第5章

类别:其他 作者:Jerome K.Jerome字数:22130更新时间:19/01/07 08:50:30
Hersympathieswerechieflywiththecow。ItoldherIhadhopesofRobina’sdevelopingintoasensiblewoman。WetalkedquiteadealaboutRobina。Weagreedthatbetweenuswehadaccomplishedsomethingratherclever。 \"ImustgetbackassoonasIcan,\"Isaid。\"Idon’twantyoungButegettingwrongideasintohishead。\" \"WhoisyoungBute?\"sheasked。 \"Thearchitect,\"Iexplained。 \"Ithoughthewasanoldman,\"saidEthelbertha。 \"OldSpreightisoldenough,\"Isaid。\"YoungButeisoneofhisyoungmen;butheunderstandshiswork,andseemsintelligent。\" \"What’shelike?\"sheasked。 \"Personally,anexceedinglyniceyoungfellow。There’sagooddealofsenseinhim。Ilikeaboywholistens。\" \"Good—looking?\"sheasked。 \"Notobjectionablyso,\"Ireplied。\"Apleasantface——particularlywhenhesmiles。\" \"Ishemarried?\"sheasked。 \"Really,itdidnotoccurtometoaskhim,\"Iadmitted。\"Howcuriousyouwomenare!No,Idon’tthinkso。Ishouldsaynot。\" \"Whydon’tyouthinkso?\"shedemanded。 \"Oh,Idon’tknow。Hedoesn’tgiveyoutheideaofamarriedman。 You’lllikehim。Seemssofondofhissister。\" \"Shallwebeseeingmuchofhim?\"sheasked。 \"Agoodishdeal,\"Ianswered。\"IexpecthewillbegoingdownonMonday。Veryannoying,thisstovebusiness。\" \"Whatistheuseofhisbeingtherewithoutyou?\"Ethelberthawantedtoknow。 \"Oh,he’llpotterround,\"Isuggested,\"andtakemeasurements。Dickwillbeabouttoexplainthingstohim。Or,ifheisn’t,there’sRobina——awkwardthingis,Robinaseemstohavetakenadisliketohim。\" \"Whyhasshetakenadisliketohim?\"askedEthelbertha。 \"Oh,becausehemistookthebackofthehouseforthefront,orthefrontofthehousefortheback,\"Iexplained;\"Iforgetwhichnow。 Saysit’shissmilethatirritatesher。Sheownsherselfthere’snorealreason。\" \"Whenwillyoubegoingdownagain?\"Ethelberthaasked。 \"OnThursdaynext,\"Itoldher;\"stoveornostove。\" Shesaidshewouldcomewithme。Shefeltthechangewoulddohergood,andpromisednottodoanythingwhenshegotthere。AndthenI toldherallthatIhaddoneforDick。 \"Theordinaryfarmer,\"Ipointedouttoher,\"issooftenahaphazardtypeofmanwithnoideas。Ifsuccessful,itisbyreasonofanaturalinstinctwhichcannotbetaught。St。Leonardhasstudiedthetheoryofthething。FromhimDickwilllearnallthatcanbelearntaboutfarming。Theselection,Ifelt,demandedcarefuljudgment。\" \"ButwillDicksticktoit?\"Ethelberthawondered。 \"There,again,\"Ipointedouttoher,\"thechoicewasonecallingforexceptionalforesight。Theoldman——asamatteroffact,heisn’toldatall;can’tbeverymucholderthanmyself;Idon’tknowwhytheyallcallhimtheoldman——hasformedahighopinionofDick。 Hisdaughtertoldmeso,andIhavetakencaretoletDickknowit。 Theboywillnotcaretodisappointhim。Hermother——\" \"Whosemother?\"interruptedEthelbertha。 \"Janie’smother,Mrs。St。Leonard,\"Iexplained。\"Shealsohasformedagoodopinionofhim。Thechildrenlikehim。Janietoldmeso。\" \"Sheseemstodoagoodishdealoftalking,thisMissJanie,\" remarkedEthelbertha。 \"Youwilllikeher,\"Isaid。\"Sheisacharminggirl——sosensible,andgood,andunselfish,and——\" \"Whotoldyouallthisabouther?\"interruptedEthelbertha。 \"Youcanseeitforyourself,\"Ianswered。\"Themotherappearstobeanonentity,andSt。Leonardhimself——well,heisnotabusinessman。 ItisJaniewhomanageseverything——keepseverythinggoing。\" \"Whatisshelike?\"askedEthelbertha。 \"Iamtellingyou,\"Isaid。\"Sheissopractical,andyetatthesametime——\" \"Inappearance,Imean,\"explainedEthelbertha。 \"Howyouwomen,\"Isaid,\"doworryaboutmerelooks!Whatdoesitmatter?Ifyouwanttoknow,itisthatsortoffacethatgrowsuponyou。Atfirstyoudonotnoticehowbeautifulitis,butwhenyoucometolookintoit——\" \"AndhasshealsoformedahighopinionofDick?\"interruptedEthelbertha。 \"Shewillbedisappointedinhim,\"Isaid,\"ifhedoesnotworkhardandsticktoit。Theywillallbedisappointedinhim。\" \"What’sitgottodowiththem?\"demandedEthelbertha。 \"I’mnotthinkingaboutthem,\"Isaid。\"WhatIlookatis——\" \"Idon’tlikeher,\"saidEthelbertha。\"Idon’tlikeanyofthem。\" \"But——\"Shedidn’tseemtobelistening。 \"Iknowthatclassofman,\"shesaid;\"andthewifeappears,ifanything,tobeworse。Asforthegirl——\" \"Whenyoucometoknowthem——\"Isaid。 Shesaidshedidn’twanttoknowthem。ShewantedtogodownonMonday,early。 Igothertosee——ittooksomelittletime——thedisadvantagesofthis。WeshouldonlybeaddingtoRobina’stroubles;andchangeofplannowwouldunsettleDick’smind。 \"Hehaspromisedtowriteme,\"Isaid,\"andtellmetheresultofhisfirstday’sexperience。Letuswaitandhearwhathesays。\" Shesaidthatwhatevercouldhavepossessedhertoletmetakethosepoorunfortunatechildrenawayfromher,andmuddleupeverythingwithouther,wasamysterytoherself。Shehopedthat,atleast,I haddonenothingirrevocableinthecaseofVeronica。 \"Veronica,\"Isaid,\"isreallywishful,Ithink,toimprove。Ihaveboughtheradonkey。\" \"Awhat?\"exclaimedEthelbertha。 \"Adonkey,\"Irepeated。\"Thechildtookafancytoit,andweallagreeditmighthelptosteadyher——giveherasenseofresponsibility。\" \"Isomehowfeltyouhadn’toverlookedVeronica,\"saidEthelbertha。 Ithoughtitbesttochangetheconversation。Sheseemedinafretfulmood。 CHAPTERVIII Robina’sletterwasdatedMondayevening,andreachedusTuesdaymorning。 \"Ihopeyoucaughtyourtrain,\"shewrote。\"Veronicadidnotgetbacktillhalf—pastsix。Sheinformedmethatyouandshehadfoundagooddealtotalkabout,andthat’onethinghadledtoanother。’ Sheisaquaintyoungimp,butIthinkyourlecturemusthavedonehergood。Herpresentattitudeisthatofgentleforbearancetoallaroundher——notwithoutitsdignity。Shehasnotsnortedonce,andattimesisreallyhelpful。Ihavegivenheranemptyscribblingdiarywefoundinyourdesk,andmostofhersparetimesheremainsshutupwithitinthebedroom。Shetellsmeyouandshearewritingabooktogether。Iaskedherwhatabout。ShewavedmeasidewiththeassurancethatIwouldknow’allingoodtime,’andthatitwasgoingtodogood。