\"Not,Itrust,\"Ireturned,\"ofany’lie’their’soulhathspoken!’
Butnotoneofthemlingers?\"
Heseemedtowonder。\"’Lingers?’Forwhat?\"
\"Oh,Idon’tknow——inthishouse!\"
Helookedatourlongvista,stilllighted——appearedtofeelwithmeourliberalease,whichimpliedthatunseenpowerswaitedonourgoodpleasureandsatupforus。Thereisnothinglikeitinfact,theliberaleaseatNewmarch。YetObertremindedme——ifIneededthereminder——thatImustn’tafterallpresumeonit。\"WasoneofthemtolingerforYOU?\"
\"Well,sinceyouaskme,itwaswhatIhoped。Butsinceyouanswerforitthatmyhopehasnotbeenmet,Ibowtoasuperiorpropriety。\"
\"Youmeanyou’llcomeandsmokewithme?Dothencome。\"
\"What,ifIdo,\"Iaskedwithanidea,\"willyougiveme?\"
\"I’mafraidIcanpromiseyounothingmorethatidealinthanabadcigarette。\"
\"Andwhatthen,\"Iwenton,\"willyoutakefromme?\"
Hehadmetmyeyes,andnowlookedatmealittlewithasmilethatIthoughtjustconscious。\"Well,I’mafraidICAN’Ttakeanymore——\"
\"Ofthesortofstuff,\"Ilaughed,\"you’vealreadyhad?Sorrystuff,perhaps——apoorthingbutmineown!Suchasitis,Ionlyasktokeepitformyself,andthatisn’twhatImeant。Imeantwhatflowerwillyougather,whathavocwillyouplay——?\"
\"Well?\"hesaidasIhesitated。
\"AmongsuperstitionsthatI,afterall,cherish。Monsiegeestfait——agreatglitteringcrystalpalace。Howmanypaneswillyourewardmeforamiablysittingupwithyoubysmashing?\"
Itmighthavebeenmymerefancy——butitWASmyfancy——thathelookedatmeatrifleharder。\"HowonearthcanItellwhatyou’retalkingabout?\"
Iwaitedamoment,thenwenton:\"Didyouhappentocountthem?\"
\"Countwhom?\"
\"Why,theladiesastheyfiledup。Wasthenumberthere?\"
Hegaveajerkofimpatience。\"Goandseeforyourself!\"
OncemoreIjustwaited。\"ButsupposeIshouldfindMrs。Server?\"
\"Prowlingthereonthechanceofyou?Well——Ithoughtshewaswhatyouwanted。\"
\"Then,\"Ireturned,\"youCOULDtellwhatIwastalkingabout!\"Foramomentafterthiswefacedeachotherwithoutmorespeech,butIpresentlycontinued:\"Youdidn’treallynoticeifanyladystayedbehind?\"
\"Ithinkyouasktoomuchofme,\"heatlastbroughtout。\"Takecareofyourladies,mydearman,yourself!Go,\"herepeated,\"andsee。\"
\"Certainly——it’sbetter;butI’llrejoinyouinthreeminutes。\"Andwhilehewenthiswaytothesmoking—roomIproceededwithoutmoredelaytoassuremyself,performingintheoppositesensethejourneyIhadmadetenminutesbefore。ItwasextraordinarywhatthesightofLongaloneintheouterdarknesshaddoneforme:myexpressionofitwouldhavebeenthatithadputme\"on\"againatthemomentofmydecidedlyfeelingmyselfoff。IbelievedthatifIhadn’tseenhimIcouldnowhavegonetobedwithoutseeingMrs。Briss;butmyrenewedimpressionhadsuddenlymadethedifference。Ifthatwasthewayhestruckme,howmightnot,ifIcouldgetather,she?Andshemight,afterall,intheprivacyatlastofferedusbyemptyrooms,bewaitingforme。Iwentthroughthemall,however,onlytofindthememptyindeed。InconformitywiththelargeallowancesofeverysortthatwerethelawofNewmarch,theywerestillopenandlighted,sothatifIhadbelievedinMrs。Briss’sreappearanceImightconveniently,onthespot,havegivenherfiveminutesmore。Iamnotsure,forthatmatter,thatIdidn’t。IrememberatleastwonderingifImightn’tringsomewhereforaservantandcauseaquestiontobesentuptoher。Ididn’tring,butImusthavelingeredalittleonthechanceofthearrivalofservantstoextinguishlightsandseethehousesafe。Theyhadnotarrived,however,bythetimeIagainfeltthatImustgiveup。
