Billings。Andasthereadermayrememberthat，onthedayofTommy’sfirstinterviewwithhisfather，hehadpreviouslypaidavisittoMrs。Briggs，havingunderhisarmapairofbreeches，whichMrs。Briggscoveted——heshouldnowbeinformedthatshedesiredthesebreeches，notforpincushions，butforMr。Moffat，whohadlongbeeninwantofapair。
HavingthusepisodicallynarratedMr。Moffat’shistory，letusstatethathe，hislady，andtheirfriends，passedbeforetheCount’sarbour，joininginamelodiouschorustoasongwhichoneofthesociety，anactorofBetterton’s，wassinging：
\"’Tismywill，whenI’mdead，thatnotearshallbeshed，No’Hicjacet’begravedonmystone；
Butpouro’ermyashesabottleofred，Andsayagoodfellowisgone，Mybraveboys！
Andsayagoodfellowisgone。\"
\"Mybraveboys\"wasgivenwithvastemphasisbytheparty；Mr。
Moffatgrowlingitinarichbass，andMrs。Briggsinasoaringtreble。Astothenotes，whenquaveringuptotheskies，theyexcitedvariousemotionsamongthepeopleinthegardens。\"Silencethemblackguards！\"shoutedabarber，whowastakingapintofsmallbeeralongwithhislady。\"Stopthatthereinfernalscreeching！\"
saidacoupleofladies，whoweresippingratafiaincompanywithtwoprettyfellows。
\"Dangit，it’sPolly！\"saidMr。TomBillings，boltingoutofthebox，andrushingtowardsthesweet—voicedMrs。Briggs。Whenhereachedher，whichhedidquickly，andmadehisarrivalknownbytippingMrs。Briggsslightlyonthewaist，andsuddenlybouncingdownbeforeherandherfriend，bothofthelatterdrewbacksomewhatstartled。
\"Law，Mr。Billings！\"saysMrs。Polly，rathercoolly，\"isityou？
Whothoughtofseeingyouhere？\"
\"Who’sthishereyoungfeller？\"saystoweringMr。Moffat，withhisbassvoice。
\"It’sMr。Billings，cousin，afriendofmine，\"saidMrs。Polly，beseechingly。
\"Oh，cousin，ifit’safriendofyours，heshouldknowbetterhowtoconducthimself，that’sall。Haryouadancing—master，youngfeller，thatyoucutthemtherecapersbeforegentlemen？\"growledMr。Moffat；whohatedMr。Billings，fortheexcellentreasonthatheliveduponhim。
\"Dancing—masterbehanged！\"saidMr。Billings，withbecomingspirit：
\"ifyoucallmedancing—master，I’llpullyournose。\"
\"What！\"roaredMr。Moffat，\"pullmynose？MYNOSE！I’lltellyouwhat，mylad，ifyoudurstmoveme，I’llcutyourthroat，curseme！\"
\"Oh，Moffy——cousin，Imean——’tisashametotreatthepoorboyso。
Goaway，Tommy；dogoaway；mycousin’sinliquor，\"whimperedMadamBriggs，whoreallythoughtthatthegreatdoorkeeperwouldputhisthreatintoexecution。
\"Tommy！\"saidMr。Moffat，frowninghorribly；\"Tommytometoo？Dog，getoutofmyssss———\"SIGHTwasthewordwhichMr。Moffatintendedtoutter；buthewasinterrupted；for，totheastonishmentofhisfriendsandhimself，Mr。Billingsdidactuallymakeaspringatthemonster’snose，andcaughtitsofirmly，thatthelattercouldnotfinishhissentence。
Theoperationwasperformedwithamazingcelerity；and，havingconcludedit，Mr。Billingssprangback，andwhiskedfromoutitssheaththatnewsilver—hiltedswordwhichhismammahadgivenhim。
\"Now，\"saidhe，withafiercekindofcalmness，\"nowforthethroat—cutting，cousin：I’myourman！\"
Howthebrawlmighthaveended，noonecansay，hadthetwogentlemenactuallycrossedswords；butMrs。Polly，withawonderfulpresenceofmind，restoredpeacebyexclaiming，\"Hush，hush！thebeaks，thebeaks！\"Uponwhich，withonecommoninstinct，thewholepartymadearushforthegardengates，anddisappearedintothefields。Mrs。Briggsknewhercompany：therewassomethingintheverynameofaconstablewhichsentthemalla—flying。
Afterrunningareasonabletime，Mr。Billingsstopped。ButthegreatMoffatwasnowheretobeseen，andPollyBriggshadlikewisevanished。ThenTombethoughthimthathewouldgobacktohismother；but，arrivingatthegateofthegardens，wasrefusedadmittance，ashehadnotashillinginhispocket。\"I’veleft，\"
saysTommy，givinghimselftheairsofagentleman，\"somefriendsinthegardens。I’mwithhisExcellencytheBavarianhenvy。\"
\"Thenyouhadbettergoawaywithhim，\"saidthegatepeople。
\"ButItellyouIlefthimthere，inthegrandcircle，withalady；
