第2章

类别:其他 作者:HJALMAR HJORTH BOYSEN字数:17550更新时间:19/01/05 14:21:37
\"Ibegofyounottopersistinpayingmecompliments。Igettoomuchofthatcheaparticleelsewhere。IhatetobetoldthatIambetterthanIknowIam。Ifyouaretodomeanygoodbyyourinstruction,youmustbeperfectlysinceretowardme,andtellmeplainlyofmyshort—comings。IpromiseyoubeforehandthatIshallneverbeoffended。Thereismyhand。 Now,isitabargain?\" Hisfingersclosedinvoluntarilyoverthesoftbeautifulhand,andoncemoretheluxuryofhertouchsentathrillofdelightthroughhim。 \"Ihavenotbeeninsincere,\"hemurmured,\"butIshallbeonmyguardinfuture,evenagainsttheappearanceofinsincerity。\" \"AndwhenIplaydetestably,youwillsayso,andnotsmoothitoverwithunmeaningflatteries?\" \"Iwilltry。\" \"Verywell,thenweshallgetonwelltogether。Donotimaginethatthisisamerefemininewhimofmine。Ineverwasmoreinearnest。Men,andIbelieveforeigners,toagreaterdegreethanAmericans,havetheideathatwomenmustbetreatedwithgentleforbearance; thattheirfollies,iftheyarefoolish,mustbeglossedoverwithsomepolitename。 Theyexertthemselvestotheutmosttomakeusmereplaythings,and,assuch,contemptiblebothinourowneyesandintheirs。Nosincererespectcanexistwherethetruthhastobeavoided。ButthemajorityofAmericanwomenaremadeoftoosternastufftobedealtwithinthatway。Theyfeelthelurkinginsincerityevenwherepolitenessforbidsthemtoshowit,anditmakesthemdisgustedbothwiththemselves,andwiththeflatterer。Andnowyoumustpardonmeforhavingspokensoplainlytoyouonsoshortanacquaintance;butyouareaforeigner,anditmaybeanactoffriendshiptoinitiateyouassoonaspossibleintoourwaysandcustoms。\" Hehardlyknewwhattoanswer。Hervehemencewassosudden,andthesentimentsshehadutteredsodifferentfromthosewhichhehadhabituallyascribedtowomen,thathecouldonlysitandgazeatherinmuteastonishment。 Hecouldnotbutadmitthatinthemainshehadjudgedhimrightly,andthathisownattitudeandthatofothermentowardhersex,werebaseduponanimpliedassumptionofsuperiority。 \"IamafraidIhaveshockedyou,\"sheresumed,noticingthestartledexpressionofhiscountenance。\"Butreallyitwasquiteinevitable,ifwewereatalltounderstandeachother。 Youwillforgiveme,won’tyou?\" \"Forgive!\"stammeredhe,\"Ihavenothingtoforgive。Itwasonlyyourmercilesstruth— fulnesswhichstartledme。Iratheroweyouthanks,ifyouwillallowmetobegratefultoyou。Itseemsanenviableprivilege。\" \"Now,\"interruptedEdith,raisingherforefingerinplayfulthreat,\"rememberyourpromise。\" Thelessonwasnowcontinuedwithoutfurtherinterruption。Whenitwasfinished,alittlegirl,withherhairdoneupincurl—papers,andaverystifflystarcheddress,whichstoodoutonallsidesalmosthorizontally,entered,accompaniedbyMrs。VanKirk。Halfdanimmediatelyrecognizedhisacquaintancefromthepark,anditappearedtohimagoodomenthatthischild,whosefriendlyinterestinhimhadwarmedhisheartinamomentwhenhisfortunesseemedsodesperate,shouldcontinuetobeassociatedwithhislifeonthisnewcontinent。Clarawasevidentlygreatlyimpressedbythechangeinhisappearance,andcouldwithdifficultyberestrainedfromcommentinguponit。 Sheprovedaveryaptscholarinmusic,andenjoyedthelessonsthemoreforhercordiallikingofherteacher。 Itwillbenecessaryhenceforthtoomitthelesssignificantdetailsinthecareerofourfriend\"Mr。Birch。\"Beforeamonthwaspast,hehadfirmlyestablishedhimselfinthefavorofthedifferentmembersoftheVanKirkfamily。 Mrs。VanKirkspokeofhimtoherladyvisitorsas\"aperfectjewel,\"frequentlyleavingthemindoubtastowhetherhewasacookoracoachman。Edithapostrophizedhimtoherfashionablefriendsas\"arealgenius,\"leavingadimimpressionupontheirmindsofflowinglocks,ashinyvelvetjacket,slouchedhat,defiantneck—tieandageneralairofdisreputablepretentiousness。Geniusesoftheforeigntypewerenever,intheestimationoffashionableNewYorksociety,whatyouwouldcall\"exactlynice,\"andagainstprejudicesofthisordernoamountofargumentwilleverprevail。Clara,whohadbythistimediscoveredthatherteacherpossessedaninexhaustiblefundoffairystories,assuredherplaymatesacrossthestreetthathewas\"justsplendid,\"andfrequentlyinvitedthemovertolistentohiswonderfultales。Mr。 VanKirkhimself,ofcourse,wasnon—committal,butpaidthebillsunmurmuringly。 HalfdaninthemeanwhilewasvainlystrugglingagainsthisgrowingpassionforEdith; butthemoreherebelledthemorehopelesslyhefoundhimselfentangledinitsinextricablenet。Thefly,aslongasitkeepsquietinthespider’sweb,mayforamomentforgetitssituation;buttheleastefforttoescapeisapttofrustrateitselfandagainrevealtheimminentperil。Thushetoo\"kickedagainstthepricks,\" hoped,feared,rebelledagainsthisdestiny,andagain,fromsheerweariness,relapsedintoadull,benumbedapathy。