Chapter11
Igaveupbygoing,decidedly,tothesmoking—room,whereseveralmenhadgatheredandwhereObert,alittleapartfromthem,wasincharmedcommunionwiththebookshelves。Theyarewonderful,everywhere,atNewmarch,thebookshelves,butheputavolumebackashesawmecomein,andamomentlater,whenwewereseated,Isaidtohimagain,asarecallofourpreviouspassage,\"ThenyouCOULDtellwhatIwastalkingabout!\"AndIadded,tocompletemyreference,\"SinceyouthoughtMrs。Serverwasthepersonwhom,whenIstoppedyou,IwassorrytolearnfromyouIhadmissed。\"
HismomentarysilenceappearedtoadmittheconnectionIestablished。
\"ThenyoufindyouHAVEmissedher?Shewasn’tthereforyou?\"
\"There’snoone’thereforme’;sothatIfearthatifyouweren’t,asithappens,hereforme,myamusementwouldbequiteatanend。Ihad,infact,\"Icontinued,\"alreadygivenitupaslostwhenIcameuponyou,awhilesince,inconversationwiththeladywe’venamed。Atthat,Iconfess,myprospectsgavesomethingofaflare。IsaidtomyselfthatsinceYOUR
interesthadn’tthenwhollydropped,why,evenattheworst,shouldmine?
YoursWASmine,wasn’tit?foralittle,thismorning。Orwasitminethatwasyours?Weexchanged,atanyrate,somelivelyimpressions。Only,beforewehaddone,youreffortdroppedoryourdiscretionintervened:yougaveup,asnoneofyourbusiness,thequestionthathadsuddenlytemptedus。\"
\"Andyougaveituptoo,\"saidmyfriend。
\"Yes,anditwasontheideathatitwasmineaslittleasyoursthatweseparated。\"
\"Wellthen?\"Hekepthiseyes,withhisheadthrownback,onthewarmbindings,admirableforoldgiltandoldcolour,thatcoveredtheoppositewall。
\"Wellthen,ifI’vecorrectlygatheredthatyou’re,inspiteofourcommonrenunciation,stillinterested,IconfesstoyouthatIam。Itookmydetachmenttoosoonforgranted。Ihaven’tbeendetached。I’mnot,hangme!detachednow。Andit’sallbecauseyouwereoriginallysosuggestive。\"
\"Originally?\"
\"Why,fromthemomentwemethereyesterday——themomentofmyfirstseeingyouwithMrs。Server。Thelookyougavemethenwasreallythebeginningofeverything。Everything\"——andIspokenowwithrealconviction——\"wastraceablytospringfromit。\"
\"Whatdoyoumean,\"heasked,\"byeverything?\"
\"Well,thisfailureofdetachment。Whatyousaidtomeasweweregoingupyesterdayafternoontodress——whatyousaidtomethenisresponsibleforit。Andsinceitcomestothat,\"Ipursued,\"Imakeoutformyselfnowthatyou’renotdetachedeither——unless,thatis,simplydetachedfromME。IhadindeedasuspicionofthatasIpassedthroughtheroomthere。\"
Hesmokedthroughanotherpause。\"You’veextraordinarynotionsofresponsibility。\"
Iwatchedhimamoment,butheonlystaredatthebookswithoutlookinground。Somethinginhisvoicehadmadememorecertain,andmycertaintymademelaugh。\"IseeyouAREserious!\"
