Heknewtherewasnofly。Butthegroundwassuddenlycutfromhisfeet。Thereisalimittoknighterrantry——dragonsandfalseknightsareallverywell，butflies！Fictitiousflies！Whateverthetroublewas，itwasevidentlynothisaffair。Hefelthehadmadeafoolofhimselfagain。Hewouldhavemumbledsomesortofapology;buttheothermaninbrowngavehimnotime，turnedonhimabruptly，evenfiercely。\"Ihope，\"hesaid，\"thatyourcuriosityissatisfied？\"
\"Certainly，\"saidMr。Hoopdriver。
\"Thenwewon’tdetainyou。\"
And，ignominiously，Mr。Hoopdriverturnedhismachineabout，struggleduponit，andresumedtheroadsouthward。AndwhenhelearntthathewasnotonthePortsmouthroad，itwasimpossibletoturnandgoback，forthatwouldbetofacehisshameagain，andsohehadtorideonbyBrookStreetupthehilltoHaslemere。AndawaytotherightthePortsmouthroadmockedathimandmadeofftoitsfastnessesamidthesunlitgreenandpurplemassesofHindhead，whereMr。GrantAllenwriteshisHillTopNovelsdaybyday。
Thesunshone，andthewidebluehillviewsandpleasantvalleysonesawoneitherhandfromthesandscarredroadway，eventhesidesoftheroaditselfsetaboutwithgreyheatherscrubandpricklymassesofgorse，andpinetreeswiththeiryear’sgrowthstillbrightgreen，againstthedarkenedneedlesofthepreviousyears，werefreshanddelightfultoMr。Hoopdriver’seyesButthebrightnessofthedayandtheday—oldsenseoffreedomfoughtanuphillfightagainsthisintolerablevexationatthatabominableencounter，andhadstilltowinitwhenhereachedHaslemere。A
greatbrownshadow，amonstroushatredoftheothermaninbrown，possessedhim。HehadconceivedthebrilliantideaofabandoningPortsmouth，oratleastgivingupthestraightwaytohisfellow—wayfarers，andofstrikingoutboldlytotheleft，eastward。Hedidnotdaretostopatanyoftheinvitingpublic—housesinthemainstreetofHaslemere，butturnedupasidewayandfoundalittlebeer—shop，theGoodHope，whereintorefreshhimself。Andthereheateandgossippedcondescendinglywithanagedlabourer，assumingthewhileforhisownprivateenjoymenttheattributesofaLostHeir，andafterwardsmountedandrodeontowardsNorthchapel，aplacewhichanumberoffinger—postsconspiredtoboom，butwhichsomeinsidiousturningpreventedhimfromattaining。
HOWMR。HOOPDRIVERREACHEDMIDHURST
XIV
Itwasoneofmyuncle’sprofoundestremarksthathumanbeingsaretheonlyunreasonablecreatures。ThisobservationwassofarjustifiedbyMr。Hoopdriverthat，afterspendingthemorningtortuouslyavoidingtheothermaninbrownandtheYoungLadyinGrey，hespentaconsiderablepartoftheafternooninthinkingabouttheYoungLadyinGrey，andcontemplatinginanoptimisticspiritthepossibilitiesofseeingheragain。Memoryandimaginationplayedroundher，sothathiscoursewaslargelydeterminedbythewindingsoftheroadhetraversed。Ofonegeneralpropositionhewasabsolutelyconvinced。\"There’ssomethingJuicywrongwith’em，\"saidhe——onceevenaloud。Butwhatitwashecouldnotimagine。Herecapitulatedthefacts。
\"MissBeaumont——brotherandsister——andthestoppagetoquarrelandweep——itwasperplexingmaterialforayoungmanofsmallexperience。Therewasnoexertionhehatedsomuchasinference，andafteratimehegaveupanyattempttogetattherealitiesofthecase，andlethisimaginationgofree。Shouldheeverseeheragain？Supposehedid——withthatotherchapnotabout。Thevisionhefoundpleasantestwasanencounterwithher，anunexpectedencounterattheannualDancingClass’Do’atthePutneyAssemblyRooms。Somehowtheywoulddrifttogether，andhewoulddancewithheragainandagain。Itwasapleasantvision，foryoumustunderstandthatMr。Hoopdriverdanceduncommonlywell。Oragain，intheshop，asuddenradianceinthedoorway，andsheisbowedtowardstheManchestercounter。Andthentoleanoverthatcounterandmurmur，seeminglyaproposofthegoodsunderdiscussion，\"IhavenotforgottenthatmorningonthePortsmouthroad，\"andlower，\"Inevershallforget。\"