and，what’smore，inthedarkwalk，Ihaveleftasilver—hiltedsword。\"
\"Oh，myLord，I’llgoandtellhimthen，\"criedoneoftheporters，\"ifyouwillwait。\"
Mr。Billingsseatedhimselfonapostnearthegate，andthereconsentedtoremainuntilthereturnofhismessenger。Thelatterwentstraighttothedarkwalk，andfoundthesword，sureenough。
But，insteadofreturningittoitsownerthisdiscourteousknightbrokethetrenchantbladeatthehilt；andflingingthesteelaway，pocketedthebasersilvermetal，andlurkedoffbytheprivatedoorconsecratedtothewaitersandfiddlers。
Inthemeantime，Mr。Billingswaitedandwaited。Andwhatwastheconversationofhisworthyparentsinsidethegarden？Icannotsay；
butoneofthewaitersdeclaredthathehadservedthegreatforeignCountwithtwobowlsofrack—punch，andsomebiscuits，inNo。3：
thatintheboxwithhimwerefirstayounggentleman，whowentaway，andalady，splendidlydressedandmasked：thatwhentheladyandhisLordshipwerealone，sheedgedawaytothefurtherendofthetable，andtheyhadmuchtalk：thatatlast，whenhisGracehadpressedherverymuch，shetookoffhermaskandsaid，\"Don’tyouknowmenow，Max？\"thathecriedout，\"MyownCatherine，thouartmorebeautifulthanever！\"andwantedtokneeldownandvoweternallovetoher；butshebeggedhimnottodosoinaplacewherealltheworldwouldsee：thatthenhisHighnesspaid，andtheyleftthegardens，theladyputtingonhermaskagain。
Whentheyissuedfromthegardens，\"Ho！JosephlaRose，mycoach！\"
shoutedhisExcellency，inratherahuskyvoice；andthemenwhohadbeenwaitingcameupwiththecarriage。Ayounggentleman，whowasdosingononeofthepostsattheentry，wokeupsuddenlyattheblazeofthetorchesandthenoiseofthefootmen。TheCountgavehisarmtotheladyinthemask，whoslippedin；andhewaswhisperingLaRose，whentheladwhohadbeensleepinghithisExcellencyontheshoulder，andsaid，\"Isay，Count，youcangiveME
acasthometoo，\"andjumpedintothecoach。
WhenCatherinesawherson，shethrewherselfintohisarms，andkissedhimwithaburstofhystericaltears；ofwhichMr。Billingswasatalosstounderstandthemeaning。TheCountjoinedthem，lookingnotalittledisconcerted；andthepairwerelandedattheirowndoor，wherestoodMr。Hayes，inhisnightcap，readytoreceivethem，andastoundedatthesplendouroftheequipageinwhichhiswifereturnedtohim。
CHAPTERXI。OFSOMEDOMESTICQUARRELS，ANDTHECONSEQUENCETHEREOF。
Aningeniousmagazine—writer，wholivedinthetimeofMr。BrockandtheDukeofMarlborough，comparedthelattergentleman’sconductinbattle，whenhe\"Inpeacefulthoughtthefieldofdeathsurveyed，Tofaintingsquadronslentthetimelyaid；
Inspiredrepulsedbattalionstoengage，Andtaughtthedoubtfulbattlewheretorage\"——
Mr。JosephAddison，Isay，comparedtheDukeofMarlboroughtoanangel，whoissentbyDivinecommandtochastiseaguiltypeople——
\"AndpleasedhisMaster’sorderstoperform，Ridesonthewhirlwind，anddirectsthestorm。\"
ThefirstfourofthesenovellinestouchofftheDuke’sdispositionandgeniustoatittle。Hehadaloveforsuchscenesofstrife：
inthemidstofthemhisspiritrosecalmandsupreme，soaring（likeanangelornot，butanywaythecomplimentisaveryprettyone）onthebattle—cloudsmajestic，andcausingtoebbortoflowthemightytideofwar。
Butasthisfamoussimilemightapplywithequalpropriety——toabadangelastoagoodone，itmayinlikemannerbeemployedtoillustratesmallquarrelsaswellasgreat——alittlefamilysquabble，inwhichtwoorthreepeopleareengaged，aswellasavastnationaldispute，arguedoneachsidebytheroaringthroatsoffivehundredangrycannon。Thepoetmeans，infact，thattheDukeofMarlboroughhadanimmensegeniusformischief。
OurfriendBrock，orWood（whoseactionswelovetoillustratebytheveryhandsomestsimiles），possessedthisgeniusincommonwithhisGrace；andwasneversohappy，orseentosomuchadvantage，aswhenhewasemployedinsettingpeoplebytheears。Hisspirits，usuallydull，thenroseintotheutmostgaietyandgood—humour。
