第5章

\"Itoccurredtome，\"themajorwouldbegin——hewasalwaysceremonious—— \"thatperhapsyoumighthavefoundyourdutiesatthe——atyourplaceofoccupation——sufficientlyarduoustoenableyou，Mr。Hargraves，toappreciatewhatthepoetmightwellhavehadinhismindwhenhewrote，’tiredNature’ssweetrestorer，’——oneofourSouthernjuleps。\" ItwasafascinationtoHargravestowatchhimmakeit。Hetookrankamongartistswhenhebegan，andhenevervariedtheprocess。Withwhatdelicacyhebruisedthemint；withwhatexquisitenicetyheestimatedtheingredients；withwhatsolicitouscarehecappedthecompoundwiththescarletfruitglowingagainstthedarkgreenfringe！Andthenthehospitalityandgracewithwhichheofferedit，aftertheselectedoatstrawshadbeenplungedintoitstinklingdepths！ AfteraboutfourmonthsinWashington，MissLydiadiscoveredonemorningthattheywerealmostwithoutmoney。The\"AnecdotesandReminiscences\" wascompleted，butpublishershadnotjumpedatthecollectedgemsofAlabamasenseandwit。TherentalofasmallhousewhichtheystillownedinMobilewastwomonthsinarrears。Theirboardmoneyforthemonthwouldbedueinthreedays。MissLydiacalledherfathertoaconsultation。 \"Nomoney？\"saidhewithasurprisedlook。\"Itisquiteannoyingtobecalledonsofrequentlyforthesepettysums。Really，I——\" Themajorsearchedhispockets。Hefoundonlyatwo-dollarbill，whichhereturnedtohisvestpocket。 \"Imustattendtothisatonce，Lydia，\"hesaid。\"KindlygetmemyumbrellaandIwillgodowntownimmediately。Thecongressmanfromourdistrict，GeneralFulghum，assuredmesomedaysagothathewouldusehisinfluencetogetmybookpublishedatanearlydate。Iwillgotohishotelatonceandseewhatarrangementhasbeenmade。\" WithasadlittlesmileMissLydiawatchedhimbuttonhis\"FatherHubbard\" anddepart，pausingatthedoor，ashealwaysdid，tobowprofoundly。 Thatevening，atdark，hereturned。ItseemedthatCongressmanFulghumhadseenthepublisherwhohadthemajor’smanuscriptforreading。Thatpersonhadsaidthatiftheanecdotes，etc。，werecarefullypruneddownaboutonehalf，inordertoeliminatethesectionalandclassprejudicewithwhichthebookwasdyedfromendtoend，hemightconsideritspublication。 Themajorwasinawhiteheatofanger，butregainedhisequanimity，accordingtohiscodeofmanners，assoonashewasinMissLydia’spresence。 \"Wemusthavemoney，\"saidMissLydia，withalittlewrinkleabovehernose。\"Givemethetwodollars，andIwilltelegraphtoUncleRalphforsometo-night。\" Themajordrewasmallenvelopefromhisuppervestpocketandtosseditonthetable。 \"Perhapsitwasinjudicious，\"hesaidmildly，\"butthesumwassomerelynominalthatIboughtticketstothetheatreto-night。It’sanewwardrama，Lydia。IthoughtyouwouldbepleasedtowitnessitsfirstproductioninWashington。IamtoldthattheSouthhasveryfairtreatmentintheplay。IconfessIshouldliketoseetheperformancemyself。\" MissLydiathrewupherhandsinsilentdespair。 Still，astheticketswerebought，theymightaswellbeused。Sothatevening，astheysatinthetheatrelisteningtothelivelyoverture，evenMissLydiawasmindedtorelegatetheirtroubles，forthehour，tosecondplace。Themajor，inspotlesslinen，withhisextraordinarycoatshowingonlywhereitwascloselybuttoned，andhiswhitehairsmoothlyroached，lookedreallyfineanddistinguished。Thecurtainwentuponthefirstactof\"AMagnoliaFlower，\"revealingatypicalSouthernplantationscene。MajorTalbotbetrayedsomeinterest。 \"Oh，see！\"exclaimedMissLydia，nudginghisarm，andpointingtoherprogramme。 Themajorputonhisglassesandreadthelineinthecastofcharactersthatherfingerindicated。 Col。WebsterCalhoun……H。HopkinsHargraves。 \"It’sourMr。Hargraves，\"saidMissLydia。\"Itmustbehisfirstappearanceinwhathecalls’thelegitimate。’I’msogladforhim。\" NotuntilthesecondactdidCol。WebsterCalhounappearuponthestage。 WhenhemadehisentryMajorTalbotgaveanaudiblesniff，glaredathim，andseemedtofreezesolid。MissLydiautteredalittle，ambiguoussqueakandcrumpledherprogrammeinherhand。ForColonelCalhounwasmadeupasnearlyresemblingMajorTalbotasonepeadoesanother。Thelong，thinwhitehair，curlyattheends，thearistocraticbeakofanose，thecrumpled，wide，ravellingshirtfront，thestringtie，withthebownearlyunderoneear，werealmostexactlyduplicated。Andthen，toclinchtheimitation，heworethetwintothemajor’ssupposedtobeunparalleledcoat。High-collared，baggy，empire-waisted，ample-skirted，hangingafootlowerinfrontthanbehind，thegarmentcouldhavebeendesignedfromnootherpattern。Fromthenon，themajorandMissLydiasatbewitched，andsawthecounterfeitpresentmentofahaughtyTalbot\"dragged，\"asthemajorafterwardexpressedit，\"throughtheslanderousmireofacorruptstage。\" Mr。