OnemaygatherfromthishowhefeltwhenhisIrishfriendGrierson，hearinghimenumeratethequalitiesnecessarytotheformationofapoet，beganacomicalparodyuponhisornamentedharangueinpraiseofacook，concludingwiththisobservation，thathewhodressedagooddinnerwasamoreexcellentandamoreusefulmemberofsocietythanhewhowroteagoodpoem。\"Andinthisopinion，\"saidMr。Johnsoninreply，\"allthedogsinthetownwilljoinyou。\"
OfthisMr。GriersonIhaveheardhimrelatemanydrollstories，muchtohisadvantageasawit，togetherwithsomefactsmoredifficulttobeaccountedfor;asavariceneverwasreckonedamongthevicesofthelaughingworld。ButJohnson’svariouslife，andspiritofvigilancetolearnandtreasureupeverypeculiarityofmanner，sentiment，orgeneralconduct，madehiscompany，whenhechosetorelateanecdotesofpeoplehehadformerlyknown，exquisitelyamusingandcomical。Itisindeedinconceivablewhatstrangeoccurrenceshehadseen，andwhatsurprisingthingshecouldtellwheninacommunicativehumour。Itisbynomeansmybusinesstorelatememoirsofhisacquaintance;butitwillservetoshowthecharacterofJohnsonhimself，whenIinformthosewhoneverknewhimthatnomantoldastorywithsogoodagrace，orknewsowellwhatwouldmakeaneffectuponhisauditors。Whenheraisedcontributionsforsomedistressedauthor，orwitinwant，heoftenmadeusallmorethanamendsbydivertingdescriptionsofthelivestheywerethenpassingincornersunseenbyanybodybuthimself;andthatoddoldsurgeonwhomhekeptinhishousetotendtheout—pensioners，andofwhomhesaidmosttrulyandsublimelythat——
\"Inmisery’sdarkestcavernsknown，Hisusefulcarewasevernigh，Wherehopelessanguishpourshergroan，Andlonelywantretirestodie。\"
Ihaveforgottentheyear，butitcouldscarcelyIthinkbelaterthan1765
or1766，thathewascalledabruptlyfromourhouseafterdinner，andreturninginaboutthreehours，saidhehadbeenwithanenragedauthor，whoselandladypressedhimforpaymentwithindoors，whilethebailiffsbesethimwithout;thathewasdrinkinghimselfdrunkwithMadeiratodrowncare，andfrettingoveranovelwhich，whenfinished，wastobehiswholefortune;buthecouldnotgetitdonefordistraction，norcouldhestepoutofdoorstoofferittosale。Mr。Johnsonthereforesetawaythebottle，andwenttothebookseller，recommendingtheperformance，anddesiringsomeimmediaterelief;whichwhenhebroughtbacktothewriter，hecalledthewomanofthehousedirectlytopartakeofpunch，andpasstheirtimeinmerriment。
Itwasnottilltenyearsafter，Idaresay，thatsomethinginDr。
Goldsmith’sbehaviourstruckmewithanideathathewastheveryman，andthenJohnsonconfesseditwasso;thenovelwasthecharming\"VicarofWakefield。\"
TherewasaMr。Boyce，too，whowrotesomeveryelegantversesprintedinthemagazinesoffive—and—twentyyearsago，ofwhoseingenuityanddistressIhaveheardDr。Johnsontellsomecuriousanecdotes，particularlythatwhenhewasalmostperishingwithhunger，andsomemoneywasproducedtopurchasehimadinner，hegotapieceofroastbeef，butcouldnoteatitwithoutketchup，andlaidoutthelasthalf—guineahepossessedintrufflesandmushrooms，eatingtheminbed，too，forwantofclothes，orevenashirttositupin。
Anotherman，forwhomheoftenbegged，madeaswilduseofhisfriend’sbeneficenceasthese，spendinginpunchthesolitaryguineawhichhadbeenbroughthimonemorning;whenresolvingtoaddanotherclaimanttoashareofthebowl，besidesawomanwhoalwayslivedwithhim，andafootmanwhousedtocarryoutpetitionsforcharity，heborrowedachairman’swatch，andpawningitforhalf—a—crown，paidaclergymantomarryhimtoafellow—lodgerinthewretchedhousetheyallinhabited，andgotsodrunkovertheguineabowlofpunchtheeveningofhiswedding—day，thathavingmanyyearslosttheuseofoneleg，henowcontrivedtofallfromthetopofthestairstothebottom，andbreakhisarm，inwhichconditionhiscompanionslefthimtocallMr。Johnson，who，relatingtheseriesofhistragi—comicaldistressesobtainedfromtheLiteraryClubaseasonablerelief。
OfthatrespectablesocietyIhaveheardhimspeakinthehighestterms，andwithamagnificentpanegyriconeachmember，whenitconsistedonlyofadozenorfourteenfriends;butassoonasthenecessityofenlargingitbroughtinnewfaces，andtookofffromhisconfidenceinthecompany，hegrewlessfondofthemeeting，andloudlyproclaimedhiscarelessnessWHO
mightbeadmitted，whenitwasbecomeameredinnerclub。ITHINKtheoriginalnames，whenIfirstheardhimtalkwithfervourofeverymember’speculiarpowersofinstructingordelightingmankind，wereSirJohnHawkins，Mr。Burke，Mr。Langton，Mr。Beauclerc，Dr。Percy，Dr。Nugent，Dr。
Goldsmith，SirRobertChambers，Mr。Dyer，andSirJoshuaReynolds，whomhecalledtheirRomulus，orsaidsomebodyelseofthecompanycalledhimso，whichwasmorelikely：butthiswas，Ibelieve，intheyear1775or1776。
Itwasasuppermeetingthen，andIfancyDr。NugentorderedanomeletsometimesonaFridayorSaturdaynight;forIrememberMr。Johnsonfeltverypainfulsensationsatthesightofthatdishsoonafterhisdeath，andcried，\"Ah，mypoordearfriend！IshallnevereatomeletwithTHEE
again！\"quiteinanagony。Thetruthis，nobodysufferedmorefrompungentsorrowatafriend’sdeaththanJohnson，thoughhewouldsuffernooneelsetocomplainoftheirlossesinthesameway;\"for，\"sayshe，\"wemusteitheroutliveourfriends，youknow，orourfriendsmustoutliveus;andI
seenomanthatwouldhesitateaboutthechoice。\"
Mr。Johnsonlovedlatehoursextremely，ormoreproperlyhatedearlyones。
Nothingwasmoreterrifyingtohimthantheideaofretiringtobed，whichheneverwouldcallgoingtorest，orsufferanothertocallso。\"Iliedown，\"saidhe，\"thatmyacquaintancemaysleep;butIliedowntoendureoppressivemisery，andsoonriseagaintopassthenightinanxietyandpain。\"Bythispatheticmanner，whichnooneeverpossessedinsoeminentadegree，heusedtoshockmefromquittinghiscompany，tillIhurtmyownhealthnotalittlebysittingupwithhimwhenIwasmyselffarfromwell;
norwasitaneasymattertoobligehimevenbycompliance，forhealwaysmaintainedthatnooneforboretheirowngratificationsforthesakeofpleasinganother，andifoneDIDsitupitwasprobablytoamuseoneself。
