Fortunatelyforus-wehavingnodesiretobekepthangingaboutcoroners\'courts-somemenonthebankhadseenthebodytoo，andnowtookchargeofitfromus。
Wefoundoutthewoman\'sstoryafterwards。Ofcourseitwastheold，oldvulgartragedy。Shehadlovedandbeendeceived-orhaddeceivedherself。Anyhow，shehadsinned-someofusdonowandthen-andherfamilyandfriends，naturallyshockedandindignant，hadclosedtheirdoorsagainsther。
Lefttofighttheworldalone，withthemillstoneofhershamearoundherneck，shehadsunkeverlowerandlower。Forawhileshehadkeptbothherselfandthechildonthetwelveshillingsaweekthattwelvehours\'
drudgeryadayprocuredher，payingsixshillingsoutofitforthechild，andkeepingherownbodyandsoultogetherontheremainder。
Sixshillingsaweekdoesnotkeepbodyandsoultogetherveryunitedly。
Theywanttogetawayfromeachotherwhenthereisonlysuchaveryslightbondasthatbetweenthem；andoneday，Isuppose，thepainandthedullmonotonyofitallhadstoodbeforehereyesplainerthanusual，andthemockingspectrehadfrightenedher。Shehadmadeonelastappealtofriends，but，againstthechillwalloftheirrespectability，thevoiceoftheerringoutcastfellunheeded；andthenshehadgonetoseeherchild-hadhelditinherarmsandkissedit，inaweary，dullsortofway，andwithoutbetrayinganyparticularemotionofanykind，andhadleftit，afterputtingintoitshandapennyboxofchocolateshehadboughtit，andafterwards，withherlastfewshillings，hadtakenaticketandcomedowntoGoring。
ItseemedthatthebitterestthoughtsofherlifemusthavecentredaboutthewoodedreachesandthebrightgreenmeadowsaroundGoring；butwomenstrangelyhugtheknifethatstabsthem，and，perhaps，amidstthegall，theremayhavemingledalsosunnymemoriesofsweetesthours，spentuponthoseshadoweddeepsoverwhichthegreattreesbendtheirbranchesdownsolow。
Shehadwanderedaboutthewoodsbytheriver\'sbrinkallday，andthen，wheneveningfellandthegreytwilightspreaditsduskyrobeuponthewaters，shestretchedherarmsouttothesilentriverthathadknownhersorrowandherjoy。Andtheoldriverhadtakenherintoitsgentlearms，andhadlaidherwearyheaduponitsbosom，andhadhushedawaythepain。
Thushadshesinnedinallthings-sinnedinlivingandindying。Godhelpher！andallothersinners，ifanymoretherebe。
GoringontheleftbankandStreatleyontherightarebothoreithercharmingplacestostayatforafewdays。ThereachesdowntoPangbournewoooneforasunnysailorforamoonlightrow，andthecountryroundaboutisfullofbeauty。WehadintendedtopushontoWallingfordthatday，butthesweetsmilingfaceoftheriverhereluredustolingerforawhile；andsoweleftourboatatthebridge，andwentupintoStreatley，andlunchedatthe\"Bull，\"muchtoMontmorency\'ssatisfaction。
TheysaythatthehillsoneachrideofthestreamhereoncejoinedandformedabarrieracrosswhatisnowtheThames，andthatthentheriverendedthereaboveGoringinonevastlake。Iamnotinapositioneithertocontradictoraffirmthisstatement。Isimplyofferit。
Itisanancientplace，Streatley，datingback，likemostriver-sidetownsandvillages，toBritishandSaxontimes。GoringisnotnearlysoprettyalittlespottostopatasStreatley，ifyouhaveyourchoice；
butitispassingfairenoughinitsway，andisnearertherailwayincaseyouwanttoslipoffwithoutpayingyourhotelbill。
CHAPTERXVII。
WASHINGDAY-FISHANDFISHERS-ONTHEARTOFANGLING-A
CONSCIENTIOUSFLY-FISHER-AFISHYSTORY。
WEstayedtwodaysatStreatley，andgotourclotheswashed。Wehadtriedwashingthemourselves，intheriver，underGeorge\'ssuperintendence，andithadbeenafailure。Indeed，ithadbeenmorethanafailure，becausewewereworseoffafterwehadwashedourclothesthanwewerebefore。Beforewehadwashedthem，theyhadbeenvery，verydirty，itistrue；buttheywerejustwearable。AFTERwehadwashedthem-well，theriverbetweenReadingandHenleywasmuchcleaner，afterwehadwashedourclothesinit，thanitwasbefore。AllthedirtcontainedintheriverbetweenReadingandHenley，wecollected，duringthatwash，andworkeditintoourclothes。
ThewasherwomanatStreatleysaidshefeltsheowedittoherselftochargeusjustthreetimestheusualpricesforthatwash。Shesaidithadnotbeenlikewashing，ithadbeenmoreinthenatureofexcavating。
Wepaidthebillwithoutamurmur。
TheneighbourhoodofStreatleyandGoringisagreatfishingcentre。
Thereissomeexcellentfishingtobehadhere。Theriveraboundsinpike，roach，dace，gudgeon，andeels，justhere；andyoucansitandfishforthemallday。
Somepeopledo。Theynevercatchthem。Ineverknewanybodycatchanything，uptheThames，exceptminnowsanddeadcats，butthathasnothingtodo，ofcourse，withfishing！Thelocalfisherman\'sguidedoesn\'tsayawordaboutcatchinganything。Allitsaysistheplaceis\"agoodstationforfishing；\"and，fromwhatIhaveseenofthedistrict，Iamquitepreparedtobearoutthisstatement。
Thereisnospotintheworldwhereyoucangetmorefishing，orwhereyoucanfishforalongerperiod。Somefishermencomehereandfishforaday，andothersstopandfishforamonth。Youcanhangonandfishforayear，ifyouwantto：itwillbeallthesame。
TheANGLER\'SGUIDETOTHETHAMESsaysthat\"jackandpercharealsotobehadabouthere，\"buttheretheANGLER\'SGUIDEiswrong。JackandperchmayBEaboutthere。Indeed，Iknowforafactthattheyare。YoucanSEEthemthereinshoals，whenyouareoutforawalkalongthebanks：
theycomeandstandhalfoutofthewaterwiththeirmouthsopenforbiscuits。And，ifyougoforabathe，theycrowdround，andgetinyourway，andirritateyou。Buttheyarenottobe\"had\"byabitofwormontheendofahook，noranythinglikeit-notthey！
Iamnotagoodfishermanmyself。Idevotedaconsiderableamountofattentiontothesubjectatonetime，andwasgettingon，asIthought，fairlywell；buttheoldhandstoldmethatIshouldneverbeanyrealgoodatit，andadvisedmetogiveitup。TheysaidthatIwasanextremelyneatthrower，andthatIseemedtohaveplentyofgumptionforthething，andquiteenoughconstitutionallaziness。ButtheyweresureIshouldnevermakeanythingofafisherman。Ihadnotgotsufficientimagination。