Inspiteofherfriendlysympathy,heneverfeltsokeenlyhisalienismasinherpresence。Sheacceptedthespontaneoushomagehepaidher,sometimeswithimpatience,assomethingthatwasreallybeneathhernotice;atothertimesshefranklyrecognizedit,banteredhimwithhis\"OldWorldchivalry,\"whichwouldsoonevaporateinthepracticalAmericanatmosphere,andcalledhimherViking,herknightandherfaithfulsquire。 Butitneveroccurredtohertoregardhisdevotioninaseriouslight,andtolookuponhimasapossibleloverhadevidentlyneverenteredherhead。Astheirintercoursegrewmoreintimate,hehadvolunteeredtoreadhisfavoritepoetswithher,andhadgraduallysucceededinimpartingtohersomethingofhisownpassionatelikingforHeineandBjrnson。ShehadinreturncalledhisattentiontotheworksofAmericanauthorswhohadhithertobeenlittlemorethannamestohim,andtheyhadthusmanagedtobeofmutualbenefittoeachother,andtospendmanyapleasanthourduringthelongwinterafternoonsineachother’scompany。 ButEdithhadaverykeensenseofhumor,andcouldhardlyrestrainhersecretamusementwhensheheardhimreadingLongfellow’s\"PsalmofLife\"andPoe’s\"Raven\"(whichhadbeenfamiliartoherfromherbabyhood),oftenwithfalseaccent,butalwayswithintenseenthusiasm。 Thereflectionthathehadhadnopartofhislifeincommonwithher,——thathedidnotlovethethingswhichsheloved,——couldnotshareherprejudices(andwomenhaveafeelingakintocontemptforamanwhodoesnotrespondtotheirprejudices)——removedhimattimesalmostbeyondthereachofhersympathy。Itwasinterestingenoughaslongastheexperiencewasnovel,tobethusunconsciouslyexploringanotherperson’smindandfindingsomanystrangeobjectsthere;butafterawhilethethingbegantoassumeanuncomfortablyseriousaspect,andthenthereseemedtobesomethingalmostterribleaboutit。Atsuchtimesacallfromagentlemanofherownnation,eventhoughhewereoneoftheplacidlystupidtype,wouldbeapositiverelief;shecouldabandonherselftothesecuresenseofbeingathome; sheneedfearnosurprises,andinthesmoothshallowsoftheirtalktherewerenounsuspecteddepthstoexciteandtobaffleheringenuity。 And,again,revertinginherthoughttoHalfdan,hisconversationalbrilliancywouldalmostrepelher,assomethingodiousandun—American,thecheapresultofoutlandishbirthandunrepublicaneducation。Notthatshehadevervaluedrepublicanismveryhighly;shewasoneofthosewhoassociatedpoliticswithnoisyvulgarityinspeechanddress,andthereforethankedfortunethatwomenwerepermittedtokeepalooffromit。Butinthepresenceofthisalienshefoundherselfgrowingpatriotic;thatmuch—discussedabstraction,whichwecallourcountry(andwhichisnothingbuttheaggregateofalltheslowandinvisibleinfluenceswhichgotowardmakingupourownbeing),becamebydegreesaverypalpableandintelligiblefacttoher。 FrequentlywhileherAmericanselfwasthusloudlyassertingitself,Edithinflictedmanyacruelwounduponherforeignadorer。Once,—— itwastheFourthofJuly,morethanayearafterHalfdan’sarrival,anumberofyoungladiesandgentlemen,afterhavinglistenedtoapatrioticoration,wereinvitedintoaninformalluncheon。 Whilewaiting,theynaturallyenoughspenttheirtimeinsingingnationalsongs,andHalfdan’scleartenordidgoodserviceinkeepingthestragglingvoicestogether。Whentheyhadfinished,Edithwentuptohimandwasquiteeffusiveinherexpressionsofgratitude。 \"Iamsureweoughtalltobeverygratefultoyou,Mr。Birch,\"shesaid,\"andI,formypart,canassureyouthatIam。\" \"Grateful?Why?\"demandedHalfdan,lookingquiteunhappy。 \"ForsingingOURnationalsongs,ofcourse。 Now,won’tyousingoneofyourown,please? WeshouldallbesodelightedtohearhowaSwedish——orNorwegian,isit?——nationalsongsounds。\" \"Yes,Mr。Birch,DOsingaSwedishsong,\" echoedseveralvoices。 They,ofcourse,didnotevenremotelysuspecttheirowncruelty。Hehad,inhisenthusiasmforthedayallowedhimselftoforgetthathewasnotmadeofthesameclayastheywere,thathewasanexileandastranger,andmusteverremainso,thathehadnorighttosharetheirjoyintheblessingofliberty。Edithhadtakenpainstodispelthehappyillusion,andhadsenthimoncemorewhirlingtowardhiscoldnativePole。Hispassioncamenearchokinghim,and,toconcealhisimpetuousemotion,heflunghimselfdownonthepiano—stool,andstrucksomeintroductorychordswithperhapsalittlesuperfluousemphasis。SuddenlyhisvoiceburstoutintotheSwedishnationalanthem,\"OurLand,ourLand,ourFatherland,\"andtheairshookandpalpitatedwithstrongmartialmelody。 Hisindignation,hisloveandhismisery,impartedstrengthtohisvoice,anditsoccasionaltrembleinthePIANOpassageswassomethingmorethananartisticintention。Hewasloudlyapplaudedashearose,andtheyoungladiesthrongedabouthimtoaskifhe\"wouldn’tpleasewriteoutthemusicforthem。