AtNorthchapelMr。Hoopdriverconsultedhismapandtookcounselandweighedhiscourseofaction。Petworthseemedapossibleresting—place，orPullborough;Midhurstseemedtoonear，andanyplaceovertheDownsbeyond，toofar，andsohemeanderedtowardsPetworth，posinghimselfperpetuallyandloitering，gatheringwildflowersandwonderingwhytheyhadnonames——forhehadneverheardofany——droppingthemfurtivelyatthesightofastranger，andgenerally’muckingabout。’Therewerepurplevetchesinthehedges，meadowsweet，honeysuckle，belatedbrambles——butthedog—roseshadalreadygone;thereweregreenandredblackberries，stellarias，anddandelions，andinanotherplacewhitedeadnettles，traveller’s—joy，clingingbedstraw，grassesflowering，whitecampions，andraggedrobins。Onecornfieldwasgloriouswithpoppies，brightscarletandpurplewhite，andthebluecorn—flowerswerebeginning。Inthelanesthetreesmetoverhead，andthewispsofhaystillhungtothestragglinghedges。Irioneofthemainroadshesteeredaperilouspassagethroughadozensurlydunoxen。Hereandtherewerelittlecottages，andpicturesquebeer—houseswiththevividbrewers’boardsofblueandscarlet，andonceabroadgreenandachurch，andanexpanseofsomehundredhousesorso。Thenhecametoapebblyrivuletthatemergedbetweenclumpsofsedgeloosestrifeandforget—me—notsunderanarchoftrees，andrippledacrosstheroad，andtherehedismounted，longingtotakeoffshoesandstockings——thosestylishchequeredstockingswerenowalldimmedwithdust——andpaddlehisleanlegsinthechucklingcheerfulwater。Butinsteadhesatinamanlyattitude，smokingacigarette，forfearlesttheYoungLadyinGreyshouldcomeglitteringroundthecorner。FortheflavouroftheYoungLadyinGreywaspresentthroughitall，mixingwiththeflowersandallthedelightofit，atouchthatmadethisseconddayquitedifferentfromthefirst，anundertoneofexpectation，anxiety，andsomethinglikeregretthatwouldnotbeignored。
Itwasonlylateinthelongeveningthat，quiteabruptly，hebegantorepent，vividlyanddecidedly，havingfledthesetwopeople。Hewasgettinghungry，andthathasacuriouseffectupontheemotionalcolouringofourminds。Themanwasasinisterbrute，Hoopdriversawinaflashofinspiration，andthegirl——shewasinsomeserioustrouble。Andhewhomighthavehelpedherhadtakenhisfirstimpulseasdecisive——andbolted。
Thisnewviewofitdepressedhimdreadfully。Whatmightnotbehappeningtohernow？Hethoughtagainofhertears。Surelyitwasmerelyhisduty，seeingthetroubleafoot，tokeephiseyeuponit。
Hebeganridingfasttogetquitofsuchselfreproaches。Hefoundhimselfinatortuoustangleofroads，andastheduskwascomingon，emerged，notatPetworthbutatEasebourne，amilefromMidhurst。\"I’mgettinghungry，\"saidMr。Hoopdriver，inquiringofagamekeeperinEasebournevillage。\"Midhurstamile，andPetworthfive！——Thenks，I’lltakeMidhurst。\"
HecameintoMidhurstbythebridgeatthewatermill，anduptheNorthStreet，andalittleshopflourishingcheerfully，thecheerfulsignofateapot，andexhibitingabrilliantarrayoftobaccos，sweets，andchildren’stoysinthewindow，struckhisfancy。Aneat，bright—eyedlittleoldladymadehimwelcome，andhewaspresentlysuppingsumptuouslyonsausagesandtea，withavisitors’bookfullofthemosthumorousandflatteringremarksaboutthelittleoldlady，inverseandprose，proppedupagainsthisteapotasheate。Regulargoodsomeofthejokeswere，andrhymesthatreadwell——evenwithyourmouthfullofsausage。Mr。
Hoopdriverformedavagueideaofdrawing\"something\"——forhisjudgmentonthelittleoldladywasalreadyformed。Hepicturedthelittleoldladydiscoveringitafterwards——\"Mygracious！OneofthemPunchmen，\"shewouldsay。Theroomhadacurtainedrecessandachestofdrawers，forpresentlyitwastobehisbedroom，andthedaypartofitwasdecoratedwithframedOddfellows’certificatesandgiltbackedbooksandportraits，andkettle—holders，andallkindsofbeautifulthingsmadeoutofwool;verycomfortableitwasindeed。Thewindowwasleadframedanddiamondpaned，andthroughitonesawthecornerofthevicarageandapleasanthillcrest，induskysilhouetteagainstthetwilightsky。Andafterthesausageshadceasedtobe，helitaRedHerringcigaretteandwentswaggeringoutintothetwilightstreet。Allshadowybluebetweenitsdarkbrickhouses，wasthestreet，withabrightyellowwindowhereandthereandsplashesofgreenandredwherethechemist’silluminationfellacrosstheroad。
ANINTERLUDE
XV
AndnowletusforaspaceleaveMr。HoopdriverintheduskyMidhurstNorthStreet，andreturntothetwofolksbesidetherailwaybridgebetweenMilfordandHaslemere。Shewasagirlofeighteen，dark，finefeatured，withbrighteyes，andarich，swiftcolourunderherwarm—tintedskin。Hereyeswereallthebrighterforthetearsthatswaminthem。Themanwasthirtythreeorfour，fair，withalongishnoseoverhanginghissandyflaxenmoustache，paleblueeyes，andaheadthatstruckoutaboveandbehind。Hestoodwithhisfeetwideapart，hishandonhiship，inanattitudethatwasequallysuggestiveofdefianceandaggression。TheyhadwatchedHoopdriveroutofsight。Theunexpectedinterruptionhadstoppedthefloodofhertears。Hetuggedhisabundantmoustacheandregardedhercalmly。Shestoodwithfaceaverted，obstinatelyresolvednottospeakfirst。\"Yourbehaviour，\"hesaidatlast，\"makesyouconspicuous。\"
