\"Ibegofyounottopersistinpayingmecompliments。Igettoomuchofthatcheaparticleelsewhere。IhatetobetoldthatIambetterthanIknowIam。Ifyouaretodomeanygoodbyyourinstruction,youmustbeperfectlysinceretowardme,andtellmeplainlyofmyshort—comings。IpromiseyoubeforehandthatIshallneverbeoffended。Thereismyhand。
Now,isitabargain?\"
Hisfingersclosedinvoluntarilyoverthesoftbeautifulhand,andoncemoretheluxuryofhertouchsentathrillofdelightthroughhim。
\"Ihavenotbeeninsincere,\"hemurmured,\"butIshallbeonmyguardinfuture,evenagainsttheappearanceofinsincerity。\"
\"AndwhenIplaydetestably,youwillsayso,andnotsmoothitoverwithunmeaningflatteries?\"
\"Iwilltry。\"
\"Verywell,thenweshallgetonwelltogether。Donotimaginethatthisisamerefemininewhimofmine。Ineverwasmoreinearnest。Men,andIbelieveforeigners,toagreaterdegreethanAmericans,havetheideathatwomenmustbetreatedwithgentleforbearance;
thattheirfollies,iftheyarefoolish,mustbeglossedoverwithsomepolitename。
Theyexertthemselvestotheutmosttomakeusmereplaythings,and,assuch,contemptiblebothinourowneyesandintheirs。Nosincererespectcanexistwherethetruthhastobeavoided。ButthemajorityofAmericanwomenaremadeoftoosternastufftobedealtwithinthatway。Theyfeelthelurkinginsincerityevenwherepolitenessforbidsthemtoshowit,anditmakesthemdisgustedbothwiththemselves,andwiththeflatterer。Andnowyoumustpardonmeforhavingspokensoplainlytoyouonsoshortanacquaintance;butyouareaforeigner,anditmaybeanactoffriendshiptoinitiateyouassoonaspossibleintoourwaysandcustoms。\"
Hehardlyknewwhattoanswer。Hervehemencewassosudden,andthesentimentsshehadutteredsodifferentfromthosewhichhehadhabituallyascribedtowomen,thathecouldonlysitandgazeatherinmuteastonishment。
Hecouldnotbutadmitthatinthemainshehadjudgedhimrightly,andthathisownattitudeandthatofothermentowardhersex,werebaseduponanimpliedassumptionofsuperiority。
\"IamafraidIhaveshockedyou,\"sheresumed,noticingthestartledexpressionofhiscountenance。\"Butreallyitwasquiteinevitable,ifwewereatalltounderstandeachother。
Youwillforgiveme,won’tyou?\"
\"Forgive!\"stammeredhe,\"Ihavenothingtoforgive。Itwasonlyyourmercilesstruth—
fulnesswhichstartledme。Iratheroweyouthanks,ifyouwillallowmetobegratefultoyou。Itseemsanenviableprivilege。\"
\"Now,\"interruptedEdith,raisingherforefingerinplayfulthreat,\"rememberyourpromise。\"
Thelessonwasnowcontinuedwithoutfurtherinterruption。Whenitwasfinished,alittlegirl,withherhairdoneupincurl—papers,andaverystifflystarcheddress,whichstoodoutonallsidesalmosthorizontally,entered,accompaniedbyMrs。VanKirk。Halfdanimmediatelyrecognizedhisacquaintancefromthepark,anditappearedtohimagoodomenthatthischild,whosefriendlyinterestinhimhadwarmedhisheartinamomentwhenhisfortunesseemedsodesperate,shouldcontinuetobeassociatedwithhislifeonthisnewcontinent。Clarawasevidentlygreatlyimpressedbythechangeinhisappearance,andcouldwithdifficultyberestrainedfromcommentinguponit。
Sheprovedaveryaptscholarinmusic,andenjoyedthelessonsthemoreforhercordiallikingofherteacher。
Itwillbenecessaryhenceforthtoomitthelesssignificantdetailsinthecareerofourfriend\"Mr。Birch。\"Beforeamonthwaspast,hehadfirmlyestablishedhimselfinthefavorofthedifferentmembersoftheVanKirkfamily。
Mrs。VanKirkspokeofhimtoherladyvisitorsas\"aperfectjewel,\"frequentlyleavingthemindoubtastowhetherhewasacookoracoachman。Edithapostrophizedhimtoherfashionablefriendsas\"arealgenius,\"leavingadimimpressionupontheirmindsofflowinglocks,ashinyvelvetjacket,slouchedhat,defiantneck—tieandageneralairofdisreputablepretentiousness。Geniusesoftheforeigntypewerenever,intheestimationoffashionableNewYorksociety,whatyouwouldcall\"exactlynice,\"andagainstprejudicesofthisordernoamountofargumentwilleverprevail。Clara,whohadbythistimediscoveredthatherteacherpossessedaninexhaustiblefundoffairystories,assuredherplaymatesacrossthestreetthathewas\"justsplendid,\"andfrequentlyinvitedthemovertolistentohiswonderfultales。Mr。