\" Thusmonthaftermonthpassedby,andeverydaybroughtitsownmisery。Mrs。VanKirk’spatronizingmanners,andostentatiouskindness,oftentestedhispatiencetotheutmost。Ifhewasguiltyofaninnocentwitticismoralittlequaintnessofexpression,shealwaysassumedittobeamistakeoftermsandcorrectedhimwithanairofbenignsuperiority。Attimes,ofcourse,hercorrectionswerelegitimate,asforinstance,whenhespokeofWEARINGacane,insteadofCARRYINGone,butinninecasesoutoftenthefaultlayinherownlackofimaginationandnotinhisignoranceofEnglish。OnsuchoccasionsEdithoftentookpityonhim,defendedhimagainsthermother’scriticism,andinsistedthatifthisorthatexpressionwasnotincommonvogue,thatwasnoreasonwhyitshouldnotbeused,asitwasperfectlygrammatical,and,moreover,inkeepingwiththespiritofthelanguage。Andhe,listeningpassivelyinadmiringsilencetoherargument,thankedherevenforthemomentarypainbecauseitwasfollowedbysogreatahappiness。 ForitwassosweettobedefendedbyEdith,tofeelthatheandshewerestandingtogethersidebysideagainsttheouterworld。Couldheonlyshowherintheoldheroicmannerhowmuchhelovedher!Wouldonlysomeonethatwasdeartoherdie,sothathe,inthatbreakingdownofsocialbarrierswhichfollowsagreatcalamity,mightcomfortherinhersorrow。 Wouldshethen,perhaps,weeping,leanherwonderfulheaduponhisbreast,feelingbutthathewasafellow—mortal,whohadaheartthatwasloyalandtrue,andforgetting,foronebriefinstant,thathewasaforeigner。Then,totouchthatdelicateElizabethanfrillwhichwounditselfsodaintilyaboutEdith’sneck—— whatinconceivablerapture!Butitwasquiteimpossible。Itcouldneverbe。Thesewereselfishthoughts,nodoubt,buttheywerealover’sselfishness,and,assuch,boreaclosekinshiptoallthatispurestandbestinhumannature。 Itisoneofthetragicfactsofthislife,thatarelationsounequalasthatwhichexistedbetweenHalfdanandEdith,isatallpossible。AsforEdith,Imustadmitthatshewaswellawarethatherteacherwasinlovewithher。Womenhavewonderfullykeensensesforphenomenaofthatkind,anditisanillusionifanyoneimagines,asourNorsemandid,thathehaslockedhissecretsecurelyinthehiddenchamberofhisheart。Infleetingintonations,unconsciousglancesandattitudes,andthroughahundredotherchannelsitwillmakeitswayout,andthebereavedjailermaystillclasphiskeyinfiercetriumph,neverknowingthathehasbeenrobbed。ItwasofcoursenofaultofEdith’sthatshehadbecomepossessedofHalfdan’sheart—secret。Sheregardeditasonthewholeratheranabsurdaffair,andprizeditverylightly。Thatalovesostrongandyetsohumble,sodestituteofhopeandstillsounchanging,reverentandfaithful,hadsomethinggrandandtouchinginit,hadneveroccurredtoher。Itisatruismtosaythatinoursocialcodethevalueofaman’scharacterisdeterminedbyhisposition; andfinetraitsinaforeigner(unlessheshouldhappentobesomethingverygreat) strikeusratheraspartofasupposedmentalalienism,andassuch,naturallysuspicious。Itisratherdisgracefulthanotherwisetohaveyourmusicteacherinlovewithyou,andcriticalfriendswillneverquitebanishthesuspicionthatyouhaveencouragedhim。 Edithhad,inherfirstdelightatthediscoveryofHalfdan’stalent,franklyadmittedhimtoarelationofapparentequality。Hewasamanofculture,hadthemannersandbearingofagentleman,andhadnoneofthosetheatricalairswhichsooftenraiseasortofinvisiblewallbetweenforeignersandAmericans。Hermother,wholovedtoplaythepatron,especiallytoyoungmen,hadinvitedhimtodinner—partiesandintroducedhimtotheirfriends,untilalmosteveryonelookeduponhimasaprotegeofthefamily。Heappearedsowellinaparlor,andhadreallysuchadistinguishedpresence,thatitwasapleasuretolookathim。HewasremarkablyfreefromthoseobnoxioustraitswhichgeneralizingAmericantravelershaveledustobelievewereinseparablefromforeignbirth;hisfinger—nailswereinnowayconspicuous;hedidnot,asaFrenchcount,aformeradorerofEdith’s,haddone,indulgeanunmasculinetastefordiamondrings(possiblybecausehehadnone);hispolitenesswasunobtrusiveandsubdued,andofhisaccenttherewasjustenoughlefttogiveanagreeablecolorofindividualitytohisspeech。But,forallthat,Edithcouldneverquiteridherselfoftheimpressionthathewasintenselyun—American。 Therewasacertainidyllicquiescenceabouthim,achild—likedirectnessandsimplicity,andatotalabsenceof\"push,\"whichwerestartlinglyatvariancewiththespiritofAmericanlife。AnAmericancouldneverhavebeencontenttoremaininaninferiorpositionwithouttrying,insomeway,tobetterhisfortunes。 ButHalfdancouldstandstillandsee,withoutthefainteststirringofenvy,hisplebeianfriendOlson,whoseeducationandtalentscouldbearnocomparisonwithhisown,riserapidlyabovehim,andapparentlyhavenodesiretoemulatehim。