Buthewentonquietlyenough。\"You’veextraordinarynotionsofresponsibility。
Idenyaltogethermine。\"
\"YouAREserious——youARE!\"IrepeatedwithagaietythatImeantasinoffensiveandthatIbelieveremainedso。\"Butnomatter。You’renoworsethanI。\"
\"I’mclearly,byyourownstory,nothalfsobad。But,asyousay,nomatter。Idon’tcare。\"
Iventuredtokeepitup。\"Oh,don’tyou?\"
Hisgoodnaturewasproof。\"Idon’tcare。\"
\"Thenwhydidn’tyousomuchaslookatmeawhileago?\"
\"Didn’tIlookatyou?\"
\"Youknowperfectlyyoudidn’t。Mrs。Serverdid——withherunutterableintensity;makingmefeelafresh,bytheway,thatI’veneverseenawomancompromiseherselfsolittlebyproceedingssocompromising。Butthoughyousawherintensity,itneverdivertedyouforaninstantfromyourown。\"
Helightedbeforeheansweredthisafreshcigarette。\"Amanengagedintalkwithacharmingwomanscarcelyselectsthatoccasionforwinkingatsomebodyelse。\"
\"YoumeanhecontentshimselfwithwinkingatHER?Mydearfellow,thatwasn’tenoughforyouyesterday,anditwouldn’thavebeenenoughforyouthismorning,amongtheimpressionsthatledtoourlasttalk。Itwasjustthefactthatyoudidwink,thatyouHADwinked,atmethatwoundmeup。\"
\"AndwhataboutthefactthatyouhadwinkedatME?YOURwinks——come\"——Obertlaughed——\"areportentous!\"
\"Oh,ifwerecriminate,\"Icheerfullysaidafteramoment,\"weagree。\"
\"I’mnotsosure,\"hereturned,\"thatweagree。\"
\"Ah,then,ifwedifferit’sstillmoreinteresting。Because,youknow,wedidn’tdiffereitheryesterdayorthismorning。\"
Withouthurryorflurry,butwithadecentconfusion,histhoughtswentback。\"Ithoughtyousaidjustnowwedid——recognising,asyouought,thatyouwerekeenaboutachaseofwhichIwashedmyhands。\"
\"No——Iwasn’tkeen。You’vejustmentionedthatyouremembermygivingup。Iwashedmyhandstoo。\"
Itseemedtoleavehimwiththemoralofthis。\"Then,ifourhandsareclean,whatarewetalkingabout?\"
Iturned,onit,alittlemoretohim,andlookedathimsolongthathehadatlasttolookatme;withwhich,afterholdinghiseyesanothermoment,Imademypoint。\"Ourhandsarenotclean。\"
\"Ah,speakforyourown!\"——andashemovedbackImightreallyhavethoughthimuneasy。Therewasahintofthesamenoteinthewayhewenton:\"IassureyouIdeclineallresponsibility。Iseetheresponsibilityasquitebeautifullyyours。\"
\"Well,\"Isaid,\"Ionlywanttobefair。Youwerethefirsttobringitoutthatshewaschanged。\"
\"Well,sheisn’tchanged!\"saidmyfriendwithanalmoststartlingeffect,forme,ofsuddenness。\"Orrather,\"heimmediatelyandincongruouslyadded,\"sheIS。She’schangedback。\"
\"’Back’?\"Itmademestare。
\"Back,\"herepeatedwithacertainsharpnessandasiftohavedoneatlast,forhimself,withthemuddleofit。
Buttherewasthatinmethatcouldlethimseehehadfarfromdone;
andsomething,aboveall,toldmenowthatheabsolutelymustn’thavebeforeIhad。IquicklymoreoversawthatImust,withanart,makehimwantnotto。\"Backtowhatshewaswhenyoupaintedher?\"
Hehadtothinkaninstantforthis。\"No——notquitetothat。\"
\"Towhatthen?\"
Hetriedinamannertoobligeme。\"Tosomethingelse。\"