VanKirkhimself,ofcourse,wasnon—committal,butpaidthebillsunmurmuringly。
HalfdaninthemeanwhilewasvainlystrugglingagainsthisgrowingpassionforEdith;
butthemoreherebelledthemorehopelesslyhefoundhimselfentangledinitsinextricablenet。Thefly,aslongasitkeepsquietinthespider’sweb,mayforamomentforgetitssituation;buttheleastefforttoescapeisapttofrustrateitselfandagainrevealtheimminentperil。Thushetoo\"kickedagainstthepricks,\"
hoped,feared,rebelledagainsthisdestiny,andagain,fromsheerweariness,relapsedintoadull,benumbedapathy。Inspiteofherfriendlysympathy,heneverfeltsokeenlyhisalienismasinherpresence。Sheacceptedthespontaneoushomagehepaidher,sometimeswithimpatience,assomethingthatwasreallybeneathhernotice;atothertimesshefranklyrecognizedit,banteredhimwithhis\"OldWorldchivalry,\"whichwouldsoonevaporateinthepracticalAmericanatmosphere,andcalledhimherViking,herknightandherfaithfulsquire。
Butitneveroccurredtohertoregardhisdevotioninaseriouslight,andtolookuponhimasapossibleloverhadevidentlyneverenteredherhead。Astheirintercoursegrewmoreintimate,hehadvolunteeredtoreadhisfavoritepoetswithher,andhadgraduallysucceededinimpartingtohersomethingofhisownpassionatelikingforHeineandBjrnson。ShehadinreturncalledhisattentiontotheworksofAmericanauthorswhohadhithertobeenlittlemorethannamestohim,andtheyhadthusmanagedtobeofmutualbenefittoeachother,andtospendmanyapleasanthourduringthelongwinterafternoonsineachother’scompany。
ButEdithhadaverykeensenseofhumor,andcouldhardlyrestrainhersecretamusementwhensheheardhimreadingLongfellow’s\"PsalmofLife\"andPoe’s\"Raven\"(whichhadbeenfamiliartoherfromherbabyhood),oftenwithfalseaccent,butalwayswithintenseenthusiasm。
Thereflectionthathehadhadnopartofhislifeincommonwithher,——thathedidnotlovethethingswhichsheloved,——couldnotshareherprejudices(andwomenhaveafeelingakintocontemptforamanwhodoesnotrespondtotheirprejudices)——removedhimattimesalmostbeyondthereachofhersympathy。Itwasinterestingenoughaslongastheexperiencewasnovel,tobethusunconsciouslyexploringanotherperson’smindandfindingsomanystrangeobjectsthere;butafterawhilethethingbegantoassumeanuncomfortablyseriousaspect,andthenthereseemedtobesomethingalmostterribleaboutit。Atsuchtimesacallfromagentlemanofherownnation,eventhoughhewereoneoftheplacidlystupidtype,wouldbeapositiverelief;shecouldabandonherselftothesecuresenseofbeingathome;
sheneedfearnosurprises,andinthesmoothshallowsoftheirtalktherewerenounsuspecteddepthstoexciteandtobaffleheringenuity。
And,again,revertinginherthoughttoHalfdan,hisconversationalbrilliancywouldalmostrepelher,assomethingodiousandun—American,thecheapresultofoutlandishbirthandunrepublicaneducation。Notthatshehadevervaluedrepublicanismveryhighly;shewasoneofthosewhoassociatedpoliticswithnoisyvulgarityinspeechanddress,andthereforethankedfortunethatwomenwerepermittedtokeepalooffromit。Butinthepresenceofthisalienshefoundherselfgrowingpatriotic;thatmuch—discussedabstraction,whichwecallourcountry(andwhichisnothingbuttheaggregateofalltheslowandinvisibleinfluenceswhichgotowardmakingupourownbeing),becamebydegreesaverypalpableandintelligiblefacttoher。
FrequentlywhileherAmericanselfwasthusloudlyassertingitself,Edithinflictedmanyacruelwounduponherforeignadorer。Once,——
itwastheFourthofJuly,morethanayearafterHalfdan’sarrival,anumberofyoungladiesandgentlemen,afterhavinglistenedtoapatrioticoration,wereinvitedintoaninformalluncheon。
Whilewaiting,theynaturallyenoughspenttheirtimeinsingingnationalsongs,andHalfdan’scleartenordidgoodserviceinkeepingthestragglingvoicestogether。Whentheyhadfinished,Edithwentuptohimandwasquiteeffusiveinherexpressionsofgratitude。
\"Iamsureweoughtalltobeverygratefultoyou,Mr。Birch,\"shesaid,\"andI,formypart,canassureyouthatIam。\"
\"Grateful?Why?\"demandedHalfdan,lookingquiteunhappy。
\"ForsingingOURnationalsongs,ofcourse。
Now,won’tyousingoneofyourown,please?