Icaughtsightofjustthetitle—pagelastnight。 Itwaslyingopenonthedressing—table:’WhytheManintheMoonlookssatupon。’Itsoundslikeatitleofyours。ButIwouldnotlookfurther,thoughtempted。Shehasdrawnapictureunderneath。 Itisreallynotbad。Theoldgentlemanreallydoeslooksatupon,andintenselydisgusted。 \"’SirRobert’——hisnamebeingTheodore,whichdoesn’tseemtosuithim——turnsouttobetheonlysonofawidow,aMrs。Foy,ournext— doorneighbourtothesouth。WemethercomingoutofchurchonSundaymorning。Shewasstillcrying。DicktookVeronicaonahead,andIwalkedpartofthewayhomewiththem。Hergrandfather,itappears,waskilledmanyyearsagobytheburstingofaboiler;andsheishaunted,poorlady,bytheconvictionthatTheodoreistheinheritorofanhereditarytendencytogettinghimselfblownup。Sheattachesnoblametous,seeinginSaturday’scatastropheonlythehandoftheFamilyCurse。ItriedtocomfortherwiththeideathattheCursehavingspentitselfuponafutileeffort,nothingfurtherneednowbefearedfromit;butshepersistsintakingthegloomierviewthatinwreckingourkitchen,Theodore’s’Doom,’asshecallsit,wasmerelyindulginginasortofdressrehearsal;thefinishingperformancemaybereliedupontofollow。Itsoundsridiculous,butthepoorwomanwassodesperatelyinearnestthatwhenanunluckyurchin,comingoutofacottagewewerepassing,trippedonthedoorstepandletfallajug,webothscreamedatthesametime,andwereequallysurprisedtofind’SirRobert’stillbetweenusandallinonepiece。Ithoughtitfoolishtodiscussallthisbeforethechildhimself;butdidnotliketostopher。Asaresult,heregardshimselfevidentlyasthechosenfoeofHeaven,andisnot,unnaturally,proudofhimself。Shecalledherethis(Monday) afternoontoleavecards;and,atherrequest,Ishowedherthekitchenandthematoverwhichhehadstumbled。Sheseemedsurprisedthatthe’Doom’hadletslipsofavourableachanceofaccomplishingitsbusiness,andgatheredfromthefactaddedcauseforanxiety。 EvidentlysomethingmuchmorethoroughisinstoreforMasterTheodore。Itwasonlyhalfapoundofgunpowder,shetoldme。 DoctorSmallboy’sgardenerhadboughtitforthepurposeofraisingthestumpofanoldelm—tree,andhadleftitforamomentonthegrasswhilehehadreturnedtothehouseformorebrownpaper。Sheseemedpleasedwiththegardener,who,asshesaid,might,ifdishonestlyinclined,havechargedherforapound。Iwantedtopayfor——atallevents——ourshare,butshewouldnottakeapenny。Herlatelamentedgrandfathersheregardsasthepersonresponsiblefortheentireincident,andperhapsitmaybeaswellnottodisturbherview。HadIsuggestedit,Ifeelsureshewouldhaveseenthejusticeofherprovidinguswithanewkitchenrange。 \"Wildlyexaggeratedaccountsoftheaffairareflyingroundtheneighbourhood;andmychieffearisthatVeronicamaydiscoversheisalocalcelebrity。Yoursuddendisappearanceissupposedtohavebeenheavenward。Anoldfarmlabourerwhosawyoupassonyourwaytothestationspeaksofyouas’theghostofthepoorgentlemanhimself;’andfragmentsofclothingfoundanywherewithinaradiusoftwomilesarebeingpreserved,Iamtold,asspecimensofyourremains。Bootswouldappeartohavebeenyourchiefapparel。Sevenpairshavealreadybeencollectedfromthesurroundingditches。 Amongthemorepublic—spiritedthereistalkofusingyoutostartalocalmuseum。\" ThesefirstthreeparagraphsIdidnotreadtoEthelbertha。 Fortunatelytheyjustfilledthefirstsheet,whichItookanopportunityofslippingintomypocketunobserved。 \"ThenewboyarrivedonSundaymorning,\"shecontinued。\"Hisname—— ifIhavegotitright——isWilliam。Anyhow,thatisthenearestI cangettoit。Hisothername,ifany,Imustleaveyoutoextractfromhimyourself。ItmaybeBerkshirethathetalks,butitsoundsmorelikebarking。Pleaseexcusethepun;butIhavejustbeentalkingtohimforhalfanhour,tryingtomakehimunderstandthatI wanthimtogohome,andmaybe,asaresult,Iamfeelingalittlehysterical。AnythingmoreruralIcannotimagine。Butheisanxioustolearn,andafairlywidefieldisinfrontofhim。IcaughthimafterourbreakfastonSundaycalmlythrowingeverythingleftoverontothedust—heap。Ipointedouttohimthewickednessofwastingnourishingfood,andimpresseduponhimthattheproperplaceforvictualswasinsideus。Heneveranswers。Hestandsstockstill,withhismouthaswideopenasitwillgo——whichissayingagooddeal——andonetruststhatone’swordsareenteringintohim。AllSundayafternoonhewasstrugglingvaliantlyagainstanalmostsupernaturalsleepiness。Afterteahegotworse,andIbegantothinkhewouldbenousetome。Wenoneofusatemuchsupper;andDick,whoappearsabletounderstandhim,helpedhimtocarrythethingsout。Iheardthemtalking,andthenDickcamebackandclosedthedoorbehindhim。’Hewantstoknow,’saidDick,’ifhecanleavethecornedbeefovertilltomorrow。Because,ifheeatsitallto— night,hedoesn’tthinkhewillbeabletowalkhome。’ \"Veronicatakesgreatinterestinhim。Shehasevidentlyamotherlysidetohercharacter,forwhichwenoneofushavegivenhercredit。 Shesayssheissurethereisgoodinhim。Shesitsbesidehimwhilehechopswood,andtellshimcarefullyselectedstories,calculated,sheargues,todevelophisintelligence。Sheiscareful,moreover,nottohurthisfeelingsbyanydisplayofsuperiority。’Ofcourse,anyoneleadingausefullife,suchasyours,’Ioverheardhersayingtohimthismorning,’don’tnaturallygetmuchtimeforreading。 I’venothingelsetodo,yousee,’cepttoimprovemyself。’ \"ThedonkeyarrivedthisafternoonwhileIwasout——galloping,Iamgiventounderstand,with’Opkinsonhisback。Thereseemstobesomesecretbetweenthosetwo。Wehavetriedhimwithhay,andwehavetriedhimwiththistles;butheseemstopreferbread—and— butter。Ihavenotbeenableasyettofindoutwhetherhetakesteaorcoffeeinthemorning。Butheisananimalthatevidentlyknowshisownmind,andfortunatelybothareinthehouse。Weareputtinghimupforto—nightwiththecow,whogreetedhimatfirstwithenthusiasmandwantedtoadopthim,buthasgrowncoldtohimsinceondiscoveringthatheisnotacalf。