Theysaidthatasapoet，orashillingshocker，orareporter，oranythingofthatkind，Imightbesatisfactory，butthat，togainanypositionasaThamesangler，wouldrequiremoreplayoffancy，morepowerofinventionthanIappearedtopossess。
Somepeopleareundertheimpressionthatallthatisrequiredtomakeagoodfishermanistheabilitytotelllieseasilyandwithoutblushing；
butthisisamistake。Merebaldfabricationisuseless；theveriesttyrocanmanagethat。Itisinthecircumstantialdetail，theembellishingtouchesofprobability，thegeneralairofscrupulous-
almostofpedantic-veracity，thattheexperiencedanglerisseen。
Anybodycancomeinandsay，\"Oh，Icaughtfifteendozenperchyesterdayevening；\"or\"LastMondayIlandedagudgeon，weighingeighteenpounds，andmeasuringthreefeetfromthetiptothetail。\"
Thereisnoart，noskill，requiredforthatsortofthing。Itshowspluck，butthatisall。
No；youraccomplishedanglerwouldscorntotellalie，thatway。Hismethodisastudyinitself。
Hecomesinquietlywithhishaton，appropriatesthemostcomfortablechair，lightshispipe，andcommencestopuffinsilence。Heletstheyoungstersbragawayforawhile，andthen，duringamomentarylull，heremovesthepipefromhismouth，andremarks，asheknockstheashesoutagainstthebars：
\"Well，IhadahaulonTuesdayeveningthatit\'snotmuchgoodmytellinganybodyabout。\"
\"Oh！why\'sthat？\"theyask。
\"BecauseIdon\'texpectanybodywouldbelievemeifIdid，\"repliestheoldfellowcalmly，andwithoutevenatingeofbitternessinhistone，asherefillshispipe，andrequeststhelandlordtobringhimthreeofScotch，cold。
Thereisapauseafterthis，nobodyfeelingsufficientlysureofhimselftocontradicttheoldgentleman。Sohehastogoonbyhimselfwithoutanyencouragement。
\"No，\"hecontinuesthoughtfully；\"Ishouldn\'tbelieveitmyselfifanybodytoldittome，butit\'safact，forallthat。Ihadbeensittingtherealltheafternoonandhadcaughtliterallynothing-exceptafewdozendaceandascoreofjack；andIwasjustaboutgivingitupasabadjobwhenIsuddenlyfeltarathersmartpullattheline。Ithoughtitwasanotherlittleone，andIwenttojerkitup。Hangme，ifIcouldmovetherod！Ittookmehalf-an-hour-half-an-hour，sir！-tolandthatfish；andeverymomentIthoughtthelinewasgoingtosnap！I
reachedhimatlast，andwhatdoyouthinkitwas？Asturgeon！afortypoundsturgeon！takenonaline，sir！Yes，youmaywelllooksurprised-
I\'llhaveanotherthreeofScotch，landlord，please。\"
Andthenhegoesontotelloftheastonishmentofeverybodywhosawit；
andwhathiswifesaid，whenhegothome，andofwhatJoeBugglesthoughtaboutit。
Iaskedthelandlordofaninnuptheriveronce，ifitdidnotinjurehim，sometimes，listeningtothetalesthatthefishermenabouttheretoldhim；andhesaid：
\"Oh，no；notnow，sir。Itdidusedtoknockmeoverabitatfirst，but，lorloveyou！meandthemissuswelistensto`emalldaynow。It\'swhatyou\'reusedto，youknow。It\'swhatyou\'reusedto。\"
Iknewayoungmanonce，hewasamostconscientiousfellow，and，whenhetooktofly-fishing，hedeterminednevertoexaggeratehishaulsbymorethantwenty-fivepercent。
\"WhenIhavecaughtfortyfish，\"saidhe，\"thenIwilltellpeoplethatI
havecaughtfifty，andsoon。ButIwillnotlieanymorethanthat，becauseitissinfultolie。\"
Butthetwenty-fivepercent。plandidnotworkwellatall。Heneverwasabletouseit。Thegreatestnumberoffishheevercaughtinonedaywasthree，andyoucan\'taddtwenty-fivepercent。tothree-atleast，notinfish。
Soheincreasedhispercentagetothirty-three-and-a-third；butthat，again，wasawkward，whenhehadonlycaughtoneortwo；so，tosimplifymatters，hemadeuphismindtojustdoublethequantity。
Hestucktothisarrangementforacoupleofmonths，andthenhegrewdissatisfiedwithit。Nobodybelievedhimwhenhetoldthemthatheonlydoubled，andhe，therefore，gainednocreditthatwaywhatever，whilehismoderationputhimatadisadvantageamongtheotheranglers。Whenhehadreallycaughtthreesmallfish，andsaidhehadcaughtsix，itusedtomakehimquitejealoustohearaman，whomheknewforafacthadonlycaughtone，goingabouttellingpeoplehehadlandedtwodozen。
So，eventually，hemadeonefinalarrangementwithhimself，whichhehasreligiouslyheldtoeversince，andthatwastocounteachfishthathecaughtasten，andtoassumetentobeginwith。Forexample，ifhedidnotcatchanyfishatall，thenhesaidhehadcaughttenfish-youcouldnevercatchlessthantenfishbyhissystem；thatwasthefoundationofit。Then，ifbyanychancehereallydidcatchonefish，hecalledittwenty，whiletwofishwouldcountthirty，threeforty，andsoon。
Itisasimpleandeasilyworkedplan，andtherehasbeensometalklatelyofitsbeingmadeuseofbytheanglingfraternityingeneral。
Indeed，theCommitteeoftheThamesAngler\'sAssociationdidrecommenditsadoptionabouttwoyearsago，butsomeoftheoldermembersopposedit。Theysaidtheywouldconsidertheideaifthenumberweredoubled，andeachfishcountedastwenty。
Ifeveryouhaveaneveningtospare，uptheriver，Ishouldadviseyoutodropintooneofthelittlevillageinns，andtakeaseatinthetap-
room。Youwillbenearlysuretomeetoneortwooldrod-men，sippingtheirtoddythere，andtheywilltellyouenoughfishystories，inhalfanhour，togiveyouindigestionforamonth。
GeorgeandI-Idon\'tknowwhathadbecomeofHarris；hehadgoneoutandhadashave，earlyintheafternoon，andhadthencomebackandspentfullfortyminutesinpipeclayinghisshoes，wehadnotseenhimsince-
GeorgeandI，therefore，andthedog，lefttoourselves，wentforawalktoWallingfordonthesecondevening，and，cominghome，wecalledinatalittleriver-sideinn，forarest，andotherthings。