Itseemedso,formythought,thegleamofsomethingthatfitted,thatIwasalmostafraidofquenchingthegleambypressure。ImustthengeteverythingIcouldfromhimwithoutaskingtoomuch。\"Youdon’tquiteknowtoWHATelse?\"
\"No——Idon’tquiteknow。\"Buttherewasasoundinit,thistime,thatItookasthehintofawishtoknow——almostarecognitionthatImighthelphim。
IhelpedhimaccordinglyasIcouldand,Imayadd,asfarasthepositiveflutterhehadstirredinmesuffered。Itfitted——itfitted!\"Ifherchangeistosomethingother,Isupposethenachangebackisnotquitetheexactnameforit。\"
\"Perhapsnot。\"Ifairlythrilledathistakingthesuggestionasifitwereanassistance。\"Sheisn’tatanyratewhatIthoughtheryesterday。\"
Itwasamazingintowhatdepthsthisdroppedformeandwithwhatpossibilitiesitmingled。\"Irememberwhatyousaidofheryesterday。\"
IdrewhimonsothatIbroughtbackforhimtheverywordshehadused。
\"Shewassobeastlyunhappy。\"Andheusedthemnowvisiblynotasaremembranceofwhathehadsaid,butforthecontrastofthefactwithwhatheatpresentperceived;sothatthevaluethisgaveformetowhatheatpresentperceivedwasimmense。
\"Anddoyoumeanthatthat’sgone?\"
Hehungfire,however,alittleastosayingsomuchwhathemeant,andwhilehewaitedheagainlookedatme。\"WhatdoYOUmean?Don’tyouthinksoyourself?\"
Ilaidmyhandonhisarmandheldhimamomentwithagripthatbetrayed,Idaresay,theeffortinmetokeepmythoughtstogetherandlosenotathread。Itbetrayedatonce,doubtless,thedangerofthatfailureandthesharpforetasteofsuccess。Irememberthatwithit,absolutely,I
struckmyselfasknowingagainthejoyoftheintellectualmasteryofthingsunamenable,thatjoyofdetermining,almostofcreatingresults,whichIhavealreadymentionedasanexhilarationattachedtosomeofmyplungesofinsight。\"ItwouldtakelongtotellyouwhatImean。\"
ThetoneofitmadehimfairlywatchmeasIhadbeenwatchinghim。
\"Well,haven’twegotthewholenight?\"
\"Oh,itwouldtakemorethanthewholenight——evenifwehadit!\"
\"Bywhichyousuggestthatwehaven’tit?\"
\"No——wehaven’tit。Iwanttogetaway。\"
\"Togotobed?Ithoughtyouweresokeen。\"
\"IAMkeen。Keenisnowordforit。Idon’twanttogotobed。Iwanttogetaway。\"
\"Toleavethehouse——inthemiddleofthenight?\"
\"Yes——absurdasitmayseem。Youexcitemetoomuch。Youdon’tknowwhatyoudotome。\"
Hecontinuedtolookatme;thenhegavealaughwhichwasnotthecontradiction,butquitetheattestation,oftheeffectproducedonhimbymygrip。IfIhadwantedtoholdhimIheldhim。ItonlycametomeeventhatIheldhimtoomuch。Ifeltthisinfactwiththenextthinghesaid。\"Ifyou’retooexcited,then,tobecoherentnow,willyoutellmeto—morrow?\"
Itooktimemyselfnowtorelight。Ridiculousasitmaysound,Ihadmynervestosteady;whichisaproof,surely,thatforrealexcitementtherearenosuchadventuresasintellectualones。\"Oh,tomorrowIshallbeoffinspace!\"
\"Certainlyweshallneitherofusbehere。Butcan’twearrange,say,tomeetintown,oreventogouptogetherinsuchconditionsaswillenableustotalk?\"
Ipattedhisarmagain。\"Thankyouforyourpatience。It’sreallygoodofyou。WhoknowsifIshallbealiveto—morrow?WeAREmeeting。Wedotalk。\"