Someright，however，hecertainlyhadtosayso，ashemadehiscompanyexceedinglyentertainingwhenhehadonceforcedone，byhisvehementlamentationsandpiercingreproofs，nottoquittheroom，buttositquietlyandmaketeaforhim，asIoftendidinLondontillfouro’clockinthemorning。AtStreatham，indeed，Imanagedbetter，havingalwayssomefriendwhowaskindenoughtoengagehimintalk，andfavourmyretreat。
ThefirsttimeIeversawthisextraordinarymanwasintheyear1764，whenMr。Murphy，whohadbeenlongthefriendandconfidentialintimateofMr。
Thrale，persuadedhimtowishforJohnson’sconversation，extollingitintermswhichthatofnootherpersoncouldhavedeserved，tillwewereonlyindoubthowtoobtainhiscompany，andfindanexcusefortheinvitation。
ThecelebrityofMr。Woodhouse，ashoemaker，whoseverseswereatthattimethesubjectofcommondiscourse，soonaffordedapretence，andMr。MurphybroughtJohnsontomeethim，givingmegeneralcautionsnottobesurprisedathisfigure，dress，orbehaviour。WhatIrecollectbestoftheday’stalkwashisearnestlyrecommendingAddison’sworkstoMr。Woodhouseasamodelforimitation。\"Givenightsanddays，sir，\"saidhe，\"tothestudyofAddison，ifyoumeaneithertobeagoodwriter，orwhatismoreworth，anhonestman。\"WhenIsawsomethinglikethesameexpressioninhiscriticismonthatauthor，latelypublished，Iputhiminmindofhispastinjunctionstotheyoungpoet，towhichhereplied，\"thathewishedtheshoemakermighthaverememberedthemaswell。\"Mr。Johnsonlikedhisnewacquaintancesomuch，however，that，fromthattimehedinedwithuseveryThursdaythroughthewinter，andintheautumnofthenextyearhefollowedustoBrighthelmstone，whenceweweregonebeforehisarrival;sohewasdisappointedandenraged，andwroteusaletterexpressiveofanger，whichwewereverydesiroustopacify，andtoobtainhiscompanyagain，ifpossible。Mr。Murphybroughthimbacktousagainverykindly，andfromthattimehisvisitsgrewmorefrequent，tillintheyear1766hishealth，whichhehadalwayscomplainedof，grewsoexceedinglybad，thathecouldnotstiroutofhisroominthecourtheinhabitedformanyWEEKStogether—
—IthinkMONTHS。
Mr。Thrale’sattentionsandmyownnowbecamesoacceptabletohim，thatheoftenlamentedtousthehorribleconditionofhismind，whichhesaidwasnearlydistracted;andthoughhechargedUStomakehimoddsolemnpromisesofsecrecyonsostrangeasubject，yetwhenwewaitedonhimonemorning，andheardhim，inthemostpatheticterms，begtheprayersofDr。Delap，whohadlefthimaswecamein，Ifeltexcessivelyaffectedwithgrief，andwellremembermyhusbandinvoluntarilylifteduponehandtoshuthismouth，fromprovocationathearingamansowildlyproclaimwhathecouldatlastpersuadenoonetobelieve，andwhat，iftrue，wouldhavebeensoveryunfittoreveal。
Mr。Thralewentawaysoonafter，leavingmewithhim，andbiddingmeprevailonhimtoquithisclosehabitationinthecourtandcomewithustoStreatham，whereIundertookthecareofhishealth，andhadthehonourandhappinessofcontributingtoitsrestoration。Thistask，thoughdistressingenoughsometimes，wouldhavebeenlesssohadnotmymotherandhedislikedoneanotherextremely，andteasedmeoftenwithperverseopposition，pettycontentions，andmutualcomplaints。Hersuperfluousattentiontosuchaccountsoftheforeignpoliticsasaretransmittedtousbythedailyprints，andherwillingnesstotalkonsubjectshecouldnotendure，begantheaversion;andwhen，bythepeculiarityofhisstyle，shefoundoutthatheteasedherbywritinginthenewspapersconcerningbattlesandplotswhichhadnoexistence，onlytofeedherwithnewaccountsofthedivisionofPoland，perhaps，orthedisputesbetweentheStatesofRussiaandTurkey，shewasexceedinglyangry，tobesure，andscarcely，Ithink，forgavetheoffencetillthedomesticdistressesoftheyear1772reconciledthemtoandtaughtthemthetruevalueofeachother，excellentasTHEYBOTHwere，farbeyondtheexcellenceofanyothermanandwomanIeveryetsaw。Asherconduct，too，extortedhistruestesteem，hercruelillnessexcitedallhistenderness，norwasthesightofbeauty，scarcetobesubduedbydisease，andwit，flashingthroughtheapprehensionofevil，ascenewhichDr。Johnsoncouldseewithoutsensibility。Heacknowledgedhimselfimprovedbyherpiety，andastonishedatherfortitude，andhungoverherbedwiththeaffectionofaparent，andthereverenceofason。Nordiditgivemelesspleasuretoseehersweetmindclearedofallitslatentprejudices，andleftatlibertytoadmireandapplaudthatforceofthoughtandversatilityofgenius，thatcomprehensivesoulandbenevolentheart，whichattractedandcommandedvenerationfromall，butinspiredpeculiarsensationsofdelightmixedwithreverenceinthosewho，likeher，hadtheopportunitytoobservethesequalitiesstimulatedbygratitude，andactuatedbyfriendship。WhenMr。Thrale’sperplexitiesdisturbedhispeace，dearDr。Johnsonlefthimscarceamoment，andtriedeveryartificetoamuseaswellaseveryargumenttoconsolehim：norisitmorepossibletodescribethantoforgethisprudent，hispiousattentionstowardsthemanwhohadsomeyearsbeforecertainlysavedhisvaluablelife，perhapshisreason，byhalfobliginghimtochangethefoulairofFleetStreetforthewholesomebreezesoftheSussexDowns。
Theepitaphengravedonmymother’smonumentshowshowdeservingshewasofgeneralapplause。IaskedJohnsonwhyhenamedherpersonbeforehermind。
Hesaiditwas\"becauseeverybodycouldjudgeoftheone，andbutfewoftheother。\"
JuxtasepultaestHESTERAMARIA
ThomaeCottondeCombermerebaronettiCestriensisfilia，JohannisSalusburyarmigeriFlintiensisuxor。
Formafelix，felixingenio：
Omnibusjucunda，suorumamantissima。
LinguisartibusqueitaexcultaUtloquentinunquamdeessentSermonisnitor，sententiarumflosculi，Sapientiaegravitas，leporumgratia：
Modumservandiadeoperita，Utdomesticainternegotialiterisoblectaretur。
Literaruminterdelicias，remfamiliaremsedulocuraret，Multisillimultosannosprecantibusdiricarcinomatisvenenocontabuit，nexibusquevitaepaulatimresolutis，eterris——meliorasperans——emigravit。
Nata17O7。Nupta1739。Obiit1773。