Hecouldsitonacricketinacorner,withClaraonhislap,andtwoorthreelittlegirlsnestlingabouthim,andtellthemfairystoriesbythehour,whilehiskindlyfacebeamedwithinnocenthappiness。AndifClara,tocoaxhimintocontinuingtheentertainment,offeredtokisshim,hismeasureofjoywasfull。 Thisfairchild,withheraffectionateways,andherconfidingprattle,woundherselfevermorecloselyabouthishomelessheart,andheclungtoherwithatouchingdevotion。Forshewastheonlyonewhoseemedtobeunconsciousofthedifferenceofblood,whohadnotyetlearnedthatshewasanAmericanandhe——aforeigner。 VI。 Threeyearshadpassedbyandstillthesituationwasunchanged。Halfdanstilltaughtmusicandtoldfairystoriestothechildren。Hehadagoodmanymorepupilsnowthanthreeyearsago,althoughhehadmadenoefforttosolicitpatronage,andhadnevertriedtoadvertisehistalentbywhatheregardedasvulgarandinartisticdisplay。ButMrs。VanKirk,whohadbythistimediscoveredhisdisinclinationtoasserthimself,hadbeenonlythemoreactive;had\"talkedhimup\"amongheraristocraticfriends; hadgivenmusicalsoirees,atwhichshehadcoaxedhimtoplaytheprincipalrole,andhadinvariousotherwaysexertedherselfinhisbehalf。Itwasgettingtobequitefashionabletoadmirehisquiet,unostentatiousstyleofplaying,whichwassofarremovedfromthenoisybravadoandclap—trapthencommonlyinvogue。 Evenprofessionalmusiciansbegantoindorsehim,andsome,whohaddiscoveredthat\"therewasmoneyinhim,\"madehimtemptingoffersforapublicengagement。But,withcharacteristicmodesty,hedistrustedtheirverdict;hissensitivenatureshrankfromanythingwhichhadtheappearanceofself—assertionordisplay。 ButEdith——ah,ifithadnotbeenforEdithhemighthavefoundcouragetoenteratthedooroffortune,whichwasnowopenedajar。 Thatfame,ifheshouldgainit,wouldbringhimanynearertoher,wasathoughtthatwasalientosounworldlyatemperamentashis。 Andanyactionthathadnobearinguponhisrelationtoher,lefthimcold——seemedunworthyoftheeffort。Ifshehadaskedhimtoplayinpublic;ifshehadrequiredofhimtogototheNorthPole,ortocuthisownthroat,Iverilybelievehewouldhavedoneit。AndatlastEdithdidaskhimtoplay。SheandOlsonhadplottedtogether,andfromtheveryfriendliestmotivesagreedtoplayintoeachother’shands。 \"IfyouonlyWOULDconsenttoplay,\"saidshe,inherownpersuasiveway,onedayastheyhadfinishedtheirlesson,\"weshouldallbesohappy。 Onlythinkhowproudweshouldbeofyoursuccess,foryouknowthereisnothingyoucan’tdointhewayofmusicifyoureallywantto。\" \"Doyoureallythinkso?\"exclaimedhe,whilehiseyessuddenlygrewlargeandluminous。 \"IndeedIdo,\"saidEdith,emphatically。 \"Andif——ifIplayedwell,\"falteredhe,\"woulditreallypleaseyou?\" \"Ofcourseitwould,\"criedEdith,laughing; \"howcanyouasksuchafoolishquestion?\" \"BecauseIhardlydaredtobelieveit。\" \"Nowlistentome,\"continuedthegirl,leaningforwardinherchair,andbeamingalloverwithkindlyofficiousness;\"nowforonceyoumustberationalanddojustwhatItellyou。I shallneverlikeyouagainifyouopposemeinthis,forIhavesetmyheartuponit;youmustpromisebeforehandthatyouwillbegoodandnotmakeanyobjection。Doyouhear?\" WhenEdithassumedthistonetowardhim,shemightwellhavemadehimpromisetoperformmiracles。Shewastoointentuponherbenevolentschemetoheedthepossibleinferenceswhichhemightdrawfromhersuddendisplayofinterest。 \"Thenyoupromise?\"repeatedshe,eagerly,ashehesitatedtoanswer。 \"Yes,Ipromise。\" \"Now,youmustnotbesurprised;butmammaandIhavemadearrangementswithMr。 S————thatyouaretoappearunderhisauspicesataconcertwhichistobegivenaweekfromto—night。Allourfriendsaregoing,andweshalltakeupallthefrontseats,andIhavealreadytoldmygentlemenfriendstoscatterthroughtheaudience,andiftheycareanythingformyfavor,theywillhavetoapplaudvigorously。\" Halfdanreddeneduptohistemples,andbegantotwisthiswatch—chainnervously。 \"Youmusthavesmallconfidenceinmyability,\"hemurmured,\"sinceyouresorttoprecautionslikethese。\" \"ButmydearMr。Birch,\"criedEdith,whowasquicktodiscoverthatshehadmadeamistake,\"itisnotkindinyoutomistrustmeinthatway。IfaNewYorkaudiencewereashighlycultivatedinmusicasyouare,Iadmitthatmyprecautionswouldbesuperfluous。Butthepapers,youknow,willtaketheirtonefromtheaudience,andthereforewemustmakeuseofalittleinnocentartificetomakesureofit。 Everythingdependsuponthesuccessofyourfirstpublicappearance,andifyourfriendscaninthiswayhelpyoutoestablishthereputationwhichisnothingbutyourright,Iamsureyououghtnottobindtheirhandsbyyourfoolishsensitiveness。Youdon’tknowtheAmericanwayofdoingthingsaswellasIdo,thereforeyoumuststandbyyourpromise,andleaveeverythingtome。\" ItwasimpossiblenottobelievethatanythingEdithchosetodowasabovereproach。