Sheturneduponhim，hereyesandcheeksglowing，herhandsclenched。\"YouunspeakableCAD，\"shesaid，andchoked，stampedherlittlefoot，andstoodpanting。
\"Unspeakablecad！Mydeargirl！PossibleIAManunspeakablecad。
Whowouldn’tbe——foryou？\"
\"’Deargirl！’HowDAREyouspeaktomelikethat？YOU——\"
\"Iwoulddoanything——\"
\"OH！\"
Therewasamoment’spause。Shelookedsquarelyintohisface，hereyesalightwithangerandcontempt，andperhapsheflushedalittle。Hestrokedhismoustache，andbyaneffortmaintainedhiscynicalcalm。\"Letusbereasonable，\"hesaid。
\"Reasonable！Thatmeansallthatismeanandcowardlyandsensualintheworld。\"
\"Youhavealwayshaditso——inyourgeneralisingway。Butletuslookatthefactsofthecase——ifthatpleasesyoubetter。\"
Withanimpatientgestureshemotionedhimtogoon。
\"Well，\"hesaid，——\"you’veeloped。\"
\"I’veleftmyhome，\"shecorrected，withdignity。\"Ileftmyhomebecauseitwasunendurable。Becausethatwoman——\"
\"Yes，yes。Butthepointis，youhaveelopedwithme。\"
\"Youcamewithme。Youpretendedtobemyfriend。Promisedtohelpmetoearnalivingbywriting。Itwasyouwhosaid，whyshouldn’tamanandwomanbefriends？Andnowyoudare——youdare——\"
\"Really，Jessie，thisposeofyours，thisinjuredinnocence——\"
\"Iwillgoback。Iforbidyou——Iforbidyoutostandintheway——\"
\"Onemoment。Ihavealwaysthoughtthatmylittlepupilwasatleastclear—headed。Youdon’tknoweverythingyet，youknow。
Listentomeforamoment。\"
\"Haven’tIbeenlistening？Andyouhaveonlyinsultedme。Youwhodaredonlytotalkoffriendship，whoscarcelydaredhintatanythingbeyond。\"
\"Butyoutookthehints，nevertheless。Youknew。YouKNEW。Andyoudidnotmind。MIND！Youlikedit。Itwasthefunofthewholethingforyou。ThatIlovedyou，andcouldnotspeaktoyou。Youplayedwithit——\"
\"Youhavesaidallthatbefore。Doyouthinkthatjustifiesyou？\"
\"Thatisn’tall。Imadeupmymind——Well，tomakethegamemoreeven。AndsoIsuggestedtoyouandjoinedwithyouinthisexpeditionofyours，inventedasisteratMidhurst——Itellyou，I
HAVEN’Tasister！Foroneobject——\"
\"Well？\"
\"Tocompromiseyou。\"
Shestarted。Thatwasanewwayofputtingit。Forhalfaminuteneitherspoke。Thenshebeganhalfdefiantly：\"MuchIamcompromised。Ofcourse——Ihavemadeafoolofmyself——\"
\"Mydeargirl，youarestillonthesunnysideofeighteen，andyouknowverylittleofthisworld。Lessthanyouthink。Butyouwilllearn。Beforeyouwriteallthosenovelswehavetalkedabout，youwillhavetolearn。Andthat’sonepoint——\"Hehesitated。\"YoustartedandblushedwhenthemanatbreakfastcalledyouMa’am。Youthoughtitafunnymistake，butyoudidnotsayanythingbecausehewasyoungandnervous——andbesides，thethoughtofbeingmywifeoffendedyourmodesty。Youdidn’tcaretonoticeit。But——yousee;IgaveyournameasMRS。Beaumont。\"
Helookedalmostapologetic，inspiteofhiscynicalpose。\"MRS。
Beaumont，\"herepeated，pullinghisflaxenmoustacheandwatchingtheeffect。
Shelookedintohiseyesspeechless。\"Iamlearningfast，\"shesaidslowly，atlast。
Hethoughtthetimehadcomeforanemotionalattack。\"Jessie，\"
hesaid，withasuddenchangeofvoice，\"Iknowallthisismean，isvillanous。ButdoyouthinkthatIhavedoneallthisscheming，allthissubterfuge，foranyotherobject——\"
Shedidnotseemtolistentohiswords。\"Ishallridehome，\"shesaidabruptly。
\"Toher？\"
Shewinced。
\"Justthink，\"saidhe，\"whatshecouldsaytoyouafterthis。\"
\"Anyhow，Ishallleaveyounow。\"
\"Yes？Andgo——\"
\"Gosomewheretoearnmyliving，tobeafreewoman，tolivewithoutconventionality——\"
\"Mydeargirl，doletusbecynical。Youhaven’tmoneyandyouhaven’tcredit。Noonewouldtakeyouin。It’soneoftwothings：
gobacktoyourstepmother，or——trusttome。\"
\"HowCANI？\"
\"Thenyoumustgobacktoher。\"Hepausedmomentarily，toletthisconsiderationhaveitsproperweight。\"Jessie，IdidnotmeantosaythethingsIdid。Uponmyhonour，IlostmyheadwhenIspokeso。Ifyouwill，forgiveme。Iamaman。Icouldnothelpmyself。Forgiveme，andIpromiseyou——\"
\"HowcanItrustyou？\"
\"Tryme。Icanassureyou——\"
Sheregardedhimdistrustfully。