Mr。Murphy，whoadmiredhertalentsanddelightedinhercompany，didmethefavourtoparaphrasethiselegantinscriptioninverseswhichIfancyhaveneveryetbeenpublished。Hisfamehaslongbeenoutofmypowertoincreaseasapoet：asamanofsensibilityperhapstheselinesmaysethimhigherthanhenowstands。Irememberwithgratitudethefriendlytearswhichpreventedhimfromspeakingasheputthemintomyhand。
NearthisplaceAredepositedtheremainsofHESTERMARIA，ThedaughterofSirThomasCottonofCombermere，inthecountyofCheshire，Bart。，thewifeofJohnSalusbury，ofthecountyofFlint，Esquire。Shewasbornintheyear17O7，marriedin1739，anddiedin1773。
Apleasingform，whereeverygracecombined，Withgeniusblest，apureenlightenedmind;
Benevolenceonallthatsmilesbestowed，Aheartthatforherfriendswithloveo’erflowed：
Inlanguageskilled，byscienceformedtoplease，Hermirthwaswit，hergravitywasease。
Gracefulinall，thehappymiensheknew，Whicheventovirtuegivesthelimitsdue;
Whate’eremployedher，thatsheseemedtochoose，Herhouse，herfriends，herbusiness，orthemuse。
Admiredandloved，thethemeofgeneralpraise，Alltosuchvirtuewishedalengthofdays。
Butsadreverse！withslow—consumingpains，Th’envenomedcancerrevelledinherveins;
Preyedonherspirits——stoleeachpoweraway;
Gradualshesank，yetsmilingindecay;
Shesmiledinhope，bysoreafflictiontried，AndinthathopethepiousChristiandied。
ThefollowingepitaphonMr。Thrale，whohasnowamonumentclosebyhersinStreathamChurch，IhaveseenprintedandcommendedinMaty’sReviewforApril，1784;andafriendhasfavouredmewiththetranslation：——
HicconditurquodreliquumestHENRICITHRALE，Quiresseuciviles，seudomesticas，itaegit，Utvitamillilongioremmultioptarent;
Itasacras，Utquambrevemessethabituruspraescirevideretur。
Simplex，apertus，sibiquesempersimilis，NihilostentavitautartefictumautcuraElaboratum。
Insenatu，regipatriaequeFideliterstuduit;
Vulgiobstrepentiscontemptoranimosus，DomiintermillemercaturaenegotiaLiterarumelegantiamminimeneglexit。
Amicisquocunquemodolaborantibus，Conciliis，auctoritate，muneribusadfuit。
Interfamiliares，comites，convivas，hospites，TamfacilifuitmorumsuavitateUtomniumanimosadsealliceret;
TamfelicisermonislibertateUtnulliadulatus，omnibusplaceret。
Natus1724。Ob。1781。
ConsortestumulihabetRodolphumpatrem，strenuumfortemquevirum，etHenricumfiliumunicum，quemspeiparentummorsinopinadecennempraeripuit。
ItaDomusfelixetopulenta，quamerexitAvus，auxitquepater，cumnepotedecidit。
Abiviator！
Etvicibusrerumhumanarumperspectis，AEternitatemcogita！
HerearedepositedtheremainsofHENRYTHRALE，Whomanagedallhisconcernsinthepresentworld，publicandprivate，insuchamannerastoleavemanywishinghehadcontinuedlongerinit;
Andallthatrelatedtoafutureworld，asifhehadbeensensiblehowshortatimehewastocontinueinthis。
Simple，open，anduniforminhismanners，hisconductwaswithouteitherartoraffectation。
Inthesenatesteadilyattentivetothetrueinterestsofhiskingandcountry，Helookeddownwithcontemptontheclamoursofthemultitude：
Thoughengagedinaveryextensivebusiness，HefoundsometimetoapplytopoliteliteratureAndwaseverreadytoassisthisfriendslabouringunderanydifficulties，withhisadvice，hisinfluence，andhispurse。
Tohisfriends，acquaintance，andguests，hebehavedwithsuchsweetnessofmannersastoattachthemalltohisperson：
Sohappyinhisconversationwiththem，astopleaseall，thoughheflatterednone。
Hewasbornintheyear1724，anddiedin1781。
Inthesametomblieinterredhisfather，RalphThrale，amanofvigourandactivity，AndhisonlysonHenry，whodiedbeforehisfather，Agedtenyears。
Thusahappyandopulentfamily，Raisedbythegrandfather，andaugmentedbythefather，becameextinguishedwiththegrandson。
Go，Reader！
Andreflectingonthevicissitudesofallhumanaffairs，Meditateoneternity。
IneverrecollecttohaveheardthatDr。JohnsonwroteinscriptionsforanysepulchralstonesexceptDr。Goldsmith’s，inWestminsterAbbey，andthesetwoinStreathamChurch。HemadefourlinesonceonthedeathofpoorHogarth，whichwereequallytrueandpleasing。IknownotwhyGarrick’swerepreferredtothem。
\"Thehandofhimheretorpidlies，Thatdrewth’essentialformofgrace;
Hereclos’dindeathth’attentiveeyes，Thatsawthemannersintheface。\"
Mr。Hogarth，amongthevarietyofkindnessesshowntomewhenIwastooyoungtohaveapropersenseofthem，wasusedtobeveryearnestthatI
shouldobtaintheacquaintance，andifpossiblethefriendship，ofDr。
Johnson，whoseconversationwas，tothetalkofothermen，\"likeTitian’spaintingcomparedtoHudson’s，\"hesaid：\"butdon’tyoutellpeople，now，thatIsayso，\"continuedhe，\"fortheconnoisseursandIareatwar，youknow;andbecauseIhateTHEM，theythinkIhateTITIAN——andletthem！\"
ManywereindeedthelecturesIusedtohaveinmyveryearlydaysfromdearMr。Hogarth，whoseregardformyfatherinducedhim，perhaps，totakenoticeofhislittlegirl，andgivehersomeoddparticulardirectionsaboutdress，dancing，andmanyothermatters，interestingnowonlybecausetheywerehis。Ashemadeallhistalents，however，subservienttothegreatpurposesofmorality，andtheearnestdesirehehadtomendmankind，hisdiscoursecommonlyendedinanethicaldissertation，andaseriouschargetome，nevertoforgethispictureofthe\"Lady’slastStake。\"OfDr。Johnson，whenmyfatherandheweretalkingtogetherabouthimoneday，\"Thatman，\"saysHogarth，\"isnotcontentedwithbelievingtheBible，buthefairlyresolves，Ithink，tobelievenothingBUTtheBible。Johnson，\"
addedhe，\"thoughsowiseafellow，ismorelikeKingDavidthanKingSolomon;forhesaysinhishastethat’allmenareliars。’\"Thischarge，asIafterwardscametoknow，wasbuttoowellfounded。Mr。Johnson’sincredulityamountedalmosttodisease，andIhaveseenitmortifyhiscompanionsexceedingly。Butthetruthis，Mr。ThralehadaverypowerfulinfluenceovertheDoctor，andcouldmakehimsuppressmanyroughanswers。