Wewentintotheparlourandsatdown。Therewasanoldfellowthere，smokingalongclaypipe，andwenaturallybeganchatting。
Hetoldusthatithadbeenafinedayto-day，andwetoldhimthatithadbeenafinedayyesterday，andthenwealltoldeachotherthatwethoughtitwouldbeafinedayto-morrow；andGeorgesaidthecropsseemedtobecomingupnicely。
Afterthatitcameout，somehoworother，thatwewerestrangersintheneighbourhood，andthatweweregoingawaythenextmorning。
Thenapauseensuedintheconversation，duringwhichoureyeswanderedroundtheroom。Theyfinallyresteduponadustyoldglass-case，fixedveryhighupabovethechimney-piece，andcontainingatrout。Itratherfascinatedme，thattrout；itwassuchamonstrousfish。Infact，atfirstglance，Ithoughtitwasacod。
\"Ah！\"saidtheoldgentleman，followingthedirectionofmygaze，\"finefellowthat，ain\'the？\"
\"Quiteuncommon，\"Imurmured；andGeorgeaskedtheoldmanhowmuchhethoughtitweighed。
\"Eighteenpoundssixounces，\"saidourfriend，risingandtakingdownhiscoat。\"Yes，\"hecontinued，\"itwursixteenyearago，comethethirdo\'
nextmonth，thatIlandedhim。Icaughthimjustbelowthebridgewithaminnow。Theytoldmehewurintheriver，andIsaidI\'dhavehim，andsoIdid。Youdon\'tseemanyfishthatsizeaboutherenow，I\'mthinking。Good-night，gentlemen，good-night。\"
Andouthewent，andleftusalone。
Wecouldnottakeoureyesoffthefishafterthat。Itreallywasaremarkablyfinefish。Wewerestilllookingatit，whenthelocalcarrier，whohadjuststoppedattheinn，cametothedooroftheroomwithapotofbeerinhishand，andhealsolookedatthefish。
\"Good-sizedtrout，that，\"saidGeorge，turningroundtohim。
\"Ah！youmaywellsaythat，sir，\"repliedtheman；andthen，afterapullathisbeer，headded，\"Maybeyouwasn\'there，sir，whenthatfishwascaught？\"
\"No，\"wetoldhim。Wewerestrangersintheneighbourhood。
\"Ah！\"saidthecarrier，\"then，ofcourse，howshouldyou？ItwasnearlyfiveyearsagothatIcaughtthattrout。\"
\"Oh！wasityouwhocaughtit，then？\"saidI。
\"Yes，sir，\"repliedthegenialoldfellow。\"Icaughthimjustbelowthelock-leastways，whatwasthelockthen-oneFridayafternoon；andtheremarkablethingaboutitisthatIcaughthimwithafly。I\'dgoneoutpikefishing，blessyou，neverthinkingofatrout，andwhenIsawthatwhopperontheendofmyline，blestifitdidn\'tquitetakemeaback。
Well，yousee，heweighedtwenty-sixpound。Good-night，gentlemen，good-
night。\"
Fiveminutesafterwards，athirdmancamein，anddescribedhowhehadcaughtitearlyonemorning，withbleak；andthenheleft，andastolid，solemn-looking，middle-agedindividualcamein，andsatdownoverbythewindow。
Noneofusspokeforawhile；but，atlength，Georgeturnedtothenewcomer，andsaid：
\"Ibegyourpardon，Ihopeyouwillforgivethelibertythatwe-perfectstrangersintheneighbourhood-aretaking，butmyfriendhereandmyselfwouldbesomuchobligedifyouwouldtellushowyoucaughtthattroutupthere。\"
\"Why，whotoldyouIcaughtthattrout！\"wasthesurprisedquery。
Wesaidthatnobodyhadtoldusso，butsomehoworotherwefeltinstinctivelythatitwashewhohaddoneit。
\"Well，it\'samostremarkablething-mostremarkable，\"answeredthestolidstranger，laughing；\"because，asamatteroffact，youarequiteright。Ididcatchit。Butfancyyourguessingitlikethat。Dearme，it\'sreallyamostremarkablething。\"
Andthenhewenton，andtoldushowithadtakenhimhalfanhourtolandit，andhowithadbrokenhisrod。Hesaidhehadweigheditcarefullywhenhereachedhome，andithadturnedthescaleatthirty-
fourpounds。
Hewentinhisturn，andwhenhewasgone，thelandlordcameintous。
Wetoldhimthevarioushistorieswehadheardabouthistrout，andhewasimmenselyamused，andwealllaughedveryheartily。
\"FancyJimBatesandJoeMugglesandMr。JonesandoldBillyMaundersalltellingyouthattheyhadcaughtit。Ha！ha！ha！Well，thatisgood，\"
saidthehonestoldfellow，laughingheartily。\"Yes，theyarethesorttogiveitME，toputupinMYparlour，ifTHEYhadcaughtit，theyare！
Ha！ha！ha！\"
Andthenhetoldustherealhistoryofthefish。Itseemedthathehadcaughtithimself，yearsago，whenhewasquitealad；notbyanyartorskill，butbythatunaccountableluckthatappearstoalwayswaituponaboywhenheplaysthewagfromschool，andgoesoutfishingonasunnyafternoon，withabitofstringtiedontotheendofatree。
Hesaidthatbringinghomethattrouthadsavedhimfromawhacking，andthatevenhisschool-masterhadsaiditwasworththerule-of-threeandpracticeputtogether。
Hewascalledoutoftheroomatthispoint，andGeorgeandIagainturnedourgazeuponthefish。
Itreallywasamostastonishingtrout。Themorewelookedatit，themorewemarvelledatit。
ItexcitedGeorgesomuchthatheclimbeduponthebackofachairtogetabetterviewofit。
Andthenthechairslipped，andGeorgeclutchedwildlyatthetrout-casetosavehimself，anddownitcamewithacrash，Georgeandthechairontopofit。
\"Youhaven\'tinjuredthefish，haveyou？\"Icriedinalarm，rushingup。
\"Ihopenot，\"saidGeorge，risingcautiouslyandlookingabout。
Buthehad。Thattroutlayshatteredintoathousandfragments-Isayathousand，buttheymayhaveonlybeenninehundred。Ididnotcountthem。
Wethoughtitstrangeandunaccountablethatastuffedtroutshouldbreakupintolittlepieceslikethat。
Andsoitwouldhavebeenstrangeandunaccountable，ifithadbeenastuffedtrout，butitwasnot。
Thattroutwasplaster-of-Paris。
CHAPTERXVIII。
LOCKS-GEORGEANDIAREPHOTOGRAPHED-WALLINGFORD-DORCHESTER-
ABINGDON-AFAMILYMAN-AGOODSPOTFORDROWNING-ADIFFICULTBIT
OFWATER-DEMORALIZINGEFFECTOFRIVERAIR。
WEleftStreatleyearlythenextmorning，andpulleduptoCulham，andsleptunderthecanvas，inthebackwaterthere。
TheriverisnotextraordinarilyinterestingbetweenStreatleyandWallingford。FromCleveyougetastretchofsixandahalfmileswithoutalock。IbelievethisisthelongestuninterruptedstretchanywhereaboveTeddington，andtheOxfordClubmakeuseofitfortheirtrialeights。