\"Atanyrate，rideonwithmenow。Surelywehavebeenintheshadowofthishorriblebridgelongenough。\"
\"Oh！letmethink，\"shesaid，halfturningfromhimandpressingherhandtoherbrow。
\"THINK！Lookhere，Jessie。Itisteno’clock。Shallwecallatruceuntilone？\"
Shehesitated，demandedadefinitionofthetruce，andatlastagreed。
Theymounted，androdeoninsilence，throughthesunlightandtheheather。Bothwereextremelyuncomfortableanddisappointed。
Shewaspale，dividedbetweenfearandanger。Sheperceivedshewasinascrape，andtriedinvaintothinkofawayofescape。
Onlyonetangiblethingwouldkeepinhermind，tryasshewouldtoignoreit。Thatwasthequiteirrelevantfactthathisheadwassingularlylikeanalbinococoanut。He，too，feltthwarted。
Hefeltthatthisromanticbusinessofseductionwas，afterall，unexpectedlytame。Butthiswasonlythebeginning。Atanyrate，everydayshespentwithhimwasadaygained。Perhapsthingslookedworsethantheywere;thatwassomeconsolation。
OFTHEARTIFICIALINMAN，ANDOFTHEZEITGEIST
XVI
Youhaveseenthesetwoyoungpeople——Bechamel，by—the—bye，istheman’sname，andthegirl’sisJessieMilton——fromtheoutside;youhaveheardthemtalking;theyridenowsidebyside（butnottooclosetogether，andinanuneasysilence）towardsHaslemere;andthischapterwillconcernitselfwiththosecuriouslittlecouncilchambersinsidetheirskulls，wheretheirmotivesareinsessionandtheiractsareconsideredandpassed。
Butfirstawordconcerningwigsandfalseteeth。Somejester，enlargingupontheincreaseofbaldheadsandpurblindpeople，hasdeducedawonderfulfutureforthechildrenofmen。Man，hesaid，wasnowadaysahairlesscreaturebyfortyorfifty，andforhairwegavehimawig;shrivelled，andwepaddedhim;toothless，andlo！falseteethsetingold。Didhelosealimb，andafine，new，artificialonewasathisdisposal;getindigestion，andtohandwasartificialdigestivefluidorbileorpancreatine，asthecasemightbe。Complexions，too，werereplaceable，spectaclessupersededaninefficienteye—lens，andimperceptiblefalsediaphragmswerethrustintothefailingear。Sohewentoverouranatomies，until，atlast，hehadconjuredupaweirdthingofshredsandpatches，asimulacrum，anartificialbodyofaman，withbutadoubtfulgermoflivingfleshlurkingsomewhereinhisrecesses。Tothat，heheld，wewerecoming。
Howfarsuchoddsubstitutionforthebodyispossibleneednotconcernusnow。Butthedevil，speakingbythelipsofMr。
RudyardKipling，hathitthatinthecaseofoneTomlinson，thething，sofarasthesoulisconcerned，hasalreadybeenaccomplished。Timewaswhenmenhadsimplesouls，desiresasnaturalastheireyes，alittlereasonablephilanthropy，alittlereasonablephiloprogenitiveness，hunger，andatasteforgoodliving，adecent，personalvanity，ahealthy，satisfyingpugnacity，andsoforth。Butnowwearetaughtanddisciplinedforyearsandyears，andthereafterwereadandreadforallthetimesomestrenuous，nerve—destroyingbusinesspermits。Pedagogichypnotists，pulpitandplatformhypnotists，book—writinghypnotists，newspaper—writinghypnotists，areatusall。Thissugaryouareeating，theytellus，isink，andforthwithwerejectitwithinfinitedisgust。ThisblackdraughtofunrequitedtoilisTrueHappiness，anddownitgoeswitheverysymptomofpleasure。ThisIbsen，theysay，isdullpastbelieving，andweyawnandstretchbeyondendurance。Pardon！theyinterrupt，butthisIbsenisdeepanddelightful，andweviewithoneanotherinanexcessofentertainment。Andwhenweopentheheadsofthesetwoyoungpeople，wefind，notastraightforwardmotiveonthesurfaceanywhere;wefind，indeed，notasoulsomuchasanoversoul，azeitgeist，acongestionofacquiredideas，ahighway’sfeastoffine，confusedthinking。ThegirlisresolutetoLiveHerOwnLife，aphraseyoumayhaveheardbefore，andthemanhasaprettypervertedambitiontobeacynicalartisticpersonoftheverycalmestdescription。HeishopingfortheawakeningofPassioninher，amongotherthings。HeknowsPassionoughttoawaken，fromthetext—bookshehasstudied。Heknowssheadmireshisgenius，butheisunawarethatshedoesnotadmirehishead。HeisquiteadistinguishedartcriticinLondon，andhemetheratthatcelebratedladynovelist’s，herstepmother，andhereyouhavethemwellembarkedupontheAdventure。Bothareinthefirststageofrepentance，whichconsists，asyouhaveprobablyfoundforyourself，insettingyourteethhardandsaying’\"IWILLgoon。\"