ButwithallIhadtothinkofImusthavefallen,onthis,intothedeepestofsilences,forthenextthingIrememberishisreturning:\"Wedon’t!\"Irepeatedmygestureofreassurance,IconveyedthatIshouldbewithhimagaininaminute,andpresently,whilehegavemetime,hecamebacktosomethingofhisown。\"Mywink,atallevents,wouldhavebeennothingforanyquestionbetweenus,asI’vejustsaid,withoutyours。
That’swhatIcallyourresponsibility。Itwas,asweputthematter,thetorchofyouranalogy——\"
\"Oh,thetorchofmyanalogy!\"
Ihadsogroanedit——asifforveryecstasy——thatitpulledhimup,andIcouldseehiscuriosityasindeedreaffected。Buthewentonwithacoherencythatsomewhatadmonishedme:\"Itwasyourmakingme,asItoldyouthismorning,thinkoverwhatyouhadsaidaboutBrissendenandhiswife:itwasTHAT——\"
\"Thatmadeyouthinkover\"——Itookhimstraightup——\"whatyouyourselfhadsaidaboutourtroubledlady?Yes,precisely。ThatWASthetorchofmyanalogy。WhatIshowedyouintheonecaseseemedtotellyouwhattolookforintheother。Youthoughtitover。IaccuseyouofnothingworsethanofHAVINGthoughtitover。Butyouseewhatthinkingitoverdoesforit。\"
ThewayIsaidthisappearedtoamusehim。\"IseewhatitdoesforYOU!\"
\"No,youdon’t!Notatallyet。That’sjusttheembarrassment。\"
\"Justwhose?\"IfIhadthankedhimforhispatienceheshowedthathedeservedit。\"Justyours?\"
\"Well,saymine。Butwhenyoudo——!\"AndIpausedasfortherichpromiseofit。
\"WhenIdoseewhereyouare,youmean?\"
\"TheonlydifficultyiswhetheryouCANsee。Butwemusttry。You’vesetmewhirlinground,butwemustgostepbystep。Oh,butit’sallinyourgerm!\"——Ikeptthatup。\"Ifsheisn’tnowbeastlyunhappy\"
\"She’sbeastlyhappy?\"hebrokein,gettingfirmerhold,ifnotoftherealimpressionhehadjustbeengatheringundermyeyes,thenatleastofsomethinghehadbeguntomakeoutthatmyargumentrequired。\"Well,thatISthewayIseeherdifference。Herdifference,Imean,\"headded,inhisevidentwishtoworkwithme,\"herdifferencefromherotherdifference!
There!\"Helaughedasif,also,hehadfoundhimselffairlyfantastic。
\"Isn’tTHATclearforyou?\"
\"CrystallineforME。Butthat’sbecauseIknowwhy。\"
Icanseeagainnowthelonglookthat,onthis,hegaveme。Imadeoutalreadymuchofwhatwasinit。\"SothendoI!\"
\"Buthowintheworld?Iknow,formyself,HOWIknow。\"
\"SothendoI,\"heafteramomentrepeated。
\"Andcanyoutellme?\"
\"Certainly。ButwhatI’vealreadynamedtoyou——thetorchofyouranalogy。\"
Iturnedthisover。\"You’vemadeevidentlyanadmirableuseofit。Butthewonderfulthingisthatyouseemtohavedonesowithouthavingalltheelements。\"
Heonhissideconsidered。\"Whatdoyoucallalltheelements?\"
\"Oh,itwouldtakemelongtotellyou!\"Icouldn’thelplaughingatthecomparativesimplicitywithwhichheaskedit。\"That’sthesortofthingwejustnowspokeoftakingadayfor。Atanyrate,suchastheyare,theseelements,\"Iwenton,\"Ibelievemyselfpracticallyinpossessionofthem。ButwhatIdon’tquiteseeishowyoucanbe。\"
Well,hewasabletotellme。\"Whyintheworldshouldn’tyouranalogyhaveputme?\"Hespokewithgaiety,butwithlucidity。\"I’mnotanidioteither。\"
\"Isee。\"Buttherewassomuch!
