellersezwaits；\" Andwe’dwaitedsixmonthsforthatsuthin’——hadmeandBillNye——insuchstraits！ Anditkem。Itwassmall； Itwasdream-likeandweak； Itworestoreclothes——that’sallThatweknew，sotospeak； Butitcalleditself\"Billson，Thought-Reader\"——whichain’thalfanameforitscheek！ Hecouldreadwotyouthought，Andheknewwotyoudid； Hecouldfindthingsuntaught，Nomatterwharhid； Andhewenttoit，blindfoldandsmiling，beingledbythehandlikeakid！ ThenIglancedatBillNye，AndIsez，withoutpride，\"You’llexcuseUS。We’venighOntonothin’tohide； Butifsomegentwilllendusatwenty，we’llhideitwharfolksshalldecide。\" ItwasBillson’sownselfWhoforkedoverthegold，Withasmile。\"Thar’sthepelf，\" Heremarked。\"ImakeboldToadvanceit，andgotwentybetterthatI’llfinditwithoutbeingtold。\" ThenIpassedittoNye，Whorepassedittome。 AndwebandagedeacheyeOfthatBillson——ezweSoftlydroppedthatcoininhiscoatpocket，ezthehullcrowdarounduscouldsee。 Thatwasall。He’donehandLockedinmine。Thenhegroped。 WecouldnotunderstandWhythatminitNyesloped，Forweknewwe’dthedeadthingonBillson——evenmorethanwedreamedoforhoped。 ForhestoodtharindoubtWithhishandtohishead； Thenheturned，andlitoutThroughthedoorwhereNyefled，Draggin’meandtherestofusarter，whilewelarfedtillwethoughtwewasdead，TillheovertookNyeAndwentthroughhim。WordsfailForwhatfollers！KinI PaintouragonizedwailEzhedrewfromNye’spocketthattwentywotweswornwasinhisowncoat-tail！ AnditWAS！But，whenfound，Itprovedbogusandbrass！ AndthequestiongoesroundHowthethingkemtopass？ Or，ifPASSED，wozitpassedtharbyWilliam；andIlistens，andechoes\"Alas！ \"ForthedayswhentheskillOfthekeerdswasnoblind，WhennoeffortofwillCouldbeatfourofakind，Whenthethingwotyouheldinyourhand，Pard，wasworthmorethanthethinginyourmind。\" THESPELLINGBEEATANGELS （REPORTEDBYTRUTHFULJAMES） Waltzin，waltzin，yelittlekids，andgatherroundmyknee，Anddropthembooksandfirstpot-hooks，andhearayarnfromme。 IkinnotslingafairytaleofJinnys*fierceandwild，ForIholditisunchristiantodeceiveasimplechild； Butasfromschoolyerdriftin’by，Ithowtye’dliketohearOfa\"SpellingBee\"atAngelsthatweorganizedlastyear。 Itwarn’tmadeupofgentlekids，ofprettykids，likeyou，Butgentsezhedtheirreg’largrowth，andsomeenoughfortwo。 TherewozLankyJimofSutter’sForkandBilsonofLagrange，And\"PistolBob，\"whoworethatdayaknifebywayofchange。 Youstart，youlittlekids，youthinkthesearenotprettynames，Buteachhadamanbehindit，and——mynameisTruthfulJames。 TherewasPokerDickfromWhiskyFlat，andSmithofShooter’sBend，AndBrownofCalaveras——whichIwantnobetterfriend； Three-fingeredJack——yes，prettydears，threefingers——YOUhavefive。 Clappcutofftwo——it’ssing’lar，too，thatClappain’tnowalive。 ’Twasverywrongindeed，mydears，andClappwasmuchtoblame； LikewisewasJack，inafter-years，forshootin’ofthatsame。 Thenightswaskinderlengthenin’out，therainshadjestbegun，WhenallthecampcameuptoPete’stohavetheirusualfun； Butweallsotkindersad-likearoundthebar-roomstoveTillSmithgotup，permiskiss-like，andthisremarkhehove： \"Thar’sanewgamedowninFrisco，thatezfarezIcanseeBeatseuchre，poker，andvan-toon，theycallsthe’Spellin’Bee。’\" ThenBrownofCalaverassimplyhitchedhischairandspake，\"Pokerisgoodenoughforme，\"andLankyJimsez，\"Shake！\" AndBoballowedhewarn’tproud，buthe\"mustsayrighttharThatthemanwhotackledeuchrehedhiseducationsquar。