Hecouldlikewiseprevailonhimtochangehisshirt，hiscoat，orhisplate，almostbeforeitcameindispensablynecessarytothecomfortofhisfriends。ButasIneverhadanyascendencyatalloverMr。Johnson，exceptjustinthethingsthatconcernedhishealth，itgrewextremelyperplexinganddifficulttoliveinthehousewithhimwhenthemasterofitwasnomore;theworse，indeed，becausehisdislikesgrewcapricious;andhecouldscarcebeartohaveanybodycometothehousewhomitwasabsolutelynecessaryformetosee。Twogentlemen，Iperfectlywellremember，diningwithusatStreathaminthesummer，1782，whenElliot’sbravedefenceofGibraltarwasasubjectofcommondiscourse，oneofthesemennaturallyenoughbegansometalkaboutred—hotballsthrownwithsurprisingdexterityandeffect，whichDr。Johnsonhavinglistenedsometimeto，\"Iwouldadviseyou，sir，\"saidhe，withacoldsneer，\"nevertorelatethisstoryagain;
youreallycanscarceimaginehowVERYPOORafigureyoumakeinthetellingofit。\"OurguestbeingbredaQuaker，and，Ibelieve，amanofanextremelygentledisposition，needednomorereproofsforthesamefolly;
soifheeverdidspeakagain，itwasinalowvoicetothefriendwhocamewithhim。Thecheckwasgivenbeforedinner，andaftercoffeeIlefttheroom。Whenintheevening，however，ourcompanionswerereturnedtoLondon，andMr。Johnsonandmyselfwereleftalone，withonlyourusualfamilyaboutus，\"IdidnotquarrelwiththoseQuakerfellows，\"saidhe，veryseriously。\"Youdidperfectlyright，\"repliedI，\"fortheygaveyounocauseofoffence。\"\"Nooffence！\"returnedhe，withanalteredvoice;
\"andisitnothing，then，tositwhisperingtogetherwhen_I_ampresent，withouteverdirectingtheirdiscoursetowardsme，orofferingmeashareintheconversation？\"\"Thatwasbecauseyoufrightedhimwhospokefirstaboutthosehotballs。\"\"Why，madam，ifacreatureisneithercapableofgivingdignitytofalsehood，norwillingtoremaincontentedwiththetruth，hedeservesnobettertreatment。\"
Mr。Johnson’sfixedincredulityofeverythingheheard，andhislittlecaretoconcealthatincredulity，wasteasingenough，tobesure;andIsawMr。
SharpwaspainedexceedinglywhenrelatingthehistoryofahurricanethathappenedaboutthattimeintheWestIndies，where，foraughtIknow，hehadhimselflostsomefriendstoo，heobservedDr。Johnsonbelievednotasyllableoftheaccount。\"For’tisSOeasy，\"sayshe，\"foramantofillhismouthwithawonder，andrunabouttellingtheliebeforeitcanbedetected，thatIhavenohearttobelievehurricaneseasilyraisedbythefirstinventor，andblownforwardsbythousandsmore。\"IaskedhimonceifhebelievedthestoryofthedestructionofLisbonbyanearthquakewhenitfirsthappened。\"Oh！notforsixmonths，\"saidhe，\"atleast。IDIDthinkthatstorytoodreadfultobecredited，andcanhardlyyetpersuademyselfthatitwastruetothefullextentweallofushaveheard。\"
Amongthenumberlesspeople，however，whomIheardhimgrosslyandflatlycontradict，IneveryetsawanyonewhodidnottakeitpatientlyexceptingDr。Burney，fromwhosehabitualsoftnessofmannersIlittleexpectedsuchanexertionofspirit;theeventwasaslittletobeexpected。Mr。Johnsonaskedhispardongenerouslyandgenteelly，andwhenhelefttheroom，roseuptoshakehandswithhim，thattheymightpartinpeace。Onanotheroccasion，whenhehadviolentlyprovokedMr。Pepys，inadifferentbutperhapsnotalessoffensivemanner，tillsomethingmuchtoolikeaquarrelwasgrownupbetweenthem，themomenthewasgone，\"Now，\"saysDr。Johnson，\"isPepysgonehomehatingme，wholovehimbetterthanIdidbefore。Hespokeindefenceofhisdeadfriend;butthoughIhope_I_spokebetterwhospokeagainsthim，yetallmyeloquencewillgainmenothingbutanhonestmanformyenemy！\"Hedidnot，however，cordiallyloveMr。Pepys，thoughherespectedhisabilities。\"Iknowthedogwasascholar，\"saidhewhentheyhadbeendisputingabouttheclassicsforthreehourstogetheronemorningatStreatham，\"butthathehadsomuchtasteandsomuchknowledgeIdidNOTbelieve。ImighthavetakenBarnard’swordthough，forBarnardwouldnotlie。\"
WehadgotalittleFrenchprintamongusatBrighthelmstone，inNovember，1782，ofsomepeopleskating，withtheselineswrittenunder：——
\"Surunmincechrystall’hyverconduitleurspas，Leprecipiceestsouslaglace;
Telleestdenosplaisirslalegeresurface，Glissezmortels;n’appayezpas。\"
AndIbeggedtranslationfromeverybody。Dr。Johnsongavemethis：——
\"O’ericetherapidskaterflies，Withsportaboveanddeathbelow;
Wheremischieflurksingaydisguise，Thuslightlytouchandquicklygo。\"
Hewas，however，mostexceedinglyenragedwhenheknewthatinthecourseoftheseasonIhadaskedhalf—a—dozenacquaintancetodothesamething;
andsaid，\"itwasapieceoftreachery，anddonetomakeeverybodyelselooklittlewhencomparedtomyfavouritefriendsthePEPYSES，whosetranslationswereunquestionablythebest。\"Iwillinsertthem，becauseheDIDsayso。ThisisthedistichgivenmebySirLucas，towhomIowemoresolidobligations，nolessthanthepowerofthankinghimforthelifehesaved，andwhoseleastvaluablepraiseisthecorrectnessofhistaste：——
\"O’ertheiceaso’erpleasureyoulightlyshouldglide，Bothhavegulfswhichtheirflatteringsurfaceshide。\"
Thisothermoreseriousonewaswrittenbyhisbrother：——
\"Swifto’erthelevelhowtheskatersslide，Andskimtheglitt’ringsurfaceastheygo：
Thuso’erlife’sspeciouspleasureslightlyglide，Butpausenot，pressnotonthegulfbelow。\"
Dr。Johnsonseeingthislast，andthinkingamoment，repeated：——
\"O’ercracklingice，o’ergulfsprofound，Withnimbleglidetheskatersplay;
O’ertreacherouspleasure’sflow’rygroundThuslightlyskim，andhasteaway。\"
Thoughthusuncommonlyreadybothtogiveandtakeoffence，Mr。Johnsonhadmanyrigidmaximsconcerningthenecessityofcontinuedsoftnessandcomplianceofdisposition：andwhenIoncementionedShenstone’sideathatsomelittlequarrelamonglovers，relations，andfriendswasuseful，andcontributedtotheirgeneralhappinessuponthewhole，bymakingthesoulfeelherelasticforce，andreturntothebelovedobjectwithreneweddelight：\"Why，whataperniciousmaximisthisnow，\"criesJohnson，\"ALL
quarrelsoughttobeavoidedstudiously，particularlyconjugalones，asnoonecanpossiblytellwheretheymayend;besidesthatlastingdislikeisoftentheconsequenceofoccasionaldisgust，andthatthecupoflifeissurelybitterenoughwithoutsqueezinginthehatefulrindofresentment。\"