Shelookedsobewitchinginherexcitedeagernessforhiswelfarethatitwouldhavebeeninhumantoopposeher。Sohemeeklysuccumbed,andbegantodiscusswithhertheprogrammefortheconcert。 Duringthenextweektherewashardlyadaythathedidnotreadsomestartlingparagraphinthenewspapersabout\"thecelebratedScandinavianpianist,\"whoseappearanceatS———— Hallwaslookedforwardtoastheprincipaleventofthecomingseason。Heinwardlyrebelledagainstthewell—meantexaggerations; butashesuspectedthatitwasEdith’sinfluencewhichwasinthiswayassertingitselfinhisbehalf,hesethisconscienceatrestandremainedsilent。 Theeveningoftheconcertcameatlast,and,asthepapersstatedthenextmorning,\"thelargehallwascrowdedtoitsutmostcapacitywithaselectandhighlyappreciativeaudience。\" Edithmusthaveplayedherpartoftheperformanceskillfully,forashewalkedoutuponthestage,hewaswelcomedwithanenthusiasticburstofapplause,asifhehadbeenaworld— renownedartist。AtEdith’ssuggestion,hertwofavoritenocturneshadbeenplacedfirstupontheprogramme;thenfollowedoneofthoseballadsofChopin,whoserhythmicdinandrushsweeponward,beleagueringtheearlikeeager,melodioushosts,charginginthickeningranksandcolumns,beatingimpetuousretreats,andagainunitingwithonegrandemotionthewide—spreadingarmyofsoundforthefinalvictory。Besidesthese,therewasoneofLiszt’s\"RhapsodiesHongroises,\"animpromptubySchubert,andseveralorchestralpieces;butthegreaterpartoftheprogrammewasdevotedtoChopin,becauseHalfdan,withhisgreat,hopelesspassionlaboringinhisbreast,feltthathecouldinterpretChopinbetterthanhecouldanyothercomposer。Hecarriedhisaudiencebystorm。Asheretiredtothedressing—room,afterhavingfinishedthelastpiece,hisfriends,amongwhomEdithandMrs。VanKirkwerethemostconspicuous,throngedabouthim,showeringtheirpraisesandcongratulationsuponhim。Theyinsistedwithmuchfriendlyurgingupontakinghimhomeintheircarriage; Clarakissedhim,Mrs。VanKirkintroducedhimtoherladyacquaintancesas\"ourfriend,Mr。Birch,\"andEdithheldhishandsolonginhersthathecamenearlosinghispresenceofmindandtellingherthenandtherethathelovedher。Ashiseyesrestedonher,theybecamesuddenlysuffusedwithtears,andavastbewilderinghappinessvibratedthroughhisframe。Atlasthetorehimselfawayandwanderedaimlesslythroughthelong,lonelystreets。 WhycouldhenottellEdiththathelovedher? Wasthereanydisgraceinloving?Thisheavenlypassionwhichsosuddenlyhadtransfusedhisbeing,andyearbyyeardeadenedthesubstanceofhisoldself,creatinginitssteadsomethingnewandwildandstrangewhichhenevercouldknow,butstillheldinfinitelydear——haditbeensenttohimmerelyasascourgetotesthiscapacityforsuffering? Once,whilehewasachild,hismotherhadtoldhimthatsomewhereinthiswideworldtherelivedamaidenwhomGodhadcreatedforhim,andforhimalone,andwhenheshouldseeher,heshouldloveher,andhislifeshouldthenceforthbeallforher。Ithadhardlyoccurredtohim,then,toquestionwhethershewouldlovehiminreturn,ithadappearedsoverynaturalthatsheshould。Nowhehadfoundthismaiden,andshehadbeenverykindtohim;butherkindnesshadbeenlittlebetterthancruelty,becausehehaddemandedsomethingmorethankindness。Andstillhehadnevertoldherofhislove。Hemusttellhereventhisverynightwhilethemoonrodehighintheheavensandallthesmalldifferencesbetweenhumanbeingsseemedlostinthevaststarlitstillness。Heknewwellthatbytherelentlessglareofthedaylighthisowninsignificancewouldbecruellyconspicuousinthepresenceofhersplendor;hisscrupleswouldrevive,andhiscouragefade。 Thenightwasclearandstill。Aclockstruckeleveninsomechurchtowernearby。TheVanKirkmansionrosetallandstatelyinthemoonlight,flingingadensemassofshadowacrossthestreet。Upinthethirdstoryhesawtwowindowslighted;thecurtainsweredrawn,buttheblindswerenotclosed。Alltherestofthehousewasdark。HeraisedhisvoiceandsangaSwedishserenadewhichseemedinperfectconcordwithhisownmood。Hiscleartenorrosethroughthesilenceofthenight,andafeebleechoflungitbackfromthemansionopposite: [3]\"Star,sweetstar,thatbrightlybeamest,Glitteringontheskiesnocturnal,Hidethineeyenomorefromme,Hidethineeyenomorefromme!\" [3]FreetranslationofaSwedishserenade,thenameofwhoseauthorI haveforgotten。H。H。B。 Thecurtainwasdrawnaside,thewindowcautiouslyraised,andtheoutlineofEdith’sbeautifulheadappeareddarkanddistinctagainstthelightwithin。Sheinstantlyrecognizedhim。 \"Youmustgoaway,Mr。Birch,\"camehervoiceinananxiouswhisperoutoftheshadow。 \"Praygoaway。Youwillwakeupthepeople。\" Herwordswereaudibleenough,buttheyfailedtoconveyanymeaningtohisexcitedmind。Oncemorehisvoicefloatedupwardtoheropenedwindow: \"AndIyearntoreachthydwelling,Yearntorisefromearth’sfierceturmoil; Sweeteststarupwardtothee,Yearntorise,brightstartothee。