Buthoweversatisfactorythisabsenceoflocksmaybetorowing-men，itistoberegrettedbythemerepleasure-seeker。
Formyself，Iamfondoflocks。Theypleasantlybreakthemonotonyofthepull。Ilikesittingintheboatandslowlyrisingoutofthecooldepthsupintonewreachesandfreshviews；orsinkingdown，asitwere，outoftheworld，andthenwaiting，whilethegloomygatescreak，andthenarrowstripofday-lightbetweenthemwidenstillthefairsmilingriverliesfullbeforeyou，andyoupushyourlittleboatoutfromitsbriefprisonontothewelcomingwatersonceagain。
Theyarepicturesquelittlespots，theselocks。Thestoutoldlock-
keeper，orhischeerful-lookingwife，orbright-eyeddaughter，arepleasantfolktohaveapassingchatwith。*Youmeetotherboatsthere，andrivergossipisexchanged。TheThameswouldnotbethefairylanditiswithoutitsflower-deckedlocks。
*OrratherWERE。TheConservancyoflateseemstohaveconstituteditselfintoasocietyfortheemploymentofidiots。Agoodmanyofthenewlock-keepers，especiallyinthemorecrowdedportionsoftheriver，areexcitable，nervousoldmen，quiteunfittedfortheirpost。
TalkingoflocksremindsmeofanaccidentGeorgeandIverynearlyhadonesummer\'smorningatHamptonCourt。
Itwasagloriousday，andthelockwascrowded；and，asisacommonpracticeuptheriver，aspeculativephotographerwastakingapictureofusallaswelayupontherisingwaters。
Ididnotcatchwhatwasgoingonatfirst，andwas，therefore，extremelysurprisedatnoticingGeorgehurriedlysmoothouthistrousers，ruffleuphishair，andstickhiscaponinarakishmanneratthebackofhishead，andthen，assuminganexpressionofmingledaffabilityandsadness，sitdowninagracefulattitude，andtrytohidehisfeet。
Myfirstideawasthathehadsuddenlycaughtsightofsomegirlheknew，andIlookedabouttoseewhoitwas。Everybodyinthelockseemedtohavebeensuddenlystruckwooden。TheywereallstandingorsittingaboutinthemostquaintandcuriousattitudesIhaveeverseenoffaJapanesefan。Allthegirlsweresmiling。Oh，theydidlooksosweet！
Andallthefellowswerefrowning，andlookingsternandnoble。
Andthen，atlast，thetruthflashedacrossme，andIwonderedifI
shouldbeintime。Ourswasthefirstboat，anditwouldbeunkindofmetospoiltheman\'spicture，Ithought。
SoIfacedroundquickly，andtookupapositionintheprow，whereI
leantwithcarelessgraceuponthehitcher，inanattitudesuggestiveofagilityandstrength。Iarrangedmyhairwithacurlovertheforehead，andthrewanairoftenderwistfulnessintomyexpression，mingledwithatouchofcynicism，whichIamtoldsuitsme。
Aswestood，waitingfortheeventfulmoment，Iheardsomeonebehindcallout：
\"Hi！lookatyournose。\"
Icouldnotturnroundtoseewhatwasthematter，andwhosenoseitwasthatwastobelookedat。Istoleaside-glanceatGeorge\'snose！Itwasallright-atallevents，therewasnothingwrongwithitthatcouldbealtered。Isquinteddownatmyown，andthatseemedallthatcouldbeexpectedalso。
\"Lookatyournose，youstupidass！\"camethesamevoiceagain，louder。
Andthenanothervoicecried：
\"Pushyournoseout，can\'tyou，you-youtwowiththedog！\"
NeitherGeorgenorIdaredtoturnround。Theman\'shandwasonthecap，andthepicturemightbetakenanymoment。Wasitustheywerecallingto？Whatwasthematterwithournoses？Whyweretheytobepushedout！
Butnowthewholelockstartedyelling，andastentorianvoicefromthebackshouted：
\"Lookatyourboat，sir；youintheredandblackcaps。It\'syourtwocorpsesthatwillgettakeninthatphoto，ifyouain\'tquick。\"
Welookedthen，andsawthatthenoseofourboathadgotfixedunderthewoodworkofthelock，whilethein-comingwaterwasrisingallaroundit，andtiltingitup。Inanothermomentweshouldbeover。Quickasthought，weeachseizedanoar，andavigorousblowagainstthesideofthelockwiththebutt-endsreleasedtheboat，andsentussprawlingonourbacks。
Wedidnotcomeoutwellinthatphotograph，GeorgeandI。Ofcourse，aswastobeexpected，ourluckordainedit，thatthemanshouldsethiswretchedmachineinmotionattheprecisemomentthatwewerebothlyingonourbackswithawildexpressionof\"WhereamI？andwhatisit？\"onourfaces，andourfourfeetwavingmadlyintheair。
Ourfeetwereundoubtedlytheleadingarticleinthatphotograph。
Indeed，verylittleelsewastobeseen。Theyfilleduptheforegroundentirely。Behindthem，youcaughtglimpsesoftheotherboats，andbitsofthesurroundingscenery；buteverythingandeverybodyelseinthelocklookedsoutterlyinsignificantandpaltrycomparedwithourfeet，thatalltheotherpeoplefeltquiteashamedofthemselves，andrefusedtosubscribetothepicture。
Theownerofonesteamlaunch，whohadbespokesixcopies，rescindedtheorderonseeingthenegative。Hesaidhewouldtakethemifanybodycouldshowhimhislaunch，butnobodycould。ItwassomewherebehindGeorge\'srightfoot。
Therewasagooddealofunpleasantnessoverthebusiness。Thephotographerthoughtweoughttotakeadozencopieseach，seeingthatthephotowasaboutnine-tenthsus，butwedeclined。Wesaidwehadnoobjectiontobeingphoto\'dfull-length，butwepreferredbeingtakentherightwayup。
Wallingford，sixmilesaboveStreatley，isaveryancienttown，andhasbeenanactivecentreforthemakingofEnglishhistory。Itwasarude，mud-builttowninthetimeoftheBritons，whosquattedthere，untiltheRomanlegionsevictedthem；andreplacedtheirclay-bakedwallsbymightyfortifications，thetraceofwhichTimehasnotyetsucceededinsweepingaway，sowellthoseold-worldmasonsknewhowtobuild。
ButTime，thoughhehaltedatRomanwalls，sooncrumbledRomanstodust；
andontheground，inlateryears，foughtsavageSaxonsandhugeDanes，untiltheNormanscame。
ItwasawalledandfortifiedtownuptothetimeoftheParliamentaryWar，whenitsufferedalongandbittersiegefromFairfax。Itfellatlast，andthenthewallswererazed。