Ihavebeentryingtomakefriendswithher,butsheissoveryunresponsive。Shedoesn’tseemtowantanythingbutgrass,andpreferstogetthatforherself。Shedoesn’tseemtowanttobehappyeveragain。 \"Afunnythinghappenedinchurch。Iwasforgettingtotellyou。 TheSt。Leonardsoccupytwopewsattheoppositeendfromthedoor。 Theywerealltherewhenwearrived,withtheexceptionoftheoldgentlemanhimself。Hecameinjustbeforethe’DearlyBeloved,’wheneverybodywasstandingup。Arunningfireofsuppressedtittersfollowedhimuptheaisle,andsomeofthepeoplelaughedoutright。 Icouldseenoreasonwhy。Helookedadignifiedoldgentlemaninhisgreyhairandtightlybuttonedfrockcoat,whichgiveshimasomewhatmilitaryappearance。ButwhenhecamelevelwithourpewI understood。Hurryingbackfromhismorninground,andwithnoonetheretosuperintendhim,thedearoldabsent—mindedthinghadforgottentochangehisbreeches。FromalittleabovethekneeupwardhewasaperfectChristian;buthislegswerejustthoseofadisreputablesinner。 \"’What’sthejoke?’hewhisperedtomeashepassed——Iwasinthecornerseat。’HaveImissedit?’ \"Wecalledroundonthemafterlunch,andatonceIwasappealedtoformydecision。 \"’Now,here’saplainsensiblegirl,’exclaimedtheoldgentlemanthemomentIenteredtheroom。’(YouwillnoticeIputnocommaafter’plain。’Iamtakingithedidnotintendone。Youcanemployoneadjectivetoqualifyanother,can’tyou?)’AndIwillputittoher,WhatdifferencecanitmaketotheAlmightywhetherIgotochurchintrousersorinbreeches?’ \"’Idonotsee,’retortedMrs。St。Leonardsomewhatcoldly,’thatMissRobinaisinanybetterpositionthanmyselftospeakwithauthorityontheviewsoftheAlmighty’——whichIfeltwastrue。’IfitmakesnodifferencetotheAlmighty,thenwhynot,formysake,trousers?’ \"’Theessentialthing,’hepersisted,’isacontriteheart。’Hewasgettingverycross。 \"’Itmayjustaswellbedressedrespectably,’washiswife’sopinion。Helefttheroom,slammingthedoor。 \"IdolikeJaniethemoreandmoreIseeofher。Idohopeshewillletmegetrealchumswithher。Shedoesmesomuchgood。(IreadthatbittwiceovertoEthelbertha,pretendingIhadlosttheplace。) Isupposeitishavingratherasillymotherandanunpracticalfatherthathasmadehersocapable。IfyouandLittleMotherhadbeenpropersortofparentsImighthavebeenquiteadecentsortofgirl。Butit’stoolatefindingfaultwithyounow。IsupposeI mustputupwithyou。Sheworkssohard,andissounselfish。Butsheisnotlikesomegoodpeople,whomakeyoufeelitishopelessyourtryingtobegood。Shegetscrossandimpatient;andthenshelaughsatherself,andgetsrightagainthatway。PoorMrs。St。 Leonard!Icannothelpfeelingsorryforher。ShewouldhavebeensohappyasthewifeofareallyrespectableCityman,whowouldhavegoneoffeverymorningwithaflowerinhisbuttonholeandhavewornawhitewaistcoatonSundays。Idon’tbelievewhattheysay:thathusbandsandwivesshouldbetheoppositeofoneanother。Mr。St。 Leonardoughttohavemarriedabrainywoman,whowouldhavediscussedphilosophywithhim,andhavebeenjustashappydrinkingbeeroutofatea—cup:youknowthesortImean。IfeverImarryitwillbeashort—temperedmanwholovesmusicandisagooddancer; andifIfindouttoolatethathe’scleverI’llrunawayfromhim。 \"Dickhasnotyetcomehome——nearlyeighto’clock。Veronicaissupposedtobeinbed,butIcanhearthingsfalling。Poorboy!I expecthe’llbetired;buttodayisanexception。ThreehundredsheephavehadtobebroughtallthewayfromIlsley,andmustbe’herded’——Ifancyitiscalled——beforeanybodycanthinkofsupper。 Isawtoitthathehadagooddinner。 \"Andnowtocometobusiness。YoungButehasbeenhereallday,andhasonlyjustleft。HeiscomingdownagainonFriday——which,bytheway,don’tforgetisMrs。St。Leonard’s’AtHome’day。Shehopesshemaythenhavethepleasureofmakingyouracquaintance,andthinksthatpossiblytheremaybepresentoneortwopeoplewemayliketoknow。FromwhichIgatherthathalftheneighbourhoodhasbeenspeciallyinvitedtomeetyou。Somindyoubringafrock—coat;andifLittleMothercanputherhandeasilyonmypinkmuslinwiththespots——itiseitherinmywardrobeorelseinthebottomdrawerinVeronica’sroom,ifitisn’tinthecardboardboxunderneathmother’sbed——youmightslipitintoyourbag。Butwhateveryoudodon’tcrushit。ThesashIfeelsuremotherputawaysomewhereherself。 Heseesnoreason——I’mtalkingnowaboutyoungBute,——ifyouapprovehisplans,whyworkshouldnotbecommencedimmediately。ShallI writeoldSleetomeetyouatthehouseonFriday?FromallaccountsIdon’tthinkyou’lldobetter。Heisonthespot,andtheysayheismostreasonable。Butyouhavetogetestimates,don’tyou?Hesuggests——Mr。Bute,Imean——throwingwhatusedtobethedairyintothepassage,whichwillmakeahallbigenoughforanything。Wemightevengiveadanceinit,hethinks。ButallthisyouwillbeabletodiscusswithhimonFriday。Hehasevidentlytakenagreatdealofpains,andsomeofhissuggestionssoundsensible。Butofcoursehemustfullyunderstandthatitiswhatwewant,notwhathethinks,thatisimportant。ItoldhimyousaidIcouldhavemyroomexactlyasIlikeditmyself;andIhaveexplainedtohimmyideas。 HeseemedatfirsttobeundertheimpressionthatIdidn’tknowwhatIwastalkingabout,soImadeitquitecleartohimthatIdid,withtheresultthathehasconsentedtocarryoutmyinstructions,onconditionthatIputthemdowninblackandwhite——whichIthinkjustaswell,asthentherecanbenoexcuseafterwardsforargument。I likehimbetterthanIdidthefirsttime。Abouteverythingelsehecanbefairlyamiable。Itiswhenhetalksabout’frontalelevations’and’groundplans’thatheirritatesme。TellLittleMotherthatI’llwriteherto—morrow。Couldn’tshecomedownwithyouonFriday?Everythingwillbeship—shapebythen;and——\" Theremainderwasofanaturemoreprivate。Sheconcludedwithapostscript,whichalsoIdidnotreadtoEthelbertha。 \"ThoughtIhadfinishedtellingyoueverything,whenquiteastylishrat—tatsoundedonthedoor。IplacedanoldstrawhatofDick’sinaprominentposition,calledloudlytoanimaginary’John’nottogowithouttheletters,andthenopenedit。Heturnedouttobethelocalreporter。Ineednothavebeenalarmed。