Whenthedoubtfulbattleflagged，hebyhisartwouldinstantlyrestoreit。When，forinstance，Tom’srepulsedbattalionsofrhetoricfledfromhismamma’sfire，afewwordsofaptsneerorencouragementonWood’spartwouldbringthefightroundagain；orwhenMr。Hayes’sfaintingsquadronsofabusebrokeuponthestubbornsquaresofTom’sbristlingobstinacy，itwasWood’sdelighttorallytheformer，andbringhimoncemoretothecharge。Agreatsharehadthismaninmakingthosebadpeopleworse。Manyfiercewordsandbadpassions，manyfalsehoodsandknaveriesonTom’spart，muchbitterness，scorn，andjealousyonthepartofHayesandCatherine，mightbeattributedtothishoaryoldtempter，whosejoyandoccupationitwastoraiseanddirectthedomesticstormsandwhirlwindsofthefamilyofwhichhewasamember。Anddonotletusbeaccusedofanunduepropensitytousesoundingwords，becausewecomparethreescoundrelsintheTyburnRoadtosomanyarmies，andMr。Woodtoamightyfield—marshal。Mydearsir，whenyouhavewellstudiedtheworld——howsupremelygreatthemeanestthinginthisworldis，andhowinfinitelymeanthegreatest——Iammistakenifyoudonotmakeastrangeandproperjumbleofthesublimeandtheridiculous，theloftyandthelow。Ihavelookedattheworld，formypart，andcometotheconclusionthatIknownotwhichiswhich。
Well，then，onthenightwhenMrsHayes，asrecordedbyus，hadbeentotheMaryleboneGardens，Mr。Woodhadfoundthesincerestenjoymentinplyingherhusbandwithdrink；sothat，whenCatherinearrivedathome，Mr。Hayescameforwardtomeetherinamannerwhichshowedhewasnotonlysurly，butdrunk。Tomsteppedoutofthecoachfirst；andHayesaskedhim，withanoath，wherehehadbeen？TheoathMr。Billingssternlyflungbackagain（withanotherinitscompany），andatthesametimerefusedtogivehisstepfatheranysortofanswertohisquery。
\"Theoldmanisdrunk，mother，\"saidhetoMrs。Hayes，ashehandedthatladyoutofthecoach（beforeleavingwhichshehadtowithdrawherhandratherviolentlyfromthegraspoftheCount，whowasinside）。HayesinstantlyshowedthecorrectnessofhissurmisebyslammingthedoorcourageouslyinTom’sface，whenheattemptedtoenterthehousewithhismother。AndwhenMrs。Catherineremonstrated，accordingtoherwont，inaveryangryandsupercilioustone，Mr。Hayesrepliedwithequalhaughtiness，andaregularquarrelensued。
Peoplewereaccustomedinthosedaystousemuchmoresimpleandexpressivetermsoflanguagethanarenowthoughtpolite；anditwouldbedangeroustogive，inthispresentyear1840，theexactwordsofreproachwhichpassedbetweenHayesandhiswifein1726。
Mr。Woodsatnear，laughinghissidesout。Mr。Hayessworethathiswifeshouldnotgoabroadtotea—gardensinsearchofvilePopishnoblemen；towhichMrs。Hayesreplied，thatMr。Hayeswasapitiful，lying，sneakingcur，andthatshewouldgowhereshepleased。Mr。
Hayesrejoinedthatifshesaidmuchmorehewouldtakeasticktoher。Mr。Woodwhispered，\"Andserveherright。\"Mrs。Hayesthereuponsworeshehadstoodhiscowardlyblowsonceortwicebefore，butthatifeverhedidsoagain，assureasshewasborn，shewouldstabhim。Mr。Woodsaid，\"Curseme，butIlikeherspirit。\"
Mr。Hayestookanotherlineofargument，andsaid，\"Theneighbourswouldtalk，madam。\"
\"Ay，thattheywill，nodoubt，\"saidMr。Wood。
\"Thenletthem，\"saidCatherine。\"Whatdowecareabouttheneighbours？Didn’ttheneighbourstalkwhenyousentWidowWilkinstogaol？Didn’ttheneighbourstalkwhenyouleviedonpooroldThomson？Youdidn’tmindTHEN，Mr，Hayes。\"
\"Business，ma’am，isbusiness；andifIdiddistrainonThomson，andlockupWilkins，IthinkyouknewaboutitasmuchasI。\"
\"I’faith，Ibelieveyou’reapair，\"saidMr。Wood。
\"Pray，sir，keepyourtonguetoyourself。Youropinionisn’taskedanyhow——no，noryourcompanywantedneither，\"criedMrs。Catherine，withproperspirit。
AtwhichremarkMr。Woodonlywhistled。
\"Ihaveaskedthisheregentlemantopassthiseveningalongwithme。We’vebeendrinkingtogether，ma’am。\"
\"Thatwehave\"，saidMr。Wood，lookingatMrs。Catwiththemostperfectgood—humour。
\"Isay，ma’am，thatwe’vebeena—drinkingtogether；andwhenwe’vebeena—drinkingtogether，Isaythatamanismyfriend。DoctorWoodismyfriend，madam——theReverendDoctorWood。We’vepassedtheeveningincompany，talkingaboutpolitics，madam——politicsandriddle—iddle—igion。We’venotbeenflauntingintea—gardens，andoglingthemen。\"