Itwasuponsomethinglikethesameprinciple，andfromhisgeneralhatredofrefinement，thatwhenItoldhimhowDr。Collier，inordertokeeptheservantsinhumourwithhisfavouritedog，byseemingroughwiththeanimalhimselfonmanyoccasions，andcryingout，\"Whywillnobodyknockthiscur’sbrainsout？\"meanttoconciliatetheirtendernesstowardsPompey;hereturnedmeforanswer，\"thatthemaximwasevidentlyfalse，andfoundedonignoranceofhumanlife：thattheservantswouldkickthedogsoonerforhavingobtainedsuchasanctiontotheirseverity。AndIonce，\"addedhe，\"chidmywifeforbeatingthecatbeforethemaid，whowillnow，\"saidI，\"treatpusswithcruelty，perhaps，andpleadhermistress’sexample。\"
Iaskedhimuponthisifheeverdisputedwithhiswife？（Ihadheardthathelovedherpassionately。）\"Perpetually，\"saidhe：\"mywifehadaparticularreverenceforcleanliness，anddesiredthepraiseofneatnessinherdressandfurniture，asmanyladiesdo，tilltheybecometroublesometotheirbestfriends，slavestotheirownbesoms，andonlysighforthehourofsweepingtheirhusbandsoutofthehouseasdirtanduselesslumber。’A
cleanfloorisSOcomfortable，’shewouldsaysometimes，bywayoftwitting;tillatlastItoldherthatIthoughtwehadhadtalkenoughabouttheFLOOR，wewouldnowhaveatouchattheCEILING。\"
OnanotheroccasionIhaveheardhimblameherforafaultmanypeoplehave，ofsettingthemiseriesoftheirneighbourshalfunintentionally，halfwantonlybeforetheireyes，showingthemthebadsideoftheirprofession，situation，etc。Hesaid，\"Shewouldlamentthedependenceofpupilagetoayoungheir，etc。，andoncetoldawatermanwhorowedheralongtheThamesinawherry，thathewasnohappierthanagalley—slave，onebeingchainedtotheoarbyauthority，theotherbywant。Ihad，however，\"saidhe，laughing，\"thewittogetherdaughteronmysidealwaysbeforewebeganthedispute。Shereadcomedybetterthananybodyheeverheard，\"hesaid;\"intragedyshemouthedtoomuch。\"
GarricktoldMr。Thrale，however，thatshewasalittlepaintedpuppet，ofnovalueatall，andquitedisguisedwithaffectation，fullofoddairsofruralelegance;andhemadeoutsomecomicalscenes，bymimickingherinadialoguehepretendedtohaveoverheard。Idonotknowwhetherhemeantsuchstufftobebelievedorno，itwassocomical;nordidIindeedeverseehimrepresentherridiculously，thoughmyhusbanddid。TheintelligenceIgainedofherfromoldLevettwasonlyperpetualillnessandperpetualopium。ThepictureIfoundofheratLichfieldwasverypretty，andherdaughter，Mrs。LucyPorter，saiditwaslike。Mr。Johnsonhastoldmethatherhairwaseminentlybeautiful，quiteblonde，likethatofababy;butthatshefrettedaboutthecolour，andwasalwaysdesiroustodyeitblack，whichheveryjudiciouslyhinderedherfromdoing。Hisaccountoftheirweddingweusedtothinkludicrousenough。\"Iwasridingtochurch，\"saysJohnson，\"andshefollowingonanothersinglehorse。Shehungback，however，andIturnedabouttoseewhethershecouldgethersteedalong，orwhatwasthematter。Ihad，however，soonoccasiontoseeitwasonlycoquetry，andTHATIDESPISED，soquickeningmypacealittle，shemendedhers;butIbelievetherewasatearortwo——prettydearcreature！\"
Johnsonlovedhisdinnerexceedingly，andhasoftensaidinmyhearing，perhapsformyedification，\"thatwhereverthedinnerisillgotthereispovertyorthereisavarice，orthereisstupidity;inshort，thefamilyissomehowgrosslywrong：for，\"continuedhe，\"amanseldomthinkswithmoreearnestnessofanythingthanhedoesofhisdinner，andifhecannotgetthatwelldressed，heshouldbesuspectedofinaccuracyinotherthings。\"
Oneday，whenhewasspeakinguponthesubject，Iaskedhimifheeverhuffedhiswifeabouthisdinner？\"Sooften，\"repliedhe，\"thatatlastshecalledtome，andsaid，’Nay，hold，Mr。Johnson，anddonotmakeafarceofthankingGodforadinnerwhichinafewminutesyouwillprotestnoteatable。’\"
Whenanydisputesarosebetweenourmarriedacquaintance，however，Mr。
Johnsonalwayssidedwiththehusband，\"whom，\"hesaid，\"thewomanhadprobablyprovokedsooften，shescarceknewwhenorhowshehaddisobligedhimfirst。Women，\"saysDr。Johnson，\"givegreatoffencebyacontemptuousspiritofnon—complianceonpettyoccasions。Themancallshiswifetowalkwithhimintheshade，andshefeelsastrangedesirejustatthatmomenttositinthesun：heofferstoreadheraplay，orsingherasong，andshecallsthechildrenintodisturbthem，oradviseshimtoseizethatopportunityofsettlingthefamilyaccounts。Twentysuchtrickswillthefaithfullestwifeintheworldnotrefusetoplay，andthenlookastonishedwhenthefellowfetchesinamistress。Boarding—schoolswereestablished，\"continuedhe，\"fortheconjugalquietoftheparents。Thetwopartnerscannotagreewhichchildtofondle，norhowtofondlethem，sotheyputtheyoungonestoschool，andremovethecauseofcontention。Thelittlegirlpokesherhead，themotherreproveshersharply。’Donotmindyourmamma，’saysthefather，’mydear，butdoyourownway。’Themothercomplainstomeofthis。’Madam，’saidI，’yourhusbandisrightallthewhile;heiswithyoubuttwohoursoftheday，perhaps，andthenyouteasehimbymakingthechildcry。Arenottenhoursenoughfortuition？andarethehoursofpleasuresofrequentinlife，thatwhenamangetsacoupleofquietonestospendinfamiliarchatwithhiswife，theymustbepoisonedbypettymortifications？Putmissytoschool;shewilllearntoholdherheadlikeherneighbours，andyouwillnolongertormentyourfamilyforwantofothertalk。’\"。
ThevacuityoflifehadatsomeearlyperiodofhislifestrucksoforciblyonthemindofMr。Johnson，thatitbecamebyrepeatedimpressionhisfavouritehypothesis，andthegeneraltenorofhisreasoningscommonlyendedthere，wherevertheymightbegin。Suchthings，therefore，asotherphilosophersoftenattributetovariousandcontradictorycauses，appearedtohimuniformenough;allwasdonetofillupthetime，uponhisprinciple。Iusedtotellhimthatitwasliketheclown’sanswerinAsYouLikeIt，of\"Oh，lord，sir！\"forthatitsuitedeveryoccasion。Oneman，forexample，wasprofligateandwild，aswecallit，followedthegirls，orsatstillatthegaming—table。\"Why，lifemustbefilledup，\"