\" ThisbroughtupLennyFairchild，theschoolmaster，whosaidHeknewthegame，andhewouldgiveinstructionsonthathead。 \"Forinstance，takesomesimpleword，\"sezhe，\"like’separate：’ Nowwhocanspellit？\"Dogmyskin，eftharwasoneineight。 Thissettheboysallwildatonce。Thechairswasputinrow，AndattheheadwasLankyJim，andatthefootwasJoe，Andhighuponthebaritselftheschoolmasterwasraised，Andthebar-keepputhisglassesdown，andsatandsilentgazed。 Thefirstwordoutwas\"parallel，\"andsevenletitbe，TillJoewaltzedinhis\"doublel\"betwixtthe\"a\"and\"e；\" ForsincehedrilledthemMexicansinSanJacinto’sfightTharwarn’tnoproudermangotupthanPistolJoethatnight—— Till\"rhythm\"came！Hetriedtosmile，thensaid\"theyhadhimthere，\" AndLankyJim，withonelongstride，gotupandtookhischair。 Olittlekids，myprettykids，’twastouchin’tosurveyThesebeardedmen，withweppingson，likeschoolboysattheirplay。 They’dlaughwithglee，andshouttoseeeachotherleadthevan，AndBobsatupasmonitorwithacueforarattan，TilltheChairgaveout\"incinerate，\"andBrownsaidhe’dbedurnedIfanysuchblamedwordasthatinschoolwaseverlearned。 When\"phthisis\"cametheyallsprangup，andvowedthemanwhorungAnotherblamedGreekwordonthembetakenoutandhung。 AstheysatdownagainIsawinBilson’seyeaflash，AndBrownofCalaveraswasa-twistin’hismustache，AndwhenatlastBrownslippedon\"gneiss，\"andBilsontookhischair，Hedroppedsomecasualwordsaboutsomefolkswhodyedtheirhair。 AndthentheChairgrewverywhite，andtheChairsaidhe’dadjourn，ButPokerDickremarkedthatHEwouldwaitandgethisturn； Thenwithatremblin’voiceandhand，andwithawanderin’eye，TheChairnextoffered\"eider-duck，\"andDickbeganwith\"I\"，AndBilsonsmiled——thenBilsonshrieked！JusthowthefightbegunIneverknowed，forBilsondropped，andDick，hemovedupone。 Thencertaingentsaroseandsaid\"they’dbusinessdownincamp，\" And\"eztheroadwasratherdark，andezthenightwasdamp，They’d\"——heregotupThree-fingeredJackandlockedthedoorandyelled： \"No，notonemother’ssongoesouttillthattharwordisspelled！\" Butwhilethewordswereonhislips，hegroanedandsankinpain，AndsankwithWebsteronhischestandWorcesteronhisbrain。 BelowthebardodgedPokerDick，andtriedtolookezheWashuntin’upauthoritiesthetnooneelsecouldsee； AndBrowngotdownbehindthestove，allowin’he\"wascold，\" Tillitupsotanddownhislegsthecindersfreelyrolled，Andseveralgentscalled\"Order！\"tillinhissimplewayPoorSmithbeganwith\"O-r\"——\"Or\"——andhewasdraggedaway。 Olittlekids，myprettykids，downonyourkneesandpray！ You’vegotyoureddicationinapeacefulsortofway； Andbearinmindtharmaybesharpsezslingstheirspellin’square，Butlikewiseslingstheirbowie-kniveswithoutathoughtorcare。 Youwantstoknowtherest，mydears？Thet’sall！InmeyouseeTheonlygentthatlivedtotellabouttheSpellin’Bee！ —————— Heceasedandpassed，thattruthfulman；thechildrenwenttheirwayWithdowncastheadsanddowncasthearts——butnottosportorplay。 Forwhenatevethelampswerelit，andsupperlesstobedEachchildwassent，withtasksundoneandlessonsallunsaid，Nomanmightknowtheawfulwoethatthrilledtheiryouthfulframes，AstheydreamedofAngelsSpellingBeeandthoughtofTruthfulJames。 *Qy。Genii。 ARTEMISINSIERRA DRAMATISPERSONAE Poet。Philosopher。JonesofMariposa。 POET Halt！Hereweare。NowwheelyourmareatrifleJustwhereyoustand；thendoffyourhatandswearNeveryetwassceneyoumightcoverwithyourrifleHalfascompleteorasmarvelouslyfair。 PHILOSOPHER DroppedfromOlympusorliftedoutofTempe，Swunglikeacenserbetwixttheearthandsky！ HewhoinGreecesangofflocksandflaxandhemp，——heHeremightrecallthem——sixthousandfeetonhigh！ POET Wellyoumaysayso。Theclamoroftheriver，Humofbasetoil，andman’signoblestrife，Haltfarbelow，wherethestiflingsunbeamsquiver，Butneverclimbtothispurer，higherlife！ Nottothisglade，whereJonesofMariposa，Simpleandmeekashisflockswe’relookingat，Tendshissoftcharge；norwherehisdaughterRosa—— （Ashot。） Hallo！What’sthat？ PHILOSOPHER A——somethingthro’myhat—— Bullet，Ithink。Youwerespeakingofhisdaughter？ POET Yes；but——yourhatyouweremovingthroughtheleaves； Likelyhethoughtitsomeeaglebentonslaughter。 Lightlyheshoots——（Asecondshot。） PHILOSOPHER Asonereadilyperceives。 Still，heimproves！ThistimeYOURhathasgotit，Quiteneartheband！Eh？Oh，justasyouplease—— Stop，orgoon。 POET Perhapswe’dbettertrotitDownthroughthehollow，andupamongthetrees。 BOTH Trot，trot，trot，wherethebulletscannotfollow； Trotdownandupagainamongthelaureltrees。 PHILOSOPHER Thanks，thatisbetter；nowofthisshot-dispensingJonesandhisgirl——youweresaying—— POET Well，yousee—— I——hangitall！——Oh！what’stheuseoffencing！ Sir，Iconfessit！——theseshotsweremeantforME。 PHILOSOPHER Areyoumad！ POET Godknows，Ishouldn’twonder！ Ilovethiscoynymph，who，coldly——asyonpeakShinesontheriveritfeeds，yetkeepsasunder—— LonghaveIworshiped，butneverdaredtospeak。 Tillshe，nodoubt，herlovenolongerhiding，Wakedbysomechancewordherfather’sjealousy； Slipsherdisdain——asanavalanchedownglidingSweepsflocksandkinaway——toclearapathforME。 Hencehisattack。 PHILOSOPHER Isee。WhatIadmireChiefly，Ithink，inyouridyl，sotospeak，Isthecoolmodestythatchecksyouryouthfulfire，—— Absenceofself-loveandabstinenceofcheek！ Still，Imightmention，I’vemetthegentleRosa，—— Dancedwithherthrice，toherfather’sjealousdread； And，itispossible，she’shappenedtodisclosea—— Ahem！YoucanfancywhyheshootsatMEinstead。 POET YOU？ PHILOSOPHER Me。Butkindlytakeyourhandfromyourrevolver，Iamnotcholeric——butaccidentsmaychance。 Andhere’sthefather，whoalonecanbethesolverOfthistwinriddleofthehatandtheromance。 EnterJONESOFMARIPOSA。 POET Speak，shepherd——mine！ PHILOSOPHER Hail！Time-and-cartridgewaster，Aimlessexploderoftheoriesandskill！ Whomdoyoushoot？ JONESOFMARIPOSA Well，shootin’ain’tmytaste，orEFIshootanything——Ionlyshoottokill。 Thatain’twhat’sup。Ionlykemtotellye—— Sportin’orcourtin’——trothomewardforyourlife！ Galswillbegals，andp’r’apsit’sjustezwellyeLarnedtherewasonehadnowishtobe——awife。 POET What？ PHILOSOPHER Isthistrue？ JONESOFMARIPOSA Ireckonitlookslikeit。 Shesawyecomin’。Mygunwasstandin’by； Shemadeagrab，and’foreIupcouldstrikeit，Blazedatyeboth！ThecritterisSOshy！ POET Who？ JONESOFMARIPOSA Mydarter！ PHILOSOPHER Rosa？ JONESOFMARIPOSA Same！Good-by！ JACKOFTHETULES （SOUTHERNCALIFORNIA） Shrewdlyyouquestion，Senor，andIfancyYouarenonovice。ConfessthattolittleOfmypoorgossipofMissionandPuebloYouareastranger！ AmInotright？Ah！believeme，thateverSincewejoinedcompanyattheposadaI’vewatchedyouclosely，and——pardonanoldpriest—— I’vecaughtyousmiling！ SmilingtohearanoldfellowlikemetalkGossipofpillageandrobbers，andevenAirhisopinionoflawandalcaldesLikeanyother！ Now！——bythattwistofthewristonthebridle，Bythatstraightlinefromtheheeltotheshoulder，Bythatcurtspeech，——nay！nay！nooffense，son，—— Youareasoldier？ No？Thenamanofaffairs？SanSebastian！ ’TwouldservemerightifIprattledthuswildlyTo——sayasheriff？No？——justcaballero？ Well，more’sthepity。 Ah！whatwewanthere’samanofyourpresence； Sano，Secreto，——yes，allthefourS’s，Joinedwithaboldnessanddash，whenthetimecomes，And——mayIsayit？—— OnenotTOOhardonthepoorcountrypeople，Peonsandsillyvaqueros，who，dazzledByrecklessskill，and，perchance，recklesslargesse，Winkatsomequeerthings。 No？YouwouldcrushTHEMaswellastherobbers，—— Rootthemout，scatterthem？Ahyouarebitter—— Andyet——quiensabe，perhapsthat’stheonewayTocatchtheirleader。 Astomyself，now，I’dshareyourdispleasure； ForIadmitinthisJackoftheTulesCertaingoodpoints。Hestillcomestoconfession—— You’d\"liketocatchhim\"？ Ah，ifyoudidatsuchtimes，youmightleadhimHomebyathread。Good！Againyouaresmiling： Youhavenofaithinsuchshrift，andbutlittleInpriestorpenitent。 Bueno！Wetakenooffense，sir；whateverItpleaseyoutosay，itbecomesus，forChurchsake，Tobearinpeace。Yet，ifyouwerekinder—— Andlesssuspicious—— Imightstillprovetoyou，JackoftheTulesShamesnotourteaching；nay，evenmightshowyou，Hardbythisspot，hisoldcomrade，who，wounded，Livesonhisbounty。 If——ah，youlisten！——IseeIcantrustyou； Then，onyourwordasagentleman——follow。 Underthatsycamorestandstheoldcabin； Theresitshiscomrade。 Eh！——areyoumad？YouwouldtrytoARRESThim？ You，withawarrant？Oh，well，taketherestofthem： Pedro，Bill，Murray，PatDoolan。Hey！——allofyou，Tumbleout，d——nit！ There！——that’lldo，boys！Standback！Easehiselbows； Takethegagfromhismouth。Good！NowscatterlikedevilsAfterhisposse——fourstraggling，fourdrunken—— Attheposada。 You——helpmeoffwiththesetogs，andthenvamos！ Now，oleJeffDobbs！——Sheriff，Scout，andDetective！ You’resoderned’cute！Kindersick，ain’tye，bluffingJackoftheTules！ IV。MISCELLANEOUS AGREYPORTLEGEND （1797） Theyranthroughthestreetsoftheseaporttown，Theypeeredfromthedecksoftheshipsthatlay； Thecoldsea-fogthatcamewhiteningdownWasneverascoldorwhiteasthey。 \"Ho，StarbuckandPinckneyandTenterden！ Runforyourshallops，gatheryourmen，Scatteryourboatsonthelowerbay。\" Goodcauseforfear！Inthethickmid-dayThehulkthatlaybytherottingpier，Filledwiththechildreninhappyplay，Parteditsmooringsanddriftedclear，Driftedclearbeyondreachorcall，—— Thirteenchildrentheywereinall，—— Alladriftinthelowerbay！ Saidahard-facedskipper，\"Godhelpusall！ Shewillnotfloattilltheturningtide！\" Saidhiswife，\"MydarlingwillhearMYcall，Whetherinseaorheavenshebide；\" Andsheliftedaquaveringvoiceandhigh，Wildandstrangeasasea-bird’scry，Tilltheyshudderedandwonderedatherside。 Thefogdrovedownoneachlaboringcrew，Veiledeachfromeachandtheskyandshore： Therewasnotasoundbutthebreaththeydrew，Andthelapofwaterandcreakofoar； Andtheyfeltthebreathofthedowns，freshblownO’erleaguesofcloverandcoldgraystone，Butnotfromthelipsthathadgonebefore。 Theycamenomore。ButtheytellthetaleThat，whenfogsarethickontheharborreef，Themackerelfishersshortensail—— Forthesignaltheyknowwillbringrelief； Forthevoicesofchildren，stillatplayInaphantomhulkthatdriftsalwayThroughchannelswhosewatersneverfail。 Itisbutafoolishshipman’stale，Athemeforapoet’sidlepage； Butstill，whenthemistsofDoubtprevail，AndweliebecalmedbytheshoresofAge，WehearfromthemistytroubledshoreThevoiceofthechildrengonebefore，Drawingthesoultoitsanchorage。 ANEWPORTROMANCE Theysaythatshediedofabrokenheart（Itellthetaleas’twastoldtome）； Butherspiritlives，andhersoulispartOfthissadoldhousebythesea。 