Things，yousee，havejarredalittle，andtheyrideontheirwaytogetherwithacertainaloofnessofmannerthatpromisesillfortheorthodoxdevelopmentoftheAdventure。Heperceiveshewastooprecipitate。Buthefeelshishonourisinvolved，andmeditatesthedevelopmentofanewattack。Andthegirl？Sheisunawakened。Hermotivesarebookish，writtenbyahaphazardsyndicateofauthors，novelists，andbiographers，onherwhiteinexperience。Anartificialoversoulsheis，thatmaypresentlybreakdownandrevealahumanbeingbeneathit。Sheisstillinthatschoolgirlphasewhenatalkativeoldmanismoreinterestingthanatongue—tiedyoungone，andwhentobeaneminentmathematician，say，ortoeditadailypaper，seemsasfineanambitionasanygirlneedaspireto。Bechanielwastohavehelpedhertoattainthatinthemostexpeditiousmanner，andhereheisbesideher，talkingenigmaticalphrasesaboutpassion，lookingatherwiththeoddestexpression，andonce，andthatwashisgravestoffence，offeringtokissher。Atanyratehehasapologised。Shestillscarcelyrealises，yousee，thescrapeshehasgotinto。
THEENCOUNTERATMIDHURST
XVII
WeleftMr。Hoopdriveratthedoorofthelittletea，toy，andtobaccoshop。YoumustnotthinkthatastrainisputoncoincidencewhenItellyouthatnextdoortoMrs。Wardor’s——thatwasthenameofthebright—eyed，littleoldladywithwhomMr。
Hoopdriverhadstopped——istheAngelHotel，andintheAngelHotel，onthenightthatMr。HoopdriverreachedMidhurst，were’Mr。’and’Miss’Beaumont，ourBechamelandJessieMilton。
Indeed，itwasahighlyprobablething;forifonegoesthroughGuildford，thechoiceofsouthwardroadsislimited;youmaygobyPetersfieldtoPortsmouth，orbyMidhursttoChichester，inadditiontowhichhighwaysthereisnothingforitbutminorroadwaystoPetworthorPulborough，andcross—cutsBrightonward。
AndcomingtoMidhurstfromthenorth，theAngel’sentranceliesyawningtoengulfyourhighlyrespectablecyclists，whileMrs。
Wardor’sgenialteapotisequallyattractivetothosewhoweightheirmeansinlittlescales。ButtopeopleunfamiliarwiththeSussexroads——andsuchwerethethreepersonsofthisstory——theconvergencedidnotappeartobesoinevitable。
Bechamel，tighteninghischainintheAngelyardafterdinner，wasthefirsttobeawareoftheirreunion。HesawHoopdriverwalkslowlyacrossthegateway，hisheadenhaloedincigarettesmoke，andpassoutofsightupthestreet。Incontinentlyamassofcloudyuneasiness，thathadbeenpartlydispelledduringtheday，reappearedandconcentratedrapidlyintodefinitesuspicion。
Heputhisscrewhammerintohispocketandwalkedthroughthearchwayintothestreet，tosettlethebusinessforthwith，forhepridedhimselfonhisdecision。Hoopdriverwasmerelypromenading，andtheymetfacetoface。
Atthesightofhisadversary，somethingbetweendisgustandlaughterseizedMr。Hoopdriverandforamomentdestroyedhisanimosity。\"’Ereweareagain！\"hesaid，laughinginsincerelyinasuddenoutbreakattheperversityofchance。
TheothermaninbrownstoppedshortinMr。Hoopdriver’sway，staring。Thenhisfaceassumedanexpressionofdangerouscivility。\"Isitanyinformationtoyou，\"hesaid，withimmensepoliteness，\"whenIremarkthatyouarefollowingus？\"
Mr。Hoopdriver，forsomeoccultreason，resistedhischaracteristicimpulsetoapologise。Hewantedtoannoy。theothermaninbrown，andasentencethathadcomeintohisheadinapreviousrehearsalcroppedupappropriately。\"Sincewhen，\"saidMr。Hoopdriver，catchinghisbreath，yetbringingthequestionoutvaliantly，nevertheless，——\"sincewhen’aveyoupurchasedthecountyofSussex？\"
\"MayIpointout，\"saidtheothermaninbrown，\"thatIobject——
weobjectnotonlytoyourproximitytous。Tobefrank——youappeartobefollowingus——withanobject。\"
\"Youcanalways，\"saidMr。Hoopdriver，\"turnroundifyoudon’tlikeit，andgobackthewayyoucame。\"
\"Oh—o！\"saidtheothermaninbrown。\"THAT’Sit！Ithoughtasmuch。\"
\"Didyou？\"saidMr。Hoopdriver，quiteatsea，butrisingpluckilytotheunknownoccasion。Whatwasthemandrivingat？
\"Isee，\"saidtheotherman。\"Isee。Ihalfsuspected——\"Hismannerchangedabruptlytoaqualitysuspiciouslyfriendly。\"Yes—
—awordwithyou。Youwill，Ihope，givemetenminutes。\"
WonderfulthingsweredawningonMr。Hoopdriver。Whatdidtheothermantakehimfor？Hereatlastwasreality！Hehesitated。
Thenhethoughtofanadmirablephrase。\"You’avesomecommunication——\"
\"We’llcallitacommunication，\"saidtheotherman。
\"Icanspareyouthetenminutes，\"saidMr。Hoopdriver，withdignity。