Hewasmuchthemorenervousofthetwo,andwassofullofexcusesthathadInotcometohisrescueIbelievehewouldhavegoneawayforgettingwhathe’dcomefor。NothingsaveanoverwhelmingsenseofdutytothePublic(withacapitalP)couldhaveinducedhimtoinflicthimselfuponme。 CouldIgivehimafewdetailswhichwouldenablehimtosetrumourright?Iimmediatelysawvisionsofheadlines:’DomesticTragedy!’ ’EminentAuthorblownupbyhisownDaughter!’’OnceHappyHomenowaMereWreck!’Itseemedtomeouronlyplanwastoenlistthisamiableyoungmanuponourside;IhopeIdidnotoverdoit。Myideawastoconveytheimpressionthatoneglanceathimhadconvincedmehewasthebestandnoblestofmankind;thatIfeltIcouldrelyuponhiswitandcouragetosaveusfromanotorietythat,sofarasIwasconcerned,wouldsaddenmywholelife;andthatifhedidsoeternalgratitudeandadmirationwouldbetheleastIcouldlayathisfeet。 IcanbenicewhenItry。Peoplehavesaidso。Wepartedwithonlyapressureofthehand,andIhopehewon’tgetintotrouble,butI seeTheBerkshireCourierisgoingtobedeprivedofitsprey。Dickhasjustcomein。Hepromisestotalkwhenhehasfinishedeating。\" Dick’sletter,forwhichEthelberthaseemedtobestrangelyimpatient,reachedusonWednesdaymorning。 \"Ifeveryouwanttofindout,Dad,whathardworkreallymeans,youtryfarming,\"wroteDick;\"andyetIbelieveyouwouldlikeit。 Hasn’tsomeoldJohnnysomewheredescribeditasthepoetryoftheploughshare?Whydidweevertaketobotheringaboutanythingelse—— shuttingourselvesupinstuffyoffices,worryingourselvestodeathaboutalotofrubbishthatisn’tanygoodtoanybody?IwishI couldputitproperly,Dad;youwouldseejustwhatImean。Whydon’tweliveinsimply—builthousesandgetmosteverythingwewantoutoftheland:whichweeasilycould?Youtakeadozenpoordevilsawayfromwalkingbehindtheploughandputthemdownintocoal—mines,andsetthemrunningabouthalf—nakedamongalotofroaringfurnaces,andbetweenthemtheyturnoutamachinethatdoestheploughingforthem。Whatisthesenseofit?Ofcoursesomethingsareuseful。Iwouldlikeamotor—car,andrailwaysandsteamboatsareallright;butitseemstomethathalfthefiddle— faddleswefancywewantwe’dbejustaswell,ifnotbetter,without,andtherewouldbeallthattimeandenergytospareforthesortofthingsthateverybodyoughttohave。It’severywherejustlikeitwasatschool。Theykeptussohardatit,studyingGreekroots,wehadn’ttimetolearnEnglishgrammar。LookatyoungDennisYewbury。He’sgottwothousandacresupinScotland。Hecouldleadajollylifeturningtheplaceintosomerealuse。Insteadofwhichheletsitallruntowastefornothingbuttobreedafewhundredbirdsthatwouldn’tkeepasinglefamilyalive;whileheworksfrommorningtillnightathumbuggingpeopleinabeastlyholeintheCity,justtofillhishousewithahostofsillygim—cracksanddressuphimselfandhiswomen—folklikepeacocks。Ofcoursewewouldalwayswantcleverchapslikeyoutotellusstories;anddoctorswecouldn’tdowithout,thoughIguessifwewereleadingsensibleliveswe’dbeabletogetalongwithabouthalfofthem。Itseemstomethatwhatwewantisacomfortablehome,enoughtoeatanddrink,andafewfal—lalsortofthingstomakethegirlslookpretty;andthatalltherestisrot。Wewouldallofushavetimethentothinkandplayabit,andifwewereallworkingfairlyatsomethingreallyusefulandwerecontentedwithourownshare,there’dbeenoughforeverybody。 \"Isupposethisisallnonsense,butIwishitwasn’t。Anyway,it’swhatImeantodomyself;andI’mawfullymuchobligedtoyou,Dad,forgivingmethischance。You’vehittherightnailontheheadthistime。FarmingwaswhatIwasmeantfor;Ifeelit。Iwouldhavehatedbeingabarrister,settingpeoplebytheearsandmakingmylivingoutofotherpeople’stroubles。Beingafarmeryoufeelthatindoinggoodtoyourselfyouaredoinggoodallround。MissJanieagreeswithallIsay。IthinksheisoneofthemostsensiblegirlsIhaveevercomeacross,andRobinlikesherawfully。Soistheoldman:he’sabrick。Ithinkhehastakenalikingtome,andIknowIhavetohim。He’sthedearestoldfellowimaginable。Theveryturnipsheseemstothinkofasthoughtheyweresomanyrowsoflittlechildren。Andhemakesyouseetheinsideofthings。Takefieldsnow,forinstance。Iusedtothinkafieldwasjustafield。 Youscrapeditaboutandplanteditwithseeds,andeverythingelsedependedontheweather。Why,Dad,it’salive!Therearegoodfieldsthatwanttogeton——thataregratefulforeverythingyoudoforthem,andtakeaprideinthemselves。Andtherearebrutesoffieldsthatyoufeelyouwanttokick。Youcanwasteahundredpounds’worthofmanureonthem,anditonlymakesthemmorestupidthantheywerebefore。Oneofourfields——awizened—lookingeleven— acrestripborderingtheFyfieldroad——hehaschristenedMrs。 Gummidge:itseemstofeeleverythingmorethananyotherfield。 Fromwhateverpointofthecompassthewindblowsthatfieldgetsthemostharmfromit。Youwouldthinktolookatitafterastormthattherehadn’tbeenanyraininanyotherfield——thatthat’particularfieldmusthavegotitall;whiletwodays’sunshinehastheeffectuponitthatasixweeks’droughtwouldonanyotherfield。Histheory(hemusthaveatheorytoaccountforeverything;itcomfortshim。Hehasjusthituponatheorythatexplainswhytwinsarebornwithtwiceasmuchoriginalsinasotherchildren,anddoesn’tseemtomindnowwhattheydo)isthateachoddcorneroftheearthhasgainedacharacterofitsownfromthespiritsofthecountlessdeadmenburiedinitsbosom。’Robbersandthieves,’hewillsay,kickingthesodofsomefieldallstonesandthistles;’sillyfightingmenwhothoughtGodbuilttheworldmerelytogivethemthefunofknockingitabout。Lookatthem,thefools!stonesandthistles—— thistlesandstones:thatistheirnotionofafield。’Or,leaningoverthegateofsomefieldofrich—smellingsoil,hewillstretchouthisarmsasthoughtocaressit:’Bravelads!’hewillsay; ’kindlyhonestfellowswholovedthepoorpeasantfolk。’Ifancyhehasnotgotmuchsenseofhumour;orifhehas,itisahumourheleavesyoutofindoutforyourself。Onedoesnotfeelonewantstolaugh,listeningeventohismostwhimsicalideas;andanyhowitisafactthatoftwofieldsquiteclosetooneanother,onewillbeworthtenpoundsanacreandtheotherdearathalfacrown,andthereseemstobenothingtoexplainit。