Hargraveshadusedhisopportunitieswell。Hehadcaughtthemajor’slittleidiosyncrasiesofspeech，accent，andintonationandhispompouscourtlinesstoperfection——exaggeratingalltothepurposesofthestage。Whenheperformedthatmarvellousbowthatthemajorfondlyimaginedtobethepinkofallsalutations，theaudiencesentforthasuddenroundofheartyapplause。 MissLydiasatimmovable，notdaringtoglancetowardherfather。 Sometimesherhandnexttohimwouldbelaidagainsthercheek，asiftoconcealthesmilewhich，inspiteofherdisapproval，shecouldnotentirelysuppress。 TheculminationofHargraves’saudaciousimitationtookplaceinthethirdact。ThesceneiswhereColonelCalhounentertainsafewoftheneighbouringplantersinhis\"den。\" Standingatatableinthecentreofthestage，withhisfriendsgroupedabouthim，hedeliversthatinimitable，rambling，charactermonologuesofamousin\"AMagnoliaFlower，\"atthesametimethathedeftlymakesjulepsfortheparty。 MajorTalbot，sittingquietly，butwhitewithindignation，heardhisbeststoriesretold，hispettheoriesandhobbiesadvancedandexpanded，andthedreamofthe\"AnecdotesandReminiscences\"served，exaggeratedandgarbled。Hisfavouritenarrative——thatofhisduelwithRathboneCulbertson——wasnotomitted，anditwasdeliveredwithmorefire，egotism，andgustothanthemajorhimselfputintoit。 Themonologueconcludedwithaquaint，delicious，wittylittlelectureontheartofconcoctingajulep，illustratedbytheact。HereMajorTalbot’sdelicatebutshowysciencewasreproducedtoahair’sbreadth—— fromhisdaintyhandlingofthefragrantweed——\"theone-thousandthpartofagraintoomuchpressure，gentlemen，andyouextractthebitterness，insteadofthearoma，ofthisheaven-bestowedplant\"——tohissolicitousselectionoftheoatenstraws。 Atthecloseofthescenetheaudienceraisedatumultuousroarofappreciation。Theportrayalofthetypewassoexact，sosureandthorough，thattheleadingcharactersintheplaywereforgotten。Afterrepeatedcalls，Hargravescamebeforethecurtainandbowed，hisratherboyishfacebrightandflushedwiththeknowledgeofsuccess。 AtlastMissLydiaturnedandlookedatthemajor。Histhinnostrilswereworkinglikethegillsofafish。Helaidbothshakinghandsuponthearmsofhischairtorise。 \"Wewillgo，Lydia，\"hesaidchokingly。\"Thisisanabominable—— desecration。\" Beforehecouldrise，shepulledhimbackintohisseat。\"Wewillstayitout，\"shedeclared。\"Doyouwanttoadvertisethecopybyexhibitingtheoriginalcoat？\"Sotheyremainedtotheend。 Hargraves’ssuccessmusthavekepthimuplatethatnight，forneitheratthebreakfastnoratthedinnertabledidheappear。 AboutthreeintheafternoonhetappedatthedoorofMajorTalbot’sstudy。Themajoropenedit，andHargraveswalkedinwithhishandsfullofthemorningpapers——toofullofhistriumphtonoticeanythingunusualinthemajor’sdemeanour。 \"Iputitallover’emlastnight，major，\"hebeganexultantly。\"Ihadmyinning，and，Ithink，scored。Here’swhatthe_Post_says： Hisconceptionandportrayaloftheold-timeSoutherncolonel，withhisabsurdgrandiloquence，hiseccentricgarb，hisquaintidiomsandphrases，hismoth-eatenprideoffamily，andhisreallykindheart，fastidioussenseofhonour，andlovablesimplicity，isthebestdelineationofacharacterroleontheboardsto-day。ThecoatwornbyColonelCalhounisitselfnothinglessthananevolutionofgenius。Mr。Hargraveshascapturedhispublic。 \"Howdoesthatsound，major，forafirstnighter？\" \"Ihadthehonour\"——themajor’svoicesoundedominouslyfrigid——\"ofwitnessingyourveryremarkableperformance，sir，lastnight。\" Hargraveslookeddisconcerted。 \"Youwerethere？Ididn’tknowyouever——Ididn’tknowyoucaredforthetheatre。Oh，Isay，MajorTalbot，\"heexclaimedfrankly，\"don’tyoubeoffended。IadmitIdidgetalotofpointersfromyouthathelpedmeoutwonderfullyinthepart。Butit’satype，youknow——notindividual。Thewaytheaudiencecaughtonshowsthat。HalfthepatronsofthattheatreareSoutherners。Theyrecognizedit。\" \"Mr。Hargraves，\"saidthemajor，whohadremainedstanding，\"youhaveputuponmeanunpardonableinsult。Youhaveburlesquedmyperson，grosslybetrayedmyconfidence，andmisusedmyhospitality。IfIthoughtyoupossessedthefaintestconceptionofwhatisthesignmanualofagentleman，orwhatisdueone，Iwouldcallyouout，sir，oldasIam。I willaskyoutoleavetheroom，sir。\" Theactorappearedtobeslightlybewildered，andseemedhardlytotakeinthefullmeaningoftheoldgentleman’swords。 \"Iamtrulysorryyoutookoffence，\"hesaidregretfully。\"Upherewedon’tlookatthingsjustasyoupeopledo。Iknowmenwhowouldbuyouthalfthehousetohavetheirpersonalityputonthestagesothepublicwouldrecognizeit。\" \"TheyarenotfromAlabama，sir，\"saidthemajorhaughtily。 \"Perhapsnot。