\"Thisway，then，\"saidtheothermaninbrown，andtheywalkedslowlydowntheNorthStreettowardstheGrammarSchool。Therewas，perhaps，thirtyseconds’silence。Theothermanstrokedhismoustachenervously。Mr。Hoopdriver’sdramaticinstinctswerenowfullyawake。Hedidnotquiteunderstandinwhatrolehewascast，butitwasevidentlysomethingdarkandmysterious。DoctorConanDoyle，VictorHugo，andAlexanderDumaswerewellwithinMr。Hoopdriver’srangeofreading，andhehadnotreadthemfornothing。
\"Iwillbeperfectlyfrankwithyou，\"saidtheothermaninbrown。
\"Franknessisalwaysthebestcourse，\"saidMr。Hoopdriver。
\"Well，then——whothedevilsetyouonthisbusiness？\"
\"SetmeONthisbusiness？\"
\"Don’tpretendtobestupid。Who’syouremployer？Whoengagedyouforthisjob？\"
\"Well，\"saidMr。Hoopdriver，confused。\"No——Ican’tsay。\"
\"Quitesure？\"Theothermaninbrownglancedmeaninglydownathishand，andMr。Hoopdriver，followinghimmechanically，sawayellowmillededgeglitteringinthetwilight。Nowyourshopassistantisjustabovethetip—receivingclass，andonlyjustaboveit——sothatheisacutelysensitiveonthepoint。
Mr。Hoopdriverflushedhotly，andhiseyeswereangryashemetthoseoftheothermaninbrown。\"Stowit！\"saidMr。Hoopdriver，stoppingandfacingthetempter。
\"What！\"saidtheothermaninbrown，surprised。\"Eigh？\"Andsosayinghestoweditinhisbreechespocket。
\"D’yerthinkI’mtobebribed？\"saidMr。Hoopdriver，whoseimaginationwasrapidlyexpandingthesituation。\"ByGosh！I’dfollowyounow——\"
\"Mydearsir，\"saidtheothermaninbrown，\"Ibegyourpardon。I
misunderstoodyou。Ireallybegyourpardon。Letuswalkon。Inyourprofession——\"
\"Whathaveyougottosayagainstmyprofession？\"
\"Well，really，youknow。Therearedetectivesofaninferiordescription——watchers。Thewholeclass。PrivateInquiry——Ididnotrealise——Ireallytrustyouwilloverlookwhatwas，afterall——youmustadmit——anaturalindiscretion。Menofhonourarenotsocommonintheworld——inanyprofession。\"
ItwasluckyforMr。HoopdriverthatinMidhursttheydonotlightthelampsinthesummertime，ortheonetheywerepassinghadbetrayedhim。Asitwas，hehadtosnatchsuddenlyathismoustacheandtugfiercelyatit，toconcealthefurioustumultofexultation，thepassionoflaughter，thatcameboilingup。
Detective！EvenintheshadowBechamelsawthatalaughwasstifled，butheputitdowntothefactthatthephrase\"menofhonour\"amusedhisinterlocutor。\"He’llcomeroundyet，\"saidBechameltohimself。\"He’ssimplyholdingoutforafiver。\"Hecoughed。
\"Idon’tseethatithurtsyoutotellmewhoyouremployeris。\"
\"Don’tyou？Ido。\"
\"Prompt，\"saidBechamel，appreciatively。\"Nowhere’sthethingI
wanttoputtoyou——thekernelofthewholebusiness。Youneednotanswerifyoudon’twantto。There’snoharmdoneinmytellingyouwhatIwanttoknow。Areyouemployedtowatchme——orMissMilton？\"
\"I’mnottheleakysort，\"saidMr。Hoopdriver，keepingthesecrethedidnotknowwithimmenseenjoyment。MissMilton！Thatwashername。Perhapshe’dtellsomemore。\"It’snogoodpumping。Isthatallyou’reafter？\"saidMr。Hoopdriver。
Bechamelrespectedhimselfforhisdiplomaticgifts。Hetriedtocatcharemarkbythrowingoutaconfidence。\"Itakeittherearetwopeopleconcernedinwatchingthisaffair。\"
\"Who’stheother？\"saidMr。Hoopdriver，calmly，butcontrollingwithenormousinternaltensionhisselfappreciation。\"Who’stheother？\"wasreallybrilliant，hethought。
\"There’smywifeandHERstepmother。\"
\"Andyouwanttoknowwhichitis？\"
\"Yes，\"saidBechamel。
\"Well——arst’em！\"saidMr。Hoopdriver，hisexultationgettingthebetterofhim，andwithaprettyconsciousnessofrepartee。\"Arst’emboth。\"
Bechamelturnedimpatiently。Thenhemadealasteffort。\"I’dgiveafive—poundnotetoknowjusttheprecisestateofaffairs，\"hesaid。
\"Itoldyoutostowthat，\"saidMr。Hoopdriver，inathreateningtone。Andaddedwithperfecttruthandamagnificentmystery，\"Youdon’tquiteunderstandwhoyou’redealingwith。Butyouwill！\"HespokewithsuchconvictionthathehalfbelievedthatthatdefectiveofficeofhisinLondon——BakerStreet，infact——
reallyexisted。
Withthattheinterviewterminated。BechamelwentbacktotheAngel，perturbed。\"Hangdetectives！\"Itwasn’tthekindofthinghehadanticipatedatall。Hoopdriver，withroundeyesandawonderingsmile，walkeddowntowherethemillwatersglitteredinthemoonlight，andaftermeditatingovertheparapetofthebridgeforaspace，withoccasionalmurmursof，\"PrivateInquiry\"