Wehaveaseven—acrepatchjusthalfwayupthehill。Hesaysheneverpassesitwithouttakingoffhishattoit。Whateveryouputinitdoeswell;whileotherfields,trythemwithwhatyouwill,itisalwaystheverythingtheydidnotwant。Youmightfancythemfractiouschildren,alwayscryingfortheotherchild’sbun。Thereisreallynoreasonforitsbeingsuchagoodfield,exceptitsownpluck。Itfacestheeast,andthewoodforhalfthedayhidesitfromthesun;butitmakesthebestofeverything,andevenonthegreyestdayitseemstobesmilingatyou。’Somehappy—heartedMotherThing——asingeroflovesongsthewhileshetoiled,’hewillhaveit,mustliesleepingthere。By—the— bye,whatajollyfieldJaniewouldmake!Don’tyouthinkso,Dad? \"Whatthedickens,Dad,haveyoudonetoVeronica?Shewandersabouteverywherewithanexercisebookinherhand,andwhenyousayanythingtoher,insteadofansweringyouback,shesitsplumpdownwhereversheisandwritesforallshe’sworth。Shewon’tsaywhatshe’supto。Shesaysit’saprivatematterbetweenyouandher,andthatlateronthingsaregoingtobeseenintheirtruelight。I toldherthismorningwhatIthoughtofherforforgettingtofeedthedonkey。Iwasprepared,ofcourse,forahundredexplanations: First,thatshehadmeanttofeedthedonkey;secondly,thatitwasn’therplacetofeedthedonkey;thirdly,thatthedonkeywouldhavebeenfedifcircumstancesoverwhichshehadnocontrolhadnotarisenrenderingitimpossibleforhertofeedthedonkey;fourthly,thatthemorningwasn’tthepropertimetofeedthedonkey,andsoon。Insteadofwhich,outshewhipsthisridiculousbookandasksmeifIwouldmindsayingitoveragain。 \"IkeepforgettingtoaskJaniewhatitishehasbeenaccustomedto。 Wehavetriedhimwiththistles,andwe’vetriedhimwithhay。Thethistleshescratcheshimselfagainst;butforthehayheappearstohavenousewhatever。Robinthinkshisideaistosaveustrouble。 Wearenottogetinanythingespeciallyforhim——whateverwemayhappentobehavingourselveshewillputupwith。Bread—and—buttercutthick,orasliceofcakewithanappleseemstobehisnotionofalightlunch;andfordrinkhefanciesteaoutofaslop—basin,withtwoknobsofsugarandplentyofmilk。Robinsaysit’swasteoftimetakinghismealsouttohim。Shesayssheisgoingtotrainhimtocomeinwhenhehearsthegong。Weusethealarmclockatpresentforagong。Idon’tknowwhatIshalldowhenthecowgoesaway。 Shewakesmeeverymorningpunctuallyathalf—pastfour,butI’minabluefunkthatoneofthesedaysshewilloversleepherself。Itisoneofthoseclocksyoureadabout。Youwrotesomethingratherfunnyaboutoneonceyourself,butIalwaysthoughtyouhadinventedit。I boughtitbecausetheysaiditwasanextraloudone,andsoitis。 Thethingthat’swrongaboutitisthat,dowhatyouwill,youcan’tgetittogooffbeforesixo’clockinthemorning。IsetitonSundayeveningforhalf—pastfour——wefarmersdohavetowork,Icantellyou。Butit’sworthit。Ihadnoideathattheworldwassobeautiful。Thereisalightyouneverseeatanyothertime,andthewholeairseemstobefullofflutteringsong。Youfeel——butyoumustgetupandcomeoutwithme,Dad。Ican’tdescribeit。Ifithadn’tbeenforthegoodoldcow,LordknowswhattimeI’dhavebeenup。Theclockwentoffathalf—pastfourintheafternoon,justastheyweresittingdowntotea,andfrightenedthemalloutoftheirskins。Wehavefiddledaboutwithitallweknow,butthere’snogettingittodoanythingbetweensixp。m。andsixam。Anythingyouwantofitinthedaytimeitisquiteagreeableto。Butitseemstohavefixeditsownworkinghours,andisn’tgoingtobebustledoutofitsproperrest。IgotsomadwithitmyselfIwantedtopitchitoutofthewindow,butRobinthoughtweoughttokeepittillyoucame,thatperhapsyoumightbeabletodosomethingwithit——writingsomethingaboutit,shemeans。IsaidIthoughtalarmclockswereprettywellplayedoutbythistime;but,asshesays,thereisalwaysanewgenerationcomingalongtowhomalmosteverythingmustbefresh。Anyhow,theconfoundedthingcostsevenandsix,andseemstobenogoodforanythingelse。 \"WhateverwasitthatyoureallydidsaytoRobinaboutherroom? YoungButecameroundtomeonMondayquiteupsetaboutit。Hesaysitisgoingtobeallwindows,andwilllook,whenfinished,likeanincorrectcopyoftheEddystonelighthouse。Hesaystherewillbenoplaceforthebed,andifthereistobeafireplaceatallitwillhavetobeinthecupboard,andthattheonlyway,sofarashecansee,ofhergettinginandoutofitwillbebyadoorthroughthebathroom。Shesaidthatyousaidshecouldhaveitentirelytoherownidea,andthathewasjusttocarryoutherinstructions;but,ashepointsout,youcan’thavearoominahouseasiftherestofthehousewasn’tthere,evenifitisyourownroom。Nobody,itseems,willbeabletohaveabathwithoutfirsttalkingitoverwithher,andarrangingatimemutuallyconvenient。ItoldhimIwassureyounevermeanthimtodoanythingabsurd;andthathisbestplanwouldbetogostraightbacktoher,explaintoherthatshe’dbeentalkinglikeasillygoat——hecouldhaveputitpolitely,ofcourse——andthathewasn’tgoingtopayanyattentiontoher。YoumighthavethoughtIhadsuggestedhiswalkingintoadenoflionsandpullingalltheirtails。Idon’tknowwhatRobinhasdonetohim,butheseemsquitefrightenedofher。IhadtopromisethatIwouldtalktoher。He’dbetterhavedoneithimself。Ionlytoldherjustwhathesaid,andoffshewentinoneofhertantrums。Youknowherstyle:Ifshelikedtoliveinaroomwhereshecouldseetodoherhairthatwasnobusinessofhis,andifhecouldn’tdesignaplain,simplebedroomthatwasn’tgoingtolookridiculousandmakeherthelaughing—stockofalltheneighbourhood,thentheRoyalInstituteofBritishArchitectsmusthavestrangenotionsofthesortofpersonentitledtogoaboutthecountrybuildinghouses;thatifhethoughttheproperplaceforafirewasinacupboard,shedidn’t;thathisdutywastocarryouttheinstructionsofhisemployers,andifheimaginedforamomentshewasgoingtoconsenttoremainshutupinherroomtilleverybodyinthehousehadfinishedbathingitwouldbebetterforustosecuretheservicesofsomebodypossessedofalittlecommonsense;thatnexttimeshemethimshewouldcertainlytellhimwhatshethoughtofhim,alsothatsheshouldcertainlydeclinetoholdanyfurthercommunicationwithhimagain;thatshedoesn’twantabedroomnowofanysort——perhapsshemaybepermittedashakedowninthepantry,orperhapsVeronicawillallowheranoccasionalnight’srestwithher,andifnotitdoesn’tmatter。 