WeshouldallbesodelightedtohearhowaSwedish——orNorwegian,isit?——nationalsongsounds。\"
\"Yes,Mr。Birch,DOsingaSwedishsong,\"
echoedseveralvoices。
They,ofcourse,didnotevenremotelysuspecttheirowncruelty。Hehad,inhisenthusiasmforthedayallowedhimselftoforgetthathewasnotmadeofthesameclayastheywere,thathewasanexileandastranger,andmusteverremainso,thathehadnorighttosharetheirjoyintheblessingofliberty。Edithhadtakenpainstodispelthehappyillusion,andhadsenthimoncemorewhirlingtowardhiscoldnativePole。Hispassioncamenearchokinghim,and,toconcealhisimpetuousemotion,heflunghimselfdownonthepiano—stool,andstrucksomeintroductorychordswithperhapsalittlesuperfluousemphasis。SuddenlyhisvoiceburstoutintotheSwedishnationalanthem,\"OurLand,ourLand,ourFatherland,\"andtheairshookandpalpitatedwithstrongmartialmelody。
Hisindignation,hisloveandhismisery,impartedstrengthtohisvoice,anditsoccasionaltrembleinthePIANOpassageswassomethingmorethananartisticintention。Hewasloudlyapplaudedashearose,andtheyoungladiesthrongedabouthimtoaskifhe\"wouldn’tpleasewriteoutthemusicforthem。\"
Thusmonthaftermonthpassedby,andeverydaybroughtitsownmisery。Mrs。VanKirk’spatronizingmanners,andostentatiouskindness,oftentestedhispatiencetotheutmost。Ifhewasguiltyofaninnocentwitticismoralittlequaintnessofexpression,shealwaysassumedittobeamistakeoftermsandcorrectedhimwithanairofbenignsuperiority。Attimes,ofcourse,hercorrectionswerelegitimate,asforinstance,whenhespokeofWEARINGacane,insteadofCARRYINGone,butinninecasesoutoftenthefaultlayinherownlackofimaginationandnotinhisignoranceofEnglish。OnsuchoccasionsEdithoftentookpityonhim,defendedhimagainsthermother’scriticism,andinsistedthatifthisorthatexpressionwasnotincommonvogue,thatwasnoreasonwhyitshouldnotbeused,asitwasperfectlygrammatical,and,moreover,inkeepingwiththespiritofthelanguage。Andhe,listeningpassivelyinadmiringsilencetoherargument,thankedherevenforthemomentarypainbecauseitwasfollowedbysogreatahappiness。
ForitwassosweettobedefendedbyEdith,tofeelthatheandshewerestandingtogethersidebysideagainsttheouterworld。Couldheonlyshowherintheoldheroicmannerhowmuchhelovedher!Wouldonlysomeonethatwasdeartoherdie,sothathe,inthatbreakingdownofsocialbarrierswhichfollowsagreatcalamity,mightcomfortherinhersorrow。
Wouldshethen,perhaps,weeping,leanherwonderfulheaduponhisbreast,feelingbutthathewasafellow—mortal,whohadaheartthatwasloyalandtrue,andforgetting,foronebriefinstant,thathewasaforeigner。Then,totouchthatdelicateElizabethanfrillwhichwounditselfsodaintilyaboutEdith’sneck——
whatinconceivablerapture!Butitwasquiteimpossible。Itcouldneverbe。Thesewereselfishthoughts,nodoubt,buttheywerealover’sselfishness,and,assuch,boreaclosekinshiptoallthatispurestandbestinhumannature。
Itisoneofthetragicfactsofthislife,thatarelationsounequalasthatwhichexistedbetweenHalfdanandEdith,isatallpossible。AsforEdith,Imustadmitthatshewaswellawarethatherteacherwasinlovewithher。Womenhavewonderfullykeensensesforphenomenaofthatkind,anditisanillusionifanyoneimagines,asourNorsemandid,thathehaslockedhissecretsecurelyinthehiddenchamberofhisheart。Infleetingintonations,unconsciousglancesandattitudes,andthroughahundredotherchannelsitwillmakeitswayout,andthebereavedjailermaystillclasphiskeyinfiercetriumph,neverknowingthathehasbeenrobbed。ItwasofcoursenofaultofEdith’sthatshehadbecomepossessedofHalfdan’sheart—secret。Sheregardeditasonthewholeratheranabsurdaffair,andprizeditverylightly。Thatalovesostrongandyetsohumble,sodestituteofhopeandstillsounchanging,reverentandfaithful,hadsomethinggrandandtouchinginit,hadneveroccurredtoher。Itisatruismtosaythatinoursocialcodethevalueofaman’scharacterisdeterminedbyhisposition;
andfinetraitsinaforeigner(unlessheshouldhappentobesomethingverygreat)
strikeusratheraspartofasupposedmentalalienism,andassuch,naturallysuspicious。Itisratherdisgracefulthanotherwisetohaveyourmusicteacherinlovewithyou,andcriticalfriendswillneverquitebanishthesuspicionthatyouhaveencouragedhim。
Edithhad,inherfirstdelightatthediscoveryofHalfdan’stalent,franklyadmittedhimtoarelationofapparentequality。Hewasamanofculture,hadthemannersandbearingofagentleman,andhadnoneofthosetheatricalairswhichsooftenraiseasortofinvisiblewallbetweenforeignersandAmericans。Hermother,wholovedtoplaythepatron,especiallytoyoungmen,hadinvitedhimtodinner—partiesandintroducedhimtotheirfriends,untilalmosteveryonelookeduponhimasaprotegeofthefamily。Heappearedsowellinaparlor,andhadreallysuchadistinguishedpresence,thatitwasapleasuretolookathim。HewasremarkablyfreefromthoseobnoxioustraitswhichgeneralizingAmericantravelershaveledustobelievewereinseparablefromforeignbirth;hisfinger—nailswereinnowayconspicuous;hedidnot,asaFrenchcount,aformeradorerofEdith’s,haddone,indulgeanunmasculinetastefordiamondrings(possiblybecausehehadnone);hispolitenesswasunobtrusiveandsubdued,andofhisaccenttherewasjustenoughlefttogiveanagreeablecolorofindividualitytohisspeech。But,forallthat,Edithcouldneverquiteridherselfoftheimpressionthathewasintenselyun—American。