Ihaveaprettygoodmemory，major；letmequoteafewlinesfromyourbook。Inresponsetoatoastatabanquetgivenin—— Milledgeville，Ibelieve——youuttered，andintendtohaveprinted，thesewords： TheNorthernmanisutterlywithoutsentimentorwarmthexceptinsofarasthefeelingsmaybeturnedtohisowncommercialprofit。Hewillsufferwithoutresentmentanyimputationcastuponthehonourofhimselforhislovedonesthatdoesnotbearwithittheconsequenceofpecuniaryloss。Inhischarity，hegiveswithaliberalhand；butitmustbeheraldedwiththetrumpetandchronicledinbrass。 \"DoyouthinkthatpictureisfairerthantheoneyousawofColonelCalhounlastnight？\" \"Thedescription，\"saidthemajorfrowning，\"is——notwithoutgrounds。 Someexag——latitudemustbeallowedinpublicspeaking。\" \"Andinpublicacting，\"repliedHargraves。 \"Thatisnotthepoint，\"persistedthemajor，unrelenting。\"Itwasapersonalcaricature。Ipositivelydeclinetooverlookit，sir。\" \"MajorTalbot，\"saidHargraves，withawinningsmile，\"Iwishyouwouldunderstandme。IwantyoutoknowthatIneverdreamedofinsultingyou。 Inmyprofession，alllifebelongstome。ItakewhatIwant，andwhatI can，andreturnitoverthefootlights。Now，ifyouwill，let’sletitgoatthat。Icameintoseeyouaboutsomethingelse。We’vebeenprettygoodfriendsforsomemonths，andI’mgoingtotaketheriskofoffendingyouagain。Iknowyouarehardupformoney——nevermindhowIfoundout；aboardinghouseisnoplacetokeepsuchmatterssecret——andI wantyoutoletmehelpyououtofthepinch。I’vebeenthereoftenenoughmyself。I’vebeengettingafairsalaryalltheseason，andI’vesavedsomemoney。You’rewelcometoacouplehundred——orevenmore—— untilyouget——\" \"Stop！\"commandedthemajor，withhisarmoutstretched。\"Itseemsthatmybookdidn’tlie，afterall。Youthinkyourmoneysalvewillhealallthehurtsofhonour。UndernocircumstanceswouldIacceptaloanfromacasualacquaintance；andastoyou，sir，IwouldstarvebeforeIwouldconsideryourinsultingofferofafinancialadjustmentofthecircumstanceswehavediscussed。Ibegtorepeatmyrequestrelativetoyourquittingtheapartment。\" Hargravestookhisdeparturewithoutanotherword。Healsoleftthehousethesameday，moving，asMrs。Vardemanexplainedatthesuppertable，nearerthevicinityofthedown-towntheatre，where\"AMagnoliaFlower\" wasbookedforaweek’srun。 CriticalwasthesituationwithMajorTalbotandMissLydia。TherewasnooneinWashingtontowhomthemajor’sscruplesallowedhimtoapplyforaloan。MissLydiawrotealettertoUncleRalph，butitwasdoubtfulwhetherthatrelative’sconstrictedaffairswouldpermithimtofurnishhelp。ThemajorwasforcedtomakeanapologeticaddresstoMrs。Vardemanregardingthedelayedpaymentforboard，referringto\"delinquentrentals\" and\"delayedremittances\"inaratherconfusedstrain。 Deliverancecamefromanentirelyunexpectedsource。 LateoneafternoonthedoormaidcameupandannouncedanoldcolouredmanwhowantedtoseeMajorTalbot。Themajoraskedthathebesentuptohisstudy。Soonanolddarkeyappearedinthedoorway，withhishatinhand，bowing，andscrapingwithoneclumsyfoot。Hewasquitedecentlydressedinabaggysuitofblack。Hisbig，coarseshoesshonewithametalliclustresuggestiveofstovepolish。Hisbushywoolwasgray——almostwhite。Aftermiddlelife，itisdifficulttoestimatetheageofaNegro。ThisonemighthaveseenasmanyyearsashadMajorTalbot。 \"Ibeboundyoudon’tknowme，Mars’Pendleton，\"werehisfirstwords。 Themajorroseandcameforwardattheold，familiarstyleofaddress。Itwasoneoftheoldplantationdarkeyswithoutadoubt；buttheyhadbeenwidelyscattered，andhecouldnotrecallthevoiceorface。 \"Idon’tbelieveIdo，\"hesaidkindly——\"unlessyouwillassistmymemory。\" \"Don’tyou’memberCindy’sMose，Mars’Pendleton，what’migrated’mediatelyafterdewar？\" \"Waitamoment，\"saidthemajor，rubbinghisforeheadwiththetipsofhisfingers。Helovedtorecalleverythingconnectedwiththosebeloveddays。\"Cindy’sMose，\"hereflected。\"Youworkedamongthehorses—— breakingthecolts。Yes，Iremembernow。Afterthesurrender，youtookthenameof——don’tpromptme——Mitchell，andwenttotheWest——toNebraska。\" \"Yassir，yassir，\"——theoldman’sfacestretchedwithadelightedgrin—— \"dat’shim，dat’sit。Newbraska。Dat’sme——MoseMitchell。OldUncleMoseMitchell，deycallsmenow。Oldmars’，yourpa，gimmeapahofdemmulecoltswhenIlef’furtostahtmegoin’with。You’memberdemcolts，Mars’Pendleton？\" \"Idon’tseemtorecallthecolts，\"saidthemajor。\"YouknowIwasmarriedthefirstyearofthewarandlivingattheoldFollinsbeeplace。 Butsitdown，sitdown，UncleMose。I’mgladtoseeyou。Ihopeyouhaveprospered。\" UncleMosetookachairandlaidhishatcarefullyonthefloorbesideit。 \"Yassir；oflateIdonemoutyfamous。WhenIfirstgottoNewbraska，deyfolkscomeallroun’metoseedemmulecolts。