You’llhavetotalktoheryourself。I’mnotgoingtosayanymore。 \"Don’tforgetthatFridayistheSt。Leonards’’AtHome’day。I’vepromisedJaniethatyoushallbethereinallyourbestclothes。 (Don’ttellherI’mcallingherJanie。Itmightoffendher。ButnobodycallsherMissSt。Leonard。)Everybodyiscoming,andallthechildrenarehavingtheirhairwashed。Youwillhaveitallyourownwaydownhere。There’snoothercelebritytillyougettoBossCroker,theTammanyman,theothersideofIlsleyDowns。Artiststheydon’tcount。Therumourwasallroundtheplacelastweekthatyouwerehereincognitointhepersonofadismal—lookingJohnny,stayingatthe’Fisherman’sRetreat,’whousedtositalldayinapuntupthebackwaterdrinkingwhisky。ItmademerathermadwhenI sawhim。Isupposeitwasthewhiskythatsuggestedtheideatothem。Theyhavegotthenotioninthesepartsthataliterarymanisasortofinspiredtramp。AMrs。Jaggerswade——orsomesuchname—— whomImethereonSundayandwhoiscomingonFriday,tookmeasideandaskedme’whatsortofthings’yousaidwhenyoutalked?Shesaidshefeltsureitwouldbesoclever,and,herself,shewaslookingforwardtoit;butwouldI——’quitebetweenourselves’——advisehertobringthechildren。 \"Isay,youwillhavetotalkseriouslytoVeronica。Countrylifeseemstoagreewithher。She’stakentopoachingalready——sheandthetwins。Itwastheonesinthathithertotheyhadnevercommitted,andIfancytheoldmanwasfeelingproudofthis。 LuckilyIcaughtthemcominghome——withtendeadrabbitsstrungonapole,thetwinscarryingitbetweenthemontheirshoulders,suggestingthepictureofthespiesreturningfromthepromisedlandwiththatbunchofgrapes——Veronicascoutingonaheadwith,everytenyards,hereartotheground,listeningforhostilefootsteps。Thethingthattroubledhermostwasthatshehadn’theardmecoming;sheseemedtofearthatsomethinghadgonewrongwiththelawsofNature。 Theyhadfoundthewholecollectionhangingfromatree,andhadpersuadedthemselvesthatProvidencemusthavebeenexpectingthem。 Iinsistedontheirgoingbackwithmeandshowingmethetree,muchtotheirdisgust。Andfortunatelythekeeperwasn’tabout——theyarementhatlovemakingarow。Italkedsomefinemoralsentimenttoher。Butshesaysyouhavetoldherthatitdoesn’tmatterwhetheryouaregoodorbad,thingshappentoyoujustthesame;andthisbeingsoshefeelsshemayaswellenjoyherself。Iaskedherwhysheneverseemedabletoenjoyherselfbeinggood——IbelieveifI’dalwayshadakidtobringupI’dhavebeenamodelchapmyselfbythistime。Heranswerwasthatshesupposedshewasbornbad。I pointedouttoherthatwasareflectiononyouandLittleMother; andsheansweredsheguessedshemustbea’throw—back。’OldSlee’sgotadogthatoughttohavebeenafox—terrier,butisn’t,andheseemstohavebeenexplainingthingstoher。 \"Athingthatwilltroubleyoudownhere,Dad,isthecrueltyofthecountry。Theycatchthesepoorlittlewretchesintraps,leavingthemsometimesfordayssufferingwhatmustbetothemnothingshortofagony——tosaynothingoftheterrorandthehunger。Itriedputtingmyfingerinoneofthebeastlythingsandkeepingitthereforjusttwominutesbymywatch。Itseemedliketwenty。Thepaingrowsmoreintensewitheverysecond,andI’mnotasoft,asyouknow。I’velainhalfanhourwithabrokenleg,andthatwasn’tasbad。Onehearsthelittlecreaturesscreaming,butcannotfindthem。 Ofcoursewhenonedrawsneartheykeepsilent。Itmakesonequitedislikecountrypeople。Theyaresocallous。Whenyouspeaktothemaboutittheyonlygrin。Janiegoesnearlymadaboutit。Mr。St。 Leonardtriedtogettheclergymantosaysomethingonthesubject,butheansweredthathethoughtitbetter’fortheChurchtoconfineherselftotheaccomplishmentofherowngreatmission。’Ass! \"BringLittleMotherdown;wewanttoshowheroffonFriday。Andmakeherputonsomethingpretty。Askherifshe’sgotthatlilacthingwithlacesheworeatCambridgefortheMayWeektheyearbeforelast。Tellhernottobesilly;itwasn’tabittooyoung。 Nashsaidshelookedlikesomethingoutofanoldpicture,andhe’sgoingtobeanartist。Don’tletherdressherself。Shedoesn’tunderstandit。Andwillyougetmeagun——\" Theremainderoftheletterwastakenupwithinstructionsconcerningthegun。Itseemedacomplicatedsortofgun。IwishedIhadn’treadabouttheguntoEthelbertha。Itmadehernervousfortherestoftheday。 Veronica’sletterfollowedonThursdaymorning。Ireaditgoingdowninthetrain。IntranscribingIhavethoughtitbetter,asregardsthespelling,toadoptthemoreconventionalforms。 \"Youwillbepleasedtohear,\"Veronicawrote,\"thatweareallquitewell。Robinworksveryhard。ButIthinkitdoeshergood。AndofcourseIhelpher。AllIcan。Iamgladshehasgotaboy。Todothewashing—up。Ithinkthatwastoomuchforher。Itusedtomakehercross。Onecannotblameher。Itistryingwork。Anditmakesyoumucky。Heisagoodboy。Buthasbeenneglected。Sodoesn’tknowmuch。Iamteachinghimgrammar。Hesays’youwas’and’herbe。’Butisgettingbetter。Hesayshewenttoschool。Buttheycouldn’thavetakenanytroublewithhim。Couldthey?Thesystem,I suppose,wasrotten。RobinasaysImustn’toverdoit。BecauseyouwanthimtotalkBerkshire。SoIproposeconfiningourattentiontotheelementaryrules。HehadneverheardofRobinsonCrusoe。Whatalife!WewenttochurchonSunday。Icouldnotfindmygloves。AndRobinawaswaxy。ButMr。St。Leonardcamewithouthistrousers。 Whichwasworse。Wefoundthemintheevening。Thelittleboythatblewupourstovewastherewithhismother。ButIdidn’tspeaktoher。He’sgotadoom。That’swhatmadehimblowitup。Hecouldn’thelpit。Soyouseeitwasn’tmyfault。Afterall。Hisgrandfatherwasblownup。Andhe’sgoingtobeblownupagain。Lateron。Butheisverybrave。Andisgoingtomakeawill。IlikealltheSt。 Leonardsverymuch。WewenttheretoteaonSunday。AndMr。St。 LeonardsaidIwasbright。IthinkMissJanieverybeautiful。