saysJohnson，\"andthemanwhoisnotcapableofintellectualpleasuresmustcontenthimselfwithsuchashissensescanafford。\"Anotherwasahoarder。\"Why，afellowmustdosomething;andwhat，soeasytoanarrowmindashoardinghalfpencetilltheyturnintosixpences。\"Avaricewasaviceagainstwhich，however，InevermuchheardMr。Johnsondeclaim，tillonerepresentedittohimconnectedwithcruelty，orsomesuchdisgracefulcompanion。\"Donot，\"saidhe，\"discourageyourchildrenfromhoardingiftheyhaveatastetoit：whoeverlaysuphispennyratherthanpartwithitforacake，atleastisnottheslaveofgrossappetite，andshowsbesidesapreferencealwaystobeesteemed，ofthefuturetothepresentmoment。Suchamindmaybemadeagoodone;butthenaturalspendthrift，whograspshispleasuresgreedilyandcoarsely，andcaresfornothingbutimmediateindulgence，isverylittletobevaluedaboveanegro。\"WetalkedofLadyTavistock，whogrievedherselftodeathforthelossofherhusband——\"Shewasrich，andwantedemployment，\"saysJohnson，\"soshecriedtillshelostallpowerofrestraininghertears：otherwomenareforcedtooutlivetheirhusbands，whowerejustasmuchbeloved，dependonit;buttheyhavenotimeforgrief：andIdoubtnot，ifwehadputmyLadyTavistockintoasmallchandler’sshop，andgivenheranurse—childtotend，herlifewouldhavebeensaved。Thepoorandthebusyhavenoleisureforsentimentalsorrow。\"Wewerespeakingofagentlemanwholovedhisfriend——\"MakehimPrimeMinister，\"saysJohnson，\"andseehowlonghisfriendwillberemembered。\"Buthehadarougheranswerforme，whenI
commendedasermonpreachedbyanintimateacquaintanceofourownatthetradingendofthetown。\"Whatwasthesubject，madam？\"saysDr。Johnson。
\"Friendship，sir，\"repliedI。\"Why，now，isitnotstrangethatawiseman，likeourdearlittleEvans，shouldtakeitinhisheadtopreachonsuchasubject，inaplacewherenoonecanbethinkingofit？\"\"Why，whataretheythinkingupon，sir？\"saidI。\"Why，themenarethinkingontheirmoney，Isuppose，andthewomenarethinkingoftheirmops。\"
Dr。Johnson’sknowledgeandesteemofwhatwecallloworcoarselifewasindeedprodigious;andhedidnotlikethattheupperranksshouldbedignifiedwiththenameofTHEWORLD。SirJoshuaReynoldssaidonedaythatnobodyWORElacedcoatsnow;andthatonceeverybodyworethem。\"See，now，\"saysJohnson，\"howabsurdthatis;asifthebulkofmankindconsistedoffinegentlementhatcametohimtositfortheirpictures。Ifeverymanwhowearsalacedcoat（thathecanpayfor）wasextirpated，whowouldmissthem？\"Withallthishaughtycontemptofgentility，nopraisewasmorewelcometoDr。Johnsonthanthatwhichsaidhehadthenotionsormannersofagentleman：whichcharacterIhaveheardhimdefinewithaccuracy，anddescribewithelegance。\"Officers，\"hesaid，\"werefalselysupposedtohavethecarriageofgentlemen;whereasnoprofessionleftastrongerbrandbehinditthanthatofasoldier;anditwastheessenceofagentleman’scharactertobearthevisiblemarkofnoprofessionwhatever。\"HeoncenamedMr。Berengerasthestandardoftrueelegance;
butsomeoneobjectingthathetoomuchresembledthegentlemaninCongreve’scomedies，Mr。Johnsonsaid，\"WemustfixthemuponthefamousThomasHervey，whosemannerswerepolishedeventoacutenessandbrilliancy，thoughhelostbutlittleinsolidpowerofreasoning，andingenuineforceofmind。\"Mr。Johnsonhad，however，anavowedandscarcelylimitedpartialityforallwhoborethenameorboastedtheallianceofanAstonoraHervey;andwhenMr。Thraleonceaskedhimwhichhadbeenthehappiestperiodofhispastlife？hereplied，\"ItwasthatyearinwhichhespentonewholeeveningwithM———yAs——n。That，indeed，\"saidhe，\"wasnothappiness，itwasrapture;butthethoughtsofitsweetenedthewholeyear。\"Imustaddthattheeveningalludedtowasnotpassedtete—a—tete，butinaselectcompany，ofwhichthepresentLordKillmoreywasone。
\"Molly，\"saysDr。Johnson，\"wasabeautyandascholar，andawitandaWhig;andshetalkedallinpraiseofliberty：andsoImadethisepigramuponher。ShewastheloveliestcreatureIeversaw！！！
\"’Liberutessevelim，suasistipulchraMaria，Utmaneamliber——pulchraMaria，vale！’\"
\"WillitdothiswayinEnglish，sir？\"saidI。
\"Persuasionstofreedomfalloddlyfromyou;
Iffreedomweseek——fairMaria，adieu！\"
\"Itwilldowellenough，`repliedhe，\"butitistranslatedbyalady，andtheladiesneverlovedM———yAs——n。\"Iaskedhimwhathiswifethoughtofthisattachment？\"Shewasjealous，tobesure，\"saidhe，\"andteasedmesometimeswhenIwouldlether;andoneday，asafortune—tellinggipsypasseduswhenwewerewalkingoutincompanywithtwoorthreefriendsinthecountry，shemadethewenchlookatmyhand，butsoonrepentedhercuriosity;’for，’saysthegipsy，’yourheartisdivided，sir，betweenaBettyandaMolly：Bettylovesyoubest，butyoutakemostdelightinMolly’scompany。’WhenIturnedabouttolaugh，Isawmywifewascrying。
Prettycharmer！shehadnoreason！\"
Itwas，Ibelieve，longafterthecurrentsoflifehaddrivenhimtoagreatdistancefromthislady，thathespentmuchofhistimewithMrs。
F—tzh——b——t，ofwhomhealwaysspokewithesteemandtenderness，andwithavenerationverydifficulttodeserve。\"Thatwoman，\"saidhe，\"lovedherhusbandaswehopeanddesiretobelovedbyourguardianangel。F—tzh——b—
—twasagay，good—humouredfellow，generousofhismoneyandofhismeat，anddesirousofnothingbutcheerfulsocietyamongpeopledistinguishedinSOMEway，inANYWAY，Ithink;forRousseauandSt。Austinwouldhavebeenequallywelcometohistableandtohiskindness。Thelady，however，wasofanotherwayofthinking：herfirstcarewastopreserveherhusband’ssoulfromcorruption;hersecond，tokeephisestateentirefortheirchildren：andIowedmygoodreceptioninthefamilytotheideashehadentertained，thatIwasfitcompanyforF—tzh——b——t，whomIlovedextremely。’Theydarenot，’saidshe，’swear，andtakeotherconversation—libertiesbeforeYOU。’\"Iaskedifherhusbandreturnedherregard？\"Hefeltherinfluencetoopowerfully，\"repliedMr。Johnson;\"nomanwillbefondofwhatforceshimdailytofeelhimselfinferior。ShestoodatthedoorofherparadiseinDerbyshire，liketheangelwithaflamingsword，tokeepthedevilatadistance。Butshewasnotimmortal，poordear！shedied，andherhusbandfeltatonceafflictedandreleased。\"