\"It’salie！\"shriekedMrs。Hayes。\"IwentwithTom——youknowI
did：theboywouldn’tletmeresttillIpromisedtogo。\"
\"Hanghim，Ihatehim，\"saidMr。Hayes：\"he’salwaysinmyway。\"
\"He’stheonlyfriendIhaveintheworld，andtheonlybeingIcareapinfor，\"saidCatherine。
\"He’sanimpudentidlegood—for—nothingscoundrel，andIhopetoseehimhanged！\"shoutedMr。Hayes。\"Andpray，madam，whosecarriagewasthatasyoucamehomein？Iwarrantyoupaidsomethingfortheride——ha，ha！\"
\"Anotherlie！\"screamedCat，andclutchedholdofasupper—knife。
\"Sayitagain，JohnHayes，and，by——————I’lldoforyou。\"
\"Doforme？Hangme，\"saidMr。Hayes，flourishingastick，andperfectlypot—valiant，\"doyouthinkIcareforabastardanda——？\"
Hedidnotfinishthesentence，forthewomanranathimlikeasavage，knifeinhand。Heboundedback，flinginghisarmsaboutwildly，andstruckherwithhisstaffsharplyacrosstheforehead。
Thewomanwentdowninstantly。AluckyblowwasitforHayesandher：itsavedhimfromdeath，perhaps，andherfrommurder。
Allthisscene——averyimportantoneofourdrama——mighthavebeendescribedatmuchgreaterlength；but，intruth，theauthorhasanaturalhorrorofdwellingtoolonguponsuchhideousspectacles：
norwouldthereaderbemuchedifiedbyafullandaccurateknowledgeofwhattookplace。Thequarrel，however，thoughnotmoreviolentthanmanythathadpreviouslytakenplacebetweenHayesandhiswife，wasabouttocausevastchangesintheconditionofthisunhappypair。
Hayeswasatthefirstmomentofhisvictoryverymuchalarmed；hefearedthathehadkilledthewoman；andWoodstartedupratheranxiouslytoo，withthesamefancy。Butshesoonbegantorecover。
Waterwasbrought；herheadwasraisedandboundup；andinashorttimeMrs。Catherinegaveventtoacopiousfitoftears，whichrelievedhersomewhat。ThesedidnotaffectHayesmuch——theyratherpleasedhim，forhesawhehadgotthebetter；andalthoughCatfiercelyturneduponhimwhenhemadesomesmallattempttowardsreconciliation，hedidnotheedheranger，butsmiledandwinkedinaself—satisfiedwayatWood。Thecowardwasquiteproudofhisvictory；andfindingCatherineasleep，orapparentlyso，whenhefollowedhertobed，speedilygavehimselfuptoslumbertoo，andhadsomepleasantdreamstohisportion。
Mr。Woodalsowentsniggeringandhappyupstairstohischamber。
Thequarrelhadbeenarealtreattohim；itexcitedtheoldman—
—tickledhimintogood—humour；andhepromisedhimselfararecontinuationofthefunwhenTomshouldbemadeacquaintedwiththecircumstancesofthedispute。AsforhisExcellencytheCount，theridefromMaryleboneGardens，andatendersqueezeofthehand，whichCatherinepermittedtohimonparting，hadsoinflamedthepassionsofthenobleman，that，aftersleepingforninehours，andtakinghischocolateasusualthenextmorning，heactuallydelayedtoreadthenewspaper，andkeptwaitingatoy—shopladyfromCornhill（withthesweetestbargainofMechlinlace），inordertodiscoursetohischaplainonthecharmsofMrs。Hayes。
She，poorthing，neverclosedherlids，exceptwhenshewouldhavehadMr。Hayesimaginethatsheslumbered；butlaybesidehim，tossingandtumbling，withhoteyeswideopenandheartthumping，andpulseofahundredandten，andheardtheheavyhourstolling；
andatlastthedaycamepeering，haggard，throughthewindow—curtains，andfoundherstillwakefulandwretched。
Mrs。Hayeshadneverbeen，aswehaveseen，especiallyfondofherlord；butnow，asthedaymadevisibletoherthesleepingfigureandcountenanceofthatgentleman，shelookedathimwithacontemptandloathingsuchasshehadneverfelteveninalltheyearsofherweddedlife。Mr。Hayeswassnoringprofoundly：byhisbedside，onhisledger，stoodalargegreasytincandlestick，containingalanktallow—candle，turneddownintheshaft；andinthelowerpart，hiskeys，purse，andtobacco—pipe；hisfeetwerehuddledupinhisgreasythreadbareclothes；hisheadandhalfhissallowfacemuffledupinaredwoollennightcap；hisbeardwasofseveraldays’growth；