\" \"DearMr。Birch,\"shewhisperedoncemoreintonesofdistress。\"PrayDOgoaway。Orperhaps,\"sheinterruptedherself\"——waitonemomentandIwillcomedown。\" Presentlythefrontdoorwasnoiselesslyopened,andEdith’stall,litheform,dressedinawhiteflowingdress,andwithherblondehairrollinglooselyoverhershoulders,appearedforaninstant,andthenagainvanished。WithoneleapHalfdansprangupthestairsandpushedthroughthehalf—openeddoor。Edithclosedthedoorbehindhim,thenwithrapidstepsledthewaytothebackparlorwherethemoonbrokefeeblythroughthebarsoftheclosedshutters。 \"NowMr。Birch,\"shesaid,seatingherselfuponalounge,\"youmayexplaintomewhatthisunaccountablebehaviorofyoursmeans。 IshouldhardlythinkIhaddeservedtobetreatedinthiswaybyyou。\" Halfdanwasutterlybewildered;anervousfitoftremblingranthroughhim,andheendeavoredinvaintospeak。Hehadbeenpreparedforpassionatereproaches,butthiscalmseveritychilledhimthrough,andhecouldonlygaspandtremble,butcouldutternowordinhisdefense。 \"Isupposeyouareaware,\"continuedEdith,inthesameimperturbablemanner,\"thatifI hadnotinterruptedyou,thepolicemanwouldhaveh*eardyou,andyouwouldhavebeenarrestedforstreetdisturbance。Thento—morrowweshouldhaveseenitinallthenewspapers,andIshouldhavebeenthelaughing—stockofthewholetown。\" No,surelyhehadneverthoughtofitinthatlight;theideastruckhimasentirelynew。 Therewasalongpause。Acockcrowedwithadrowsyremotenessinsomeneighboringyard,andthelittleclockonthemantel—piecetickedonpatientlyinthemoonlitdusk。 \"Ifyouhavenothingtosay,\"resumedEdith,whilethesternindifferenceinhervoiceperceptiblyrelaxed,\"thenIwillbidyougood— night。\" Shearose,andwithagrandsweepofherdrapery,movedtowardthedoor。 \"MissEdith,\"criedhe,stretchinghishandsdespairinglyafterher,\"youmustnotleaveme。\" Shepaused,tossedherhairbackwithherhands,andgazedathimoverhershoulder。Hethrewhimselfonhisknees,seizedthehemofherdress,andpressedittohislips。Itwasagestureofsuchinexpressiblehumilitythatevenastonewouldhaverelented。 \"Donotbefoolish,Mr。Birch,\"shesaid,try— ingtopullherdressawayfromhim。\"Getup,andifyouhaveanythingrationaltosaytome,Iwillstayandlisten。\" \"Yes,yes,\"hewhispered,hoarsely,\"Ishallberational。Onlydonotleaveme。\" Sheagainsankdownwearilyuponthelounge,andlookedathiminexpectantsilence。 \"MissEdith,\"pleadedheinthesamehoarse,passionateundertone,\"havepityonme,anddonotdespiseme。Iloveyou——oh——ifyouwouldbutallowmetodieforyou,Ishouldbethehappiestofmen。\" Againheshuddered,andstoodlonggazingatherwithamute,pitifulappeal。AtearstoleintoEdith’seyeandtrickleddownoverhercheek。 \"Ah,Mr。Birch,\"shemurmured,whileasighshookherbosom,\"Iamsorry——verysorrythatthismisfortunehashappenedtoyou。Youhavedeservedabetterfatethantoloveme——toloveawomanwhocannevergiveyouanythinginreturnforwhatyougiveher。\" \"Never?\"herepeatedmournfully,\"never?\" \"No,never!Youhavebeenagoodfriendtome,andassuchIvalueyouhighly,andIhadhopedthatyouwouldalwaysremainso。ButIseethatitcannotbe。Itwillperhapsbebestforyouhenceforthnottoseeme,atleastnotuntil——pardontheexpression——youhaveout— livedthisgenerousfolly。Andnow,youknow,youwillneedmenomore。Youhavemadeasplendidreputation,andifyouchoosetoavailyourselfofit,yourfortuneisalreadymade。I shallalwaysrejoicetohearofyoursuccess,and——andifyoushouldeverneedaFRIEND,youmustcometonoonebutme。Iknowthatthesearefeeblewords,Mr。Birch,andiftheyseemcoldtoyou,youmustpardonme。Icansaynothingmore。\" Theywereindeedfeeblewords,althoughmostcordiallyspoken。Hetriedtoweighthem,tomeasuretheirmeaning,buthismindwasasifbenumbed,andutterlyincapableofthought。 Hewalkedacrossthefloor,perhapsonlytodosomething,notfeelingwherehetrod,butstillwithanabsurdsensationthathewastakingimmoderatelylongsteps。Thenhestoppedabruptly,wrunghishands,andgazedatEdith。 Andsuddenly,likeaflashinavacuum,thethoughtshotthroughhisbrainthathehadseenthisveryscenesomewhere——inadream,inaremotechildhood,inapreviousexistence,hedidnotknowwhenorwhere。Itseemedstrangelyfamiliar,andinthenextinstantstrangelymean— inglessandunreal。Thewalls,thefloor—— everythingbegantomove,towhirlabouthim;hestruckhishandsagainsthisforehead,andsankdownintoadamask—coveredeasy—chair。Withafaintcryofalarm,Edithsprangup,seizedabottleofcolognewhichhappenedtobewithinreach,andkneltdownathisside。Sheputherarmaroundhisneck,andraisedhishead。 \"Mr。Birch,dearMr。Birch,\"shecried,inafrightenedwhisper,\"forGod’ssakecometoyourself!OGod,whathaveIdone?