Iinquiredifshewashandsome？\"Shewouldhavebeenhandsomeforaqueen，\"repliedthepanegyrist;\"herbeautyhadmoreinitofmajestythanofattraction，moreofthedignityofvirtuethanthevivacityofwit。\"
Thefriendofthislady，MissB——thby，succeededherinthemanagementofMr。F—tzh——b——t’sfamily，andintheesteemofDr。Johnson，thoughhetoldmeshepushedherpietytobigotry，herdevotiontoenthusiasm，thatshesomewhatdisqualifiedherselfforthedutiesofTHISlife，byherperpetualaspirationsaftertheNEXT。Suchwas，however，thepurityofhermind，hesaid，andsuchthegracesofhermanner，thatLordLytteltonandheusedtostriveforherpreferencewithanemulationthatoccasionedhourlydisgust，andendedinlastinganimosity。\"Youmaysee，\"saidhetome，whenthe\"Poets’Lives\"wereprinted，\"thatdearB——thbyisatmyheartstill。SheWOULDdelightinthatfellowLyttelton’scompanythough，allthatIcoulddo;andIcannotforgiveevenhismemorythepreferencegivenbyamindlikehers。\"IhaveheardBarettisaythatwhenthisladydied，Dr。Johnsonwasalmostdistractedwithhisgrief，andthatthefriendsabouthimhadmuchadotocalmtheviolenceofhisemotion。Dr。Taylor，too，relatedoncetoMr。Thraleandme，thatwhenhelosthiswife，thenegroFrancisranaway，thoughinthemiddleofthenight，toWestminster，tofetchDr。
Taylortohismaster，whowasallbutwildwithexcessofsorrow，andscarceknewhimwhenhearrived。Aftersomeminutes，however，theDoctorproposedtheirgoingtoprayers，astheonlyrationalmethodofcalmingthedisorderthismisfortunehadoccasionedinboththeirspirits。Time，andresignationtothewillofGod，curedeverybreachinhisheartbeforeI
madeacquaintancewithhim，thoughhealwayspersistedinsayingheneverrightlyrecoveredthelossofhiswife。Itisinallusiontoherthatherecordstheobservationofafemalecritic，ashecallsher，inGay’s\"Life;\"andtheladyofgreatbeautyandelegance，mentionedinthecriticismsuponPope’sepitaphs，wasMissMollyAston。ThepersonspokenofinhisstricturesuponYoung’spoetryisthewriteroftheseanecdotes，towhomhelikewiseaddressedthefollowingverseswhenhewasintheIsleofSkyewithMr。Boswell。Theletterswritteninhisjourney，Iusedtotellhim，werebetterthantheprintedbook;andhewasnotdispleasedatmyhavingtakenthepainstocopythemallover。HereistheLatinode：——
\"Permeoterras，ubinudarupesSaxeasmiscetnebulisruinas，TorvaubiridentsterilescoloniRuralabores。
\"Pervagorgentes，hominumferorumVitaubinullodecoratacultu，Squalletinformis，tiguriquefumisFaedalatescit。
\"Intererrorissalebrosalongi，Interignotaestrepitusloquelae，Quotmodismecum，quidagatrequiroThraliadulcis？
\"Seuviricuraspianuptamulcet，Seufovetmatersobolembenigna，SivecumlibrisnovitatepascitSedulamentem：
\"Sitmemornostri，fideiquemerces，Stetfidesconstans，meritoqueblandumThraliaediscantresonarenomenLittoraSkiae。\"
OnanotheroccasionIcanboastversesfromDr。Johnson。AsIwentintohisroomthemorningofmybirthdayonce，andsaidtohim，\"Nobodysendsmeanyversesnow，becauseIamfive—and—thirtyyearsold，andStellawasfedwiththemtillforty—six，Iremember。\"Mybeingjustrecoveredfromillnessandconfinementwillaccountforthemannerinwhichheburstout，suddenly，forsohedidwithouttheleastprevioushesitationwhatsoever，andwithouthavingentertainedthesmallestintentiontowardsithalfaminutebefore：
\"Oftindanger，yetalive，Wearecometothirty—five;
Longmaybetteryearsarrive，Betteryearsthanthirty—five。
CouldphilosopherscontriveLifetostopatthirty—five，TimehishoursshouldneverdriveO’ertheboundsofthirty—five。
Hightosoar，anddeeptodive，Naturegivesatthirty—five。
Ladies，stockandtendyourhive，Triflenotatthirty—five：
Forhowe’erweboastandstrive，Lifedeclinesfromthirty—five。
HethateverhopestothriveMustbeginbythirty—five;
AndallwhowiselywishtowiveMustlookonThraleatthirty—five。\"
\"Andnow，\"saidhe，asIwaswritingthemdown，\"youmayseewhatitistocomeforpoetrytoadictionary—maker;youmayobservethattherhymesruninalphabeticalorderexactly。\"Andsotheydo。
Mr。JohnsondidindeedpossessanalmostTuscanpowerofimprovisation。
Whenhecalledtomydaughter，whowasconsultingwithafriendaboutanewgownanddressedhatshethoughtofwearingtoanassembly，thussuddenly，whileshehopedhewasnotlisteningtotheirconversation——
\"Wearthegownandwearthehat，Snatchthypleasureswhiletheylast;
Hadstthounineliveslikeacat，Soonthosenineliveswouldbepast。\"
ItisimpossibletodenytosuchlittlesalliesthepoweroftheFlorentines，whodonotpermittheirversestobeeverwrittendown，thoughtheyoftendeserveit，because，astheyexpressit，Cosiseperde—rebbelapocagloria。
Asfortranslations，weusedtomakehimsometimesrunoffwithoneortwoinagoodhumour。HewaspraisingthissongofMetastasio：——
\"Deh，sepiacermivuoi，Lasciaisospettituoi，NonmiturbarconquestoMolestodubitar：
Chiciecamentecrede，Impegnaaserbarfede：
Chisempreingannoaspetta，Allettaadingannar。\"
\"ShouldyoulikeitinEnglish，\"saidhe，\"thus？\"
\"Wouldyouhopetogainmyheart，Bidyourteasingdoubtsdepart;
Hewhoblindlytrusts，willfindFaithfromeverygenerousmind：
Hewhostillexpectsdeceit，Onlyteacheshowtocheat。\"
Mr。BaretticoaxedhimlikewiseonedayatStreathamoutofatranslationofEmirena’sspeechtothefalsecourtierAquileius，anditisprobablyprintedbeforenow，asIthinktwoorthreepeopletookcopies;butperhapsithasslippedtheirmemories。
\"Ah！tuincorteinvecchiasti，egiurereiChefraipochinonseitenaceancoraDell’anticaonesta：quandobisogna，SapraiserenoinvoltoVezzeggiareunnemico：acciovicada，Aprirgliinnanziunprecipizio，epoiPiangernelacaduta。OffrirtiatuttiEnonesserchetuo;difalselodiVestirleaccuse，edaggravarlecolpeNelfarneladifesa，ognordaltronoIbuoniallontanar;d’ognicastigoLasciarVodioalloseettro，cd’ognidonoIlmeritousurpar：tenernascostoSottounzeloapparenteunempiofine，Nefabbricarchesullealtruirouine。\"
\"Grownoldincourts，thouartnotsurelyoneWhokeepstherigidrulesofancienthonour;
Wellskilledtosootheafoewithlooksofkindness，Tosinkthefatalprecipicebeforehim，Andthenlamenthisfallwithseemingfriendship：