FromWallingforduptoDorchestertheneighbourhoodoftherivergrowsmorehilly，varied，andpicturesque。Dorchesterstandshalfamilefromtheriver。ItcanbereachedbypaddlinguptheThame，ifyouhaveasmallboat；butthebestwayistoleavetheriveratDay\'sLock，andtakeawalkacrossthefields。Dorchesterisadelightfullypeacefuloldplace，nestlinginstillnessandsilenceanddrowsiness。
Dorchester，likeWallingford，wasacityinancientBritishtimes；itwasthencalledCaerDoren，\"thecityonthewater。\"InmorerecenttimestheRomansformedagreatcamphere，thefortificationssurroundingwhichnowseemlikelow，evenhills。InSaxondaysitwasthecapitalofWessex。Itisveryold，anditwasverystrongandgreatonce。Nowitsitsasidefromthestirringworld，andnodsanddreams。
RoundCliftonHampden，itselfawonderfullyprettyvillage，old-
fashioned，peaceful，anddaintywithflowers，theriversceneryisrichandbeautiful。IfyoustaythenightonlandatClifton，youcannotdobetterthanputupatthe\"BarleyMow。\"Itis，withoutexception，I
shouldsay，thequaintest，mostold-worldinnuptheriver。Itstandsontherightofthebridge，quiteawayfromthevillage。Itslow-pitchedgablesandthatchedroofandlatticedwindowsgiveitquiteastory-bookappearance，whileinsideitisevenstillmoreonce-upon-a-timeyfied。
Itwouldnotbeagoodplacefortheheroineofamodernnoveltostayat。Theheroineofamodernnovelisalways\"divinelytall，\"andsheisever\"drawingherselfuptoherfullheight。\"Atthe\"BarleyMow\"shewouldbumpherheadagainsttheceilingeachtimeshedidthis。
Itwouldalsobeabadhouseforadrunkenmantoputupat。Therearetoomanysurprisesinthewayofunexpectedstepsdownintothisroomandupintothat；andasforgettingupstairstohisbedroom，oreverfindinghisbedwhenhegotup，eitheroperationwouldbeanutterimpossibilitytohim。
Wewereupearlythenextmorning，aswewantedtobeinOxfordbytheafternoon。Itissurprisinghowearlyonecangetup，whencampingout。
Onedoesnotyearnfor\"justanotherfiveminutes\"nearlysomuch，lyingwrappedupinarugontheboardsofaboat，withaGladstonebagforapillow，asonedoesinafeatherbed。Wehadfinishedbreakfast，andwerethroughCliftonLockbyhalf-pasteight。
FromCliftontoCulhamtheriverbanksareflat，monotonous，anduninteresting，but，afteryougetthroughCulhalmLock-thecoldestanddeepestlockontheriver-thelandscapeimproves。
AtAbingdon，theriverpassesbythestreets。Abingdonisatypicalcountrytownofthesmallerorder-quiet，eminentlyrespectable，clean，anddesperatelydull。Itpridesitselfonbeingold，butwhetheritcancompareinthisrespectwithWallingfordandDorchesterseemsdoubtful。
Afamousabbeystoodhereonce，andwithinwhatisleftofitssanctifiedwallstheybrewbitteralenowadays。
InSt。NicholasChurch，atAbingdon，thereisamonumenttoJohnBlackwallandhiswifeJane，whoboth，afterleadingahappymarriedlife，diedontheverysameday，August21，1625；andinSt。Helen\'sChurch，itisrecordedthatW。Lee，whodiedin1637，\"hadinhislifetimeissuefromhisloinstwohundredlackingbutthree。\"IfyouworkthisoutyouwillfindthatMr。W。Lee\'sfamilynumberedonehundredandninety-seven。Mr。W。Lee-fivetimesMayorofAbingdon-was，nodoubt，abenefactortohisgeneration，butIhopetherearenotmanyofhiskindaboutinthisovercrowdednineteenthcentury。
FromAbingdontoNunehamCourteneyisalovelystretch。NunehamParkiswellworthavisit。ItcanbeviewedonTuesdaysandThursdays。Thehousecontainsafinecollectionofpicturesandcuriosities，andthegroundsareverybeautiful。
ThepoolunderSandfordlasher，justbehindthelock，isaverygoodplacetodrownyourselfin。Theundercurrentisterriblystrong，andifyouoncegetdownintoityouareallright。Anobeliskmarksthespotwheretwomenhavealreadybeendrowned，whilebathingthere；andthestepsoftheobeliskaregenerallyusedasadiving-boardbyyoungmennowwhowishtoseeiftheplacereallyISdangerous。
IffleyLockandMill，amilebeforeyoureachOxford，isafavouritesubjectwiththeriver-lovingbrethrenofthebrush。Therealarticle，however，isratherdisappointing，afterthepictures。Fewthings，Ihavenoticed，comequiteuptothepicturesofthem，inthisworld。
WepassedthroughIffleyLockatabouthalf-pasttwelve，andthen，havingtidieduptheboatandmadeallreadyforlanding，wesettoworkonourlastmile。
BetweenIffleyandOxfordisthemostdifficultbitoftheriverIknow。
Youwanttobebornonthatbitofwater，tounderstandit。Ihavebeenoveritafairishnumberoftimes，butIhaveneverbeenabletogetthehangofit。ThemanwhocouldrowastraightcoursefromOxfordtoIffleyoughttobeabletolivecomfortably，underoneroof，withhiswife，hismother-in-law，hiseldersister，andtheoldservantwhowasinthefamilywhenhewasababy。
Firstthecurrentdrivesyouontotherightbank，andthenontotheleft，thenittakesyououtintothemiddle，turnsyouroundthreetimes，andcarriesyouupstreamagain，andalwaysendsbytryingtosmashyouupagainstacollegebarge。
Ofcourse，asaconsequenceofthis，wegotinthewayofagoodmanyotherboats，duringthemile，andtheyinours，and，ofcourse，asaconsequenceofthat，agooddealofbadlanguageoccurred。
Idon\'tknowwhyitshouldbe，buteverybodyisalwayssoexceptionallyirritableontheriver。Littlemishaps，thatyouwouldhardlynoticeondryland，driveyounearlyfranticwithrage，whentheyoccuronthewater。WhenHarrisorGeorgemakesanassofhimselfondryland，I
smileindulgently；whentheybehaveinachuckle-headwayontheriver，I
usethemostblood-curdlinglanguagetothem。Whenanotherboatgetsinmyway，IfeelIwanttotakeanoarandkillallthepeopleinit。
Themildesttemperedpeople，whenonland，becomeviolentandblood-
thirstywheninaboat。Ididalittleboatingoncewithayounglady。
Shewasnaturallyofthesweetestandgentlestdispositionimaginable，butontheriveritwasquiteawfultohearher。
\"Oh，drattheman！\"shewouldexclaim，whensomeunfortunatescullerwouldgetinherway；\"whydon\'thelookwherehe\'sgoing？\"