Therewasacertainidyllicquiescenceabouthim,achild—likedirectnessandsimplicity,andatotalabsenceof\"push,\"whichwerestartlinglyatvariancewiththespiritofAmericanlife。AnAmericancouldneverhavebeencontenttoremaininaninferiorpositionwithouttrying,insomeway,tobetterhisfortunes。
ButHalfdancouldstandstillandsee,withoutthefainteststirringofenvy,hisplebeianfriendOlson,whoseeducationandtalentscouldbearnocomparisonwithhisown,riserapidlyabovehim,andapparentlyhavenodesiretoemulatehim。Hecouldsitonacricketinacorner,withClaraonhislap,andtwoorthreelittlegirlsnestlingabouthim,andtellthemfairystoriesbythehour,whilehiskindlyfacebeamedwithinnocenthappiness。AndifClara,tocoaxhimintocontinuingtheentertainment,offeredtokisshim,hismeasureofjoywasfull。
Thisfairchild,withheraffectionateways,andherconfidingprattle,woundherselfevermorecloselyabouthishomelessheart,andheclungtoherwithatouchingdevotion。Forshewastheonlyonewhoseemedtobeunconsciousofthedifferenceofblood,whohadnotyetlearnedthatshewasanAmericanandhe——aforeigner。
VI。
Threeyearshadpassedbyandstillthesituationwasunchanged。Halfdanstilltaughtmusicandtoldfairystoriestothechildren。Hehadagoodmanymorepupilsnowthanthreeyearsago,althoughhehadmadenoefforttosolicitpatronage,andhadnevertriedtoadvertisehistalentbywhatheregardedasvulgarandinartisticdisplay。ButMrs。VanKirk,whohadbythistimediscoveredhisdisinclinationtoasserthimself,hadbeenonlythemoreactive;had\"talkedhimup\"amongheraristocraticfriends;
hadgivenmusicalsoirees,atwhichshehadcoaxedhimtoplaytheprincipalrole,andhadinvariousotherwaysexertedherselfinhisbehalf。Itwasgettingtobequitefashionabletoadmirehisquiet,unostentatiousstyleofplaying,whichwassofarremovedfromthenoisybravadoandclap—trapthencommonlyinvogue。
Evenprofessionalmusiciansbegantoindorsehim,andsome,whohaddiscoveredthat\"therewasmoneyinhim,\"madehimtemptingoffersforapublicengagement。But,withcharacteristicmodesty,hedistrustedtheirverdict;hissensitivenatureshrankfromanythingwhichhadtheappearanceofself—assertionordisplay。
ButEdith——ah,ifithadnotbeenforEdithhemighthavefoundcouragetoenteratthedooroffortune,whichwasnowopenedajar。
Thatfame,ifheshouldgainit,wouldbringhimanynearertoher,wasathoughtthatwasalientosounworldlyatemperamentashis。
Andanyactionthathadnobearinguponhisrelationtoher,lefthimcold——seemedunworthyoftheeffort。Ifshehadaskedhimtoplayinpublic;ifshehadrequiredofhimtogototheNorthPole,ortocuthisownthroat,Iverilybelievehewouldhavedoneit。AndatlastEdithdidaskhimtoplay。SheandOlsonhadplottedtogether,andfromtheveryfriendliestmotivesagreedtoplayintoeachother’shands。
\"IfyouonlyWOULDconsenttoplay,\"saidshe,inherownpersuasiveway,onedayastheyhadfinishedtheirlesson,\"weshouldallbesohappy。
Onlythinkhowproudweshouldbeofyoursuccess,foryouknowthereisnothingyoucan’tdointhewayofmusicifyoureallywantto。\"
\"Doyoureallythinkso?\"exclaimedhe,whilehiseyessuddenlygrewlargeandluminous。
\"IndeedIdo,\"saidEdith,emphatically。
\"Andif——ifIplayedwell,\"falteredhe,\"woulditreallypleaseyou?\"
\"Ofcourseitwould,\"criedEdith,laughing;
\"howcanyouasksuchafoolishquestion?\"
\"BecauseIhardlydaredtobelieveit。\"
\"Nowlistentome,\"continuedthegirl,leaningforwardinherchair,andbeamingalloverwithkindlyofficiousness;\"nowforonceyoumustberationalanddojustwhatItellyou。I
shallneverlikeyouagainifyouopposemeinthis,forIhavesetmyheartuponit;youmustpromisebeforehandthatyouwillbegoodandnotmakeanyobjection。Doyouhear?\"
WhenEdithassumedthistonetowardhim,shemightwellhavemadehimpromisetoperformmiracles。Shewastoointentuponherbenevolentschemetoheedthepossibleinferenceswhichhemightdrawfromhersuddendisplayofinterest。
\"Thenyoupromise?\"repeatedshe,eagerly,ashehesitatedtoanswer。
\"Yes,Ipromise。\"
\"Now,youmustnotbesurprised;butmammaandIhavemadearrangementswithMr。
S————thatyouaretoappearunderhisauspicesataconcertwhichistobegivenaweekfromto—night。Allourfriendsaregoing,andweshalltakeupallthefrontseats,andIhavealreadytoldmygentlemenfriendstoscatterthroughtheaudience,andiftheycareanythingformyfavor,theywillhavetoapplaudvigorously。\"
Halfdanreddeneduptohistemples,andbegantotwisthiswatch—chainnervously。
\"Youmusthavesmallconfidenceinmyability,\"hemurmured,\"sinceyouresorttoprecautionslikethese。\"