\"DidyouthinkIWAS?\"heamiablyasked。
\"No。Isee,\"Irepeated。YetIdidn’t,really,fully;whichhepresentlyperceived。
\"YoumademethinkofyourviewoftheBrissendenpairtillIcouldthinkofnothingelse。\"
\"Yes——yes,\"Isaid。\"Goon。\"
\"Well,asyouhadplantedthetheoryinme,itbegantobearfruit。
Ibegantowatchthem。Icontinuedtowatchthem。Ididnothingbutwatchthem。\"
Thesuddenloweringofhisvoiceinthisconfession——asifithadrepresentedasortofdarkeningofhisconsciousness——againamusedme。\"Youtoo?Howthenwe’vebeenoccupied!ForI,yousee,havewatched——orhad,untilI
foundyoujustnowwithMrs。Servereveryone,everythingBUTyou。\"
\"Oh,I’vewatchedYOU,\"saidFordObertasifhehadthenperhapsafteralltheadvantageofme。\"IadmitthatImadeyououtformyselftobebackonthescent;forIthoughtImadeyououtbaffled。\"
TolearnwhetherIreallyhadbeenwas,Isaw,whathewouldmosthaveliked;butIalsosawthathehad,astothis,ascrupleaboutaskingme。
WhatImostsaw,however,wasthattotellhimIshouldhavetounderstand。
\"Whatscentdoyoualludeto?\"
HesmiledasifImighthavefanciedIcouldfence。\"Why,thepursuitoftheidentificationthat’snoneofourbusiness——theidentificationofherlover。\"
\"Ah,it’sastothat,\"Iinstantlyreplied,\"you’vejudgedmebaffled?
I’mafraid,\"Ialmostasquicklyadded,\"thatImustadmitIHAVEbeen。
Luckily,atallevents,itISnoneofourbusiness。\"
\"Yes,\"saidmyfriend,amusedonhisside,\"nothing’sourbusinessthatwecan’tfindout。Isawyouhadn’tfoundhim。Andwhat,\"Obertcontinued,\"doeshematternow?\"
Ittookbutamomenttoplacemeforseeingthatmycompanion’sconvictiononthispointwasaconvictiondecidedlytorespect;andeventhatamountofhesitationwasbuttheresultofmywonderinghowhehadreachedit。
\"What,indeed?\"Ipromptlyreplied。\"ButhowdidyouseeIhadfailed?\"
\"ByseeingthatImyselfhad。ForI’vebeenlookingtoo。Heisn’there,\"
saidFordObert。
DelightedasIwasthatheshouldbelieveit,Iwasyetstruckbythecomplacencyofhisconfidence,whichconnecteditselfagainwithmyobservationoftheirsorecentcolloquy。\"Oh,foryoutobesosure,hasMrs。Serversquaredyou?\"
\"IShehere?\"heforallanswertothisinsistentlyasked。
Ifalteredbutaninstant。\"No;heisn’there。It’snothankstoone’sscruples,butperhapsit’sluckyforone’smanners。Ispeakatleastformine。Ifyou’vewatched,\"Ipursued,\"you’vedoubtlesssufficientlyseenwhathasalreadybecomeofmine。Heisn’there,atallevents,\"Irepeated,\"andwemustdowithouthisidentity。What,infact,areweshowingeachother,\"Iasked,\"butthatweHAVEdonewithoutit?\"
\"ihave!\"myfrienddeclaredwithsupremefranknessandwithsomethingofthenote,asIwasobligedtorecognise,ofmyownconstructivejoy。
\"I’vedoneperfectlywithoutit。\"
Isawinfactthathehad,anditstruckmereallyaswonderful。ButIcontrolledtheexpressionofmywonder。\"Sothatifyouspokethereforejustnowofwatchingthem——\"
\"Imeantofcourse\"——hetookitstraightup——\"watchingtheBrissendens。
Andnaturally,aboveall,\"heasquicklysubjoined,\"thewife。\"