andthelike，returned，withmysteryeveninhispaces，towardsthetown。
XVIII
Thatgleewhichfindsexpressioninraisedeyebrowsandlong，lowwhistlingnoiseswasuponMr。Hoopdriver。ForaspaceheforgotthetearsoftheYoungLadyinGrey。Herewasanewgame！——andarealone。Mr。HoopdriverasaPrivateInquiryAgent，aSherlockHolmesinfact，keepingthesetwopeople’underobservation。’HewalkedslowlybackfromthebridgeuntilhewasoppositetheAngel，andstoodfortenminutes，perhaps，contemplatingthatestablishmentandenjoyingallthestrangesensationsofbeingthiswonderful，thismysteriousandterriblething。Everythingfellintoplaceinhisscheme。Hehad，ofcourse，byakindofinstinct，assumedthedisguiseofacyclist，pickedupthefirstoldcrockhecameacrossasameansofpursuit。’Noexpensewastobespared。’
Thenhetriedtounderstandwhatitwasinparticularthathewasobserving。\"Mywife\"——\"HERstepmother！\"Thenherememberedherswimmingeyes。Abruptlycameawaveofangerthatsurprisedhim，washedawaythedetectivesuperstructure，andlefthimplainMr。
Hoopdriver。Thismaninbrown，withhisconfidentmanner，andhisprofferedhalfsovereign（damnhim！）wasuptonogood，elsewhyshouldheobjecttobeingwatched？Hewasmarried！Shewasnothissister。Hebegantounderstand。AhorriblesuspicionofthestateofaffairscameintoMr。Hoopdriver’shead。SurelyithadnotcometoTHAT。Hewasadetective！——hewouldfindout。Howwasittobedone？Hebegantosubmitsketchesonapprovaltohimself。ItrequiredaneffortbeforehecouldwalkintotheAngelbar。\"Alemonadeandbitter，please，\"saidMr。Hoopdriver。
Heclearedhisthroat。\"AreMr。andMrs。Bowlongstoppinghere？\"
\"What，agentlemanandayounglady——onbicycles？\"
\"Fairlyyoung——amarriedcouple。\"
\"No，\"saidthebarmaid，atalkativepersonofampledimensions。
\"There’snomarriedcouplesstoppinghere。Butthere’saMr。andMissBEAUMONT。\"Shespeltitforprecision。\"Sureyou’vegotthenameright，youngman？\"
\"Quite，\"saidMr。Hoopdriver。
\"Beaumontthereis，butnooneofthenameof——Whatwasthenameyougave？\"
\"Bowlong，\"saidMr。Hoopdriver。
\"No，thereain’tnoBowlong，\"saidthebarmaid，takingupaglassclothandadryingtumblerandbeginningtopolishthelatter。\"Firstoff，IthoughtyoumightbeaskingforBeaumont——
thenamesbeingsimilar。Wereyouexpectingthemonbicycles？\"
\"Yes——theysaidtheyMIGHTbeinMidhursttonight。\"
\"P’rapsthey’llcomepresently。Beaumont’shere，butnoBowlong。
SurethatBeaumontain’tthename？\"
\"Certain，\"saidMr。Hoopdriver。
\"It’scuriousthenamesbeingsoalike。Ithoughtp’raps——\"
Andsotheyconversedatsomelength，Mr。Hoopdriverdelightedtofindhishorriblesuspiciondisposedof。Thebarmaidhavinglistenedawhileatthestaircasevolunteeredsomeparticularsoftheyoungcoupleupstairs。Hermodestywasmuchimpressedbytheyounglady’scostume，sosheintimated，andMr。Hoopdriverwhisperedthebadinagenaturaltotheoccasion，atwhichshewascoquettishlyshocked。\"There’llbenoknowingwhichiswhich，inayearortwo，\"saidthebarmaid。\"Andhermannertoo！Shegotoffhermachineandgiveit’imtostickupagainstthekerb，andinshemarched。’Iandmybrother，’saysshe，’wanttostophereto—night。Mybrotherdoesn’tmindwhatkindofroom’e’as，butI
wantaroomwithagoodview，ifthere’sonetobegot，’saysshe。Hecomeshurryinginafterandlooksather。’I’vesettledtherooms，’shesays，and’esays’damn！’justlikethat。Icanfancymybrotherlettingmebosstheshowlikethat。\"
\"Idessayyoudo，\"saidMr。Hoopdriver，\"ifthetruthwasknown。\"
Thebarmaidlookeddown，smiledandshookherhead，putdownthetumbler，polished，andtookupanotherthathadbeendraining，andshookthedropsofwaterintoherlittlezincsink。
\"She’llbeanicelittlelottomarry，\"saidthebarmaid。\"She’llbewearingthe——well，b—dashes，asthesayin’is。Ican’tthinkwhatgirlsiscomin’to。\"
ThisdepreciationoftheYoungLadyinGreywashardlytoHoopdriver’staste。
\"Fashion，\"saidhe，takinguphischange。\"Fashionisallthegowithyouladies——andalwayswas。You’llbewearing’emyourselfbeforeacoupleofyearsisout。\"
\"Nicethey’dlookonmyfigger，\"saidthebarmaid，withatitter。
\"No——Iain’toneofyourfashionablesort。Graciousno！I
shouldn’tfeelasifI’danythingonme，notmorethanifI’dforgot——Well，there！I’mtalking。\"Sheputdowntheglassabruptly。\"IdessayI’moldfashioned，\"shesaid，andwalkedhummingdownthebar。
\"Notyou，\"saidMr。Hoopdriver。Hewaiteduntilhecaughthereye，thenwithhisnativecourtesysmiled，raisedhiscap，andwishedhergoodevening。