\"ButmydearMr。Birch,\"criedEdith,whowasquicktodiscoverthatshehadmadeamistake,\"itisnotkindinyoutomistrustmeinthatway。IfaNewYorkaudiencewereashighlycultivatedinmusicasyouare,Iadmitthatmyprecautionswouldbesuperfluous。Butthepapers,youknow,willtaketheirtonefromtheaudience,andthereforewemustmakeuseofalittleinnocentartificetomakesureofit。
Everythingdependsuponthesuccessofyourfirstpublicappearance,andifyourfriendscaninthiswayhelpyoutoestablishthereputationwhichisnothingbutyourright,Iamsureyououghtnottobindtheirhandsbyyourfoolishsensitiveness。Youdon’tknowtheAmericanwayofdoingthingsaswellasIdo,thereforeyoumuststandbyyourpromise,andleaveeverythingtome。\"
ItwasimpossiblenottobelievethatanythingEdithchosetodowasabovereproach。Shelookedsobewitchinginherexcitedeagernessforhiswelfarethatitwouldhavebeeninhumantoopposeher。Sohemeeklysuccumbed,andbegantodiscusswithhertheprogrammefortheconcert。
Duringthenextweektherewashardlyadaythathedidnotreadsomestartlingparagraphinthenewspapersabout\"thecelebratedScandinavianpianist,\"whoseappearanceatS————
Hallwaslookedforwardtoastheprincipaleventofthecomingseason。Heinwardlyrebelledagainstthewell—meantexaggerations;
butashesuspectedthatitwasEdith’sinfluencewhichwasinthiswayassertingitselfinhisbehalf,hesethisconscienceatrestandremainedsilent。
Theeveningoftheconcertcameatlast,and,asthepapersstatedthenextmorning,\"thelargehallwascrowdedtoitsutmostcapacitywithaselectandhighlyappreciativeaudience。\"
Edithmusthaveplayedherpartoftheperformanceskillfully,forashewalkedoutuponthestage,hewaswelcomedwithanenthusiasticburstofapplause,asifhehadbeenaworld—
renownedartist。AtEdith’ssuggestion,hertwofavoritenocturneshadbeenplacedfirstupontheprogramme;thenfollowedoneofthoseballadsofChopin,whoserhythmicdinandrushsweeponward,beleagueringtheearlikeeager,melodioushosts,charginginthickeningranksandcolumns,beatingimpetuousretreats,andagainunitingwithonegrandemotionthewide—spreadingarmyofsoundforthefinalvictory。Besidesthese,therewasoneofLiszt’s\"RhapsodiesHongroises,\"animpromptubySchubert,andseveralorchestralpieces;butthegreaterpartoftheprogrammewasdevotedtoChopin,becauseHalfdan,withhisgreat,hopelesspassionlaboringinhisbreast,feltthathecouldinterpretChopinbetterthanhecouldanyothercomposer。Hecarriedhisaudiencebystorm。Asheretiredtothedressing—room,afterhavingfinishedthelastpiece,hisfriends,amongwhomEdithandMrs。VanKirkwerethemostconspicuous,throngedabouthim,showeringtheirpraisesandcongratulationsuponhim。Theyinsistedwithmuchfriendlyurgingupontakinghimhomeintheircarriage;
Clarakissedhim,Mrs。VanKirkintroducedhimtoherladyacquaintancesas\"ourfriend,Mr。Birch,\"andEdithheldhishandsolonginhersthathecamenearlosinghispresenceofmindandtellingherthenandtherethathelovedher。Ashiseyesrestedonher,theybecamesuddenlysuffusedwithtears,andavastbewilderinghappinessvibratedthroughhisframe。Atlasthetorehimselfawayandwanderedaimlesslythroughthelong,lonelystreets。
WhycouldhenottellEdiththathelovedher?
Wasthereanydisgraceinloving?Thisheavenlypassionwhichsosuddenlyhadtransfusedhisbeing,andyearbyyeardeadenedthesubstanceofhisoldself,creatinginitssteadsomethingnewandwildandstrangewhichhenevercouldknow,butstillheldinfinitelydear——haditbeensenttohimmerelyasascourgetotesthiscapacityforsuffering?
Once,whilehewasachild,hismotherhadtoldhimthatsomewhereinthiswideworldtherelivedamaidenwhomGodhadcreatedforhim,andforhimalone,andwhenheshouldseeher,heshouldloveher,andhislifeshouldthenceforthbeallforher。Ithadhardlyoccurredtohim,then,toquestionwhethershewouldlovehiminreturn,ithadappearedsoverynaturalthatsheshould。Nowhehadfoundthismaiden,andshehadbeenverykindtohim;butherkindnesshadbeenlittlebetterthancruelty,becausehehaddemandedsomethingmorethankindness。Andstillhehadnevertoldherofhislove。Hemusttellhereventhisverynightwhilethemoonrodehighintheheavensandallthesmalldifferencesbetweenhumanbeingsseemedlostinthevaststarlitstillness。Heknewwellthatbytherelentlessglareofthedaylighthisowninsignificancewouldbecruellyconspicuousinthepresenceofhersplendor;hisscrupleswouldrevive,andhiscouragefade。
Thenightwasclearandstill。Aclockstruckeleveninsomechurchtowernearby。TheVanKirkmansionrosetallandstatelyinthemoonlight,flingingadensemassofshadowacrossthestreet。Upinthethirdstoryhesawtwowindowslighted;thecurtainsweredrawn,buttheblindswerenotclosed。Alltherestofthehousewasdark。HeraisedhisvoiceandsangaSwedishserenadewhichseemedinperfectconcordwithhisownmood。Hiscleartenorrosethroughthesilenceofthenight,andafeebleechoflungitbackfromthemansionopposite:
[3]\"Star,sweetstar,thatbrightlybeamest,Glitteringontheskiesnocturnal,Hidethineeyenomorefromme,Hidethineeyenomorefromme!\"