AndsodoesDick。Shemakesmethinkofangels。SoshedoesDick。Andhesayssheissokindtoherlittlebrothersandsisters。Itisagoodsign。IthinksheoughttomarryDick。Itwouldsteadyhim。 Heworksveryhard。ButIthinkitdoeshimgood。Wehavebreakfastatseven。AndIlaythetable。Itisverybeautifulinthemorning。 Whenyouareonceup。Mrs。St。Leonardhastwins。Theyareagreatanxietytoher。Butshewouldnotpartfromthem。Shehashadmuchtrouble。Andissometimesverysad。Ilikethegirlbest。HernameisWinnie。Sheismorelikeaboy。HisnameisWilfrid。Butsometimestheychangeclothes。Thenyou’redone。Theyareonlynearlyseven。Buttheyknowalot。Theyaregoingtoteachmeswimming。Isitnotkindofthem?Thetwoolderboysareathomefortheirholidays。Buttheygivethemselvesalotofairs。Andtheycalledmeaflapper。Itoldhimhe’dbesorry。Whenhewasaman。BecauseperhapsI’dgrowupbeautiful。Andthenhe’dfallinlovewithme。Buthesaidhewouldn’t。SoIlethimseewhatI thoughtofhim。Thelittlegirlisverynice。Sheisaboutmyownage。HernameisSally。Wearegoingtowriteaplay。Butwesha’n’tletBertieactinit。Unlessheturnsoveranewleaf。I’mgoingtobeaprincessthatdoesn’tknowit。Butonlyfeelsit。Andshe’sgoingtobeawickedwitch。Whatwantsmetomarryherson。 What’sasight。ButIwon’t,becauseI’dratherdiefirst。Andaminlovewithaswineherd。Thatisagenius。Onlynobodysuspectsit。Iwearacrowninthelastact。Andeverybodyrejoices。Excepther。Ithinkitwillbegood。Wehavenearlyfinishedthefirstact。Shewritesverywell。Andhasasenseofatmosphere。AndI tellherwhattosay。MissJanieisgoingtomakemeadresswithatrain。Andgoldspangles。AndRobinaisgoingtolendmeherbluenecklace。Anythingwilldoofcoursefortheoldwitch。Soitwon’tbemuchtroubletoanyone。Mr。Buteisgoingtopaintussomescenery。Andwearegoingtoinviteeverybody。Heisverynice。 Robinasayshethinkstoomuchofhimself。Byalongchalk。Butsheisverycriticalwheremenareconcerned。Sheadmitsit。Shesaysshecan’thelpit。Ifindhimveryaffable。AndsodoesDick。WethinkRobinawillgetoverit。Andhehaspromisednottobeangrywithher。BecauseIhavetoldhimthatshedoesnotmeanit。Itisonlyherway。Shesaysshefeelsitisunjustofher。Becausereallyheisrathercharming。Itoldhimthat。AndhesaidIwasadearlittlegirl。Heisgoingtogetmearealcrown。Robinasayshehasniceeyes。Itoldhimthat。Andhelaughed。ThereisagentlemancomesherethatIthinkisinlovewithRobina。ButI shouldn’tsayanythingtoheraboutit。IfIwasyou。Sheisverysnappyaboutit。Heisnothandsome。Buthelooksgood。Hewritesforthepapers。ButIdon’tthinkheisrich。AndRobinaisverynicetohim。Untilhe’sgone。Thenshegetsmad。Itallbeganwiththeexplosion。Soperhapsitwasfate。Heisgoingtokeepitoutofthepapers。Asmuchashecan。Butofcourseheowesadutytothepublic。Iamgoingtodeclinetoseehim。Ithinkitbetter。 Mr。Sleesayseverythingwillbeinapple—pieorderto—morrow。Soyoucancomedown。AndwearegoingtohaveIrishstew。Androly— polypudding。Itwillbeachange。Heisverynice。Andsayshewasalwaysintroublehimselfwhenhewasalittleboy。It’sallexperience。WeareallgoingonFridaytoapartyatMr。St。 Leonard’s。Andyouhavegottocometoo。RobinasaysIcanwearmynewfrock。Butwecan’tfindthesash。Itisverystrange。BecauseIrememberhavingseenit。Youdidn’ttakeitforanything,didyou? Weshallhavetogetanewone,Isuppose。Itisveryannoying。Mynewshoeshavealsonotwornwell。Andtheyoughttohave。BecauseRobinasaystheywereexpensive。Thedonkeyhascome。Andheissweet。Heeatsoutofmyhand。Andletsmekisshim。Buthewon’tgo。Hegoesalittlewhenyoushoutathim。Veryloud。MeandRobinawentforadriveyesterdayaftertea。AndDickranbeside。 Andshouted。Buthegothoarse。Andthenhewouldn’tgonomore。 AndRobinadidnotlikeit。BecauseDickshoutedswearwords。Hesaystheycomenaturallytoyouwhenyoushout。AndRobinasaiditwashorrible。Andthatpeoplewouldhearhim。Sowegotout。Andpushedhimhome。Butheisverystrong。Andwewereallverytired。 AndRobinasaysshehateshim。DickisgoingtogiveMr。’Opkinshalfacrown。Totellhimhowhemakeshimgo。BecauseMr。’Opkinsmakeshimgallop。Robinasaysitmustbehypnotism。ButDickthinksitmightbesomethingsimpler。IthinkMr。’Opkinsverynice。Hesaysyoupromisedtolendhimabook。Whatwouldhelphimtotalklikearealcountryboy。SoIhavelenthimabookaboutawindow。 ByMr。Bane。Whatcametoseeuslastyear。Ithasalotoffunnywordsinit。Andheisgoingtolearnthemup。Buthedon’tknowwhattheymean。NomoredoI。Ihavewrittenalotofthebook。Itpromisestobeveryinteresting。Itisalladream。Heisjusttheordinarygrown—upfather。Neitherbetternorworse。Andhegoesupandup。Itisapleasantsensation。Tillhereachesthemoon。Andthereeverythingisdifferent。Itisthechildrenthatknoweverything。Andarealwaysright。Andthegrown—upshavetodoallwhattheytellthem。Theyarekindbutfirm。Itisverygoodforhim。Andwhenhewakesupheisabetterman。Iputdowneverythingthatoccurstome。Likeyousuggested。Thereisquitealotofit。 Anditmakesyouseehowunjustlychildrenaretreated。TheysaidI wastofeedthedonkey。Becauseitwasmydonkey。AndIfedhim。 Andtherewasn’tenoughsupperforDick。AndDicksaidIwasanidiot。AndRobinasaidIwasn’ttofeedhim。Andinthemorningtherewasn’tanythingtofeedhimon。Becausehewon’teatanythingbutbread—and—butter。Andthebakerhadn’tcome。Andhewasn’tthere。Becausethemanthatcomestomilkthecowhadleftthedooropen。AndIwasdistracted。AndDickaskedhadIfedhim。AndofcourseIhadn’tfedhim。AndlordhowDicktalked。Neverwaitedtohearanything,mindyou。Ilethimtalk。Butitjustshowsyou。Weareallveryhappy。Butshallbepleasedtoseeyou。Onceagain。 Thepeppermintcreamsdownherearenotgood。Andareverydear。 ComparedwithLondonprices。Isn’tthisagoodletter?YousaidI wastoalwayswritejustasIthought。SoI’mdoingit。Ithinkthat’sall。\" IreadselectionsfromthisletteraloudtoEthelbertha。Shesaidshewasgladshehaddecidedtocomedownwithme。 CHAPTERIX Hadallthingsgoneasordered,ourarrivalattheSt。Leonards’onFridayafternoonwouldhavebeenimposing。Itwasourentrance,sotospeak,uponthelocalstage;andRobinahaddecideditwasacasewheresmalleconomiesoughtnottobeconsidered。