\" Sheblewtheeau—de—cologneintohisface,and,ashelanguidlyopenedhiseyes,hefeltthetouchofherwarmhanduponhischeeksandhisforehead。 \"Thankheaven!heisbetter,\"shemurmured,stillcontinuingtobathehistemples。\"Howdoyoufeelnow,Mr。Birch?\"sheadded,inatoneofanxiousinquiry。 \"Thankyou,itwasanunpardonableweakness,\" hemuttered,withoutchanginghisattitude。 \"Donottroubleyourselfaboutme。I shallsoonbewell。\" Itwassosweettobeconsciousofhergentleministry,thatitrequiredagreateffort,aneffortofconscience,torousehimoncemore,ashisstrengthreturned。 \"Hadyounotbetterstay?\"sheasked,asherosetoputonhisovercoat。\"Iwillcalloneoftheservantsandhavehimshowyouaroom。 Wewillsayto—morrowmorningthatyouweretakenill,andnobodywillwonder。\" \"No,no,\"heresponded,energetically。\"I amperfectlystrongnow。\"Buthestillhadtoleanonachair,andhisfacewasdeathlypale。 \"Farewell,MissEdith,\"hesaid;andatendersadnesstrembledinhisvoice。\"Farewell。Weshall——probably——nevermeetagain。\" \"Donotspeakso,\"sheanswered,seizinghishand。\"Youwilltrytoforgetthis,andyouwillstillbegreatandhappy。Andwhenfortuneshallagainsmileuponyou,and——and—— youwillbecontenttobemyfriend,thenweshallseeeachotherasbefore。\" \"No,no,\"hebrokeforth,withasuddenhoarseness。\"Itwillneverbe。\" Hewalkedtowardthedoorwiththemotionsofonewhofeelsdeathinhislimbs;thenstoppedoncemoreandhiseyeslingeredwithinexpressiblesadnessonthewonderful,belovedformwhichstooddimlyoutlinedbeforehiminthetwilight。ThenEdith’smeasureofmisery,too,seemedfull。Withthedivineheedlessnesswhichbelongstohersex,sherusheduptowardhim,andrememberingonlythathewasweakandunhappy,andthathesufferedforhersake,shetookhisfacebetweenherhandsandkissedhim。Hewastoogenerousamantomisinterprettheact;sohewhisperedbutoncemore: \"Farewell,\"andhastenedaway。 VII。 AfterthateventfulDecembernight,AmericawasnomorewhatithadbeentoHalfdanBjerk。Astrangetorpidityhadcomeoverhim; everyrisingdaygazedintohiseyeswithafierceunmeaningglare。Thenoiseofthestreetannoyedhimandmadehimchildishlyfretful,andthesolitudeofhisownroomseemedstillmoredrearyanddepressing。Hewentmechanicallythroughthedailyroutineofhisdutiesasifthesoulhadbeentakenoutofhiswork,andlefthislifeallbarrennessanddesolation。Hemovedrestlesslyfromplacetoplace,roamedatalltimesofthedayandnightthroughthecityanditssuburbs,tryingvainlytoexhausthisphysicalstrength;gradually,ashislethargydeepenedintoanumb,helplessdespair,itseemedsomehowtoimpartacertaintoughnesstohisotherwisedelicateframe。Olson,whowasnowajuniorpartnerinthefirmofRemsen,VanKirkandCo。,stoodbyhimfaithfullyinthesedaysofsorrow。Hewasnevereffusiveinhissympathy,butwaspatientlyforbearingwithhisfriend’swhimsandmoods,andhumoredhimasifhehadbeenasickchildintrustedtohiscustody。ThatEdithmightbethemovingcauseofOlson’skindnesswasathoughtwhich,strangelyenough,hadneveroccurredtoHalfdan。 Atlast,whenspringcame,thevacancyofhismindwassuddenlyinvadedwithastrongdesiretorevisithisnativeland。HedisclosedhisplantoOlson,who,afterduedeliberationandseveralvisitstotheVanKirkmansion,decidedthatthepleasureofseeinghisoldfriendsandthescenesofhischildhoodmightpushthepainfulmemoriesoutofsight,andrenewhisinterestinlife。So,onemorning,whiletheMaysunshonewithasoftradianceuponthebeautifulharbor,ourNorsemanfoundhimselfstandingonthedeckofahugeblack—hulledCunarder,shiveringinspiteofthewarmth,andfeelingachilllonelinesscreepingoverhimatthesightofthekissingandaffectionateleave— takingswhichweregoingonallaroundhim。 Olsonwasrunningbackandforth,attendingtohisbaggage;buthehimselftooknothought,andfeltnomoreresponsibilitythanifhehadbeenahelplesschild。Hehalfregrettedthathisownwishhadprevailed,andwasinclinedtoholdhisfriendresponsibleforit;andstillhehadnotenergyenoughtoprotestnowwhenthejourneyseemedinevitable。Hisheartstillclungtotheplacewhichheldthecorpseofhisruinedlife,asamanmayclingtothespotwhichhideshisbeloveddead。 AbouttwoweekslaterHalfdanlandedinNorway。Hewashalfreluctanttoleavethesteamer,andthelandofhisbirthexcitednoemotioninhisbreast。HewasbutconsciousofadimregretthathewassofarawayfromEdith。Atlast,however,hebetookhimselftoahotel,wherehespenttheafternoonsittingwithhalf—closedeyesatawindow,watchinglistlesslythedrowsyslow—pulsedlifewhichdribbledlanguidlythroughthenarrowthoroughfare。ThenoisyuproarofBroadwaychimedremotelyinhisears,likethedistantroarofatempest—tossedsea,andwhathadoncebeenaperpetualannoyancewasnowasweetmemory。HowoftenwithEdithathissidehadhethreadedhiswaythroughthesurgingcrowdsthatpour,onafineafternoon,inanunceasingcurrentupanddownthestreetbetweenUnionandMadisonSquares。