XIX
ThenMr。Hoopdriverreturnedtothelittleroomwiththelead—framedwindowswherehehaddined，andwherethebedwasnowcomfortablymade，satdownontheboxunderthewindow，staredatthemoonrisingontheshiningvicarageroof，andtriedtocollecthisthoughts。Howtheywhirledatfirst！Itwaspastten，andmostofMidhurstwastuckedawayinbed，someoneupthestreetwaslearningtheviolin，atrareintervalsabelatedinhabitanthurriedhomeandwoketheechoes，andacorncrakekeptupabusychurninginthevicaragegarden。Theskywasdeepblue，withastillluminousafterglowalongthehlackedgeofthehill，andthewhitemoonoverhead，saveforacoupleofyellowstars，hadtheskytoherself。
Atfirsthisthoughtswerekinetic，ofdeedsandnotrelationships。Therewasthismalefactor，andhisvictim，andithadfallenonMr。Hoopdrivertotakeahandinthegame。HEwasmarried。Didsheknowhewasmarried？NeverforamomentdidathoughtofevilconcerninghercrossHoopdriver’smind。Simple—
mindedpeopleseequestionsofmoralssomuchbetterthansuperiorpersons——whohavereadandthoughtthemselvescomplextoimpotence。Hehadheardhervoice，seenthefranklightinhereyes，andshehadbeenweeping——thatsufficed。Therightsofthecasehehadn’tproperlygrasped。Buthewould。Andthatsmirking—
—well，swinewasthemildestforhim。Herecalledtheexceedinglyunpleasantincidentoftherailwaybridge。\"Thinwewon’tdetainyer，thenks，\"saidMr。Hoopdriver，aloud，inastrange，unnatural，contemptiblevoice，supposedtorepresentthatofBechamel。\"Oh，theBEGGAR！I’llbelevelwithhimyet。He’safraidofusdetectives——thatI’llSWEAR。\"（IfMrs。Wardorshouldchancetobeontheothersideofthedoorwithinearshot，wellandgood。）
Foraspacehemeditatedchastisementsandrevenges，physicalimpossibilitiesforthemostpart，——BechamelstaggeringheadlongfromtheimpactofMr。Hoopdriver’slarge，but，totellthetruth，illsupportedfist，Bechamel’sfivefeetnineofheightliftedfromthegroundandquiveringunderavigorouslyappliedhorsewhip。Sopleasantwassuchdreaming，thatMr。Hoopdriver’speakedfaceunderthemoonlightwastransfigured。Onemighthavepairedhimwiththatwell—knownanduniversallyadmiredtriumph，’TheSoul’sAwakening，’sosweetwashisecstasy。Andpresentlywithhisthirstforrevengegluttedbysixorsevenviolentassaults，aduelandtwovigorousmurders，hismindcameroundtotheYoungLadyinGreyagain。
Shewasapluckyonetoo。HewentovertheincidentthebarmaidattheAngelhaddescribedtohim。Histhoughtsceasedtobeatorrent，smootheddowntoamirrorinwhichshewasreflectedwithinfiniteclearnessanddetail。He’dnevermetanythinglikeherbefore。Fancythatbolsterofabarmaidbeingdressedinthatway！Hewhuffedacontemptuouslaugh。Hecomparedhercolour，hervigour，hervoice，withtheYoungLadiesinBusinesswithwhomhislothadbeencast。Evenintearsshewasbeautiful，morebeautifulindeedtohim，foritmadeherseemsofterandweaker，moreaccessible。Andsuchweepingashehadseenbeforehadbeensomuchamatterofdampwhitefaces，rednoses，andhaircomingoutofcurl。Yourdraper’sassistantbecomessomethingofajudgeofweeping，becauseweepingisthecustomofallYoungLadiesinBusiness，whenforanyreasontheirservicesaredispensedwith。
Shecouldweep——and（byGosh！）shecouldsmile。HEknewthat，andrevertingtoactingabruptly，hesmiledconfidentiallyatthepuckeredpallorofthemoon。
ItisdifficulttosayhowlongMr。Hoopdriver’spensivenesslasted。Itseemedalongtimebeforehisthoughtsofactionreturned。Thenherememberedhewasa’watcher’;thatto—morrowhemustbebusy。Itwouldbeincharactertomakenotes，andhepulledouthislittlenote—book。Withthatinhandhefella—thinkingagain。Wouldthatchaptellherthe’teckswereafterthem？Ifso，wouldshebeasanxioustogetawayasHEwas？Hemustbeonthealert。Ifpossiblehemustspeaktoher。Justasignificantword，\"Yourfriend——trustme！\"——Itoccurredtohimthatto—morrowthesefugitivesmightriseearlytoescape。Atthathethoughtofthetimeandfounditwashalf—pasteleven。
\"Lord！\"saidhe，\"ImustseethatIwake。\"Heyawnedandrose。
Theblindwasup，andhepulledbackthelittlechintzcurtainstoletthesunlightstrikeacrosstothebed，hunghiswatchwithingoodviewofhispillow，onanailthatsupportedakettle—holder，andsatdownonhisbedtoundress。Helayawakeforalittlewhilethinkingofthewonderfulpossibilitiesofthemorrow，andthencehepassedgloriouslyintothewonderlandofdreams。