[3]FreetranslationofaSwedishserenade,thenameofwhoseauthorI
haveforgotten。H。H。B。
Thecurtainwasdrawnaside,thewindowcautiouslyraised,andtheoutlineofEdith’sbeautifulheadappeareddarkanddistinctagainstthelightwithin。Sheinstantlyrecognizedhim。
\"Youmustgoaway,Mr。Birch,\"camehervoiceinananxiouswhisperoutoftheshadow。
\"Praygoaway。Youwillwakeupthepeople。\"
Herwordswereaudibleenough,buttheyfailedtoconveyanymeaningtohisexcitedmind。Oncemorehisvoicefloatedupwardtoheropenedwindow:
\"AndIyearntoreachthydwelling,Yearntorisefromearth’sfierceturmoil;
Sweeteststarupwardtothee,Yearntorise,brightstartothee。\"
\"DearMr。Birch,\"shewhisperedoncemoreintonesofdistress。\"PrayDOgoaway。Orperhaps,\"sheinterruptedherself\"——waitonemomentandIwillcomedown。\"
Presentlythefrontdoorwasnoiselesslyopened,andEdith’stall,litheform,dressedinawhiteflowingdress,andwithherblondehairrollinglooselyoverhershoulders,appearedforaninstant,andthenagainvanished。WithoneleapHalfdansprangupthestairsandpushedthroughthehalf—openeddoor。Edithclosedthedoorbehindhim,thenwithrapidstepsledthewaytothebackparlorwherethemoonbrokefeeblythroughthebarsoftheclosedshutters。
\"NowMr。Birch,\"shesaid,seatingherselfuponalounge,\"youmayexplaintomewhatthisunaccountablebehaviorofyoursmeans。
IshouldhardlythinkIhaddeservedtobetreatedinthiswaybyyou。\"
Halfdanwasutterlybewildered;anervousfitoftremblingranthroughhim,andheendeavoredinvaintospeak。Hehadbeenpreparedforpassionatereproaches,butthiscalmseveritychilledhimthrough,andhecouldonlygaspandtremble,butcouldutternowordinhisdefense。
\"Isupposeyouareaware,\"continuedEdith,inthesameimperturbablemanner,\"thatifI
hadnotinterruptedyou,thepolicemanwouldhaveh*eardyou,andyouwouldhavebeenarrestedforstreetdisturbance。Thento—morrowweshouldhaveseenitinallthenewspapers,andIshouldhavebeenthelaughing—stockofthewholetown。\"
No,surelyhehadneverthoughtofitinthatlight;theideastruckhimasentirelynew。
Therewasalongpause。Acockcrowedwithadrowsyremotenessinsomeneighboringyard,andthelittleclockonthemantel—piecetickedonpatientlyinthemoonlitdusk。
\"Ifyouhavenothingtosay,\"resumedEdith,whilethesternindifferenceinhervoiceperceptiblyrelaxed,\"thenIwillbidyougood—
night。\"
Shearose,andwithagrandsweepofherdrapery,movedtowardthedoor。
\"MissEdith,\"criedhe,stretchinghishandsdespairinglyafterher,\"youmustnotleaveme。\"
Shepaused,tossedherhairbackwithherhands,andgazedathimoverhershoulder。Hethrewhimselfonhisknees,seizedthehemofherdress,andpressedittohislips。Itwasagestureofsuchinexpressiblehumilitythatevenastonewouldhaverelented。
\"Donotbefoolish,Mr。Birch,\"shesaid,try—
ingtopullherdressawayfromhim。\"Getup,andifyouhaveanythingrationaltosaytome,Iwillstayandlisten。\"
\"Yes,yes,\"hewhispered,hoarsely,\"Ishallberational。Onlydonotleaveme。\"
Sheagainsankdownwearilyuponthelounge,andlookedathiminexpectantsilence。
\"MissEdith,\"pleadedheinthesamehoarse,passionateundertone,\"havepityonme,anddonotdespiseme。Iloveyou——oh——ifyouwouldbutallowmetodieforyou,Ishouldbethehappiestofmen。\"
Againheshuddered,andstoodlonggazingatherwithamute,pitifulappeal。AtearstoleintoEdith’seyeandtrickleddownoverhercheek。
\"Ah,Mr。Birch,\"shemurmured,whileasighshookherbosom,\"Iamsorry——verysorrythatthismisfortunehashappenedtoyou。Youhavedeservedabetterfatethantoloveme——toloveawomanwhocannevergiveyouanythinginreturnforwhatyougiveher。\"
\"Never?\"herepeatedmournfully,\"never?\"
\"No,never!Youhavebeenagoodfriendtome,andassuchIvalueyouhighly,andIhadhopedthatyouwouldalwaysremainso。ButIseethatitcannotbe。Itwillperhapsbebestforyouhenceforthnottoseeme,atleastnotuntil——pardontheexpression——youhaveout—
livedthisgenerousfolly。Andnow,youknow,youwillneedmenomore。Youhavemadeasplendidreputation,andifyouchoosetoavailyourselfofit,yourfortuneisalreadymade。I
shallalwaysrejoicetohearofyoursuccess,and——andifyoushouldeverneedaFRIEND,youmustcometonoonebutme。Iknowthatthesearefeeblewords,Mr。Birch,andiftheyseemcoldtoyou,youmustpardonme。Icansaynothingmore。\"
Theywereindeedfeeblewords,althoughmostcordiallyspoken。Hetriedtoweighthem,tomeasuretheirmeaning,buthismindwasasifbenumbed,andutterlyincapableofthought。
Hewalkedacrossthefloor,perhapsonlytodosomething,notfeelingwherehetrod,butstillwithanabsurdsensationthathewastakingimmoderatelylongsteps。Thenhestoppedabruptly,wrunghishands,andgazedatEdith。
Andsuddenly,likeaflashinavacuum,thethoughtshotthroughhisbrainthathehadseenthisveryscenesomewhere——inadream,inaremotechildhood,inapreviousexistence,hedidnotknowwhenorwhere。Itseemedstrangelyfamiliar,andinthenextinstantstrangelymean—
inglessandunreal。Thewalls,thefloor——