HerloverwasfickleandfineandFrench： ItwasnearlyahundredyearsagoWhenhesailedawayfromherarms——poorwench！—— WiththeAdmiralRochambeau。 ImarvelmuchwhatperiwiggedphraseWontheheartofthissentimentalQuaker，Atwhatgold-lacedspeechofthosemodishdaysShelistened——themischieftakeher！ ButshekepttheposiesofmignonetteThathegave；andeverastheirbloomfailedAndfaded（thoughwithhertearsstillwet） Heryouthwiththeirownexhaled。 Tillonenight，whenthesea-fogwrappedashroudRoundsparandspireandtarnandtree，HersoulwentuponthatliftedcloudFromthissadoldhousebythesea。 Andeversincethen，whentheclockstrikestwo，Shewalksunbiddenfromroomtoroom，AndtheairisfilledthatshepassesthroughWithasubtle，sadperfume。 Thedelicateodorofmignonette，Theghostofadead-and-gonebouquet，Isallthattellsofherstory；yetCouldshethinkofasweeterway？ Isitinthesadoldhouseto-night，—— Myselfaghostfromafarthersea； AndItrustthatthisQuakerwomanmight，Incourtesy，visitme。 Forthelaughisfledfromporchandlawn，Andthebuglediedfromthefortonthehill，Andthetwitterofgirlsonthestairsisgone，Andthegrandpianoisstill。 Somewhereinthedarknessaclockstrikestwo： Andthereisnosoundinthesadoldhouse，Butthelongverandadrippingwithdew，Andinthewainscotamouse。 Thelightofmystudy-lampstreamsoutFromthelibrarydoor，buthasgoneastrayInthedepthsofthedarkenedhall。SmalldoubtButtheQuakeressknowstheway。 Wasitthetrickofasenseo’erwroughtWithoutwardwatchingandinwardfret？ ButIswearthattheairjustnowwasfraughtWiththeodorofmignonette！ Iopenthewindow，andseemalmost—— Sostillliestheocean——tohearthebeatOfitsGreatGulfarteryoffthecoast，Andtobaskinitstropicheat。 Inmyneighbor’swindowsthegas-lightsflare，AsthedancersswinginawaltzofStrauss； AndIwondernowcouldIfitthatairTothesongofthissadoldhouse。 Andnoodorofmignonettethereis，Butthebreathofmornonthedewylawn； AndmayhapfromcausesasslightasthisThequaintoldlegendisborn。 Butthesoulofthatsubtle，sadperfume，Asthespicedembalmings，theysay，outlastThemummylaidinhisrockytomb，Awakensmyburiedpast。 AndIthinkofthepassionthatshookmyyouth，Ofitsaimlesslovesanditsidlepains，AndamthankfulnowforthecertaintruthThatonlythesweetremains。 AndIhearnorustleofstiffbrocade，AndIseenofaceatmylibrarydoor； Fornowthattheghostsofmyheartarelaid，Sheisviewlessforevermore。 Butwhethershecameasafaintperfume，Orwhetheraspiritinstoleofwhite，Ifeel，asIpassfromthedarkenedroom，Shehasbeenwithmysoulto-night！ SANFRANCISCO （FROMTHESEA） Serene，indifferentofFate，ThousittestattheWesternGate； Uponthyheight，solatelywon，Stillslantthebannersofthesun； Thouseestthewhiteseasstriketheirtents，OWarderoftwocontinents！ And，scornfulofthepeacethatfliesThyangrywindsandsullenskies，Thoudrawestallthings，small，orgreat，Tothee，besidetheWesternGate。 Olion’swhelp，thathidestfastInjunglegrowthofspireandmast！ Iknowthycunningandthygreed，Thyhardhighlustandwillfuldeed，AndallthyglorylovestotellOfspeciousgiftsmaterial。 Dropdown，OFleecyFog，andhideHerskepticsneerandallherpride！ Wrapher，OFog，ingownandhoodOfherFranciscanBrotherhood。 Hidemeherfaults，hersinandblame； Withthygraymantlecloakhershame！ Soshallshe，cowled，sitandprayTillmorningbearshersinsaway。 