And，\"Oh，botherthesillyoldthing！\"shewouldsayindignantly，whenthesailwouldnotgoupproperly。Andshewouldcatchholdofit，andshakeitquitebrutally。
Yet，asIhavesaid，whenonshoreshewaskind-heartedandamiableenough。
Theairoftheriverhasademoralisingeffectuponone\'stemper，andthisitis，Isuppose，whichcausesevenbargementobesometimesrudetooneanother，andtouselanguagewhich，nodoubt，intheircalmermomentstheyregret。
CHAPTERXIX。
OXFORD-MONTMORENCY\'SIDEAOFHEAVEN-THEHIREDUP-RIVERBOAT，ITS
BEAUTIESANDADVANTAGES-THE\"PRIDEOFTHETHAMES。\"-THEWEATHER
CHANGES-THERIVERUNDERDIFFERENTASPECTS-NOTACHEERFULEVENING-
YEARNINGSFORTHEUNATTAINABLE-THECHEERYCHATGOESROUND-GEORGE
PERFORMSUPONTHEBANJO-AMOURNFULMELODY-ANOTHERWETDAY-
FLIGHT-ALITTLESUPPERANDATOAST。
WEspenttwoverypleasantdaysatOxford。ThereareplentyofdogsinthetownofOxford。Montmorencyhadelevenfightsonthefirstday，andfourteenonthesecond，andevidentlythoughthehadgottoheaven。
Amongfolktooconstitutionallyweak，ortooconstitutionallylazy，whicheveritmaybe，torelishup-streamwork，itisacommonpracticetogetaboatatOxford，androwdown。Fortheenergetic，however，theup-
streamjourneyiscertainlytobepreferred。Itdoesnotseemgoodtobealwaysgoingwiththecurrent。Thereismoresatisfactioninsquaringone\'sback，andfightingagainstit，andwinningone\'swayforwardinspiteofit-atleast，soIfeel，whenHarrisandGeorgearescullingandIamsteering。
TothosewhodocontemplatemakingOxfordtheirstarting-place，Iwouldsay，takeyourownboat-unless，ofcourse，youcantakesomeoneelse\'swithoutanypossibledangerofbeingfoundout。Theboatsthat，asarule，areletforhireontheThamesaboveMarlow，areverygoodboats。
Theyarefairlywater-tight；andsolongastheyarehandledwithcare，theyrarelycometopieces，orsink。Thereareplacesinthemtositdownon，andtheyarecompletewithallthenecessaryarrangements-ornearlyall-toenableyoutorowthemandsteerthem。
Buttheyarenotornamental。TheboatyouhireuptheriveraboveMarlowisnotthesortofboatinwhichyoucanflashaboutandgiveyourselfairs。Thehiredup-riverboatverysoonputsastoptoanynonsenseofthatsortonthepartofitsoccupants。Thatisitschief-onemaysay，itsonlyrecommendation。
Themaninthehiredup-riverboatismodestandretiring。Helikestokeepontheshadyside，underneaththetrees，andtodomostofhistravellingearlyinthemorningorlateatnight，whentherearenotmanypeopleaboutontherivertolookathim。
Whenthemaninthehiredup-riverboatseesanyoneheknows，hegetsoutontothebank，andhidesbehindatree。
Iwasoneofapartywhohiredanup-riverboatonesummer，forafewdays\'trip。Wehadnoneofuseverseenthehiredup-riverboatbefore；
andwedidnotknowwhatitwaswhenwedidseeit。
Wehadwrittenforaboat-adoublescullingskiff；andwhenwewentdownwithourbagstotheyard，andgaveournames，themansaid：
\"Oh，yes；you\'rethepartythatwroteforadoublescullingskiff。It\'sallright。Jim，fetchroundTHEPRIDEOFTHETHAMES。\"
Theboywent，andre-appearedfiveminutesafterwards，strugglingwithanantediluvianchunkofwood，thatlookedasthoughithadbeenrecentlydugoutofsomewhere，anddugoutcarelessly，soastohavebeenunnecessarilydamagedintheprocess。
Myownidea，onfirstcatchingsightoftheobject，wasthatitwasaRomanrelicofsomesort，-relicofWHATIdonotknow，possiblyofacoffin。
TheneighbourhoodoftheupperThamesisrichinRomanrelics，andmysurmiseseemedtomeaveryprobableone；butourseriousyoungman，whoisabitofageologist，pooh-poohedmyRomanrelictheory，andsaiditwascleartothemeanestintellect（inwhichcategoryheseemedtobegrievedthathecouldnotconscientiouslyincludemine）thatthethingtheboyhadfoundwasthefossilofawhale；andhepointedouttousvariousevidencesprovingthatitmusthavebelongedtothepreglacialperiod。
Tosettlethedispute，weappealedtotheboy。Wetoldhimnottobeafraid，buttospeaktheplaintruth：Wasitthefossilofapre-Adamitewhale，orwasitanearlyRomancoffin？
TheboysaiditwasTHEPRIDEOFTHETHAMES。
Wethoughtthisaveryhumorousansweronthepartoftheboyatfirst，andsomebodygavehimtwopenceasarewardforhisreadywit；butwhenhepersistedinkeepingupthejoke，aswethought，toolong，wegotvexedwithhim。
\"Come，come，mylad！\"saidourcaptainsharply，\"don\'tletushaveanynonsense。Youtakeyourmother\'swashing-tubhomeagain，andbringusaboat。\"
Theboat-builderhimselfcameupthen，andassuredus，onhisword，asapracticalman，thatthethingreallywasaboat-was，infact，THEboat，the\"doublescullingskiff\"selectedtotakeusonourtripdowntheriver。
Wegrumbledagooddeal。Wethoughthemight，atleast，havehaditwhitewashedortarred-hadSOMETHINGdonetoittodistinguishitfromabitofawreck；buthecouldnotseeanyfaultinit。
Heevenseemedoffendedatourremarks。Hesaidhehadpickedusoutthebestboatinallhisstock，andhethoughtwemighthavebeenmoregrateful。
Hesaidit，THEPRIDEOFTHETHAMES，hadbeeninuse，justasitnowstood（orratherasitnowhungtogether），forthelastfortyyears，tohisknowledge，andnobodyhadcomplainedofitbefore，andhedidnotseewhyweshouldbethefirsttobegin。
Wearguednomore。
Wefastenedtheso-calledboattogetherwithsomepiecesofstring，gotabitofwall-paperandpastedovertheshabbierplaces，saidourprayers，andsteppedonboard。
Theychargedusthirty-fiveshillingsfortheloanoftheremnantforsixdays；andwecouldhaveboughtthethingout-and-outforfour-and-
sixpenceatanysaleofdrift-woodroundthecoast。
Theweatherchangedonthethirdday，-Oh！Iamtalkingaboutourpresenttripnow，-andwestartedfromOxforduponourhomewardjourneyinthemidstofasteadydrizzle。