Howfriendly,andsweet,andgracious,Edithhadbeenatsuchtimes; howfreshhervoice,howwittyandanimatedherchanceremarkswhentheystoppedtogreetapassingacquaintance;and,aboveall,howinspiringthesightofherheavenlybeauty。 Nowthatwasallpast。PerhapsheshouldneverseeEdithagain。 Thenextdayhesaunteredthroughthecity,meetingsomeoldfriends,whoallseemedchangedandsingularlyuninteresting。Theywereallengagedormarried,andcouldtalkofnothingbutmatrimony,andtheirprospectsofadvancementintheGovernmentservice。Onehadaninfluentialunclewhohadbeenachumofthepresentministeroffinance;anotherbasedhishopesoffutureprosperityuponthefamilyconnectionsofhisbetrothed,andathirdwaswaitingwithapatientperseverance,worthyofabettercause,forthedeathorresignationofanantiquatedchef—de—bureau,which,accordingtothepromiseofsomemightyman,wouldopenapositionforhimintheDepartmentofJustice。 AllhadthemostabsurdtheoriesaboutAmericandemocracy,andindulgedfreelyinpropheciesofcomingdisasters;butabouttheirowngovernmenttheyhadnoopinionwhatever。IfHalfdanattemptedtosetthemright,theyatoncegrewexcitedanddeclamatory;theiropinionswerebaseduponconvictionandacharmingignoranceoffacts,andtheywerenottobemoved。TheyknewallaboutTweedandtheTammanyRing,andbelievedthemtoberepresentativecitizensofNewYork,ifnotoftheUnitedStates;butofCharlesSumnerandCarlSchurztheyhadneverheard。Halfdan,who,inspiteofhismisfortunesinthelandofhisadoption,cherishedaverytenderfeelingforit,wasoftensothoroughlyarousedatthefoolishprejudiceswhicheverywheremethim,thathistorpiditygraduallythawedaway,andhebegantolookmorelikehisformerself。 TowardautumnhereceivedaninvitationtovisitacountryclergymanintheNorth,adistantrelativeofhisfather’s,andtherewhiledawayhistime,fishingandshooting,untilwintercame。ButasChristmasdrewnear,andthedaywrestledfeeblywiththeall—conqueringnight,theoldsorrowrevived。Inthedarknesswhichnowbroodedoverlandandsea,thethoughtsneedednolongerbeonguardagainstthemselves; theycouldroamfarandwideastheylisted。WherewasEdithnow,thesweet,thewonderfulEdith?Wasthereyetthesamedancinglightinherbeautifuleyes,thesamegoldensheeninherhair,thesamemerryringinhervoice?Andhadshenotsaidthatwhenhewascontenttobeonlyherfriend,hemightreturntoher,andshewouldreceivehimintheoldjoyousandconfidingway?Surelytherewasnolifetohimapartfromher:whyshouldhenotbeherfriend?Onlyaglimpseofherlovelyface——ah,itwasworthalifetime;itwouldconsecrateanageofmisery,aglimpseofEdith’sface。Thusranhisfanciesdaybyday,andthenightonlylentadeeperintensitytotheyearningsoftheday。Hewalkedaboutasinadream,seeingnothing,heedingnothing,whilethisonestrongdesire——toseeEdithoncemore——throbbedandthrobbedwithaslow,feverishperseverancewithinhim。Edith——Edith,theverynamehadastrange,potentfascination。 Everythoughtwhispered\"Edith,\"——hispulsebeat\"Edith,\"——andhisheartrepeatedthebelovedname。Itwashispulse—beat,——hisheartbeat,——hislife—beat。 Andonemorningashestoodabsentlylookingathisfingersagainstthelight——andtheyseemedstrangelywanandtransparent——thethoughtatlasttookshape。Itrusheduponhimwithsuchvehemence,thathecouldnomoreresistit。Sohebadetheclergymangood—bye,gatheredhisfewworldlygoodstogetherandsetoutforBergen。TherehefoundanEnglishsteamerwhichcarriedhimtoHull,andafewweekslater,hewasoncemoreinNewYork。 ItwaslateoneeveninginJanuarythatatug—boatarrivedandtookthecabinpassengersashore。Themoonsailedtranquillyoverthedeepbluedomeofthesky,thestarstracedtheirglitteringpathsoflightfromthezenithdownward,anditwassharp,bittercold。Northwardovertheriverlayagreatbankofcloud,dense,grayandmassive,thespectreofthecomingsnow—storm。Thereitlaysohugeandfantasticallyhuman,rufflingitselfup,asfowlsdo,indefenseagainstthecold。Halfdanwalkedonatabriskrate——strangetosay,allthestreet— carshemetwentthewrongway——startlingeverynowandthensomepreciousmemory,somewordorlookorgestureofEdith’swhichhadhoveredlongoverthosescenes,waitingforhisrecognition。Therewasthegreatjewel—storewhereEdithhadtakenhimsooftentoconsulthistastewheneverafriendofherswastobemarried。ItwastherethattheyhadhadanamicablequarreloverthatbronzestatueofFaustwhichshehadfoundbeautiful,whilehe,witharudenesswhichseemednowquiteincomprehensible,hadinsistedthatitwasnot。 Andwhenhehadfailedtoconvinceher,shehadgivenhimherhandintokenofreconciliation—— andEdithhadawonderfulwayofgivingherhand,whichmadeanyonefeelthatitwasapeculiarprivilegetopressit——andtheyhadwalkedoutarminarmintotheanimated,gas—