hismouthwaswideopen，andhewassnoringprofoundly：onamoredespicablelittlecreaturethesunnevershone。AndtothissordidwretchwasCatherineunitedforever。Whataprettyrascalhistorymightbereadinyondergreasyday—book，whichneverleftthemiser！——heneverreadinanyother。Ofwhatatreasurewereyonderkeysandpursethekeepers！notashillingtheyguardedbutwaspickedfromthepocketofnecessity，plunderedfromneedywantonness，orpitilesslysqueezedfromstarvation。\"Afool，amiser，andacoward！WhywasIboundtothiswretch？\"thoughtCatherine：\"I，whoamhigh—spiritedandbeautiful（didnotHEtellmeso？）；Iwho，bornabeggar，haveraisedmyselftocompetence，andmighthavemounted——whoknowswhither？——ifcursedFortunehadnotbaulkedme！\"
AsMrs。Catdidnotutterthesesentiments，butonlythoughtthem，wehavearighttoclotheherthoughtsinthegenteelestpossiblelanguage；and，tothebestofourpower，havedoneso。IfthereaderexaminesMrs。Hayes’strainofreasoning，hewillnot，weshouldthink，failtoperceivehowingeniouslyshemanagedtofixallthewronguponherhusband，andyettotwistoutsomeconsolatoryargumentsforherownvanity。Thisperverseargumentationwehaveallofus，nodoubt，employedinourtime。
Howoftenhavewe，——wepoets，politicians，philosophers，family—men，——foundcharmingexcusesforourownrascalitiesinthemonstrouswickednessoftheworldaboutus；howloudlyhaveweabusedthetimesandourneighbours！Allthisdevil’slogicdidMrs。Catherine，lyingwakefulinherbedonthenightoftheMarylebonefete，exertingloomytriumph。
Itmust，however，beconfessed，thatnothingcouldbemorejustthanMrs。Hayes’ssenseofherhusband’sscoundrelismandmeanness；forifwehavenotprovedtheseinthecourseofthishistory，wehaveprovednothing。Mrs。Cathadashrewdobservingmind；andifshewantedforproofsagainstHayes，shehadbuttolookbeforeandabouthertofindthem。Thisamiablepairwerelyinginalargewalnut—bed，withfadedsilkfurniture，whichhadbeentakenfromunderarespectableoldinvalidwidow，whohadbecomesecurityforaprodigalson；theroomwashungroundwithanantiquetapestry（representingRebeccaattheWell，BathshebaBathing，JudithandHolofernes，andothersubjectsfromHolyWrit），whichhadbeenmanyscoretimessoldforfiftypounds，andboughtbackbyMr。Hayesfortwo，inthoseaccommodatingbargainswhichhemadewithyounggentlemen，whoreceivedfiftypoundsofmoneyandfiftyoftapestryinconsiderationoftheirhundred—poundbills。Againstthistapestry，andjustcuttingoffHolofernes’shead，stoodanenormousominousblackclock，thespoilofsomeotherusurioustransaction。
Somechairs，andadismaloldblackcabinet，completedthefurnitureofthisapartment：itwantedbutaghosttorenderitsgloomcomplete。
Mrs。Hayessatupinthebedsternlyregardingherhusband。Thereis，besure，astrongmagneticinfluenceinwakefuleyessoexaminingasleepingperson（donotyou，asaboy，rememberwakingofbrightsummermorningsandfindingyourmotherlookingoveryou？
hadnotthegazeofhertendereyesstolenintoyoursenseslongbeforeyouwoke，andcastoveryourslumberingspiritasweetspellofpeace，andlove，andfreshspringingjoy？）SomesuchinfluencehadCatherine’slooksuponherhusband：for，ashesleptunderthem，themanbegantowritheaboutuneasily，andtoburrowhisheadinthepillow，andtoutterquick，strangemoansandcries，suchashaveoftenjarredone’searwhilewatchingatthebedofthefeverishsleeper。Itwasjustuponsix，andpresentlytheclockbegantoutterthosedismalgrindingsounds，whichissuefromclocksatsuchperiods，andwhichsoundlikethedeath—rattleofthedepartinghour。Thenthebellstrucktheknellofit；andwiththisMr。Hayesawoke，andlookedup，andsawCatherinegazingathim。
Theireyesmetforaninstant，andCatherineturnedaway，burningred，andlookingasifshehadbeencaughtinthecommissionofacrime。
AkindofblankterrorseizeduponoldHayes’ssoul：ahorribleicyfear，andpresentimentofcomingevil；andyetthewomanhadbutlookedathim。Hethoughtrapidlyovertheoccurrencesofthelastnight，thequarrel，andtheendofit。Hehadoftenstruckherbeforewhenangry，andheapedallkindsofbitterwordsuponher；