Theriver-withthesunlightflashingfromitsdancingwavelets，gildinggoldthegrey-greenbeech-trunks，glintingthroughthedark，coolwoodpaths，chasingshadowso\'ertheshallows，flingingdiamondsfromthemill-wheels，throwingkissestothelilies，wantoningwiththeweirs\'
whitewaters，silveringmoss-grownwallsandbridges，brighteningeverytinytownlet，makingsweeteachlaneandmeadow，lyingtangledintherushes，peeping，laughing，fromeachinlet，gleaminggayonmanyafarsail，makingsofttheairwithglory-isagoldenfairystream。
Buttheriver-chillandweary，withtheceaselessrain-dropsfallingonitsbrownandsluggishwaters，withasoundasofawoman，weepinglowinsomedarkchamber；whilethewoods，alldarkandsilent，shroudedintheirmistsofvapour，standlikeghostsuponthemargin；silentghostswitheyesreproachful，liketheghostsofevilactions，liketheghostsoffriendsneglected-isaspirit-hauntedwaterthroughthelandofvainregrets。
Sunlightisthelife-bloodofNature。MotherEarthlooksatuswithsuchdull，soullesseyes，whenthesunlighthasdiedawayfromoutofher。Itmakesussadtobewithherthen；shedoesnotseemtoknowusortocareforus。Sheisasawidowwhohaslostthehusbandsheloved，andherchildrentouchherhand，andlookupintohereyes，butgainnosmilefromher。
Werowedonallthatdaythroughtherain，andverymelancholyworkitwas。Wepretended，atfirst，thatweenjoyedit。Wesaiditwasachange，andthatwelikedtoseetheriverunderallitsdifferentaspects。Wesaidwecouldnotexpecttohaveitallsunshine，norshouldwewishit。WetoldeachotherthatNaturewasbeautiful，eveninhertears。
Indeed，HarrisandIwerequiteenthusiasticaboutthebusiness，forthefirstfewhours。Andwesangasongaboutagipsy\'slife，andhowdelightfulagipsy\'sexistencewas！-freetostormandsunshine，andtoeverywindthatblew！-andhowheenjoyedtherain，andwhatalotofgooditdidhim；andhowhelaughedatpeoplewhodidn\'tlikeit。
Georgetookthefunmoresoberly，andstucktotheumbrella。
Wehoistedthecoverbeforewehadlunch，andkeptitupalltheafternoon，justleavingalittlespaceinthebow，fromwhichoneofuscouldpaddleandkeepalook-out。Inthiswaywemadeninemiles，andpulledupforthenightalittlebelowDay\'sLock。
Icannothonestlysaythatwehadamerryevening。Therainpoureddownwithquietpersistency。Everythingintheboatwasdampandclammy。
Supperwasnotasuccess。Coldvealpie，whenyoudon\'tfeelhungry，isapttocloy。IfeltIwantedwhitebaitandacutlet；Harrisbabbledofsolesandwhite-sauce，andpassedtheremainsofhispietoMontmorency，whodeclinedit，and，apparentlyinsultedbytheoffer，wentandsatoverattheotherendoftheboatbyhimself。
Georgerequestedthatwewouldnottalkaboutthesethings，atalleventsuntilhehadfinishedhiscoldboiledbeefwithoutmustard。
Weplayedpennynapaftersupper。Weplayedforaboutanhourandahalf，bytheendofwhichtimeGeorgehadwonfourpence-Georgealwaysisluckyatcards-andHarrisandIhadlostexactlytwopenceeach。
Wethoughtwewouldgiveupgamblingthen。AsHarrissaid，itbreedsanunhealthyexcitementwhencarriedtoofar。Georgeofferedtogoonandgiveusourrevenge；butHarrisandIdecidednottobattleanyfurtheragainstFate。
Afterthat，wemixedourselvessometoddy，andsatroundandtalked。
Georgetoldusaboutamanhehadknown，whohadcomeuptherivertwoyearsagoandwhohadsleptoutinadampboatonjustsuchanothernightasthatwas，andithadgivenhimrheumaticfever，andnothingwasabletosavehim，andhehaddiedingreatagonytendaysafterwards。Georgesaidhewasquiteayoungman，andwasengagedtobemarried。Hesaiditwasoneofthesaddestthingshehadeverknown。
AndthatputHarrisinmindofafriendofhis，whohadbeenintheVolunteers，andwhohadsleptoutundercanvasonewetnightdownatAldershot，\"onjustsuchanothernightasthis，\"saidHarris；andhehadwokeupinthemorningacrippleforlife。Harrissaidhewouldintroduceusbothtothemanwhenwegotbacktotown；itwouldmakeourheartsbleedtoseehim。
Thisnaturallyledtosomepleasantchataboutsciatica，fevers，chills，lungdiseases，andbronchitis；andHarrissaidhowveryawkwarditwouldbeifoneofusweretakenseriouslyillinthenight，seeinghowfarawaywewerefromadoctor。
Thereseemedtobeadesireforsomethingfrolicksometofollowuponthisconversation，andinaweakmomentIsuggestedthatGeorgeshouldgetouthisbanjo，andseeifhecouldnotgiveusacomicsong。
IwillsayforGeorgethathedidnotwantanypressing。Therewasnononsenseabouthavinglefthismusicathome，oranythingofthatsort。
Heatoncefishedouthisinstrument，andcommencedtoplay\"TwoLovelyBlackEyes。\"
Ihadalwaysregarded\"TwoLovelyBlackEyes\"asratheracommonplacetuneuntilthatevening。TherichveinofsadnessthatGeorgeextractedfromitquitesurprisedme。
ThedesirethatgrewuponHarrisandmyself，asthemournfulstrainsprogressed，wastofalluponeachother\'snecksandweep；butbygreateffortwekeptbacktherisingtears，andlistenedtothewildyearnfulmelodyinsilence。
Whenthechoruscameweevenmadeadesperateefforttobemerry。Were-
filledourglassesandjoinedin；Harris，inavoicetremblingwithemotion，leading，andGeorgeandIfollowingafewwordsbehind：
\"Twolovelyblackeyes；
Oh！whatasurprise！
Onlyfortellingamanhewaswrong，Two-\"
Therewebrokedown。TheunutterablepathosofGeorge\'saccompanimenttothat\"two\"wewere，inourthenstateofdepression，unabletobear。
Harrissobbedlikealittlechild，andthedoghowledtillIthoughthisheartorhisjawmustsurelybreak。
Georgewantedtogoonwithanotherverse。Hethoughtthatwhenhehadgotalittlemoreintothetune，andcouldthrowmore\"abandon，\"asitwere，intotherendering，itmightnotseemsosad。Thefeelingofthemajority，however，wasopposedtotheexperiment。
Therebeingnothingelsetodo，wewenttobed-thatis，weundressedourselves，andtossedaboutatthebottomoftheboatforsomethreeorfourhours。Afterwhich，wemanagedtogetsomefitfulslumberuntilfivea。m。，whenweallgotupandhadbreakfast。