Deyain’tseenomuleslikedeminNewbraska。Isolddemmulesforthreehundreddollars。 Yassir——threehundred。 \"DenIopenablacksmithshop，suh，andmadesomemoneyandboughtsomelan’。Meandmyold’omandoneraisedupseb’mchillun，andalldoin’ well’cepttwoof’emwhatdied。Fo’yearagoarailroadcomealongandstahtatownslamag’instmylan’，and，suh，Mars’Pendleton，UncleMoseamworthleb’mthousanddollarsinmoney，property，andlan’。\" \"I’mgladtohearit，\"saidthemajorheartily。\"Gladtohearit。\" \"Anddatlittlebabyofyo’n，Mars’Pendleton——onewhatyounameMissLyddy——Ibebounddatlittletaddonegroweduptellnobodywouldn’tknowher。\" Themajorsteppedtothedoorandcalled：\"Lydia，dear，willyoucome？\" MissLydia，lookingquitegrownupandalittleworried，cameinfromherroom。 \"Dar，now！What’dItellyou？Iknoweddatbabydonebeplumgrowedup。 Youdon’t’memberUncleMose，child？\" \"ThisisAuntCindy’sMose，Lydia，\"explainedthemajor。\"HeleftSunnymeadfortheWestwhenyouweretwoyearsold。\" \"Well，\"saidMissLydia，\"Icanhardlybeexpectedtorememberyou，UncleMose，atthatage。And，asyousay，I’m’plumgrowedup，’andwasablessedlongtimeago。ButI’mgladtoseeyou，evenifIcan’trememberyou。\" Andshewas。Andsowasthemajor。Somethingaliveandtangiblehadcometolinkthemwiththehappypast。Thethreesatandtalkedovertheoldentimes，themajorandUncleMosecorrectingorpromptingeachotherastheyreviewedtheplantationscenesanddays。 Themajorinquiredwhattheoldmanwasdoingsofarfromhishome。 \"UncleMoseamadelicate，\"heexplained，\"todegrandBaptis’conventionindiscity。Ineverpreachednone，butbein’aresidin’elderindechurch，andablefurtopaymyownexpenses，deysentmealong。\" \"AndhowdidyouknowwewereinWashington？\"inquiredMissLydia。 \"Dey’saculludmanworksindehotelwharIstops，whatcomesfromMobile。HetoldmeheseenMars’Pendletoncomin’outendishherehouseonemawnin’。 \"WhatIcomefur，\"continuedUncleMose，reachingintohispocket—— \"besidesdesightofhomefolks——wastopayMars’PendletonwhatIoweshim。\" \"Oweme？\"saidthemajor，insurprise。 \"Yassir——threehundreddollars。\"Hehandedthemajorarollofbills。 \"WhenIlef’oldmars’says：’Takedemmulecolts，Mose，and，ifitbesoyougitsable，payfur’em’。Yassir——demwashiswords。Dewarhaddonelef’oldmars’po’hisself。Oldmars’bein’’longagodead，dedebtdescendstoMars’Pendleton。Threehundreddollars。UncleMoseisplentyabletopaynow。Whendatrailroadbuymylan’Ilaidofftopayfurdemmules。Countdemoney，Mars’Pendleton。Dat’swhatIsolddemmulesfur。Yassir。\" TearswereinMajorTalbot’seyes。HetookUncleMose’shandandlaidhisotheruponhisshoulder。 \"Dear，faithful，oldservitor，\"hesaidinanunsteadyvoice，\"Idon’tmindsayingtoyouthat’Mars’Pendleton’spenthislastdollarintheworldaweekago。Wewillacceptthismoney，UncleMose，since，inaway，itisasortofpayment，aswellasatokenoftheloyaltyanddevotionoftheoldregime。Lydia，mydear，takethemoney。YouarebetterfittedthanItomanageitsexpenditure。\" \"Takeit，honey，\"saidUncleMose。\"Hitbelongstoyou。Hit’sTalbotmoney。\" AfterUncleMosehadgone，MissLydiahadagoodcry——forjoy；andthemajorturnedhisfacetoacorner，andsmokedhisclaypipevolcanically。 ThesucceedingdayssawtheTalbotsrestoredtopeaceandease。MissLydia’sfacelostitsworriedlook。Themajorappearedinanewfrockcoat，inwhichhelookedlikeawaxfigurepersonifyingthememoryofhisgoldenage。Anotherpublisherwhoreadthemanuscriptofthe\"AnecdotesandReminiscences\"thoughtthat，withalittleretouchingandtoningdownofthehighlights，hecouldmakeareallybrightandsalablevolumeofit。Altogether，thesituationwascomfortable，andnotwithoutthetouchofhopethatisoftensweeterthanarrivedblessings。 Oneday，aboutaweekaftertheirpieceofgoodluck，amaidbroughtaletterforMissLydiatoherroom。ThepostmarkshowedthatitwasfromNewYork。Notknowinganyonethere，MissLydia，inamildflutterofwonder，satdownbyhertableandopenedtheletterwithherscissors。 Thiswaswhatsheread： DearMissTalbot： Ithoughtyoumightbegladtolearnofmygoodfortune。IhavereceivedandacceptedanofferoftwohundreddollarsperweekbyaNewYorkstockcompanytoplayColonelCalhounin\"AMagnoliaFlower。\" ThereissomethingelseIwantedyoutoknow。Iguessyou’dbetternottellMajorTalbot。Iwasanxioustomakehimsomeamendsforthegreathelphewastomeinstudyingthepart，andforthebadhumourhewasinaboutit。Herefusedtoletme，soIdiditanyhow。Icouldeasilysparethethreehundred。 Sincerelyyours，H。HopkinsHargraves，P。S。HowdidIplayUncleMose？ MajorTalbot，passingthroughthehall，sawMissLydia’sdooropenandstopped。 \"Anymailforusthismorning，Lydia，dear？\"heasked。 MissLydiaslidtheletterbeneathafoldofherdress。 \"The_MobileChronicle_came，\"shesaidpromptly。\"It’sonthetableinyourstudy。\" XIVLETMEFEELYOURPULSE SoIwenttoadoctor。 \"Howlonghasitbeensinceyoutookanyalcoholintoyoursystem？\"heasked。 Turningmyheadsidewise，Ianswered，\"Oh，quiteawhile。\" Hewasayoungdoctor，somewherebetweentwentyandforty。Heworeheliotropesocks，buthelookedlikeNapoleon。Ilikedhimimmensely。 \"Now，\"saidhe，\"Iamgoingtoshowyoutheeffectofalcoholuponyourcirculation。\"Ithinkitwas\"circulation\"hesaid；thoughitmayhavebeen\"advertising。\" Hebaredmyleftarmtotheelbow，broughtoutabottleofwhiskey，andgavemeadrink。HebegantolookmorelikeNapoleon。Ibegantolikehimbetter。 Thenheputatightcompressonmyupperarm，stoppedmypulsewithhisfingers，andsqueezedarubberbulbconnectedwithanapparatusonastandthatlookedlikeathermometer。Themercuryjumpedupanddownwithoutseemingtostopanywhere；butthedoctorsaiditregisteredtwohundredandthirty-sevenoronehundredandsixty-fiveorsomesuchnumber。 \"Now，\"saidhe，\"youseewhatalcoholdoestotheblood-pressure。\" \"It’smarvellous，\"saidI，\"butdoyouthinkitasufficienttest？Haveoneonme，andlet’strytheotherarm。\"But，no！ Thenhegraspedmyhand。IthoughtIwasdoomedandhewassayinggood-bye。Butallhewantedtodowastojabaneedleintotheendofafingerandcomparethereddropwithalotoffifty-centpokerchipsthathehadfastenedtoacard。 \"It’sthehaemoglobintest，\"heexplained。\"Thecolourofyourbloodiswrong。\" \"Well，\"saidI，\"Iknowitshouldbeblue；butthisisacountryofmix-ups。Someofmyancestorswerecavaliers；buttheygotthickwithsomepeopleonNantucketIsland，so——\" \"Imean，\"saidthedoctor，\"thattheshadeofredistoolight。\" \"Oh，\"saidI，\"it’sacaseofmatchinginsteadofmatches。\" Thedoctorthenpoundedmeseverelyintheregionofthechest。WhenhedidthatIdon’tknowwhetherheremindedmemostofNapoleonorBattlingorLordNelson。Thenhelookedgraveandmentionedastringofgrievancesthatthefleshisheirto——mostlyendingin\"itis。\"Iimmediatelypaidhimfifteendollarsonaccount。 \"Isorareitorsomeoranyofthemnecessarilyfatal？\"Iasked。I thoughtmyconnectionwiththematterjustifiedmymanifestingacertainamountofinterest。 \"Allofthem，\"heansweredcheerfully。\"Buttheirprogressmaybearrested。Withcareandpropercontinuoustreatmentyoumaylivetobeeighty-fiveorninety。\" Ibegantothinkofthedoctor’sbill。\"Eighty-fivewouldbesufficient，Iamsure，\"wasmycomment。Ipaidhimtendollarsmoreonaccount。 \"Thefirstthingtodo，\"hesaid，withrenewedanimation，\"istofindasanitariumwhereyouwillgetacompleterestforawhile，andallowyournervestogetintoabettercondition。Imyselfwillgowithyouandselectasuitableone。 Sohetookmetoamad-houseintheCatskills。Itwasonabaremountainfrequentedonlybyinfrequentfrequenters。Youcouldseenothingbutstonesandboulders，somepatchesofsnow，andscatteredpinetrees。Theyoungphysicianinchargewasmostagreeable。Hegavemeastimulantwithoutapplyingacompresstothearm。Itwasluncheontime，andwewereinvitedtopartake。Therewereabouttwentyinmatesatlittletablesinthediningroom。Theyoungphysicianinchargecametoourtableandsaid：\"Itisacustomwithourguestsnottoregardthemselvesaspatients，hutmerelyastiredladiesandgentlementakingarest。 Whateverslightmaladiestheymayhaveareneveralludedtoinconversation。\" Mydoctorcalledloudlytoawaitresstobringsomephosphoglycerateoflimehash，dog-bread，bromo-seltzerpancakes，andnuxvomicateaformyrepast。Thenasoundaroselikeasuddenwindstormamongpinetrees。Itwasproducedbyeveryguestintheroomwhisperingloudly，\"Neurasthenia！\" ——exceptonemanwithanose，whomIdistinctlyheardsay，\"Chronicalcoholism。\"Ihopetomeethimagain。Thephysicianinchargeturnedandwalkedaway。 Anhourorsoafterluncheonheconductedustotheworkshop——sayfiftyyardsfromthehouse。Thithertheguestshadbeenconductedbythephysicianincharge’sunderstudyandsponge-holder——amanwithfeetandabluesweater。HewassotallthatIwasnotsurehehadaface；huttheArmourPackingCompanywouldhavebeendelightedwithhishands。 \"Here，\"saidthephysicianincharge，\"ourguestsfindrelaxationfrompastmentalworriesbydevotingthemselvestophysicallabour—— recreation，inreality。\" Therewereturning-lathes，carpenters’outfits，clay-modellingtools，spinning-wheels，weaving-frames，treadmills，bassdrums，enlarged-crayon-portraitapparatuses，blacksmithforges，andeverything，seemingly，thatcouldinterestthepayinglunaticguestsofafirst-ratesanitarium。 \"Theladymakingmudpiesinthecorner，\"whisperedthephysicianincharge，\"isnootherthan——LulaLulington，theauthoressofthenovelentitled’WhyLoveLoves。’