Iwasnowfullofconcurrence。\"Ah,naturally,aboveall,thewife。\"
Sofaraswasrequireditencouragedhim。\"Awoman’sloverdoesn’tmatter——doesn’tmatteratleasttoanyonebuthimself,doesn’tmattertoyouortomeortoher——whenonceshehasgivenhimup。\"
Itmademe,thistestimonyofhisobservation,show,inspiteofmyhavingbythistimesocountedonit,somethingofthevivacityofmyemotion。
\"SheHASgivenhimup?\"
Butthesurprisewithwhichhelookedroundputmebackonmyguard。
\"Ofwhatelsethenarewetalking?\"
\"Ofnothingelse,ofcourse,\"Istammered。\"Butthewayyousee——!\"
Ifoundmyrefugeinthegaspofmyadmiration。
\"Idosee。But\"——heWOULDcomebacktothat——\"onlythroughyourhavingseenfirst。Yougavemethepieces。I’vebutputthemtogether。YougavemetheBrissendens——boundhandandfoot;andI’vebutmadethem,inthatsorrystate,pullmethrough。I’veblownonmytorch,inotherwords,till,flaringandsmoking,ithasguidedme,throughamagnificentchiaroscuroofcolourandshadow,outintothelightofday。\"
Iwasreallydazzledbyhisimage,foritrepresentedhispersonalwork。
\"You’vedonemorethanI,itstrikesme——andwithlesstodoitwith。IfIgaveyoutheBrissendensIgaveyouallIhad。\"
\"Butallyouhadwasimmense,mydearman。TheBrissendensareimmense。\"
\"OfcoursetheBrissendensareimmense!Iftheyhadn’tbeenimmensetheywouldn’thavebeen——NOTHINGwouldhavebeen——anything。\"Thenafterapause,\"Yourimageissplendid,\"Iwenton——\"yourbeingoutofthecave。
Butwhatisitexactly,\"Iinsidiouslythrewout,\"thatyouCALLthe’lightofday’?\"
Iremainedamoment,however,notsurewhetherIhadbeentoosubtleortoosimple。Hehadanotherofhiscautions。\"WhatdoYOU——?\"
ButIwasdeterminedtomakehimgiveitmeallhimself,foritwasfrommynotpromptinghimthatitsvaluewouldcome。\"Youtellme,\"Iaccordinglyrathercrudelypleaded,\"first。\"
ItgaveusamomentduringwhichhesolookedasifIaskedtoomuch,thatIhadafearoflosingall。Heevenspokewithsomeimpatience。\"Ifyoureallyhaven’tfounditforyourself,youknow,IscarceseewhatyouCANhavefound。\"
ThenIhadmyinspiration。Iriskedanapproachtoroughness,andallthemoreeasilythatmywordswerestricttruth。\"Oh,don’tbeafraid——greaterthingsthanyours!\"
Itsucceeded,foritplayeduponhiscuriosity,andhevisiblyimaginedthat,withimpatiencecontrolled,heshouldlearnwhatthesethingswere。
Herelaxed,heresponded,andthenextmomentIwasinallbutfullenjoymentofthepiecewantedtomakeallmyotherpiecesright——rightbecauseofthatspecialbeautyinmyschemethroughwhichthewholedependedsooneachpartandeachpartsoguaranteedthewhole。\"WhatIcallthelightofdayisthesenseI’vearrivedatofhervision。\"
\"Hervision?\"——Ijustbalancedintheair。
\"Ofwhattheyhaveincommon。HIS——poorchap’sextraordinarysituationtoo。\"
\"Bravo!Andyouseeinthat——?\"
\"What,allthesehours,hastouched,fascinated,drawnher。Ithasbeenaninstinctwithher。\"
\"Bravissimo!\"
Itsawhim,myapproval,safelyintoport。\"Theinstinctofsympathy,pity——theresponsetofellowshipinmisery;thesightofanotherfateasstrange,asmonstrousasherown。\"