Thenrise，OFleecyFog，andraiseThegloryofhercomingdays； BeasthecloudthatfleckstheseasAbovehersmokyargosies； WhenformsfamiliarshallgiveplaceTostrangerspeechandnewerface； WhenallherthroesandanxiousfearsLiehushedinthereposeofyears； WhenArtshallraiseandCultureliftThesensualjoysandmeanerthrift，AndallfulfilledthevisionweWhowatchandwaitshallneversee； Who，inthemorningofherrace，Toiledfairormeanlyinourplace，But，yieldingtothecommonlot，Lieunrecordedandforgot。 THEMOUNTAINHEART’S-EASE Byscatteredrocksandturbidwatersshifting，Byfurrowedgladeanddell，Tofeverishmenthycalm，sweetfaceuplifting，ThoustayestthemtotellThedelicatethoughtthatcannotfindexpression，Forruderspeechtoofair，That，likethypetals，tremblesinpossession，Andscattersontheair。 Theminerpausesinhisruggedlabor，And，leaningonhisspade，Laughinglycallsuntohiscomrade-neighborToseethycharmsdisplayed。 Butinhiseyesamistunwontedrises，AndforamomentclearSomesweethomefacehisfoolishthoughtsurprises，Andpassesinatear，—— SomeboyishvisionofhisEasternvillage，Ofuneventfultoil，WheregoldenharvestsfollowedquiettillageAboveapeacefulsoil。 Onemomentonly；forthepick，uplifting，Throughrootandfibrecleaves，AndonthemuddycurrentslowlydriftingAresweptbybruisedleaves。 Andyet，Opoet，inthyhomelyfashion，Thyworkthoudostfulfill，ForontheturbidcurrentofhispassionThyfaceisshiningstill！ GRIZZLY。 Coward，——ofheroicsize，InwhoselazymusclesliesStrengthwefearandyetdespise； Savage，——whoserelentlesstusksArecontentwithacornhusks； Robber，——whoseexploitsne’ersoaredO’erthebee’sorsquirrel’shoard； Whiskeredchinandfeeblenose，Clawsofsteelonbabytoes，—— Here，insolitudeandshade，Shambling，shufflingplantigrade，Bethycoursesundismayed！ Here，whereNaturemakesthybed，Letthyrude，half-humantreadPointtohiddenIndiansprings，Lostinfernsandfragrantgrasses，Hoveredo’erbytimidwings，Wherethewood-ducklightlypasses，Wherethewildbeeholdshersweets，—— Epicureanretreats，Fitforthee，andbetterthanFearfulspoilsofdangerousman。 Inthyfat-jowleddeviltryFriarTuckshallliveinthee； Thoumaystlevytitheanddole； Thoushaltspreadthewoodlandcheer，Fromthepilgrimtakingtoll； Matchthycunningwithhisfear； Eat，anddrink，andhavethyfill； Yetremainanoutlawstill！ MADRONO CaptainoftheWesternwood，ThouthatapestRobinHood！ Greenabovethyscarlethose，Howthyvelvetmantleshows！ Nevertreeliketheearrayed，Othougallantoftheglade！ WhenthefervidAugustsunScorchesallitlooksupon，AndthebalsamofthepineDripsfromstemtoneedlefine，Roundthycompactshadearranged，Notaleafoftheeischanged！ WhentheyellowautumnsunSaddensallitlooksupon，Spreadsitssackclothonthehills，Strewsitsashesintherills，Thouthyscarlethosedostdoff，AndinlimbsofpurestbuffChallengestthesombregladeForasylvanmasquerade。 Where，oh，where，shallhebeginWhowouldpaintthee，Harlequin？ Withthywaxenburnishedleaf，Withthybranches’redrelief，Withthypolytintedfruit，—— Inthyspringorautumnsuit，—— Wherebegin，andoh，whereend，Thouwhosecharmsallarttranscend？ COYOTE Blownoutoftheprairieintwilightanddew，Halfboldandhalftimid，yetlazyallthrough； Loathevertoleave，andyetfearfultostay，Helimpsintheclearing，anoutcastingray。 Ashadeonthestubble，aghostbythewall，Nowleaping，nowlimping，nowriskingafall，Lop-earedandlarge-jointed，buteveralwayAthoroughlyvagabondoutcastingray。 Here，Carlo，oldfellow，——he’soneofyourkind，—— Go，seekhim，andbringhiminoutofthewind。 What！snarling，myCarlo！SoevendogsmayDenytheirownkinintheoutcastingray。