but，inthemorning，sheborenomalice，andthepreviousquarrelwasforgotten，or，atleast，passedover。Whyshouldthelastnight’sdisputenothavethesameend？Hayescalculatedallthis，andtriedtosmile。
\"Ihopewe’refriends，Cat？\"saidhe。\"YouknowIwasinliquorlastnight，andsadlyputoutbythelossofthatfiftypound。
They’llruinme，dear——Iknowtheywill。\"
Mrs。Hayesdidnotanswer。
\"Ishouldliketoseethecountryagain，dear，\"saidhe，inhismostwheedlingway。\"I’veamind，doyouknow，tocallinallourmoney？
It’syouwho’vemadeeveryfarthingofit，that’ssure；andit’samatteroftwothousandpoundbythistime。SupposewegointoWarwickshire，Cat，andbuyafarm，andlivegenteel。Shouldn’tyouliketolivealadyinyourowncountyagain？Howthey’dstareatBirmingham！hey，Cat？\"
AndwiththisMr。Hayesmadeamotionasifhewouldseizehiswife’shand，butsheflunghisbackagain。
\"Coward！\"saidshe，\"youwantliquortogiveyoucourage，andthenyou’veonlyheartenoughtostrikewomen。\"
\"Itwasonlyinself—defence，mydear，\"saidHayes，whosecouragehadallgone。\"Youtried，youknow，to——to——\"
\"ToSTAByou，andIwishIhad！\"saidMrs。Hayes，settingherteeth，andglaringathimlikeademon；andsosayingshesprungoutofbed。Therewasagreatstainofbloodonherpillow。\"Lookatit，\"
saidshe。\"Thatblood’sofyourshedding！\"andatthisHayesfairlybegantoweep，soutterlydowncastandfrightenedwasthemiserableman。Thewretch’stearsonlyinspiredhiswifewithastillgreaterrageandloathing；shecarednotsomuchfortheblow，butshehatedtheman：themantowhomshewastiedforever——forever！Thebarbetweenherandwealth，happiness，love，rankperhaps。\"IfIwerefree，\"thoughtMrs。Hayes（thethoughthadbeensittingatherpillowallnight，andwhisperingceaselesslyintoherear）——，\"IfI
werefree，Maxwouldmarryme；Iknowhewould：——hesaidsoyesterday！\"
***
Asifbyakindofintuition，oldWoodseemedtoreadallthiswoman’sthoughts；forhesaidthatdaywithasneer，thathewouldwagershewasthinkinghowmuchbetteritwouldbetobeaCount’sladythanapoormiser’swife。\"Andfaith，\"saidhe，\"aCountandachariot—and—sixisbetterthananoldskinflintwithacudgel。\"Andthenheaskedherifherheadwasbetter，andsupposedthatshewasusedtobeating；andcutsundryotherjokes，whichmadethepoorwretch’swoundsofmindandbodyfeelathousandtimessorer。
Tom，too，wasmadeacquaintedwiththedispute，andsworehisaccustomedvengeanceagainsthisstepfather。Suchfeelings，Wood，withadexterousmalice，wouldneverletrest；itwashisjoy，atfirstquiteadisinterestedone，togoadCatherineandtofrightenHayes：though，intruth，thatunfortunatecreaturehadnooccasionforincitementsfromwithouttokeepupthedreadfulstateofterroranddepressionintowhichhehadfallen。
For，fromthemorningafterthequarrel，thehorriblewordsandlooksofCatherineneverleftHayes’smemory；butacoldfearfollowedhim——adreadfulprescience。Hestrovetoovercomethisfateasacowardwould——tokneeltoitforcompassion——tocoaxandwheedleitintoforgiveness。HewasslavishlygentletoCatherine，andboreherfiercetauntswithmeanresignation。HetrembledbeforeyoungBillings，whowasnowestablishedinthehouse（hismothersaid，toprotectheragainsttheviolenceofherhusband），andsufferedhisbrutallanguageandconductwithoutventuringtoresist。
Theyoungmanandhismotherlordedoverthehouse：Hayeshardlydaredtospeakintheirpresence；seldomsatwiththefamilyexceptatmeals；butslippedawaytohischamber（hesleptapartnowfromhiswife）orpassedtheeveningatthepublic—house，wherehewasconstrainedtodrink——tospendsomeofhisbelovedsixpencesfordrink！
And，ofcourse，theneighboursbegantosay，\"JohnHayesneglectshiswife。\"\"Hetyrannisesoverher，andbeatsher。\"\"Alwaysatthepublic—house，leavinganhonestwomanaloneathome！\"
TheunfortunatewretchdidNOThatehiswife。Hewasusedtoher——fondofherasmuchashecouldbefond——sighedtobefriendswithheragain——repeatedlywouldcreep，whimpering，toWood’sroom，whenthelatterwasalone，andbeggedhimtobringaboutareconciliation。TheyWEREreconciled，asmuchasevertheycouldbe。Thewomanlookedathim，thoughtwhatshemightbebutforhim，andscornedandloathedhimwithafeelingthatalmostamountedtoinsanity。Whatnightsshelayawake，weeping，andcursingherselfandhim！Hishumilityandbeseechinglooksonlymadehimmoredespicableandhatefultoher。