Theliverystableproprietorhadsuggestedabrougham,butthatwouldhavenecessitatedoneofusridingoutside。IexplainedtoRobinathat,inthecountry,thiswasusual;andRobinahadrepliedthatmuchdependeduponfirstimpressions。Dickwould,inallprobability,claimtheplaceforhimself;and,themomentwewerestarted,stickapipeinhismouth。Sheselectedanopenlandauofquiteanextraordinarysize,paintedyellow。ItlookedtomeanobjectmoreappropriatetoaLordMayor’sshowthantotherequirementsofaChristianfamily; butRobinaseemedtouchyonthesubject,andIsaidnomore。Itcertainlywasroomy。OldGlossophadturneditoutwell,withapairofgreys——seventeenhands,Ijudgedthem。Theonlythingthatseemedwrongwasthecoachman。Ican’texplainwhy,buthestruckmeastheclassofyouthoneassociateswithamilk—cart。 Wesetoutatagentletrot。Veronica,whohadbeenintroublemostofthemorning,satstifflyontheextremeedgeofherseat,clothedintheattitudeofonedeadtotheworld;Dick,inlavenderglovesthatRobinahadthoughtfullyboughtforhim,nexttoher。 Ethelbertha,Robina,andmyselfsatperchedonthebackseat;tohaveleanedbackwouldhavebeentoliedown。Ethelbertha,havingmadeuphermindshewasgoingtodislikethewholefamilyoftheSt。 Leonards,seemeddisinclinedforconversation。MyselfIhadforgottenmycigar—case。IhavetriedtheSt。Leonardcigar。Hedoesnotsmokehimself;butkeepsaboxforhisfriends。Hetellsmehefanciesmenaresmokingcigarslessthanformerly。IdidnotseehowIwasgoingtogetasmokeforthenextthreehours。Nothingannoysmemorethanbeingbustledandmadetoforgetthings。Robina,whohasrecentlychangedherviewsonthesubjectoffreckles,sharedaparasolwithhermother。Theyhadtoholditalmosthorizontallyinfrontofthem,andthisobscuredtheirview。Icouldnotmyselfunderstandwhypeoplesmiledaswewentby。Apartfromthecarriage,whichtheymusthaveseenbefore,wewerenot,Ishouldhavesaid,anexhilaratingspectacle。Apartyofcyclistslaughedoutright。 Robinasaidtherewasonethingweshouldhavetobecarefulabout,livinginthecountry,andthatwasthatthestrongairandthelonelinesscombineddidn’tsapourintellect。Shesaidshehadnoticedit——thetendencyofcountrypeopletobecomeprematurelysilly。Ididnotshareherfears,asIhadbythistimedivinedwhatitwasthatwasamusingfolks。Dickhaddiscoveredbehindthecushions——remnantofsomerecentwedding,onesupposes——alargeandtastefullyboundBookofCommonPrayer。HeandVeronicasatholdingitbetweenthem。Lookingattheirfacesonecouldalmostheartheorganpealing。 Dickkeptoneeyeontheparasol;andwhen,onpassingintoshade,itwaslowered,heandVeronicawerewatchingwithraptecstasytheflightofswallows。RobinasaidsheshouldtellMr。Glossopoftheinsultstowhichrespectablepeopleweresubjectwhenridinginhiscarriage。Shethoughtheoughttotakestepstopreventit。Shelikewisesuggestedthatthefourofus,leavingtheLittleMotherinthecarriage,shouldwalkupthehill。Ethelberthasaidthatsheherselfwouldlikeawalk。Shehadbeenbalancingherselfontheedgeofacushionwithherfeetdanglingfortwomiles,andwastired。Sheherselfwouldhavepreferredacarriagemadeforordinary—sizedpeople。Ourcoachmancalledattentiontotheheatoftheafternoonandthelengthofthehill,andrecommendedourremainingwherewewere;buthisadvicewasdismissedasexhibitingwantoffeeling。Robinais,perhaps,atrifleover—sympatheticwhereanimalsareconcerned。Iremember,whentheywerechildren,herbangingDickovertheheadwiththenurserybellowsbecausehewouldnotagreetotalkinawhisperforfearofwakingthecat。Youcan,ofcourse,overdokindnesstoanimals,butitisafaultontherightside;and,asarule,Idonotdiscourageher。Veronicawasallowedtoremain,owingtoherbadknee。Itisamostunfortunateaffliction。Itcomesonquitesuddenly。Thereisnothingtobeseen;butthechild’sfacewhilesheissufferingfromitwouldmoveaheartofstone。Ithadbeentroublingher,soitappeared,allthemorning;butshehadsaidnothing,notwishingtoalarmhermother。 Ethelbertha,whothinksitmaybehereditary——sheherselfhavinghadanauntwhohadsufferedfromcontractedligament——fixedherupascomfortablyasthepainwouldpermitwithcushionsinthecentreofthebackseat;andtherestofustoiledafterthecarriage。 Ishouldnotliketosayforcertainthathorseshaveasenseofhumour,butIsometimesthinktheymust。Ihadahorseyearsagowhousedtotakedelightinteasinggirls。Icandescribeitnootherway。Hewouldpickoutagirlaquarterofamileoff;alwayssomehaughty,well—dressedgirlwhowasfeelingpleasedwithherself。Asweapproachedhewouldeyeherwithhorrorandastonishment。Itwastoomarkedtoescapenotice。Ahundredyardsoffhewouldbewalkingsideways,backingawayfromher;Iwouldseethepoorladygrowingscarletwiththeinsultandannoyanceofit。Oppositetoher,hewouldshytheentirewidthoftheroad,andmakepretencetobolt。 LookingbackIwouldseehervainlyappealingtosurroundingnatureforalooking—glasstoseewhatitwasthathadgonewrongwithher。 \"Whatisthematterwithme,\"shewouldbecryingtoherself;\"thattheverybeastsofthefieldshouldshunme?Dotheytakemeforagollywog?\" Halfwayupthehill,theoff—sidegreyturnedhisheadandlookedatus。Wewereaboutacoupleofhundredyardsbehind;itwasahotanddustyday。Hewhisperedtothenear—sidegrey,andthenear—sidegreyturnedandlookedatusalso。Iknewwhatwascoming。I’vebeenplayedthesametrickbefore。Ishoutedtotheboy,butitwastoolate。Theytooktherestofthehillatagallopanddisappearedoverthebrow。Hadtherebeenanexperiencedcoachmanbehindthem,I shouldnothaveworried。Dicktoldhismothernottobealarmed,andstartedoffatfifteenmilesanhour。IcalculatedIwasdoingaboutten,whichforagentlemanpasthisfirstyouth,inafrocksuitdesignedtodisguiseratherthangiveplaytothefigure,Iconsidercreditable。Robina,undecidedwhethertogoonaheadwithDickorremaintoassisthermother,wastedvigourbyrunningfromonetotheother。Ethelbertha’sonehopewasthatshemightreachthewreckageintimetoreceiveVeronica’slastwishes。