Whatsheisdoingnowissimplytoresthermindafterperformingthatpieceofwork。\" Ihadseenthebook。\"Whydoesn’tshedoitbywritinganotheroneinstead？\"Iasked。 Asyousee，Iwasn’tasfargoneastheythoughtIwas。 \"Thegentlemanpouringwaterthroughthefunnel，\"continuedthephysicianincharge，\"isaWallStreetbrokerbrokendownfromoverwork。\" Ibuttonedmycoat。 OthershepointedoutwerearchitectsplayingwithNoah’sarks，ministersreadingDarwin’s\"TheoryofEvolution，\"lawyerssawingwood，tired-outsocietyladiestalkingIbsentotheblue-sweateredsponge-holder，aneuroticmillionairelyingasleeponthefloor，andaprominentartistdrawingalittleredwagonaroundtheroom。 \"Youlookprettystrong，\"saidthephysicianinchargetome。\"Ithinkthebestmentalrelaxationforyouwouldbethrowingsmallbouldersoverthemountainsideandthenbringingthemupagain。\" Iwasahundredyardsawaybeforemydoctorovertookme。 \"What’sthematter？\"heasked。 \"Thematteris，\"saidI，\"thattherearenoaeroplaneshandy。SoIamgoingtomerrilyandhastilyjogthefoot-pathwaytoyonstationandcatchthefirstunlimited-soft-coalexpressbacktotown。\" \"Well，\"saidthedoctor，\"perhapsyouareright。Thisseemshardlythesuitableplaceforyou。Butwhatyouneedisrest——absoluterestandexercise。\" ThatnightIwenttoahotelinthecity，andsaidtotheclerk：\"WhatI needisabsoluterestandexercise。Canyougivemearoomwithoneofthosetallfoldingbedsinit，andarelayofbellboystoworkitupanddownwhileIrest？\" Theclerkrubbedaspeckoffoneofhisfingernailsandglancedsidewiseatatallmaninawhitehatsittinginthelobby。ThatmancameoverandaskedmepolitelyifIhadseentheshrubberyatthewestentrance。Ihadnot，soheshowedittomeandthenlookedmeover。 \"Ithoughtyouhad’em，\"hesaid，notunkindly，\"butIguessyou’reallright。You’dbettergoseeadoctor，oldman。\" Aweekafterwardmydoctortestedmybloodpressureagainwithoutthepreliminarystimulant。HelookedtomealittlelesslikeNapoleon。Andhissockswereofashade，oftanthatdidnotappealtome。 \"Whatyouneed，\"hedecided，\"isseaairandcompanionship。\" \"Wouldamermaid——\"Ibegan；butheslippedonhisprofessionalmanner。 \"Imyself，\"hesaid，\"willtakeyoutotheHotelBonairoffthecoastofLongIslandandseethatyougetingoodshape。Itisaquiet，comfortableresortwhereyouwillsoonrecuperate。\" TheHotelBonairprovedtobeanine-hundred-roomfashionablehostelryonanislandoffthemainshore。Everybodywhodidnotdressfordinnerwasshovedintoasidedining-roomandgivenonlyaterrapinandchampagnetabled’hote。Thebaywasagreatstampinggroundforwealthyyachtsmen。 TheCorsairanchoredtherethedaywearrived。IsawMr。Morganstandingondeckeatingacheesesandwichandgazinglonginglyatthehotel。 Still，itwasaveryinexpensiveplace。Nobodycouldaffordtopaytheirprices。Whenyouwentawayyousimplyleftyourbaggage，stoleaskiff，andbeatitforthemainlandinthenight。 WhenIhadbeenthereonedayIgotapadofmonogrammedtelegraphblanksattheclerk’sdeskandbegantowiretoallmyfriendsforget-awaymoney。MydoctorandIplayedonegameofcroquetonthegolflinksandwenttosleeponthelawn。 Whenwegotbacktotownathoughtseemedtooccurtohimsuddenly。\"Bytheway，\"heasked，\"howdoyoufeel？\" \"Relievedofverymuch，\"Ireplied。 Nowaconsultingphysicianisdifferent。Heisn’texactlysurewhetherheistobepaidornot，andthisuncertaintyinsuresyoueitherthemostcarefulorthemostcarelessattention。Mydoctortookmetoseeaconsultingphysician。Hemadeapoorguessandgavemecarefulattention。Ilikedhimimmensely。Heputmethroughsomecoordinationexercises。 \"Haveyouapaininthebackofyourhead？\"heasked。ItoldhimIhadnot。 \"Shutyoureyes，\"heordered，\"putyourfeetclosetogether，andjumpbackwardasfarasyoucan。\" Ialwayswasagoodbackwardjumperwithmyeyesshut，soIobeyed。Myheadstrucktheedgeofthebathroomdoor，whichhadbeenleftopenandwasonlythreefeetaway。Thedoctorwasverysorry。Hehadoverlookedthefactthatthedoorwasopen。Heclosedit。 \"Nowtouchyournosewithyourrightforefinger，\"hesaid。 \"Whereisit？\"Iasked。 \"Onyourface，\"saidhe。 \"Imeanmyrightforefinger，\"Iexplained。 \"Oh，excuseme，\"saidhe。Hereopenedthebathroomdoor，andItookmyfingeroutofthecrackofit。 AfterIhadperformedthemarvellousdigito-nasalfeatIsaid： \"Idonotwishtodeceiveyouastosymptoms，Doctor；Ireallyhavesomethinglikeapaininthebackofmyhead。\"Heignoredthesymptomandexaminedmyheartcarefullywithalatest-popular-air-penny-in-the-slotear-trumpet。Ifeltlikeaballad。 \"Now，\"hesaid，\"galloplikeahorseforaboutfiveminutesaroundtheroom。\" IgavethebestimitationIcouldofadisqualifiedPercheronbeingledoutofMadisonSquareGarden。Then，withoutdroppinginapenny，helistenedtomychestagain。 \"Noglandersinourfamily，Doc，\"Isaid。 Theconsultingphysicianhelduphisforefingerwithinthreeinchesofmynose。\"Lookatmyfinger，\"hecommanded。 \"DidyouevertryPears’——\"Ibegan；buthewentonwithhistestrapidly。 \"Nowlookacrossthebay。Atmyfinger。Acrossthebay。Atmyfinger。 Atmyfinger。Acrossthebay。Acrossthebay。Atmyfinger。Acrossthebay。\"Thisforaboutthreeminutes。 Heexplainedthatthiswasatestoftheactionofthebrain。Itseemedeasytome。Ineveroncemistookhisfingerforthebay。I’llbetthatifhehadusedthephrases：\"Gaze，asitwere，unpreoccupied，outward—— orratherlaterally——inthedirectionofthehorizon，underlaid，sotospeak，withtheadjacentfluidinlet，\"and\"Now，returning——orrather，inamanner，withdrawingyourattention，bestowituponmyupraiseddigit\" ——I’llbet，Isay，thatHenryJameshimselfcouldhavepassedtheexamination。 AfteraskingmeifIhadeverhadagrandunclewithcurvatureofthespineoracousinwithswelledankles，thetwodoctorsretiredtothebathroomandsatontheedgeofthebathtubfortheirconsultation。I ateanapple，andgazedfirstatmyfingerandthenacrossthebay。 Thedoctorscameoutlookinggrave。More：theylookedtombstonesandTennessee-papers-please-copy。TheywroteoutadietlisttowhichIwastoberestricted。IthadeverythingthatIhadeverheardoftoeatonit，exceptsnails。AndInevereatasnailunlessitovertakesmeandbitesmefirst。 \"Youmustfollowthisdietstrictly，\"saidthedoctors。 \"I’dfollowitamileifIcouldgetone-tenthofwhat’sonit，\"I answered。 \"Ofnextimportance，\"theywenton，\"isoutdoorairandexercise。Andhereisaprescriptionthatwillbeofgreatbenefittoyou。\" Thenallofustooksomething。Theytooktheirhats，andItookmydeparture。 Iwenttoadruggistandshowedhimtheprescription。 \"Itwillbe$2。87foranouncebottle，\"hesaid。 \"Willyougivemeapieceofyourwrappingcord？\"saidI。 Imadeaholeintheprescription，ranthecordthroughit，tieditaroundmyneck，andtuckeditinside。Allofushavealittlesuperstition，andminerunstoaconfidenceinamulets。 Ofcoursetherewasnothingthematterwithme，butIwasveryill。I couldn’twork，sleep，eat，orbowl。TheonlywayIcouldgetanysympathywastogowithoutshavingforfourdays。Eventhensomebodywouldsay： \"Oldman，youlookashardyasapineknot。BeenupforajauntintheMainewoods，eh？\" Then，suddenly，IrememberedthatImusthaveoutdoorairandexercise。 SoIwentdownSouthtoJohn’s。Johnisanapproximaterelativebyverdictofapreacherstandingwithalittlebookinhishandsinabowerofchrysanthemumswhileahundredthousandpeoplelookedon。JohnhasacountryhousesevenmilesfromPineville。ItisatanaltitudeandontheBlueRidgeMountainsinastatetoodignifiedtobedraggedintothiscontroversy。Johnismica，whichismorevaluableandclearerthangold。 HemetmeatPineville，andwetookthetrolleycartohishome。Itisabig，neighbourlesscottageonahillsurroundedbyahundredmountains。 Wegotoffathislittleprivatestation，whereJohn’sfamilyandAmaryllismetandgreetedus。Amaryllislookedatmeatrifleanxiously。 Arabbitcameboundingacrossthehillbetweenusandthehouse。Ithrewdownmysuit-caseandpursuedithotfoot。AfterIhadruntwentyyardsandseenitdisappear，Isatdownonthegrassandweptdisconsolately。 \"Ican’tcatcharabbitanymore，\"Isobbed。\"I’mofnofurtheruseintheworld。Imayaswellbedead。\" \"Oh，whatisit——whatisit，BrotherJohn？\"IheardAmaryllissay。 \"Nervesalittleunstrung，\"saidJohn，inhiscalmway。\"Don’tworry。 Getup，yourabbit-chaser，andcomeontothehousebeforethebiscuitsgetcold。\"Itwasabouttwilight，andthemountainscameupnoblytoMissMurfree’sdescriptionsofthem。 SoonafterdinnerIannouncedthatIbelievedIcouldsleepforayearortwo，includinglegalholidays。SoIwasshowntoaroomasbigandcoolasaflowergarden，wheretherewasabedasbroadasalawn。Soonafterwardtheremainderofthehouseholdretired，andthentherefelluponthelandasilence。 Ihadnotheardasilencebeforeinyears。Itwasabsolute。Iraisedmyselfonmyelbowandlistenedtoit。Sleep！IthoughtthatifIonlycouldhearastartwinkleorabladeofgrasssharpenitselfIcouldcomposemyselftorest。IthoughtoncethatIheardasoundlikethesailofacatboatflappingasitveeredaboutinabreeze，butIdecidedthatitwasprobablyonlyatackinthecarpet。StillIlistened。 Suddenlysomebelatedlittlebirdalighteduponthewindow-sill，and，inwhathenodoubtconsideredsleepytones，enunciatedthenoisegenerallytranslatedas\"cheep！\" Ileapedintotheair。 \"Hey！what’sthematterdownthere？\"calledJohnfromhisroomabovemine。 \"Oh，nothing，\"Ianswered，\"exceptthatIaccidentallybumpedmyheadagainsttheceiling。\" ThenextmorningIwentoutontheporchandlookedatthemountains。 Therewereforty-sevenoftheminsight。