IfHayesdidnothatethemother，however，hehatedtheboy——hatedandfearedhimdreadfully。Hewouldhavepoisonedhimifhehadhadthecourage；buthedarednot：hedarednotevenlookathimashesatthere，themasterofthehouse，ininsolenttriumph。OGod！howthelad’sbrutallaughterrunginHayes’sears；andhowthestareofhisfierceboldblackeyespursuedhim！Ofatruth，ifMr。Woodlovedmischief，ashedid，honestlyandpurelyformischief’ssake，hehadenoughhere。Therewasmeanmalice，andfiercescorn，andblackrevenge，andsinfuldesire，boilingupintheheartsofthesewretchedpeople，enoughtocontentMr。Wood’sgreatmasterhimself。
Hayes’sbusiness，aswehavesaid，wasnominallythatofacarpenter；butsince，forthelastfewyears，hehadaddedtoitthatofalenderofmoney，thecarpenter’stradehadbeenneglectedaltogetherforonesomuchmoreprofitable。Mrs。Hayeshadexertedherself，withmuchbenefittoherhusband，inhisusuriousbusiness。
Shewasaresolute，clear—sighted，keenwoman，thatdidnotlovemoney，butlovedtoberichandpushherwayintheworld。Shewouldhavenothingtodowiththetradenow，however，andtoldherhusbandtomanageithimself。Shefeltthatshewasseparatedfromhimforever，andcouldnomorebebroughttoconsiderherinterestsasconnectedwithhisown。
Themanwaswellfittedforthecreepingandnigglingofhisdastardlytrade；andgatheredhismoneys，andbusiedhimselfwithhislawyer，andactedashisownbookkeeperandclerk，notwithoutsatisfaction。Hiswife’sspeculations，whentheyworkedinconcert，usedoftentofrightenhim。Heneversentouthiscapitalwithoutapang，andonlybecausehedarednotquestionhersuperiorjudgmentandwill。Hebegannowtolendnomore：hecouldnotletthemoneyoutofhissight。Hissolepleasurewastocreepupintohisroom，andcountandrecountit。WhenBillingscameintothehouse，HayeshadtakenaroomnexttothatofWood。Itwasaprotectiontohim；
forWoodwouldoftenrebuketheladforusingHayesill：andbothCatherineandTomtreatedtheoldmanwithdeference。
Atlast——itwasafterhehadcollectedagooddealofhismoney——
Hayesbegantoreasonwithhimself，\"WhyshouldIstay？——staytobeinsultedbythatboy，ormurderedbyhim？Heisreadyforanycrime。\"Hedeterminedtofly。HewouldsendCatherinemoneyeveryyear。No——shehadthefurniture；letherletlodgings——thatwouldsupporther。Hewouldgo，andliveaway，abroadinsomecheapplace——awayfromthatboyandhishorriblethreats。Theideaoffreedomwasagreeabletothepoorwretch；andhebegantowinduphisaffairsasquicklyashecould。
Hayeswouldnowallownoonetomakehisbedorenterhisroom；andWoodcouldhearhimthroughthepanelsfidgetingperpetuallytoandfro，openingandshuttingofchests，andclinkingofcoin。Attheleastsoundhewouldstartup，andwouldgotoBillings’sdoorandlisten。Woodusedtohearhimcreepingthroughthepassages，andreturningstealthilytohisownchamber。
Onedaythewomanandhersonhadbeenangrilytauntinghiminthepresenceofaneighbour。Theneighbourretiredsoon；andHayes，whohadgonewithhimtothedoor，heard，onreturning，thevoiceofWoodintheparlour。Theoldmanlaughedinhisusualsaturnineway，andsaid，\"Haveacare，Mrs。Cat；forifHayesweretodiesuddenly，bythelaws，theneighbourswouldaccusetheeofhisdeath。\"
Hayesstartedasifhehadbeenshot。\"Hetooisintheplot，\"
thoughthe。\"Theyareallleaguedagainstme：theyWILLkillme：
theyareonlybidingtheirtime。\"Fearseizedhim，andhethoughtofflyingthatinstantandleavingall；andhestoleintohisroomandgatheredhismoneytogether。Butonlyahalfofitwasthere：
inafewweeksallwouldhavecomein。Hehadnotthehearttogo。
ButthatnightWoodheardHayespauseatHISdoor，beforehewenttolistenatMrs。Catherine’s。\"Whatisthemanthinkingof？\"saidWood。\"Heisgatheringhismoneytogether。Hasheahoardyonderunknowntousall？\"