Theseconddaywasexactlylikethefirst。Theraincontinuedtopourdown，andwesat，wrappedupinourmackintoshes，underneaththecanvas，anddriftedslowlydown。
Oneofus-Iforgetwhichonenow，butIratherthinkitwasmyself-
madeafewfeebleattemptsduringthecourseofthemorningtoworkuptheoldgipsyfoolishnessaboutbeingchildrenofNatureandenjoyingthewet；butitdidnotgodownwellatall。That-
\"Icarenotfortherain，notI！\"
wassopainfullyevident，asexpressingthesentimentsofeachofus，thattosingitseemedunnecessary。
Ononepointwewereallagreed，andthatwasthat，comewhatmight，wewouldgothroughwiththisjobtothebitterend。Wehadcomeoutforafortnight\'senjoymentontheriver，andafortnight\'senjoymentontheriverwemeanttohave。Ifitkilledus！well，thatwouldbeasadthingforourfriendsandrelations，butitcouldnotbehelped。Wefeltthattogiveintotheweatherinaclimatesuchasourswouldbeamostdisastrousprecedent。
\"It\'sonlytwodaysmore，\"saidHarris，\"andweareyoungandstrong。Wemaygetoveritallright，afterall。\"
Ataboutfouro\'clockwebegantodiscussourarrangementsfortheevening。WewerealittlepastGoringthen，andwedecidedtopaddleontoPangbourne，andputupthereforthenight。
\"Anotherjollyevening！\"murmuredGeorge。
Wesatandmusedontheprospect。WeshouldbeinatPangbournebyfive。
Weshouldfinishdinnerat，say，half-pastsix。Afterthatwecouldwalkaboutthevillageinthepouringrainuntilbed-time；orwecouldsitinadimly-litbar-parlourandreadthealmanac。
\"Why，theAlhambrawouldbealmostmorelively，\"saidHarris，venturinghisheadoutsidethecoverforamomentandtakingasurveyofthesky。
\"Withalittlesupperatthe-*tofollow，\"Iadded，halfunconsciously。
*Acapitallittleout-of-the-wayrestaurant，intheneighbourhoodof-，whereyoucangetoneofthebest-cookedandcheapestlittleFrenchdinnersorsuppersthatIknowof，withanexcellentbottleofBeaune，forthree-and-six；andwhichIamnotgoingtobeidiotenoughtoadvertise。
\"Yesit\'salmostapitywe\'vemadeupourmindstosticktothisboat，\"
answeredHarris；andthentherewassilenceforawhile。
\"IfweHADN\'Tmadeupourmindstocontractourcertaindeathsinthisballyoldcoffin，\"observedGeorge，castingaglanceofintensemalevolenceovertheboat，\"itmightbeworthwhiletomentionthatthere\'satrainleavesPangbourne，Iknow，soonafterfive，whichwouldjustlandusintownincomfortabletimetogetachop，andthengoontotheplaceyoumentionedafterwards。\"
Nobodyspoke。Welookedatoneanother，andeachoneseemedtoseehisownmeanandguiltythoughtsreflectedinthefacesoftheothers。Insilence，wedraggedoutandoverhauledtheGladstone。Welookeduptheriveranddowntheriver；notasoulwasinsight！
Twentyminuteslater，threefigures，followedbyashamed-lookingdog，mighthavebeenseencreepingstealthilyfromtheboat-houseatthe\"Swan\"towardstherailwaystation，dressedinthefollowingneitherneatnorgaudycostume：
Blackleathershoes，dirty；suitofboatingflannels，verydirty；brownfelthat，muchbattered；mackintosh，verywet；umbrella。
WehaddeceivedtheboatmanatPangbourne。Wehadnothadthefacetotellhimthatwewererunningawayfromtherain。Wehadlefttheboat，andallitcontained，inhischarge，withinstructionsthatitwastobereadyforusatninethenextmorning。If，wesaid-IFanythingunforeseenshouldhappen，preventingourreturn，wewouldwritetohim。
WereachedPaddingtonatseven，anddrovedirecttotherestaurantIhavebeforedescribed，wherewepartookofalightmeal，leftMontmorency，togetherwithsuggestionsforasuppertobereadyathalf-pastten，andthencontinuedourwaytoLeicesterSquare。
WeattractedagooddealofattentionattheAlhambra。OnourpresentingourselvesatthepayboxweweregrufflydirectedtogoroundtoCastleStreet，andwereinformedthatwewerehalf-an-hourbehindourtime。
Weconvincedtheman，withsomedifficulty，thatwewereNOT\"theworld-
renownedcontortionistsfromtheHimalayaMountains，\"andhetookourmoneyandletuspass。
Insidewewereastillgreatersuccess。Ourfinebronzedcountenancesandpicturesqueclotheswerefollowedroundtheplacewithadmiringgaze。
Wewerethecynosureofeveryeye。
Itwasaproudmomentforusall。
Weadjournedsoonafterthefirstballet，andwendedourwaybacktotherestaurant，wheresupperwasalreadyawaitingus。
Imustconfesstoenjoyingthatsupper。Forabouttendaysweseemedtohavebeenliving，moreorless，onnothingbutcoldmeat，cake，andbreadandjam。Ithadbeenasimple，anutritiousdiet；buttherehadbeennothingexcitingaboutit，andtheodourofBurgundy，andthesmellofFrenchsauces，andthesightofcleannapkinsandlongloaves，knockedasaverywelcomevisitoratthedoorofourinnerman。
Wepeggedandquaffedawayinsilenceforawhile，untilthetimecamewhen，insteadofsittingboltupright，andgraspingtheknifeandforkfirmly，weleantbackinourchairsandworkedslowlyandcarelessly-
whenwestretchedoutourlegsbeneaththetable，letournapkinsfall，unheeded，tothefloor，andfoundtimetomorecriticallyexaminethesmokyceilingthanwehadhithertobeenabletodo-whenwerestedourglassesatarm\'s-lengthuponthetable，andfeltgood，andthoughtful，andforgiving。
ThenHarris，whowassittingnextthewindow，drewasidethecurtainandlookedoutuponthestreet。
Itglisteneddarklyinthewet，thedimlampsflickeredwitheachgust，therainsplashedsteadilyintothepuddlesandtrickleddownthewater-
spoutsintotherunninggutters。Afewsoakedwayfarershurriedpast，crouchingbeneaththeirdrippingumbrellas，thewomenholdinguptheirskirts。
\"Well，\"saidHarris，reachinghishandoutforhisglass，\"wehavehadapleasanttrip，andmyheartythanksforittooldFatherThames-butI
thinkwedidwelltochuckitwhenwedid。Here\'stoThreeMenwelloutofaBoat！\"
AndMontmorency，standingonhishindlegs，beforethewindow，peeringoutintothenight，gaveashortbarkofdecidedconcurrencewiththetoast。