everythingbegantomove,towhirlabouthim;hestruckhishandsagainsthisforehead,andsankdownintoadamask—coveredeasy—chair。Withafaintcryofalarm,Edithsprangup,seizedabottleofcolognewhichhappenedtobewithinreach,andkneltdownathisside。Sheputherarmaroundhisneck,andraisedhishead。
\"Mr。Birch,dearMr。Birch,\"shecried,inafrightenedwhisper,\"forGod’ssakecometoyourself!OGod,whathaveIdone?\"
Sheblewtheeau—de—cologneintohisface,and,ashelanguidlyopenedhiseyes,hefeltthetouchofherwarmhanduponhischeeksandhisforehead。
\"Thankheaven!heisbetter,\"shemurmured,stillcontinuingtobathehistemples。\"Howdoyoufeelnow,Mr。Birch?\"sheadded,inatoneofanxiousinquiry。
\"Thankyou,itwasanunpardonableweakness,\"
hemuttered,withoutchanginghisattitude。
\"Donottroubleyourselfaboutme。I
shallsoonbewell。\"
Itwassosweettobeconsciousofhergentleministry,thatitrequiredagreateffort,aneffortofconscience,torousehimoncemore,ashisstrengthreturned。
\"Hadyounotbetterstay?\"sheasked,asherosetoputonhisovercoat。\"Iwillcalloneoftheservantsandhavehimshowyouaroom。
Wewillsayto—morrowmorningthatyouweretakenill,andnobodywillwonder。\"
\"No,no,\"heresponded,energetically。\"I
amperfectlystrongnow。\"Buthestillhadtoleanonachair,andhisfacewasdeathlypale。
\"Farewell,MissEdith,\"hesaid;andatendersadnesstrembledinhisvoice。\"Farewell。Weshall——probably——nevermeetagain。\"
\"Donotspeakso,\"sheanswered,seizinghishand。\"Youwilltrytoforgetthis,andyouwillstillbegreatandhappy。Andwhenfortuneshallagainsmileuponyou,and——and——
youwillbecontenttobemyfriend,thenweshallseeeachotherasbefore。\"
\"No,no,\"hebrokeforth,withasuddenhoarseness。\"Itwillneverbe。\"
Hewalkedtowardthedoorwiththemotionsofonewhofeelsdeathinhislimbs;thenstoppedoncemoreandhiseyeslingeredwithinexpressiblesadnessonthewonderful,belovedformwhichstooddimlyoutlinedbeforehiminthetwilight。ThenEdith’smeasureofmisery,too,seemedfull。Withthedivineheedlessnesswhichbelongstohersex,sherusheduptowardhim,andrememberingonlythathewasweakandunhappy,andthathesufferedforhersake,shetookhisfacebetweenherhandsandkissedhim。Hewastoogenerousamantomisinterprettheact;sohewhisperedbutoncemore:
\"Farewell,\"andhastenedaway。
VII。
AfterthateventfulDecembernight,AmericawasnomorewhatithadbeentoHalfdanBjerk。Astrangetorpidityhadcomeoverhim;
everyrisingdaygazedintohiseyeswithafierceunmeaningglare。Thenoiseofthestreetannoyedhimandmadehimchildishlyfretful,andthesolitudeofhisownroomseemedstillmoredrearyanddepressing。Hewentmechanicallythroughthedailyroutineofhisdutiesasifthesoulhadbeentakenoutofhiswork,andlefthislifeallbarrennessanddesolation。Hemovedrestlesslyfromplacetoplace,roamedatalltimesofthedayandnightthroughthecityanditssuburbs,tryingvainlytoexhausthisphysicalstrength;gradually,ashislethargydeepenedintoanumb,helplessdespair,itseemedsomehowtoimpartacertaintoughnesstohisotherwisedelicateframe。Olson,whowasnowajuniorpartnerinthefirmofRemsen,VanKirkandCo。,stoodbyhimfaithfullyinthesedaysofsorrow。Hewasnevereffusiveinhissympathy,butwaspatientlyforbearingwithhisfriend’swhimsandmoods,andhumoredhimasifhehadbeenasickchildintrustedtohiscustody。ThatEdithmightbethemovingcauseofOlson’skindnesswasathoughtwhich,strangelyenough,hadneveroccurredtoHalfdan。
Atlast,whenspringcame,thevacancyofhismindwassuddenlyinvadedwithastrongdesiretorevisithisnativeland。HedisclosedhisplantoOlson,who,afterduedeliberationandseveralvisitstotheVanKirkmansion,decidedthatthepleasureofseeinghisoldfriendsandthescenesofhischildhoodmightpushthepainfulmemoriesoutofsight,andrenewhisinterestinlife。So,onemorning,whiletheMaysunshonewithasoftradianceuponthebeautifulharbor,ourNorsemanfoundhimselfstandingonthedeckofahugeblack—hulledCunarder,shiveringinspiteofthewarmth,andfeelingachilllonelinesscreepingoverhimatthesightofthekissingandaffectionateleave—
takingswhichweregoingonallaroundhim。
Olsonwasrunningbackandforth,attendingtohisbaggage;buthehimselftooknothought,andfeltnomoreresponsibilitythanifhehadbeenahelplesschild。Hehalfregrettedthathisownwishhadprevailed,andwasinclinedtoholdhisfriendresponsibleforit;andstillhehadnotenergyenoughtoprotestnowwhenthejourneyseemedinevitable。Hisheartstillclungtotheplacewhichheldthecorpseofhisruinedlife,asamanmayclingtothespotwhichhideshisbeloveddead。
AbouttwoweekslaterHalfdanlandedinNorway。Hewashalfreluctanttoleavethesteamer,andthelandofhisbirthexcitednoemotioninhisbreast。HewasbutconsciousofadimregretthathewassofarawayfromEdith。Atlast,however,hebetookhimselftoahotel,wherehespenttheafternoonsittingwithhalf—closedeyesatawindow,watchinglistlesslythedrowsyslow—pulsedlifewhichdribbledlanguidlythroughthenarrowthoroughfare。ThenoisyuproarofBroadwaychimedremotelyinhisears,likethedistantroarofatempest—tossedsea,andwhathadoncebeenaperpetualannoyancewasnowasweetmemory。HowoftenwithEdithathissidehadhethreadedhiswaythroughthesurgingcrowdsthatpour,onafineafternoon,inanunceasingcurrentupanddownthestreetbetweenUnionandMadisonSquares。Howfriendly,andsweet,andgracious,Edithhadbeenatsuchtimes;