Opentoall，trueonlytothyself，Thouknow’stthoseartswhichblastwithenviouspraise，Whichaggravateafaultwithfeignedexcuses，Anddrivediscountenancedvirtuefromthethrone;
Thatleaveblameofrigourtotheprince，Andofhiseverygiftusurpthemerit;
Thathideinseemingzealawickedpurpose，Andonlybuilduponanother’sruin。\"
ThesecharactersDr。Johnson，however，didnotdelightinreading，orinhearingof：healwaysmaintainedthattheworldwasnothalfsowickedasitwasrepresented;andhemightverywellcontinueinthatopinion，asheresolutelydrovefromhimeverystorythatcouldmakehimchangeit;andwhenMr。Bickerstaff’sflightconfirmedthereportofhisguilt，andmyhusbandsaid，inanswertoJohnson’sastonishment，thathehadlongbeenasuspectedman：\"Bythosewholookclosetotheground，dirtwillbeseen，sir，\"wastheloftyreply。\"IhopeIseethingsfromagreaterdistance。\"
Hisdesiretogoabroad，particularlytoseeItaly，wasverygreat;andhehadalongingwish，too，toleavesomeLatinversesattheGrandChartreux。
Heloved，indeed，theveryactoftravelling，andIcannottellhowfaronemighthavetakenhiminacarriagebeforehewouldhavewishedforrefreshment。Hewasthereforeinsomerespectsanadmirablecompanionontheroad，ashepiquedhimselfuponfeelingnoinconvenience，andondespisingnoaccommodations。Ontheotherhand，however，heexpectednooneelsetofeelany，andfeltexceedinglyinflamedwithangerifanyonecomplainedoftherain，thesun，orthedust。\"How，\"saidhe，\"dootherpeoplebearthem？\"Asforgeneraluneasiness，orcomplaintsofloneconfinementinacarriage，heconsideredalllamentationsontheiraccountasproofsofanemptyhead，andatonguedesiroustotalkwithoutmaterialsofconversation。\"Amillthatgoeswithoutgrist，\"saidhe，\"isasgoodacompanionassuchcreatures。\"
Ipitiedafriendbeforehim，whohadawhiningwifethatfoundeverythingpainfultoher，andnothingpleasing。\"Hedoesnotknowthatshewhimpers，\"saysJohnson;\"whenadoorhascreakedforafortnighttogether，youmayobserve——themasterwillscarcelygivesixpencetogetitoiled。\"
Ofanotherlady，moreinsipidthanoffensive，Ionceheardhimsay，\"Shehassomesoftnessindeed，butsohasapillow。\"Andwhenoneobserved，inreply，thatherhusband’sfidelityandattachmentwereexemplary，notwithstandingthislowaccountatwhichherperfectionswererated——\"Why，sir，\"criestheDoctor，\"beingmarriedtothosesleepy—souledwomenisjustlikeplayingatcardsfornothing：nopassionisexcited，andthetimeisfilledup。Idonot，however，envyafellowoneofthosehoneysucklewivesformypart，astheyarebutCREEPERSatbest，andcommonlydestroythetreetheysotenderlyclingabout。\"
Foraladyofquality，sincedead，whoreceivedusatherhusband’sseatinWaleswithlessattentionthanhehadlongbeenaccustomedto，hehadarougherdenunciation。\"Thatwoman，\"criesJohnson，\"islikesoursmall—beer，thebeverageofhertable，andproduceofthewretchedcountryshelivesin：likethat，shecouldneverhavebeenagoodthing，andeventhatbadthingisspoiled。\"Thiswasinthesameveinofasperity，andI
believewithsomethinglikethesameprovocation，thatheobservedofaScotchlady，\"thatsheresembledadeadnettle;wereshealive，\"saidhe，\"shewouldsting。\"
Mr。Johnson’shatredoftheScotchissowellknown，andsomanyofhisbonsmotsexpressiveofthathatredhavebeenalreadyrepeatedinsomanybooksandpamphlets，that’tisperhapsscarcelyworthwhiletowritedowntheconversationbetweenhimandafriendofthatnationwhoalwaysresidesinLondon，andwhoathisreturnfromtheHebridesaskedhim，withafirmtoneofvoice，\"Whathethoughtofhiscountry？\"\"Thatitisaveryvilecountry，tobesure，sir，\"returnedforanswerDr。Johnson。\"Well，sir！\"
repliestheother，somewhatmortified，\"Godmadeit。\"\"CertainlyHedid，\"
answersMr。Johnsonagain，\"butwemustalwaysrememberthatHemadeitforScotchmen，andcomparisonsareodious，Mr。S————;butGodmadehell。\"
Dr。Johnsondidnot，Ithink，muchdelightinthatkindofconversationwhichconsistsintellingstories。\"Everybody，\"saidhe，\"tellsstoriesofme，andItellstoriesofnobody。Idonotrecollect，\"addedhe，\"thatI
haveevertoldYOU，thathavebeenalwaysfavourites，abovethreestories;
butIhopeIdonotplaytheOldFool，andforcepeopletohearuninterestingnarratives，onlybecauseIoncewasdivertedwiththemmyself。\"Hewas，however，noenemytothatsortoftalkfromthefamousMr。Foote，\"whosehappinessofmannerinrelatingwassuch，\"hesaid，\"assubduedarroganceandrousedstupidity。HISstoriesweretrulylikethoseofBironinLove’sLabour’sLost，soVERYattractive——
’Thatagedearsplayedtruantwithhistales，Andyoungerhearingswerequiteravished，Sosweetandvolublewashisdiscourse。’
Ofallconversers，however，\"addedhe，\"thelateHawkinsBrownewasthemostdelightfulwithwhomIeverwasincompany：histalkwasatoncesoelegant，soapparentlyartless，sopure，sopleasing，itseemedaperpetualstreamofsentiment，enlivenedbygaiety，andsparklingwithimages。\"WhenIaskedDr。Johnsonwhowasthebestmanhehadeverknown？\"Psalmanazar，\"
wastheunexpectedreply。Hesaid，likewise，\"thatthoughanativeofFrance，ashisfriendimagined，hepossessedmoreoftheEnglishlanguagethananyoneoftheotherforeignerswhohadseparatelyfalleninhisway。\"
Thoughtherewasmuchesteem，however，therewas，Ibelieve，butlittleconfidencebetweenthem;theyconversedmerelyaboutgeneraltopics，religionandlearning，ofwhichbothwereundoubtedlystupendousexamples;
and，withregardtotrueChristianperfection，IhaveheardJohnsonsay，\"ThatGeorgePsalmanazar’spiety，penitence，andvirtueexceededalmostwhatwereadaswonderfuleveninthelivesofsaints。\"
IforgetinwhatyearitwasthisextraordinarypersonlivedanddiedatahouseinOldStreet，whereMr。Johnsonwaswitnesstohistalentsandvirtues，andtohisfinalpreferenceoftheChurchofEngland，afterhavingstudied，disgraced，andadornedsomanymodesofworship。Thenamehewentbywasnotsupposedbyhisfriendtobethatofhisfamily，butallinquirieswerevain。Hisreasonsforconcealinghisoriginalwerepenitentiary;hedeservednoothernamethanthatoftheimpostor，hesaid。