Woodthoughthewouldwatchhim。Therewasaclosetbetweenthetworooms：Woodboredaholeinthepanel，andpeepedthrough。Hayeshadabraceofpistols，andfourorfivelittlebagsbeforehimonthetable。Oneoftheseheopened，andplaced，onebyone，five—and—twentyguineasintoit。Suchasumhadbeenduethatday——Catherinespokeofitonlyinthemorning；forthedebtor’snamehadbychancebeenmentionedintheconversation。Hayescommonlykeptbutafewguineasinthehouse。Forwhatwasheamassingallthese？Thenextday，Woodaskedforchangeforatwenty—poundbill。Hayessaidhehadbutthreeguineas。And，whenaskedbyCatherinewherethemoneywasthatwaspaidthedaybefore，saidthatitwasatthebanker’s。\"Themanisgoingtofly，\"saidWood；\"thatissure：ifhedoes，Iknowhim——hewillleavehiswifewithoutashilling。\"
Hewatchedhimforseveraldaysregularly：twoorthreemorebagswereaddedtotheformernumber。\"Theyareprettythings，guineas，\"
thoughtWood，\"andtellnotales，likebank—bills。\"AndhethoughtoverthedayswhenheandMacshaneusedtorideabroadinsearchofthem。
Idon’tknowwhatthoughtsenteredintoMr。Wood’sbrain；butthenextday，afterseeingyoungBillings，towhomheactuallymadeapresentofaguinea，thatyoungman，inconversingwithhismother，said，\"Doyouknow，mother，thatifyouwerefree，andmarriedtheCount，Ishouldbealord？It’stheGermanlaw，Mr。Woodsays；andyouknowhewasinthemcountrieswithMarlborough。\"
\"Ay，thathewould，\"saidMr。Wood，\"inGermany：butGermanyisn’tEngland；andit’snousetalkingofsuchthings。\"
\"Hush，child！\"saidMrs。Hayes，quiteeagerly：\"howcan_I_marrytheCount？Besides，a’n’tImarried，andisn’thetoogreatalordforme？\"
\"Toogreatalord？——notawhit，mother。Ifitwasn’tforHayes，I
mightbealordnow。Hegavemefiveguineasonlylastweek；butcursetheskinflintwhoneverwillpartwithashilling。\"
\"It’snotsobadashisstrikingyourmother，Tom。Ihadmystickup，andwasreadytofellhimt’othernight，\"addedMr。Wood。Andherewithhesmiled，andlookedsteadilyinMrs。Catherine’sface。
Shedarednotlookagain；butshefeltthattheoldmanknewasecretthatshehadbeentryingtohidefromherself。Fool！heknewit；andHayesknewitdimly：andnever，never，sincethatdayofthegala，haditlefther，sleepingorwaking。WhenHayes，inhisfear，hadproposedtosleepawayfromher，shestartedwithjoy：
shehadbeenafraidthatshemighttalkinhersleep，andsoletslipherhorribleconfession。
OldWoodknewallherhistorysincetheperiodoftheMarylebonefete。Hehadwormeditoutofher，daybyday；hehadcounselledherhowtoact；warnedhernottoyield；toprocure，atleast，acertainprovisionforherson，andahandsomesettlementforherself，ifshedeterminedonquittingherhusband。Theoldmanlookedonthebusinessinaproperphilosophicallight，toldherbluntlythathesawshewasbentupongoingoffwiththeCount，andbadehertakeprecautions：elseshemightbeleftasshehadbeenbefore。
Catherinedeniedallthesecharges；butshesawtheCountdaily，notwithstanding，andtookallthemeasureswhichWoodhadrecommendedtoher。Theywereveryprudentones。Galgensteingrewhourlymoreinlove：neverhadhefeltsuchaflame；notinthebestdaysofhisyouth；notforthefairestprincess，countess，oractress，fromViennatoParis。
Atlength——itwasthenightafterhehadseenHayescountinghismoney—bags——oldWoodspoketoMrs。Hayesveryseriously。\"Thathusbandofyours，Cat，\"saidhe，\"meditatessometreason；ay，andfanciesweareaboutsuch。Helistensnightlyatyourdoorandatmine：heisgoingtoleaveyou，besureon’t；andifheleavesyou，heleavesyoutostarve。\"
\"Icanberichelsewhere，\"saidMrs。Cat。
\"What，withMax？\"
\"Ay，withMax：andwhynot？\"saidMrs。Hayes。
\"Whynot，fool！DoyourecollectBirmingham？DoyouthinkthatGalgenstein，whoissotendernowbecauseheHASN’Twonyou，willbefaithfulbecauseheHAS？Psha，woman，menarenotmadeso！Don’tgotohimuntilyouaresure：ifyouwereawidownow，hewouldmarryyou；butneverleaveyourselfathismercy：ifyouweretoleaveyourhusbandtogotohim，hewoulddesertyouinafortnight！\"
ShemighthavebeenaCountess！sheknewshemight，butforthiscursedbarrierbetweenherandherfortune。Woodknewwhatshewasthinkingof，andsmiledgrimly。