howfreshhervoice,howwittyandanimatedherchanceremarkswhentheystoppedtogreetapassingacquaintance;and,aboveall,howinspiringthesightofherheavenlybeauty。
Nowthatwasallpast。PerhapsheshouldneverseeEdithagain。
Thenextdayhesaunteredthroughthecity,meetingsomeoldfriends,whoallseemedchangedandsingularlyuninteresting。Theywereallengagedormarried,andcouldtalkofnothingbutmatrimony,andtheirprospectsofadvancementintheGovernmentservice。Onehadaninfluentialunclewhohadbeenachumofthepresentministeroffinance;anotherbasedhishopesoffutureprosperityuponthefamilyconnectionsofhisbetrothed,andathirdwaswaitingwithapatientperseverance,worthyofabettercause,forthedeathorresignationofanantiquatedchef—de—bureau,which,accordingtothepromiseofsomemightyman,wouldopenapositionforhimintheDepartmentofJustice。
AllhadthemostabsurdtheoriesaboutAmericandemocracy,andindulgedfreelyinpropheciesofcomingdisasters;butabouttheirowngovernmenttheyhadnoopinionwhatever。IfHalfdanattemptedtosetthemright,theyatoncegrewexcitedanddeclamatory;theiropinionswerebaseduponconvictionandacharmingignoranceoffacts,andtheywerenottobemoved。TheyknewallaboutTweedandtheTammanyRing,andbelievedthemtoberepresentativecitizensofNewYork,ifnotoftheUnitedStates;butofCharlesSumnerandCarlSchurztheyhadneverheard。Halfdan,who,inspiteofhismisfortunesinthelandofhisadoption,cherishedaverytenderfeelingforit,wasoftensothoroughlyarousedatthefoolishprejudiceswhicheverywheremethim,thathistorpiditygraduallythawedaway,andhebegantolookmorelikehisformerself。
TowardautumnhereceivedaninvitationtovisitacountryclergymanintheNorth,adistantrelativeofhisfather’s,andtherewhiledawayhistime,fishingandshooting,untilwintercame。ButasChristmasdrewnear,andthedaywrestledfeeblywiththeall—conqueringnight,theoldsorrowrevived。Inthedarknesswhichnowbroodedoverlandandsea,thethoughtsneedednolongerbeonguardagainstthemselves;
theycouldroamfarandwideastheylisted。WherewasEdithnow,thesweet,thewonderfulEdith?Wasthereyetthesamedancinglightinherbeautifuleyes,thesamegoldensheeninherhair,thesamemerryringinhervoice?Andhadshenotsaidthatwhenhewascontenttobeonlyherfriend,hemightreturntoher,andshewouldreceivehimintheoldjoyousandconfidingway?Surelytherewasnolifetohimapartfromher:whyshouldhenotbeherfriend?Onlyaglimpseofherlovelyface——ah,itwasworthalifetime;itwouldconsecrateanageofmisery,aglimpseofEdith’sface。Thusranhisfanciesdaybyday,andthenightonlylentadeeperintensitytotheyearningsoftheday。Hewalkedaboutasinadream,seeingnothing,heedingnothing,whilethisonestrongdesire——toseeEdithoncemore——throbbedandthrobbedwithaslow,feverishperseverancewithinhim。Edith——Edith,theverynamehadastrange,potentfascination。
Everythoughtwhispered\"Edith,\"——hispulsebeat\"Edith,\"——andhisheartrepeatedthebelovedname。Itwashispulse—beat,——hisheartbeat,——hislife—beat。
Andonemorningashestoodabsentlylookingathisfingersagainstthelight——andtheyseemedstrangelywanandtransparent——thethoughtatlasttookshape。Itrusheduponhimwithsuchvehemence,thathecouldnomoreresistit。Sohebadetheclergymangood—bye,gatheredhisfewworldlygoodstogetherandsetoutforBergen。TherehefoundanEnglishsteamerwhichcarriedhimtoHull,andafewweekslater,hewasoncemoreinNewYork。
ItwaslateoneeveninginJanuarythatatug—boatarrivedandtookthecabinpassengersashore。Themoonsailedtranquillyoverthedeepbluedomeofthesky,thestarstracedtheirglitteringpathsoflightfromthezenithdownward,anditwassharp,bittercold。Northwardovertheriverlayagreatbankofcloud,dense,grayandmassive,thespectreofthecomingsnow—storm。Thereitlaysohugeandfantasticallyhuman,rufflingitselfup,asfowlsdo,indefenseagainstthecold。Halfdanwalkedonatabriskrate——strangetosay,allthestreet—
carshemetwentthewrongway——startlingeverynowandthensomepreciousmemory,somewordorlookorgestureofEdith’swhichhadhoveredlongoverthosescenes,waitingforhisrecognition。Therewasthegreatjewel—storewhereEdithhadtakenhimsooftentoconsulthistastewheneverafriendofherswastobemarried。ItwastherethattheyhadhadanamicablequarreloverthatbronzestatueofFaustwhichshehadfoundbeautiful,whilehe,witharudenesswhichseemednowquiteincomprehensible,hadinsistedthatitwasnot。
Andwhenhehadfailedtoconvinceher,shehadgivenhimherhandintokenofreconciliation——
andEdithhadawonderfulwayofgivingherhand,whichmadeanyonefeelthatitwasapeculiarprivilegetopressit——andtheyhadwalkedoutarminarmintotheanimated,gas—