Ishuddered，wentintothebighallsittingroomofthehouse，selected\"Pancoast’sFamilyPracticeofMedicine\"fromabookcase，andbegantoread。Johncamein，tookthebookawayfromme，andledmeoutside。Hehasafarmofthreehundredacresfurnishedwiththeusualcomplementofbarns，mules，peasantry，andharrowswiththreefrontteethbrokenoff。Ihadseensuchthingsinmychildhood，andmyheartbegantosink。 ThenJohnspokeofalfalfa，andIbrightenedatonce。\"Oh，yes，\"saidI，\"wasn’tsheinthechorusof——let’ssee——\" \"Green，youknow，\"saidJohn，\"andtender，andyouplowitunderafterthefirstseason。\" \"Iknow，\"saidI，\"andthegrassgrowsoverher。\" \"Right，\"saidJohn。\"Youknowsomethingaboutfarming，afterall。\" \"Iknowsomethingofsomefarmers，\"saidI，\"andasurescythewillmowthemdownsomeday。\" Onthewaybacktothehouseabeautifulandinexplicablecreaturewalkedacrossourpath。Istoppedirresistiblyfascinated，gazingatit。Johnwaitedpatiently，smokinghiscigarette。Heisamodernfarmer。Aftertenminuteshesaid：\"Areyougoingtostandtherelookingatthatchickenallday？Breakfastisnearlyready。\" \"Achicken？\"saidI。 \"AWhiteOrpingtonhen，ifyouwanttoparticularize。\" \"AWhiteOrpingtonhen？\"Irepeated，withintenseinterest。Thefowlwalkedslowlyawaywithgracefuldignity，andIfollowedlikeachildafterthePiedPiper。FiveminutesmorewereallowedmebyJohn，andthenhetookmebythesleeveandconductedmetobreakfast。 AfterIhadbeenthereaweekIbegantogrowalarmed。Iwassleepingandeatingwellandactuallybeginningtoenjoylife。Foramaninmydesperateconditionthatwouldneverdo。SoIsneakeddowntothetrolley-carstation，tookthecarforPineville，andwenttoseeoneofthebestphysiciansintown。BythistimeIknewexactlywhattodowhenIneededmedicaltreatment。Ihungmyhatonthebackofachair，andsaidrapidly： \"Doctor，Ihavecirrhosisoftheheart，induratedarteries，neurasthenia，neuritis，acuteindigestion，andconvalescence。Iamgoingtoliveonastrictdiet。Ishallalsotakeatepidbathatnightandacoldoneinthemorning。Ishallendeavourtobecheerful，andfixmymindonpleasantsubjects。InthewayofdrugsIintendtotakeaphosphorouspillthreetimesaday，preferablyaftermeals，andatoniccomposedofthetincturesofgentian，cinchona，calisaya，andcardamomcompound。IntoeachteaspoonfulofthisIshallmixtinctureofnuxvomica，beginningwithonedropandincreasingitadropeachdayuntilthemaximumdoseisreached。Ishalldropthiswithamedicine-dropper，whichcanbeprocuredatatriflingcostatanypharmacy。Goodmorning。\" Itookmyhatandwalkedout。AfterIhadclosedthedoorIrememberedsomethingthatIhadforgottentosay。Iopeneditagain。Thedoctorhadnotmovedfromwherehehadbeensitting，buthegaveaslightlynervousstartwhenhesawmeagain。 \"Iforgottomention，\"saidI，\"thatIshallalsotakeabsoluterestandexercise。 AfterthisconsultationIfeltmuchbetter。ThereestablishinginmymindofthefactthatIwashopelesslyillgavemesomuchsatisfactionthatI almostbecamegloomyagain。Thereisnothingmorealarmingtoaneurasthenicthantofeelhimselfgrowingwellandcheerful。 Johnlookedaftermecarefully。AfterIhadevincedsomuchinterestinhisWhiteOrpingtonchickenhetriedhisbesttodivertmymind，andwasparticulartolockhishenhouseofnights。Graduallythetonicmountainair，thewholesomefood，andthedailywalksamongthehillssoalleviatedmymaladythatIbecameutterlywretchedanddespondent。Iheardofacountrydoctorwholivedinthemountainsnearby。Iwenttoseehimandtoldhimthewholestory。Hewasagray-beardedmanwithclear，blue，wrinkledeyes，inahome-madesuitofgrayjeans。 InordertosavetimeIdiagnosedmycase，touchedmynosewithmyrightforefinger，struckmyselfbelowthekneetomakemyfootkick，soundedmychest，stuckoutmytongue，andaskedhimthepriceofcemeterylotsinPineville。 Helithispipeandlookedatmeforaboutthreeminutes。\"Brother，\"hesaid，afterawhile，\"youareinamightybadway。There’sachanceforyoutopullthrough，butit’samightyslimone。\" \"Whatcanitbe？\"Iaskedeagerly。\"Ihavetakenarsenicandgold，phosphorus，exercise，nuxvomica，hydrotherapeuticbaths，rest，excitement，codein，andaromaticspiritsofammonia。Isthereanythingleftinthepharmacopoeia？\" \"Somewhereinthesemountains，\"saidthedoctor，\"there’saplantgrowing——afloweringplantthat’llcureyou，andit’sabouttheonlythingthatwill。It’sofakindthat’sasoldastheworld；butoflateit’spowerfulscarceandhardtofind。YouandIwillhavetohuntitup。I’mnotengagedinactivepracticenow：I’mgettingalonginyears；butI’lltakeyourcase。You’llhavetocomeeverydayintheafternoonandhelpmehuntforthisplanttillwefindit。Thecitydoctorsmayknowalotaboutnewscientificthings，buttheydon’tknowmuchaboutthecuresthatnaturecarriesaroundinhersaddlebags。\"